Video: Why did the Wooly Mammoth cross the stream?

posted at 5:52 pm on February 8, 2012 by Jazz Shaw

I could talk about politics, government or men’s fashion all day long, but eventually you have to get down to the big stories of the day. You may be worried about the economy, jobs, or who will be president this time next year. But what you really need to be focusing on is whether or not the Russians have discovered that the wooly mammoth is still alive.

A BEAST lurches through icy waters in a sighting a paranormal investigator thinks could prove woolly mammoths are not extinct after all.

The animal – thought to have mostly died out roughly 4,000 years ago – was apparently filmed wading through a river in the freezing wilds of Siberia.

The jaw-dropping footage was caught by a government-employed engineer last summer in the Chukotka Autonomous Okrug region of Siberia, it is claimed.

Before we get into this, (and a bit of personal history just for flavor) let’s take a look at the video, shall we?

I’ll give you a moment to form your own opinions. Feel free to leave them in the comments.

Here’s what this video is: it’s a bear with a fish in its mouth. Probably a really big brown bear, on scale with a grizzly. And they love to fish. And after catching a fish, they may very well stroll toward the shore to eat. This isn’t unusual at all.

Bears can also be a stone cold danger if you mess with them, so you want to be careful taking videos like this. I almost wish there were some existing video (or at least pictures) of my Uncle Jack with his shirt off. He was a walking billboard for the story of bears in the wild. He was a World War 2 vet, along with my dad, but one who managed to make it home with nary a scratch. Then, some years later, they were out hunting deer and he came across a black bear with cubs in the area.

Without boring you with the entire story, she charged him and he unloaded a full clip from a 30:06 into her. Even that didn’t manage to kill the bear immediately, though it did die on top of him after ripping him to shreds. They got Jack to a hospital and they sewed him up, but his chest was a horror show for the rest of his life, which he loved to scare the kids with at family reunions up at camp.

Well, that was a bit of a long aside, but this video looks like a bear to me. I’ve hunted them and this doesn’t look all that unusual. And I’m a guy who likes to watch shows about Finding Bigfoot. What do you think?


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Yawn…

Bear with fish.

Zybalto on February 8, 2012 at 5:54 PM

Pretty obvious it is a bear.

If mammoths still existed they would have been found already.

Pablo Honey on February 8, 2012 at 5:55 PM

Bear. Fish.

Charlemagne on February 8, 2012 at 5:56 PM

That was no mammoth. That was Bigfoot.

John the Libertarian on February 8, 2012 at 5:56 PM

I just want to know if Putin shot the bear once it got to shore?

WashJeff on February 8, 2012 at 5:56 PM

The Patterson-Gimlin film is better than this.

catmman on February 8, 2012 at 5:57 PM

I saw that at a state dinner.

crash72 on February 8, 2012 at 5:58 PM

This is why I come to HA…

d1carter on February 8, 2012 at 5:58 PM

Looks like something is dangling from its mouth. If its a bear, it has an awfully big head.

ted c on February 8, 2012 at 5:59 PM

I wanna see how it fares up against Chupacabra…

ted c on February 8, 2012 at 5:59 PM

And Finding Bigfoot stinks.

catmman on February 8, 2012 at 6:00 PM

where’s the Honey Badger when we need her/?

ted c on February 8, 2012 at 6:00 PM

I grew up in Montana, and have seen and shot many bears over my lifetime. That’s a damn bear with a big damn fish in it’s mouth. Look at how it’s walking. Elephant my ass. Oh… my crappy trac-phone can take better video than that.

SilverDeth on February 8, 2012 at 6:00 PM

Am I the only one who thinks this is fake?

catmman on February 8, 2012 at 6:01 PM

Its Man bear PIG !

William Amos on February 8, 2012 at 6:01 PM

Bear and salmon.

peacenprosperity on February 8, 2012 at 6:01 PM

bear with fish. but really only after you said it. before i was thinking mammoth.

nathor on February 8, 2012 at 6:01 PM

It is definitely a mammoth, and should be immediately put on the endangered species list…global warming could possible kill off the last of this species.
Another example of what the wanton destruction of man made global warming has done to our world…please send 1.5 million dollars to “Save a Mammoth—SAM” and you can help me save this beast from extinction.
For just $49.95 a year you can join the SAM I AM club for kids…

right2bright on February 8, 2012 at 6:01 PM

it did die on top of him after ripping him to shreds. They got Jack to a hospital and they sewed him up, but his chest was a horror show for the rest of his life, which he loved to scare the kids with at family reunions up at camp.

Heh. awesome. Someone once said that “scars are just tattoos with better stories.”

ted c on February 8, 2012 at 6:02 PM

Definitely bear with large fish. I’ve seen that exact scene in the wild.

flyfisher on February 8, 2012 at 6:02 PM

There are what we call grizzly bears (or a close relative) in Siberia see: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/East_Siberian_brown_bear

Brown bears have pretty large heads.

bnelson44 on February 8, 2012 at 6:02 PM

I don’t think its fake, its just misinterpreted, kinda like most data out there when uncertainty is involved.

ted c on February 8, 2012 at 6:03 PM

Yep, a bear with a large fish in the mouth.

carbon_footprint on February 8, 2012 at 6:03 PM

And I’m a guy who likes to watch shows about Finding Bigfoot. What do you think?

Um, TMI?

Cool story about your Uncle Jack. My grampa used to tell stories of hunting bears for days turning into weeks in the Northwoods. I think it might have been a euphamism for going on a bender but I was a kid and loved to hear the stories.

Fallon on February 8, 2012 at 6:03 PM

Fish transporting a bear

Wade on February 8, 2012 at 6:03 PM

Clearly a bear, or possibly a griffin.

It can’t be a Mastodon/mammoth becuase like Bigfoot and UFO’s, they only inhabit blurry out of focus regions of the world. This is only a misty rivery region.

darkannulus on February 8, 2012 at 6:05 PM

its Snuffleuphagus from Sesame Street, lost in Siberia after being outed as an ancestor to the Republican elephant……./

ted c on February 8, 2012 at 6:05 PM

If that’s supposed to be a woolly mammoth, where’s its honkin’ big tusks? Huh? Answer me that!

RebeccaH on February 8, 2012 at 6:06 PM

It’s Mr. snuffleupagus, silly.

portlandon on February 8, 2012 at 6:06 PM

It’s a wooly mammoth.
Big deal.

justltl on February 8, 2012 at 6:06 PM

I don’t know if its a mammoth or a bear but whatever it is you can bet its a registered Democrat voter in Chicago.

clippermiami on February 8, 2012 at 6:06 PM

Damnit… I wanted to believe. When i saw it this morning I saw mammoth. Now all I see is Bear with Fish.

Critic2029 on February 8, 2012 at 6:06 PM

Did no one else see Slender Man on the riverbank?

aawlberninF350 on February 8, 2012 at 6:07 PM

Without boring you with the entire story, she charged him and he unloaded a full clip from a 30:06 into her.

The old timers who hunted bear with single shot shotguns and black powder had serious stones.

flyfisher on February 8, 2012 at 6:08 PM

PS: Your relative should have climbed a tree rather than opened fire. He’s lucky it was a little black bear. A Grizzly would would have limbed him like a pine sapling, and died a few HOURS later. I have seen them shrug off head shots with rifles that could nominally be considered “anti-vehicle” weaponry.

First shot you try to break their hip or a leg, then you go for heart and head. You can empty out their brain case, or explode their heart, and a bear is still more than capable of tearing you to pieces.

My father always carried a .44 magnum with him bear hunting – he’d half-jokingly say that “No that’s not for the bear, it’s for me if the bear gets to me.

He was mostly joking.

Mostly.

SilverDeth on February 8, 2012 at 6:08 PM

The animal – thought to have mostly died out roughly 4,000 years ago…

They were only mostly dead…

JetBoy on February 8, 2012 at 6:08 PM

OK, we REALLY must be bored.

Opposite Day on February 8, 2012 at 6:09 PM

Its Man bear PIG !

William Amos on February 8, 2012 at 6:01 PM

Undoubtedly.

Expect exclusive footage on current tv.

(at first I thought it was bishop, racing to post first).

Tim_CA on February 8, 2012 at 6:10 PM

It’s amazing the wooly mammoth was still around 4000 years ago. I guess global warming killed it off then. /sarc

There were 35 million people on earth then. It’s possible it was hunted to extinction.

Paul-Cincy on February 8, 2012 at 6:11 PM

It is a wooly mammoth with a trunk disfigured so that it looks like a fish. It was going to a meeting with Nessie, Champ and all the other cryptozoological imaginings! A bear, really? How gullible do you think we are? (this after I posted it to my facebook account withg a 12 year old “cooool!!!’ included)

allstonian on February 8, 2012 at 6:11 PM

OK, we REALLY must be bored.

Opposite Day on February 8, 2012 at 6:09 PM

i was think the same…

nathor on February 8, 2012 at 6:11 PM

I want a wooly mammoth cloned in the next 10 years. What’s the problem?

Paul-Cincy on February 8, 2012 at 6:11 PM

You’re all wrong. It’s a woolly mammoth with a large fish in it’s mouth.

Signed,

Big Foot

DngrMse on February 8, 2012 at 6:12 PM

Bear, fish and piss poor photography. He probably has Bigfoot and Nessie on tape also.

RickB on February 8, 2012 at 6:12 PM

I just finished reading a book about the Fish and Wildlife Service’s wildlife forensics lab in Oregon. Even though they are extinct, mammoth ivory is sufficiently common that when people get arrested for transport of elephant ivory, which is illegal, they claim as a defense that the ivory is from mammoths, which you can transport. So one of the things the wildlife forensics lab had to do was figure out foolproof ways of telling the one type of ivory from the other. I can’t recall all the details; I believe they found that under a microscope there are always striations on one that aren’t on the other, or that the striations have species specific patterns, or something like that.

radjah shelduck on February 8, 2012 at 6:12 PM

At the start of the video, from farther away, it resembles the profile of a wooly mammoth as I’ve seen in pictures but as it gets closer, it becomes clear that it’s a bear with a fish. However, scientists not long ago dug out a well-preserved wooly mammoth from the ice and snow in Siberia and were considering a possible cloning attempt from its DNA. So you might see one or two running around Siberia someday.

stukinIL4now on February 8, 2012 at 6:12 PM

You’re all wrong. It’s a woolly mammoth with a large fish in it’s mouth.

Signed,

Big Foot

DngrMse on February 8, 2012 at 6:12 PM

lmao.

Tim_CA on February 8, 2012 at 6:13 PM

Mammoth pretending to be a bear with fish.

Random on February 8, 2012 at 6:14 PM

The old timers who hunted bear with single shot shotguns and black powder had serious stones.

flyfisher on February 8, 2012 at 6:08 PM

dude…My great grandfather had a bear in his living room. It was stuffed, standing up, claws out, jaws open and a single 12ga hole in its chest. I was about 3-4 years old and my dad took me in that living room and flipped on the lights…..yikes.

to this day, I remember how huge that bear was–it mighta been regular size, but to a 3 yr old boy, it was ginormous!

ted c on February 8, 2012 at 6:15 PM

At the start of the video, from farther away, it resembles the profile of a wooly mammoth as I’ve seen in pictures but as it gets closer, it becomes clear that it’s a bear with a fish. However, scientists not long ago dug out a well-preserved wooly mammoth from the ice and snow in Siberia and were considering a possible cloning attempt from its DNA. So you might see one or two running around Siberia someday.

stukinIL4now on February 8, 2012 at 6:12 PM

lets spice it up, if that happens it will be a miracle, so scientists 1 god 0.

nathor on February 8, 2012 at 6:15 PM

Its Man bear PIG !

William Amos on February 8, 2012 at 6:01 PM

Is he looking for the Siberian Chakra Releaser or something? I hear she has a shop out there…..

ted c on February 8, 2012 at 6:16 PM

Did it sound like Ray Romano?

BHO Jonestown on February 8, 2012 at 6:16 PM

Yeah, bear.

That said, the way it is walking looks weird. Like a cheaply done computer animation of a bear walking.

Sterling Holobyte on February 8, 2012 at 6:17 PM

This one is funnier

http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/4115069/About-that-micro-pig-you-sold-me.html

pedestrian on February 8, 2012 at 6:16 PM

hmmm, bacon!

nathor on February 8, 2012 at 6:19 PM

I don’t believe anything that comes out of China or Russia. Period.

LaughterJones on February 8, 2012 at 6:19 PM

lets spice it up, if that happens it will be a miracle, so scientists 1 god 0.

nathor on February 8, 2012 at 6:15 PM

Just because scientists play God, doesn’t mean they are God.

Let’s see them create something out of nothing.

Oh, wait, they already have, The Theory Of Evolution. My bad.

Sterling Holobyte on February 8, 2012 at 6:19 PM

That’s Rosie O’Donnell carrying that Maddow dude in her monstrous jaws.

Your Mamma loves me on February 8, 2012 at 6:20 PM

If that’s supposed to be a woolly mammoth, where’s its honkin’ big tusks? Huh? Answer me that!

RebeccaH on February 8, 2012 at 6:06 PM

Silly! By its size it is obviously a baby. It’s tusks haven’t developed yet.

Sterling Holobyte on February 8, 2012 at 6:21 PM

Pretty clearly a Siberian fighting salmon that is dragging a bear out into the river to drown it.

JeremiahJohnson on February 8, 2012 at 6:22 PM

Why is it the camera person can never get the focus thingy figured out? Bear.

Bmore on February 8, 2012 at 6:23 PM

I don’t know what it is but I’ll bet it tastes like chicken.

Oldnuke on February 8, 2012 at 6:23 PM

No, no, it’s because of global warming. It’s a mammoth who thawed out, probably that frozen ones mate.

tinkerthinker on February 8, 2012 at 6:23 PM

The old timers who hunted bear with single shot shotguns and black powder had serious stones.

flyfisher on February 8, 2012 at 6:08 PM

I knew a guy who hunted bear with a bow! Guy was a nut.

On a side note, not only is the fish big, but I wouldn’t want to meet that bear in a dark alley either.

BierManVA on February 8, 2012 at 6:24 PM

Did no one else see Slender Man on the riverbank?

aawlberninF350 on February 8, 2012 at 6:07 PM

He’s not slender…..he’s missing a leg.

Rovin on February 8, 2012 at 6:24 PM

Let’s see them create something out of nothing.

Oh, wait, they already have, The Theory Of Evolution. My bad.

Sterling Holobyte on February 8, 2012 at 6:19 PM

Seriously you aren’t that stupid right? please tell me you’re having fun on the internet and that you can actually walk and chew gum at the same time. Because if you think that statement of yours even has a whiff of truth and reality to please for the “love” of your make believe “god” DON’T litter the gene pool with your simple unbranched DNA.

Your Mamma loves me on February 8, 2012 at 6:25 PM

It’s a mammoth wooly bear with a fish

elintex on February 8, 2012 at 6:25 PM

It’s obvious:

Bearmoth.

MichaelGabriel on February 8, 2012 at 6:25 PM

Let’s see them create something out of nothing.

Oh, wait, they already have, The Theory Of Evolution. My bad.

Sterling Holobyte on February 8, 2012 at 6:19 PM

Ahh… the “something out of nothing theory”…which is of course more believable.

BierManVA on February 8, 2012 at 6:26 PM

Pretty clearly a Siberian fighting salmon that is dragging a bear out into the river to drown it.

JeremiahJohnson on February 8, 2012 at 6:22 PM

heh. that salmon must’ve dragged that bear outta hibernation and was headed back to its lair under some rock in the middle of that stream to save it for later.

I wonder if bear is good on a bagel like salmon is….?

questions.

ted c on February 8, 2012 at 6:26 PM

It’s amazing the wooly mammoth was still around 4000 years ago. I guess global warming killed it off then. /sarc

There were 35 million people on earth then. It’s possible it was hunted to extinction.

Paul-Cincy on February 8, 2012 at 6:11 PM

Yep.

http://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0033589408000422

Some history of travel between Asia and Alaska here also:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wrangel_Island

pedestrian on February 8, 2012 at 6:27 PM

Not sure what a bear in Siberia is doing out fishing this time of year. But I guess that makes more sense than a mammoth.

Also, birthing these things is surprisingly easy. Extract an elephant egg, inject mammoth DNA (doesn’t even have to bo sperm), put it back in the elephant and you’ll have a mammoth. Sooner or later someone will do it.

bernverdnardo1 on February 8, 2012 at 6:27 PM

Just because scientists play God, doesn’t mean they are God.

God seems just a bored being playing with creation for its own amusement. Much like a scientist.

Let’s see them create something out of nothing.

Oh, wait, they already have, The Theory Of Evolution. My bad.

Sterling Holobyte on February 8, 2012 at 6:19 PM

yeah, But God stop submitting papers for at least 2000 years while scientists have been frenetically creating stuff out nothing for the last 200 years. what’s up? God slacking on the job?

nathor on February 8, 2012 at 6:28 PM

Your Mamma loves me on February 8, 2012 at 6:25 PM

oh therre it is. A faith based argument countered with an angry faith based argument.

can’t we just all eat our wooly bear mammoth and get along here??

ted c on February 8, 2012 at 6:28 PM

Ha, that would have been better if the video was a little fuzzier and they didnt zoom in. Then we could have had a “Finding mammoth” tv show. BTW ive watched the Finding Bigfoot show and they just crack me up. “oooowwwwoooo” “Did you hear that, that was a squach”

Greed on February 8, 2012 at 6:28 PM

I knew a guy who hunted bear with a bow! Guy was a nut.

On a side note, not only is the fish big, but I wouldn’t want to meet that bear in a dark alley either.

BierManVA on February 8, 2012 at 6:24 PM

Yes, a friend of mine, shot one started tracking, the guide said no, wait until tomorrow, my friend was miffed, paid big bucks and the wimpy guide said “no”…next day, 1/2 mile down the trail, dead bear, he propped himself up against a tree, around a blind corner, and was waiting for them to track him…a trap that would have killed them both…the guide wasn’t so “wimpy” after that, and my friend never went hunting for bear again…

right2bright on February 8, 2012 at 6:29 PM

jazz, isn’t woolly spelled with two “l”s???

i usually spell it that way (except when I’m dragging a bear in my teeth)…

ted c on February 8, 2012 at 6:30 PM

Your Mamma loves me on February 8, 2012 at 6:25 PM

Wherein a fun, silly FIA thread was ruined by a caustic atheist.

catmman on February 8, 2012 at 6:30 PM

That’s no bear, it’s a space station.

wte9 on February 8, 2012 at 6:30 PM

Big bear carrying a fish.Russkies apparently cannot get hold of decent cameras either.

Southernblogger on February 8, 2012 at 6:31 PM

can’t we just all eat our wooly bear mammoth and get along here??

ted c on February 8, 2012 at 6:28 PM

Mmmmm! Wooly mammoth loin, seared, sliced thin piled up on rye bread and topped with sauerkraut, lacy Swiss and a little thousand island. A wooly Reuben!

Oldnuke on February 8, 2012 at 6:32 PM

Definitely not a wooly mammoth. Probably more a Polyester Bear.

BigAlSouth on February 8, 2012 at 6:32 PM

Seriously you aren’t that stupid right? please tell me you’re having fun on the internet and that you can actually walk and chew gum at the same time. Because if you think that statement of yours even has a whiff of truth and reality to please for the “love” of your make believe “god” DON’T litter the gene pool with your simple unbranched DNA.

Your Mamma loves me on February 8, 2012 at 6:25 PM

dude, being serious in this kind of threads? it just does not seem right ….

Wherein a fun, silly FIA thread was ruined by a caustic atheist.

catmman on February 8, 2012 at 6:30 PM

not it is not! play ball!

nathor on February 8, 2012 at 6:33 PM

Did it sound like Ray Romano?

BHO Jonestown on February 8, 2012 at 6:16 PM

Heh.

(from the dad of an eight-year-old).

Tim_CA on February 8, 2012 at 6:33 PM

quick! Ask the age-old question: “Do you sh!t in the woods?” If the thing says “Damn Straight!” then we know, fer sure, its a friggin’ bear and can’t be nothin’ else……

Evidence.

ted c on February 8, 2012 at 6:33 PM

That’s no bear, it’s a space station.

wte9 on February 8, 2012 at 6:30 PM

That’s effin funny right there…

:)

catmman on February 8, 2012 at 6:33 PM

I guess if you were a Russian and you just had your daily allotment of vodka you might think that was a wooly mammoth, otherwise yeah, it’s obviously a bear with a fish in it’s mouth.

clearbluesky on February 8, 2012 at 6:34 PM

A wooly Reuben!

Oldnuke on February 8, 2012 at 6:32 PM

Now that there is FUNNY!~~~~

ted c on February 8, 2012 at 6:34 PM

Quick! …get me the Fact or Faked team on the phone!

The Ugly American on February 8, 2012 at 6:35 PM

The old timers who hunted bear with single shot shotguns and black powder had serious stones.

flyfisher on February 8, 2012 at 6:08 PM

I knew a guy who hunted bear with a bow! Guy was a nut.

On a side note, not only is the fish big, but I wouldn’t want to meet that bear in a dark alley either.

BierManVA on February 8, 2012 at 6:24 PM

I’ve talked to a few guys who hunt bear with bows. I know at least some states prohibit bow hunters from taking a sidearm along. I might do it with a bow if I had a guide with a rifle or if I could carry a .454 Casull in a chest rig. Otherwise it’s not for me.

flyfisher on February 8, 2012 at 6:35 PM

that’s certainly not shot in North Korea….that bear (and the fish) are certainly overfed…..

ted c on February 8, 2012 at 6:35 PM

Sooner or later someone will do it.

bernverdnardo1 on February 8, 2012 at 6:27 PM

Ever since thy found that frozen baby some years back ive been waiting. Id wish they would hurry up. Plus ive been waiting for those gene manipulators to flip some switches and turn a chicken into a small Dinosaur. Ive been wanting to see a dino since i was a kid.

Greed on February 8, 2012 at 6:35 PM

It’s FLOTUS!

carbon_footprint on February 8, 2012 at 6:37 PM

I might do it with a bow if I had a guide with a rifle or if I could carry a .454 Casull in a chest rig. Otherwise it’s not for me.

flyfisher on February 8, 2012 at 6:35 PM

yeah really, by outlawing the pistol, they’re essentially outlawing bowhunting of bear because most people are going to say the same thing (i sure as hell would–but I’d carry a .44)

ted c on February 8, 2012 at 6:37 PM

Does a bear eat in the stream?

Joe Mama on February 8, 2012 at 6:37 PM

dude…My great grandfather had a bear in his living room. It was stuffed, standing up, claws out, jaws open and a single 12ga hole in its chest. I was about 3-4 years old and my dad took me in that living room and flipped on the lights…..yikes.

to this day, I remember how huge that bear was–it mighta been regular size, but to a 3 yr old boy, it was ginormous!

ted c on February 8, 2012 at 6:15 PM

I bet I would have liked your great grandfather.

flyfisher on February 8, 2012 at 6:37 PM

Guy in a gorilla suit with a long penis.

rdbrewer on February 8, 2012 at 6:38 PM

A wooly mammoth, bigfoot, and a giant fish walk into a bar….

Tim_CA on February 8, 2012 at 6:38 PM

I’m going with Yeti in a bear suit.

Pablo Snooze on February 8, 2012 at 6:39 PM

Uncle Jack sounds like a cool mofo.

EarthToZoey on February 8, 2012 at 6:39 PM

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