Video: Why did the Wooly Mammoth cross the stream?

posted at 5:52 pm on February 8, 2012 by Jazz Shaw

I could talk about politics, government or men’s fashion all day long, but eventually you have to get down to the big stories of the day. You may be worried about the economy, jobs, or who will be president this time next year. But what you really need to be focusing on is whether or not the Russians have discovered that the wooly mammoth is still alive.

A BEAST lurches through icy waters in a sighting a paranormal investigator thinks could prove woolly mammoths are not extinct after all.

The animal – thought to have mostly died out roughly 4,000 years ago – was apparently filmed wading through a river in the freezing wilds of Siberia.

The jaw-dropping footage was caught by a government-employed engineer last summer in the Chukotka Autonomous Okrug region of Siberia, it is claimed.

Before we get into this, (and a bit of personal history just for flavor) let’s take a look at the video, shall we?

I’ll give you a moment to form your own opinions. Feel free to leave them in the comments.

Here’s what this video is: it’s a bear with a fish in its mouth. Probably a really big brown bear, on scale with a grizzly. And they love to fish. And after catching a fish, they may very well stroll toward the shore to eat. This isn’t unusual at all.

Bears can also be a stone cold danger if you mess with them, so you want to be careful taking videos like this. I almost wish there were some existing video (or at least pictures) of my Uncle Jack with his shirt off. He was a walking billboard for the story of bears in the wild. He was a World War 2 vet, along with my dad, but one who managed to make it home with nary a scratch. Then, some years later, they were out hunting deer and he came across a black bear with cubs in the area.

Without boring you with the entire story, she charged him and he unloaded a full clip from a 30:06 into her. Even that didn’t manage to kill the bear immediately, though it did die on top of him after ripping him to shreds. They got Jack to a hospital and they sewed him up, but his chest was a horror show for the rest of his life, which he loved to scare the kids with at family reunions up at camp.

Well, that was a bit of a long aside, but this video looks like a bear to me. I’ve hunted them and this doesn’t look all that unusual. And I’m a guy who likes to watch shows about Finding Bigfoot. What do you think?


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Ive been wanting to see a dino since i was a kid.

Greed on February 8, 2012 at 6:35 PM

I don’t care a fig about seein’ one. I just want to cook one. Take a big drag line to dig a pit big enough to BBQ a brontosaurus though.

Oldnuke on February 8, 2012 at 6:39 PM

Newt Gingrich needs to get to the bottom of this!

aryeung on February 8, 2012 at 6:40 PM

Two midget Bigfoots in a Yogi bear suit doing an impression of a bi-sexual Mammoth vacuuming a river with his/her trunk…

albill on February 8, 2012 at 6:42 PM

Oldnuke on February 8, 2012 at 6:39 PM

Grass-fed, free range?

I’ll bring the beer!

Tim_CA on February 8, 2012 at 6:43 PM

Two midget Bigfoots in a Yogi bear suit doing an impression of a bi-sexual Mammoth vacuuming a river with his/her trunk…

albill on February 8, 2012 at 6:42 PM

now there’s a Barney Frank fantasy.

Tim_CA on February 8, 2012 at 6:45 PM

Yep. BIG bear with a BIG fish in its mouth.

Tomolena1 on February 8, 2012 at 6:46 PM

Obviously, it’s Sasquatch in a bear suit.

The very well-preserved Siberian mammoth carcasses being dug up will be cloned soon enough.

locomotivebreath1901 on February 8, 2012 at 6:47 PM

It’s a thylacine you morons.

roy_batty on February 8, 2012 at 6:47 PM

Mandatory.

maineconservative on February 8, 2012 at 6:47 PM

Just my initial reaction (I saw this on The Sun’s website first, where it doesn’t have the bear theory) is that it looks too small to be a Mammoth, but too big to be a grizzly. Maybe draft-horse size??? Hard to get perspective without any objects closer to the creature.
Does anyone know what kinds of bears live in Siberia?

Glenn Jericho on February 8, 2012 at 6:48 PM

Moochelle with a lobster?

Joe Mama on February 8, 2012 at 6:49 PM

Mandatory.

maineconservative on February 8, 2012 at 6:47 PM

friggin’ hilarious!

Tim_CA on February 8, 2012 at 6:50 PM

I thought the trunk looked funny, unattached and didn’t move right. It’s a bear alright, but carrying a saxophone wrapped in a mink coat. That’s obvious now.

bagoh20 on February 8, 2012 at 6:55 PM

I don’t know if its a mammoth or a bear but whatever it is you can bet its a registered Democrat voter in Chicago.

clippermiami on February 8, 2012 at 6:06 PM

Lol! Thread Winner!

Who is John Galt on February 8, 2012 at 6:59 PM

Why would anyone think a wooly mammoth would be wading a river with it’s nostrils underwater?

ButterflyDragon on February 8, 2012 at 6:59 PM

It’s a thylacine you morons.

roy_batty on February 8, 2012 at 6:47 PM

a cat-like quadraped?

Pass da b*ng por favor.

Tim_CA on February 8, 2012 at 7:02 PM

Rosie O’Donnell on vacation?

Logboy on February 8, 2012 at 7:03 PM

Why would anyone think a wooly mammoth would be wading a river with it’s nostrils underwater?

ButterflyDragon on February 8, 2012 at 6:59 PM

Auto-erotic axphyxiation?

Tim_CA on February 8, 2012 at 7:04 PM

maineconservative on February 8, 2012 at 6:47 PM

LOL

d1carter on February 8, 2012 at 7:04 PM

Would like it to be a mammoth, but it’s most likely a bear with a fish. Like this one, which is a Siberian bear with a fish, coincidentally.
http://picturesofbears.net/Siberian-Brown-Bear.jpg

I don’t know if its a mammoth or a bear but whatever it is you can bet its a registered Democrat voter in Chicago.

clippermiami on February 8, 2012 at 6:06 PM

I agree–thread winner!

theotherone on February 8, 2012 at 7:05 PM

I’d hunt grizzly with a stick before I’d ice fish in the arctic.

Oldnuke on February 8, 2012 at 7:08 PM

On the one hand, the “trunk” doesn’t really look like a fish to me.

On the other hand, if it is a trunk, the mammoth has mange.

NCC on February 8, 2012 at 7:15 PM

Is that, no it can’t be, but yes, it’s Elvis riding on its back. Seriously though, if the video was taken anyplace other than Siberia I’d not given it a serious thought. Siberia is huge area, with whole mountain ranges that have never been explored.
Maybe be… with “One Step Beyond” spooky music playing in the background.

mike3121 on February 8, 2012 at 7:15 PM

At 13-14 seconds of the video you can see what appear to be tusks obscuring the top of the trunk or fish.It moves more ponderously than does a bear.
It may be fake but I don’t think it’s a bear.

Curmudgeon on February 8, 2012 at 7:18 PM

I know at least some states prohibit bow hunters from taking a sidearm along. I might do it with a bow if I had a guide with a rifle or if I could carry a .454 Casull in a chest rig. Otherwise it’s not for me.

flyfisher on February 8, 2012 at 6:35 PM

A friend of mine wanted me to back him when he went hunting Alaska Grizzlies with a bow.

But the heaviest rifle I owned was a .338 Winchester Magnum, and I just did not feel that was a sufficient stopper for 1000 pounds of pissed off bear with an arrow stuck in him.

Siddhartha Vicious on February 8, 2012 at 7:22 PM

Clearly, it’s a mammoth. And probably a remnant of a grand Soviet-era plot to genetically engineer super mammoths. Commie ones. Like Ivan Drago.

Sigh. Yeah. it’s a bear.

runningpundit on February 8, 2012 at 7:25 PM

I thought it was Roseanne Barr getting in shape for her presidential run.

Mr. Arkadin on February 8, 2012 at 7:27 PM

I heard a story once (joke or real?) about how smoke-jumpers are told to carry a .357 magnum on them when working a fire line in remote woods in case they run into a grizzly. The .357 is not for shooting the bear, it’s to make sure that when you off yourself before being mauled, that it works effectively on the first try.

maineconservative on February 8, 2012 at 7:30 PM

Clearly, it’s a mammoth. And probably a remnant of a grand Soviet-era plot to genetically engineer super mammoths. Commie ones. Like Ivan Drago.

Sigh. Yeah. it’s a bear.

runningpundit on February 8, 2012 at 7:25 PM

Don’t laugh. Stalin had a program that cross-bred humans and apes as a military expriment. Failed, of course, but a few creatures were produced.

riddick on February 8, 2012 at 7:39 PM

Bear and salmon.

peacenprosperity on February 8, 2012 at 6:01 PM

I agree with peacenpro.

multiuseless on February 8, 2012 at 7:40 PM

It’s clearly a bear – with a fish.

Notice the relation of the size of rocks on the shore and the bear… its really not that “huge”. Just crap video. Put it in full screen – and you also see the size of the whitecaps are relative to a regular sized stream.

Additionally, its :24 seconds long – an odd video count and phases out purposely. I am sure the next 5-10 seconds show the full bear walking out, lying down and eating some tasty fish, then rolling over to nap.

Pike in the Great Lakes run about 4-8 feet long.

But hey, after Obama got elected – anything’s possible.

Odie1941 on February 8, 2012 at 7:42 PM

According to PPP this mammoth is now leading in Virginia.

The video quality is too low to make any grand proclamations. It’s a big blurry object moving through the water. There. That’s what it is.

fatlibertarianinokc on February 8, 2012 at 7:50 PM

I’d rather see a woolly rhinoceros.

Fallon on February 8, 2012 at 7:54 PM

The price of salmon…is TOO DAMN HIGH.

Tim_CA on February 8, 2012 at 7:56 PM

Two midget Bigfoots in a Yogi bear suit doing an impression of a bi-sexual Mammoth vacuuming a river with his/her trunk…

albill on February 8, 2012 at 6:42 PM

That’s not me (or two of me) in a bear suit. I’m back here in good old North America. On the other hand, that might be my Asian cousin Yeti.

Bigfoot on February 8, 2012 at 8:00 PM

and he unloaded a full clip from a 30:06 into her

Actually, it’s .30-06

Marcola on February 8, 2012 at 8:05 PM

Eather
A Bawney Frwank wet dream
Or
Mooshell at red Lobster

Thread winners, to funny

angrymike on February 8, 2012 at 8:07 PM

Rosie Odonnel heading to a back-waxing appointment carrying an extra large cheese-steak hoagie.

Tim_CA on February 8, 2012 at 8:10 PM

It’s just SarahCuda bringing some fish home for Trig.

Move along.

KirknBurker on February 8, 2012 at 8:21 PM

It’s just SarahCuda bringing some fish home for Trig.

Move along.

KirknBurker on February 8, 2012 at 8:21 PM

Fail, lol

tinkerthinker on February 8, 2012 at 8:28 PM

At 13-14 seconds of the video you can see what appear to be tusks obscuring the top of the trunk or fish.It moves more ponderously than does a bear.
It may be fake but I don’t think it’s a bear.

Curmudgeon on February 8, 2012 at 7:18 PM

I noticed that myself also, but the only place I can actually see the tusks is where they cross the trunk. I’m still not sold on the video though.

TO OUR FISHERMEN:
Could the white area be markings on the “fish” or a reflection from it?

Glenn Jericho on February 8, 2012 at 8:30 PM

It’s a “Loch Ness Sasquatch woolly mammoth”

Bitter Clinger on February 8, 2012 at 8:32 PM

I thought “bear with fish” immediately, but then I swear I can make out…tusks?! Could this be the fabled Tusked Salmon?!

NorthernEx on February 8, 2012 at 8:42 PM

I hope what ever it doesn’t have worms..

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=8OmyyHyya64

tinkerthinker on February 8, 2012 at 8:46 PM

Mutant Chupacabra with an Elephant trunk shaped like a fish.

SparkPlug on February 8, 2012 at 9:00 PM

Rosie Odonnel heading to a back-waxing appointment carrying an extra large cheese-steak hoagie.

Tim_CA on February 8, 2012 at 8:10 PM

Good one. Big time chuckle.

SparkPlug on February 8, 2012 at 9:01 PM

I think it’s a samsquanch.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NL_SL73iNFE

fourbten on February 8, 2012 at 9:02 PM

Moochelle Obama hula-hooping?

SouthernGent on February 8, 2012 at 9:09 PM

That’s no mammoth.

Its a mastodon!

profitsbeard on February 8, 2012 at 9:20 PM

I’m sure its a bear holding a fish. However, its a very unusual bear because this one seems to have big elephant like ears and tusks.

pitythefool on February 8, 2012 at 9:23 PM

Man Bear Pig! ….woooha! It’s comming right at us!

rocker98 on February 8, 2012 at 9:25 PM

Does anyone know what kinds of bears live in Siberia?

Russian ones.

TABoLK on February 8, 2012 at 9:27 PM

Oldnuke on February 8, 2012 at 6:39 PM

Can I get an invite to this, too?

…I’ll bring a keg of Manny’s Pale Ale.

davisbr on February 8, 2012 at 9:29 PM

I went back and forth on the bear/mammoth question, then looked at it on the enlarged screen. It’s ears are moving, and if a bear has ears that big, why I think that we have found another long lost Obama sibling.

Look right before the video ends on a screen with good detail. I will go for hoax, but I don’t see a bear anymore.

InWyoVeritas on February 8, 2012 at 9:40 PM

Mitt Romney hunts varmints. Probably with John Kerry.

HopeHeFails on February 8, 2012 at 9:56 PM

Mooschell, and she ain’t happy about not having lobster.

Wooly Mammoths are not as hairy and do not have that Chewbaca style grooming.

Also, after running the video through smoothing and enhancement software you’ll notice a Che bumper sticker on her a$$.

Bubba Redneck on February 8, 2012 at 10:11 PM

Conservative Response: Bear with fish.

Liberal Response: Subsidize HD cameras for government workers.

Aronne on February 8, 2012 at 10:43 PM

I vote—> Bear with Fish

Dollayo on February 8, 2012 at 11:26 PM

the only thing that would make me say it isn’t a bear is the arch of the back and angle of the neck…no reason he’d carry a fish all dainty like to the shore.

Though 90% chance this is a bear. There IS a reason the lens is blurry after all.

Sammo21 on February 8, 2012 at 11:53 PM

That is a Bear with a big trout in it’s mouth.

Lawrence on February 9, 2012 at 12:58 AM

Without boring you with the entire story, she charged him and he unloaded a full clip from a 30:06 into her.

What a badass old dude.

When you tell that story in the future, you should use the right terminology.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AF21sihEgOU

warden on February 9, 2012 at 1:04 AM

I’m going with Yeti in a bear suit.

Pablo Snooze on February 8, 2012 at 6:39 PM

Haha.

Yeti in a bear suit, as a registered Chicago voter?

LaughterJones on February 9, 2012 at 8:03 AM

Oh come on, that’s MO scouting out her next vacation spot while enjoying the local cuisine.

nwpammy on February 9, 2012 at 8:52 AM

I’m going to dissent and say mammoth. The major reasons are (a) I’ve seen bears with fish, and they typically thrash around pretty good in rapids that forceful. Brown bears also like to thrash the fish around.
(b) is not implausible that a population of them might survive in a remote, uncharted region of northern Russia that is roughly the size of HALF the United States. That’s a lot of room. Proboscideans(elephant family) are the only other species (besides humans) that will consciously migrate to avoid detection, or because of resource availability. They are the only other species besides humans to migrate as far out of Africa as we have. I think it’s entirely possible.
(c) scientists find new macro species all the time, it’s not all that shocking to me that this could occur.
(d) I really, really want it to be true. What a magnificent find.

rightallthetime on February 9, 2012 at 9:33 AM

Pravda pays good rubles for this kind of whackery. Wonder if they bought it for print.

jake49 on February 9, 2012 at 9:42 AM

Wait, aren’t bears supposed to be hibernating right now?

jake49 on February 9, 2012 at 9:43 AM

How big can a grizzly bear get?

Pretty big.

http://urbanlegends.about.com/library/bl-grizzlybear2.htm

itsspideyman on February 9, 2012 at 10:11 AM

Does anyone know what kinds of bears live in Siberia?

Russian ones.

TABoLK on February 8, 2012 at 9:27 PM

That aren’t very bright, drink too much and can’t drive for sh*t. At least that’s what Frank Stallone says.

swinia sutki on February 9, 2012 at 10:34 AM

Mammoth my foot! I’m half blind because of Diabetes and I can see it’s a bear. BTW, It’s very difficult to be surprised by bears. I encountered several Black Bears over the years in my younger backpacking days in Yosemite National Park and it’s a fact you can smell the damn things long before you see them. The odor and funk is powerful.

greasywrench on February 9, 2012 at 11:18 AM

It just looked like a big elephant to me??

Lou on February 9, 2012 at 3:23 PM

Big bear with a fish… and no fishing license.

“You go ask him for it.”
“No, you go ask him for it.”
“No, you…”

ya2daup on February 9, 2012 at 3:31 PM

Let’s see them create something out of nothing.

Oh, wait, they already have, The Theory Of Evolution. My bad.

Sterling Holobyte on February 8, 2012 at 6:19 PM

Seriously you aren’t that stupid right? please tell me you’re having fun on the internet and that you can actually walk and chew gum at the same time. Because if you think that statement of yours even has a whiff of truth and reality to please for the “love” of your make believe “god” DON’T litter the gene pool with your simple unbranched DNA.

Your Mamma loves me on February 8, 2012 at 6:25 PM

Nope, not stupid. Now, you on the other hand….

Romans 1:22 Professing themselves to be wise, they became fools,

Sterling Holobyte on February 10, 2012 at 12:58 PM

yeah, But God stop submitting papers for at least 2000 years while scientists have been frenetically creating stuff out nothing for the last 200 years. what’s up? God slacking on the job?

nathor on February 8, 2012 at 6:28 PM

Really? Funny, I don’t remember the last time scientists created the atom.

Sterling Holobyte on February 10, 2012 at 1:03 PM

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