The greatest country in the world: Bacon milkshake now available

posted at 8:45 pm on February 3, 2012 by Allahpundit

I’d call it a palate cleanser but ain’t nothing clean about this. Let me tell you something, though. We may have more debt than any nation in the history of the world. Our president may be a failed messiah whom nobody takes seriously anymore. Our Supreme Court justices may think our Constitution is eh. And our flagship car companies may churn out flaming bags of crapola. But as our country lurches towards the grave, take comfort in this: We’re going with our bellies full of the most insanely gluttonous treats that mentally ill chefs can come up with. This is what decadence tastes like, my friends. Like … bacon syrup.

Alternate headline: “Maybe that sugar tax isn’t such a bad idea after all.”

Jack in the Box is now serving a Bacon Milkshake. Yes, it’s real, and yes, they are hoping it will cause some sort of bacon-fueled mass hysteria, so it’s “as limited as limited can be.” Denny’s produced a Maple Bacon Sundae for their Baconalia promotion, so it’s not unheard of for a chain to add bacon to dessert, although word on the street is the Jack in the Box shake uses bacon-flavored syrup and not actual porky goodness.

There are no Jack in the Boxes (Jacks in the Box?) in New York so I’m forced to rely on the HA faithful who live near one of these things to go out this weekend, take one for the team, and report back. Someone on Twitter tells me she sampled it and that it was “the most disgusting thing I’ve ever tasted,” replete with an aftertaste that lingered for an hour. This guy, however, pronounced it “delicious” and said the crew was noticeably excited to make it. I’ll bet. Follow the last link for sweet, savory photos of America’s decline in a cup.

The exit question I never thought I’d ask: Have we gone too far with bacon?

Breaking on Hot Air

Blowback

Note from Hot Air management: This section is for comments from Hot Air's community of registered readers. Please don't assume that Hot Air management agrees with or otherwise endorses any particular comment just because we let it stand. A reminder: Anyone who fails to comply with our terms of use may lose their posting privilege.

Trackbacks/Pings

Trackback URL

Comments

Comment pages: 1 2

Why do people love bacon but fairly neutral on ham? They taste alike to me.

Imagine a milkshake that tastes like ham.

Dr. Tesla on February 3, 2012 at 9:51 PM

Pig in a Poke

Electrongod on February 3, 2012 at 9:38 PM

LOL. Now wait just a minute. I know the meaning of a ‘Pig in a Poke’ and that’s not it.

trish333 on February 3, 2012 at 9:57 PM

LOL. Now wait just a minute. I know the meaning of a ‘Pig in a Poke’ and that’s not it.

trish333 on February 3, 2012 at 9:57 PM

I know…
It sounded good though :)

Electrongod on February 3, 2012 at 10:20 PM

BACON!

Oldnuke on February 3, 2012 at 10:27 PM

Why do people love bacon but fairly neutral on ham? They taste alike to me.

Imagine a milkshake that tastes like ham.

Dr. Tesla on February 3, 2012 at 9:51 PM

Are you Canadian by any chance? Canadian bacon is not bacon..it’s ham.

Oldnuke on February 3, 2012 at 10:29 PM

Why do people love bacon but fairly neutral on ham? They taste alike to me.

Imagine a milkshake that tastes like ham.

Dr. Tesla on February 3, 2012 at 9:51 PM

.
Nope. To me, fried bacon and fried ham taste distinctly different. I love both but they come from a different part of the pig. Sorry you cannot differentiate, you are missing one of gastronmy’s little pleasures.
.
In fact, I could eat some of each for you and show you that they taste completely different. How would that be?

ExpressoBold on February 3, 2012 at 10:42 PM

Jack in the Box is the greatest fast food evah. Call your congressman to have one put near your house.

ald844 on February 3, 2012 at 10:44 PM

Why do people love bacon but fairly neutral on ham? They taste alike to me.

Dr. Tesla on February 3, 2012 at 9:51 PM

The inability to discern seems organic – have you been tested?

They are working wonders with electroshock therapy these days.

Adjoran on February 3, 2012 at 10:47 PM

The inability to discern seems organic – have you been tested?

They are working wonders with electroshock therapy these days.

Adjoran on February 3, 2012 at 10:47 PM

I’m guessing you are trying to say that the very liberal, probably most liberal Republican ever, is the best candidate this year, and if I could discern things like you can, like how awesome bacon is compared to it’s ugly cousin ham, I would know just how awesome Romney is. Right? :)

Dr. Tesla on February 3, 2012 at 10:55 PM

Have we gone too far with bacon?

I’ll take things a candy-ass rino would say for $400 Alex.

lorien1973 on February 3, 2012 at 9:13 PM

LOL Now that’s just funny, I don’t care who you are.

PolAgnostic on February 3, 2012 at 11:34 PM

Are you Canadian by any chance? Canadian bacon is not bacon..it’s ham.

Oldnuke on February 3, 2012 at 10:29 PM

Actually, Canadian bacon is not made from the rear quarter like our ham, it is the loin. IIRC, it is not smoked during curing.

a capella on February 3, 2012 at 11:48 PM

Michael Bloomberg is busy writing up a mission statement for a new group called Mayors Against Unhealthy Bacon.

Hobo with a laptop on February 4, 2012 at 12:00 AM

OK. I just finished my large bacon shake… and I gotta tell ya, I’m ready for another!

Wondering if they’re putting something in these shakes other than bacon…

JohnGalt23 on February 4, 2012 at 12:09 AM

I don’t think so. I love my bacon, but this is going too far.

Besides, back in the day, we used to refer to Jack in the Box as ‘Joke in the Bag’.

Or, ‘People Chow’, since they were owned by Ralston-Purina.

trigon on February 4, 2012 at 12:13 AM

The morons over @ ACE’s FB group will be in ecstasy.
I don’t eat bacon. I claim it’s out of respect for my birth faith-though my parents never kept kosher.
Husband thinks that I’m really doing it because I think pigs are cute.

annoyinglittletwerp on February 4, 2012 at 12:29 AM

Wondering if they’re putting something in these shakes other than bacon…

JohnGalt23 on February 4, 2012 at 12:09 AM

It’s the same one the Girl Scouts add to the Thin Mints

PolAgnostic on February 4, 2012 at 12:44 AM

No such thing as TOO far with bacon

jayhawkingeorgia on February 4, 2012 at 12:48 AM

Romney supporters tend to love bacon milkshakes and can’t even drive to Burger King and pick up their burger…they order Burger King delivery….they are that lazy.

Dr. Tesla on February 4, 2012 at 1:51 AM

It’s the same one the Girl Scouts add to the Thin Mints

PolAgnostic on February 4, 2012 at 12:44 AM

Dude, go to rehab, back away from the thin mints. The libs have been indoctrinating those unsuspecting Girl Scouts. They’re now handing out award patches for reading Algore’s ‘Inconvenient Truth’. Find out if the ‘Heritage Girls’ sell cookies. Conservative treats without the global warming guilt.

trish333 on February 4, 2012 at 2:22 AM

I was going to be a killjoy and slam such a frivolous post from AP. Until I saw it was from Jack!

Jack in the Box is my hometown (San Diego) burger joint. All my cruisin’ American Graffiti moments revolved around Jack’s Bonus Burger, fries, hot apple turnover and chocolate shake. Back in the day I could eat all that and still look damn good.

I’m busting with SoCal pride in Foodmaker Corp for rising to the Bacon Shake. I’m heading home from Baghdad by the Bay at 5:00 AM Saturday after over a year of exile. First stop, the Broadway Jack’s in El Cajon and a BLT Cheeseburger with a Bacon Shake.

Allah, I shall report in as requested. No Jack’s, no In-n-Out… I weep for you.

PS: for you poor folks who can’t eat In-n-Out locally, when in Tejas or California or Nevaaada or OOtah be sure to order
“ANIMAL STYLE”. It’s not on the menu. Shh. Don’t tell Allahp.

rcl on February 4, 2012 at 2:25 AM

Dude, go to rehab, back away from the thin mints. The libs have been indoctrinating those unsuspecting Girl Scouts. They’re now handing out award patches for reading Algore’s ‘Inconvenient Truth’. Find out if the ‘Heritage Girls’ sell cookies. Conservative treats without the global warming guilt.

trish333 on February 4, 2012 at 2:22 AM

uhmmm, trish – did you click on the Thin Mints link?

I get my Thin Mints from a G.S. pack that I can guarantee you will never get THAT award patch. Their den mothers would sooner drink battery acid.

PolAgnostic on February 4, 2012 at 2:33 AM

I get my Thin Mints from a G.S. pack that I can guarantee you will never get THAT award patch. Their den mothers would sooner drink battery acid.

PolAgnostic on February 4, 2012 at 2:33 AM

I did click. It was funny. That’s why the ‘rehab’ jab. Didn’t mean to come off preachy. True about the patches though, in Los Angeles. ;)

trish333 on February 4, 2012 at 2:44 AM

There is a God…!

Yakko77 on February 4, 2012 at 2:54 AM

True about the patches though, in Los Angeles. ;)

trish333 on February 4, 2012 at 2:44 AM

I love visiting California but the value system some folks have out in California … I was at a business dinner in San Francisco a few years ago. The topic that I had been married for 30 years came up and there was kind of a stunned silence at my end of the table. I asked the woman to my right “What was that about?”

She replied, “Well, around here if you had said that you were married to a lovely 23 year old who is your third wife – that would have fit in better.”

Ahh, ok then,

PolAgnostic on February 4, 2012 at 3:01 AM

There’s a reason why it’s called “Crap in the Box.”

Worst fast food ever.

Captain Kirock on February 4, 2012 at 5:43 AM

As an aside there’s also a bacon flavored vodka called, oddly enough, Bakon. It’s distilled in Oregon.

http://www.google.com/url?sa=t&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=web&cd=13&sqi=2&ved=0CHUQFjAM&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.drinkupny.com%2FBakon_Vodka_p%2Fs0825.htm&ei=PRotT5-0M-L50gGLzJzMCg&usg=AFQjCNEH5IpIr9bsBKETLc0J4QNQHxfu4Q&sig2=1HSvCDJ7CqLRIMOVrgwU-g

America. What a country !!

DevilsPrinciple on February 4, 2012 at 6:47 AM

Heh. Prostate screening ad.

LtGenRob on February 4, 2012 at 6:49 AM

First:

Ewwwwwww!

Second:

as limited as limited can be.

You betcha! *slurp*
-Michelle Obama

Valkyriepundit on February 4, 2012 at 7:39 AM

Have we gone too far with bacon?
I’ll take things a candy-ass rino would say for $400 Alex.

lorien1973 on February 3, 2012 at 9:13 PM

LOL Now that’s just funny, I don’t care who you are.

PolAgnostic on February 3, 2012 at 11:34 PM

I haven’t commented here in a while, and I’ve gotta say, that is funny. I’m on about my fifth or sixth gale of chortles. Good one!

Flotsam Jetsome on February 4, 2012 at 7:40 AM

I love NEWSBUSTED, on NewsBusters site, it’s great.

ANYTHING that causes “addiction” will be banned or taxed under ObamaCare.

You name it…….Motorcycles, skateboards, you could see pony rides for the kids be banned, public swimming pools, skydiving, scuba diving, outdoor fire pits, candles for sale indoors, George Foreman cooking grilles, horseshoe sets, football, baseball, etc.

You don’t think so?
They already mandate what kind of Gas cans can be manufactured in the US because of the environment, shower heads, working on banning garbage disposals, going after the Amish over milk, won’t let you watch children in your home without a state license, and on and on and on…..

Welcome to Progressive America…….where it’s “always winter, and never Spring”.

PappyD61 on February 4, 2012 at 7:58 AM

So… if it is awful do we somehow expect it will become popular and a major factor in the state of our civilization because it is awful or in spite of being awful?

MikeA on February 4, 2012 at 8:30 AM

What would be really cool is to open a malt shop that specializes in these, right next door to that Mosque in the Ground Zero area.

MikeA on February 4, 2012 at 8:32 AM

The exit question I never thought I’d ask: Have we gone too far with bacon?

We can never go too far with bacon. Bacon makes everything better.

It was a sorry day when Long Island lost their Jack in the Boxes (and Dairy Queens). Does Jack still offer super tacos? Super Tacos with french fries trumps anything Taco Bell can serve up these days.

CarolynM on February 4, 2012 at 9:04 AM

It was a sorry day when Long Island lost their Jack in the Boxes (and Dairy Queens). Does Jack still offer super tacos? Super Tacos with french fries trumps anything Taco Bell can serve up these days.

CarolynM on February 4, 2012 at 9:04 AM

Just regular tacos.

But they are 2/$0.99.

JohnGalt23 on February 4, 2012 at 9:16 AM

With bacon, you can do anything.

predator on February 3, 2012 at 9:36 PM

With Bacon all things are possible. Go ahead and put lipstick on that pig, for formal dining :)

Dr Evil on February 4, 2012 at 9:23 AM

This thread makes me want to fire up the grill and roll up a bacon bomb…mmmmm, bacon.

Norky on February 4, 2012 at 10:10 AM

I love Bacon!
I love Milkshakes!

Combining the two however is downright Vomitus Maximus.
Back in the day, Jack-in-the-Box was a great snack after a long night:
0200 hours (2 a.m.) Deep fried burrito and a strawberry shake!
Jack always advertised their excellent burgers with “secret sauce” which one could make jokes about for years … Mayonnaise, Ketchup, Relish … (nudge nudge, wink wink)

Bacon and eggs, a BLT, burgers, bread, whatever, just NOT a milk product!
blech

~(Ä)~

Karl Magnus on February 4, 2012 at 10:19 AM

They already mandate what kind of Gas cans can be manufactured in the US because of the environment…

Welcome to Progressive America…….where it’s “always winter, and never Spring”.

PappyD61 on February 4, 2012 at 7:58 AM

I have fugitivly released more gas on the ground with those spring loaded nozzles than I ever did with the the old flexible ones with a cap. Once busted off a plastic tank by pressing down to make the dang thing let gas flow and then noticed the nozzle didn’t close itself when I set the can down. Useless.

DanMan on February 4, 2012 at 11:42 AM

First Shake and Bake

Now Bacon Shake!!

Elizabetty on February 4, 2012 at 11:51 AM

Yuck!

francesca on February 4, 2012 at 12:23 PM

Bacon milkshakes? Is this the best they got? How about bacon blueberry muffins, chocolate peanut butter bacon cookies, and even bacon-flavored dog treats? Or bacon perfume? Or a bacon-scented variation on KY jelly?
And those are just for starters.

Howard Portnoy on February 4, 2012 at 1:05 PM

The exit question I never thought I’d ask: Have we gone too far with bacon?

Never.

mythicknight on February 4, 2012 at 1:38 PM

You can’t go to far with bacon.

Chocolate covered bacon is outstanding-the best I’ve had was at a conference at a litle restaurant on the river in Sacramento. It didn’t turn out as well when I made it myself, but it was still good.

talkingpoints on February 4, 2012 at 1:54 PM

Jack in the Box? I was hoping this would be from Hardee’s/Carls’ Jr. I live in Ohio. There is no Jack in the Box in Ohio. Or any contiguous state.

*sigh*

john1v6 on February 4, 2012 at 7:18 PM

I took my wife out for an afternoon drive and a Bacon Shake at Jack in the Box! Boy do I know how to show a girl a good time. I didn’t care for it. Too much bacony aftertaste. She liked it better than I did, but she’s from Oklahoma so go figure.

longfeet on February 4, 2012 at 7:42 PM

Sugar tax?

eh’hem as in paper tax… tea tax?

now bacon tax! next thing ther’l be some kind of personal plea..

nm

amend2 on February 4, 2012 at 11:46 PM

Bacon: Truly one of God’s greatest gifts to man.

ZK on February 5, 2012 at 8:37 AM

Allahpundit – ok, I took one for the HA team. and you OWE me. Here’s what happened.

It wasn’t on the order menu so I asked if they had the bacon flavored shake.
“silence” then a covert ‘yes’
I’ll have a small.
I’ll also have a small chocolate shake and a large ice tea unsweetened extra ice
(figured I needed those as PALATE cleansers)
“Is that all?”
(I had the feeling this was a trick question – like was I a secret spy sent only FOR the bacon shake and the other drinks hadn’t fooled them – and I figured since I was going to probably barf I needed something to absorb the bacon shake and starch did that but I needed it plain)
“No, I’ll have your terriyaki bowl” (thinking I could get to the rice at the bottom).
Normally they repeat the order to you but this time the man merely asked if everything was correct on the viewscreen.
“Yes”
‘$13.62″

Pulled around and I saw them as they were about to put whipped cream on TOP of the shake and I said through the drive through window – “NO! No whip cream”
“On either?”
“Right. No whip cream on both”
I noticed a dark spot in the bacon shake as he handed it to me and I asked “Is that real bacon?”
“No, the syrup is just really thick. Would you like me to mix it more?”
“No. That’s ok” (I figured I would point my straw at that Jupiter size bacon storm floating in my ice cream shake and try and suck it out)
I looked at the clock: 12:42

The first thing you notice is the car starts to SMELL in an unpleasant odor. Its neither cooked meat nor a pastry. Its definitely a bacon smell though but its sweet and makes you open all the windows.

I put the straws into the 3 drinks figuring I would need the chasers quickly if this went south in a hurry.

I took 3 pulls from the bacon shake – the first one tasted like ice cream and butter. I moved the straw and got a good taste of bacon flavored ice cream which didn’t taste bad the first time (no after taste) and the third taste was when the stomach/gag factor suddenly kicked in. So I switched to the ice tea and drank that for a while, then switched to the chocolate shake.

Drove around for 10 minutes as I wanted to see if there would be a difference in taste as the ice cream melted and the flavor became stronger.

I got another 3 pulls of bacon flavored ice cream shake down my gullet before I couldn’t take it anymore, had to pull over, and go for the ice tea/rice in the terriyaki bowl or I knew I was going to heave it all out in about 2 minutes.

Those last 3 warmer flavored ones really WERE bacon flavored. When it was cold you couldn’t taste the bacon as much. When it warmed up? The thickness of the syrup had integrated into the melting of the ice cream and formed that scene from the Simpsons where Homer is having a thought bubble where he’s slobbering and saying “bacon” as he’s looking at the pig. It was definitely bacon plus smokey plus sweet.

I used the garbage dumpster at the parking facility where I had pulled into to throw the whole thing away except for the ice tea because of the smells – smokey, sweet, bacon, terriyaki (which I didn’t have – just the white rice at the bottom w/out the sauce and none of the chicken or veggies).

After about a mile the car smelled better, my stomach felt better, I was forgetting about the whole thing as long as I had my JITB ice tea which is the best next to star bucks passion fruit non-sweetened. As soon as I got home I wrote this for you so I wouldn’t forget any of the experience

athenadelphi on February 5, 2012 at 3:45 PM

Jacks in Boxes

osborn4 on February 6, 2012 at 11:40 AM

As promised when I got back to San Diego County I swung by a local Jack’s and had a BLT Cheeseburger, fries and a Bacon Shake.

Most web posts whine about it being obnoxious or something. These aren’t bacon eaters obviously. It’s quite good actually. Torani makes darn good syrup. It’s bacon for sure.

The flavor is more familiar for breakfast than lunch. How you eat breakfast is probably the best indicator whether you’d like the Bacon Shake. Imagine you’ve got a short stack, two eggs sunny-side-up and a side of bacon on a plate. If like me you’d set the eggs and bacon on the pancakes and put maple syrup on the whole stack, well, you’ll like that shake.

BTW, the price was about $8 for the meal and shake.

rcl on February 7, 2012 at 12:39 PM

Comment pages: 1 2