Great news: Roseanne Barr running for president

posted at 8:53 pm on February 2, 2012 by Allahpundit

Try to guess which party’s nomination she’s running for. Hint: She’s a Truther, her core issue is legalizing weed, and she wants to guillotine rich bankers.

No, not the Democratic Party. They don’t support legalizing weed.

“The Democrats and Republicans have proven that they are servants — bought and paid for by the 1% — who are not doing what’s in the best interest of the American people,” Barr said…

Barr has submitted paperwork to the Green Party for her candidacy. The party’s presidential nominee will be selected at a convention in Baltimore in July…

“I will barnstorm American living rooms,” she said in a candidate questionnaire submitted to the Green Party. “Mainstream media will be unable to ignore me, but more importantly they will be unable to overlook the needs of average Americans in the run-up to the 2012 election.”

The bad news: You’re going to have to endure this appearing (very) sporadically on your television for the next nine months. The good news: If Olbermann ever needs a washed-up comedian turned fringe-left demagogue to fill in for Garofalo on those tell-me-what-I-want-to-hear-about-the-right segments, now he’s got the perfect substitute.

Two clips for you here, one of her guillotine remarks on Russia Today, a.k.a. Kremlin TV, and the other of a retired LAPD cop who submitted this clip as his question to Obama in that lame Google+ townhall event a few days ago. Out of more than 133,000 questions submitted, with more than 1.6 million votes cast, this was the second-most popular. There is a market out there for her core issue, although, needless to say, she’s not going anywhere because of it.


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Janine Garofalo in twenty years.

teacherman on February 2, 2012 at 8:55 PM

Sweet Meteor of Death already has my vote, thank you very much!

Punchenko on February 2, 2012 at 8:55 PM

Since she wants to guillotine anyone making over 100 million, I don’t expect too many big money donors. Hey, but who knows.

JellyToast on February 2, 2012 at 8:55 PM

Yawn. she already tried this last time around.

then again i guess her career DID revive somewhat so… mission accomplished

Drunk Report on February 2, 2012 at 8:56 PM

There is a market out there for her core issue, although, needless to say, she’s not going anywhere with it.

Mitt will free the weed!!

JohnGalt23 on February 2, 2012 at 8:57 PM

Sweet Meteor of Death/Gray goo ’12

Punchenko on February 2, 2012 at 8:57 PM

“I will barnstorm American living rooms,”

How would you like that barnstorm coming through your front door.

JellyToast on February 2, 2012 at 8:57 PM

So who will be her running mate ?
Helen Thomas ?
BTW, anyone want a cookie ?

burrata on February 2, 2012 at 8:59 PM

She would grab her crotch and spit after taking the oath of office.

Mark1971 on February 2, 2012 at 9:00 PM

How would you like that barnstorm coming through your front door.

JellyToast on February 2, 2012 at 8:57 PM

Solution: Electric cattle prod.

predator on February 2, 2012 at 9:01 PM

I am glad, we really need new blood in the GOP

neuquenguy on February 2, 2012 at 9:01 PM

The bad news: You’re going to have to endure this appearing (very) sporadically on your television for the next nine months.

O_O

Seven Percent Solution on February 2, 2012 at 9:01 PM

What the hell, I`ll runf or president too!

ThePrez 2012!

ThePrez on February 2, 2012 at 9:01 PM

Will she pay for my gas and my mortgage???

WryTrvllr on February 2, 2012 at 9:01 PM

Janine Garofalo in twenty years. minutes.

teacherman on February 2, 2012 at 8:55 PM

Lanceman on February 2, 2012 at 9:02 PM

My favorite commercial on TV.

hawkdriver on February 2, 2012 at 9:03 PM

Now my front hurts!

Roymunson on February 2, 2012 at 9:03 PM

No comment..:)

Dire Straits on February 2, 2012 at 9:04 PM

Well, this one is actually a little better. I can’t put my finger on exactly why I like it even more.

hawkdriver on February 2, 2012 at 9:05 PM

Now my front hurts!

Roymunson on February 2, 2012 at 9:03 PM

Your ears need to hurt too ;-)
you’re welcome !

burrata on February 2, 2012 at 9:05 PM

I guess she won’t be on the Sugar Prohibition Bandwagon.

SlaveDog on February 2, 2012 at 9:07 PM

Ron Paul endorsment will be forthcoming…

Rogue on February 2, 2012 at 9:07 PM

Janine Garofalo in twenty years.

teacherman on February 2, 2012 at 8:55 PM

OMG. Can you imagine the two of them on a ticket?
Barr/Garofalo

A duo of demented ‘She Devils’.

trish333 on February 2, 2012 at 9:09 PM

Will she pay for my gas and my mortgage???

WryTrvllr on February 2, 2012 at 9:01 PM

We already got that–cell phones and internet, too.

You need to be more creative.

davidk on February 2, 2012 at 9:09 PM

Will she get most of the ABR vote?

neuquenguy on February 2, 2012 at 9:09 PM

burrata on February 2, 2012 at 9:05 PM

Nope! Ain’t gonna do it.

davidk on February 2, 2012 at 9:10 PM

Does it count as being natural-born if she was actually hatched?

Flange on February 2, 2012 at 9:10 PM

Hold it just a minute, I thought she endorsed Mitt?

Bmore on February 2, 2012 at 9:11 PM

Barr/Garofalo

A duo of demented ‘She Devils’.

trish333 on February 2, 2012 at 9:09 PM

Barfalo?

neuquenguy on February 2, 2012 at 9:11 PM

So who will be her running mate ?
Helen Thomas ?
BTW, anyone want a cookie ?

burrata on February 2, 2012 at 8:59 PM

Nice try……..Ron Paul

Couldn’t have a jealous FLOTUS now could we?

antipc on February 2, 2012 at 9:11 PM

Barr/Garofalo

A duo of demented ‘She Devils’.

trish333 on February 2, 2012 at 9:09 PM

Barfalo?

neuquenguy on February 2, 2012 at 9:11 PM

Bwahahahahahahaha! Awesome. I’m laughing so much it hurts.

trish333 on February 2, 2012 at 9:13 PM

hawkdriver on February 2, 2012 at 9:05 PM

Great spot.

Bmore on February 2, 2012 at 9:14 PM

Great! I’m in for $20 for her campaign.

Let her run, and siphon the far-left’s votes away from Teh Won. It will only help the conservative cause.

UltimateBob on February 2, 2012 at 9:15 PM

Will Trump switch his support to her?

listens2glenn on February 2, 2012 at 9:15 PM

Sweet Meteor of Death already has my vote, thank you very much!

Punchenko on February 2, 2012 at 8:55 PM

Oh. You mean you’re voting for Rosanne?

nukemhill on February 2, 2012 at 9:15 PM

Will she pay for my gas and my mortgage???

WryTrvllr on February 2, 2012 at 9:01 PM

We already got that–cell phones and internet, too.

You need to be more creative.

davidk on February 2, 2012 at 9:09 PM

OK

can I please, please, PUHLEASE have a…

defined benefits retirement package? Screw everything else…..

WryTrvllr on February 2, 2012 at 9:16 PM

Finally, a great American hero to vote for.

RickB on February 2, 2012 at 9:16 PM

Go Roseanne!! I can only wish her success in taking away a few votes, if that, from the Dems.

William Eaton on February 2, 2012 at 9:17 PM

Great! I’m in for $20 for her campaign.

Let her run, and siphon the far-left’s votes away from Teh Won. It will only help the conservative cause.

UltimateBob on February 2, 2012 at 9:15 PM

Remember to save a few bucks for Rocky Anderson. He’s running under the ‘Justice Party’ banner in honor of the Occupods.

trish333 on February 2, 2012 at 9:17 PM

Newt on a bad day, in drag.

Philly on February 2, 2012 at 9:17 PM

Can anyone imagine listening to even a millisecond of an acceptance speech if the sow was POTUS.

antipc on February 2, 2012 at 9:18 PM

“I will barnstorm American living rooms,” she said in a candidate questionnaire submitted to the Green Party. “Mainstream media will be unable to ignore me, but more importantly they will be unable to overlook the needs of average Americans in the run-up to the 2012 election.”

You barnstorm my living room, Water Buffalo Babe, you’ll be meeting Messrs. Heckler and Koch or Smith and Wesson, depending on what kind of mood I’m in.

TXUS on February 2, 2012 at 9:19 PM

Well, when the vote is in, we’ll find out how many die-hard pot smokers are in this country. As well as how many people should not be allowed to vote.

GarandFan on February 2, 2012 at 9:19 PM

Will she pay for my gas and my mortgage???

WryTrvllr on February 2, 2012 at 9:01 PM

She’ll dip into her stash for it.

JohnGalt23 on February 2, 2012 at 9:19 PM

Good! Maybe she’ll stay off my island!

Kini on February 2, 2012 at 9:20 PM

Charlie Sheen should be her running mate.

smill1953 on February 2, 2012 at 9:21 PM

Heck, I hope she does very well. Every vote she gets is one less vote for Obama.

WolvenOne on February 2, 2012 at 9:21 PM

Look at me!!…Look at me!!!

Mimzey on February 2, 2012 at 9:22 PM

What is truly sad is she will probably get as many votes as Ron Paul in the general.

pcola71 on February 2, 2012 at 9:22 PM

She’d be better then Obama.

BoxHead1 on February 2, 2012 at 9:23 PM

No, not the Democratic Party. They don’t support legalizing weed.

AP, you are the undisputed master of wry wit.

KS Rex on February 2, 2012 at 9:24 PM

My favorite commercial on TV.

hawkdriver on February 2, 2012 at 9:03 PM

That’s the best thing she’s ever done. I never get tired of seeing it!

Alana on February 2, 2012 at 9:25 PM

Heck, I hope she does very well. Every vote she gets is one less vote for Obama.

WolvenOne on February 2, 2012 at 9:21 PM

My thoughts exactly! “You know who this helps…?”

KS Rex on February 2, 2012 at 9:27 PM

Hahahahahahaha!!

Perfect! It’s Groundhog Day. I guess that means her only campaign commercial will repeat over and over in one big annoying loop.

Thanks for the best laugh I’ve had all day.

PatriotGal2257 on February 2, 2012 at 9:29 PM

TXUS on February 2, 2012 at 9:19 PM

Spoken like a real Texan. : )

listens2glenn on February 2, 2012 at 9:30 PM

Good! Maybe she’ll stay off my island!

Kini on February 2, 2012 at 9:20 PM

Oh, your island?

Your’rrrr a madman!

hawkdriver on February 2, 2012 at 9:32 PM

She’d be better then Obama.
BoxHead1 on February 2, 2012 at 9:23 PM

Obama hasn’t beheaded any rich people yet, has he?

(I’m not counting the body parts on our side of the Mexican border)

listens2glenn on February 2, 2012 at 9:34 PM

She couldn’t do any worse than the imbecile currently in the job.

ghostwriter on February 2, 2012 at 9:37 PM

What is truly sad is she will probably get as many votes as Ron Paul in the general.

pcola71 on February 2, 2012 at 9:22 PM

Not sad at all, this is a good thing! Ron Paul already draws a lot of deadbeat liberals who would otherwise vote for Obama. The queen of “Little Debbie snack cakes” will draw even more deadbeats away from Obama.

BruthaMan on February 2, 2012 at 9:40 PM

Obama hasn’t beheaded any rich people yet, has he?

(I’m not counting the body parts on our side of the Mexican border)

listens2glenn on February 2, 2012 at 9:34 PM

Nope, he just gives them tax payer money for companies doomed to fail, if they are contributors.

BruthaMan on February 2, 2012 at 9:42 PM

Wouldn’t it be awesome if she pulled signifcant votes form Obama? I bet the Occupiers would really like her. Maybe she can use them to campaign for her. They seem compatible on the issues of drug legalization and attacking the wealthy financial sector. If she could get even 1-2% of the vote it would be fantastic!

talkingpoints on February 2, 2012 at 9:45 PM

She looks like a member of the Grateful Dean after a fifty year non-stop tour.

ncjetsfan on February 2, 2012 at 9:47 PM

s/b Grateful Dead.

ncjetsfan on February 2, 2012 at 9:48 PM

Barnstorm my living room, you rectal abcess, and they’ll find your contents splattered on the house across the street by way of 1400 fps hollowpoints.

M240H on February 2, 2012 at 9:54 PM

Not even with your….. !!!!!!

itsspideyman on February 2, 2012 at 10:04 PM

Hallelujah, we’re SAVED, we’re SAVED!!!

(Do I really need a sarc tag?)

The good news? Maybe she’ll pull enough of the nut-job votes away from Obama that he’ll lose by an even bigger margin than previous polls have suggested.

mom29js on February 2, 2012 at 10:04 PM

Roseanne Barr is the penultimate liberal ideal of tolerance, civility, intelligence, and integrity.

She should primary Obama.

tom daschle concerned on February 2, 2012 at 10:07 PM

I can just see the White House adorned with the same hideous furniture and decor she used on the set of her TV show.

Flora Duh on February 2, 2012 at 10:10 PM

The bad news: You’re going to have to endure this appearing (very) sporadically on your television for the next nine months.

That’s why the good Lord made remote controls.

kim roy on February 2, 2012 at 10:10 PM

She is droning, whiny harpie. Reminds me of Debbie Wassermann Dunce.

Philly on February 2, 2012 at 10:13 PM

Well she will take away the some of the crazy votes that would go to Chairman Obama.

The Notorious G.O.P on February 2, 2012 at 10:14 PM

That’s why the good Lord made remote controls.

kim roy on February 2, 2012 at 10:10 PM

I’ll make sure I’m stocked with batteries.

Flora Duh on February 2, 2012 at 10:19 PM

Lawn Gnome Reagan would be more fun as a candidate.

J.E. Dyer on February 2, 2012 at 10:23 PM

She and her “colleagues” should pander campaign for legalized everything: gay marriage, legal MJ, legal coke, legal crack, legal meth, legal stripping anywhere zoned or not, legal huffing, legal Santoria, required dunking booths in winter for fat cat bankers, legal OWS encampments on public land without permitting requirements, legal TEA Party encampments on public land without permitting requirements, on an on ad infinitum. If the sh!tstorm is going to happen, let it begin with her and we can clean house completely and appropriately.
.
Somebody watch the borders for invasions, ‘K?

ExpressoBold on February 2, 2012 at 10:29 PM

One of the negatives about getting older is the resistance to change.

I’m in the midst of that. Everything keeps changing and changing so swiftly.

We have the first black mooslim President, and, Bang! A mere four years later we could have the first cow President.

Roseanne/Helen Thomas 2012! The “teeny-weeny bikini” campaign posters of them will sell like hotcakes!

And campaign song? Made to order by Brian Highland in the early ’60s:

“It was an itsy-bitsy, teeny-weeny yellow polka dot bikini, that
(Insert Roseanne or Helen) wore for the first time today”

Horace on February 2, 2012 at 10:38 PM

Oh great! Another turd in the mix!

GFW on February 2, 2012 at 10:39 PM

Try to guess which party’s nomination she’s running for.

The Ugly Fat Commie B!tch Party?

Dopenstrange on February 2, 2012 at 10:40 PM

The “teeny-weeny bikini” campaign posters of them will sell like hotcakes!

And campaign song? Made to order by Brian Highland in the early ’60s:

“It was an itsy-bitsy, teeny-weeny yellow polka dot bikini, that
(Insert Roseanne or Helen) wore for the first time today”

Horace on February 2, 2012 at 10:38 PM

.
no…. No….. NO…….. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!! My eyes! My eyes!

ExpressoBold on February 2, 2012 at 10:41 PM

She looks like a member of the Grateful Dead after a fifty year non-stop tour.

ncjetsfan on February 2, 2012 at 9:47 PM

She’s Zombie Jerry Garcia! Whoooaaa! That REALLY was some bad acid, Dude!

Horace on February 2, 2012 at 10:42 PM

How would you like that barnstorm coming through your front door.

JellyToast on February 2, 2012 at 8:57 PM

Solution: Electric cattle prod.

predator on February 2, 2012 at 9:01 PM

Build a cattle gate first!

KOOLAID2 on February 2, 2012 at 10:46 PM

Janeane Garafolo in one year.

theaddora on February 2, 2012 at 10:47 PM

All that plastic surgery…and we get Elsie the Cow?
Drink Milk!

KOOLAID2 on February 2, 2012 at 10:50 PM

Will she be singing the National Anthem at her inaguration?

Tony737 on February 2, 2012 at 10:50 PM

Allah, I beg to differ about how Democrats don’t support marijuana. They do. Oh, they do.

http://www.govtrack.us/congress/bill.xpd?bill=h112-2306

Kokonut on February 2, 2012 at 10:53 PM

Can stupid old hags be even more stupid and haggish?

Apparently so.

Wolfmoon on February 2, 2012 at 11:14 PM

she wants to guillotine rich bankers.

Why isn’t Newt seeking her endorsement?

joana on February 2, 2012 at 11:26 PM

That’s why the good Lord made remote controls.

kim roy on February 2, 2012 at 10:10 PM

I’ll make sure I’m stocked with batteries.

Flora Duh on February 2, 2012 at 10:19 PM

We’re going to need lots to fend against the crap that’s coming.

kim roy on February 2, 2012 at 11:33 PM

“I will barnstorm American living rooms,”

By definition, you’d have to be aerodynamic enough for flight first.

PXCharon on February 2, 2012 at 11:41 PM

She’s still alive?

I from personal experience, with the remnants of weed culture living on my couch right now… would ban it forever if I could, from my prospective..

I’ve heard there are folks who can smoke it and still lead productive lives, I just have not seen it. Every weed smoker I know personally is unemployed and plans to stay that way.. working like really sucks man… they all are on the food card, and all sell off part of that, to finance their weed.. I’m watching my sis in law to try and get her away from that,..

I have zero use for the argument it’s harmless, I know.. about 5 people who can’t get around to working, because they’re too busy..
apparently, it’s hard work smokin weed,..

It’s not heroine, but it’s a crutch for too many lazy slackers too. I’ve known drunks who work, but these people?

What the Hell is wrong with them.

mark81150 on February 2, 2012 at 11:53 PM

why not….they let mitt romney run and roseanne has as much credibility as he does

georgealbert on February 3, 2012 at 2:12 AM

I live in a state that would vote Dead Dog (R) over Saint Anthony (D).

Barr may have my vote just to help the Greens get past the 5% mark for federal funding. At least the debates will have a comic relief.

Random Numbers (Brian Epps) on February 3, 2012 at 2:38 AM

mark81150 on February 2, 2012 at 11:53 PM

I know precicely one person who regularly uses the stuff and actually works for a living. He makes so little that he qualifies for food aid, but refuses to take it. The guy is an old hippie of the libertarian bent.

Random Numbers (Brian Epps) on February 3, 2012 at 2:48 AM

Oh, your island?

Your’rrrr a madman!

hawkdriver on February 2, 2012 at 9:32 PM

BWHAHAHAHA!!!!

Kini on February 3, 2012 at 2:52 AM

why not….they let mitt romney run and roseanne has as much credibility as he does

georgealbert on February 3, 2012 at 2:12 AM

Roseanne will have more of a fighting chance than Herb Huntsman ever did.

Myron Falwell on February 3, 2012 at 3:06 AM

I’ll vote for her before I’ll vote for Mitt.

stenwin77 on February 3, 2012 at 5:40 AM

This won’t help Romney much. Even ultra liberals pissed off at Obama will still vote for Obama over this cow. She will take less votes from Obama than Ralph Nader took from Gore 12 years ago.

Dollayo on February 3, 2012 at 6:11 AM

If Rick Perry and Michelle Bachmann can run, anyone can.

KeninCT on February 3, 2012 at 7:17 AM

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