Awww… romance blooms in squalid occupy camps

posted at 3:05 pm on January 10, 2012 by Jazz Shaw

While the occupiers may have completely failed to win over the hearts and minds of the nation with their crisp, well defined message of political and governmental reform, the whole exercise may not have been for naught. While the trash and urine covered encampments have not proved to be fertile ground for much in the way of policy reform, that’s not to say that nothing can grow there. Ah… love blooms even in the rockiest of soil. We take you now to Occupy D.C.

As the Occupy movement enters its fourth month locally, it has spawned two full-service camps, more than 100 arrests and an ongoing constitutional debate over the right to free speech on federal land. But a combustible combination of youthful energy, enthusiasm for shared ideals and tight living quarters has given rise to something else: Romance. Lots and lots of romance.

More than a dozen couples have emerged after three months of outdoor living, including one pair who got engaged over the holidays. As with Occupy encampments on Wall Street and across the country, there have been many more casual hook-ups, bruised hearts and unofficial entanglements.

The story focuses initially on one “camp medic” (medical degree not specified) and his unnamed, blond girlfriend who, the article declares, displays “a long stretch of taut midriff underneath what could only loosely be described as a sweater.” They met, it seems, while he was performing his usual camp medic duties, which apparently focus on “routinely handing out condoms” as well as “pregnancy tests — at least one of which has come back positive.”

But the following direct quote may sum up the success of the occupy movement in one fell swoop.

“You can’t spell ‘revolution’ without ‘love,’ ” said Michael Patterson, a 21-year-old protester who had a brief romantic involvement with another Occupier in the fall.

A “brief romantic involvement?” I don’t suppose you mean… no, probably not. But look on the bright side… things are really turnout to be boom times for rats.

The rat population around the two Occupy D.C. camps at McPherson Square and Freedom Plaza has “exploded”since protesters began their vigil in October, according to Mohammad N. Akhter, the director of the District’s Department of Health.

Akhter said in an interview Monday that city health inspectors have seen rats running openly through both camps and spotted numerous new burrows and nests underneath hay-stuffed pallets occupiers are using for beds. Both campsites had working kitchens for weeks until last week, but protesters at McPherson Square voluntarily closed down theirs after health inspectors pointed out unsanitary conditions during an informal monitoring visit.

Coming up next… rat marriages!

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Comment pages: 1 2

A mature female rat can have a litter every 28 days. Washington, D.C. being on low swampy ground is ideal for rats. With a dependable food source, the population naturaly soars.

There is every opportunity for a serious outbreak of disease down there.

Time and past time for those idiots to go home.

Spots the Dog on January 11, 2012 at 6:22 AM

…have seen rats running openly through both camps

The nerve of some rats!

petefrt on January 11, 2012 at 7:49 AM

It’s good to see that the schoolyard hate is strong on both sides.

ernesto on January 10, 2012 at 5:02 PM

ernesto appears to be upset cuz he didn’t get any at OWS….

dentarthurdent on January 11, 2012 at 12:35 PM

Comment pages: 1 2