Tis the season for predictions

posted at 4:00 pm on December 31, 2011 by Jazz Shaw

No end of the year political shindig would be complete without pundits and prophets gazing into the chicken entrails and letting us know what we should expect in the year to come. Given the fact that we so rarely see end of the year, “Look how well I did last December” articles, you might not want to invest too heavily based on these. But a quick look around should provide us with some amusement if nothing else.

Over at The Sun Journal in Maine
, self styled psychic Vicki Monroe was asked to take a crack at the task. Vicki is described as someone who, “has been seeing spirits for most of her life. She ignored them for years, until one day she embraced her psychic side.” Her thoughts:

* Obama will win re-election. Others won’t.

“They’re saying in the election what’s going to surprise many is that a lot of those Republicans that were voted in … will be voted out,” Monroe said.

* The American economy will improve, and job security will increase.

* Moods will improve, both nationally and worldwide.

“Everything is going to change. Basically on a global scale we will start looking at things in a positive way,” Monroe said. “What the Mayans said as the end of the world is the end of the world as (far as) nations having to beat each other (to be) No. 1.”

So… OK then! Moving along, we have Kara Miller at the Boston Globe checking in. She takes a different approach, predicting that Mitt Romney will win not only the GOP nomination, but the presidency. And then she provides the mechanism for how he defeats Obama, which is where things get a little weird.

Massachusetts will become the central issue in the 2012 campaign. Not to be parochial (OK, maybe a little), I believe that this state will prove to be Romney’s greatest hurdle and greatest asset.

Right now, Massachusetts health care features prominently in Republican attacks on Romney, but if the former Governor can nab the nomination, his Massachusetts experience could prove to be a tremendous strength. (“I know how to get both sides of the aisle to work together; heck, I was governor of Massachusetts!”)

Wouldn’t it be ironic if Massachusetts propelled Mitt Romney to the presidency? I wouldn’t rule it out.

So… that happened. James Poulos checks in at The Daily Caller with some tongue in cheek predictions. He too feels that Mitt Romney will be the nominee and the next president, but his foresight about the VP nominee may come as a shock.

In a surprise, Romney will turn for his running mate to David Petraeus, and Petraeus will accept. Obama’s foreign policy advantage will be gone. Panic over the stunning whiteness and maleness of the ticket will prove misguided; in every other way Petraeus is everything Romney is not. Marco Rubio makes Republicans feel great about themselves, but Petraeus will make Americans feel like the adult has finally walked into the room. The day the first Romney/Petraeus bumper stickers go out will be the last time anyone ever mentions Condoleezza Rice.

Back to the other side of the aisle, The Daily Beast has a collection of prognosticators offering up their vision of things to come. We’ll start with a couple items from Michael Tomasky:

3. Bashar al-Assad will fall. The Free Syrian Army will march triumphantly into Damascus in March. More incredibly still, everything will go swimmingly! Syria will become a more-or-less functioning democracy within the year. Hizbullah members will start cashing in their 401K’s.

5. The Supreme Court will uphold the Affordable Care Act on a 5-4 vote, but here’s the twist: Kennedy will vote against it, and Scalia will vote for it! Scalia’s vote to uphold, consistent with his previous commerce-clause thinking, will mute a lot of the howling, and health care won’t be much of a campaign issue.

9. Obama wins reelection fairly easily; Democrats hold the Senate, Republicans hold the House, but the margins of majority narrow in both chambers.

And these stunners from Paul Begala:

1. Herman Cain will get a contract with Fox News Channel. Rick Santorum and Newt Gingrich will not.

2. A third-party candidate will get more than 7 percent of the popular vote for president.

3. John Boehner will be toppled from his post as speaker before the 2012 elections.

4. Democrats will re-take the House, hold the Senate and Obama will be reelected; a stunning rebuke of the Tea Party.

There’s more at each of the links, so have fun with them. And since I don’t suffer from the curse of embarrassment when proven wrong, (it wears off after a few decades of being so wrong so often) allow me to pitch a few of my own. (Some serious, some not so much.) Feel free to add yours.

1. Mitt Romney effectively wraps up the nomination by the second week in February. All across America, millions of Republicans and conservatives shuffle their feet and mumble something about how everyone always knew it was going to happen and try to drink enough to forget the other candidates they backed. In an ironic twist, the sudden surge in alcohol sales provides a jolt to the economy, lowering unemployment by two tenths of a percent and boosting Obama’s approval rating back to 48%.

2. Mitt selects Marco Rubio as his running mate and goes on to be elected President of the United States. But it’s a much closer election than many think, nearly as close as the 2000 race, and comes down to the final vote count in Ohio. We don’t find out the eventual winner until it is decided by the Supreme Court. Unable to bear the specter of reliving the nightmare all over again, Senator Al Franken falls into a fit of despair, flies to Cleveland and sets himself on fire like that fruit vendor guy who started the Arab Spring.

3. The GOP takes the majority in the Senate, but don’t come anywhere near 60 seats so the chamber remains effectively deadlocked. They retain control of the House, but the DNC runs a devastatingly effective mediscare campaign in close districts across the nation and pick up a number of seats. The closely divided House includes a number of moderate Republicans, meaning that President Romney doesn’t have any sort of free glide path to implement whatever he wants. Gridlock continues and the popularity of Congress finally reaches the statistical margin of error at 3%.

4. John Boehner retains his speakership to the annoyance of pundits everywhere who predicted that Eric Cantor would have put a lethal dose of Ex-Lax in his chocolate Easter Bunny by then. In an unrelated story, Nancy Pelosi misses several weeks of the Spring session due to uncontrollable diarrhea.

5. Twenty years too late, in March, we finally get cost effective, mass produced flying cars. Unfortunately, the TSA immediately places so many restrictions on getting into one that most people throw up their hands in frustration and go back to driving their SUVs. A few finally do get hold of them by August, though. The following day the GEICO Gecko is killed while filming their first flying car insurance advertisement when the AFLAC duck gets sucked into his car’s engine. Ironically, the flaming wreckage crashes into the State Farm HQ building, burning it to the ground. Conspiracy theories mount when a YouTube video of the incident shows that annoying woman named Flo from Progressive’s ads chuckling evilly near the crash site.

6. New, stricter immigration laws survive all court challenges and go into effect in every state which passed them. In a related story, McDonald’s moves the Big Mac to the dollar menu. Unless you want it with tomato. In which case it’s $11.99

7. Yet another Must-Have smart phone will be released… precisely two days after you finally break down and buy the current one. It incorporates all the functions of the Kindle so you can now read books on it as well. Related: Chris Matthews writes yet another book which none of you download to the new device and virtually nobody reads outside of his immediate family and the staff at MSNBC.

8. Some areas of the Earth will experience dramatic, violent weather, immediately prompting Al Gore to make millions of additional dollars. A series of violent tornadoes surprise everyone by occurring in a place known as “Tornado Ally” which are then blamed on the Keystone XL pipeline, even though construction has still not begun on it. Obama immediately cancels Keystone XL yet again, gaining a three point bump in popularity among self described “Eco-warriors.”

9. The date of the Mayan apocalypse in December will come and go. The families of suicide cult members will scramble to think up less embarrassing things to write on their grave markers. Unlike Harold Camping, however, the Mayans do not reappear to move the date back to March of 2013.

10. Hot Air will hire Rick Perry as a guest blogger after changing its name officially to Hot Gas, and remains the most highly trafficked, popular conservative blog on the planet.

UPDATE: Doug Mataconis tosses in his own predictions for 2012 in a far more serious nature. A few of the more provocative offerings:

Mitt Romney will select Virginia Governor Bob McDonnell as his Vice-Presidential running mate, although much of the pre-convention press coverage will involve speculation about Chris Christie

Chris Christie will be the keynote speaker at the Republican National Convention

The Supreme Court will strike down Arizona’s immigration law

Jon Corzine will be indicted for activities related to the collapse of MF Global

There will be no indictments, resignations, or attempts at impeachment related to the “Fast & Furious” scandal

Tensions in the Persian Gulf will increase, with at least one incident involving exchanges of fire between an American naval vessel and Iranian forces

Of course, Doug also picks the Packers to win the Superbowl, so it’s probably all a load of Dingo’s kidneys.


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Obamacare in its entirety is struck down by the supreme court in June. Romney claims victory for federalism.

El_Terrible on December 31, 2011 at 4:04 PM

Obama’s foreign policy advantage will be gone.

What foreign policy advantage?
His foreign policy is disastrous.
http://www.jpost.com/Opinion/Columnists/Article.aspx?id=251505

itsnotaboutme on December 31, 2011 at 4:05 PM

I predict that they’ll be a flood somewhere. Lots of water.

And an earthquake.

Perhaps both.

Yeah, I’m lousy at these so I play it real safe.

Actually, I hope I’m wrong again.

SteveMG on December 31, 2011 at 4:05 PM

So! Where do we shovel the sh!t?!

KOOLAID2 on December 31, 2011 at 4:06 PM

Obama will lose.

Blue-chip stocks will shoot up on the news.

The Republicans will piss it all away between 2012 and 2014.

I’m playing it safe.

gryphon202 on December 31, 2011 at 4:07 PM

You’re generous thinking romney will win ed. Marco Rubio already said he wont be vice prsident anyway

Flapjackmaka on December 31, 2011 at 4:07 PM

So! Where do we shovel the sh!t?!

KOOLAID2 on December 31, 2011 at 4:06 PM

Right into the Potomac.

gryphon202 on December 31, 2011 at 4:08 PM

Obama’s foreign policy advantage will be gone.

The President has repeatedly insulted the US’s best ally, Great Britain (& I don’t even consider him twice recently referring to “the English embassy” as an insult), as well as outrageously opposed their interests (i.e., the Faulklands).
Obama has hurt our relations with other allies, too: He has betrayed Poland, Israel, Canada, Georgia, & Honduras. Those are the ones that come to mind; I’m sure there are others.
The best example of a true “Arab Spring” was in Iran, & Obama turned a deaf ear (except for a mild statement weeks too late) to the throngs of freedom seekers who were brutally repressed. But when US ally Mubarak was opposed in Egypt (& there was no govt oppression of the crowds), Obama jumped on that bandwagon like a kid on a merry-go-round. Now Islamo-fascists have largely taken over there. In Libya, Obama took the US to war unconstitutionally–Congress had no say–but Obama was careful to get permission from the corrupt UN. And the Islamo-fascists have apparently largely taken over there.
Obama’s foreign policy is an albatross around his neck…if we play the cards right.

itsnotaboutme on December 31, 2011 at 4:08 PM

Taxes go up across the board as the payroll tax cut and the Bush tax cuts expire and congress remains gridlocked.

El_Terrible on December 31, 2011 at 4:08 PM

Let it be noted that no one is second guessing me.

Harumph, harumph….

SteveMG on December 31, 2011 at 4:09 PM

Republicans win the White House 337-201 EVs.

El_Terrible on December 31, 2011 at 4:10 PM

You’re generous thinking romney will win ed. Marco Rubio already said he wont be vice prsident anyway

Flapjackmaka on December 31, 2011 at 4:07 PM

Ed? It’s Jazz Shaw.
Rubio? Everyone denies before accepting.

itsnotaboutme on December 31, 2011 at 4:10 PM

Fidel Castro will pass away. A Cuban protest movement starts.

El_Terrible on December 31, 2011 at 4:12 PM

I predict that VegasRick will buy more ammo and canned food.

VegasRick on December 31, 2011 at 4:13 PM

The Gingrich/Romney ticket wins the election in November 2012. The Senate is a 50-50 split. The House remains Republican.

Phil Byler on December 31, 2011 at 4:15 PM

Ed? It’s Jazz Shaw.
Rubio? Everyone denies before accepting.

Oh my bad, jazz. No, not everyone denies. They give vague statements about keeping their options open. Rubio has stated multiple times he wont be vp. Its an insult to him too as he would simply be window dressing. Someone with accomplishments should be vp to accompany romneys non accomplishments

Flapjackmaka on December 31, 2011 at 4:15 PM

There will be no elections in 2012

burrata on December 31, 2011 at 4:15 PM

Even a crystal ball is no match for 2012.

Speakup on December 31, 2011 at 4:15 PM

I predict that Ron Paul attends Rabbinical school, moves to Israel and becomes a Mohel.

V7_Sport on December 31, 2011 at 4:16 PM

Ron Paul will win the presidency but the governors on the Federal Reserve will kidnap him and he’ll be dropped into a giant vat of molten gold.

There, something for the Paul supporters to look forward to and something for his opponents to look forward to.

I giveth with one hand and taketh away with the other.

SteveMG on December 31, 2011 at 4:16 PM

Albert Pujols will hit for an average of .210 for the Angels for the next 10 years.

a capella on December 31, 2011 at 4:18 PM

that annoying woman named Flo from Progressive’s ads

The highlight of your witty essay, Jazz!
I’ve been puzzled too often by claims that those ads are cute or funny. They. Are. Annoying.

itsnotaboutme on December 31, 2011 at 4:18 PM

Predictions?

- The EU as we have come to know it falls apart on economics, National currencies return and no one knows what to do with the debt of the EU.

- China’s building boom, already sputtering, collapses. Inflation which has been officially non-existent but present, becomes present and the leadership starts to realize that they are not wanted. Without their leading trading partner or the EU to help, China begins the process of implosion as its bills and old debt come due and its internal crony debt structure collapses.

- No US economic recovery can happen without some major exprot recovery. With either the EU or China no longer able to afford imports, the US economy continues its tailspin.

- Total number of jobs in the US does not recover, inflation soars in the US and no spending solution will be accepted by either D or R party members in Congress. Obama will not win re-election, the D’s will face large scale problems not just in the House and Senate but in the States due to redistricting. The R party will also face large-scale problems due to the inability of its leadership to understand that the old Progressive system is dead.

- The next Baktun cycle starts without fanfare as the Mayans predicted. Egg gets spattered on lots of faces of doomsayers.

- Global Warming disappears from media due to the lack of jobs in the EU, US and China. Without tax income you can’t run global warming conferences, thus they will not happen.

- The first major Nation to realize it can liquidate debt via warfare will kick off the next major global conflict, much to the consternation of the global elite and bankers who expected to cash-in on global collapse.

- Everyone will be dissatisfied with the next US Presidential pick, but no one will bewail the lack of Obama in the oval office in 2013.

After that things really get nasty.

I’m prepared to last out until 2014. I hope all of you are prepared to do the same.

What? Good news? Hmmm… private space flight sparks the next major spurt of reindustrialization and within a decade cheap spaceflight will lead to the colonization of space to get a new industrial basis up and running that isn’t under the thumb of any Nation.

ajacksonian on December 31, 2011 at 4:19 PM

The New Orleans Saints will win the Super Bowl.

El_Terrible on December 31, 2011 at 4:19 PM

When the OWS crowd finally realizes that nobody is going to give away their hard earned money to them, their think tank will concoct the masterful plan of eating their own children in public.

NapaConservative on December 31, 2011 at 4:20 PM

Jazz, about #5. You are watching too many commercials. Will somebody buy this writer a TIVO?

NaCly dog on December 31, 2011 at 4:21 PM

I predict bho will get past the 90 games of golf he now has and it gets up to 250 for his four years. I predict bho only spends a total of two months in the wh, he will be on AF1 raising money, campaigning, and slamming all who pay taxes. I predict bho has his face on the tube every single day in 2012. I predict I will not watch bho and mute him. I predict my view of bho or mo will not go up at all.
L

letget on December 31, 2011 at 4:21 PM

The Chevy Volt is cancelled.

El_Terrible on December 31, 2011 at 4:21 PM

Ron Paul will win the presidency but the governors on the Federal Reserve will kidnap him and he’ll be dropped into a giant vat of molten gold.

SteveMG on December 31, 2011 at 4:16 PM

Paul is, symbolically, The Ring Of Power. The Federal Reserve–or F.R.O.D.O. (Federal Reserve Of Doom Organization)–will drop him into the blaze to reverse the curse he has brought to the GOP by interfering with our presidential campaigns every four years since 1958.

itsnotaboutme on December 31, 2011 at 4:22 PM

1. Romney comes in first in Iowa, NH, and steamrolls everyone else for the nomination.

2. Libertardians drinking the Alex Jones kool-aid will find a crackpot to rally behind for president, Paul or no Paul.

3. Romney loses to Obama in November by a 52-46-2 margin. Despite an anemic economy, Obama paints himself as Main Street fighting against Wall Street/Romney, and more people than not are persuaded. The campaign will not be about issues, but about personal stuff, like how much Romney makes in capital gains and how unfair it is, etc. etc.

4. The Republicans retain the House after losing 10-15 members, and barely regain control over the Senate.

(Of course, external events can skew all of this. If Obama takes out the trash in Iran, the Democrats will have a shot at both houses, while if Europe goes down the toilet and takes us with them, Romney has a legit shot at winning.)

JHB on December 31, 2011 at 4:23 PM

Michele Bachmann selects Bob McDonnell as her VP.

El_Terrible on December 31, 2011 at 4:24 PM

10. Hot Air will hire Rick Perry as a guest blogger after changing its name officially to Hot Gas, and remains the most highly trafficked, popular conservative blog on the planet.

A happy New Year to all the bloggers here at Hot Gas.

And thanks for the predictions, Jazz.

WhatNot on December 31, 2011 at 4:24 PM

I predict that neither Obama nor Romney will be the next President of the US of A.

FloatingRock on December 31, 2011 at 4:24 PM

My predictions:

1. New EPA regulations will make passing gas illegal. However, in the case of Larry the Cable Guy v. Vermont, the Supreme Court will rule that the First Amendment gives comdians a free speech right to make jokes about farting.

2. The Three Stooges movie will be seen by 20 million people. None will be female.

3. Obama will lose reelection. The liberals on the north side of Chicago won’t care, however, because Theo Epstein will work his magic in his first year as Cubs GM and the week before Obama goes down to defeat, the franchise will win the World Series for the first time in over a century. The New York Times speculates that one reason for Obama’s defeat is that his north side supporters are still hungover from celebrating come election day, thus they all forget to go to the polls.

4.MSNBC’s ratings will fall so badly they replace Chris Matthews with Kim Kardashian. Ratings still don’t improve. They make Kim do the program in a bikini. Still no ratings. Finally they agree to shut down operations.

5. The economy improves slightly, allowing one blogger at Media Matters to move out of his mother’s basement and get a real job.

radjah shelduck on December 31, 2011 at 4:25 PM

Someone with accomplishments should be vp to accompany romneys non accomplishments

Flapjackmaka on December 31, 2011 at 4:15 PM

Romney will run on his accomplishments, as Kara Miller of the Boston Globe wrote in the quote above.
Jindal is far more accomplished than Rubio.

itsnotaboutme on December 31, 2011 at 4:25 PM

The US will withdraw its funding for the UN and the UN building in NY will be turned into a multi-story Chucky Cheese.

NapaConservative on December 31, 2011 at 4:26 PM

Unemployment on election day will be 8.7% or higher.
If Paul is the nominee, obama will win. However, still think Paul will win Iowa next week.
GOP gains 5-10 seats in House, and gain 5-7 seats in Senate.
A woman or minority will be the VP nominee.
Biden will continue to say stupid stuff that the media ignores.

ConservativePartyNow on December 31, 2011 at 4:27 PM

1. The OWS protests will get much more violent.

2. Someone in Dog Thresher Creek, Oklahoma who once thought about becoming a journalist will remember that there was once this movement called the Tea Party, after which he’ll go back to whatever he was doing.

3. There will be massive voter fraud in the 2012 election. Whatever anyone does about it won’t make a difference in the outcome.

4. Romney will get the nomination. Obama will win in 2012. Then Obama will pull out all the stops. When he’s not golfing, partying, or vacationing, that is.

5. Nancy Pelosi will pass a kidney stone so she can find out what’s in it.

6. Iran will get or develop a nuclear weapon. Obama will pretend not to notice, like he did when the people of Iran attempted a revolt. If Iran nukes Israel, Obama will continue to pretend not to notice.

7. Eric Holder will not cough up the information demanded by Issa. Eric Holder will not resign, nor will he be forced to resign.

8. Obama will commit hundreds of gaffes on par with “57 states”, “speak Austrian”, etc. Most of the media, including Fox, will pretend not to notice.

The Rogue Tomato on December 31, 2011 at 4:28 PM

I predict that Ron Paul attends Rabbinical school, moves to Israel and becomes a Mohel.

V7_Sport on December 31, 2011 at 4:16 PM

Speaking of mohels…

An Englishman in New York City stopped at a window in the middle of which stood–a clock.

The Englishman went in. “Hel-lo!” he sang out.

From behind a curtain stepped a bearded man in a skullcap.

“Would you inspect this watch?” the Englishman said. The Englishman worked at the strap. “Tell me whether it needs—”

“Why are you asking me?” asked the bearded man. “I don’t fix watches. I’m a mohel.”

“A what?”

“A mohel, I perform circumcisions.”

“Good Lord!” exclaimed the Englishman. “But why do you have a clock in your window?”

“Mister,” sighed the mohel, “what would you put in the window?”

h/t Leo Rosten, “The Joys of Yinglish”

Throat Wobbler Mangrove on December 31, 2011 at 4:28 PM

Obama boots Biden from the ticket and replaces him with Hillary and wins in a landslide.

KY Jelly stock skyrockets.

JPeterman on December 31, 2011 at 4:28 PM

Romney will win in 2012. Big. The Obamas will steal White House china, silver, furniture, artwork on their way out– just like the Clintons did.

Rational Thought on December 31, 2011 at 4:29 PM

John Boehner will be toppled from his post as speaker before the 2012 elections.

I sure friggin’ hope so.

Tim_CA on December 31, 2011 at 4:29 PM

If any two of her predictions come true then I’ll eat my hat.
I say two because the one that might come true is Obamugabe winning and that is only because of kooks like her.

esnap on December 31, 2011 at 4:30 PM

I’m predicting that Obama will start buying lottery tickets with tax dollars as an attempt to help balance the budget.

His strategy appeals to the masses who buy lottery tickets for the same reason in their lives, oblivious to the actual probabilities.

And so once again a bunch of losers but the loser back in office, prompting a variety of people to “Go Galt” and move to the mountains and a log cabin.

ProfShadow on December 31, 2011 at 4:30 PM

My predictions:

Mitt Romney chooses Matt Romney as his running mate.

Romney/Romney goes on to win the WH in an epic 50-state landslide.

GOP changes name to the Rommunist People’s Party.

Mandates galore enacted.

Chris Christies gain an extra 100 lbs and becomes a notorious space gangster on the planet Tatooine.

Dr. Bachmann moves his practice to a seedy NJ truck stop restroom. Scores upon scores of gay men “converted” while Dr. Bachmann rakes in billions of dollars (among other activities.)

America becomes MA, goes bankrupt, and California is co-opted by China.

Rick Santorum promoted to High Commissioner on Family Values and takes down Dr. Bachmann and his criminal truck stop restroom empire.

Chinese invade US with the help of a disgruntled Newt Gingrich. Freddie Mac sends in scores of reserve troops to occupy D.C. and halt production of Romney & Son’s Own hair products.

Romney/Romney defeat the Chinese and their helper, Newt Gingrich.

Mitt and Matt rule the galaxy as father and son.

10,000 years of peace is ushered in.

Romney 2012

Punchenko on December 31, 2011 at 4:30 PM

that’s “put the loser back in office” ….

ProfShadow on December 31, 2011 at 4:31 PM

If I was any good at prediction, I would be at the casino instead of here, lol.

txdonboy on December 31, 2011 at 4:31 PM

Big Macs don’t have tomatoes.

Rose on December 31, 2011 at 4:33 PM

I also think there is a good chance for a “limited kinetic action” somewhere in the Middle East prior to the November election as an attempt at an Obama October Surprise….

ProfShadow on December 31, 2011 at 4:34 PM

Romney will run on his accomplishments

Obamacare?

Flapjackmaka on December 31, 2011 at 4:34 PM

Chinese invade US with the help of a disgruntled Newt Gingrich. Freddie Mac sends in scores of reserve troops to occupy D.C. and halt production of Romney & Son’s Own hair products.

Punchenko on December 31, 2011 at 4:30 PM

killin’ me!

Tim_CA on December 31, 2011 at 4:35 PM

Ron Paul will get beamed back to the home planet, the rest of us will get an anal probe, umm.. I mean tax audit.

Laura in Maryland on December 31, 2011 at 4:36 PM

Big Macs don’t have tomatoes.

Rose on December 31, 2011 at 4:33 PM

Hi Rose…

I bet for $10.99 you can get a tomato on it ; )

But yep…you want a tomato, get a BK Whopper.

Just avoid the D.C. Whopper…it claims to come with everything you could ever want, but is surprising unfulfilling..

ProfShadow on December 31, 2011 at 4:36 PM

ProfShadow on December 31, 2011 at 4:30 PM

Yup.
Lottery = A tax on people who are awful at math.

itsnotaboutme on December 31, 2011 at 4:37 PM

Romney will win in 2012. Big. The Obamas will steal White House china, silver, furniture, artwork on their way out– just like the Clintons did.

Rational Thought on December 31, 2011 at 4:29 PM

Sticking with safe predictions, huh? OK.

itsnotaboutme on December 31, 2011 at 4:39 PM

A woman or minority will be the VP nominee.

ConservativePartyNow on December 31, 2011 at 4:27 PM

For Romney or Obama?

If Romney, I’d narrow your prediction down to Jindal.

itsnotaboutme on December 31, 2011 at 4:42 PM

Regardless of who the nominee turns out to be, the Republicans will find a way, by hook or crook, to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory.

MissMagnolia on December 31, 2011 at 4:43 PM

I predict bho will get past the 90 games of golf he now has and it gets up to 250 for his four years.

letget on December 31, 2011 at 4:21 PM

Because when he loses to Romney/Jindal, he will spend the next 8 weeks in Hawaii playing golf.

itsnotaboutme on December 31, 2011 at 4:44 PM

The resurgence of polyester pantsuits, unshaven body hair, 8 track and CB radios is upon us.

Fletch54 on December 31, 2011 at 4:47 PM

Most intriguing outcome for me……

Obama wins a second term and can do whatever the hell he wants combined with a House and Senate in Republican control. Keep in mind this is the likely outcome of the 2012 elections.

A term-limited Obama confronting a co-equal branch of government would be fascinating to watch.

Happy Nomad on December 31, 2011 at 4:50 PM

Anybody remember Jean Dixon? She always had predictions every year and at the end of the year, you’d hear about some prediction or another of hers that came true.

Years later I read how all of these psychics made hundreds of predictions every year and then they’d be celebrated for the one or two that sort of came true.

JellyToast on December 31, 2011 at 4:51 PM

Romney gets the nomination and then all of a sudden, as if by an amazing coincidence, America gets media story after story that Mormonism is a sinister and dangerous cult.

jjshaka on December 31, 2011 at 4:51 PM

1. Obama defeats Romney 50%-48% in PV; wins EV with 286.

2. GOP holds House, win Senate with 51 seats.

3. Dead Pool – Chavez & Rolling Stone Charlie Watts.

4. Live to 100 – Castro and Rolling Stone Kieth Richards.

5. Terrorist attacks in Paris and Berlin. (Damned Lutherans again!)

6. Romney picks T-Paw for VP. (see #1).

Bruno Strozek on December 31, 2011 at 4:52 PM

The dems will insert a third party candidate into the race that will siphon off enough votes for BHO to win. I can’t tell you what will happen after 2012, since this thread is only about 2012 predictions. I can tell you that what happens after 2012 will NOT be good…but you all knew that.

Norky on December 31, 2011 at 4:59 PM

Hot Air will hire Rick Perry as a guest blogger after changing its name officially to Hot Gas, and remains the most highly trafficked, popular conservative blog on the planet.

Happy New Year HoT GaS/Hot Air..

PS: I’d like to know where you get your nielson ratings that make you the top site. I can’t find anything. Maybe you can update with a link to prove your superiority? Thanks.

athenadelphi on December 31, 2011 at 5:02 PM

7. Yet another Must-Have smart phone will be released… precisely two days after you finally break down and buy the current one. It incorporates all the functions of the Kindle so you can now read books on it as well.

?? The iPhone already has a Kindle app. I’ve been reading books on mine for a couple of years now.

Oldnuke on December 31, 2011 at 5:04 PM

My Predictions: I buy more guns and lots and lots of ammo. If Obama is reelected I by more guns and lots and lots of ammo. They are worth more then gold when all the good stuff is banned thanks to our virtuous El Presidente.

Gatekeeper on December 31, 2011 at 5:07 PM

Who cares about politics
Flying cars guys
Woohoo!!!!!!!!!!

angrymike on December 31, 2011 at 5:08 PM

The Chicago Cubbies are gonna win the 2012 WS.
This. Is. Our. Year.
Don’t you mock me neither.
grrrr.

annoyinglittletwerp on December 31, 2011 at 5:08 PM

Chris Matthews will be put in a straight jacket while weeping and drooling after he learns of Obama’s defeat.

50sGuy on December 31, 2011 at 5:09 PM

The New Orleans Saints will win the Super Bowl.

El_Terrible on December 31, 2011 at 4:19 PM

In overtime, against the AFC Champion New England Patriots.

The difference will be that Tom Brady’s non throwing arm will not heal completely enough to enable him to win one final playoff game.

Drew Brees NFL MVP.

Del Dolemonte on December 31, 2011 at 5:14 PM

What the Mayans said as the end of the world is the end of the world as (far as) nations having to beat each other (to be) No. 1.”

I love these predictions predicated upon a notion by a society that couldn’t predict the date of its own demise!

Big Macs don’t have tomatoes.

Rose on December 31, 2011 at 4:33 PM

Sing it with me, Rose!

Twowholebeefpattiesspecialsaucelettucecheesepicklesonionsonasesameseedbun!

turfmann on December 31, 2011 at 5:15 PM

The Three Stooges movie will be seen by 20 million people. None will be female.

Count that one out, because this female is going. I just saw the preview and it looks well done. I am a huge Stooge fan!

melle1228 on December 31, 2011 at 5:16 PM

Ron Paul will get beamed back to the home planet, the rest of us will get an anal probe, umm.. I mean tax audit.

Laura in Maryland on December 31, 2011 at 4:36 PM

If you want to play that game then Romney will get transported back in time to 1920′s Italy.

CurpliTium on December 31, 2011 at 5:16 PM

Romney wins with Bob Mcdonnell as VP.53/44/3
GOP takes Senate 60/39/1
GOP House adds 20 seats.
Supreme Court votes down Obamacare…
Nancy Pelosi retires…
West becomes House Speaker…
Rubio leads the Senate…

HEY, I’M AN OPTIMIST!!!!!!

Happy New Year All!

Barred on December 31, 2011 at 5:17 PM

Ok, here’s my prediction for 2012.

Obama is crushed in the 2012 election by Ron Paul. In a fit of depression attempts to join the French Foreign Legion but backs out when he discovers that he’ll have to carry a scary looking gun and learn a foreign language. Members of the FFL point at him and laugh. Ashamed to be seen with him Michelle kicks him out of the house and Rahm Emmanuel suggests that he never come to Chicago again. Tony Rezko gets out of jail and immediately enlists him in a new even better real estate deal which goes belly up leaving him penniless. Distraught he takes up residence under a bridge in Minnesota and begins a new career panhandling for beer money. Finally landing in a job he’s qualified for finds inner peace and happiness. Valerie Jarrett writes a new tell all book where she reveals that Barrack was never very good at golf and cheated on his score. Announces her candidacy for president in the next election. Says she has experience since she’s been running things in the White House anyway.

Oldnuke on December 31, 2011 at 5:18 PM

John Huntsman wins using a strategy of insulting the voters!

melle1228 on December 31, 2011 at 5:19 PM

10. Hot Air will hire Rick Perry as a guest blogger after changing its name officially to Hot Gas, and remains the most highly trafficked, popular conservative blog on the planet.

Romney, after locking up the GOP nomination, will say, “You know who this helps?” while winking on national TV and the worth of Hot Gas will skyrocket, allowing AP’s kitties to eat salmon for the rest of their furry little lives.

pookysgirl on December 31, 2011 at 5:19 PM

I like the three stooges.

Rose on December 31, 2011 at 5:21 PM

Predictions:

Jimmy Carter will revive his “Lust in my heart” gaffe by stumping for Obama accompanied by buxom ‘nurses‘ he hired after seeing them in a Bud Light commercial.

Former OWS protesters will found a new religion called Whatever, Dude which will collapse after their No Leader tries to implement a draconian ‘Bathe & Brush Teeth’ policy.

Carrot Top will run for President under the independent “ClownMe Party”, battling for the win by entertaining voters with zany prop comedy, then doubling the fun with his brilliant VP choice, Gallagher, and Sec. of State nominee, Justin Bieber (who I hear makes dandy balloon animals).

A new diet drug will take the U.S. by storm, then be discredited because of using actual photos of Oliver Hardy and Stan Laurel in their “Before” and “After” advertising.

Swing States will use actual SWINGS to choose their nominees. Whoever flies highest, disembarks mid-air, shows sufficient hang-time, and lands on their feet wins all delegates.

Every negative TV ad will end with the candidate stating who they are and that they “approved this message” while sitting on a potty chair.

Happy New Year, Jazz Shaw, and everyone at Hot Air!

Ladysmith CulchaVulcha on December 31, 2011 at 5:21 PM

Dow 13K before Easter.

TouchdownBuddha on December 31, 2011 at 5:25 PM

turfmann
ProfShadow says for $10.00 we could buy a tomato for the Big Mac, but in all honesty I believe a tomato would ruin it.

Rose on December 31, 2011 at 5:25 PM

9. Obama wins reelection fairly easily; Democrats hold the Senate, Republicans hold the House, but the margins of majority narrow in both chambers.

The Daily Beast has it pretty much right.

ddrintn on December 31, 2011 at 5:26 PM

Vicki is described as someone who, “has been seeing spirits for most of her life. She ignored them for years, until one day she embraced her psychic side.”

She sees spirits due to the fact she needs to lay off the spirits.

Romney wins with Bob Mcdonnell as VP.53/44/3
GOP takes Senate 60/39/1
GOP House adds 20 seats.
Supreme Court votes down Obamacare…
Nancy Pelosi retires…
West becomes House Speaker…
Rubio leads the Senate…

HEY, I’M AN OPTIMIST!!!!!!

Happy New Year All!
Barred on December 31, 2011 at 5:17 PM

Mcdonnell, huh? Good idea..I live in Va and haven’t thought of him as VP..He would be great!

Static21 on December 31, 2011 at 5:31 PM

I predict a brokered GOP convention in which the drafted GOP prez candidate is Ed Morrissey. Natch, he wins in November against Øbama in a landslide victory, capturing all 57 states.

petefrt on December 31, 2011 at 5:35 PM

I’m not making any predictions for next year.
*EVERYTHING* is up for grabs, and *ANYTHING* is possible.

Skandia Recluse on December 31, 2011 at 5:36 PM

9. The date of the Mayan apocalypse in December will come and go. The families of suicide cult members will scramble to think up less embarrassing things to write on their grave markers. Unlike Harold Camping, however, the Mayans do not reappear to move the date back to March of 2013.

We just passed one actually.

The 1975 Alan Landsburg pseudo-documentary The Outer Space Connection ended with Rod Serling intoning that the aliens who created us by genetic engineering (no, really) would return to “Earth Base One”, Teotihuacan (that’s near Lake Titicaca, in the Peruvian Andes), on December 24, 2011- Christmas Eve.

No alien spacecraft showed up, not even a single little sport model flying saucer. (Let alone anything out of a Jack Kirby title like The Eternals or Captain Victory and the Galactic Rangers.)

My guess is that the other Mayan/Aztec/Inca/Whatever prophecies won’t come off, either. New Agers will spend the next several decades “recomputing” the results and announcing new doomsdays on a regular basis, in-between other predictions of apocalypses (apocalyppi?) brought on by the existence of Western Civilization and/or all humans other than themselves in general.

In other news, Obama will lose to Romney on an “ABO” (Anybody But Obama) principle. He will, however, refuse to abdicate, since he will refuse to admit that he lost.

In fact, he will still be trying to sue his way back into the Oval Office on the 200th Anniversary of the Declaration of Independence. Or at least his clone will.

Happy New Year, everybody.

cheers

eon

eon on December 31, 2011 at 5:37 PM

The end of the paper book as we know it is in sight. People will buy books as collector’s items, like some people still buy vinyl records. They rhapsodize over the book smell–whatever the heck that is. For reading entertainment, for textbooks, it will be digital. Digital lending libraries will be commonplace–think Netflix but better. Digital books will become more like DVDs of movies with added content. Traditional publishing will make fools of themselves trying to compete but the dinosaurs always lose.

This is a tectonic shift in how we read akin to the invention of Gutenberg’s printing press and how that changed everything.

vityas on December 31, 2011 at 5:38 PM

The President of the USA dies in march due to intense seclusion, loneliness and isolation. On the same day Joe Biden will take the oath of office, he will win the nomination of his party uncontested and he will win the 2012 election against Mitt Romney in a landslide.

Mitt Romney narrowly secures the nomination in early june, after a bloody primary battle with suprise not-Romney frontrunner Buddy Roemer. Tea Party activists torch local offices of the Republican Party in every state all throughout the US. Police, firefighters and the citizenry enjoy watching the flames and congratuluate the arsonists.

Bidens running mate will be congresswoman Sheila Jackson Lee. Mitt Romney will pick Dick Lugar as veep, after intense endeavors to get a woman from Alaska on the ticket, to energize the base, fail (Lisa Murkowski ultimately declines).

Valkyriepundit on December 31, 2011 at 5:39 PM

Rick Perry/Uncle Ted Nugent!!!!

Happy New Year

poljunkie51 on December 31, 2011 at 5:41 PM

Anthony Kennedy dies of a “heart attack” one day before Obamacare is decided on. Any papers that speak of it are burned.

Romney gets the nod. Tea party/Conservatives disavows the GOP. Romney loses to Obama 49/29.

Arizona’s immigration law is ruled constitutional. Eric Holder commits suicide, the story given: “stress.”

Hollywood executives begin pushing for the decriminalization of pedophilia.

SOPA is passed. Anonymous decimates the RIAA/MPAA. (I can dream about part 2 can’t I?)

Iran gets their nuclear bomb. Israel nukes Iran.

The EU begs China to bail them out. China agrees if the EU will turn a blind eye to any future activity the Chinese conduct in the Middle East.

EPA decides to outlaw energy.

Armed revolts take place Dec 21. Washington DC is taken over by patriots.

nobar on December 31, 2011 at 5:42 PM

like some people still buy vinyl records.

I got two for Christmas!

poljunkie51 on December 31, 2011 at 5:43 PM

Jelly Toast,

I met Jeanne Dixon. She predicted I would work on the Hartford Courant as a journalist.

Nope. Not even close. Though she did assure me Amelia Earhardt was dead. If she wasn’t right then she is by now so I guess we have to give her that one.

vityas on December 31, 2011 at 5:48 PM

Obama wins re-election.

Texas, the South and the rest of flyover country secede.

Power goes out in California and all of the northeast because windmills and solar panels could not provide enough power.

We really find out what is in the healthcare bill.(Well maybe not)

banzaibob on December 31, 2011 at 5:50 PM

In a surprise, Romney will turn for his running mate to David Petraeus, and Petraeus will accept. Obama’s foreign policy advantage will be gone. Panic over the stunning whiteness and maleness of the ticket will prove misguided; in every other way Petraeus is everything Romney is not.

Someone is drunk already. Petraeus is someone whom Patton would slap into kingdom come, and Romney is not.

VorDaj on December 31, 2011 at 5:51 PM

Petraeus will make Americans feel like the adult has finally walked into the room. The day the first Romney/Petraeus bumper stickers go out will be the last time anyone ever mentions Condoleezza Rice.

Petraeus is Condi Rice. Both are muslim lovers and Jew haters.

VorDaj on December 31, 2011 at 5:53 PM

I predict Reggie Love will write a blockbuster bestseller entitled, I Didn’t Ask, I Didn’t Tell. It will be a fictional love story recounting the playful ups and downs and later parting of a misunderstood CEO and his chiseled body man.

Fallon on December 31, 2011 at 5:54 PM

Easy prediction: democrats will continue to blame all things gone wrong on former President Bush. Legacy media will continue to echo such sentiments. Conservatives will continue to avoid smacking down such utter nonsense.

TheBad on December 31, 2011 at 5:54 PM

American’s will not vote for Hundred Year Wars in 57 Muslim states.

VorDaj on December 31, 2011 at 5:54 PM

All in all these are about the dumbest predictions I have ever seen, like something out of Saint Elizabeths. I think most of these swamis were improperly medicated.

VorDaj on December 31, 2011 at 5:56 PM

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