An unconventional New Years Eve

posted at 1:00 pm on December 31, 2011 by Jazz Shaw

As we reach the end of what has been a trying and disappointing year for many Americans, I’m sure most of you are planning on lifting your spirits with some traditional New Years Eve festivities. Best of luck to you and I wish you well, but I abandoned the old ceremonies some years ago. However, I won’t let the day slip away and the calendar turn over without a few thoughts, observations and hopes.

First on the agenda is the renowned tradition of going out for a party on Dec. 31st to welcome in the new year with others. You can have it. I’m staying home. (Again.) Police refer to New Years Eve as “amateur night” for a reason. Lots of people with very little experience drinking alcohol (unlike we professionals… *cough*) go out to parties, down a few pints and suddenly decide they’re just fine to be behind the wheel. And being the cusp of January, they often make this decision when the roads will be covered in ice and snow. No thank you.

But if you do decide to go out and drink a lot – and manage to survive to make it back home – you may be interested in some of these professional tips for curing hangovers from famous historical drinkers. Speaking from a similar level of experience, I’ll share my own secret with you. Before going to bed, drink a big glass of water, along with taking an aspirin and 1000 mg each of Vitamin C and B complex. Then put a couple of bottles of water on the nightstand near your bed. If you wake up in the middle of the night when nature calls, down another bottle of water. Dehydration and vitamin depletion are two of the big killers in terms of hangovers and you can mitigate a lot of the damage by following those steps.

Whether out and about or safely at home, you may be planning to stay up and watch the ball drop. Not me. I’ll be in bed. There’s nothing particularly magical about yet another second ticking off the clock of eternity, and I remain confident that when I wake up tomorrow morning the year 2012 will have successfully arrived without my supervision. I get up early every day, and I go to bed early as well. Why start my year off dead tired and off schedule? That’s no way to launch a fresh start.

Another thing I won’t be doing is making any resolutions. It’s just a way to set yourself up for disappointment. There’s no sense in deciding on January 1st that you’re going to quit smoking, drink less, eat better, exercise more, or finally read War and Peace. When you inevitably falter a few weeks later, all you’ve done is manage to depress yourself before you even make it to Valentine’s Day.

Instead, what say we all get together and come up with some resolutions for our elected leaders? After all, they work for us and should at least be open to some suggestions. I’ll start us off with a few, but feel free to add in your own.

1. How about you resolve to actually put America first rather than just talking about it? When making a decision, stop for a moment and consider not just the political ramifications, but whether or not your choice will really affect Americans in a positive fashion.

2. Resolve to have a “mid-life crisis” this year, no matter what your age. Are you really in the job you want and are qualified for? Maybe you really should be doing something else with your life, so by all means don’t stick around on our account. (No, I’m not specifically talking about Nancy Pelosi, but if the shoe fits… )

3. Resolve to adjust your ratio of talking to listening in a downward direction. We sent a big ole’ message to all of you in 2010, yet I can’t help but feel that some of you weren’t really listening. Maybe you were too busy flapping your gums and reciting the talking points that your staff writes for you. Listen. To. Us.

4. Resolve to simply be a good person. I know that sounds trite and obvious, but apparently it’s not all that easy. But if you do, we’ll notice and you’ll be rewarded for it. Just because you can do something doesn’t necessarily mean you should do it. You don’t have an approval rating in single digits by accident. Just be a good person, OK?

OK, that’s enough for me. I need to start chilling the champagne for my bride so we can drink it after the early bird special. Happy New Years to all the Hot Air faithful readers everywhere and may 2012 bring you wisdom, happiness and good fortune.

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Also isn’t tomorrow Sunday? Don’t all you religious wack job fundies need to show your face at church so your “god” can take attendance?

Your Mamma loves me on December 31, 2011 at 4:11 PM

It’s been Sunday for a while. I guess you’re still at home there in the past. Is the big bad world too scary?

DarkCurrent on December 31, 2011 at 5:54 PM

Iplanned a quiet evening w/ family but am hosting an impromptu tween sleepover instead, so the other parents can go out. They’ll keep me laughing!!

I made my resolutions on 11/11/11…because I had an aha moment. This was a tough year for us, but others had it worse, so I have to be thankful for what i have, not regret what i don’t have.

I wish each and every one of you happiness and success in the new year.

Daisy_WI on December 31, 2011 at 6:42 PM

Eternal God, who makes all things new, and lives forever the same: Grant us to begin this year in faith, and to continue it in your favor; that, being guided in all our doings, and guarded in all our days, we may spend our lives in your service, and finally, by your graces attain the glory of everlasting life; through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen. (from the 1946 version of the Presbyterian Book of Common Worship)

Happy Nomad on December 31, 2011 at 6:48 PM

Happy Nomad on December 31, 2011 at 6:48 PM

Did God make you to kneel like a slave?

DarkCurrent on December 31, 2011 at 7:04 PM

Did God make you to kneel like a slave?

DarkCurrent on December 31, 2011 at 7:04 PM

Did God make you a jerk? Or does it just come naturally?

Ugly on December 31, 2011 at 7:08 PM

Did God make you a jerk? Or does it just come naturally?

Ugly on December 31, 2011 at 7:08 PM

That’s really the question, isn’t it?

DarkCurrent on December 31, 2011 at 7:10 PM

That’s really the question, isn’t it?

DarkCurrent on December 31, 2011 at 7:10 PM

Brilliant.

But you are still an ass.

Axe on December 31, 2011 at 7:14 PM

But you are still an ass.

Axe on December 31, 2011 at 7:14 PM

I am as God made me.

DarkCurrent on December 31, 2011 at 7:15 PM

I am as God made me.

DarkCurrent on December 31, 2011 at 7:15 PM

God gave us free will, so that answer does not suffice.

Ugly on December 31, 2011 at 7:22 PM

DarkCurrent on December 31, 2011 at 7:15 PM

lol … “But this one goes to 11.”

Axe on December 31, 2011 at 7:26 PM

Happy New Years Hot Air! May 2012 be better for everyone!

melle1228 on December 31, 2011 at 7:27 PM

God gave us free will, so that answer does not suffice.

Ugly on December 31, 2011 at 7:22 PM

So, before God made me God didn’t know how I’d turn out?

God knew exactly what He was doing. He even knew exactly how this comment would appear on your display, and exactly when, down to and below the lowest level of physical reality.

Or didn’t He?

DarkCurrent on December 31, 2011 at 7:34 PM

So, before God made me God didn’t know how I’d turn out?

God knew exactly what He was doing. He even knew exactly how this comment would appear on your display, and exactly when, down to and below the lowest level of physical reality.

Or didn’t He?

DarkCurrent on December 31, 2011 at 7:34 PM

Not every birth is a miracle of God. Sometimes, it seems, people just have kids.

I’m no theologian nor am I particularly religious, but even I understand that God does not want slaves to to his will.

Freedom of choice. Or maybe you want freedom from choice.

Not sure what you’re saying, but then I’m already 1/4 into the wind.

Ugly on December 31, 2011 at 7:45 PM

Ugly on December 31, 2011 at 7:45 PM

You might have been offended by my abrupt and crude manner. I can understand that.

Have a Happy New Year

DarkCurrent on December 31, 2011 at 7:53 PM

Not sure what you’re saying, but then I’m already 1/4 into the wind.

Ugly on December 31, 2011 at 7:45 PM

Speaking of which, Happy New Year everyone!

2012.

OK.

Why not.

Axe on December 31, 2011 at 7:54 PM

DarkCurrent on December 31, 2011 at 7:53 PM

You too ;)

Ugly on December 31, 2011 at 8:03 PM

Happy New Year Axe. Happy New Year Ugly.

DarkCurrent on December 31, 2011 at 8:06 PM

@Happy Nomad

I regret the mean-spirited tone of my comment in response to yours.

It was uncalled for.

I thank you for your kind words on behalf of us all.

DarkCurrent on December 31, 2011 at 8:09 PM

Axe on December 31, 2011 at 7:26 PM

lols…..Happy New Year!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EbVKWCpNFhY

Tim_CA on December 31, 2011 at 8:10 PM

In fact it wasn’t just my tone. My comment @ 7:04 was entirely mean-spirited.

I regret it.

DarkCurrent on December 31, 2011 at 8:14 PM

DarkCurrent on December 31, 2011 at 8:14 PM

It’s all good, jerk.

/kidding

May the new year bring JOY to you & yours. Cheers! *glug glug glug*

Ugly on December 31, 2011 at 8:25 PM

Since we’re all cool.

This is for you Axe :)

DarkCurrent on December 31, 2011 at 8:44 PM

Happy New Years Hot Air! May 2012 be better for everyone!

melle1228 on December 31, 2011 at 7:27 PM

DarkCurrent on December 31, 2011 at 9:18 PM

Mr. PatriotGal and I are spending another quiet New Year’s eve at home, and that’s the way we like it.

At midnight, I’ll give my cousin in another state a call, wish him a happy new year and talk for a bit — it’s been a tradition of ours for years; his and my parents and other aunts and uncles used to do it as well and I’m guessing the whole lighthearted bash originated with their parents.

Eternal God, who makes all things new, and lives forever the same: Grant us to begin this year in faith, and to continue it in your favor; that, being guided in all our doings, and guarded in all our days, we may spend our lives in your service, and finally, by your graces attain the glory of everlasting life; through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen. (from the 1946 version of the Presbyterian Book of Common Worship)

Happy Nomad on December 31, 2011 at 6:48 PM

^^ This is really beautiful. Thank you for posting it here, Happy Nomad.

I’d like to wish all of you at Hot Air a happy, healthy, productive and prosperous 2012. Hold tightly to your optimism and faith in this country. We will find our way out of these present circumstances and emerge a stronger, better nation for it.

PatriotGal2257 on December 31, 2011 at 9:44 PM

Happy new year

netster007x on December 31, 2011 at 10:17 PM

pilamaye on December 31, 2011 at 1:32 PM

My sincere sympathies to you, sir. God bless you and I’ll be keeping you in my prayers.

PatriotGal2257 on December 31, 2011 at 10:28 PM

Hey, the image on this post is one of my stock shots from Corbis Images.

Wow!

Cinematicfilm on December 31, 2011 at 10:29 PM

We have spent NYE in for decades now. Had a good friend and his fiance come really close to being killed going 2 miles to their house from ours on NYE. We are sitting here now watching the attack of the killer Guinea pigs/rabbits/bees/mice etc attack South Park.

What better way to ring in the New Year.

LL

Lady Logician on December 31, 2011 at 11:21 PM

17hrs & roughly 20 mins EDST after my new year came around I can still wish all of yous (most of yous?time accuracy) Happy New Year from Sydney Aus.
I was hauling 3000+ Tons of wheat(small fry to you guys I know) to Port Kembla,near Woolongong as the new year ticked over with 4 V16′s built in Illinois behind me belching out 12000 horses & a shipload of carbon, but had a perfectly clear night to stare out at ahead of me with the headlight off..

God bless yous all & God bless the USA,& It goes without saying,Australia…

DJcool on January 1, 2012 at 1:20 AM

pilamaye on December 31, 2011 at 1:32 PM

My prayers and condolences to you on your loss.

unclesmrgol on January 1, 2012 at 1:46 AM

Also isn’t tomorrow Sunday? Don’t all you religious wack job fundies need to show your face at church so your “god” can take attendance?

Your Mamma loves me on December 31, 2011 at 4:11 PM

Yes — with a capital Y, unless they are finding lost lambs — God gives them a dispensation in that case. And ditto for us Catholics, who are not “fundies” but are probably still “wack jobs” in your estimation.

And it’s not so God can take attendance — He doesn’t need to do that — it’s so we can learn how to be better People of the Lord.

Happy New Year — or, for you Catholics — remember that today is the Solemnity of Mary, Mother of God — a holy day of obligation.

unclesmrgol on January 1, 2012 at 1:56 AM

Your Mamma loves me

Somebody has to!

Cindy Munford on January 1, 2012 at 11:43 AM

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