Next brainstorm: Occupy Black Friday

posted at 1:25 pm on November 23, 2011 by Jazz Shaw

Public support for the Occupy Wall Street movement has been plummeting in the polls of late, so they clearly needed some new marketing strategies which might shine up their reputation a bit. I’m not sure who they hired as a strategist, but they might want to reconsider their latest plan, which apparently involves “occupying” stores on Black Friday, just as the holiday shopping season kicks into full gear.

Some demonstrators are planning to occupy retailers on Black Friday to protest “the business that are in the pockets of Wall Street.”

Organizers are encouraging consumers to either occupy or boycott retailers that are publicly traded, according to the Stop Black Friday website.

The goal of the movement is to impact the profits of major corporations this holiday season.

Well, well… if I wanted to win over the hearts and minds of the 99% in America, I’m sure one of the first things I’d try is to shut down the stores where financially strapped citizens are hoping to take advantage of big sales to scrounge up some Christmas gifts for their families. It also has the added bonus of cutting down economic activity at the retail end, which generally provides at least some jobs (even if they are temporary) during the holiday season. A third – and perhaps more stunning – bonus, is that the inconvenience you cause will fall almost entirely on the shoulders of the poor and middle class Americans you ostensibly claim to be fighting for. The hated 1% probably have personal shoppers.

Did you think of any of this before cooking up this plan? Oh… I see that you did.

“Keep in mind that we are not occupying small businesses or hardworking people—we must make a distinction between the businesses that are in the pockets of Wall Street and the businesses that serve our local communities.

We are NOT anti-capitalist. Just anti-crapitalist.

I see. So… which stores do you plan on sticking it to in defense of the holiday spirit?

Neiman Marcus, Abercrombie & Fitch, Amazon, Wal-Mart, AT&T Wireless, Burlington Coat Factory, Dick’s Sporting Goods, Dollar Tree, The Home Depot, OfficeMax…

Whoa, whoa, whoa… hold the phone here. Back up a couple. Did you actually say Dollar Tree? And Home Depot? Dick’s? Burlington Coat Factory??? (They’re not all being turned into mosques, FYI)

Granted, if I somehow agreed with your basic premise, I might give you the first two on the list. Neiman and Abercrombie are fairly high end on the price scale and might attract more well heeled shoppers. But most of the rest of those stores primarily serve people looking to save a buck wherever they can. And you want to shut them down on Black Friday?

Oh, and as for your claim not to affect “hard working people,” you can peddle that elsewhere also. The folks you’ll affect are the ones who need their jobs working there. And they aren’t Wall Street fat cats. They are cashiers and stock clerks taking home minimum wage or a little above.

Genius. Just pure and simple, strategic genius. If any of you run out work on OWS I hope they pick you up to run Chuck Schumer’s next Senate campaign.

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At this point it should be painfully obvious this movement consists of nothing but children who only want adults to pay attention to them.

NotCoach on November 23, 2011 at 1:28 PM

Genius. Just pure and simple, strategic genius.

-Wile E. Coyote, super genius

Steve Eggleston on November 23, 2011 at 1:31 PM

After annoying people who work, they’re now going to annoy everyone else. I’m sure there are just tons of fat-cat 1%-ers who go Christmas shopping at Wal-Mart. Great plan for making new friends.

Socratease on November 23, 2011 at 1:32 PM

It might be worth it to brave the door buster crowds just to watch these fools get trampled in a mad rush to the electronics department for that $200 flat screen. Good times!

NoLeftTurn on November 23, 2011 at 1:32 PM

DESPERATELY SEEKING ATTENTION….

Occupiers?…………….do it, I dare you.

start pissing on people just trying to shop for their families. See how that works for you.

What a bunch of whiny ___ losers.

Vanny Vann Vann Jones must be proud.

PappyD61 on November 23, 2011 at 1:32 PM

Granted, if I somehow agreed with your basic premise, I might give you the first two on the list. Neiman and Abercrombie are fairly high end on the price scale and might attract more well heeled shoppers. But most of the rest of those stores primarily serve people looking to save a buck wherever they can. And you want to shut them down on Black Friday?

Methinks the Occupiers might catch a little flak from the “99%” customers looking for more bang for their buck at Wal-Mart.

Police called to evacuate Occupiers in 3…2…1…

Steve Z on November 23, 2011 at 1:34 PM

All of these twits that want to protest ‘CAPITALISM’ need to turn in their iPhones, iPads, smart phones,….at the door before they can be considered anything more that a petulant child having a childs tantrum because they don’t have anything else constructive to do. While they are at it, their parents should be rounded up and made to sign a bond to pay for the damages not only to property, but to the expected business interruption.

belad on November 23, 2011 at 1:34 PM

Can’t help but think that Home Depot is on that list because the founder of the company is on record as being very critical of Obama’s economic policies. I wonder how many of these choices are motivated not by their status as big chains but by their ties to Obama critics?

Caiwyn on November 23, 2011 at 1:34 PM

So how many of them are going to get stampeded?

jhffmn on November 23, 2011 at 1:36 PM

I wouldn’t want to be the OWS slacker who gets up in my mother’s face when she goes Christmas shopping for her grandkids.

I can see it now….

BREAKING: OWS protestor sent to hospital with shopping cart lodged in his rectum.

CurtZHP on November 23, 2011 at 1:36 PM

There Will Be Blood II: Occupy Costco.

BHO Jonestown on November 23, 2011 at 1:37 PM

I can see this going over really well.///

ted c on November 23, 2011 at 1:37 PM

Who do these guys think they are? Hell hath no fury like Momma when you get in the way of her and a sale.

ted c on November 23, 2011 at 1:39 PM

Blocking the entrance of a store on Black Friday will lead to some serious butt kicking. Never stand between a female and a sale. There had better be some ambulances standing by.

DAT60A3 on November 23, 2011 at 1:39 PM

“Some demonstrators are planning to occupy retailers on Black Friday to protest “the business that are in the pockets of Wall Street.”

I can see it now…

“Mic Check!”

“MIC CHECK!!”

“Down with Wall Street greed!”

“DOWN WITH WALL STREET GREED!!”

“Protest Black Friday!”

“PROTEST BLACK FRIDAY!!”

“Rage against the… $20 bucks for a flat screen TV, really?”

“RAGE AGAIN… did you say $20 bucks? Dude, that’s a sweet deal. I’ll be right back. Hey! Wait a minute, I want one too! Me first! They also have a two for one sale on jeans! Hey, look at the price of toilet paper! Are you kidding me… $0.99 wine!”

Seven Percent Solution on November 23, 2011 at 1:40 PM

Just run them over with some of those CostCo shopping carts.

Blake on November 23, 2011 at 1:40 PM

CurtZHP on November 23, 2011 at 1:36 PM

That video will go viral, and if I’m on the jury, MawMaw’s walkin’.

Laura in Maryland on November 23, 2011 at 1:40 PM

Maybe for their next trick they can start occupying mall Santas to protest western consumerism.

What does black friday have to do with bailouts again?

jhffmn on November 23, 2011 at 1:40 PM

Imagine the OWS brainstorming session when this idea came up: *up-twinkles* everywhere–except for that troublemaker grad student, Reggie, in the back, all *down-twinkles* and frantic, like usual, saying, “Guys? Er, guys? I dunno about this. I mean, we’re after public support, right?”

troyriser_gopftw on November 23, 2011 at 1:41 PM

what a bunch of maroons….

own it dems…OWN IT

cmsinaz on November 23, 2011 at 1:41 PM

Some pissed off shopper will behead one of these kids with the blunt end of a credit card.///

ted c on November 23, 2011 at 1:42 PM

The sad fact is that these miscreant cretins are going to injure innocent people. Yeah, we can goof a little on getting in the way of the typical “shopper” but in the end, someone, someone innocent, is going to get hurt.

HomeoftheBrave on November 23, 2011 at 1:42 PM

Lots of banners saying death to capitalism, with what?

More command economy? The command economy we suffer from now isn’t bad enough?

Speakup on November 23, 2011 at 1:42 PM

“RAGE AGAIN… did you say $20 bucks? Dude, that’s a sweet deal. I’ll be right back. Hey! Wait a minute, I want one too! Me first! They also have a two for one sale on jeans! Hey, look at the price of toilet paper! Are you kidding me… $0.99 wine!”

Seven Percent Solution on November 23, 2011 at 1:40 PM

hehehehh!!!

ted c on November 23, 2011 at 1:42 PM

Never stand between a female and a sale. There had better be some ambulances standing by.

DAT60A3 on November 23, 2011 at 1:39 PM

I predict the outcome will be – lots of OWS broken ankles. “Damn those shopping carts!” I look forward to the fun.

VegasRick on November 23, 2011 at 1:43 PM

It would round the effort off nicely if a couple of them took a dump on kitchenware items.

a capella on November 23, 2011 at 1:47 PM

Seven Percent Solution on November 23, 2011 at 1:40 PM

#winning

Jazz Shaw on November 23, 2011 at 1:51 PM

Awesome. This’ll finally be the tipping point for that “movement.”

Hassle people when they are trying to get their hot little hands on Christmas gifts – beyond stupid.

RedNewEnglander on November 23, 2011 at 1:51 PM

So, how exactly do we Occupy Amazon? I guess I’ll have my cat sit on my keyboard tomorrow morning. Solidarity!

azkag on November 23, 2011 at 1:52 PM

Jazz Shaw on November 23, 2011 at 1:51 PM

2nd that

excellent

cmsinaz on November 23, 2011 at 1:52 PM

Some demonstrators are planning to occupy retailers on Black Friday to protest “the business that are in the pockets of Wall Street.”
Organizers are encouraging consumers to either occupy or boycott retailers that are publicly traded, according to the Stop Black Friday website.
The goal of the movement is to impact the profits of major corporations this holiday season.

if you’re a Cloward Piven disciple this all makes perfect sense.

Ya just gotta thinks like a Revolutionary!!

Thanks Granny Piven.

PappyD61 on November 23, 2011 at 1:52 PM

ted c on November 23, 2011 at 1:42 PM
Jazz Shaw on November 23, 2011 at 1:51 PM

:)

Seven Percent Solution on November 23, 2011 at 1:53 PM

I really hope they carry out their plans. You think the police have been rough, wait till they clash with bargain shoppers at the Dollar Store!

Opposite Day on November 23, 2011 at 1:53 PM

Neiman Marcus, Abercrombie & Fitch, Amazon, Wal-Mart, AT&T Wireless, Burlington Coat Factory, Dick’s Sporting Goods, Dollar Tree, The Home Depot, OfficeMax…

How does one occupy Amazon?

RDH on November 23, 2011 at 1:54 PM

How do they plan to Occupy….Amazon???

michaelo on November 23, 2011 at 1:56 PM

How does one occupy Amazon?

RDH on November 23, 2011 at 1:54 PM

Lemme break it down for you, in 3 easy steps!

1. Occupy vacant building.
2. Crudely spray paint “Amazon.com” on said building.
3. Occupy it.

Bonus step 4. Fist bumps and garbage cans full of puke all round!

Gatsu on November 23, 2011 at 1:57 PM

Black Friday shoppers will eat these little OWS pantywaists alive.

I have a mental image of Wal-Mart employees sweeping their bones out the back door on Saturday.

RebeccaH on November 23, 2011 at 1:59 PM

For those of you who might want to see some OWS’ers pummeled within an inch of their lives… just let them get in the way of Black Friday shoppers.

JohnGalt23 on November 23, 2011 at 1:59 PM

They can never resist the temptation to “bring the war home,” I guess.

Tactically, a big mistake. The loss prevention staffs for most big box retailers have a Black Ops mindset — it’s not like they’ll be dealing with Paul Blart, Mall Cop.

Mr. D on November 23, 2011 at 1:59 PM

I guess we now know where all those washed-up marketing hacks from PETA landed.

Rufus on November 23, 2011 at 2:01 PM

I think they missed one publicly traded company, AAPL. But I guess most of them already occupy their stores.

BohicaTwentyTwo on November 23, 2011 at 2:01 PM

If any OWS idiot harasses my family’s shopping on Friday, it will be Black Eye Friday.

Sugar Land on November 23, 2011 at 2:07 PM

Well, the police have been restrained from being able to act appropriately. Black Friday bargain shoppers? No such restraints. Yeah, somebody will get hurt. My prediction? It ain’t gonna be one of the shoppers, it’s going to be a bunch of whiny, smelly, bad-behaving children standing between those shoppers and the bargains that those shoppers seek.

Probably won’t happen at the door-busters opening, that would require the OWS bunch to wake up before noon. I’d suspect you’ll see the protestors showing up around 10 or 11 in the morning when most of the bargains are gone and the shoppers left are royally PO’d at the deals they have missed.

AZfederalist on November 23, 2011 at 2:10 PM

“You are the reason I ran for office.”

Great timing.

chewydog on November 23, 2011 at 2:12 PM

While I think many of the OWS people are attention seeking, liberal arts degreed unemployable hipster types without a clue, I do think that was the Christmas season has turned into, is well a bit grotesque.

Christmas used to be about family, religious significance, and giving. When our grandparents were young, most people were poor and a lot of the gifts were made by each other, which actually means something.

Now all it seems to mean is an orgy of unbridled consumerism, with mass purchases of foreign made goods destined to be out of date or obsolete by this time next year.

Is it so important to buy yet more stuff, to go sit in line for hours in the cold. For many people, thats more important that family for Thanksgiving.

Christmas is not a holiday anymore, it is a 5 week long consumer event. Its not about the giving anymore, its about the buying.

While you may pay more shopping from a local business or artisan, your money stays around. And local charities (I give to the Wildland Firefighter Foundation) need help even more this time of the year and from the bad economy.

firepilot on November 23, 2011 at 2:13 PM

Oh yeah, I see this ending well.

And by “well”, I mean “with fisticuffs”.

fusionaddict on November 23, 2011 at 2:14 PM

Yes, yes I support OWS, please do stand in front of a herd of rabid shoppers who will most likely trample you to get the good deal. These people aren’t like the cops who are paid to hold back, so it will be a free for all. I am sure they will also be occupying the hospital beds by the end of the day.

Africanus on November 23, 2011 at 2:15 PM

These Occupiers are reminding me of the Bill Cosby skit where the two cows are getting hearded into the pit to be destroyed because they have the hoof n mouth disease (from the movie, Hud):

“Where’re we goin’…..we’re goin’ to get shot….Shot? Why’s that?…..’cause we’ve got hoof n mouth…..hoof n mouth? What’s that?…..See that foam around your mouth? Yeah. That’s hoof n mouth. Any way we can get out of this? Yep. How’s that? Wipe that foam off around your mouth.”

Moral of the story: Even dumb cows have more sense.

Rovin on November 23, 2011 at 2:16 PM

Ha. Joke’s on them! All my Christmas shopping is already done and for the last few choice big gifts- I’m doing my ‘Black Friday’ on the interwebs. They’re all set up, bookmarked, and ready to go… Just have to wait for the silly countdown timers to hit midnight tonight (online Black Thursday) and again tomorrow night.

Man, I really hope OWS rakes up a heckuva good ruckus over the holiday season and that Barack Hussein Obama, San Fran Nan, and the rest of the reprobate ilk keeps on endorsing OWS- and with much more gusto too ’cause the more you lie with dogs the more you’re going to get fleas… and lice… and scabies… and Tuberculosis… and herpes… and Zucotti Lung… and death (not that I wish death on anyone, but hey, fact is in its first two and a half months OWS has had more deaths per capita than Detroit and St. Louis combined).

OWS is a pathetically bad joke. The crazy stupid, it burns!

FlatFoot on November 23, 2011 at 2:16 PM

Seven Percent Solution on November 23, 2011 at 1:40 PM

OMG! That was hysterical! ROFLMAO :)

sicoit on November 23, 2011 at 2:20 PM

This is also part of the protesters plans to Occupy Hospital Emergency Rooms Friday afternoon.

jon1979 on November 23, 2011 at 2:22 PM

Got my big old sumac walking stick at the ready for Black Friday, yessirree!

Sekhmet on November 23, 2011 at 2:24 PM

So, they are calling for an occupation of the top 100 retailers, which means their criteria is to target companies that are best at giving people what they want, need and desire at a price they are willing to pay.

“Keep in mind that we are not occupying small businesses or hardworking people—we must make a distinction between the businesses that are in the pockets of Wall Street and the businesses that serve our local communities.

In other words, they’re not against business per se, so long as it’s not too successful at convincing people to voluntarily do business with them. If you run your business very well and eventually offer ownership in your company to the public, then you are the enemy.

RadClown on November 23, 2011 at 2:28 PM

It’s ok, I’ve managed to infiltrate the OWS movement, and I’ve given them the adresses of all the Amazon store locations. That’s where the focus will be.

reaganaut on November 23, 2011 at 2:29 PM

and the addresses, too.

reaganaut on November 23, 2011 at 2:30 PM

Abercrombie & Fitch stikes me as being a very politically correct store. I’m suprised they’re not closing their doors on Black Friday and putting a sign in the window that says “On Black Friday We Stand With The 99%”.

ardenenoch on November 23, 2011 at 2:31 PM

In other words, they’re not against business per se, so long as it’s not too successful at convincing people to voluntarily do business with them. If you run your business very well and eventually offer ownership in your company to the public, then you are the enemy.

RadClown on November 23, 2011 at 2:28 PM

Exactly! I’m always asking myself, at what point are you supposed to hate a growing business? How many locations do they need to have? How many states do they need to be in?

But here’s the real irony of it all……if Home Depot, Staples, Old Navy, Pottery Barn and Domino’s Pizza were all taken over by a Socialist government and renamed Government Hardware, Government Office Supplies, Government Jeans, Government Home Furnishings, and Government Pizza, the OWS crowd would no longer view the people who work their as cogs in the wheel of Capitalist America. Instead, they’d be viewed as virtous contributers to the new worker’s paradise.

Socialists don’t hate corporations and big chain stores. They just hate the fact that they’re controlled by the private sector. The whole infrastructure of corporations and big chain stores perfectly suit the needs of a Socialist tyranny, and would be a lot easier to take control over than thousands of small businesses.

ardenenoch on November 23, 2011 at 2:40 PM

The retail company with the largest market value in the US is Apple. They often swap places for the first spot with Exxon. Why does Apple get a break? Seriously. I use Apple products and see no reason they get preferred treatment over Wal Mart with the exception that these dumba$$es think they’re cool. Heck, Apple was recently caught passing around a memo in their retail stores on how do deal with employees that attempt to unionize. I guess they’re o.k. with that as long as Al Gore sits on Apple’s board.

ReaganWasRight on November 23, 2011 at 2:41 PM

Because, you know, A&F, Walmart and Tarjay are sooo into student loans and home mortgages…. oh, wait a sec…

Did these people pick up the ACME PROTESTOR KIT and not begin to wonder why it says to protest at popular places with a huge bullseye printed on your shirt, front and back? Or the shirt that says ‘I’m with Stupid’ with the arrow pointing up? Or the pants with the huge ‘KICK ME’ emblazoned on it with the ACME logo?

Just how mind-numbingly stupid are these people?

What will they follow next? The Lemming Parade out to the cliffs?

ajacksonian on November 23, 2011 at 2:48 PM

Organizers are encouraging consumers to either occupy or boycott retailers that are publicly traded, according to the Stop Black Friday website.

I see Toys R Us is on their list of places to ‘occupy’ for Black Friday. Problem is, Toys R Us (which includes Babies R Us and FAO Schwartz) is a privately held company. On the other hand, I have no issue with some lice-ridden toolbag getting gut-punched by a Grandma trying to round up the latest Elmo doll.

Left Coast Right Mind on November 23, 2011 at 2:57 PM

Just when you think they can’t possibly be any more stupid….

jeanie on November 23, 2011 at 3:04 PM

So did the appeasing Mens Warehouse get a pass?

chewydog on November 23, 2011 at 3:05 PM

This isn’t new. Adbusters, the folks behind OWS, has been doing this for years; this is just a rebranding. Too bad the irony of repackaging an unsuccessful product with a new name under the banner of “anti-crapitalism” seems lost on them.

calbear on November 23, 2011 at 3:09 PM

OWS = Obtuse Whiny Sh*ts.

A little PSA to all you OWS folks who plan to picket stores on Friday:

Standing between a man who has been up for the past 24 hours, waiting in line in the freezing cold for most of that time, and his $250.00, 40-inch, LCD television is a very, very painful way to commit suicide.

So, who’s bringing the popcorn . . . ?

Bubba Redneck on November 23, 2011 at 3:12 PM

So when do retailers setup machine gun nests and sniper posts?

These responsible folks are trying to keep the doors open and people employed. Who knew Obama’s leadership would inspire idiots trying to shut down retail at Christmas, the time of the year that spells profit?

Hening on November 23, 2011 at 3:23 PM

Hey, if they want to stand in front of the stampede to get inside these stores Friday morning, let ‘em have it. Just hose down the detritus when the day is done…

karl9000 on November 23, 2011 at 3:25 PM

On second thought, this isn’t such a bad idea. I say that next April, we stage an “Occupy Tax Day” protest and march around outside H & R Block and IRS offices.

Left Coast Right Mind on November 23, 2011 at 3:29 PM

Anti-crapitalism? Are they protesting themselves now?

bitsy on November 23, 2011 at 3:35 PM


Keep in mind that we are not occupying small businesses or hardworking people—we must make a distinction between the businesses that are in the pockets of Wall Street and the businesses that serve our local communities.

they caused the cancellation of a small food truck vendor event, they’ve flung poo , urine ,and blood at food cart vendors (who scarcely strike me as robber barons) .businesses that are not global corporations who try to operate near the occupy sites are subject to vandalism and loss of regular business. the only businesses that can survive their depredations are large by definition. small mom and pops can’t afford to lose regular clients, suffer excessive loss due to repeated thefts, afford their insurance after their windows are repeatedly broken and their bathrooms are destroyed. normal people with jobs and lives who are are not going to go shopping any where near where their are lice filled tents of violent, lawless hobos being enabled by law enforcement- even if they’re self made upper middle class hobos by political choice. who takes their family for dinner or goes on their lunch break near rape tents?

the people who have to pay for all the largess and free stuff #OMS are demanding are those who pay the taxes and small businesses get hit harder than oh say GE that paid- uh- NONE. so when you demand endless free food from the hot dog cart guy just how do you expect him to pay off your student loan?

occupy isn’t really part of what they have manufactured as the 1%- who are the working middle class who they are going to be surprised to find- do not support them. by what right do they claim to tell people where to shop for their kids christmas presents while still claiming we do not have the right to demand that they stop breaking the laws? ugly little snits who need a good once over- then they’ll be screaming for the police to protect them.

mittens on November 23, 2011 at 3:40 PM

These OWS nimnulls must think that “doorbusters” is a figure of speech. Well they are about to find out what it means to get between the 99% and their bargains.

smellthecoffee on November 23, 2011 at 4:15 PM

Wal-Mart, huh? Some of the most bone crunching Christmas videos come from black Friday sales at Wal-Mart. That should be a fun experience for a ‘non-violent’ movement.

Never gets between a sista and her sales. You goin’ down!

madmonkphotog on November 23, 2011 at 4:18 PM

Jazz, I blogged about this. Adbusters that spawned OWS, has a hard on for retailers this Christmas season.

Who wants to bet me that the stores who get the OWS treatment aren’t Union shops?

If this doesn’t open the door for prosecuting Adbusters, and their enablers and participants, using RICO what does?

Dr Evil on November 23, 2011 at 4:24 PM

Ok, I have two things in mind when i think about this;

1) The image of an OWS tent blocking the door of a Walmart

and

2) The video of that poor Walmart employee that got trampled to death by a crowd rushing through the door he just opened

This ‘protest’ will get very ugly very fast …

Freddy on November 23, 2011 at 6:13 PM

Occupy Wall Street becomes Occupy WalMart!!

JPlunket on November 23, 2011 at 9:48 PM

I can see the reports now. “In other news today a contingent of people from the occupy crowd was trying to block the entrance to the local Walmart store today for the beginning of Black Friday. Emergency crews have been on the scene for a couple of hours now treating and evacuating the occupiers from the store. One man was taken away severely injured with a stiletto heal impaled in the back of his head.” “I was just trying to get into the store to buy my child a Nintendo game when this smelly, unshaven man got in front of me and called me and others capitalist pigs and about then the doors opened and there was an instant crush of people surging towards the door and the guy went down and I was not about to stop so I just kept my legs pumping to get through the crowd. I did get what I was looking for but somewhere along the line I lost one of my shoes.”

jistincase on November 24, 2011 at 9:04 AM

Remind me again on why the Dems say they arent Socialists….yet they support OWS..and umm…they support Socialism..confused here

malkinmania on November 24, 2011 at 5:00 PM