The tale of PETA, Prince Harry and a pizza

posted at 3:40 pm on November 17, 2011 by Tina Korbe

Once upon a time, a down-to-earth prince with a rather wild reputation visited a town called Gila Bend in a state called Arizona in a country called the United States of America. There, the prince, whose name was Harry and who happened also to be a helicopter pilot, was in training at the Air Force Auxiliary Field.

One evening, Prince Harry dined at a restaurant called Little Italy with 30 of his fellow pilots. The people of Gila Bend were very polite and respectful of the prince’s privacy, not deigning to approach him at his table nor to goggle at him from across the restaurant. Nevertheless, the report still circulated: Prince Harry had ordered — and eaten! – a meat-lover’s pizza. The pizza was rich with toppings — bacon, ham, sausage and pepperoni — and Prince Harry ate it!

Some people, who wanted animals to be treated ethically, were appalled. To them, this was an unforgivable offense. What message was he sending — that he was a person for the eating of tasty animals? What — did the prince approve of wearing fur, too? Surely, they thought, Prince Harry knew better than a cartoon plumber named Mario, who lately had been glimpsed on video game screens wearing the fur of a rare raccoon. (The people for the ethical treatment of animals had objected to Mario, too.)

Rapidly, these oh-so-appalled people dispatched two scantily clad wenches to woo Prince Harry to their non-meat-eating ways. The women clad themselves in red pepper bikinis and pleaded with Prince Harry to let them “spice up” his life by teaching him to be vegan.

Some in Gila Bend were not so pleased with these women. “Poor guy,” one said of the prince. “Can’t even order a pizza.”

But, to others, who were very familiar with the absurdist animal advocates, the entire affair was a very great joke. They hoped Prince Harry and his pizza would live happily ever after.


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Silly. That could never happen.

TexasDan on November 17, 2011 at 3:44 PM

“They hoped Prince Harry and his pizza would live happily ever after.”

Can you tuck me in now Tina…?

:)

/

Seven Percent Solution on November 17, 2011 at 3:45 PM

Veganism is a religion. It makes you angry because there is not enough vitamin B12 in your diet. We evolved as meat eaters. You need meat for optimum health.

dentalque on November 17, 2011 at 3:49 PM

“Poor guy,” one said of the prince. “Can’t even order a pizza.”

Yeah, being tormented by women in chili bikinis. My heart bleeds for this poor man.

Chuckles3 on November 17, 2011 at 3:51 PM

When Vegans and vegetarians stop ‘breaking down’ and having a hamburger every two weeks or so, then I will have some respect for them. Of course given that their diet would put them in the morgue if they really followed it, I guess I would just lay some flowers on their grave.

sharrukin on November 17, 2011 at 3:51 PM

By PETA standards, admittedly a very low bar, this campaign was actually rather thoughtful and tasteful.

jwolf on November 17, 2011 at 3:52 PM

They need to find some vegans with curves if they want to convince me. I don’t like the anorexic look. And does veganism made your boobs small too?

NotCoach on November 17, 2011 at 3:52 PM

Now would be a good time to have the main page picture bigger then life/

Electrongod on November 17, 2011 at 3:52 PM

I’m just surprised they somehow managed to find the only two vegan gals in the world who don’t bring “Who Let The Dogs Out?” to mind.

whatcat on November 17, 2011 at 3:53 PM

Question for the PETA folks:

If you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant, what do you do?

BacaDog on November 17, 2011 at 3:56 PM

Those girls are vegans? That explains their sickly, pale appearance.

kurtzz3 on November 17, 2011 at 3:56 PM

And does veganism made your boobs small too?

NotCoach on November 17, 2011 at 3:52 PM

There’s been noticeable boob inflation over the last few decades. It seems reasonable to suppose it has to do with diet. So boobs from less rich diets would seem small to us now.

pedestrian on November 17, 2011 at 3:56 PM

John Belushi is spinning in his grave!

TOFU FIGHTTTTTTTTTTTT!!…..just doesn’t havva ring tewit Yanno?? ROFL

Katfish on November 17, 2011 at 3:57 PM

British Vegan girls are so incredibly cute! Almost makes me wish I lived in among the crumbling ruins of Western Civilization.

DarkCurrent on November 17, 2011 at 3:57 PM

Some people, who wanted animals to be treated ethically, were appalled.

Chuckle…

We evolved as meat eaters. You need meat for optimum health.

dentalque on November 17, 2011 at 3:49 PM

Yep. The only reason we ever started eating nuts and berries was because we failed to kill something that day.

RedCrow on November 17, 2011 at 3:58 PM

DarkCurrent on November 17, 2011 at 3:57 PM

They may be Brits, but this tale happened in Arizona.

RedCrow on November 17, 2011 at 4:00 PM

I’m glad I’m not the only one unimpressed by these skanks.

CurtZHP on November 17, 2011 at 4:01 PM

I love Harry because he’s a politically incorrect, hard-lovin’, hard-drinkin, “smoke-em-ya-got-em” kind of guy.

And damn – Briton would be one helluva place if he were King.

There is no way this cat could come from Princess Charles’ DNA.

Harry’s Dad was a mothafarkin PIRATE or something!

HondaV65 on November 17, 2011 at 4:02 PM

They may be Brits, but this tale happened in Arizona.

RedCrow on November 17, 2011 at 4:00 PM

Ok, crumbling ruins of Pueblo civilization.

DarkCurrent on November 17, 2011 at 4:05 PM

PETA kills dogs. PETA is vile.

rbj on November 17, 2011 at 4:07 PM

In PETA’s world, a Muslim bomber gets 76 vegans in heaven when he blows himself up.

petefrt on November 17, 2011 at 4:10 PM

Now would be a good time to have the main page picture bigger then life/

Electrongod on November 17, 2011 at 3:52 PM

Hahaha.

Abby Adams on November 17, 2011 at 4:12 PM

Then God blessed Noah and his sons, saying to them, “Be fruitful and increase in number and fill the earth. The fear and dread of you will fall on all the beasts of the earth, and on all the birds in the sky, on every creature that moves along the ground, and on all the fish in the sea; they are given into your hands. Everything that lives and moves about will be food for you. Just as I gave you the green plants, I now give you everything.

Genesis 9:1-3.

So, there’s that…

Akzed on November 17, 2011 at 4:15 PM

I have never met a vegan man who looked healthy, never. Keep enjoying that pizza your Highness!

Meric1837 on November 17, 2011 at 4:16 PM

nice tina :)

cmsinaz on November 17, 2011 at 4:17 PM

Will someone please feed those scrawny females in the picture? PLEASE!

VibrioCocci on November 17, 2011 at 4:18 PM

Everything that lives and moves about will be food for you. Just as I gave you the green plants, I now give you everything.”

Genesis 9:1-3.

So, there’s that…

Akzed on November 17, 2011 at 4:15 PM

Noah must have been Chinese.

DarkCurrent on November 17, 2011 at 4:19 PM

Genesis 9:1-3.

So, there’s that…

Akzed on November 17, 2011 at 4:15 PM

Bacon is a shorter version of that!

sharrukin on November 17, 2011 at 4:21 PM

Nevertheless, the report still circulated: Prince Harry had ordered — and eaten! – a meat-lover’s pizza. The pizza was rich with toppings — bacon, ham, sausage and pepperoni — and Prince Harry ate it!

The Spice Girls prefer pigs to princes.

Should they carry a sign,
“We Swoon for Swine”?

Maybe this is their version of lipstick on a pig. Yummy!

Steve Z on November 17, 2011 at 4:21 PM

Noah must have been Chinese.
DarkCurrent on November 17, 2011 at 4:19 PM

No, but the Chinese came from his son Shem, and gave us deep fried rooster testicle kabobs!

Akzed on November 17, 2011 at 4:22 PM

TINA: You misspelled the name of the organization:

……It’s PITA!!!

…..(which also fully explains them)….

landlines on November 17, 2011 at 4:26 PM

Humans are omnivores, like almost all second or third tier predators. Their guts are optimized to digest both meat and plants.

Ignoring evolution in favor of a fad is a short cut to extinction.

mojo on November 17, 2011 at 4:29 PM

Tina — I think you want “refraining from approaching” rather than “not deigning to approach.”

“Deign” connotes a nobleman’s willingness to acquiesce to the desire of a lesser person, e.g. “The courtier was thrilled when the prince deigned to listen to his plan.” It’s generally used today in the ironic sense, such as “my cat did not deign to acknowledge my existence today.”

TallDave on November 17, 2011 at 4:31 PM

I’m thinking it isn’t such a good idea to rub capsaicin on your private parts…

novaculus on November 17, 2011 at 4:31 PM

Akzed on November 17, 2011 at 4:22 PM

‘Shem’ sounds sort of Cantonese. That would explain a lot.

DarkCurrent on November 17, 2011 at 4:31 PM

When they put up ads with hot chicks wearing nothing or next to it….. All i see is hot chicks wearing nothing or next to it. :)

ThePrez on November 17, 2011 at 4:37 PM

Being vegan would mean he couldn’t drink most British beers. They are brewed using isinglass, which is made from fish bladders. The isinglass is used to precipitate the yeast out of solution then filtered out, but the beers are still considered ‘animal products’. I’ve also known vegans to claim that strict vegans should not eat yeast either.

bitsy on November 17, 2011 at 4:43 PM

They need to find some vegans with curves if they want to convince me. I don’t like the anorexic look. And does veganism made your boobs small too?

NotCoach on November 17, 2011 at 3:52 PM

Have you ever seen a flower with nice boobs?

But seriously, these people are crazy and dangerous to themselves and others. On the recommendation of one of my doctors, I bought the book “Eat to Live” by Dr Oz (had no idea who he was at the time). The book, which advocates veganism, is thoroughly delusional. It sprinkles medical terms around throughout, but there is no coherent thought holding the entire book together. It also contradicts itself…sometimes in the same sentence, sometimes via a whole chapter. At the end, there are recipes using ingredients which nobody can reasonably expect to ever obtain. There is also a warning that your skin might turn orange or some other unnatural color!!!

What a tool this Dr Oz is: he’s loaded with ‘factoids’ and might be an OK researcher if kept on a very short leash, but he has no judgement and absolutely no logical skills whatsoever – he should never be allowed to treat anyone.

I gave the book away to a group of Oprah-loving women, with my note outlining where the funny parts were, and instructions that they must never return it. I’m sure they were disappointed, as the book is largely unreadable.

landlines on November 17, 2011 at 4:44 PM

TallDave on November 17, 2011 at 4:31 PM

Yes, and it’s “oggle” not “goggle.”

Sheesh.

Akzed on November 17, 2011 at 4:44 PM

Prince Harry, if yo are ever in my town I’ll buy you and your buddies pizza and beer!

Harry doesn’t look at all like Charles, as Wills gets ol0ler he does.

pabo on November 17, 2011 at 4:49 PM

Humans are omnivores, like almost all second or third tier predators. Their guts are optimized to digest both meat and plants.

Ignoring evolution in favor of a fad is a short cut to extinction.

mojo on November 17, 2011 at 4:29 PM

Absolutely right!

Humans also have teeth designed for an omnivore diet. Anthropologists easily identify vegan societies because their teeth wear down and they die young.

landlines on November 17, 2011 at 4:57 PM

Another PETA outrage: yesterday they asked the Mayor of the tiny town of Turkey Texas (the home of the great Bob Wills) to change the name of the town for Thanksgiving.

Their suggestion? “Tofurkey”.

http://www.valleycentral.com/news/story.aspx?id=687268#.TsWGbnKQ8xE

Del Dolemonte on November 17, 2011 at 5:03 PM

There is no way this cat could come from Princess Charles’ DNA.

Harry’s Dad was a mothafarkin PIRATE or something!

HondaV65 on November 17, 2011 at 4:02 PM

Well it seems you aren’t the only one questioning his parentage.

TugboatPhil on November 17, 2011 at 5:06 PM

Two women I knew, one my daughter, the other a co-worker, were both vegans. When they were pregnant, they both craved, I mean craved, cheeseburgers, the greasier the better. Their bodies were telling them something that they couldn’t deny. “You need meat. Your baby needs you to eat meat.”

Qzsusy on November 17, 2011 at 5:07 PM

Harry doesn’t look at all like Charles, as Wills gets ol0ler he does.

pabo on November 17, 2011 at 4:49 PM

Wonder if they would do a DNA test if he happened to inherit the throne?

Qzsusy on November 17, 2011 at 5:10 PM

I’ve been to Gila Bend many, many times on my way from Phoenix to San Digeo. Little Italy is fairly new, and by GB standards a high class joint.

Have fun Harry…shoot down 85 to visit scenic Ajo AZ, mysterious Why AZ, marvel at the beauty of Organ Pipe National Monument, stop off to watch the F18′s target bomb in the Barry Goldwater gunnery range, say hello to the Border Patrol at the various checkpoints you’ll be stopped at (bring your passport)and visit Rocky Point Mexico for the weekend. It’s only a two hour drive. Nothing like shrimp, seafood and cerveza on the Sea of Cortez.

DrW on November 17, 2011 at 5:18 PM

I should point out that Vegans are illegal aliens from the star system Vega. As a result, they do not have to eat the same things that Terrans (Humans from this planet) do. They also do not necessarily have the same standards of beauty that we do.

sabbahillel on November 17, 2011 at 5:24 PM

I would nail them both, then order a meat lovers and ask them if they want a slice.

Africanus on November 17, 2011 at 5:27 PM

I have a daughter-in-law that went vegan along with her mother when she was in her teens. For as long as I had known her she has had some mysterious illness that she had diagnosed as arthritis and then something else and then seomething else again.

Then mom rediscovered bacon. Then hamburgers. DiL stayed defiantly vegan. My son would happily eat anything he wanted when he wasn’t with her and nibbled salads with her.

Finally a doctor diagnosed her as being anemic and suggested she choke down some meat every once in a while and get back to him. In her mid 30s now and not believing she put everybody through such a wringer all those years.

DanMan on November 17, 2011 at 5:30 PM

Veganism is a religion.

Yeah, just like Christianity. How has that worked out for ya? The smug self-righteousness against anyone who doesn’t want to eat meat is right up there with the global warming proponents and anti-abortion nuts. They all tell you whats best for you. This is why libertarianism is the true conservative way to think. You do as you want, and don’t preach as to what is best for others.

keep the change on November 17, 2011 at 5:36 PM

Glad that Harry ‘Pot Head’ turned out good in the end.

lexhamfox on November 17, 2011 at 5:45 PM

Well, Pepper me Vegan.

If these two lovelies are the prize, but then maybe it’s all just like a carrot at the end of the stick if these two lovelies aren’t ready to put their lovelies where their mouth is.

Lawrence on November 17, 2011 at 5:48 PM

TallDave on November 17, 2011 at 4:31 PM

Yes, and it’s “oggle” not “goggle.”

Sheesh.

Akzed on November 17, 2011 at 4:44 PM

Actually, it’s “ogle”.

Solaratov on November 17, 2011 at 5:55 PM

Tina, why do you want to parade girls in bedroom wear before us? Is it because you are starved for hits?

AnotherOpinion on November 17, 2011 at 6:41 PM

Yeah, just like Christianity. How has that worked out for ya? The smug self-righteousness against anyone who doesn’t want to eat meat is right up there with the global warming proponents and anti-abortion nuts. They all tell you whats best for you. This is why libertarianism is the true conservative way to think. You do as you want, and don’t preach as to what is best for others.
keep the change on November 17, 2011 at 5:36 PM

Bit of projection there. Nobody here cares what vegetarians or vegans eat. It’s only those who lecture us on our dietary habits from their self-righteous pedestal that merit scorn.

My SIL is a vegetarian and we get along fine. So does her steak-loving and hamburger-loving hubby.

aunursa on November 17, 2011 at 6:56 PM

I would NAIL them both, then order a meat lovers and ask them if they want a slice.

Africanus on November 17, 2011 at 5:27 PM

Would you use a nail-gun, or a hammer and hand held nails?

: O

listens2glenn on November 17, 2011 at 7:12 PM

Tina, why do you want to parade girls in bedroom wear before us? Is it because you are starved for hits?

AnotherOpinion on November 17, 2011 at 6:41 PM

And the double entendres keep on rolling . . .

listens2glenn on November 17, 2011 at 7:15 PM

So the man likes a meat lover’s pizza. He also is training to be an Apache attack pilot. On my book, he can eat whatever he wants.

Of course, knowing vegan proclivities, they may found exemption to that too.

El Coqui on November 17, 2011 at 7:19 PM

keep the change on November 17, 2011 at 5:36 PM

Have christians criticized vegetarians for being vegetarian?

The only complaints I’ve heard is when militant vegans demand we stop being carnivorous. Kinda’ like the two girls who approached Prince Harry.

listens2glenn on November 17, 2011 at 7:24 PM

I have a niece, (liberal, and BTW thought her uncle was a war criminal)who is a avowed vegan. Preached it any time we had the misfortune of eating a meal out with my brother. While extolling the virtues of her diet to us in an Italian restaurant where my brother had taken his and our family, I noticed that she had ordered a cheese lasagna. I asked her why she would eat such a thing. She said she didn’t mind products from animals if the animals were treated humanely. I really quite enjoyed explaining to her what rennet was and where it came from.

Am I bad?

hawkdriver on November 17, 2011 at 8:15 PM

keep the change on November 17, 2011 at 5:36 PM

For God’s sake, you equate people having a moral opposition to abortion with people pushing veganism?

hawkdriver on November 17, 2011 at 8:31 PM

Best bumper sticker evah:

“I didn’t claw my way to the top of the food chain to eat vegetables!”

PackerBronco on November 17, 2011 at 8:53 PM

hawkdriver on November 17, 2011 at 8:15 PM

You also need to explain to your niece she is a vegetarian, not a vegan. Vegans eat no animal byproducts whatsoever.

NotCoach on November 17, 2011 at 9:23 PM

PackerBronco on November 17, 2011 at 8:53 PM

Hadn’t seen that one before.

It ROCKS.

: )

listens2glenn on November 17, 2011 at 9:29 PM

The women clad themselves in red pepper bikinis

Red pepper bikinis?? That had to hurt!!

p40tiger on November 17, 2011 at 11:59 PM

Then God blessed Noah and his sons, saying to them, “Be fruitful and increase in number and fill the earth. The fear and dread of you will fall on all the beasts of the earth, and on all the birds in the sky, on every creature that moves along the ground, and on all the fish in the sea; they are given into your hands. Everything that lives and moves about will be food for you. Just as I gave you the green plants, I now give you everything.”

Genesis 9:1-3.

So, there’s that…

Akzed on November 17, 2011 at 4:15 PM

Dangnabit, I had just looked that up and was about to quote it. LOL! :) :) :)

Before the flood, we were vegetarians. Afterwards, we were commanded to be meat eaters. I prefer it after the flood. :) :) :)

Theophile on November 18, 2011 at 4:51 AM

NotCoach on November 17, 2011 at 9:23 PM

I’ll post her number and you can explain it to her.

hawkdriver on November 18, 2011 at 6:21 AM

Those 2 women holding the signs in the main page look completely emaciated.

Have you ever seen a vegan that doesn’t look all pasty and unhealthy? It’s just not good for you. We’re carnivores for a reason. The body LIKES meat and uses it better than it does vegetables.

Sponge on November 18, 2011 at 10:36 AM

Am I bad?

hawkdriver on November 17, 2011 at 8:15 PM

Heh. Not for a war criminal. :)

But yeah, NotCoach is correct. Vegans don’t even use animal products. It’s a very difficult lifestyle to lead. I admire the ones who do so without making me regret their company, but the ones who can’t even live up to their own standards don’t even get my respect.

Interesting bit about rennet. I never knew that. Wiki says that there are non-animal sources for it for vegetarians, but it’s highly unlikely that any restaurant would use it unless they’ve said so in the menu.

Esthier on November 18, 2011 at 4:08 PM