Perry and the pigs Update: Moody response.

posted at 2:46 pm on September 1, 2011 by Jazz Shaw

Chris Moody, who’s been getting a lot of play in the blogosphere lately, comes to us today with yet another story about that mean old, animal hating, former Alaska Governor Sarah Palin shooting wolves from her helicopter. No… wait a moment. There may be an error or three there. Actually, it turns out that the state is Texas, the governor is Rick Perry, and the animals are pigs. Well, at least it still involves helicopters and guns.

When the new Texas state fiscal year begins on Thursday, more than 700 laws passed by the legislature and signed by Gov. Rick Perry this year will take effect. From hogs and helicopters to handguns and highways, here’s a look at five Texas-size laws about to go into effect in the Lone Star State:

1. It will be legal in Texas to shoot feral hogs from helicopters.

Starting Thursday, adventure hunters can legally pay for a helicopter ride and fire away at some of the 2 million feral hogs that roam the state.

State Rep. Sid Miller, who sponsored the legislation, says the animals cause up to $500 million in damage each year and that the new law can help reduce the damage.

The Fort Worth Star Telegram reports that Vertex Helicopters, a Houston-based company, has already reserved slots for 30 hog hunters, at a price of $475 an hour (with a 3-hour minimum), and that 60 hunters have taken the company’s required $350 safety course.

Before the law passed, it was only legal for residents to shoot feral hogs from helicopters on their own land.

Actually, Moody features five different laws signed by Perry, apparently trying to portray them as “bad things” for some reason, but we should take a look at them.

The first is just as described. So it will be legal to shoot feral hogs from the air. And? The feral hog problem has been out of control for a long time. They cause untold damage to crops and property, can carry contagious diseases and, yes, they can be aggressive and dangerous. A variety of types of pigs have been cross-breeding in the wild for along time, including both domestic swine, imported Russian boar and indigenous breeds. This has resulted in some fairly amazing beasts in the Hogzilla class. Plus, if you shoot them, you can sell them or eat them!

Mmmm… tasty, tasty pigs. Oh… sorry. Drifted off there for a moment. So what other new laws are being showcased?

2. The government will no longer fine you for catching fish with your hands.

It’s called noodling. And again… so what? It’s not my cup of tea, but if you’re inclined to climb into a muddy underwater hole in the hopes of having a fifty pound channel cat latch on to your foot, I don’t see where it’s the government’s business to stop you. Plus… tasty, tasty catfish.

3. It’s OK to bring your gun to work.

Don’t even get me started. I wonder how many employees around the nation wished they’d had the chance to be carrying when a deranged co-worker showed up to shoot the place to pieces?

4. I can drive 85.

Yes. The speed limit on the interstates will be going back up to 85 in some areas. Just try not to hit me if I stagger into the road after leaving the pub. Thanks.

5. Want to have a beer and see a naked lady? Pay the government five bucks.

So Texas is charging patrons of strip clubs a $5 fee, or “pole tax.” (See what he did there?) Perhaps annoying if you spend a lot of time in such places, but the money is going to support programs that aid victims of sexual abuse. If you can afford to stuff fifty bucks per night into some dancer’s undies, you can kick in five dollars to help the unfortunate. Deal with it.

So there you have it. Five new “controversial” laws signed by Rick Perry. Honestly, folks.. if this is the best you can come up with, just elect the guy now and be done with it.

Update: Chris Moody drops us a short note with his response. He comes from a long line of Texans and wasn’t really trying to criticize the laws in question, it seems.

“The article wasn’t written to cast judgment on those laws. I noticed they were going into effect on the same day and figured it would be interesting to round up the ones I thought people would enjoy reading about.”

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Those laws ought to be considered in other states (well, maybe not the helicopter one in states like Ohio, since we’re pretty densely packed). But feral pigs are a problem everywhere, and if you run into one in the woods, they have the capability to kill you.

RebeccaH on September 1, 2011 at 3:43 PM

If the lefties have a problem with shooting the pigs, mention that the pigs fart and are therefore part of the global warming problem. Guaranteed no more complaints.

txag92 on September 1, 2011 at 3:44 PM

Hunting
Fishing
Shooting
Driving
Drinking with strippers.

I think I might like Texas.

John Deaux on September 1, 2011 at 3:35 PM

Repeat after me:
Huntin’
Fishin’
Shootin’
Drivin’
Drinkin’

You’ll also need to know how to properly use the verb “fixin” e.g.
I’m fixin’ to go huntin’.

And yes, I’m serious.

TxAnn56 on September 1, 2011 at 3:46 PM

This is why I LOVE Texas!!! :D

Good thing I don’t have to worry about the pole tax. I don’t frequent places like that. However, I’ve seen similar stuff roaming around the pillars at Walmart. :o

capejasmine on September 1, 2011 at 3:47 PM

The Left keeps finding “problems” with Perry, but I just keep loving the guy more & more.
Keep up the good work, fellas!

humdinger on September 1, 2011 at 3:47 PM

If New Yorkers had 300 lb. rats running around, they’d be shooting them from space if they could.

RBMN on September 1, 2011 at 3:16 PM

We’d also hollow them out and rent them as studio apts. at $1k a month.

DrAllecon on September 1, 2011 at 3:49 PM

TxAnn56 on September 1, 2011 at 3:46 PM

Thank you very much for correctin’ my egregious error.

John Deaux on September 1, 2011 at 3:50 PM

I had a much better video bookmarked for quite a while. Private ranches have been using helicopters for eradication for quite a while, but it’s expensive and takes up man power. The new option makes this job break even for the ranchers now and the state has tried a number of humane eradication options before now. Helicopters are better for covering large pastures that lack accessible roads. Most northerner’s can’t conceive of thousands of acres of land being managed as a family business enterprise. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LGC1tjHCSVE

I live out in the land of 15 people per square mile and 80 mph roads…. I also drive a Chevy Suburban with a Ranch Hand bumper, have a CCL and kids who raise livestock and are competitive marksmen.

Feel free to envy me!

2nd Ammendment Mother on September 1, 2011 at 3:50 PM

Well dang, what happened to the Perry haters concerned uncommitted voters? This is next up on the “why Perry is unelectable” list.

cozmo on September 1, 2011 at 3:52 PM

How do we get rid of feral leftists?

faraway on September 1, 2011 at 3:52 PM

I’m in San Jacinto county just 10 miles N-NW of Cleveland. My land borders the Sam Houston Nat’l Forest. Lumberjack, eh? BearKat here. They play each other in Reliant this year.

cartooner on September 1, 2011 at 3:17 PM

I saw that in my alumni magazine. SHSU – that was Dan Rather’s alma mater wasn’t it?

Don’t know when you graduated, but in my era, they had those bumperstickers for all the Texas colleges that said for example “Lumberjacks and Longnecks – No Place but Texas”. Ah, those were the days.

TxAnn56 on September 1, 2011 at 3:54 PM

How do we get rid of feral leftists?

faraway on September 1, 2011 at 3:52 PM

Make hunting feral hogs mandatory in order to vote.

cozmo on September 1, 2011 at 3:56 PM

Chris Moody drops us a short note with his response. He comes from a long line of Texans and wasn’t really trying to criticize the laws in question, it seems.

And you believe this MSM slug, I take it?

Dr. Carlo Lombardi on September 1, 2011 at 3:56 PM

And you believe this MSM slug, I take it?

Dr. Carlo Lombardi on September 1, 2011 at 3:56 PM

I do, for this article anyway. Read it, its funny. And Texas lefty’s are different than lefty’s in other places. Molly Ivins herself would have had fun with these laws while not opposing them.

cozmo on September 1, 2011 at 3:59 PM

Guns, beer, BBQ, fast cars and loose women, what’s there not to like?

simkeith on September 1, 2011 at 3:14 PM

The best part is, the metrosexual yankee 0bama has been steadily losing the support of white males ever since he was elected. With Perry passing laws like this, he will pick up the support of all those white males.

UltimateBob on September 1, 2011 at 4:00 PM

I used to believe no state could be more pro-gun than Georgia…..I stand corrected, Texas is pro-gun nuts, I love it. If I couldn’t live in GA I would move to Texas, I like the way those folks think. As to the 85 mph limits…..driving 85 mph on Georgia highways makes you a speed bump.

David in ATL on September 1, 2011 at 4:07 PM

There’s a reason hog hunting is open year round, not just in Texas, but quite a few other states as well, instead of complaining about this new law Moody should grab a bow or gun and help get rid of them.

clearbluesky on September 1, 2011 at 4:08 PM

I have to say I didn’t get a negative read from Chris Moody’s story, so the update makes sense.

O.T. – For some reason I can’t look at the headline Perry and the Pigs without the tune Benny and the Jets running through my head.

Buy Danish on September 1, 2011 at 4:14 PM

Perry 2012 !

petefrt on September 1, 2011 at 4:16 PM

I went over t HuffPo to see if they had retired to the fainting couch over this, and instead I see Jesse Jackson jr playing the race card on Perry over the “slave amendment”.

Those Dems are scared.

juliesa on September 1, 2011 at 4:17 PM

Those Dems are scared.

juliesa on September 1, 2011 at 4:17 PM

You intrigued me so much I had to go look. If I had more hands it would be a double face palm. For the story, and the comments.

Former TEXAN – now I remember why I left .PERRY and all his kind are, were and always will make me SICK! No hope for me but why are so many voters opting for HIS AGENDA?

They are almost as rabid as the Perry haters concerned uncommitted voters here.

cozmo on September 1, 2011 at 4:25 PM

O.T. – For some reason I can’t look at the headline Perry and the Pigs without the tune Benny and the Jets running through my head.

Buy Danish on September 1, 2011 at 4:14 PM

THANK YOU!

That’s what I was going for when I wrote it and when nobody picked it up I figured it just wasn’t very obvious.

Jazz Shaw on September 1, 2011 at 4:28 PM

What’s not to love about Texans??

tarpon on September 1, 2011 at 4:28 PM

THANK YOU!
That’s what I was going for when I wrote it and when nobody picked it up I figured it just wasn’t very obvious.
Jazz Shaw on September 1, 2011 at 4:28 PM

You’re welcome! Now if I could just get that song out of my head…

Buy Danish on September 1, 2011 at 4:32 PM

There is a bit of a problem in reducing the feral hog population. What will control the water moccasins and rattle snakes? Those pigs keep the snakes down but I don’t think it’s worth it to have as many as we do. They do some real damage real fast rootin’ around at night.

DanMan on September 1, 2011 at 4:37 PM

How do we get rid of feral leftists?

faraway on September 1, 2011 at 3:52 PM

Good question. It would be unsportsmanlike to go after them with helicopters.

Funny, but unsportsmanlike.

Lily on September 1, 2011 at 4:42 PM

TXUS on September 1, 2011 at 3:40 PM

Well, if you need a hog hunter where is your ranch? Always looking for a place to hunt, even if its just for hogs.

catmman on September 1, 2011 at 4:55 PM

What part of varmint on my property isn’t understood?

There aren’t many public lands in Texas. Pretty much the whole state is private property. If I have an animal raising hell on my property then it is going to lose.

Limerick on September 1, 2011 at 5:00 PM

I’m against the “pole” tax. That’s money that could have been more efficiently used in the private sector. Funny how conservatives are against new taxes until they aren’t.

Free Constitution on September 1, 2011 at 5:20 PM

Free Constitution on September 1, 2011 at 5:20 PM

We like our Poles!

Limerick on September 1, 2011 at 5:23 PM

The hogs are a major problem all over Texas (probably all over the south, really). It’s fine to let hunters pick them off from the air, but it might be even better to let door gunners from Ft. Hood use them for target practice.

Blacklake on September 1, 2011 at 5:34 PM

I’m against the “pole” tax. That’s money that could have been more efficiently used in the private sector. Funny how conservatives are against new taxes until they aren’t.

Free Constitution on September 1, 2011 at 5:20 PM

True, a tax is a tax. Except this one is even weirder. The bigger problem I have with it (and I do not frequent strip clubs), is that it seems to imply a connection between strip clubs and domestic violence. There’s no such correlation of which I’m aware (it’d make more sense to levy that particular charge againt beer). If you’re going to impose a tax on a particular type of club, just impose a tax. Linking its revenues to a particular cause is bizarre.

Blacklake on September 1, 2011 at 5:38 PM

I’m against the “pole” tax.

Free Constitution on September 1, 2011 at 5:20 PM

How about a “flat” tax to boost the cosmetic surgery industry?

pedestrian on September 1, 2011 at 5:40 PM

“Pole tax” is just another form of “Sin tax” and I’m agin’ it. Besides, that extra 5 dollars could be split up between 5 nubile nymphets one dance at a time and help pay for their college tuition.

And I’m all for education.

44Magnum on September 1, 2011 at 5:57 PM

Tennessee has changed the wild hog laws and a farmer can now list TEN shooters to control the critters on his/her land.
No choppers but open season on wild hogs,strong penalties for bring in “Game Hogs”.

Col.John Wm. Reed on September 1, 2011 at 6:06 PM

Not to all Y’all.
TEXAS is a State as well as a STATE OF MIND.
10 years as an independent Nation tends to shape generations of thinkin’
Now we are Fixin’ to do supper,dinner is at noon.

Col.John Wm. Reed on September 1, 2011 at 6:15 PM

Col.John Wm. Reed on September 1, 2011 at 6:15 PM

Amen, Col.

catmman on September 1, 2011 at 6:29 PM

2. The government will no longer fine you for catching fish with your hands.

Noodling aka hillbilly hand fishing. The Nat Geo Channel has segments on hillbilly hand fishing. It’s old school why should it be illegal?

Dr Evil on September 1, 2011 at 6:52 PM

If you can afford to stuff fifty bucks per night into some dancer’s undies, you can kick in five dollars to help the unfortunate. Deal with it.

Today HotAir had both a guest post from Stormfront and a guest post from Mother Jones? What is this website coming to?

hicsuget on September 1, 2011 at 7:48 PM

1. It will be legal in Texas to shoot feral hogs from helicopters.

Dang, annoyinglittletwerp will have to find another candidate to support….

Gohawgs on September 1, 2011 at 9:05 PM

You’re welcome! Now if I could just get that song out of my head…

Buy Danish on September 1, 2011 at 4:32 PM

I could sing the theme song to H.R. Puffinstuff or the Banana Splits Show?

Random Numbers (Brian Epps) on September 1, 2011 at 10:25 PM

Hey you Texans. Hawk has bow, will travel.

hawkdriver on September 1, 2011 at 10:47 PM

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