Who’s up for a gay marriage certificate *lottery*?

posted at 8:45 pm on July 19, 2011 by Jazz Shaw

Old and busted: Lottery tickets that pay out cash prizes.
New hotness: Lottery tickets that get you a gay marriage certificate.

While I totally failed to get a new flat screen TV during the rioting and looting following the gay marriage apocalypse in New York, that doesn’t mean that the entire thing was a waste. We’re going to have a new lottery!

Fearing demand for same-sex weddings will be too great for the City Clerk’s Office to handle this Sunday, city officials have announced a lottery for weddings on the first day that gay couples can legally wed in the state.

Officials said couples could be stuck waiting in long lines all day and, though the city has added extra clerks for Sunday, ultimately would not be able to get married because of the high volume. The lottery will guarantee 764 couples — either opposite- or same-sex — access to marry at one of the City Clerk’s five offices Sunday.

The 764 couples to marry would be the largest number of marriages on any single day in city history.

Of course, as a friend just pointed out to me, any of these folks could just as easily head out of town and take care of things in some of the smaller, upstate towns. But I suppose that doesn’t have the same flair as doing it up in Manhattan. Reports continue to come in about the total lack of wedding planners available in the city and finding a hall for your reception (gay or straight) is pretty much a lost cause at this point. I suppose the lottery is a fair way to give everyone a shot at a license without collapsing in the record heat while waiting on the sidewalk.

What I’m waiting to see is the economic impact on the city for the third quarter. Expectations are high that there will be a temporary but serious economic boomlet coming from this.

Now if they could only pick up the trash on time…

Breaking on Hot Air

Blowback

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If you call 2 days a boomlet.

Rocks on July 19, 2011 at 8:48 PM

Perverts

Bubba Redneck on July 19, 2011 at 8:49 PM

Well, I’m already spoken for by my toaster

Kini on July 19, 2011 at 8:53 PM

Next up, Divorce Court Lotto

Kini on July 19, 2011 at 8:54 PM

If they can issue the lottery tickets, then the tickets can say “You are married.” and be done with it.

pedestrian on July 19, 2011 at 8:54 PM

You are on a roll today, Jazz. Well done!!!!!

Knucklehead on July 19, 2011 at 8:55 PM

nothing says “commitment” like a pick six or something….

ted c on July 19, 2011 at 8:57 PM

Well, I’m already spoken for by my toaster

Kini on July 19, 2011 at 8:53 PM

LOL!!

The Ugly American on July 19, 2011 at 8:57 PM

Well, I’m already spoken for by my toaster

Kini on July 19, 2011 at 8:53 PM

I’m leaving my husband for a prickly pear.

annoyinglittletwerp on July 19, 2011 at 8:58 PM

Now if they could only pick up the trash on time…

Might I suggest 5 locations in Manhattan on Sunday?

GarandFan on July 19, 2011 at 8:58 PM

I’m really sick of hearing about this shite…

Blake on July 19, 2011 at 8:59 PM

Cheesy publicity stunt.

When homosexual “marriage” was imposed by judicial fiat on Massachusetts, they had no problem dealing with the initial “rush”. A couple months in, requests dropped off to near nothing.

Gay marriage has nothing to do with “love”, and everything to do with advancing the progressive agendas of destroying religion and the destruction of the family. This is well proved by the near zero marriage rate after the first nose-rubbing is over.

Rebar on July 19, 2011 at 9:00 PM

I

’m really sick of hearing about this shite…

Blake on July 19, 2011 at 8:59 PM

DITTO!

Bubba Redneck on July 19, 2011 at 9:01 PM

Reports continue to come in about the total lack of wedding planners available in the city …

Of course, they’re planning their own gay weddings that day.

TXUS on July 19, 2011 at 9:03 PM

Classy.

kingsjester on July 19, 2011 at 9:04 PM

While I totally failed to get a new flat screen TV during the rioting and looting following the gay marriage apocalypse in New York

Well, that’s being obtuse. The damage done is something that will show up gradually over years and decades, for the most part.
You know, like the rest of cultural damage that sprang out of the 60′s.

Count to 10 on July 19, 2011 at 9:04 PM

Who’s up for a gay marriage certificate *lottery*?

FIFY.

steebo77 on July 19, 2011 at 9:06 PM

hotgayair.com

Kensington on July 19, 2011 at 9:13 PM

Can’t wait to see what happens when the divorce comes. Will they spin it as if it wasn’t a real, real marriage. Ala Rosie? LOL

capejasmine on July 19, 2011 at 9:13 PM

Who’s up for a gay “marriage“ certificate *lottery*?

FIFY.

steebo77 on July 19, 2011 at 9:06 PM

Do I have to scratch something and match up 3 peaches?

Electrongod on July 19, 2011 at 9:14 PM

The 764 couples to marry would be the largest number of marriages on any single day in city history.

That would be if you consider two homosexuals shacking up a marriage. I sure don’t, most of the people of the world, America and New York agree with me.

Tommy_G on July 19, 2011 at 9:16 PM

I love Gay Stories.

When I was about 19 I met a Transexual (not from Transylvania).

He was formerly known as William and currently known as Whilemena. Awesome wardrobe, BTW.

One night, Whilimena got the short end and threatened to throw him/herself into the Bay. As I ran after her/him, I yelled, “Pleases, don’t dive”. The bay is only 3 feet deep.

I watched Whilimena do a sudden, screeching halt. Before he/she hit the Bay at low tide.

Life saved.

Key West Reader on July 19, 2011 at 9:16 PM

This is all so irrelevent in the long run. Today people are choosing the sex of the child. When the gene for homosexuality is found and able to be identified in the fetus, I would think most people would abort a homosexual fetus,anybody that’s Pro Choice in any case. Does ANY parent particularly WANT a gay child? So as science moves ahead with the Genome Project and gays and the rest of the left support abortion, the combination of the two eventually results in no more gay people. Makes the Marriage “Question” a non issue in very few years…..There will be no more gay people. It won’t be “raining men” forever in other words…..

adamsmith on July 19, 2011 at 9:17 PM

Wow! Tough room tonight!

Jazz Shaw on July 19, 2011 at 9:18 PM

While I totally failed to get a new flat screen TV during the rioting and looting following the gay marriage apocalypse in New York,

HA HA, get it? Because, like, some people have cautioned about unforeseen consequences from redefining marriage for the first time in recorded history! What a bunch of rubes and prudes, right, Jazz?

All the smart people know that any unforeseen consequences would have happened at the exact moment the law went into effect, right? But they didn’t, so there won’t be any!

Outstanding commentary! This is the kind of thoughtful stuff I expect from hotgayair.com!

Kensington on July 19, 2011 at 9:18 PM

Wow! Tough room tonight!
Jazz Shaw on July 19, 2011 at 9:18 PM

Yeah. Almost like the majority of posters were Conservative, or sumpin’.

kingsjester on July 19, 2011 at 9:22 PM

Can’t wait to see what happens when the divorce comes. Will they spin it as if it wasn’t a real, real marriage. Ala Rosie? LOL

capejasmine on July 19, 2011 at 9:13 PM

Gays need “protection” as much as the Blacks do.
/puleeze.

\

Key West Reader on July 19, 2011 at 9:23 PM

adamsmith on July 19, 2011 at 9:17 PM

Okay.

/Less is better

Key West Reader on July 19, 2011 at 9:24 PM

Yeah. Almost like the majority of posters were Conservative, or sumpin’.

kingsjester on July 19, 2011 at 9:22 PM

Standing athwart history yelling “STOP! THE GAYS ARE COMING THROUGH! GET OUT OF THE WAY AND GIVE THEM WHATEVER THEY WANT!”

Kensington on July 19, 2011 at 9:25 PM

This is bound to rub some people the wrong way.

Dollayo on July 19, 2011 at 9:27 PM

Standing athwart history yelling “STOP! THE GAYS ARE COMING THROUGH! GET OUT OF THE WAY AND GIVE THEM WHATEVER THEY WANT!”

Kensington on July 19, 2011 at 9:25 PM

You really posted this? Really? And you don’t think that the posters on this forum might think you might be a bit slanted?

Do you only make seven bucks an hour working for Obama? We’re gonna check. So be sure to answer truthfully.

Best regards to you,

Key West Reader on July 19, 2011 at 9:29 PM

Key West Reader on July 19, 2011 at 9:16 PM

Huh?

steebo77 on July 19, 2011 at 9:29 PM

Let’s check back in a month a see how many are getting “divorced” and fighting tooth and claw over the loft in SOHO.

It’s all a parade…a charade.

Twana on July 19, 2011 at 9:31 PM

Soon coming to a theater near you …

BROKEBACK MANHATTAN.

TXUS on July 19, 2011 at 9:32 PM

Can’t wait to see what happens when the divorce comes. Will they spin it as if it wasn’t a real, real marriage. Ala Rosie? LOL

capejasmine on July 19, 2011 at 9:13 PM

Well at least there won’t be any children to complicate the divorce. Divorce and domestic abuse calls to the police are the only positives to this mess that I see. And that’s only because it will be so darn entertaining. They (homosexuals) want all the shiny perks of marriage, but none of the real responsibilities. Hey! Just like Obama and his presidency.

Tommy_G on July 19, 2011 at 9:34 PM

Huh?

steebo77 on July 19, 2011 at 9:29 PM

Yeah, It was a weird time back then. Dude ran for the Bay and I was thinking “Oh s,….” and then he dove right in in 3 feet of water.

His boyfriends were.. errr… upset. I was, too.

Key West Reader on July 19, 2011 at 9:35 PM

Let’s check back in a month a see how many are getting “divorced” and fighting tooth and claw over the loft in SOHO.

It’s all a parade…a charade.

Twana on July 19, 2011 at 9:31 PM

Time to Choose.

Key West Reader on July 19, 2011 at 9:37 PM

Standing athwart history yelling “STOP! THE GAYS ARE COMING THROUGH! GET OUT OF THE WAY AND GIVE THEM WHATEVER THEY WANT!”

Kensington on July 19, 2011 at 9:25 PM

They want your tiny little starfish, Kensington.

Blake on July 19, 2011 at 9:38 PM

Because this is really important and all right now.

RDE2010 on July 19, 2011 at 9:52 PM

Oh Ellen

Jeddite on July 19, 2011 at 9:53 PM

Disgusting!

sinsing on July 19, 2011 at 10:00 PM

No jokes about the backdoor.

docflash on July 19, 2011 at 10:35 PM

I thought you all spent years telling us to stay out of your bedrooms? Why invite us in now?

sandee on July 19, 2011 at 10:41 PM

The only winners in this game:

divorce lawyers.

Lawyers win everything.

rickyricardo on July 19, 2011 at 10:41 PM

“.. winners ..”

Pondering the future of a hi-school mate — the lesbian, family-stuff lawyer.
Yeah, that’ll end well ;-)

/.

CaveatEmpty on July 19, 2011 at 11:35 PM

. . . When the gene for homosexuality is found and able to be identified in the fetus . . .

adamsmith on July 19, 2011 at 9:17 PM

Now there is a nice piece of science fiction!

Bubba Redneck on July 19, 2011 at 11:44 PM

Huh?

steebo77 on July 19, 2011 at 9:29 PM

Yeah, It was a weird time back then. Dude ran for the Bay and I was thinking “Oh s,….” and then he dove right in in 3 feet of water.

His boyfriends were.. errr… upset. I was, too.

Key West Reader on July 19, 2011 at 9:35 PM

Just curious. Were his/her boyfriends upset because she/he was in fact a he or were they upset that he/she did not continue to jump or do you know . . . or care . . .

Bubba Redneck on July 19, 2011 at 11:51 PM

Rebar on July 19, 2011 at 9:00 PM

Yes, and ‘Vegas is the bastion for true heterosexual love and marriage. So much bigotry, so little time…

greeneyedconservative on July 20, 2011 at 1:57 AM

There must be 50 ways to leave your lover….

di butler on July 20, 2011 at 2:00 AM

There is no proof, whatsoever, that homosexual “BEHAVIOR” is genetic/innate. It appears to be a behavioral choice by those who cannot function normally with the opposite sex for one disordered/dysfunctional reason or another.

Dr. Francis S. Collins, Head Of The Human Genome Project and one of the world’s leading scientists who works at the cutting edge of DNA concludes that “Homosexuality Is Not Hardwired”.

sinsing on July 20, 2011 at 7:11 AM

Interesting isn’t it that ya’ll cite gay divorces as a reason to doubt the legitimacy of gay marriage as a whole. You’re ready to make the same conclusion about straight marriage as a whole, right?

Gabriel Malor on July 20, 2011 at 9:18 AM

Interesting isn’t it that ya’ll cite gay divorces as a reason to doubt the legitimacy of gay marriage as a whole. You’re ready to make the same conclusion about straight marriage as a whole, right?

Gabriel Malor on July 20, 2011 at 9:18 AM

Nope. It is the belief of most Americans that homosexual BEHAVIOR is disordered and dysfunctional behavior, which is engaged in by those who cannot function normally with the opposite sex for one seriously dysfunctional reason or another.

As there is no proof, whatsoever, that homosexual behavior is genetic/innate (no gene isolated for homosexual, bisexual, transsexual, pedophile behavior, etc.), it appears to be a mental and emotional disorder, therefore, the very idea that two people who choose to engage in same gender sex acts ought to marry is offensive to most Americans.

In every state (that is EVERY STATE – 31 in all), where homosexual marriage was decided by “the People” it was defeated. Judicial tyranny and the anarchy of this minority are responsible for the appalling notion that two people, of the same sex, ought to be permitted to marry.

sinsing on July 20, 2011 at 12:59 PM

Is anyone as tired of this gay crap as I am? Put them all in a room and let them do whatever they want, but I’m damn tired of hearing about it, seeing it, having it pushed down my throat, streets closed for “gay rights” parades, and all the other crap.
.
It looks like our only relief will be when we die. Gays certainly won’t be going to heaven (God clearly believed men and women mate. Most have noticed that’s why there are boy parts and girl parts, and they’re different). So they can go off to hell, and we normal people don’t have to witness it anymore…

stacman on July 20, 2011 at 3:51 PM