Esquire’s psalm to Obama

posted at 3:05 pm on July 13, 2011 by Tina Korbe

I really want to meet Jim Treacher, the mind behind The DC Trawler, because his sparely droll presentation of spectacular finds is always spot-on. Today, he posts this tidbit from a recent Esquire article by Stephen Marche, with no comment:

Before the fall brings us down, before the election season begins in earnest with all its nastiness and vulgarity, before the next batch of stupid scandals and gaffes, before Sarah Palin tries to convert her movie into reality and Joe Biden resumes his imitation of an embarrassing uncle and Newt and Callista Gingrich creep us all out, can we just enjoy Obama for a moment? Before the policy choices have to be weighed and the hard decisions have to be made, can we just take a month or two to contemplate him the way we might contemplate a painting by Vermeer or a guitar lick by the early-seventies Rolling Stones or a Peyton Manning pass or any other astounding, ecstatic human achievement? Because twenty years from now, we’re going to look back on this time as a glorious idyll in American politics, with a confident, intelligent, fascinating president riding the surge of his prodigious talents from triumph to triumph. Whatever happens this fall or next, the summer of 2011 is the summer of Obama.

Better satire I’ve never read … if only it were satire. I surely sympathize with the desire to celebrate something — and, let’s face it, politics brings us precious little to celebrate. But wow. I’m not sure I’ve heard any hero of the Right — not even the vaunted Ronald Reagan — so praised. And with such sincerity! The song only swells with every worshipful word of the article. Yep, in case there was ever any question, Marche clears it up: In the eyes of his disciples, Obama is still The One. Troubling.


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That Stephen Marche guy must be high on drugs.

SoulGlo on July 13, 2011 at 8:15 PM

If anyone ever writes anything like this about you, I have some suggestions.

1) Stay clear of being alone with them under any circumstances.
2) Don’t eat or drink anything they might have handled.
3) Avoid situations where they know a place you might be traveling alone.

Following this advice, should you ever be in this situation, might help avoid you waking up tied to a bed with both your ankles broken “so you can’t escape from their love for you”.

There’s a fine line between love and crazy stalker obsession… and Stephen Marche has crossed not just the line, but the horizon behind it.

gekkobear

You forgot one:

“Two words: Restraining Order.”

BD57 on July 13, 2011 at 8:24 PM

The ONE

Paens to Obama
The 57th. Psalm?
The world He caused disintegrates
By a socialistic bomb

Hosannas to Obama
‘Esquire’ doth make me sick
The unclean consider Him Deity
To me He’s just a dick

MaiDee on July 13, 2011 at 8:26 PM

I have yet to see anything semi-intelligent out of this President.

Unless I am amiss in not considering “eat your peas”, oration fitting a modern-day Socrates.

NoDonkey on July 13, 2011 at 8:40 PM

If anyone ever writes anything like this about you, I have some suggestions.

1) Stay clear of being alone with them under any circumstances.
2) Don’t eat or drink anything they might have handled.
3) Avoid situations where they know a place you might be traveling alone.

Following this advice, should you ever be in this situation, might help avoid you waking up tied to a bed with both your ankles broken “so you can’t escape from their love for you”.

There’s a fine line between love and crazy stalker obsession… and Stephen Marche has crossed not just the line, but the horizon behind it.

gekkobear

4. Lock up the sharps, and the firearms.
5. Send your loved ones to a secure location

massrighty on July 13, 2011 at 9:05 PM

Oh well, if the Emperor has no clothes, he’s easier to fellate.

Steve Z on July 13, 2011 at 3:38 PM

True, but in the case of Obama, it gets clearer every day:

The clothes have no emperor!

massrighty on July 13, 2011 at 9:15 PM

Man, does everyone have better drug connections than me?

Alden Pyle on July 13, 2011 at 11:29 PM

The turning point came that glorious week in the spring when, in the space of a few days, he released his long-form birth certificate, humiliated Donald Trump at the White House Correspondents’ Dinner, and assassinated Osama bin Laden. The effortlessness of that political triptych — three linked masterpieces demonstrating his total command over intellectual argument, low comedy, and the spectacle of political violence — was so overwhelmingly impressive that it made political geniuses of the recent past like Reagan and Clinton [FIG.2] seem ham-fisted.

I don’t know anything about Stephen Marche, but are you sure this isn’t perhaps an ironical piece? He strikes me through much of it as someone once enamored of Obama, but now mostly disgusted:

Meanwhile, his “balanced” approach to the economy has led to a slower recovery than other industrialized nations and the war in Libya has been half-assed at best, which is exactly what war cannot be. For two years, he seemed disingenuous and defensive, pushed into roles that his predecessors had scripted, alternately playing savior then monster. But no more. We can finally see who he is, we can finally understand the reality: In 2011, it is possible to be a levelheaded, warmhearted, cold-blooded killer who can crack a joke and write a book for his daughters.

If I were the subject of this piece, I would not be happy about it. Not at all.

SukieTawdry on July 13, 2011 at 11:37 PM

San Fernando Valley couldn’t write better pr0n than this.

Paid for by the Committee to Erect Anthony Weiner on July 14, 2011 at 5:14 AM

I’ll enjoy seeing this idiot (Obama) being impeached and booted from office.

zoyclem on July 14, 2011 at 7:20 AM

Salivating adulation for this doof is a total mystery to me. We have gone from a country with heroes like John Wayne to this wimp? Obama is no more an object worthy of worship than is Steve Urkel who BTW just may have been separated from the community organizer at birth.

Bert Convy on July 14, 2011 at 10:01 AM

SukieTawdry on July 13, 2011 at 11:37 PM

Beware the person who kisses your butt. He could just as easily bite it.

ZK on July 14, 2011 at 10:05 AM

I’d really like to meet Jessica Biel.

/it was worth a shot

ZK on July 14, 2011 at 10:05 AM

I can remember when I was a kid that Esquire was a men’s magazine. Now it’s a girly man’s magazine.

Ward Cleaver on July 14, 2011 at 10:27 AM

Ah, the messiah is ressurected in time for the next election! Marxists are just the most religious of folks….

Don L on July 14, 2011 at 12:39 PM

Unless I am amiss in not considering “eat your peas”, oration fitting a modern-day Socrates.

NoDonkey on July 13, 2011 at 8:40 PM

Give him credit will you. He said:Eat your peas, without his twin totuses.

Don L on July 14, 2011 at 12:42 PM

I would read that again, just to let it sink in that someone was actually paid dollars to write that, but the gag reflex would surely take over.

evergreen on July 14, 2011 at 2:34 PM

Fellatio Journalism

infidel4life on July 14, 2011 at 2:39 PM

Fellatio Journalism

infidel4life on July 14, 2011 at 2:39 PM

The Ghey-O-meter is pegged.

98ZJUSMC on July 14, 2011 at 5:08 PM

Because twenty years from now, we’re going to look back on this time as a glorious idyll in American politics, with a confident, intelligent, fascinating president riding the surge of his prodigious talents from triumph to triumph.

You mean George W. Bush?

BKennedy on July 14, 2011 at 8:17 PM

Jimmy. Carter. Part deux.

Dandapani on July 17, 2011 at 7:40 PM

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