Video: Japanese scientist discovers amazing, inexhaustible new food supply

posted at 9:49 pm on June 16, 2011 by Allahpundit

On the one hand, this does qualify as “science.” It’s a red-hot story on a variety of news sites this week. If mankind has finally solved the problem of starvation, you guys deserve to know about it ASAP. In fact, if this catches on, we might even eliminate the meat industry and lower carbon emissions by orders of magnitude. Rejoice at what human ingenuity and technological innovation are capable of!

On the other hand: Dude.

I warn you, what you’re about to see cannot be unseen. If you’re eating right now, stop, grit your teeth, and think of … progress. Exit question via Iowahawk: Isn’t this really just a big campaign metaphor?

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(Hmmmm, letmethink)No.

inviolet on June 16, 2011 at 11:33 PM

Not sure which is creepier…..

Eating human crap scraped from a sewer, or that human finger pointer the researcher is using.

UltimateBob on June 16, 2011 at 11:37 PM

9 seconds … that’s all it took.

Tony737 on June 16, 2011 at 11:44 PM

Cue Charlton Heston:

“Soylent Brown is people…crap!!!!”

Timothy S. Carlson on June 16, 2011 at 11:51 PM

This thread has got some of the funniest comments evah!

I think this one’s my favoite:

Apparently, they haven’t heard the expression, “Eat shit and die.”

NNtrancer on June 16, 2011 at 9:59 PM

HAHAHAHA

Tony737 on June 16, 2011 at 11:55 PM

Here’s a chance for all those eco-lefties to prove just how dedicated they are to the cause of saving the Earth. – Bishop

But that would be cannibalism!

Wouldn’t surprise me if they did, I mean, they have sh!t for brains, why not food?

Probably better than that OTHER crap they eat! haha

Tony737 on June 17, 2011 at 12:04 AM

Really, I don’t need meat that badly.

mizflame98 on June 17, 2011 at 12:10 AM

old news
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=008BPUdQ1XA

-Fat Old Guy

Fogpig on June 17, 2011 at 12:11 AM

I don’t think the cattle industry has anything to worry about.

Dollayo on June 17, 2011 at 12:15 AM

Kevin costner has the drink to go with it

kerncon on June 17, 2011 at 12:17 AM

Scientists make bad marketers.

Saltysam on June 17, 2011 at 12:19 AM

Puts new meaning on having to eat a $hit sandwich!

Saltysam on June 17, 2011 at 12:20 AM

I took one today that could feed a small village

Zetterson on June 16, 2011 at 10:04 PM

… best … comment … evah !!!

TimLenox on June 17, 2011 at 12:20 AM

DarkCurrent, I wish I could read all of that Japanese…I’m trying to learn more, but I guess I’m not sure what I should focus on first and what I need for “basic” vocabulary.

That being said, you COULD say まずい, but wouldn’t that somewhat imply wanting or trying to eat it or something? My old Japanese teacher said to only use it with food, and while this is technically food, I’m not sure I should use it…

JediArashi on June 17, 2011 at 12:21 AM

Eh, it wouldn’t be the first time that circumstances forced me to eat poo.

Kensington on June 17, 2011 at 12:28 AM

Ahhhh, don’t forget you are what you eat…

tinkerthinker on June 17, 2011 at 12:28 AM

Tastes like chicken?

FlatFoot on June 17, 2011 at 12:35 AM

Great, now I can never go to a Japanese restaurant and ask for the #2 special.

DrAllecon on June 17, 2011 at 12:37 AM

Great, now I can never go to a Japanese restaurant and ask for the #2 special.

DrAllecon on June 17, 2011 at 12:37 AM

*snort*

OldEnglish on June 17, 2011 at 12:45 AM

That being said, you COULD say まずい, but wouldn’t that somewhat imply wanting or trying to eat it or something? My old Japanese teacher said to only use it with food, and while this is technically food, I’m not sure I should use it…

JediArashi on June 17, 2011 at 12:21 AM

You couldn’t credibly say まずい unless you’ve tried it. You might say もうこんなにご馳走になって。。。  ;)

DarkCurrent on June 17, 2011 at 12:56 AM

Chef Anthony Weiner presents Shit Soup.

pat on June 17, 2011 at 12:57 AM

Don’t say まずい in any case

DarkCurrent on June 17, 2011 at 1:05 AM

Thanks to you I’ll never eat peanut butter again!

MaiDee on June 17, 2011 at 1:49 AM

Am I the only one who noticed the researcher’s own refrigerator was labeled, “Shit Burger”?

xdwall on June 17, 2011 at 1:52 AM

Technically, everything we eat is reprocessed excrement. That said, I do prefer a few more layers in the reprocessing chain, if only to screen out the viral and bacterial passengers.

Voyager on June 17, 2011 at 1:58 AM

Am I the only one who noticed the researcher’s own refrigerator was labeled, “Shit Burger”?

xdwall on June 17, 2011 at 1:52 AM

Nope. I paused the video at 1:34 and fell off my chair.

classicaliberal on June 17, 2011 at 2:16 AM

Actually I came across “the world’s food solution” researching a book; nutrition, endless supply, world wide, easily gathered, availble to all etc….

Jellyfish! look it up.

Don L on June 17, 2011 at 2:19 AM

Someone mentioned the pointer…

As bad as the turdburgers are — that disembodied hand with the bad nail polish job is damned EERIE!!!!

fred5678 on June 17, 2011 at 2:28 AM

What kind of crap comes from eating this crap? What I mean is how many times can it go through and still have nutrients left and be viable for another round? It’s not really endless now is it?

Pole-Cat on June 17, 2011 at 2:40 AM

Channeling ‘Galaxy Quest’…

That’s not right!

trigon on June 17, 2011 at 3:04 AM

Pole-Cat on June 17, 2011 at 2:40 AM

Perpetual motion?

OldEnglish on June 17, 2011 at 3:09 AM

I thought I was being save by not watching the clip due to my suspicious nature.

But dayum, why-oh-why did I read a few comments: fail, me.

davisbr on June 17, 2011 at 4:09 AM

I’ve read the Tuf Voyaging stories and the word coined for this way back when in the 1970′s was: meatbeast.

It sat in a large room in what would be the sewage processing facility, had a pipe lead into it and every so often someone comes along and cuts a slab off of it for distribution. And do remember you don’t process 100% of any vitamin pill through, and you do excrete more than just trace amounts of iron and calcium.

Sounds to me like the guy will have patent problems due to science fiction stories… and that is the definition of ‘living in the future’, btw. When real life catches up with SF, you are no longer living in the same world any more.

ajacksonian on June 17, 2011 at 5:41 AM

I’m not surprised by this at all. I read a small article about 10 years ago some “scientist” was telling people to eat their own snot. That it was rich in minerals.

When we’re left to ourselves, we are nothing but animals. Like a dog eating our own crap and we’ll call it brilliant! This is why we need God.

Hey, I have an idea to end starvation, spread freedom.

JellyToast on June 17, 2011 at 6:30 AM

“Shynola Burgers. For those with non-discriminatory tastes”

BigAlSouth on June 17, 2011 at 6:33 AM

Hurray for progress! This is quite literally Michelle Malkin’s “Crap Sandwich”!

DuctTapeMyBrain on June 17, 2011 at 6:59 AM

This stuff tastes like crap!

JetBoy on June 17, 2011 at 6:59 AM

Hey, I have an idea to end starvation, spread freedom.

JellyToast on June 17, 2011 at 6:30 AM

Simple solutions are still the best. Good on ya, JellyToast.

SKYFOX on June 17, 2011 at 7:34 AM

The Japanese are very strange! After this what’s next? Having sex with robots?

csdeven on June 17, 2011 at 7:46 AM

As my Mom once said to me: ¨You get hungry enough,you´ll eat ANYTHING. I´m gonna email her this link.

james hooker on June 17, 2011 at 7:48 AM

The Japanese are very strange! After this what’s next? Having sex with robots?

csdeven on June 17, 2011 at 7:46 AM

Female robots that consume – ah, er – “raw material” and – ah, er – “extrude” sausages.

While you are having sex with them, of course.

Hey – I’ve seen it on video. But all the “good” bits were pixilated, tho…

Timothy S. Carlson on June 17, 2011 at 7:59 AM

Even after processing, I will bet you will still find kernels of corn in those bung burgers.

David in ATL on June 17, 2011 at 8:00 AM

Gaia is pleased. And it only costs 10-20x the price of normal meat! And it will create thousands of green jobs. Let’s subsidize invest in this! We would be stupid not to!

bitsy on June 17, 2011 at 8:02 AM

My dog already invented this.

bitsy on June 17, 2011 at 8:07 AM

anyone else notice that the fridge has a sticker on it that said shit burger?

larry harris on June 17, 2011 at 8:13 AM

So your toilet is connected to your refrigerator? If you are starving you flush twice?

right2bright on June 17, 2011 at 8:21 AM

Congress will never be hungry…

right2bright on June 17, 2011 at 8:23 AM

The Japanese are very strange! After this what’s next? Having sex with robots?

csdeven on June 17, 2011 at 7:46 AM

I don’t even think that’s funny. It’s just taken to be fact :P

Glenn Jericho on June 17, 2011 at 8:27 AM

Like it or not, this is an idea whose time has come.

The obvious route for this product is to make it in large quantities and to feed it to our livestock animals. They cannot object to the source of the food and it will be far enough down the food chain to satisfy the most fastidious ‘end’ user.

Mmm…more Bacon!

Uniblogger on June 17, 2011 at 8:28 AM

Tagline should be:

S#!t Sandwich- The Radical Eco “Movement” Defined.

Glenn Jericho on June 17, 2011 at 8:29 AM

Perfect! Replace food stamps with this and see how many leeches discover their inner libertarian.

John Deaux on June 17, 2011 at 8:38 AM

anyone else notice that the fridge has a sticker on it that said shit burger?

larry harris on June 17, 2011 at 8:13 AM

Yes. I had to pause and drag the play head back.

It’s called “Engrish”. These turd burgers are going to be featured at the “Huge Crap Seafood Restaurant” (scroll down a few images)

Rod on June 17, 2011 at 8:43 AM

I’m sorry.
As much as I love corn…

mrt721 on June 17, 2011 at 9:14 AM

SOYLENT GREEN IS PEOPLE!!!!!!!!

Carl on June 17, 2011 at 9:15 AM

Soft-serve protein shakes…order up!

Greek Fire on June 17, 2011 at 9:29 AM

This is ripped right out of that lousy Sylvester Stallone SciFi movie from ages past, “Judge Dredd” where they had these rolling robotic kiosks roaming around blaring “BE KIND TO ONE ANOTHER! EAT RECYCLED FOOD!” and “RECYCLED FOOD! IT’S GOOD TO THE ENVIRONMENT AND OK FOR YOU!”

pilamaye on June 17, 2011 at 9:32 AM

Just think after people eat peanuts we could have extra crunchy s$%t burgers. Right next to the Big Mac at McD’s

This thread could go for days.

cjn on June 17, 2011 at 9:33 AM

Ladies and Gentlemen: Soylent Brown.

Hucklebuck on June 17, 2011 at 9:35 AM

My dog already invented this.
bitsy on June 17, 2011 at 8:07 AM

Mine ate cat poop right out of the litter box! Crunchy!

Mr_Magoo on June 17, 2011 at 9:36 AM

Do you get fries with that?

OldEnglish on June 17, 2011 at 9:37 AM

Blew lunch at 1:24.

Elaine: So how was it?
Jerry: As good as it gets…

“Turdburger” Snort.

“Hey you dang woodchucks! Quit chuckin’ my wood!” (Sorry, just watching a commercial while typing.)

Mr_Magoo on June 17, 2011 at 9:43 AM

Just don’t order your poopsteak rare.

elfman on June 17, 2011 at 9:52 AM

So your toilet is connected to your refrigerator? If you are starving you flush twice?

right2bright on June 17, 2011 at 8:21 AM

Ha! that reminded me of an old saying when I was in grade school 40 years ago:
“Flush twice. It’s a long way to the cafeteria.”

Tc0061 on June 17, 2011 at 9:59 AM

I like!!

This is what we do to raise organic veggies.
We take poo, sewage from hog lagoons and fertilize our plants. We raise clean veggies or feed corn to cattle and eat beef.

Just add 1 step and it is fine.

seven on June 17, 2011 at 10:17 AM

Made it to about 10 seconds. Whew!

Pablo Snooze on June 17, 2011 at 10:17 AM

Brown 35 brought to you by the Uranus Corporation!
h/t Kentucky Fried Movie

walkingboss on June 17, 2011 at 10:29 AM

Brown 35 brought to you by the Uranus Corporation!
h/t Kentucky Fried Movie

walkingboss on June 17, 2011 at 10:29 AM

Actually, it was in “The Groove Tube” and the product was Brown 25.

“At Uranus, things come out a little different”.

pilamaye on June 17, 2011 at 10:52 AM

If you all think this is uber-gross, then be sure not to think too hard about where your eggs, milk, and honey come from.

Nature isn’t sterile. Deal with it.

Uncle Sams Nephew on June 17, 2011 at 10:53 AM

And thus was the ending of upcoming Hollywood blockbuster “Soylent Brown” spoiled.

Blacklake on June 17, 2011 at 11:15 AM

Maybe they are ingesting through the wrong orifice….reminds me of Southpark Red Hot Catholic Love episode…good times.

m0nkeyb0y on June 17, 2011 at 11:33 AM

Cue Charlton Heston:

“Soylent Brown is people…crap!!!!”

Timothy S. Carlson on June 16, 2011 at 11:51 PM

Good! In fact great!

I did watch the vid, just the thought of it make me wanna gag.

Now, wipe that burger eating grin off your face

esnap on June 17, 2011 at 12:15 PM

Better off Ted, again predicting the future.
Taster: “This tastes familiar.”
Ted: “Beef?”
Taster: “No.”
Linda: “Chicken? We’ll take chicken.”
[shakes head]
Ted: “What does it taste like?”
Taster: “Despair.”

I miss that show.

DailyDanet on June 17, 2011 at 12:15 PM

Nope. Sorry.
I’ll try almost any food, at least once –
But one has to draw the line somewhere — and I do believe this is where.

Solaratov on June 17, 2011 at 12:46 PM

DarkCurrent on June 17, 2011 at 12:56 AM

What about おぞましい? Would that work to describe this?

Ryan Anthony on June 17, 2011 at 12:56 PM

Wait… you people don’t actually think this is real, do you?

LOL.

CoffeeMan on June 17, 2011 at 1:42 PM

Finally, a reason to rejoice about my acid reflux: I can’t eat meat.

I used to miss a good grilled burger. At least, until today…

karl9000 on June 17, 2011 at 3:38 PM

This doesn’t pass the sniff test.

And yes, that’s a pun, but I mean logically, it doesn’t make any sense. Just grow bacteria, that way you don’t have to explain that it’s from crap.

But it will probably still be more expensive than the real thing.

Merovign on June 17, 2011 at 7:58 PM

Soilent brown.

Nutty flavor.

And that nutty professor’s finger pointer has adult store written all over it….

Sherman1864 on June 17, 2011 at 9:55 PM

ウンチバーガー大好評!!!

Sherman1864 on June 17, 2011 at 10:02 PM

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