A Poem: My take on Weinergate

posted at 6:20 pm on June 2, 2011 by Tina Korbe

As the fallout from the Rep. Anthony Weiner racy photo scandal has continued, I’ve found myself increasingly frustrated at the story.

Don’t get me wrong: I think the alleged improper conduct of a Congressman is relevant to the public he supposedly serves, and, in this case, the increasing evidence of equivocation makes the story all the more comment-worthy. It’s also troubling if his Twitter account really was hacked. But, on some level, I just don’t want to hear any more about a guy I already found annoying.

I know, I know: The story has political implications. If he stepped down or, disgraced, decided not to run for reelection, Republicans could pick up Rep. Weiner’s district. But in the meantime, how many of my brain cells has this story already killed?

So, I wrote a poem and posted it to Facebook. A friend added a couple of lines (indicated below with asterisks). And that gave me the idea to post it here — because you Hot Air commenters have the clever market cornered. So, have at it: Add as many stanzas as you feel moved to write. When we’re all done with it, I think it could be lit-mag material.

The poem:

There is a story that I hate.

It is this thing called “Weinergate.”

We always knew he was a loser.

Why must he dominate my Google newser?

Wouldn’t want to speculate*

But maybe he’s a boozer.*

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Comment pages: 1 2

You guys are all great. But my vote goes to

Anthony Weiner
The Peter Tweeter

SoldiersMom on June 2, 2011 at 9:50 PM

flicker on June 2, 2011 at 11:12 PM

smellthecoffee on June 2, 2011 at 10:47 PM

I thought I’d drag my English major out and dust it off. Comes in handy now and then.

disa on June 2, 2011 at 10:51 PM

My dad was an English prof and so I got a certain amount of that by osmosis. He was one of Norton Anth of Poetry editors.

smellthecoffee on June 2, 2011 at 11:32 PM

Gotta be the thread winner! :)

KendraWilder on June 2, 2011 at 11:05 PM

But there are just so many good ones!!!

TheQuestion on June 2, 2011 at 11:52 PM

There was a young man from Queens
who lived the life of his dreams
until the day came
when he lived up to his name
and his Weiner got caught in his genes

Roy Rogers on June 3, 2011 at 12:24 AM

Roy Rogers on June 3, 2011 at 12:24 AM

+10 Two puns in one line. My hat’s off to you, sir.

smellthecoffee on June 3, 2011 at 12:35 AM

Where the Gray Briefs Grow

ted c on June 2, 2011 at 7:18 PM

The Charge of the Lithe Boner-gate

Abby Adams on June 2, 2011 at 7:21 PM

So cheating :)

Something Wilted This Way Comes.

Axe on June 3, 2011 at 12:47 AM

The Briefs of St. Agnes.

k,k, stopping.

Axe on June 3, 2011 at 12:48 AM

There once was a guy who cried “Hacked”,
but was lying and thereby got flacked,
and is feeling so grieved
that he’s scarcely believed,
I do hope the young lady was stacked.

John the Libertarian on June 3, 2011 at 1:38 AM

There once was a guy named Tony,
Who was forever known as a phony,
So to his great surprise,
Before his very eyes,
Saw his johnson become just baloney!

AReadyRepub on June 3, 2011 at 2:08 AM

As usual, Hot Air, gives U.S. in-depth analysis of what is taking place in D.C. and elsewhere in a manner that is so interactive.

You know he’s not a Hoosier

A Looser zip the trou’ ‘fore it’s to late

MSGTAS on June 3, 2011 at 10:01 AM

Tina,
You are a cute kid with, I’m sure, great instincts and conservative cred among your peers. The problem is we don’t really know you yet and this poem was pretty lame. Build relationships first then we will be more likely to overlook you silliness, and see it as a positive side of you. Take a page from Mary Catherine and Steven Crowder, they both have done it right.

SayNo2-O on June 3, 2011 at 10:09 AM

How about a limerick?

“There once was a man from Nantucket….”

olesparkie on June 3, 2011 at 3:04 PM

You are a cute kid with, I’m sure, great instincts and conservative cred among your peers. The problem is we don’t really know you yet and this poem was pretty lame. Build relationships first then we will be more likely to overlook you silliness, and see it as a positive side of you. Take a page from Mary Catherine and Steven Crowder, they both have done it right.

SayNo2-O on June 3, 2011 at 10:09 AM

Let the girl go…she has got wings now.

You don’t.

Mcguyver on June 3, 2011 at 3:26 PM

The famous poet Shortfellow wrote a poem that shall henceforth be used as a defense (along with Weiner’s photo) in all future paternity cases.

WEINER’s WEINER

Before the great jury
We are here to plea
With a staff like that
That is so wee
Who could he impregnate?
‘Tis hard to see
Certainly not you
Definitely not me
Not a small mouse
Nor even a flea

MaiDee on June 3, 2011 at 5:35 PM

There once was a liberal named Weiner
When questioned he only grew meaner
It wasn’t so cool
To be made such a fool
Where’s Huma you ask? No one’s seen her!

Roy Rogers on June 3, 2011 at 6:14 PM

Comment pages: 1 2