Who’s to blame for ‘bad boy’ behavior?

posted at 10:30 am on May 18, 2011 by Tina Korbe

Allahpundit already wrote “The obligatory ‘Schwarzenegger did a bad, bad thing’” post — and it’s true. The break-up of a marriage for any reason is no small matter. Add an affair to the mix and the situation’s still messier.

And, as many have pointed out, Schwarzenegger is sadly not alone. In a space of about three seconds, I can think of at least five public figures who’ve had extramarital affairs in recent years.

But men don’t become adulterers overnight. (OK, fine, if you want to be technical, but you know what I mean.) Maybe we should pay a little more attention to the upbringing of young boys, who face surprisingly significant obstacles as they attempt to grow up to be men of integrity. The Boys Initiative aims to highlight a few of these obstacles, and, yesterday, the group revealed some startling data at a DC briefing.

The figures are stark: Compared to girls, boys are less educated and more medicated. One in five men of prime working age is not working. Men have a life expectancy five years shorter than women. Male suicide rates start out equal to females, but steadily rise over the lifespan.

America ranks No. 1 in the world for the number of men in their 50s and 60s with college degrees, but it ranks only ninth for these degrees among men in their 20s and 30s, Thomas Mortenson, education analyst and board member of the Boys Initiative, said.

The statistics don’t stop there. Mortenson’s “For every 100 girls … ” project reveals more:

  • For every 100 fourth grade girls who watch TV four or more hours per day, 123 boys do.
  • For every 100 12th grade girls who used alcohol on school property, 148 boys did.
  • For every 100 girls suspended from public elementary and secondary schools, 215 boys are suspended. Boys are expelled at a rate of 2.97 to every 1 girl.
  • For every 100 girls diagnosed with a learning disability, 276 boys are. Boys are diagnosed with emotional disturbance at a rate of 3.24 to every 1 girl.
  • For every 100 girls ages 15 to 17 in correctional facilities, there are 837 boys behind bars. Men ages 18 to 24 live in group homes at a rate of 1.66 to every 1 woman in the same age range.

It’s no wonder Willie Iles, national director of government relations for Boy Scouts of America, had this to say yesterday:

I am convinced today that we have a national crisis, a national security issue, a state-of-emergency issue and a nation at risk. If anybody cannot understand that, as we talk about investments and the return on those investments – which are our boys – then it is very clear we are going in the wrong direction.

The point is, while the president has busily created a White House Council on Women and Girls and while women have continued to crusade for their own cause, boys have begun to fall through the cracks. And that’s a shame — because we need more honorable men. Just ask Maria Shriver.

So what can be done about it? Common sense suggests the small things. Maybe we should stop disparaging boys and start encouraging them. Maybe we should respect the differences between boys and girls and develop the potential in each accordingly. And, of course, we should continue to write the required posts about Schwarzenegger and others — because intact families surely help.


Related Posts:

Breaking on Hot Air

Blowback

Note from Hot Air management: This section is for comments from Hot Air's community of registered readers. Please don't assume that Hot Air management agrees with or otherwise endorses any particular comment just because we let it stand. A reminder: Anyone who fails to comply with our terms of use may lose their posting privilege.

Trackbacks/Pings

Trackback URL

Comments

Comment pages: 1 2

The bigger question is. “Who cares?”

Jayrae on May 18, 2011 at 10:34 AM

That personal responsibility thingy is certainly a pain, isn’t it?

kingsjester on May 18, 2011 at 10:34 AM

Bring back Jazz Shaw.

Emperor Norton on May 18, 2011 at 10:35 AM

Just saw a link with pictures of the woman. If he was wanting to cheat, he probably wouldn’t have settled for this one woman. Sorry, but she is not a real looker. This tells me that there are probably more.

This one just had a kid.

hawkdriver on May 18, 2011 at 10:35 AM

So what can be done about it? Common sense suggests the small things. Maybe we should stop disparaging boys and start encouraging them. Maybe we should respect the differences between boys and girls and develop the potential in each accordingly

This. Society Liberal Society has preached how men are so bad and unfair and don’t treat women right for so long, that it stands to at least argue that it was going to result in some kind of backlash. Cause and Effect. I still believe, though, that it comes down to effective parenting. Make your sons and daughters each feel important and loved and a lot of these problems would be lessened.

search4truth on May 18, 2011 at 10:36 AM

I’m not sure I see the usefulness of comparing boys to girls. It would be slightly more interesting to compare boys now to boys twenty years ago. Or US boys to Canadian boys.

I mean, if you’re shocked that boys are suspended and expelled from school more often than girls, allow me to introduce you to some boys.

S. Weasel on May 18, 2011 at 10:37 AM

Bad boys, bad boys, whatcha gonna do?

flipflop on May 18, 2011 at 10:37 AM

hawkdriver on May 18, 2011 at 10:35 AM

When he boinked her fifteen years ago, I sure she was a real looker.

Blake on May 18, 2011 at 10:37 AM

He’s a perfect liberal.

Jaibones on May 18, 2011 at 10:38 AM

The statistics are interesting, but most don’t apply to the an Austrian born in the 1940′s. Sure, there are myriad problems with the way young boys are raised but men fooling around is not a recent phenomena.

Maria knew who she was marrying. Given the family she came from she could have opted for a spouse less likely to philander, yet she chose one of the few guys on the planet more-likely-than-a-Kennedy to cheat. Maybe there is something lacking with the way girls are raised.

dedalus on May 18, 2011 at 10:40 AM

It takes two to tango , Shriver wanted a celebrity at all cost. There were no secret about Anhulds behavior.The maid wanted a money source.

The only innocent one in this is the child.

the_nile on May 18, 2011 at 10:40 AM

Having a moral compass is not gender-specific.

kingsjester on May 18, 2011 at 10:40 AM

He’s a perfect liberal.

Jaibones on May 18, 2011 at 10:38 AM

We only wish that infidelity was confined to liberals.

jake-the-goose on May 18, 2011 at 10:41 AM

Based on this line of thinking – are women more to blame for this lack of male integrity, being the cause-effect model – whereas women have more integrity?

Last time I checked – rates of married women cheating is up too…

If we are going to do comparisons – perhaps we could take a peek at the fly-by “marriage” rate of today compared to years past.

Marriage today is like a mortgage today. Most people shouldnt get into one – being most dont know what it takes to maintain one.

Odie1941 on May 18, 2011 at 10:41 AM

Nothing is said of the skank women that bed married men, I really hold them more responsible, as they truly do not give a wit about the man’s children.

tessa on May 18, 2011 at 10:41 AM

Arnold’s problem is that he never followed the legendary Paul Newman’s example.

A reporter once asked Paul Newman why he had never had an affair on his wife Joanne Woodward, especially with all the beautiful actresses he worked with.

Paul looked at the reporter and said “Why should I go out for hamburger when I have steak waiting for me at home?”

pilamaye on May 18, 2011 at 10:41 AM

There is another factor which contributes heavily to the delinquincy of males: many females in their younger years are mainly attracted to the “bad boy” mystique. I have known more than a few guys who metamorphasized from decent human being to a-hole because they were tired of having no game. Problem is they remained a-holes.

Kataklysmic on May 18, 2011 at 10:42 AM

“Thoughts for Young Men” by J.C. Ryle comes to mind.

vcferlita on May 18, 2011 at 10:42 AM

thank you Tina – great info to help shed light on a growing challenge for our society…

gatorboy on May 18, 2011 at 10:43 AM

Blake on May 18, 2011 at 10:37 AM

She may (and probably did) have a slimmer body 15 years ago, but the face is still . . . yikes!

AZCoyote on May 18, 2011 at 10:43 AM

I’m with the ‘Who Cares” crowd.

WE give these morons the attention. WE keep this stuff in the ‘news’ cycle as if it matters. WE are the ones who give these kinds of people TV shows, book deals, etc.

Perhaps if WE didn’t accept the glamorization of it so much and didn’t publicize it so much, it wouldn’t happen so often?

And Arny is from Austria. He was raised differently in another country. He lived his life womanizing, drinking, using drugs, etc. His behavior reflects that.

catmman on May 18, 2011 at 10:44 AM

Welcome to HotAir, Tina. :)

Brian1972 on May 18, 2011 at 10:44 AM

But Arnold grew up in Austria.

One of the things that has surprised me as I entered into the adult world of marriage and family is how flippantly some women talk about using sex as a control mechanism over their husbands (either giving it or withholding it to achieve some goal or another).

mankai on May 18, 2011 at 10:45 AM

Beta Males.

BobMbx on May 18, 2011 at 10:45 AM

The social beating of males does not end at adulthood. Look at the “Family Court” system and see the “Punish the penis” bias at every turn. Look at DV law and restraining order practices and learn how our society has demonized and marginalized males of every age.

Sinner on May 18, 2011 at 10:47 AM

But men don’t become adulterers overnight. in 15 minutes in the supply room.

FIFY

Rocks on May 18, 2011 at 10:47 AM

And Arny is from Austria. He was raised differently in another country. He lived his life womanizing, drinking, using drugs, etc. His behavior reflects that.

catmman on May 18, 2011 at 10:44 AM

Kennedy , Edwards , Newt…

the_nile on May 18, 2011 at 10:48 AM

I just don’t know. Some of the most trustworthy, seemingly moral men I know have strayed. Men who you would never expect to do such a thing in a million years. It’s heart-breaking.

sandspur on May 18, 2011 at 10:48 AM

Arnold is not a boy who slipped through the cracks. He is a wealthy powerful grown man who should know better. He threw his family away and yes I blame the woman too. Even if he and his wife were having problems having an affair with an employee and then keeping her employed with your love child under your childrens noses is the worst kind of example a father could set for four children boys or girls.

ldbgcoleman on May 18, 2011 at 10:48 AM

She may (and probably did) have a slimmer body 15 years ago, but the face is still . . . yikes!

AZCoyote on May 18, 2011 at 10:43 AM

Have you seen Arnie’s face…yikes!

Blake on May 18, 2011 at 10:49 AM

Bad boys come from bad parents.

blatantblue on May 18, 2011 at 10:50 AM

Marriage is a partnership. While the offending partner certainly makes the ultimate choice to cheat, most affairs have a long lead-up. The other partner bears some responsibility for creating a condition ripe for an affair in the first place.

Bee on May 18, 2011 at 10:50 AM

Yeah, its always the guy’s fault. Strange, there never seems to be shortage of married and single women that sleep with married men.

Bevan on May 18, 2011 at 10:50 AM

Feminism has ruined the male half of the species, turning everything that is traditionally thought of as male as wrong and outdated.

lizzie beth on May 18, 2011 at 10:51 AM

Who has their give-a-crapometer handy, I need to borrow it.

Dusty on May 18, 2011 at 10:51 AM

I was reading Peter Hitchens book, The Rage Against God, and one thing that struck me was just how shocked the British populace was at infidelity by their public officials a few decades ago. Nowadays we aren’t accepting of the behavior, but we also almost expect it – we aren’t horrified by it any more.

David Shane on May 18, 2011 at 10:54 AM

Sexual depravation in all forms is owned lock stock and barrel (couldn’t resist the 2cd amendment metaphor) by the liberals – they own it – hypocritical and often “fiscal” so-called conservatives strat into their territory -wherupon it instantly become a bad thing instead of “it’s just sex.”

The’re was a routine by the Smother’s Brothers where they’d make fun of the one three letter word you couldn’t say in school S…tee hee,E..tee hee,X…everyone laughs -now the same exact routine sould sound like this; “What are the three letters they wont let us use in school?”

“G”,..oh don’t go there…”O’, you’re evil….”D”…gasp!
Teacher! He said God – call the police!

G,,

Don L on May 18, 2011 at 10:57 AM

Anyone else find it a bit weird that Drudge has not posted anything about this story?

YYZ on May 18, 2011 at 10:59 AM

Kennedy , Edwards , Newt…

the_nile on May 18, 2011 at 10:48 AM

Yeah, but what are the thoughts on infidelity in Austria (or Europe)? The reason WE here in the US find it reprehensible is we are raised with a different set of values as opposed to others in other countries.

I’m not excusing anything, don’t get me wrong.

And what about the WOMAN Arny slept with? She knew who he was and he was married. I can only assume she remembered she herself was married.

She’s just as guilty as he. Let’s not lose focus and take down only Arny on this one. She’s equally deserving of our derision.

catmman on May 18, 2011 at 10:59 AM

So what can be done about it?

How about we simply acknowledge that there are inherent differences between boys and girls and stop trying to make them statistically equal???

Aquateen Hungerforce on May 18, 2011 at 11:00 AM

Maybe we should stop mollycoddling them and worrying about their self-esteem and allow them to be boys who play dodgeball and get hurt. Maybe we should expect them to grow up and be men instead of sensitve guys in touch with their feminine side. Maybe bad behavior should have consequences that would discourage future bad behavior.

John Deaux on May 18, 2011 at 11:00 AM

thank you Tina – great info to help shed light on a growing challenge for our society…

gatorboy on May 18, 2011 at 10:43 AM

In what way is boys being different from girls a “growing challenge for our society?”

Aquateen Hungerforce on May 18, 2011 at 11:02 AM

This is a “national security issue” to Willie Iles?

Sweet mother of cream cheese.

Aquateen Hungerforce on May 18, 2011 at 11:04 AM

•For every 100 fourth grade girls who watch TV four or more hours per day, 123 boys do.
•For every 100 12th grade girls who used alcohol on school property, 148 boys did.
•For every 100 girls suspended from public elementary and secondary schools, 215 boys are suspended. Boys are expelled at a rate of 2.97 to every 1 girl.
•For every 100 girls diagnosed with a learning disability, 276 boys are. Boys are diagnosed with emotional disturbance at a rate of 3.24 to every 1 girl.
•For every 100 girls ages 15 to 17 in correctional facilities, there are 837 boys behind bars. Men ages 18 to 24 live in group homes at a rate of 1.66 to every 1 woman in the same age range.

Love your work here Tina, but there may be a surprise for some folks is you add the fourth dimension of time to some of this type of data. For example, try to track almost any of the statistical data on America’s major social ills (divorce rates, teen pregnancy, unwed mothers, incarceration rates, and on and on) back to sometime around 1950, and something starts to become apparent in the resulting charts. Sometime in the mid 1960′s something began a rapid change for the worse. That change explodes around 1970, give or take a couple of years.

What happened during that time that could have such an impact? Well, for one thing; there was the SCOTUS ruling of Abington Township School District v. Schempp in 1963. Soon after that America began producing millions of public school graduates who were educated by institutions that actively worked to exclude religious concepts from the education process. By 1974 high school graduates had spent their entire school careers in education systems dictated to by atheists.

Perhaps that has nothing to do with any of the current problems we face, but the timing is certainly curious.

MikeA on May 18, 2011 at 11:07 AM

Unless an affair is homosexual, it takes a member of the opposite sex to voluntary and willingly participate. In this case the other women knew that the affair was adultery and did it anyway.

It seems our new girl is more K.P. than M.M.

meci on May 18, 2011 at 11:08 AM

Aquateen Hungerforce on May 18, 2011 at 11:00 AM

Exactly.
Treating boys as boys, not medicating them for said boy behavior, and offering them constructive outlets for their unique energy would go along way. (Have a 7 year old boy–well acquainted with it.) Fathers are also invaluable.

Bee on May 18, 2011 at 11:11 AM

I’m a little slow this morning. I just don’t get the connection between the feminization, drugging and shaming of boys in school (which is real and does a horrible disservice to boys) and powerful men (or even beta males) cheating on their spouses.

It seems to me, that the boys mistreated in such a way would be less likely to marry or have longterm relationships and, therefore, less likely to cheat.

Fallon on May 18, 2011 at 11:11 AM

A reporter once asked Paul Newman why he had never had an affair on his wife Joanne Woodward, especially with all the beautiful actresses he worked with.

Paul looked at the reporter and said “Why should I go out for hamburger when I have steak waiting for me at home?”

pilamaye on May 18, 2011 at 10:41 AM

Marriage is a partnership. While the offending partner certainly makes the ultimate choice to cheat, most affairs have a long lead-up. The other partner bears some responsibility for creating a condition ripe for an affair in the first place.

Bee on May 18, 2011 at 10:50 AM

I agree with both sentiments and they often to lead to wonder — how could he cheat when his wife is so beautiful, with a great figure, and charm, intelligence and wit.
Well it would seem that a beautiful face is not so beautiful if it is usually turned in anger or derision. A wonderful figure is not that great if the husband rarely if ever gets to see it or touch it. Charm, intelligence, and wit are not much use if every conversation eventually ends in a husband-bashing.

Just saw a link with pictures of the woman. . . . Sorry, but she is not a real looker. . . .
hawkdriver on May 18, 2011 at 10:35 AM

Maybe she was just nice to him.

ncc770 on May 18, 2011 at 11:14 AM

Bee on May 18, 2011 at 11:11 AM

I actually think that is gatorboy’s point. As a society, we aren’t allowing our boys to be boysboys; society is trying to make them fit into a ‘girly’ mode. Heck, they don’t even keep score in pee-wee team games because their feelings might get hurt if they lose.

ladyingray on May 18, 2011 at 11:15 AM

Feminism has ruined the male half of the species, turning everything that is traditionally thought of as male as wrong and outdated.

lizzie beth on May 18, 2011 at 10:51 AM

Yep, exactly my thoughts.

carbon_footprint on May 18, 2011 at 11:16 AM

Tina,

Thanks for the post. It is a crisis. We have a generation (or more) of males that are acting like teens into their thirties. The guy in most movies or tv shows is usually a fool that has to be taught a lesson by his wife or children.

Organizations like the Boy Scouts are so important these days. Of course it all starts at home. Teaching the children integrity, honesty, hard work, taking responsibility for your own actions and respect.

Not to get AP fired up, but it helps to have a religious centered life as well.

Thanks again Tina.

Texican Ben on May 18, 2011 at 11:16 AM

I blame …Bush for the strayin’
/

Electrongod on May 18, 2011 at 11:17 AM

Love your work here Tina, but there may be a surprise for some folks is you add the fourth dimension of time to some of this type of data. For example, try to track almost any of the statistical data on America’s major social ills (divorce rates, teen pregnancy, unwed mothers, incarceration rates, and on and on) back to sometime around 1950, and something starts to become apparent in the resulting charts. Sometime in the mid 1960′s something began a rapid change for the worse. That change explodes around 1970, give or take a couple of years.

What happened during that time that could have such an impact? Well, for one thing; there was the SCOTUS ruling of Abington Township School District v. Schempp in 1963. Soon after that America began producing millions of public school graduates who were educated by institutions that actively worked to exclude religious concepts from the education process. By 1974 high school graduates had spent their entire school careers in education systems dictated to by atheists.

Perhaps that has nothing to do with any of the current problems we face, but the timing is certainly curious.
MikeA

The sixties are precisly the cause of the sexual depravity. Though purity wasn’t perfect, it was universally comndemed by family values society. The revolution of the sixties was precisly one against all moral and conservative authority -the left swooped into power with their immorality and dumped God to the cheers of many who would rather be on the other side. Since then America had fallen like a diseased giant. The godless left instigated and engineered the entire thing.

Don L on May 18, 2011 at 11:17 AM

Ladies, if you want to keep your man, give hie what he needs, lovingly and often. It’s just that simple.

Kenosha Kid on May 18, 2011 at 11:20 AM

Arnold’s problem is that he never followed the legendary Paul Newman’s example.

A reporter once asked Paul Newman why he had never had an affair on his wife Joanne Woodward, especially with all the beautiful actresses he worked with.

Paul looked at the reporter and said “Why should I go out for hamburger when I have steak waiting for me at home?”

pilamaye on May 18, 2011 at 10:41 AM

And let’s not forget that Paulie was as Far Left as they come.

And he was also a “Race Fan”, which drives the Left nuts. How can they paint the Right as dumb hicks who like NASCAR when one of their own was a leader in the car racing field himself?

Del Dolemonte on May 18, 2011 at 11:21 AM

Fallon on May 18, 2011 at 11:11 AM

You’re not slow–it does seem like two distinct issues. Infidelity happens for enumerable reasons, irrespective of status. I’ve not any recent studies specifically linking certain childhood behavior with adultery, either. (I could be wrong.) But I do agree with her final point that our boys would be better served by recognizing and fostering their unique traits.

Bee on May 18, 2011 at 11:21 AM

There has been a war on boys for at least thirty years now. I have never understood the promotion of “equality” by tearing down the intended pinnacle. Let’s all aspire to mediocrity.

Cindy Munford on May 18, 2011 at 11:21 AM

Paul looked at the reporter and said “Why should I go out for hamburger when I have steak waiting for me at home?”

pilamaye on May 18, 2011 at 10:41 AM

My line to my faithful wife 52 years ago was, “Why should I look for a used Chevy when I found a new Caddy.”

Don L on May 18, 2011 at 11:23 AM

ladyingray on May 18, 2011 at 11:15 AM

You mean Aquateen? I didn’t see gatorboy’s post. But, yeah I agree. I was just reiterating. :)

Bee on May 18, 2011 at 11:23 AM

Have you seen Arnie’s face…yikes!

Blake on May 18, 2011 at 10:49 AM

Yes, but he’s still cuter than she is. ;)

AZCoyote on May 18, 2011 at 11:24 AM

It’s all Bush’s fault. And Sarah Palin. And global warming. And the tea party. And the military-industrial complex. It’s all the fault of the oil companies. And speculators.

Did I leave anyone out?

rmgraha on May 18, 2011 at 11:24 AM

Arnie did what felt good to him because, you know, he deserves it.

Liberals want the worlds largest dependent welfare state, excluding American values and principles and destroying the nuclear family by beating down men is the control method of choice of Democrats dating back to slavery days.

They control the influence machine, no surprise they’ve seen success.

Speakup on May 18, 2011 at 11:25 AM

Maybe we should stop disparaging boys and start encouraging them. Maybe we should respect the differences between boys and girls and develop the potential in each accordingly.

Y’mean like lowering physical qualification standards in certain jobs so female quotas can be filled? Like that?

a capella on May 18, 2011 at 11:27 AM

Ladies, if you want to keep your man, give hie what he needs, lovingly and often. It’s just that simple.

Kenosha Kid on May 18, 2011 at 11:20 AM

oh word!

blatantblue on May 18, 2011 at 11:27 AM

You mean Aquateen? I didn’t see gatorboy’s post. But, yeah I agree. I was just reiterating. :)

Bee on May 18, 2011 at 11:23 AM

Aquateen was quoting gatorboy. :)

Raising a son is hard work. It’s hard to teach him to respect women with the way girls dress like tramps. I have always told mother’s of girls if you want my son to gawk at your daughter, let her dress like a slut.

And it’s really difficult when the father doesn’t have the same standard that you do…

ladyingray on May 18, 2011 at 11:29 AM

Maybe ditch the public school system.

Starlink on May 18, 2011 at 10:35 AM

Amen.

Daddy-O on May 18, 2011 at 11:31 AM

Example: My son in 4th grade was in the gifted program. His teacher called us in for a conference to let us know he was “fidgity”. She suggested he had ADD, I suggested she was not in control of her class. The wife, cooler head, suggested a Doctor visit to see. Reluctantly I agreed. After some tests the Pediatrician came out and said ” It’s just as I suspected, he’s 9 “. Bore us and we will wander. No drugs, new teacher and last weekend he graduated from Penn State with a degree in Electrical Engineering and already has a job. IN YOUR FACE Mrs. Palace!

faol on May 18, 2011 at 11:32 AM

Ladies, if you want to keep your man, give hie what he needs, lovingly and often. It’s just that simple.

Kenosha Kid on May 18, 2011 at 11:20 AM

That wouldn’t have made any difference. Like most famous people, Arnie is a narcassist. Like Edwards. Like Clinton. Like the IMF guy. They believe they are entitled to what they want. Period.

ladyingray on May 18, 2011 at 11:32 AM

pilamaye on May 18, 2011 at 10:41 AM

You do realize that Joanne was Paul Newman’s second wife, right? He met her on a movie set in 1957, when he was still married to his first wife Jackie, with whom he had three children. In 1958, Newman divorced Jackie and married Joanne a few months later.

His second marriage obviously worked out better for him than the first, but he still may not be the best candidate as poster boy for marital fidelity.

AZCoyote on May 18, 2011 at 11:36 AM

Bring back Jazz Shaw.

Emperor Norton on May 18, 2011 at 10:35 AM

Well, I think we have to give Tina some time to develop a “blogger personality” and her own voice as a writer, which if I remember correctly from Ed’s summary she hasn’t really developed. That said, this article was pretty lame.

DaydreamBeliever on May 18, 2011 at 11:36 AM

Marriage today is like a mortgage today. Most people shouldnt get into one – being most dont know what it takes to maintain one.

Odie1941 on May 18, 2011 at 10:41 AM

Unmarrieds should understand that marriage is like an old house. You have to work on it everyday to built it into what you want.

roy_batty on May 18, 2011 at 11:37 AM

Ladies, if you want to keep your man, give hie what he needs, lovingly and often. It’s just that simple.

Kenosha Kid on May 18, 2011 at 11:20 AM

I had heard that, during the ante-bellum period, that a slave girl could reduce the intensity of beatings by giving her master what he needs, lovingly and often. It was that simple.

unclesmrgol on May 18, 2011 at 11:38 AM

ladyingray on May 18, 2011 at 11:29 AM

Oops. COMPLETELY missed that. ha. Apologies to gatorboy!

Bee on May 18, 2011 at 11:39 AM

My father told me when I was just 19 and devastated by a breakup with a cheating boyfriend that men will cheat, because “a stiff d*** has no conscience.” This has been true since time immemorial. Marriage vows are the hardest promise in the world to keep. What is different nowadays is the lack of consequence, and the participation by seemingly good women.

The idea of convenant marriages and more religious training for couples before marriage is one that could help reverse this tide. Marriage vows are taken before God, but few married people of either gender seem to understand or appreciate the gravity of that anymore. “Forsaking all others” should mean something, and not just coughing up a lot of dough to the other woman after the fact.

rockmom on May 18, 2011 at 11:39 AM

Example: My son in 4th grade was in the gifted program. His teacher called us in for a conference to let us know he was “fidgity”. She suggested he had ADD, I suggested she was not in control of her class. The wife, cooler head, suggested a Doctor visit to see. Reluctantly I agreed. After some tests the Pediatrician came out and said ” It’s just as I suspected, he’s 9 “. Bore us and we will wander. No drugs, new teacher and last weekend he graduated from Penn State with a degree in Electrical Engineering and already has a job. IN YOUR FACE Mrs. Palace!

faol on May 18, 2011 at 11:32 AM

Well done on the parenting side faol, well done! My oldest just made Eagle Scout and was accepted into St. Andrews Scotland this year.

We were told many times by his 3rd grade teacher, Mrs. Allyn that he was a distraction to the class and should be on medication. The implication that he had ADD was not subtle.

roy_batty on May 18, 2011 at 11:41 AM

Example: My son in 4th grade was in the gifted program. His teacher called us in for a conference to let us know he was “fidgity”. She suggested he had ADD, I suggested she was not in control of her class. The wife, cooler head, suggested a Doctor visit to see. Reluctantly I agreed. After some tests the Pediatrician came out and said ” It’s just as I suspected, he’s 9 “. Bore us and we will wander. No drugs, new teacher and last weekend he graduated from Penn State with a degree in Electrical Engineering and already has a job. IN YOUR FACE Mrs. Palace!

faol on May 18, 2011 at 11:32 AM

Excellent and might I add this, Hollywood turning men into girls and Hollywood-groupies who do the same with their boys are partly to blame for this. Secret feminist goal – no real men left on the planet – they want all men to be like our girly-mon president. As for Arnold Shriver-Kennedy, not worth comment.

uber-con on May 18, 2011 at 11:42 AM

That wouldn’t have made any difference. Like most famous people, Arnie is a narcassist. Like Edwards. Like Clinton. Like the IMF guy. They believe they are entitled to what they want. Period.

ladyingray on May 18, 2011 at 11:32 AM

I still don’t understand them. Obviously, emotional involvement is lacking. We married guys can get the same thing, only better, from our wives. If the stars line up right, they enjoy it too. Scratches head and walks away, mumbling to self.

a capella on May 18, 2011 at 11:44 AM

Adultery was forbidden in the Ten Commandments 3,500 years ago, so it’s not like “bad boys” just discovered it.

And don’t forget, for every bad boy adulterer there’s a bad girl.

Sheesh.

Akzed on May 18, 2011 at 11:45 AM

A reporter once asked Paul Newman why he had never had an affair on his wife Joanne Woodward, especially with all the beautiful actresses he worked with.

Paul looked at the reporter and said “Why should I go out for hamburger when I have steak waiting for me at home?”

pilamaye on May 18, 2011 at 10:41 AM

He “sent out” for one of his steaks.

unclesmrgol on May 18, 2011 at 11:46 AM

I am not thrilled at a bunch of cherry-picked statistics that have an agenda behind them. We explode those kinds of false-parallels all the time, claiming that correlation is not causation. And, as many have pointed out above, how do these numbers compare over time? How do the rates compare? There is a lot else going on besides these raw numbers:

For every 100 fourth grade girls who watch TV four or more hours per day, 123 boys do.
Why did they have all this time available? What were they watching?

For every 100 12th grade girls who used alcohol on school property, 148 boys did.
Students can be disciplined for even drawing a picture of something resembling a gun. Therefore, please define “used alcohol”.

For every 100 girls suspended from public elementary and secondary schools, 215 boys are suspended.
Suspended for what – restlessness? Playing more roughly than a molly-coddling teacher likes? Engaging in jibes and insults with their buddies? A comparison of the ‘crimes’ would be in order here.

For every 100 girls diagnosed with a learning disability, 276 boys are.
Please define “emotional disturbance”. Anything not adhering strictly to a normative behavioral model is nowadays termed “disturbed”. Do you agree with those definitions?

For every 100 girls ages 15 to 17 in correctional facilities, there are 837 boys behind bars.
What are the crimes? Did the study examine exhibitions of leadership in these boys? Risk taking? Those are at least as significant as the raw numbers are.

ss396 on May 18, 2011 at 11:46 AM

People are to blame for their own bad behavior. There are too many examples of people rising above their raising to achieve personal success (not necessarily financial). That said, the effort over the past decades to feminize boys and create equivalency between men and women has not helped. There is nothing wrong with encouraging girls to be all they can be, but they aren’t boys and never will be men. Likewise, stuffing boys into a girl mold will only distort the boy into something less than either.

SKYFOX on May 18, 2011 at 11:47 AM

Well, I think we have to give Tina some time to develop a “blogger personality” and her own voice as a writer…
DaydreamBeliever on May 18, 2011 at 11:36 AM

Definitely a process. I’m still not totally there (probably due to the fact that I rarely write).

ladyingray on May 18, 2011 at 11:29 AM

Forgot to add: I agree with raising each gender differently, and what a tough job it is to properly “channel” boys while instructing (and protecting) our girls. We’re currently dealing with our 7 year old’s inexplicable aggression when he’s physically hurt. His autism contributes to this, no doubt, but it’s still hard to redirect that every time. I hear it’s all about consistency and good outlets for their energy. Karate, maybe!

Bee on May 18, 2011 at 11:47 AM

And don’t forget, for every bad boy adulterer there’s a bad girl.

Sheesh.

Akzed on May 18, 2011 at 11:45 AM

Not entirely clear. There’s only one prostitute down at Main and 2nd.

unclesmrgol on May 18, 2011 at 11:47 AM

That said, this article was pretty lame.
DaydreamBeliever on May 18, 2011 at 11:36 AM

She’s not used to working in her pajamas. Give her time.

Akzed on May 18, 2011 at 11:49 AM

ss396 on May 18, 2011 at 11:46 AM

There’s something wrong, according to the statistics. Determining which of the variables is the cause and which is the effect is a matter for science. Suffice to say — there’s something wrong.

Perhaps males got the short end of the evolutionary stick — were we intended to be eaten by the female after sex?

unclesmrgol on May 18, 2011 at 11:50 AM

This has been true since time immemorial. Marriage vows are the hardest promise in the world to keep. What is different nowadays is the lack of consequence, and the participation by seemingly good women.

rockmom on May 18, 2011 at 11:39 AM

Infidelity is a choice like anything else. Accepting any other premise is taking the easy, no responsibility path. “Hey, men are animals, what did you expect?”. And, a lout cannot help himself.

So, why do women put up with louts? My wife has built-in lout radar and I’ve seen that trait in virtually every other woman I’ve known. However, too many women have a willing suspension of disbelief, that is, they believe they can change the lout. Newsflash: You can’t!

Avoid them to begin with rather than lament later.

roy_batty on May 18, 2011 at 11:54 AM

rockmom on May 18, 2011 at 11:39 AM

At risk of stepping on toes, I would go a bit further. I think a public enviorment which allows freely given sex, co-habitation and even child bearing prior to marriage, cheapens the concept and reduces the effort many people are willing to put forth to keep a marriage strong.

a capella on May 18, 2011 at 11:54 AM

There’s being a “bad boy” and then there’s being a douche…Arnold is a douche. The maid must have had a really really nice Brazilian a$$

Caper29 on May 18, 2011 at 11:54 AM

Tina, don’t listen to the handful of haters here, who are stepping on your writing. I’m sure it is intimidating to be writing for a massively popular website, so do your thang get comfortable, and be what you be.

Your few detractors can go pitch tents in their beds.

blatantblue on May 18, 2011 at 11:55 AM

Manish Boy – Muddy Waters

Christien on May 18, 2011 at 11:58 AM

blatantblue on May 18, 2011 at 11:55 AM

+1.

a capella on May 18, 2011 at 11:59 AM

Feminism, lack of sexual mores, inability for society to use shaming on slut and cad behavior…

Let me ask you a question. If young women were publicly shamed for dressing like sluts and having sex outside of commited relationships – and young men shamed for acting like thugs, drooping pants and all – you think this wouldn’t fix things quick?

Men respond to incentivies. If there is no incentive to behave like a man, then young men will continue to be rewarded for acting a fool with no strings attached sex.

Patriarchies get sh*t done.

spec_ops_mateo on May 18, 2011 at 12:01 PM

They control the influence machine, no surprise they’ve seen success.

[Speakup on May 18, 2011 at 11:25 AM]

I understand your sentiment here and I sympathize with it in that the Left tends to preach what they practice, and, as such, are pretty much immune to accusations of hypocrisy on this score, especially with regard to acting in manners that are detrimental to nuclear families.

However, I’m not convinced this or the feminist’s – progressive’s efforts to legitimize their ‘equality of gender’ philosophy by promoting their view of good girl behavior and good boy behavior is instrumental in the changes that are implied in the post. In fact, I’m not convinced that statistical data and anecdotal evidence in the post points to things being much different than what has gone before.

For instance, Korbe says this,

“In a space of about three seconds, I can think of at least five public figures who’ve had extramarital affairs in recent years.”

In the space of three seconds, I thought of three founding fathers who had extra marital affairs — Hamilton, Jefferson, and Franklin, two of which are said to have fathered illegitimate children. For those where history is more their forte, I’m sure they can provide similar lists in other eras.

As for the statistics cited by Korbe, above, I find them I find them unpersuasive in showing a “crisis” unless these are significantly difference than historical. Is suspensions of three times more any different than the the era of the Little Rascals, or the Bowery Boys or my time in fourth grade (early 1960′s) for writing on the bathroom wall where the school announcement patiently started with “This concerns the boys only ….”. The same can be said of playing hookey, though I this hasn’t been brought up.

Show me men vs women incarceration rates at any time in the 1700′s, 1800′s or 1900′s where men were significantly less dominant in racking up a greater score and I’ll be rethink my position, here too. As for anecdotal evidence, run your finger down a list of bad “boys” and “girls” in the folklore of the country and you’ll find a skewing of a proportion similar to the stat of today.

The “national crisis” issue is of serious concern to me, though, but only in the feeling that someone, or several, are right now feeling my pockets for my wallet.

I wait expectantly for Ed’s standard ‘the only one at fault for their bad behavior is the perpetrator.’

Dusty on May 18, 2011 at 12:10 PM

People are responsible for themselves.

So what can be done about it? Common sense suggests the small things. Maybe we should stop disparaging boys and start encouraging them.

Um, why not end the overt hostility and bias toward males?

Disparaging? It’s thinly veiled hatred – misandry.

dogsoldier on May 18, 2011 at 12:11 PM

…Sometime in the mid 1960′s something began a rapid change for the worse. That change explodes around 1970, give or take a couple of years..

MikeA on May 18, 2011 at 11:07 AM

THIS.

Mikie’s on to something here. The are many factors, but no small part of the problem is the propaganda foisted upon American culture by militant feminists. The problems with boys today is precisely THAT – they are boys, and they remain that way througout their entire adult lives. It’s the most pervasive and widespread case of arrested development ever witnessed by any species on planet earth. (Read Diana West’s The Death of the Grownup for more insight.) The water-shed moment came in the early 1970′s when the entertainment industry began it’s full scale assault on fatherhood with Archie Bunker and All in the Family. (Contrast that with the early 1960′s when programs like Father Knows Best aired – a phrase/title that now elicits snickers from most people.) We have now had 40 continuous years of brain-washing the populace into thinking that all adult males are buffoons. The chickens are now coming home to roost. The things about humans is that they pretty much behave the way that people in authority EXPECT them to behave.

All you ladies out there, if you want men, instead of boys, you must start by recognizing WHO your enemy is.

My collie says:

I’ve never been happier to be a dog.

CyberCipher on May 18, 2011 at 12:11 PM

•For every 100 girls suspended from public elementary and secondary schools, 215 boys are suspended. Boys are expelled at a rate of 2.97 to every 1 girl.
•For every 100 girls diagnosed with a learning disability, 276 boys are. Boys are diagnosed with emotional disturbance at a rate of 3.24 to every 1 girl.
•For every 100 girls ages 15 to 17 in correctional facilities, there are 837 boys behind bars. Men ages 18 to 24 live in group homes at a rate of 1.66 to every 1 woman in the same age range.

Surely this is nothing new.
That said, here’s my obligatory nod to the Boy Scouts of America. What a truly wonderful organization. As a parent of a 13 yo boy, I will take all the help I can get. If you have a boy, gently nudge them in that direction. If not, give them a little of your cash. Becuase they are still a somewhat religious affiliated group, they get no gov’t dollars. Just another reason to support them!

humdinger on May 18, 2011 at 12:12 PM

I believe the woman involved with Arnold was married at the time as well…just not as famous.

d1carter on May 18, 2011 at 12:14 PM

I have litte sympathy for Arnies wife – she grew up in a family of womanizing cheaters who seemed to feel they were entitled to grope and “d*ck” around with whomever they wanted. IMO she tolerated it because that is what her father, brothers, uncles etc did – THEY WERE ENTITLED. She liked the life.

Parents either need to suck it up and stop raising little whiney kids – both girls and boys or we’re all doomed. We’re so busy bolstering their self-esteem that we’ve forgotten a parent’s role is to foster decent people. We didn’t need to sell out our sons to advance our daughters. We refuse to let our kids fail, we hold them accountable to no one and think the world should revolve around them. Perhaps we need to hold all children & ourselves to higher standards. IMO too many adults put their own “needs” first and haven’t given their kids roots to know where home is and – wings to fly away?

katiejane on May 18, 2011 at 12:17 PM

Comment pages: 1 2