Bad news: Hugo Chavez says capitalism might have destroyed life on Mars

posted at 5:02 pm on March 22, 2011 by Allahpundit

Alternate headline: “Hugo Chavez helpfully provides James Cameron with plot for next movie.”

In case you’ve ever wondered what the vanguard of international socialism thinks about during its down time, wonder no longer, my friends.

“I have always said, heard, that it would not be strange that there had been civilization on Mars, but maybe capitalism arrived there, imperialism arrived and finished off the planet,” Chavez said in speech to mark World Water Day.

Chavez, who also holds capitalism responsible for many of the world’s problems, warned that water supplies on Earth were drying up.

“Careful! Here on planet Earth where hundreds of years ago or less there were great forests, now there are deserts. Where there were rivers, there are deserts,” Chavez said, sipping from a glass of water.

He added that the West’s attacks on Libya were about water and oil reserves.

A few thoughts. One: This would have been a way more interesting economic subplot to the Star Wars prequels than that tedium involving trade federations and space tariffs, no? Imagine the complete mindscrew on the audience once they realized that Obi Wan, Luke, Han, etc, were actually socialist guerrillas fighting the free enterprise empire. Long live Secretary-General Jar Jar! Two: I’m not a sci-fi nerd so I can’t be sure, but there must be a classic allegory or two somewhere in the canon about socialism’s capacity to ruin civilizations. Something in Heinlein, maybe? Commenters are cordially invited to geek out below and show off their mastery of libertarian space operas. Three: After you’re done chuckling over this idiot’s crude propaganda, read this piece from former secretary of state Robert Noriega about Venezuela’s Evil Clown hosting a terror summit in Caracas last year with representatives from Hamas and Hezbollah. No surprise there; he and Iran, which sponsors both organizations, have made common cause against America for years. What’s surprising is Noriega’s claim that the ties go beyond occasional chitchat to include terror training facilities inside Venezuela. That’s a risky proposition for Iran given the possibility of Chavez being deposed, so if it’s true, they’re obviously keenly interested in establishing a base somewhere in the western hemisphere. I wonder why.

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Bad news: Hugo Chavez says capitalism might have destroyed life on Mars

More Chavez: “This ‘capitalism’ stuff….oiy…it makes my head hurt. In fact, I think my head is going to explode any time I have to pay for something. Why should I ever have to pay for anything? I’m a dictator…I can take anything I want!”

olesparkie on March 23, 2011 at 7:52 AM

I always wondered why all those Martians are honked off. Now I know.

kens on March 23, 2011 at 9:10 AM

This is untrue. Some of my best friends are Martians.

nico on March 23, 2011 at 12:08 PM

Didn’t the movie Total Recall with Gov. Arnold deal with evil capitalist who took over Mars for their own?

just saying….

galtg on March 22, 2011 at 5:12 PM

IIRC, they were the de facto government.

Funny thing about that, to cause real societal damage, a company isn’t powerful enough – you need a government.

18-1 on March 22, 2011 at 5:16 PM

Peirs Anthony went into more detail in the book. “Monopolist” would be a more appropriate description than “capitalist”. It was all about the ability of the bad guys to shut off your only supply of air.

Count to 10 on March 23, 2011 at 3:50 PM

Two Robert Heinlein quotes on collectivism:

“A committee is 27 stomachs and no brains”

“Socialism believes that 100 people are smarter than one. Now let’s discuss this. Who decides?”

itsspideyman on March 24, 2011 at 9:08 AM

Chavez couldn’t define what capitalism is if you put a gun to his head. Capitalism require exceptionalism which contributes to success. Socialism at the butt of a gun just reflects the illiteracy of those who own the gun. Sean Penn standing with Chavez suggests what his father, Oliver Penn, was when he was a flame throwing communist fanatic too.

volsense on March 25, 2011 at 9:21 AM

Gov. Arnold Swatzenegger did star in Total Recall when he went against the evil Martian leaders. The trouble is a semi-illiterate like Chavez doesn’t realize it wasn’t a documentary.

volsense on March 25, 2011 at 9:41 AM