Bully body slam finale: The Internet’s greatest hero speaks
posted at 6:31 pm on March 21, 2011 by Allahpundit
A serious, and surprisingly affecting, end to last week’s palate-cleansing saga. It’s Casey Heynes, bullied schoolboy turned cherubic, 16-year-old Aussie avatar of revenge for millions worldwide. He’s … exactly how you imagined him to be. Intelligent, soft-spoken, and driven to such despair by his daily nightmare that he cops to having considered suicide last year. What’s harder to watch, a sweet kid talking about his complete social isolation or a father realizing for the first time how bad it is and that there’s nothing he can do?
That’s the first clip. The second has bully Ritchard Gale insisting that Heynes taunted him and therefore kinda sorta started it. Hmmmm.
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While I did know when my kids were bullied and they never hesitated to come to me. Now that they are adults I get to hear some of the most stupid things they did. Since there was no harm done, it’s funny now but I would not have been laughing then.
Cindy Munford on March 21, 2011 at 8:22 PM
Where’s the fun in that? /
Christien on March 21, 2011 at 8:23 PM
I bet it’s the last time that 12 y/o string bean effs with a guy who has a 50 lb advantage on him ever again. Lesson learned: you poke the bear enough times, you’re gonna get the claw. Hero or not — and that’s a personal decision to make, anyway — I loved watching Heynes feed that little prick the pavement sandwich that he so clearly deserved.
holygoat on March 21, 2011 at 8:24 PM
I’d have to know more about each of the boys but I don’t think that size and age is always used to an advantage.
Cindy Munford on March 21, 2011 at 8:27 PM
It could have turned out much worse. Sounds like Gale limped away on a badly bruised knee. I thought it looked like his leg was broken, but apparently it wasn’t.
Correct me if I’m wrong, but wasn’t Gale’s suspension more than twice as long as Casey’s? If that’s the case, I’m satisfied justice has been served.
gryphon202 on March 21, 2011 at 8:27 PM
I love happy endings. Too bad this time.
Cindy Munford on March 21, 2011 at 8:27 PM
Used a weapon? Shame on you. Would you have lied about doing so, if confronted?
Christien on March 21, 2011 at 8:27 PM
HA!
Christien on March 21, 2011 at 8:29 PM
My parents are very nice people, and I love them both. As parents, they were not mean, and they both worked hard to give us kids a good home. And yet like many (perhaps most) parents, they did not invest time in establishing and maintaining a close relationship with us kids. Their time was given to many things, with very little left over for us kids. Lots and lots of things happened that they didn’t know about, including bullying and a lot of other bad behaviors.
Just like a plant, a relationship must be deliberately cultivated, otherwise it gets choked with weeds and never grows to fruition. Close relationships never develop without hard work and regular maintenance.
I know for a fact that my dad’s parents and my mother’s parents were similar, so I don’t condemn my parents for their lack of parenting skills — they were doing the best they could with what they had. But it would be terrible if I didn’t identify their failings, because otherwise there would be no way for me to break the cycle of detached parenting.
I don’t pretend to be a perfect parent. But the one thing I am determined to never be accused of is “detached”. As I said above, if my relationship with my children is such that they do not feel comfortable telling me about something that concerns them (or thrills them), it will be impossible for me to fulfill my responsibilities as parent.
Splashman on March 21, 2011 at 8:31 PM
And this is where you rub me the wrong way. All you can do is make yourself available. The decision to talk or clam up is ultimately up to your kids.
gryphon202 on March 21, 2011 at 8:33 PM
AP,
Do you have a bullying story of your own you wish to share with us?
Christien on March 21, 2011 at 8:37 PM
His dad looks a bit like Technoviking. That would explain some things.
CPL 310 on March 21, 2011 at 8:38 PM
I remember being bullied when I was in 7th grade. The bully was in 8th grade. He would wait for me to come out to recess and then pick on me. Not physically, but verbally. Finally, he confronted me alone as I walked out to recess, taunting me. My reaction was to slug him in the face. He backed down in a hurry and never bothered me again. Nobody knew this but he and I.
I didn’t run around looking for him so I could slug him for the taunting. I had finally had enough and took action when the taunting occurred again.
I just don’t buy what Richard is saying. I would have gone out of my way to avoid a conflict, but was cornered, just like Casey. At some point, you have to say I’ve had enough and throw caution to the wind to defend yourself.
As with most bullies, it doesn’t take much to deal with them. Do you remember the movie “A Christmas Story”?
ehvogel on March 21, 2011 at 8:43 PM
Are you saying outright or by implication that if my children choose to not tell me something I’m neglecting my parental duties? What hubris and ego you possess. My parents always made time for me we are very close even today. I speak to my Mom daily. But, even now I don’t tell her everything. I do have some privacy. My children are entitled to privacy also. They know I will help them, support them, defend them or do anything neccesary for them. But, I know there’s things they choose not to share for whatever reason and because they are people separate from me I respect that. It’s also my job to teach them and give them the tools necessary to make decisions and have respect for their autonomy, they need to trust themselves.
hboulware on March 21, 2011 at 8:43 PM
I really wish I did what Casey did in 3rd grade, would have saved me years and years of bullying, teasing, and taunting. My Dad was aware of the bullying. He went to the school, he went to the boys parents. They didn’t do a thing. Hindsight, my Dad wishes he would have listen to my pleas to send me to private school. The boy who started to this day is not sorry.
YAY Casey, you go!
pabo on March 21, 2011 at 8:44 PM
Yeah, both kids were lucky that he wasn’t seriously injured. As hard as that take-down was, it could have ended quite badly, but as it is, the outcome couldn’t have been more perfect for Heynes.
I don’t know about the suspensions, but I hope your info is accurate.
holygoat on March 21, 2011 at 8:45 PM
Surely someone has swiped the bag of his head at least once.
Cindy Munford on March 21, 2011 at 8:45 PM
of = off. Sorry
Cindy Munford on March 21, 2011 at 8:45 PM
As a parent, I fail frequently — and far too often. I get mad sometimes over some stupid little thing. I get impatient when I’m trying to teach. Many times I am not sensitive to a mood and trample over feelings because I’m focused on “getting something done”. (Insert a whole list of etceteras here.)
Those are failures a child recovers from very quickly, especially when the failures are followed by an apology and an obvious effort at reducing the occurrences.
A child’s lack of trust in a parent is a very different thing. A lack of trust is not a character flaw in the child. Just like with adults, a lack of trust is earned over time. And I do mean “earned.” I don’t trust my neighbor to be considerate of me because she has proven it many, many times, and she would be foolish to blame me for the lack of trust. When a child doesn’t trust a parent with a secret, it is because that parent has proven unworthy of trust many, many times. I don’t say that to condemn parents — often, the parents are clueless because of their own upbringing and don’t know they are sabotaging their children’s trust — I say it simply to identify the source of the problem so that those who care can try to avoid the same fate.
Splashman on March 21, 2011 at 8:50 PM
Yeah, for years Casey was doing everything the school and the experts told him to. Don’t fight back. What did it get him? More and more abuse, lost friends, suicidal thoughts and zero self esteem! One day he snaps (no- comes to his senses!) and takes a stand and defends himself. What is the result? Pride! Hundreds of thousands of friends! Love and support and massive self esteem and….. he stopped the bully!
Sorry, but the interview of the bully did zero to change my mind. It only re-affirmed that kid was a little snot!
JellyToast on March 21, 2011 at 8:51 PM
Let me explain it to you one more time, dumba$$. The kid was invisible to the parents who have the duty to care for him. They didn’t even notice a g*dd*m 666 carved on his face. It’s neglect.
Casey complained of bullying and having no friends his entire life and becoming suicidal, yet his parents didn’t notice? How can you not notice that your kid is depressed and has no friends? Again, it’s neglect.
Judging from your response, you are a crappy and negligent parent yourself. Now, piss off!
Blake on March 21, 2011 at 8:51 PM
1. Become a dentist
2. Move to Australia
3. $$$
My teeth are no thing of beauty so I can say this.
Casey seems like a really great kid. A sort of gentle giant. His sister seems like a good kid as well. Dad is doing an alright job by my thinking. No parent is perfect and kids hide this sort of thing so as not to disappoint parents or be embarrassed. In a kids mind, admitting to having no friends and being bullied is like saying, I’m a loser to a parent. Some kids see it that way and don’t want their parents to know. I think Casey is going to be ok. As for the other kid, he’s got a long way to go yet.
Keyser-Soze on March 21, 2011 at 8:53 PM
No, that’s not all you can do. See my point above about cultivating relationships.
Of course I don’t mean to imply that all children are perfect angels, and everything is the parents’ fault. I’m saying that if it is my job to establish and maintain a close relationship with my children, then I will make that a priority and find a way to get it done, despite obstacles like a surly child. There are a zillion resources on the Internet.
Splashman on March 21, 2011 at 8:55 PM
the scrawny kid deserved it and MORE.
Hey scrawny punks’ parents……..WARNING SIGNS HELLLLLLLO?
PappyD61 on March 21, 2011 at 8:57 PM
Cashier: Paper or plastic?
AP: Both, please!
Christien on March 21, 2011 at 8:59 PM
Blake, you are an ignorant moronic tool!! You have no idea about Caseys home life you are making assumptions and it’s repugnant and disgusting.
Splashman, you sound like a lefist psychologist who has no grounding in reality. If you do have. Children I pity them. Hopefully they have someone to talk to who doesn’t sound like a badly written texbook
hboulware on March 21, 2011 at 8:59 PM
You missed the memo, evidently. Making assumptions about this story is what it’s all about. Oh, and also about telling really lame war stories from our pasts. Boo hoo, I got bullied as a kid..join the club.
Christien on March 21, 2011 at 9:03 PM
And you sound like someone trying to avoid responsibility for their children’s predicament. Maybe you could use a textbook or two.
My kids are happy, healthy, growing and learning every day, and I know they aren’t being bullied.
Ciao.
Splashman on March 21, 2011 at 9:04 PM
We lived in a pretty tough public housing complex in pretty tough times and fighting was fairly common. I had 4 to 6 all out fights every year thru school and dozens of skirmishes, hell we all did.
But what stands out to me was that my buddy grew up a fat kid and he got teased relentlessly</strong> and often got beat up, tripped, spit on, food thrown at EVERY DAY. Every effing day. Around 8th grade he hit the weights and turned into the frickin Terminator. Revenge was enacted in spades. Childhood aint easy, fights build character.
Alden Pyle on March 21, 2011 at 9:09 PM
Casey’s dad didn’t know cause Casey’s dad didn’t tell him! Unless Casey came home with a 666 carved into his forehead, you’re chasing rabbit trails, douchebag.
gryphon202 on March 21, 2011 at 9:19 PM
TWO KEYS….in the interview with the punk.
He refuses to say he’s sorry.
And he won’t agree to stop bullying anyone else.
PappyD61 on March 21, 2011 at 9:20 PM
Blah…correction: Casey’s dad didn’t know cause Casey didn’t tell him! Piss off yourself.
gryphon202 on March 21, 2011 at 9:21 PM
Splashman, it’s seems you are avoiding reality. But, then again you want to blame parents for everything. I hope you never have to eat that crow gryphon offered. It’s been my experience as a teacher for 20yrs that it’s quite often the parents who sound just like you are the ones so confused when things don’t follow your expectations.
hboulware on March 21, 2011 at 9:21 PM
Did the interview with Casey mention where his mom is?
Cindy Munford on March 21, 2011 at 9:21 PM
Cindy, no but I’m curious. Someone said that both boys are from single family homes. Ritcherds dad was there but mom was on the phone.
hboulware on March 21, 2011 at 9:24 PM
Mullet and facial piercing. Don’t call me surprised.
CWforFreedom on March 21, 2011 at 9:24 PM
Yes, that is a common feature among bullies – the ability to give, the inability to take it themselves. OF COURSE the little snot is blaming the victim. Anything to shirk his own responsibility.
Vyce on March 21, 2011 at 9:25 PM
Sounds like the kid’s got a future in politics.
gryphon202 on March 21, 2011 at 9:28 PM
I must have missed them saying that Casey’s is from a single parent home. I thought maybe Mom was shying away from the publicity. I know I would. I did see Richard’s mom in the interview. It is interesting dynamic that both boys are in the custody of their fathers.
Cindy Munford on March 21, 2011 at 9:31 PM
It’s an interesting dynamic as well, that both boys are in the custody of their fathers although one seems to be a good egg, and the other anything but. And both fathers could credibly be accused of being “distant” or “detached.” Hmmm…
gryphon202 on March 21, 2011 at 9:32 PM
It is unusual I guess. But, as I was trying to explain to Splashman since we don’t knownthe circumstances I hate to blame Caseys dad. Ritchard OTOH seems like a little weasel. Being a single parent is hard but that’s no excuse for the bullies behavior.
hboulware on March 21, 2011 at 9:35 PM
Lying little punk met up with Karma!
Way to go Casey!!!
Roy Rogers on March 21, 2011 at 9:39 PM
A requirement for the Bullies Club
Roy Rogers on March 21, 2011 at 9:41 PM
I would think that is where Casey’s sister comes in. Since she isn’t responsible for raising a productive human being, her unconditional love might be the difference. I don’t want to call either men detached, raising kids is tough with both parents. Very fun but tough. I think it is safe to say that both gentleman are now wiser and I’m glad it didn’t come at a higher price.
Cindy Munford on March 21, 2011 at 9:49 PM
The third boy in the video I think played a large roll in this. He was using the Dentally challenged kid as his little tool to go after the big kid.
He only steps in when his “boy” gets thrown down.
The little bully is one of those sad sack POS, made worse by a mother who would abandon him, seeking the approval of other punks.
I would bet money the third boy is the real source of evil here. But maybe the little brat will have learned a lesson from this, but I wouldn’t bet on it.
TiminPhx on March 21, 2011 at 9:50 PM
I agree, the cameraman is the key to much of this.
Cindy Munford on March 21, 2011 at 9:55 PM
I dunno what you guys are arguing about. Trying to be a great parent is good. Failing happens. I tried to be a great parent, talking to the kid, to teachers, to kid’s friends, helping with homework, etc, but my best wasn’t good enough.
Over time, my son simply turned away from me, wanted freedom and privacy, made some unfortunate decisions, went his own way. I tried to overcome it, unsuccessfully. Today he doesn’t much like me, though he is thankfully responsible, hardworking, has his own family now. Just because somebody is family doesn’t mean you are automatically compatible. We can try to be good managers, but not everything is manageable, no matter how we try. But we still have to try.
jodetoad on March 21, 2011 at 9:58 PM
You know what Splashman and Cliffhanger, just shut.up. When your child gets bullied or commits an offence or stuffs up and doesn’t tell you, then you can pass judgment on the rest of us. Until then, quit the moral superiority crap.
My son was bullied for 2 years at high school. He didn’t tell me because he wanted to act like a ‘man’ and not run crying to his mummy and daddy. He also said to me afterwards he didn’t want me to worry too much about him.
He had friends, he did social stuff, he did well at school, there were NO indicators he had this issue until he tried to cut his wrist one day after school.
Kids get very good at hiding things from their parents. They lie. They omit. They cover up. They pretend. Often times this is done not to gain an advantage, but to protect the parent they love from grief and pain. He knew both of us loved him deeply. He also knew he should have told us, and that we would never think less of him for it. However, the gap between wishing and doing is sometimes too big to bridge, and he kept it to himself as kids do.
After counselling, he went and took TaeKwondo classes and in a few short months, the kid who had bullied him came back for another try and my son laid him on the ground in about a microsecond. He was never touched again.
This was a good ending, but there are many who carry the scars of bullying all their lives, not sharing with their parents, their partners or their children. And unless you’re a superpsychologist, you will never know if your child is bullied if they choose not to let you. I pray this doesn’t happen to your children because I think you will be utterly unable to deal with the ‘betrayal of trust’ that your kid didn’t tell you.
Ozwitch on March 21, 2011 at 9:59 PM
No way this Casey kid tormented Richard as Richard claims. You can tell from the scared and helpless stance Casey is in, coupled with the fact that Richard has a bunch of kids with him, taunting Casey while he hits him that Casey did nothing wrong.
It doesn’t make any logical sense that this supposed tormentor is suddenly scared to death of a tiny kid who is now tormenting him verbally as he punches him.
Looks like this Richard kid is probably set on his path of being a little jerk…little chance of changing him at this age, especially if he’s going to add on to his bad deeds by telling a fanciful tale that doesn’t even remotely add up.
TheBlueSite on March 21, 2011 at 10:01 PM
The kid would come into my work area and twist a dial or pull a lever on whatever I was doing. Since dialing in accuracy to 10,000th’s took the major part of a period with the measuring tools at my disposal (no digital stuff, just analog vernier, no ncc, just manual), having someone touch a control often meant starting over with respect to that particular part of the job.
And he loved doing this when the machine was operating. So, having had enough, I made sure the machine was operating when he entered the zone.
I think the shop teacher knew. He had treated me politely before the incident, but acted like I was his peer afterward.
And, yes, I would have been truthful. But I was never asked, and, even at that age, I knew not to volunteer that which was not asked for.
unclesmrgol on March 21, 2011 at 10:22 PM
Bit of a long story, but here goes,
Some years back, my first son was in 3rd grade. I got a call from the school and they said the principal had him in the office and wanted us there. Once there, we found that a bigger kid (same age) had been picking on him (this had been going on for some time), and my son had been brought to the office for defending himself and decking the bigger kid. The principal (one of the touchy-feely beta-male types) insisted that he couldn’t have that happening at his school. We informed him that we had taught our son to walk away whenever possible, as many times as necessary, but that when it became impossible to do so, to deal with the problem decisively. The principal sputtered and stuttered and said that wasn’t acceptable. We told him that if his staff couldn’t police the playground and prevent the bullying any better than they had been doing, we were probably going to have this conversation again.
Fast-forward a few years, and we got called to the school again, this time for son #2, 3rd grade as well. As it happened there was a new principal, who by coincidence had been the assistant principal at my high school 20 years before. Same story – bigger kid picking on son 2, son 2 held back until it became too much, then he cleaned the bigger kid’s clock. Once at the office, we and the principal listened to son 2′s story, which was corroborated by two other kids. The principal (this guy was an old-school type) said “OK, just wanted to know what happened.”
As it turned out, neither son was bothered by school bullies again. Interestingly enough, the second principal had fewer discipline problems in his schools.
Once it is known that you won’t roll over and take the abuse, the bullies stop picking on you. The new-age, touchy-feely approach sounds real nice, but human nature is pretty constant. All the good intentions in the world will never have the problem-solving effect that punching the bully right in the nose does.
Basic rules: Never start a confrontation. Turn the other cheek when you can. Walk away whenever possible. But when none of these are options, deal with the situation. What ever happened to the spirit of self-reliance and individualism that made this nation great? We have to stop raising generation after generation of metrosexual namby-pamby girly men.
LooseCannon on March 21, 2011 at 10:22 PM
You missed the fishing poles.
unclesmrgol on March 21, 2011 at 10:22 PM
Well I didn’t say I necessarily agreed with that assessment.
But certain commenters around here really put the “ass” in “assume.”
gryphon202 on March 21, 2011 at 10:29 PM
I personally think the pussification of America can be traced back to the 1960′s, but I wasn’t alive then.
gryphon202 on March 21, 2011 at 10:30 PM
Just so we all can understand the environment in which this occurred.
unclesmrgol on March 21, 2011 at 10:31 PM
Agree. I really wonder what the kids (if there are any) of those who do agree with the line are like mentally. The parents are undoubtedly conflicted helicopter parents.
There was a JumpStart cartoon earlier this month that addressed this issue from a slightly different angle.
unclesmrgol on March 21, 2011 at 10:39 PM
Unclesmrgol, I am not a helicopter parent but, my younger brother and his wife are. My niece is an absolute monster. I have 4 siblings and between us we have 11 kids. All of them are close and love each other. However, niece M is not well liked and the rest of the cousins will avoid her if possible. It’s sad but true. While good solid parenting is awesome some parents take it way to far. They are so involved their kids take no responsibility for their own actions. It’s a difficult line to walk but either extreme is harmful IMO.
hboulware on March 21, 2011 at 10:49 PM
My cousin was the equivalent of “niece M”. Had everything, shared nothing, and disliked everyone. He is the nicest guy now. There is hope.
unclesmrgol on March 21, 2011 at 11:20 PM
I started a new school in eighth grade. I weighed less than 90# and was 4′ tall. I was bullied nearly every day until I made the bullies find a less attractive target. I just made sure that they got lumps for their work. This was the sixties. Never would have thought of telling my parents about this.
Piffmonster on March 21, 2011 at 11:27 PM
And he’s a 12 year old with a piercing in his eyebrow. Good parenting skilz there.
darwin-t on March 21, 2011 at 11:31 PM
My son was a skinny braniac kid with glasses in elementary school and was teased and bullied for a long time but never told us about it. He tried telling adults at school in the beginning but he was always told not to fight back so he stopped. Even though we have a very close relationship, he never told us because he was sure we would say the same thing. There was little value to him to bring it to our attention since the bullying continued unabated following that advice. I also spent a great deal of time at the school but the bullies never touch your kid when you’re there. To say that you are not a good or attentive parent if your child does not tell you about bullying doesn’t really show much understanding of how the child often views the situation.
Everything finally came out after one incident caused the lunch room moms (not any of his teachers, to my disgust) to call the principal. After that incident, we told our son that he had our permission to fight back if he were threatened and we would just meet him in the principal’s office. The sad irony of it all is that the entire school had just completed a week-long anti-bullying workshop.
The bullying only stopped when he started to grow in middle school. A freshman in high school now, he is over six feet tall and close to 200 pounds so no one bothers him anymore. We watched the video together and he just smiled.
inmypajamas on March 21, 2011 at 11:59 PM
To those who think there is a link between their kids “trusting” them and “telling” them whats going on…wait til your daughter tells you she’s ‘late’, or your son walks in and says “we have to talk”. Flat out, the two are barely related. Adolescence is about testing personal boundaries and finding out what you can do on your own. Some kids find find their solutions easily, others struggle. Frequently the decision is based more on the desire to be independent (if you’ve done a good job teaching them) than lack of trust (if you’ve ignored or belittled them).
As for bully boys statement, allow me to translate….”He hit me back first!”
Fighton03 on March 22, 2011 at 12:19 AM
I don’t give flying flea fart what the disparity in capability of the boys was (12 vs 16, 100 vs 150, dumb as a stump vs brainiac). This is a story of an individual who turned the other cheek as long as possible, responded with overwhelming force to immediately end the situation, and then had the character to walk away rather than abuse his position of power.
Fighton03 on March 22, 2011 at 12:24 AM
Yes, It is a poor area. Amongst the poorest areas of Sydney but it would be considered paradise compared to parts of the developing world.
Crux Australis on March 22, 2011 at 6:57 AM
Huh? Howsabout put up a heavy bag in the garage and teach him how to throw punches? Howsabout MMA training?
There’s nothing you can do, dad? You’re powerless? I wonder where Casey got his defeatism.
Akzed on March 22, 2011 at 8:50 AM
Kasey should never have been suspended. The cops wont protect him, the school wont protect him and his parents cant follow him 24/7. No wonder he thought suicide his only option when he gets punished for protecting himself. The little punk Gale had it coming.
abcurtis on March 22, 2011 at 9:35 AM
You have to remember, his dad probably got the same defeatist brainwashing in school too.
abcurtis on March 22, 2011 at 9:36 AM
Sorry, I’m not buying the “I was bullied too” BS. This whole thing was a set up. There just happen to be someone there to video the whole thing? Come on! Notice how at the beginning someone walks in front of the camera and is pulled away because the person videoing the fight knew what was going to happen and wanted to make sure they go it. Except what happened was not the plan.
crazywater on March 22, 2011 at 9:50 AM
And you have smegma for brains. The kid had no friends and was miserable and depressed his whole life and the bogan father never noticed? It’s a parents’ duty to observe and ask their kid questions. If you are a parent, I feel sorry for your kids.
Blake on March 22, 2011 at 9:59 AM
You tried. If Casey’s parents had made half the effort you did, they would have known that he was being attacked and was miserable. They just didn’t care to bother – you did.
Blake on March 22, 2011 at 10:02 AM
What is fascinating is the reaction of the parents. Casey’s dad has the proper, rational reaction. He is sad for his son having to resort to violence, doesn’t condone the violence, but understands it.
Compared to the other kid’s parents. They try to defend their son’s bullying by claiming Casey started it, then they whine and victimize themselves over the disdain the public has taken towards their kid.
One parent is definitely a conservative, the other is a liberal. that is why this story is so fascinating. Its just a simple story of bullying, but it showcases two very distinct mind sets in our society.
tflst5 on March 22, 2011 at 10:07 AM
I find it odd that no one asks why this incidendent was videoed in the first place. It seems to me this little punk wanted his attack on another human being recorded for history. The saddest part of all is that his peers encouraged him to attack another boy.
TomLawler on March 22, 2011 at 10:27 AM
A bully, liar, and whiner. There’s the trifecta. You’re just a piece of work.
Laura in Maryland on March 22, 2011 at 10:31 AM
I liked this take on it from Penny-Arcade
All any parent can do is their best. To reach out to their kids. When things “seem wrong” to go with your gut and try to persue it, but understand that even if you do try, they may still hold back.
DrAllecon on March 22, 2011 at 10:37 AM
just to clarify, my comment was aimed at little Dickey Gale.
Laura in Maryland on March 22, 2011 at 10:54 AM
Like many others here, I was bullied in school. From 6th grade right thru my senior year in high school. Back then (1975-1981) girls didn’t fight back; if you did you received other labels that were equally unappealing.
The abuses I suffered included a concussion, sprained wrist and an attempted rape; the latter in a hallway full of my classmates who were keeping a watch out for the teachers while 2 boys did their best to terrorize, humiliate and harm a 13 year old girl who only wanted to belong.
My parents learned of the rape attempt ONLY because my clothing was torn, a radio was broken and it was clearly not because of a mishap in gym class (my first story).
It is the ONLY bullying my parents ever learned about. I never told them about the rest of it; like a battered woman I hid behind being clumsy or unaware of my surroundings.
I was also depressed much of the time and contemplated suicide many times (which I never told my parents). At a teenage girl, I’m sure they chalked it up to hormones and the angst of a teen.
My parents were not uninvolved in my life; kids will only reveal what they feel they need to, to keep the peace with their parents. Bullied kids – like me and countless others – are as humiliated by the bullying as the bullying hurts.
KrisinNE on March 22, 2011 at 11:00 AM
That Gale is an ugly kid. No wonder why he is such a bully.
Hilts on March 22, 2011 at 11:12 AM
As a Jewish boy I was once bullied by teenaged parochial school girls. It’s not as much fun as it sounds.
Seth Halpern on March 22, 2011 at 11:15 AM
The other kid’s (the bully’s) mother didn’t defend her son’s bullying — but she did defend her son from the sort of internet bullying he is enduring now. She didn’t say anything nasty about Casey, and I think that says a lot. She did say that her own son violated the “don’t strike first” ethic of his family.
Now, I’m not sure what bully’s father had to say about the situation, but the mother was quite forthright that her son had done wrong.
I wouldn’t be surprised if bully’s entire pack has turned against him. He showed weakness in being owned the way he was, and I’m betting the pack is tearing at his flanks right now.
unclesmrgol on March 22, 2011 at 12:17 PM
Dad believes the bully. There’s the enabler.
unclesmrgol on March 22, 2011 at 12:28 PM
OK, all flame away. But don’t they have national health care there? Doesn’t it include dental?? Good grief.
kathy from austin on March 22, 2011 at 1:06 PM
I’m not seeing an argument for flaming any of the parents I’ve seen, with the possible – only possible - exception of the bully’s dad.
Having been through this in the 6th grade – story on this page – I know that it is tough for parents to know what is going on. In my case, “Bobby” went after me for weeks without Mom or Dad knowing. It was my brother, John, just a year older, who ratted out my situation to Dad.
Being bullied, physically or emotionally attacked, has a weird shame effect that I don’t fully understand that makes you want to hide and unwilling to confide even in those you most trust. I alaways had absolute confidence in my Dad – that he was the power in my corner and would always go to bat for me – until the day he died. He was a fantastic Dad and I’ll always feel blessed as his son. Nonetheless, in this case and in a later case where I was beaten and mugged, I sought to avoid telling him until circumstances allowed me no other option.
Don’t blame Caseys dad at all for not knowing what his son was going thru.
I’ll pass on the bully’s mom, but his dad is an interesting snippet. He seems truly hurt and remorseful and is trying to get his son to come around, but I think he has little authority over the boy. I’ll leave it there.
I do think we coddle teens far too much in these matters and it contributes to the bullying. These were personal matters when we were kids and probably less frequent as a result. Zero tolerance policies are just an ineffectual attempt to shield kids from reality, perversely making schools more violent that they would otherwise be.
Cricket624 on March 22, 2011 at 1:22 PM
My parents were a dad who worked full time and was involved in my schooling and activities (volunteered at scouts, etc.) and a stay-at-home mom (she worked part time afternoons when I was older).
I don’t think I got bullied like this kid did; but I got quite a bit of it until I was 15 or so. It wasn’t endless torment; but seeing what this kid faced at his locker; that didn’t look much like a surprise.
And I don’t think to this day my parents know the truth of it, or what the details were. Not bad parents, not clueless, just not monitoring me like I was a prison inmate (which some people here seem to think is what good parenting would look like).
I also don’t think they know when it stopped, or the name of the kid who finally pushed me til I snapped (he would up with a broken nose & mild concussion; but no charges were filed).
Parents can’t be there every minute of every day to know every detail of a kid’s life. And if you’re snooping into your kids activities enough that you’d definitively know for sure the moment this happened; that’s just terrifying.
gekkobear on March 22, 2011 at 1:32 PM
I think this stems from our cultural’s idea of what it is to be stong and our desire to be seen as such. To admit that you are being bullied is (in the back of our minds at least) to admit to being weak.
I read your story that you linked to and I had to put up with much the same stuff when I was younger. Im a “mere” 6’01″ now but I grew very fast and have always been to large to just be pushed around. This ment the only people who jacked with me were the ones who knew they could get out of striking distance in a hurry. I think those people had the same desire to be seen as strong. Since they were not physically imposing they used their speed to “taunt the bull” and prove their strength.
And kudos for getting a peice of your tormenter.
SnakeintheGrass on March 22, 2011 at 2:04 PM
Oh, please! Almost everyone has been bullied at one time or another in their lives. Once again, this kid said he had been bullied all his life, that he was always depressed because of it, that he never had friends, that he wanted to kill himself and from the tape we can see how bad it was in that this little punk felt embolden enough to target him and that he had a fellow punk there to film it in order to humiliate the victim further. Being concerned that your kid is miserable, depressed, and has no friends, is not snooping. Some of you people are scary.
Blake on March 22, 2011 at 5:41 PM
Kids are very good at hiding things they don’t want people to know, just as adults are. I almost killed myself a year ago and ended up in the hospital pysch ward. And do you know how many people guessed that I was that close to the edge? Not my wife, not my parents, not my friends, not my co-workers, not my doctor who was treating me for ‘minor depression’ which is all I admitted to and not the psychiatrist I bold-faced lied to in an attempt to get some meds to make me feel better without having to admit to anyone how bad I was really doing. She asked me flat-out if I ever thought about hurting myself and I easily snowed a trained professional.
And yes, I am very close to my parents and spent a lot of time with them growing up, was not neglected, and certainly never told them when I was bullied as a child. Many people are very good at pretending their way through life. Did you watch Casey when he talked about thinking about suicide? He remained quite calm despite discussing this on tv with a complete stranger. You don’t think he’s capable of putting on a brave face when dad’s around? When you are dealing with low self-esteem the last thing you want people to know is that you have low self-esteem.
I’m sorry if this is TMI for this site but its making me sick listen to the likes of Splash and Blake act like they are somehow superior and all-knowing about what the people around them are going through. I hope you never find out the hard way that you might not know as much as you think you do.
SittingDeadRed on March 22, 2011 at 7:24 PM
I have to be honest…I feel sorry for both of these kids. More so for Casey but you can tell from just looking at Ritchard his life has been no picnic. He picked the wrong kid to bully, he got what was coming to him, let’s move on. The fact that other people feel free to send hate mail and name call a 12 year old kid…how does that make them any better? I get that this is a triumphant moment for anyone who has ever been bullied, but when people start acting like 4chan, it’s time to step back.
And it seems to me these kids are economically disadvantaged as well as coming from single parent homes. I pray they both find there way in the world despite the odds against them.
WaltzingMtilda on March 22, 2011 at 10:12 PM
I’m glad that you shared, that was pretty brave. I’m even more glad you’re still with us. And your point is very well made. People, especially those with what they perceive to be “shameful” problems, can be quite adept at hiding them. IMO the ability to hide the problem (or disease or addiction) is one of the most tragic symptoms.
WaltzingMtilda on March 22, 2011 at 10:17 PM
When your dad looks like Charles Manson…
SouthernGent on March 23, 2011 at 12:24 AM
Oh, piss off! I know if my kid acts depressed and has no friends that there is something a miss in their lives. You make me sick, too.
Blake on March 23, 2011 at 10:26 AM
Wow, you are dense. What if they don’t ‘act depressed’? What exactly does acting depressed mean by the way? It must be awesome to be so in tune to everybody around you. Take a guess what I’m thinking right now.
SittingDeadRed on March 23, 2011 at 8:46 PM
And you’re an idiot. There are many forms of depression. The fact that this kid is grossly overweight and stated that he had no friends are signs of depression that can’t be hidden. It must be terrible to be as clueless as you, jacka$$.
Blake on March 24, 2011 at 12:15 PM
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