Video: Charlie Sheen “winning” in his own special way

posted at 10:23 pm on February 28, 2011 by Allahpundit

If a local reporter with a migraine mumbling about “burtations” is worthy of two posts, I think America’s new philosopher-poet of addiction merits at least one. Jonah Goldberg described my feelings about this exactly:

I’m trying to decide what I think about all of this Charlie Sheen nuttiness. If you take the position he doesn’t have serious mental-health issues — an implausible position, I think – and you don’t care one bit about his drug problem, he’s still an absolutely ridiculous person who doesn’t “deserve” a fraction of the attention he so clearly enjoys. But if his drug problem and his mental health aren’t issues, then he is also an immensely entertaining or at least engrossing spectacle. It’s rare to see someone own his idiocy and self-destruction so completely, never mind so boldly. He makes it hard to look away.

He’s like Bruce Campbell in “Evil Dead 2″ — sometimes disturbing, sometimes entertaining, often both at the same time, and always, always quotable. (Check Twitter whenever a new interview with him hits the wires.) And the media can’t get enough. He did two long interviews this morning on “Today” and “Good Morning America” and wrapped up an hour-long chat with Piers Morgan on CNN just a few minutes ago. He’s a bona fide national news event. And somehow, between his career immolation and his porn “goddesses” and the endless what-exactly-is-wrong-with-him guessing games (he passed a drug test today), he’s never been more famous. Good lord.

Two clips in case you’ve overlooked the madness thus far. Exit question from PopEater: Who’s watching his kids?

Update: Says reporter Heidi Moore: “Charlie Sheen is exactly the character he played when he seduced Ferris’s sister Jeannie in Ferris Bueller’s Day Off.”

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See The Fighter, and tell me this isn’t the same character that got C. Bale the Academy Award. All nerves, gaunt, and wired with an overinflated ego.

leftnomore on March 1, 2011 at 5:14 AM

He’s a rock head, and if he didn’t have such good dental care, he’d be toothless in a year.

viviliberoomuori on February 28, 2011 at 11:20 PM

He’s halfway there.

IrishEi on March 1, 2011 at 6:05 AM

the wraith!

rob verdi on March 1, 2011 at 6:12 AM

This is pretty much what Obama looks like without the teleprompter

roflmao

donabernathy on March 1, 2011 at 6:29 AM

Charlie’s life story will not end well . . .

BigAlSouth on March 1, 2011 at 6:54 AM

Been good to know ya Charlie….We’ll miss ya.

joe btfsplk on March 1, 2011 at 7:09 AM

Somebody needs to send Charlie a copy of “Leaving Las Vegas”.

joe btfsplk on March 1, 2011 at 7:23 AM

Somebody needs to send Charlie a copy of “Leaving Las Vegas”.

joe btfsplk on March 1, 2011 at 7:23 AM

Ugh. I HATED that movie. And I generally like Nick Cage. Me and the wife went to see it. Up to that point we would regularly go to “art film” because they were often more interesting than the regular fare. That movie put us off of Art Film for life. It was so bad we nearly walked out, and we were just beyond disgusted that it won an award.

Still, it DOES have a nice lesson about what drinking to excess can do to you.

As far as Charlie Sheen goes, I personally think that he’s either:

A. Losing his mind. He’s slowly loosing his already tenuous grip on reality and sliding into (for the moment) hilarious insanity. We’ll see whether he lands in “funny crazy” land or “dangerous crazy” land. Hard to tell at this point.

B. Employing his acting skills to increase his value by becoming the unofficial new Hollywood “Crazy Guy” and then revealing later in a big splashy announcement that it was all an act, thus catapulting himself to greater heights of stardom and expensive contracts.

wearyman on March 1, 2011 at 7:55 AM

I feel sorry for his daughters. They are old enough to be teased and know what their Dad is doing.

gophergirl on March 1, 2011 at 8:03 AM

More evidence we are doomed.

JeffB. on March 1, 2011 at 8:03 AM

And the media can’t get enough. He did two long interviews this morning on “Today” and “Good Morning America” and wrapped up an hour-long chat with Piers Morgan on CNN just a few minutes ago. He’s a bona fide national news event.

The MSM take pleasure in enabling someone’s demise.

Exit question from PopEater: Who’s watching his kids?

Time for Grandpa Martin to step in and get those kids.

mizflame98 on March 1, 2011 at 8:15 AM

He’s halfway there.

IrishEi on March 1, 2011 at 6:05 AM

I wonder if he’s also dabbling in Meth?

mizflame98 on March 1, 2011 at 8:23 AM

I can’t say that he’s a wise children’s role model but he never really was, was he?. What I can say is he’s totally uninhibited with his brutal honesty and definitely not fake. This is refreshing. Go Charlie! He’s running his own life. Those of his daughters, well, I suppose some of you would like to involve Child State Services to deal with a “broken home” and have his children taken away. That’s right, let’s run everyone’s life for them.

Egfrow on March 1, 2011 at 8:36 AM

Time for Grandpa Martin to step in and get those kids.

mizflame98 on March 1, 2011 at 8:15 AM

Because he did such a bang-up job with Charlie.

SKYFOX on March 1, 2011 at 8:51 AM

Charlie Sheen is playing hardball with his former bosses at his hit show, “Two and a Half Men,” and so far, his efforts appear to be paying off.

Yesterday, Warner Bros. Television agreed to pay the crew of “Two and a Half Men” for half of the eight episodes that were canceled. Production of the hit CBS show was suspended on Friday, with producers citing Sheen’s “statements, conduct and condition.

http://goo.gl/xH4SZ

If the executives decided to pay the crew, it was solely their decision. It had nothing to do with the whackjob. This show isn’t a life time job. The crew is free to fine other work and this is pilot season so plenty of work is available. The co stars have taken in so much money over the years, they shouldn’t be compensated at all.

The article talks about how Sheen always did his job. Not quite. They had to close down production twice this season because of his overdosing and legal problems. From what I can tell perusing the internet, most people are not sympathetic towards him.

Blake on March 1, 2011 at 8:51 AM

Charlie Sheen seems to be in a race of sorts with Lindsay Lohan to see which one of them can implode their career into oblivion first.

At the rate this thing is going right now, my money is on Charlie.

pilamaye on March 1, 2011 at 8:54 AM

I wonder if he’s also dabbling in Meth?

mizflame98 on March 1, 2011 at 8:23 AM

Unfortunately, he’s sober or so his blood tests (“allegedly”) say he is.

What we’re seeing in Sheen’s current state is a person accustomed to a lot of substances now not being ON them. Sobriety is more than just stopping the substances, it’s a recovery — and reconstruction — process of the person overall.

I’ve known more than a few people with mental problems who have been substance abusers and others think it’s the substances that are the cause of their problems, BUT THEN THEY GET SOBER and people start seeing the actual mental problems — such as in Sheen’s behavior.

The drugs, with some people, keep them “mellow” or at least “more normal” and I’ve seen this also with people who use a lot of marijuana…they’re nuts, then they start smoking and suddenly they’re kittens.

Sheen needs mental help from a few very, very good physicians. Not the New Age Self Discovery kind, but actual people with a lot of clinical skill, let the guy talk and talk and talk and talk and…for several years, without the substances and eventually maybe there’ll be a Charlie Sheen emerge who isn’t like he is today.

P.S.: but it’s a mistake to focus all the attention on Sheen and not scrutinize Mr. Levine or what’s-his-name…who seems to have the history of someone bent on driving everyone and anyone nuts.

Lourdes on March 1, 2011 at 9:05 AM

Been good to know ya Charlie….We’ll miss ya.

joe btfsplk on March 1, 2011 at 7:09 AM

NOT SO! DLTDHYITAOTWO, Sheen…

ExpressoBold on March 1, 2011 at 9:07 AM

P.S.: but it’s a mistake to focus all the attention on Sheen and not scrutinize Mr. Levine or what’s-his-name…who seems to have the history of someone bent on driving everyone and anyone nuts.

Lourdes on March 1, 2011 at 9:05 AM

“Mr. Levine” = “Chuck Lorre.”

Lourdes on March 1, 2011 at 9:07 AM

Uhhh…Charlie Sheen isn’t a lone nut on the tree.

Read this:

‘Two and a Half Men’ Creator Chuck Lorre Breaks Silence: ‘I Am So Outta Here!’
by Catherine Lawson, posted Mar 1st 2011 9:12AM

During the increasingly bitter Charlie Sheen vs. Chuck Lorre and CBS public feud, both sides have slung insults at each other with abandon. Lorre called Sheen “a degenerate,” and Sheen responded with a whole bunch of slurs.

In recent days Lorre vowed to stop writing his trademark “vanity cards” and has since remained silent, but now, in the midst of Sheen’s marathon round of TV interviews, he’s broken his silence. … Kind of.

Eagle-eyed viewers spotted a rambling rant on one of Lorre’s famous vanity cards in the closing credits for his other show, ‘Mike & Molly,’ last night. Reading like a riposte to some of Sheen’s odder pronouncements in recent days, it ends: “I am so outta here!”

The vanity card came two weeks after Lorre posted a provocative one in the closing credits for the last episode of ‘Two and a Half Men.’ That one read: “If Charlie Sheen outlives me, I’m gonna be really pissed.”

Having worked on tumultuous shows like ‘Roseanne’ and ‘Grace Under Fire,’ Lorre is no stranger to dealing with difficult stars, and he’s become known for the trademark stream-of-consciousness vanity cards, which he inserts into the closing credits of each episode of his shows. The cards, which contain his — sometimes totally random — musings, appear only briefly, and CBS has been known to censor them on accasion.

However, last week the closing credits of both ‘Mike & Molly’ and ‘The Big Bang Theory’ contained a “farewell” vanity card, in which Lorre declared that, “It was more fun writing these things when I was fairly certain no one was reading them. That is no longer the case,” he began.

“These days it seems like every vanity card is getting scrutinized and criticized by network executives, corporate legal departments and publicity departments, TV journalists and tabloid bloggers. … Lately it’s gotten out of hand. Which is why I’ve decided to take a break for a few weeks. Let things cool off a little.”

The latest vanity card ends with a somewhat hard-to-decipher reference to “Grace,” which may hark back to Lorre’s days on ‘Grace Under Fire.’ That show ended abruptly because of star Brett Butler’s drug problems. After one unplanned hiatus while Butler was in rehab, her increasingly erratic behavior lead ABC to pull the plug despite strong ratings. (Sound familiar?)

Here’s that vanity card in full:

“CHUCK LORRE PRODUCTIONS, #334

“I understand that I’m under a lot of pressure to respond to certain statements made about me recently. The following are my uncensored thoughts. I hope this will put an end to any further speculation.

“I believe that consciousness creates the illusion of individuation, the false feeling of being separate. In other words, I am aware, ergo I am alone. I further believe that this existential misunderstanding is the prime motivating force for the neurotic compulsion to blot out consciousness. This explains the paradox of our culture, which celebrates the ego while simultaneously promoting its evisceration with drugs and alcohol. It also clarifies our deep-seated fear of monolithic, one-minded systems like communism, religious fundamentalism, zombies and invaders from Mars. Each one is a dark echo of an oceanic state of unifying transcendence from which consciousness must, by nature, flee. The Fall from Grace is, in fact, a Sprint from Grace. Or perhaps more accurately, ‘Screw Grace, I am so outta here!’

“Questions?”

Lorre’s “vanity card #334″ isn’t exactly the statement of a well-balanced mind.

And, the Vanity Card he apparently applied to credits of “Two and a Half Men” about Sheen seems to have inspired Sheen to burst forth from his new-found sobriety onto the airwaves in protest.

Not saying Sheen’s O.K. but there’s a back-story there of provocation, a tete-a-tete between two mostly-badly-set personalities, Lorre and Sheen (or, Lorre vs. Sheen or vice-versa).

Lourdes on March 1, 2011 at 9:47 AM

I was banging 7 gram rocks. Because that’s how I roll. Bro.

kevinkristy on March 1, 2011 at 9:52 AM

One day, feather duster, next day, cock-of-the-walk.

Presto: druggy is a Producer!

Lorre fled from the pathos and attempted a college stint at SUNY Potsdam — where he says that he ”majored in rock & roll and pot and minored in LSD” — before dropping out in 1972 to pursue a career as a songwriter. He spent the next decade touring the country as a guitarist for hire. In 1976, he began experiencing a searing pain in his gut. Desperate and broke, he found his way to a Los Angeles hospital, where — adding insult to injury — he was diagnosed with colitis, a disease that can cause dangerous ulcers.

By 1986, Lorre gave up the music business and turned his attention to TV. ”I was always enamored of telling stories as a songwriter,” says Lorre. ”And it was a natural inclination to make them funny.” Though he had no formal screenwriting training, Lorre broke into the business by writing for animated shows before parlaying that experience into the sitcom world — ultimately scoring a supervising-producer gig on Roseanne in 1990.

Lourdes on March 1, 2011 at 9:53 AM

I was banging 7 gram rocks. Because that’s how I roll. Bro.

kevinkristy on March 1, 2011 at 9:52 AM

Sheen is just another one of the many Professional Drug Users, and, thus, what he has to say is laced with Professional Drug User lines (so to speak).

Lourdes on March 1, 2011 at 9:55 AM

Two words:

Zaphod Beeblebrox

It’s like Douglas Adams wrote the script. It’s perfect. Or, perhaps, prefect.

Professor Blather on March 1, 2011 at 10:00 AM

He really is setting himself up for a cosmic cataclysm. I hate to admit it, but I’m going to enjoy his inevitable meltdown.

Disturb the Universe on March 1, 2011 at 10:02 AM

Lorre’s “vanity card #334″ isn’t exactly the statement of a well-balanced mind.

Lourdes on March 1, 2011 at 9:47 AM

Read it again.

I found it a remarkably sane and cogent explanation for Charlie Sheen and all those who behave like him.

None of which suggests Lorre isn’t also an enormous douchebag in his own right.

But I think he nails the Sheens and Lohans of the world here: the paradox between ego inflation and ego obliteration by chemical means. I like it. It’s groovy.

Eh. I’m probably high. Carry on.

Professor Blather on March 1, 2011 at 10:09 AM

He’s a crackhead. It’s only a matter if time before they find his body amongst porn stars and party trash.

Geronimo on March 1, 2011 at 10:23 AM

Sheen has gone on camera in the past to ask legitimate questions concerning 9-11. As long as Charlie didn’t stray too far from the plantation and his labor was profitable, the plantation owners put up with him. Now I hear Hannity, Beck and other NWO talking puppets attempting to discredit and ruin Sheen in the court of public opinion. The truth isn’t dangerous unless it becomes contagious. That is why Sheen must be portrayed as a nut job.

David2.0 on March 1, 2011 at 10:37 AM

Well, it’s just a good thing that this asshole thinks so highly of himself, because no one else does.

It’s so great that his disguating, lowly rated show is gone. He and it had no redeeming qualities.

Amy Proctor on March 1, 2011 at 10:57 AM

I’d like to step back from all the snark and self-satisfaction, and point out that just because Charlie Sheen has passed a drug test doesn’t mean:

A) He hasn’t found some way to cheat it

B) He is genuinely clean, intends on staying that way, and is permanently and hopelessly brain-damaged

gryphon202 on March 1, 2011 at 12:00 PM

wearyman on March 1, 2011 at 7:55 AM

Carlos doesn’t have the capacity to pull off a high-level “punking” of the public. He isn’t Andy Kaufman.

No, WYSIWYG with this oxygen thief. I’d feel badly for Martin if his upbringing didn’t aim the arrow being fired…

Freelancer on March 1, 2011 at 12:11 PM

Thank you for the Evil Dead 2 reference, even if it doesn’t exactly fit. That’s the greatest horror comedy of the modern era. “Who’s laughing now?!”

emerson7 on March 1, 2011 at 1:18 PM

Sheen has gone on camera in the past to ask legitimate questions concerning 9-11. As long as Charlie didn’t stray too far from the plantation and his labor was profitable, the plantation owners put up with him. Now I hear Hannity, Beck and other NWO talking puppets attempting to discredit and ruin Sheen in the court of public opinion. The truth isn’t dangerous unless it becomes contagious. That is why Sheen must be portrayed as a nut job.

David2.0 on March 1, 2011 at 10:37 AM

Charlie, is that you?? Time for your medication…so to speak.

tickleddragon on March 1, 2011 at 1:58 PM

David2.0 on March 1, 2011 at 10:37 AM

So you’re arguing that being a Truther is his one claim at sanity?

Scrappy on March 1, 2011 at 3:08 PM

Plantation owners?

What kind of “plantation owner’ pays his “slaves” 2 million an episode? You are truly crazy.

Blake on March 1, 2011 at 4:01 PM

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