Audio: And now an important message from Lyndon Johnson

posted at 6:21 pm on January 18, 2011 by Allahpundit

I know what you’re going to say. “A long-dead president talking about his ‘nuts’ isn’t news, AP.” That’s true. It’s not news. It’s history. But look at it this way: If the very same recording emerged featuring Dubya chatting with his tailor about leaving room for the presidential jewels and the knife he carries around in his pocket, it’d be “newsworthy” as evidence of what an embarrassingly gauche yokel he is, wouldn’t it? As it is, this’ll be winked at as proof of LBJ’s alpha-male charm and folksy authenticity. Good enough for a blog post!

With this clip, Johnson officially vaults past Beavis into first place on the “Most Famous People/Characters Ever to Use the Word ‘Bunghole’” list. Exit question: Why does the president of the United States have to order his own pants? Don’t we pay people to do that sort of thing for him? Suddenly I’m seized by the horrible thought that, 40 years from now, we might uncover audio of Obama dictating adjustments to his mom jeans. Click the image to listen.


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“Suddenly I’m seized by the horrible thought that, 40 years from now, we might uncover audio of Obama dictating adjustments to his mom jeans.”

… or Michelle for that matter.

Eeeeeeeeeeewwwwwwwwwwww…!

Seven Percent Solution on January 18, 2011 at 6:27 PM

Sounds like kind of a hick/ahole combo.

Pretty sad display.

RedNewEnglander on January 18, 2011 at 6:28 PM

AP, did you just stumble across this or is it actually “new”? I think I’ve heard it before, but I’m not sure.

DaveS on January 18, 2011 at 6:28 PM

Statesmanship was always his long suit. There is also a rumor he had a pet name for his tallywacker but I’ve seen no reference to it in the presidential library.

a capella on January 18, 2011 at 6:29 PM

Boxers or briefs?

Aw, nuts.

hillbillyjim on January 18, 2011 at 6:29 PM

Good lord. They always make fun of Bush as being a hick but I can’t imagine Bush talking like that.

Suddenly I’m seized by the horrible thought that, 40 years from now, we might uncover audio of Obama dictating adjustments to his mom jeans.

Bwahahahaa

terryannonline on January 18, 2011 at 6:30 PM

No apology to us for “The Great Society?”

ThePrez on January 18, 2011 at 6:30 PM

A man likes his pants a certain way.

catmman on January 18, 2011 at 6:30 PM

I can only imagine what the other guy on the line was thinking…

Emily M. on January 18, 2011 at 6:31 PM

It was the belching that made it classy.

amerpundit on January 18, 2011 at 6:32 PM

If the “best pants I’ve had anywhere in the United States” were like ridin’ a wire fence, I’d hate to have to feel what some of the also-rans were like.

eeyore on January 18, 2011 at 6:32 PM

Better LBJ Quote, upon signing the 1964 Civil Rights Act, giving blacks the actual right to vote:

“I’ll have them n###ers voting Democrat for the next two hundred years.”

The Democratic Party: Trail of Tears, Slavery, Japanese Internment, Segregation – overt racism since 1832!!!!!!

Nuts!

picklesgap on January 18, 2011 at 6:33 PM

Ted Kennedy was never recorded speaking to tailors like that since he hardly ever wore pants.

Cicero43 on January 18, 2011 at 6:33 PM

This is the guy who destroyed the black family right?

Inanemergencydial on January 18, 2011 at 6:34 PM

Late December 1967 or early January 1968 he came to Camp Pendleton. I had to participate in a 105mm howitzer salute to that sh!tbird., after that we had to fall-in and stand at attention while he walked past us and asked our name and where we were from.
LBJ – ” Whats your name boy”
Pvt.fourdeucer sir
LBJ – “Where you from boy”
Michigan sir
LBJ – “Good answer boy”

fourdeucer on January 18, 2011 at 4:54 PM

From the headlines post, yes I am too lazy to retype it.

fourdeucer on January 18, 2011 at 6:37 PM

Big Jim and the twins needed a little extra room.

Too much room, and your pants will fluff when you do a trouser sneeze.

BruthaMan on January 18, 2011 at 6:37 PM

Hey, look at my scar!!!!

falderal on January 18, 2011 at 6:37 PM

At least he didn’t for TP for his bunghole.

csdeven on January 18, 2011 at 6:39 PM

Ha ha. I forgot all about the mom jeans. NERD!!

angryed on January 18, 2011 at 6:40 PM

Welcome to Texas.

Hummer53 on January 18, 2011 at 6:42 PM

Find the one when he and Jackie Kennedy are talking 3 weeks after the assassination. It’s a real trip.

Blake on January 18, 2011 at 6:44 PM

Yeah well, the guy in the middle is LBJ.

Speakup on January 18, 2011 at 6:45 PM

Better LBJ Quote, upon signing the 1964 Civil Rights Act, giving blacks the actual right to vote:

“I’ll have them n###ers voting Democrat for the next two hundred years.”
The Democratic Party: Trail of Tears, Slavery, Japanese Internment, Segregation – overt racism since 1832!!!!!!

Nuts!

picklesgap on January 18, 2011 at 6:33 PM

That one never gets old

darwin-t on January 18, 2011 at 6:46 PM

Huh huh. He said bunghole. Huh huh huh.

Tuning Spork on January 18, 2011 at 6:47 PM

Allah referenced Beavis. Which reminds me: I’d love it if Mike Judge would get together with Trey Prker and Matt Stone and produce a cartoon called “Beavis and Butthead Meet Terrence and Phillip.” Just think of it.

radjah shelduck on January 18, 2011 at 6:50 PM

Didn’t he famously walk around the men’s loos with his d*ck hanging out, murmuring about who he was going to screw that weekend? I think anyone who ever wanted to, and probably quite a few who didn’t, got more than enough of his nuts. What a piece of work.

Fortunata on January 18, 2011 at 6:53 PM

So the left like to demonize reagan and suggest he had Alzheimers in office. What is LBJ’s excuse for being an asshole ?

William Amos on January 18, 2011 at 6:55 PM

This is just nuts.

Jocundus on January 18, 2011 at 6:57 PM

Between JFK’s Havard Application and LBJ’s audio and Carter’s Rabbit story to Clinton’s Monica moment I wonder how the left thinks they have credible Presidents.

Nixon was the low point but even both Bushs and certainly Reagan rank above them.

William Amos on January 18, 2011 at 6:57 PM

Testicular fortitude.

John the Libertarian on January 18, 2011 at 6:57 PM

Imagine if GWB would have belched like that.

At least that president had nuts.

Schadenfreude on January 18, 2011 at 6:58 PM

I heard he had Alzheimer’s while he was in office.

Jocundus on January 18, 2011 at 6:59 PM

“I’ll have them n###ers voting Democrat for the next two hundred years.”

picklesgap on January 18, 2011 at 6:33 PM

…and they are still fully in his pants. What a load!

Schadenfreude on January 18, 2011 at 7:02 PM

It like listening to the Jerky Boys

Kini on January 18, 2011 at 7:04 PM

Unspoken – but I’ll bet it’s true – that LBJ expected those clothes FOR FREE.

Several years after LBJ left office, Parade magazine did an interview with his military aide. Seems one day, while in his Pentagon office, the officer got a call from Lyndon at his home in Texas. Something to the effect ‘Your Commander in Chief is choking to death on dust!’ – and LBJ hung up. The aide called back. Seems all the traffic at the ranch was stirring up the dust on the DIRT road that led from LBJ’s ranch house to the main highway – the DIRT road being on LBJ’s property. Result: military funds (tax dollars) spent to pave LBJ’s driveway – a mile plus long.

GarandFan on January 18, 2011 at 7:08 PM

Little known fact was that this was the conversation he had after Doris Kearns Goodwin said she’d be dropping by next week to start working on the book.

jjshaka on January 18, 2011 at 7:29 PM

Exit question: Why does the president of the United States have to order his own pants? Don’t we pay people to do that sort of thing for him?

The same reason why he picked the targets for the bombing runs every morning during the Vietnam war.

mizflame98 on January 18, 2011 at 7:31 PM

Let’s also not forget that he was the on who HORRIBLY mis-managed Vietnam and wound up getting so many many good men killed.

SgtSVJones on January 18, 2011 at 7:32 PM

Thats book about the Secret Service that came out a few years ago had some tales. Basically, LBJ would screw or pee anywhere, like a barnyard animal. Walk around naked in front of female family, just shameless. As bad a womanizer as the Kennedy boys. He had a bell put in the Oval Office that staff were to ring whenever LadyBird headed downstairs, because she caught him having sex in the office once.

What is it about Dem presidents? In my lifetime, the only Dem who wasn’t a total horndog was Carter.

juliesa on January 18, 2011 at 7:37 PM

LBJ was a nasty man. He use to conduct business with aides and visitors while sitting on the toilet. He would actually have an aide in the bathroom with the stall door open and conducting business. What a disgusting guy!

mizflame98 on January 18, 2011 at 7:39 PM

GarandFan on January 18, 2011 at 7:08 PM

He ripped off a bunch of other stuff from the government according to that Secret Service book I read.

Here I am trashing him, and my parents were big supporters of his in 1964. I remember going to the local campaign HQ with Mom.

Mom and Dad are Republicans now.

juliesa on January 18, 2011 at 7:40 PM

What is it about Dem presidents? In my lifetime, the only Dem who wasn’t a total horndog was Carter.

juliesa on January 18, 2011 at 7:37 PM

I guess that sweater wasn’t sexy enough.

mizflame98 on January 18, 2011 at 7:40 PM

The “presidential bunghole” Stay classy, LBJ.

Claypigeon on January 18, 2011 at 7:42 PM

LBJ was an early practitioner of the Ace of Spades Lifestyle™.

juliesa on January 18, 2011 at 7:42 PM

He was a Long Tall Texan.

lonestar1 on January 18, 2011 at 7:44 PM

Hey hey LBJ

Hide those plums, yo pubes are grey

Grunchy Cranola on January 18, 2011 at 7:56 PM

Taking measurements over the phone is very dangerous, -that’s how Michelle ended up with this sweater: Iron Chef America…

slickwillie2001 on January 18, 2011 at 8:16 PM

I’ve heard this a while ago, and yes, it’s the Haggar of Haggar pants.

alflauren on January 18, 2011 at 8:17 PM

Find the one when he and Jackie Kennedy are talking 3 weeks after the assassination. It’s a real trip.

Blake on January 18, 2011 at 6:44 PM

This one? http://whitehousetapes.net/clips/lbj_jackie_kennedy.html

Inkblots on January 18, 2011 at 8:32 PM

So the left like to demonize reagan and suggest he had Alzheimers in office. What is LBJ’s excuse for being an asshole ?

William Amos on January 18, 2011 at 6:55 PM

Uh, he was a Democrat?

Amendment X on January 18, 2011 at 8:32 PM

I think everyone knows he was a sleaze. He was generally involved with *at least* two other women besides Lady Bird at any given time and sometimes more. He generally bedded the women in his secretarial pool.

I am pretty sure they buried him face down so he could watch where he’s going.

crosspatch on January 18, 2011 at 8:45 PM

This one? http://whitehousetapes.net/clips/lbj_jackie_kennedy.html

Inkblots on January 18, 2011 at 8:32 PM

Please tell me that was a spoof.

mizflame98 on January 18, 2011 at 8:45 PM

LBJ: I alsa wont ya ta put out a rumma thet mah o-pon-net has had carnal know-ledge of the pigs on his farm.

Aide: Good Lord, Lyndon, nobody’s gonna believe he f*cked his pigs!

LBJ: Ah don’t kare if the peeple bee-leeve it, Ah jest want the sum bitch ta hafta de-nigh it.

True story.

You can look it up.

Bruno Strozek on January 18, 2011 at 8:45 PM

I’m sorry. I just listened to the tape and even though LBJ was an absolute embarrassment, he sure does make a great comedy record.

mizflame98 on January 18, 2011 at 8:51 PM

I have a message for LBJ too but I’d be banned or censored for saying it.

B@stard.

B Man on January 18, 2011 at 8:52 PM

The man was entertaining. I can’t help it, I like the guy. His ranch is breathtaking.

lonestar1 on January 18, 2011 at 9:37 PM

Hot Air: It’s Come To This

Metro on January 18, 2011 at 9:43 PM

What do johns ask hookers for in Tijuana?

toliver on January 18, 2011 at 5:47 PM

I never got an answer in the last thread.

toliver on January 18, 2011 at 10:13 PM

What do johns ask hookers for in Tijuana?

toliver on January 18, 2011 at 5:47 P

M

I never got an answer in the last thread.

toliver on January 18, 2011 at 10:13 PM

An el bj?

toliver on January 18, 2011 at 11:07 PM

An el bj?

toliver on January 18, 2011 at 11:07 PM

You are a wise an learned man.

toliver on January 18, 2011 at 11:08 PM

Very funny stuff, great commentary!

bayam on January 19, 2011 at 12:36 AM

How is there a recording of this?

Pablo Snooze on January 19, 2011 at 1:30 AM