Video: How real men celebrate Christmas
posted at 10:02 pm on December 22, 2010 by Allahpundit
We haven’t had any palate cleansers lately and, judging from our comment numbers, most of our readers have checked out for Christmas anyway, so let’s get festive. How manly is this dish? It’s manlier than a bunch of Marines watching football while smoking cigars. It’s manlier than a cowboy hunting lions with a knife. It’s manlier than a genetically engineered hybrid of Chris Christie, Dale Peterson, and Ted Nugent. Even a single bite would instantly transform even the lowliest beta male (ahem) into an alpha. We could run this thing as the tea party candidate for Senate in Maine two years from now and it would beat Olympia Snowe. By 35 points.
This is the sort of dish, actually, that I can imagine the Palins sitting down to. Until Mike Huckabee bursts through the door, tears streaming down his face, and tosses it to the floor in rage.
Blowback
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Dude.
Karl on December 22, 2010 at 10:11 PM
That was a great tribute to those animals who made up this….this MEAT masterpiece!
Rightwingguy on December 22, 2010 at 10:14 PM
Nope, these are girlie men. The buns and the potatoes give it away.
unclesmrgol on December 22, 2010 at 10:16 PM
Oh. My. Gawd. I think I feel chest hair sprouting just from watching that.
One Angry Christian on December 22, 2010 at 10:16 PM
This is the perfect bachelor’s Christmas meal. Beta male heaven.
D0WNT0WN on December 22, 2010 at 10:17 PM
Oh my.
Wind Rider on December 22, 2010 at 10:17 PM
Get a little toy soldier and BINGO we got the new Happy Meal, The Mac Slaughterhouse. Banned in San Francisco!
PC14 on December 22, 2010 at 10:17 PM
Animals taste good.
Sugar Land on December 22, 2010 at 10:18 PM
Needs more bacon.
GnuBreed on December 22, 2010 at 10:18 PM
Don’t think a RINO could handle this :-)
KeepOhioRed on December 22, 2010 at 10:18 PM
AP: I nominate your description of this for a Nobel Prize in Literature (considering the low standard the Nobel committee sometimes sets, you should be a slam dunk!)
michaelo on December 22, 2010 at 10:19 PM
That was a super-sized steaming pile of AWESOME!!!!
JohnGalt23 on December 22, 2010 at 10:20 PM
MEN: What up ribs?
Ribs: What up, playa, playa?
Rightwingguy on December 22, 2010 at 10:22 PM
Finally…!
Something appropriate to get rid of the taste that everything the Democrats just shoved down our throats.
Thanks Allah…
… Merry Christmas!
Seven Percent Solution on December 22, 2010 at 10:25 PM
When my kids were little (and I could eat whatever I damn pleased,) Dad’s special hot dogs:
Grilled nat casing dogs, wrapped in hot capicola, topped with provalone, onions and jalapenos.
massrighty on December 22, 2010 at 10:26 PM
Should be mandatory viewing at GITMO. ✪
TXUS on December 22, 2010 at 10:29 PM
Thank GOD animals are made out of FOOD…
viviliberoomuori on December 22, 2010 at 10:31 PM
Heh, i saw another vid this guy did called fast food sushi if i remember right. It was exactly what it sounds like, he took a lot of stuff from McDonalds and rolled it up like sushi.
clearbluesky on December 22, 2010 at 10:34 PM
That will get the taste of weed and hooker-spit out of your mouth….or NOTHING will.
Mord on December 22, 2010 at 10:35 PM
ohhhhh yesssssss
Jeddite on December 22, 2010 at 10:39 PM
AP for QOTD!
nukemhill on December 22, 2010 at 10:41 PM
They had me until the Cheez-wiz.
katy the mean old lady on December 22, 2010 at 10:41 PM
PC14: the ‘toy’ that would come in the happy meal would be something like a tactical tomahawk.
michaelo on December 22, 2010 at 10:49 PM
Great, THANKS Allah…don`t suppose you`d wanna pick me up something to eat now huh? Epic indeed!
NY Conservative on December 22, 2010 at 10:53 PM
Real men don’t own pastry bags. Sorry.
Ronnie on December 22, 2010 at 10:57 PM
And thus definitely not for real men.
Connie on December 22, 2010 at 11:18 PM
I appreciate the spirit, if not the faux-gangsta attitude. But they took those beautifully rare tenderloin steaks, and incinerated them to make their house. That’s just wrong, and all the bacon in the world can’t make it not wrong.
Splunge on December 22, 2010 at 11:19 PM
They see me eatin’
They hatin’
Rosmerta on December 22, 2010 at 11:21 PM
Thanks for sharing Allah. My wife got me a new smoker for Christmas. Now I know how to really break it in.
Hi Ho Silver Away!
crazedarmenian on December 22, 2010 at 11:21 PM
Nobody at that table looks fat to me
Dollayo on December 22, 2010 at 11:26 PM
Steak is a temple. Worship it maggots!
WitchDoctor on December 22, 2010 at 11:29 PM
glorious
Drunk Report on December 22, 2010 at 11:34 PM
The most epic use of a soundtrack I’ve seen all year. LOL
inviolet on December 22, 2010 at 11:48 PM
_This_ is a “real man’s meal”?
*snort*
No – THIS is a real man’s meal:
http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_FFgdkoMFeF0/TRLksVy5IoI/AAAAAAAACO4/ZJhPuPctRYU/s1600/Roast%2BPig.JPG
Making little houses out of food. Pathetic.
Timothy S. Carlson on December 23, 2010 at 1:00 AM
Cheez whiz… how RINO can you get. Pfffft.
Mr Michael on December 23, 2010 at 2:36 AM
This assclown fool will be joining me in cardio rehab one day………provided he survives the inevitable heart attack!
pilamaye on December 23, 2010 at 5:45 AM
is that sposed to be a log cabin or somethin
ted c on December 23, 2010 at 6:16 AM
A friend of mine tried making Bacon-infused Bourbon at Thanksgiving…tasted like absolute sh*t. Hopefully, the Jack Daniels Bacon Eggnog will taste better this Christmas!
Kevin71 on December 23, 2010 at 7:21 AM
Meat locker, dude. It’s where Bad Santa gonna stick you when you be naughty.
Rod on December 23, 2010 at 7:26 AM
For Christmas this year my wife is making chocolate covered bacon and my daughter is making a bacon pecan pie.
Oldnuke on December 23, 2010 at 7:44 AM
Real men own whatever they want and they don’t worry about what some little twinkletoed namby pamby wussie thinks about it. Oh yeah, we can eat quiche too…so piss off.
Oldnuke on December 23, 2010 at 7:47 AM
drowning in a pool of hot cheez whiz and entrapped by walls of bacon and steak…..
I’m having trouble visualizing that but laughing while I do…..
ted c on December 23, 2010 at 7:51 AM
Is it heaven? Because it’s raining bacon.
LOLz
Good Lt on December 23, 2010 at 7:54 AM
My jaw was open for 3/4 of this vid. I paged it to Mr. PPF see if they can sneak out and find a PC that can play YouTube (hospital restrictions, ykwim).
That is one major arteries’ clutter, insane! When he poured the Cheez Whiz, I thought it was Ragu’s Cheese Sauce-kicks butt with nachos for my kids, still little. Definitely, I will keep this vid up for Mr. PPF Jr. to see. He’ll wanna dive in and eat the whole thing.
He loves KFC’s Double Down-thanks Allah! Now he EATS like he’s supposed to!
ProudPalinFan on December 23, 2010 at 8:00 AM
Is there any way we can have Sarah fly to Afghanistan and Iraq with a bunch of those “puppies”? That beats the turkey I proposed hands down.
ProudPalinFan on December 23, 2010 at 8:03 AM
Can I get this as cologne?
Dread Pirate Roberts VI on December 23, 2010 at 8:07 AM
Mr. PPF called, yeah they have the YouTube banned, so he will see if someone can get a smartphone to watch it. I described the video the best I could, but the Heart Center OR will be in awesomely awesome mood-and some with serious artery blocker comments (me thinks that’d be the nurses) hehehe!
ProudPalinFan on December 23, 2010 at 8:23 AM
I didn’t see Bullwinkle or Rudolph in that protien orgy.
CDeb on December 23, 2010 at 9:21 AM
Dude should have used a mortar bag.
Now that’s alpha male!
pain train on December 23, 2010 at 9:33 AM
Julianne Malveaux sent one of these to Justice Clarence Thomas. He ate it, belched into a zip-lock baggy and sent it back to her as a “thank you”.
Extrafishy on December 23, 2010 at 10:02 AM
Just because you can do something doesn’t mean you should.
BobOfTexas on December 23, 2010 at 10:25 AM
Oh jeez that made me nauseous.
AlexB on December 23, 2010 at 10:39 AM
Why didn’t they put the bacon grease in the mashed potatoes too?
Sissies.
:)
Aggie85 on December 23, 2010 at 11:00 AM
I just sent this to all the real men on my email list. Let’s see if I get any calls from a grieving widow next week!
odat on December 23, 2010 at 11:54 AM
Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm…..
BACON!!!!
landlines on December 23, 2010 at 12:00 PM
ROFLMAO! Kids, don’t try making this at home — these are trained professionals!!
EasyEight on December 23, 2010 at 12:07 PM
Tears of joy..
CBarker on December 23, 2010 at 4:43 PM
I need to rethink that Christmas bird. Hmm, maybe with just the right bacon stuffing…
JusDreamin on December 23, 2010 at 7:19 PM