Bad news from freed detainee: The Jews used witchcraft on me at Gitmo

posted at 9:15 pm on December 22, 2010 by Allahpundit

Tom Joscelyn has some brief biographical details on this guy in case you’re curious to know how he landed in U.S. military custody. He’s actually the less interesting of the two men onscreen here, though; as Aaron Worthing notes, the most revealing element of this clip is how credulous Al Jazeera’s reporter is when Hajj takes his sudden detour into Looneytown. Is that because the AJ team is so eager for anti-American propaganda that they’re willing to let even a claim as insane as this pass unchallenged, knowing full well that it’s nuts but expecting that plenty of viewers will accept it at face value? Or is it that the AJ team itself considers this story plausible? Mark Steyn once described the prospect of nuclear terrorism as lying at “the intersection of apparently indestructible ancient ignorance and cheap, widely available western technology.” This clip, broadcast throughout the region, has precisely the same coordinates.

What’s ironic is that Jazeera could have spun Hajj’s story into a sophisticated bit of agitprop — i.e. “the detainees were so badly treated that some of them went mad” — but, at least in the four minutes clipped by MEMRI, they chose not to. Is that because Hajj admits at the beginning here that, er, some of the prisoners didn’t take the meds they were prescribed? Ah well. Look on the bright side: When it comes to pastimes favored by freed Gitmo detainees, mumbling about Jewish warlocks is the least of our worries.


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Europe. Middle Ages. Heretics. Something comes to mind …

OldEnglish on December 22, 2010 at 9:17 PM

Coulda been worse for the guy – he coulda been penetrated by a pig…

Jeddite on December 22, 2010 at 9:18 PM

Yeah, and they made you take a shower with Barney Frank too.

A twofer.

Yes, I can go both ways (so to speak).

SteveMG on December 22, 2010 at 9:20 PM

” I got betta.”

ThePrez on December 22, 2010 at 9:21 PM

Brotherhood of the talking pants.

ronsfi on December 22, 2010 at 9:22 PM

A cat was trying to penetrate him? Give that man some anti-psychotic meds STAT.

Kermit on December 22, 2010 at 9:22 PM

Yes and the jew turned me into a newt!

A newt?

Well, um, I got better…

SPCOlympics on December 22, 2010 at 9:23 PM

Someone needs to explain to the followers of What’s his name, that cell phones are witchcraft, magical devices that only work because the evil joos use them to read minds.

Skandia Recluse on December 22, 2010 at 9:23 PM

He should thank his lucky stars that the JOOOOSSS didn’t use dolphins.

Or attack him with a mind-controlled shark…..

mjk on December 22, 2010 at 9:23 PM

I am not a cat.

faraway on December 22, 2010 at 9:25 PM

It’s obvious that INTELLIGENCE never penetrated him.

GarandFan on December 22, 2010 at 9:25 PM

Evidently Jewish magic is too weak to control the mind of a creature stuck in the 13th century.

amerpundit on December 22, 2010 at 9:28 PM

Christine O’Donnell works in wonderous ways…

… Go get ‘em, Christine!

Seven Percent Solution on December 22, 2010 at 9:29 PM

LORIEN!!!

darwin-t on December 22, 2010 at 9:33 PM

“Charles Johnson, please pick up the blue & white courtesy phone …”

OhioCoastie on December 22, 2010 at 9:34 PM

Oh No. Seeing all the evil joos and their witchy ways. Yeah okay. Now, get back on your meds.

anXdem on December 22, 2010 at 9:35 PM

Seven Percent Solution on December 22, 2010 at 9:29 PM

I was going to say I didn’t know she campaigned in GITMO.

fourdeucer on December 22, 2010 at 9:36 PM

Ahhh–the dancing cats were kittens.

dragondrop on December 22, 2010 at 9:37 PM

I was going to say I didn’t know she campaigned in GITMO.

fourdeucer on December 22, 2010 at 9:36 PM

Didn’t Obama’s census count illegal immigrants?

faraway on December 22, 2010 at 9:38 PM

Coulda been worse for the guy – he coulda been penetrated by a pig…

Jeddite on December 22, 2010 at 9:18 PM

Or a horse!

Geronimo on December 22, 2010 at 9:44 PM

Old: Water Boarding

New: Cat Penetration

So which Liberal Reporter will get Cat Penetrated on Air in order to prove that CP is torture?

A. Shepard Smith
B. Geraldo Rivera
C. Anderson Cooper
D. Chris Matthews

portlandon on December 22, 2010 at 9:47 PM

Couldn’t have happened. Gitmo was already closed.

CWforFreedom on December 22, 2010 at 9:48 PM

“Charles Johnson, please pick up the blue & white courtesy phone …”

OhioCoastie on December 22, 2010 at 9:34 PM

ROTFLOL

Kjeil on December 22, 2010 at 9:50 PM

I think if someone were going to the trouble to use witchcraft I don’t think a cat would be the penetration tool of choice.

Speakup on December 22, 2010 at 9:53 PM

Is “cat” jihadspeak for “boy-loving Afghan cellmate”?

Jorge Bonilla on December 22, 2010 at 9:54 PM

SPCOlympics on December 22, 2010 at 9:23 PM

Heh. But did the Jews float?

peski on December 22, 2010 at 9:57 PM

Coulda been worse for the guy – he coulda been penetrated by a pig…

Jeddite on December 22, 2010 at 9:18 PM

Or a horse!

Geronimo on December 22, 2010 at 9:44 PM

Or Sarah Palin with a Mossberg.

peski on December 22, 2010 at 9:59 PM

This sums it up.

Oldnuke on December 22, 2010 at 10:07 PM

Did you see the 72 Virgins in your vision quest?.

hawkman on December 22, 2010 at 10:14 PM

Did it work?

Wind Rider on December 22, 2010 at 10:19 PM

He should count his blessings. I would’ve used worse, and it would’ve been real.

SouthernGent on December 22, 2010 at 10:19 PM

The Jews used witchcraft on me at Gitmo

Undoubtedly this is true. Time for a billion dollar Special Consul, right, Eric?

MaiDee on December 22, 2010 at 10:21 PM

I’m a big supporter of Israel, but if they’re resorting to witchcraft now, I’m out.

Kensington on December 22, 2010 at 10:27 PM

That wasn’t a cat Haji.

Vigilante on December 22, 2010 at 10:27 PM

He was Ouija-boarded.
Dastardly.

justltl on December 22, 2010 at 10:29 PM

I guess they haven’t repealed DADT

mad scientist on December 22, 2010 at 11:07 PM

Gives a whole new meaning to “Cat Stevens”.

bofh on December 22, 2010 at 11:07 PM

Old: Water Boarding

New: Cat Penetration

So which Liberal Reporter will get Cat Penetrated on Air in order to prove that CP is torture?

A. Shepard Smith
B. Geraldo Rivera
C. Anderson Cooper
D. Chris Matthews

portlandon on December 22, 2010 at 9:47 PM

Safe money is on Shep.

Tim Zank on December 22, 2010 at 11:08 PM

I was waiting for the Sudanese Hadji guy to break into song…

“Those fingers in my hair.
That sly come hither stare
that strips my conscience bare
it’s witchcraft.

And I’ve got no defense for it.
The heat is too intense for it.
What good would commonsense for it do?

‘Cause it’s witchcraft!”

coldwarrior on December 22, 2010 at 11:23 PM

That “cat” thing surely had to be a mistranslation…

Perhaps another word for cat would describe this ex-Club Gitmo guy?

coldwarrior on December 22, 2010 at 11:25 PM

Leave it to the Joooos to screw up interrogation….never.

If the Jooos were doing it, they’d do it right. Instead of the cat, it would have been Ron Jeremy.

wildweasel on December 22, 2010 at 11:37 PM

Islam as well as being the most ignorant of cultures is also very superstitious. Djinns (Genies) lurk everywhere, not just in bottles. An ordinary dog can have 20 or more Djinns in its nose alone. These all have different types of penalties to the unwary Muslim. Some might merely make you forget to pray, some might make your genitals shrivel up and fall off. The very worst are harbored by fully black dogs. I’m pretty sure the AJ Muslim was genuinely eager to hear it. I remember back in the war when Muslims believed buried true martyrs formed a fierce smile on their two or three day old dead faces. It was popular for mujaheddin to disinter their heroes to check it out. Islam is awesome.

BL@KBIRD on December 22, 2010 at 11:40 PM

We should make these guys watch “I Dream of Jeannie” 24/7. Their heads would explode.

RadClown on December 22, 2010 at 11:47 PM

And the left thinks that all cultures are equivalent….

HBowmanMD on December 22, 2010 at 11:49 PM

“the intersection of apparently indestructible ancient ignorance and cheap, widely available western technology.”

This is why you should never, ever, give your Congressman an iPad.

Bruno Strozek on December 22, 2010 at 11:52 PM

Oh, please. We don’t use witchcraft.

We use mind control rays.

Meryl Yourish on December 23, 2010 at 12:54 AM

Oh, please. We don’t use witchcraft.

We use mind control rays.

Meryl Yourish on December 23, 2010 at 12:54 AM

LOL +100

Slowburn on December 23, 2010 at 2:00 AM

That’s just precious….

lexhamfox on December 23, 2010 at 2:10 AM

BL@KBIRD on December 22, 2010 at 11:40 PM

Someday you should check out African Christians on the ‘front line.’ They are just as precious.

lexhamfox on December 23, 2010 at 2:12 AM

Oh, please. We don’t use witchcraft.

We use mind control rays.

Meryl Yourish on December 23, 2010 at 12:54 AM

True! But have you tried the rays on cats against Jihadis? Get creative!

Shy Guy on December 23, 2010 at 2:18 AM

This would make a great SNL skit. In fact, you wouldn’t need to alter one line for the comedic effect.

whiskeytango on December 23, 2010 at 5:22 AM

I wonder if this guy’s ancesters were those guys flying around the pyramids without wings until the white man came to Africa?

(as per a CUNY professor of African-American studies a decade or two back.)

Don L on December 23, 2010 at 6:25 AM

Just a few bricks shy…

ncborn on December 23, 2010 at 6:51 AM

Europe. Middle Ages. Heretics. Something comes to mind …

OldEnglish on December 22, 2010 at 9:17 PM

Not a surprise. It is 1432, after all.

factoid on December 23, 2010 at 7:04 AM

Even if some rogue elements in the military have apparently used witchcraft on detainees at Guantanamo contrary to our laws, customs and values, it is important for all of us decent, law-abiding folks to state unequivocally that the American people abhor, reject and denounce the use of witchcraft on prisoners.

factoid on December 23, 2010 at 7:09 AM

Oh, please. We don’t use witchcraft.

We use mind control rays.

Meryl Yourish on December 23, 2010 at 12:54 AM

I have this to say to that.

Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic.
Arthur C. Clarke, “Profiles of The Future”, 1961 (Clarke’s third law)
English physicist & science fiction author (1917 – )

Oldnuke on December 23, 2010 at 7:53 AM

Coulda been worse for the guy – he coulda been penetrated by a pig…

Jeddite on December 22, 2010 at 9:18 PM

Or a horse!

Geronimo on December 22, 2010 at 9:44 PM

Geronimo, did you watch Airplane last night? It reminded me of two things: “Yes” means “No”, and they sounded like they were speaking jive.

ProudPalinFan on December 23, 2010 at 8:13 AM

The Jews used witchcraft on me at Gitmo

Now when I kneel on my prayer rug towards Mecca, I am suddenly overcome by this uncontrollable urge to consume vast amounts of motza ball soup and lox and bagels!!!!

pilamaye on December 23, 2010 at 8:26 AM

Think of all the talking points the libs can get from this.

Wills on December 23, 2010 at 8:47 AM

I’m betting that the Obama administration is even now launching an investigation into this Jewish use of witchcraft on these poor “brothers”. It will eventually be determined that it is Bush’s fault.

MikeA on December 23, 2010 at 8:50 AM

C’mon people! Didn’t read the guys bio?!? His favorite movie is “Monty Python & the Holy Grail”!!! ;-)

Carl on December 23, 2010 at 9:29 AM

This is so much more believable than the Quran in the toilet thing.

I mean flushing a Koran? Americans wouldn’t waste their time! It isn’t even two-ply.

Black Adam on December 23, 2010 at 9:43 AM

It’s Wesley Snipes!!!! And here I thought he was sent to regular prison, not Club Gitmo!!

search4truth on December 23, 2010 at 9:49 AM

I am the Jew who put that spell on him. He is not crazy.

AlexB on December 23, 2010 at 10:03 AM

Though I detest Obama I like his policy of just killing the terrorists via drone instead of arresting them for information. If arrested they are always eventually released and you get this crap. You win a war once you have killed a sufficient number of the enemy, not until then.

Mojave Mark on December 23, 2010 at 11:19 AM

What? Did O’Donnell do any campaigning down there at GITMO?

kens on December 23, 2010 at 11:35 AM

The man is a bit short of a full load! I wonder how many idiots in the Middle East will believe this nutcase?

SC.Charlie on December 23, 2010 at 12:14 PM

The man is a bit short of a full load! I wonder how many idiots in the Middle East will believe this nutcase?

SC.Charlie on December 23, 2010 at 12:14 PM

I wonder how many will NOT believe him.

AlexB on December 23, 2010 at 1:16 PM

the most revealing element of this clip is how credulous Al Jazeera’s reporter is when Hajj takes his sudden detour into Looneytown.

What makes you think the reporter and the rest of the backward scum at Al Jazeera don’t believe it is all true?

woodNfish on December 23, 2010 at 1:49 PM