Good news: Climate change summit attendees sign petition to ban “dihydrogen monoxide”

posted at 5:21 pm on December 9, 2010 by Allahpundit

To cleanse the palate via CFACT and Watts Up With That, an old joke but a good one. As always with these gags, there’s no telling how many people caught on and refused to sign or how many of the signatories were actual conferees versus hangers on, but don’t let that spoil your fun (much). My chief criticism: Given how far some true believers are willing to go to enforce green discipline, these pranksters could have ventured waaaaay beyond the proposal at the beginning here about cutting American GDP. If you’re not going to goof on hardline environmentalists by egging them on about population control, why goof on ‘em at all?

Update: Headline comments imported.

Breaking on Hot Air

Blowback

Note from Hot Air management: This section is for comments from Hot Air's community of registered readers. Please don't assume that Hot Air management agrees with or otherwise endorses any particular comment just because we let it stand. A reminder: Anyone who fails to comply with our terms of use may lose their posting privilege.

Trackbacks/Pings

Trackback URL

Comments

Comment pages: 1 2

I’d recommend a snipe hunt, but the Feds bagged him already.

GnuBreed on December 9, 2010 at 3:16 PM

lol
Wesley the tax evader.

Count to 10 on December 9, 2010 at 5:59 PM

The only thing needed to cure our ailing climate is a left handed smoke shifter…

Seven Percent Solution on December 9, 2010 at 5:59 PM

GnuBreed on December 9, 2010 at 3:16 PM

Were you a Boy Scout? We used to take all our newbies out on the salt flats for a snipe hunt. We warned them tho, don’t get caught by the Moss Man!

odat on December 9, 2010 at 6:00 PM

I forgot the smoke sifter we’d send them to other troops to borrow. They’d send them to another troop, they’d send them….you get the picture. They’d get back about two hours later with a palm frond.

odat on December 9, 2010 at 6:01 PM

In the submarine service, we asked newbies to go back to the engine room and fetch a fallopian tube calibrator or a jar of relative bearing grease.

thirteen28 on December 9, 2010 at 4:43 PM

On construction sites, new guys get sent to the super to ask for a board stretcher.

TexasDan on December 9, 2010 at 6:01 PM

Obama said he was going to heal the planet and recede the salty DHMO.

Electrongod on December 9, 2010 at 6:01 PM

When working in fast food I had the new guy fill the drinking fountain. As I told the manager when he came after me. “The same trick was pulled on me when I was new, I just wasn’t stupid enough to fall for it.”

Slowburn on December 9, 2010 at 6:10 PM

Good news: Climate change summit attendees sign petition to ban “dihydrogen monoxide”

The attendees should sign a petition to ban themselves.

rukiddingme on December 9, 2010 at 6:13 PM

On construction sites, new guys get sent to the super to ask for a board stretcher.

TexasDan on December 9, 2010 at 6:01 PM

Or a box of toe nails.

chewydog on December 9, 2010 at 6:14 PM

Laughing at leftist twits in a target-rich environment. Good fun.

Jaibones on December 9, 2010 at 6:17 PM

Must be these people.

JammieWearingFool on December 9, 2010 at 3:15 PM

Maybe they should talk to these guys…

http://abcnews.go.com/Technology/TenWays/story?id=2202916&page=1

tinkerthinker on December 9, 2010 at 6:20 PM

Do bow hunters really collect bows?

mixplix on December 9, 2010 at 6:25 PM


Petition to Set a Global Standard” sought to isolate and punish the United States of America for defying the international community …

I’d sign that!

I’d sign it “Goephuq Yerselph”!

Tony737 on December 9, 2010 at 6:31 PM

Are they going to impose a pee tax now?

OxyCon on December 9, 2010 at 6:35 PM

Penn & Teller already did it.

But they probably banned Oxygen from the summit. That’s why there brains are deprived.

scrubbiedude on December 9, 2010 at 6:48 PM

I know this is supposed to be some kind of prank, but Good Lord people, they are trying to ban Carbon Dioxide!!!

CO2 is no different than water when it comes to importance in the life-cycle.

Plus, what makes you think these libs wouldn’t ban the use of water??

cntrlfrk on December 9, 2010 at 6:58 PM

I wonder if these people would be interested in bulk purchasing batteries for sound-powered phones.

We also have specials running this month on relative bearing grease and BT Punch.

A Balrog of Morgoth on December 9, 2010 at 7:13 PM

These enviros are way too smart for their own good! Just goes to show that some people are lemmings!

Rndguy on December 9, 2010 at 7:21 PM

Wesley the tax evader.

Count to 10 on December 9, 2010 at 5:59 PM

I didn’t realize Wesley was a conservative.

ladyingray on December 9, 2010 at 7:23 PM

Humor is a strong weapon. We should continue to use it. These petitions are a great idea! What else that is essential can we set up to be banned?

Little Nell on December 9, 2010 at 7:26 PM

Breaking records in Cancun:

Here are existing Record Lows and Forecast Lows in upcoming days:

Wednesday: 53 °F (2003) Forecast: 51°F

Thursday: 60 °F (2000) Forecast: 59°F

Friday: 60 °F (1999) Forecast: 55°F

Saturday: 57 °F (2003) Forecast: 53°F

Sunday: 55 °F (2008) Forecast: 51°F

http://faustasblog.com/?p=24180

davidk on December 9, 2010 at 7:29 PM

Wesley the tax evader.

Count to 10 on December 9, 2010 at 5:59 PM

Not exactly. He kinda got railroaded. He was not guilty on tax evasion, was guilty on one count of (roughly) “pissing off the judge and being made an example of.”

He’s a lot less guilty than the Treasury Secretary and Chollie Rangel.

misterpeasea on December 9, 2010 at 7:29 PM

We’d send the new lad to fetch a glass hammer, a skirting-board ladder, a set of new bubbles for a spirit-level, and maybe a can of black-and-white paint.

JohninLondon on December 9, 2010 at 7:40 PM

Nothing like hunting all over the base for a 5 gallon can of Prop Wash to break in a newbie.

davidk on December 9, 2010 at 7:43 PM

Nothing like hunting all over the base for a 5 gallon can of Prop Wash to break in a newbie.

davidk on December 9, 2010 at 7:43 PM

Heh… Or have the kid research the national stock numbers for K9P and 50 feet of flight line.

I once thought I was getting the business when a coworker started talking about a “metric adjustable wrench”… until he showed me the listing in a Montgomery Ward catalog.

darkpixel on December 9, 2010 at 8:03 PM

Don’t forget to send apprentice mechanics for a tweeter valve for ’68 VW Microbus.

darwin-t on December 9, 2010 at 8:04 PM

Don’t forget to send apprentice mechanics for a tweeter valve for ’68 VW Microbus.

darwin-t on December 9, 2010 at 8:04 PM

I always thought that telling someone their “High-speed Duffling Pin” was faulty made the day pass much better…

viviliberoomuori on December 9, 2010 at 8:08 PM

That was so freakin funny!

JellyToast on December 9, 2010 at 8:21 PM

Forget the DHMO. That’s a lost cause. The stuff that’s equally deadly, but that hardly anyone talks about,
is hydrogen hydroxide.

Confutus on December 9, 2010 at 8:22 PM

is hydrogen hydroxide.

Confutus on December 9, 2010 at 8:22 PM

Well it is the Christmas season!

HOHOHOHOHOH :-)

Oldnuke on December 9, 2010 at 8:32 PM

The Good News: They’ve been exposed for the ignorant dolts they truly are.

The BAD News: They breed….

bannedbyhuffpo on December 9, 2010 at 5:50 PM

Yeah, but they also abort, (proudly I might add) , so with a little luck they may eventually just phase themselves out of existence…

…just hope I am still around to celebrate.. I may just go on a month-long bender !

cableguy615 on December 9, 2010 at 9:04 PM

We’d send the new lad to fetch a glass hammer, a skirting-board ladder, a set of new bubbles for a spirit-level, and maybe a can of black-and-white paint.

JohninLondon on December 9, 2010 at 7:40 PM

But you didn’t get him to change the summer air to winter air in the truck’s tires or collect an exhaust sample from the dirtiest diesel engine on the site?

An Air Force-specific one was being sent to Supply for 100 feet of flight line and a bucket of prop/jet wash.

And one time a restaurant sent the new waitress to the neighboring restaurant for a steam refill.

James on December 9, 2010 at 9:13 PM

Maybe someone ought to get those “Scientists” to sign a petition to make snipes and jackalopes endangered species, because, you know, humans are hunting them to extinction. I bet they’d sign that…

cebj25 on December 9, 2010 at 9:17 PM

cebj25 on December 9, 2010 at 9:17 PM

I bagged a snipe in the boy scouts. Angry little critter.

John the Libertarian on December 9, 2010 at 9:34 PM

we used to send new guys to the line shack to the marines next door for a “gunny punch”.

they’d come back with a sore arm LOL

occasionally we’d send them to calibration for a “meter/ton” calibrated torque wrench….

warhorse_03826 on December 9, 2010 at 9:53 PM

I worked as a medic and one newby was asked to go retrieve a box of “priaprisms” from the paramedic rig.

I pays to have a big vocabulary to avoid embarrassment. Also you might want to wear latex gloves for this chore.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Priapism

icemaniceman1111 on December 9, 2010 at 9:55 PM

Wow. Hard to believe it has gotten so deep into this thread and no one has written about sending the newbies to get the keys to the oar locks.

Cecil on December 9, 2010 at 10:08 PM

fogw on December 9, 2010 at 5:26 PM

That’s why it’s no longer called “Global Warming”.
Oddly enough warm temperatures was the reason they stopped calling it “Global Freezing”.
Now it’s “Climate Change” which doesn’t actually predict anything.

We are sooooooooooo lucky to have these Intellectually Superior beings guiding us idiots through all this hard stuff!

Ever wonder what change in order to go from “Global Freezing” to “Global Warming”?

It wasn’t the data. Ice cores are ice cores, tree rings are tree rings, these things didn’t change, so what did?

It was “How” the “Data” was entered into the computer model.

(Channeling Charlton Heston Soylent Green)

Climate Change……. It’s an Algebra problem!

DSchoen on December 9, 2010 at 10:31 PM

50 yards of flight line and a bucket of propwash. Pronto!

AH_C on December 9, 2010 at 10:56 PM

This is all good fun, just like the one the other day about Obama being a Keynesian, but you should realize you could get just as many signatures at a Tea Party rally to ban thespians from proselytizing within 50 feet of any church, synagogue or other place of worship.

The truth is, many people quit paying attention at school before long words were part of the curriculum. Most of them went on to live normal lives, but some of them became radical environmentalists or professional patriots. That’s life. Now let’s move on.

factoid on December 9, 2010 at 11:05 PM

For cryin out loud.
These are the same people who, when you ask them:

What’s heavier: “a Pound of Feathers” or “a Pound of Lead”,

Will always answer: Lead.

(And strictly speaking, water-vapor IS a far more potent greenhouse gas than CO2… Of course, the water-vapor content of the atmosphere has more to do with evaporation due to levels of solar thermal induction, enthalpy of vaporization, pressurization, and all sorts of other factors far beyond mankind’s ability to manipulate.)

Jones Zemkophill on December 9, 2010 at 11:23 PM

Jones Zemkophill on December 9, 2010 at 11:23 PM

Yeah, but answer me this:
Which is heavier: A pound of lead, a pound of gold or a Pound Sterling?

LegendHasIt on December 10, 2010 at 12:36 AM

“Global Freezing”.
Now it’s “Climate Change” which doesn’t actually predict anything.

Unless I missed something, there was never any scientific theory that addressed the concept of “Global Freezing”, though I do recall Newsweek (or Time) devoting at least one article to a scenario akin to “Day After”.

“Global Warming”, of course, is the concept that the average temperature of the earth is rising (which has much support). “Climate Change” is not at odds with GW, and climates have always changed throughout recorded history and pre-history. What is disconcerting is the rapidly changing climate that is resulting (and probably will continue to occur) as the average temperature of the globe increases. The concern of many, including myself, is that the changes in climate (temperature, rainfall, ect.) will occur faster than many humans can adapt to those changes.

It is known that past civilizations (such as the Inca) collapsed as climate change occurred locally, so this concern is not without strong merit.

oakland on December 10, 2010 at 6:48 AM

On construction sites, new guys get sent to the super to ask for a board stretcher.

TexasDan on December 9, 2010 at 6:01 PM

In Army Aviation Units they get sent down to the Support Battalion for 300 feet of flightline and a 5 gallon can of rotor wash.

hawkdriver on December 10, 2010 at 6:55 AM

… He was not guilty on tax evasion, was guilty on one count of (roughly) “pissing off the judge and being made an example of.”

He’s a lot less guilty than the Treasury Secretary and Chollie Rangel.

misterpeasea on December 9, 2010 at 7:29 PM

Equal protection under the law! LMAO!

belad on December 10, 2010 at 7:49 AM

Again, another sign the Environmental Wackos have lost touch with reality.

I thought the recent legislation, brought up yesterday, that would demand that makers of Hybrid vehicles add the Varrooom!! sound that a healthy muscle car makes. Why? For the benefit of the visually impaired who can not hear a Hybrid approaching when crossing the street.

MSGTAS on December 10, 2010 at 9:06 AM

In Army Aviation Units they get sent down to the Support Battalion for 300 feet of flightline and a 5 gallon can of rotor wash.

hawkdriver on December 10, 2010 at 6:55 AM

In the Coast Guard it’s a couple hundred feet of shoreline, with a jetty on each end.

Squiggy on December 10, 2010 at 9:23 AM

Petition to ban Climate Change Summits.

scotash on December 10, 2010 at 11:36 AM

Sort of like Lucy and the football.

enginemike on December 10, 2010 at 1:46 PM

Comment pages: 1 2