Good news: Feds to ban caffeinated alcoholic drinks for some reason

posted at 6:12 pm on November 17, 2010 by Allahpundit

With full White House approval, of course. Because if college students can’t control their intake, why should any of us have the chance?

Drug czar Gil Kerlikowske said he welcomed a ruling by the Food and Drug Administration (FDA) that would effectively ban drinks like Four Loko and Joost, which have come under scrutiny for their alleged role in several cases of alcohol intoxication on college campuses.

“These products are designed, branded, and promoted to encourage binge drinking, and I commend the FDA for acting promptly to curb their sale,” Kerlikowske said in a statement. “These drinks are especially unhealthy and dangerous because they combine alcohol and caffeine — and present a further concern when used by young people.”

I’ve lost the plot on state/federal policy towards health and hazardous substances. For instance, it’s okay to ban sugary drinks — but only for consumers who are on food stamps. It’s not okay to ban cigarettes, but it’s okay to put photos of corpses on the packs to discourage people from buying them. For caffeine/alcohol blends, it’s okay to ban ‘em straightaway; no need to bother with a picture on the can of a kid ralphing on himself or whatever, which I guess makes them the beverage equivalent of Happy Meals. Is there any logic to that that I’m missing, or is it a simple case of Four Loko’s lobbyists not being half as good as R.J. Reynolds’s? And if you think that’s confusing, have a look at Jacob Sullum’s post at Reason. Apparently, the difference between banworthy and not banworthy caffeinated alcohol drinks is highly nuanced indeed.

Four Loko’s now trying to avert a ban by “voluntarily” removing the caffeine from the recipe, but Mary Katharine Ham has decided to rebel on their behalf. Here’s her “Four Loko for Freedom!” Facebook page, with a nationwide drink-up tentatively scheduled for Saturday night. What better way to enjoy a weekend than by knocking one back and heading over to the local airport to get your junk touched? Meanwhile, for your viewing pleasure, enjoy halfwit New York assemblyman Felix Ortiz helping to spread panic by pounding Four Lokos until, I kid you not, he throws up. Turns out that alcohol, consumed in sufficient quantities, can cause nausea. If his name sounds familiar, it’s because he’s the same imbecile whose health crusade led him recently to propose fining New York City chefs for cooking with … salt. Why not extend the ban to cooking with heat, I wonder? It is, after all, a fire hazard.

Update: Aren’t kids looking for a Four Loko buzz now just going to mix Jolt Cola and Jack, say? From what I hear about Loko’s taste, JC&J might actually be superior.


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and so it begins……….

dmann on November 17, 2010 at 6:15 PM

Why not extend the ban to cooking with heat, I wonder? It is, after all, a fire hazard.

AP, don’t be givin’ them government guys any fool ideas. Please.

NaCly dog on November 17, 2010 at 6:16 PM

Oh man, I was hoping this subject would come up here.

Never had a Four Loko. Don’t want one either.
But I love Cherry Coke + Cherry Schnapps (very gay).

Perhaps Ray LaHood and the TSA could arrange to have me groped upon entering and exiting a liquor shop and then monitor me at home to ensure that I dont dare combine the twin devils that are alcohol and caffeine.

Jeddite on November 17, 2010 at 6:17 PM

What better way to enjoy a weekend than by knocking one back and heading over to the local airport to get your junk touched?

I’m there!

John the Libertarian on November 17, 2010 at 6:18 PM

What better way to enjoy a weekend than by knocking one back and heading over to the local airport to get your junk touched?

Whatever it takes to get lucky. That’s my motto!

lorien1973 on November 17, 2010 at 6:19 PM

AP, that last is actually one of the snarkiest things you’ve ever posted.

Well played. =)

Scott H on November 17, 2010 at 6:19 PM

LOKO!!!!!

dmann on November 17, 2010 at 6:19 PM

Wow, the government is sticking it’s grubby little hands into every aspect of our lives.

I have one warning for them. Leave bacon alone or people will die.

fogw on November 17, 2010 at 6:19 PM

I guess hands off my body only counts when a fetus is involved

Daveyardbird on November 17, 2010 at 6:20 PM

I like Jägermeister and Red Bull occasionally. My cousin-in-law makes them once every blue moon.

OmahaConservative on November 17, 2010 at 6:20 PM

What better way to enjoy a weekend than by knocking one back and heading over to the local airport to get your junk touched?

lolol

cmsinaz on November 17, 2010 at 6:21 PM

So will Red Bull/Vokda and Jager bombs be banned next?

This guy sure be disappointed.

nazo311 on November 17, 2010 at 6:21 PM

if dude gets drunk off four of those, he’s one of the biggest light weights ever

Doctor Zhivago on November 17, 2010 at 6:22 PM

Why not ban shots or liquor in bars? Doesn’t that encourage binge drinking?

How ridiculous will this nanny state get?

nazo311 on November 17, 2010 at 6:23 PM

Why not extend the ban to cooking with heat, I wonder?

They are working on that.

PoliTech on November 17, 2010 at 6:23 PM

I like Jägermeister and Red Bull occasionally. My cousin-in-law makes them once every blue moon.

OmahaConservative on November 17, 2010 at 6:20 PM

JAGER BOMBS!!!

nazo311 on November 17, 2010 at 6:24 PM

Well sure ban this stuff. If the kids are totally bombed and AWAKE they might tune in Red Eye or watch a Hannity rerun or maybe try and drive to 7/11 for more Loko suds. Can’t have that. Better that they be bombed, asleep and choke to death on their vomit. Oh wait, sorry NaCly dog, I know that might give them an idea to go back to Prohibition.

On the positive side, Obama’s gang is just creating more conservatives. Go team Obama! Next they should ban heterosexual intercourse. That will really galvanize the youngsters for our team. Not that I am recommending or approving of ‘relations’ outside of marriage.

JimP on November 17, 2010 at 6:25 PM

So mixed drinks with caffeine is out? I wonder how long did prohibition last?

tarpon on November 17, 2010 at 6:25 PM

Even thinking about drinking something like that turns my stomach…so yeah, the gubmint should definitely ban it. :)

Bob's Kid on November 17, 2010 at 6:25 PM

What the hell am I going to serve at the annual Christmas party NOW? Damn.

HornetSting on November 17, 2010 at 6:26 PM

JAGER BOMBS!!!

nazo311 on November 17, 2010 at 6:24 PM

Jäger Bombs!!!
I’m fifty-five, I suppose I am too old for such nonsense. Big Sis probably wants me to drink near-beer.

OmahaConservative on November 17, 2010 at 6:27 PM

Monster + Vodka = Four loko with double the punch.

Does anyone really think this will do anything?

clement on November 17, 2010 at 6:28 PM

What better way to enjoy a weekend than by knocking one back and heading over to the local airport to get your junk touched?

I’m flashing back to Stripes here. Dude, I want to party with you sometime.

Wait, knocking one back?

WitchDoctor on November 17, 2010 at 6:28 PM

if dude gets drunk off four of those, he’s one of the biggest light weights ever

Doctor Zhivago on November 17, 2010 at 6:22 PM

They are like 12% amd have much more in them in your typical beer can. 4 cans is a bit more than you think.

clement on November 17, 2010 at 6:30 PM

So, I’m assuming restaurants serving Sambuca with coffee will be outlawed?

Oh heck, let’s just outlaw caffeine altogether. It will kill so many birds with that one stone it will be wonderful.

ButterflyDragon on November 17, 2010 at 6:30 PM

wait a minute the Feds are going to ban rum and cokes?

unseen on November 17, 2010 at 6:30 PM

and irish coffee?

unseen on November 17, 2010 at 6:31 PM

They are working on that.

PoliTech on November 17, 2010 at 6:23 PM

Soon all we will be able to eat are twigs. Thank you local hippie.

upinak on November 17, 2010 at 6:31 PM

They are like 12% amd have much more in them in your typical beer can. 4 cans is a bit more than you think.

clement on November 17, 2010 at 6:30 PM

I’ve been known to drink my occasional fifth of Jameson a day. At this point, a 12 of beer doesn’t faze me much

Doctor Zhivago on November 17, 2010 at 6:33 PM

Big Sis probably wants me to drink near-beer.

OmahaConservative on November 17, 2010 at 6:27 PM

twig bark mead.. not-even-partially-alcoholic.

upinak on November 17, 2010 at 6:33 PM

So now a coffee liqueur will be a federal offense? It’s so awesome we have no other more serious issues to deal with.

pedestrian on November 17, 2010 at 6:33 PM

OmahaConservative on November 17, 2010 at 6:27 PM

forget the jager-bomb, just ask for a irish car bomb

Doctor Zhivago on November 17, 2010 at 6:33 PM

PoliTech on November 17, 2010 at 6:23 PM

yeah…this has been around and is very disturbing as there is no actual evidence, just extrapolation (which I did this morning, a 2 flusher!) I truly loath liberals!

dmann on November 17, 2010 at 6:33 PM

I have one warning for them. Leave bacon alone or people will die.

fogw on November 17, 2010 at 6:19 PM

firs tthey came of rthe tobacco but I didn’t smoke so I said nothing, then they came for the salt but i didn’t use table salt so i said nothing, then they came for the toys in happy meals but i’m an adult so I said nothing…..when they came for the bacon i was a meat eating outcast and there was no one left to defend me. they put me in a re-education camp and now I eat my veggies and LIKE THEM!

unseen on November 17, 2010 at 6:34 PM

for their alleged role in several cases of alcohol intoxication on college campuses.

the horror

pedestrian on November 17, 2010 at 6:35 PM

How many of us still remember back around 15 years ago, when there were calls for convenience store sales of 40-oz Malt Liquor to be banned? They’re just picking on the young and truly foolish again.

BradSchwartze on November 17, 2010 at 6:37 PM

“These drinks are especially unhealthy and dangerous because they combine alcohol and caffeine — and present a further concern when used by young people.”

Throw in a little legalized weed and you got a party.

Electrongod on November 17, 2010 at 6:39 PM

Does anyone really think this will do anything?

clement on November 17, 2010 at 6:28 PM

Er, maybe they think people are too lazy or stupid to mix Jack and Coke?

John the Libertarian on November 17, 2010 at 6:40 PM

But will they ban Buzz Beer? Homer will be so bummed.

Irish coffees are they safe?

Fredlike on November 17, 2010 at 6:40 PM

Why not extend the ban to cooking with heat, I wonder? It is, after all, a fire hazard.

And God only knows what we’re doing to the environment!//

IrishEi on November 17, 2010 at 6:41 PM

Have they banned them nasty sweet Smirnoff malt-liqor lemonades, yet? Never did get a proper buzz from them…

OmahaConservative on November 17, 2010 at 6:42 PM

Now must ban beer and Nodoz!

crazedarmenian on November 17, 2010 at 6:44 PM

Jolt Cola and Jack? Are you serious with that crap? That sounds like an assumption a 70 year old Mormon might make.

More like Red Bull and flavored vodka.

swamp_yankee on November 17, 2010 at 6:45 PM

Everyone knows that if you want to get crunk and party all night you chug an energy drink before carrying on with the liquor.

This will change nothing.

carti3r on November 17, 2010 at 6:45 PM

Never did get a proper buzz from them…

OmahaConservative on November 17, 2010 at 6:42 PM

not supposed to, that stuff is like wine coolers.Its for when you want to drink but not get drunk. It’s main defense mechanism is to give you one of the worst hangovers that you will ever have

Doctor Zhivago on November 17, 2010 at 6:46 PM

they better not ban Irish coffee or Irish Hot chocolate. Them crazy Irish….

And so it’s bad to add vodka to Pepsi or Coke? Huh. There goes my plans for the weekend.

mjk on November 17, 2010 at 6:46 PM

they put me in a re-education camp and now I eat my veggies and LIKE THEM!

unseen on November 17, 2010 at 6:34 PM

That was you shuffling across the exercise yard in your eco-friendly PJ’s waiting for your next ration of brussel sprouts al-dente.

Pitiful …… what a waste of a perfectly good human.

oldfiveanddimer on November 17, 2010 at 6:47 PM

Am I missing something? Hasn’t Jack & Coke been popular for decades?

lizzie beth on November 17, 2010 at 6:47 PM

at least Absinthe is not banned to buy any more. Best buzz around when it comes to booze

Doctor Zhivago on November 17, 2010 at 6:47 PM

…..when they came for the bacon i was a meat eating outcast and there was no one left to defend me. they put me in a re-education camp and now I eat my veggies and started to get angry and I warned them you wouldn’t like it when I’m angry…then I kinda blacked out for awhile and now my clothes are all ripped up for some reason. Hey, where is everybody?

unseen on November 17, 2010 at 6:34 PM

TexasDan on November 17, 2010 at 6:51 PM

This, btw, is how to capture the youth vote.

Lower the drinking age to 18 and don’t ban pre-mixed drinks.

TexasDan on November 17, 2010 at 6:54 PM

I have no idea what these drinks are, but I blame the Joost.

Attila (Pillage Idiot) on November 17, 2010 at 6:55 PM

Strange how we get a Democratic President and the old saying

“They who can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety, deserve neither liberty nor safety.”

becomes passe’.

CWforFreedom on November 17, 2010 at 6:55 PM

Puts me in the mood for a good Spanish Coffee.

DaydreamBeliever on November 17, 2010 at 6:55 PM

FWIW, had a 14 year old kid the other night, completely out of control, to the extent that he was restrained on the gurney at the hospital. His brother claimed he had four of the “Locos” and nothing else.

Tox tests came back negative for narcotics, which shocked me given his behavior – thought for sure coke at least. But he did have a blood alcohol of .275.

He didn’t act like a drunk so maybe it’s the combo of the alcohol, caffine and suger that these things provide?

Then again, maybe it was just a drunken 14 year old hamming it up, too. ;)

RedNewEnglander on November 17, 2010 at 6:55 PM

at least Absinthe is not banned to buy any more. Best buzz around when it comes to booze

Doctor Zhivago on November 17, 2010 at 6:47 PM

Can you actually drink that stuff? I managed to get down a couple of swallows of it and thought I was going to hurl. Foul stuff that.

Oldnuke on November 17, 2010 at 6:56 PM

Doctor Zhivago on November 17, 2010 at 6:47 PM

I’ll forever associate Absinthe to Lana Turner and the movie Madame X, which I watched on b&W tv with my mom when I was a kid in the sixties. She was a slave to it, and the evil Broderick Crawford character.

OmahaConservative on November 17, 2010 at 6:59 PM

Well if I am ever going to turn all my friends here at UW Madison into conservatives, bringing up shit like this is the way to do it.

Nelsen on November 17, 2010 at 7:00 PM

Ahem, Red Bull mixed with 151. Aw fuck it, ban everything.

Alden Pyle on November 17, 2010 at 7:03 PM

Aren’t kids looking for a Four Loko buzz now just going to mix Jolt Cola and Jack

First they came after the Loko, and Joost. Next, they’ll come after the jolt, and jack. It will never end under the liberal regime.

I’m not advocating the drink, and have never had one, but there is never an end. Once someone has something, the government will shut it down.

capejasmine on November 17, 2010 at 7:04 PM

Wait!
You can still get Jolt?
mmmmmmm Rum and Jolt!

Rufuss_Va on November 17, 2010 at 7:07 PM

Can you actually drink that stuff? I managed to get down a couple of swallows of it and thought I was going to hurl. Foul stuff that.

Oldnuke on November 17, 2010 at 6:56 PM

Yeah, usually get a couple of bottles every other month. Stuff jacks you up so bad. Main problem is that it’s freaking expensive to import the good stuff (shipping costs about the same price as the actual absinthe).

Foul? Sounds like someone screwed up the mixture.

I’ll forever associate Absinthe to Lana Turner and the movie Madame X, which I watched on b&W tv with my mom when I was a kid in the sixties. She was a slave to it, and the evil Broderick Crawford character.

OmahaConservative on November 17, 2010 at 6:59 PM

one of the most villianized drinks of all-time which is sad as it’s not what history has told us that it is

Doctor Zhivago on November 17, 2010 at 7:07 PM

Let’s summarize: If you are over 18, chances are 66% that you voted for Obama.

And in return, you got: an economy with almost no entry-level jobs; a $1500 fine for not having health insurance; higher gas prices; The Surge, Afghan-style involving buddies your age; and a mountain of National Debt.

And now, he’s taking your Energy Drinks?

VastRightWingConspirator on November 17, 2010 at 7:10 PM

A little espresso with a shot of sambucca is good for the body and good for the soul. I can live without the other combinations listed above, but if they float anyone’s boat, fine with me. Leave it to the kids to screw up a good thing…

joejm65 on November 17, 2010 at 7:11 PM

if dude gets drunk off four of those, he’s one of the biggest light weights ever

Doctor Zhivago on November 17, 2010 at 6:22 PM

12% alcohol and 24 ounces per can, I think. Four of these is quite a bit.

I think this is a bit of a reach by the FDA, but I have no issue with state governments doing the exact same thing under their 21st Amendment powers. A state is perfectly within its explicitly enumerated constitutional authority to ban any and all alcoholic beverage products it wants to. Even to impose statewide prohibition if it were so inclined.

acasilaco on November 17, 2010 at 7:13 PM

No more ‘Happy Meal’s’ in a can…

Wade on November 17, 2010 at 7:13 PM

joejm65 on November 17, 2010 at 7:11 PM

Not the kids. The fcuking legislators…

OmahaConservative on November 17, 2010 at 7:15 PM

Am I missing something? Hasn’t Jack & Coke been popular for decades?

lizzie beth on November 17, 2010 at 6:47 PM

Very popular, but today’s caffeine drinks go way beyond what’s inside Coca-Cola. Red Bull is so caffeinated that I cannot drink it, it makes my heart race. That is why people mix it with Jaegermeister. Supposedly, when your body gets hyped up with high doses of caffeine, your body will absorb higher amounts of alcohol, and faster. That’s what a bartender once explained to me. An alcohol speedball, it sounds like. No thanks.

joejm65 on November 17, 2010 at 7:16 PM

BO was unavailable for a comment. He was in the rose garden having a cigarette.

Wade on November 17, 2010 at 7:16 PM

That’s what a bartender once explained to me. joejm65 on November 17, 2010 at 7:16 PM

Good place to get your information.

Wade on November 17, 2010 at 7:18 PM

Stupid. People are just going to go back to chasing shots of vodka with red bull. I’m so sick of these tyrants.

jawkneemusic on November 17, 2010 at 7:18 PM

Everything not expressively permitted is banned, effective immediately.

glockomatic on November 17, 2010 at 7:19 PM

Jaggerbombs – Jaggermeister and Red Bull
Vodka Red Bull – Especially with cheap stuff like Georgi
Irish Coffee

Don’t expect it to stop because suddenly you’ve banned the caffeine alcohol drinks. This is another scare like the 21 to drink that won’t improve conditions. Kids (and some legal adults prohibited from drinking) will now be making their own concoctions. That means they could well have more alcohol then before.

This is stupid. Drinking bans don’t work. We’re not safer because kids have to be 21 to drink. The college scene continues to thrive with problems, maybe the real solution is 21/23 to drink, 18 with a high school diploma.

amazingmets on November 17, 2010 at 7:22 PM

So are Rum and Coke banned as well? Red Bull and Vodka?

buckichick1 on November 17, 2010 at 7:23 PM

Everything not expressively permitted is banned, effective immediately.

glockomatic on November 17, 2010 at 7:19 PM

With respect to alcoholic beverages, that actually is the law — at least in some states — since the 1930s.

acasilaco on November 17, 2010 at 7:23 PM

Good place to get your information.

Wade on November 17, 2010 at 7:18 PM

Yep, it is when you’re dealing with alcohol-related issues. When dozens of customers tell a bartender ‘yes, mix Red Bull with Jaegermeister, it gets me more f*cked up, and faster!’, I’ll take their word on it.

joejm65 on November 17, 2010 at 7:24 PM

I’m fifty-five, I suppose I am too old for such nonsense. Big Sis probably wants me to drink near-beer.

OmahaConservative on November 17, 2010 at 6:27 PM

We’re taking our first steps towards synth-ohol.

BobMbx on November 17, 2010 at 7:29 PM

Yes, because these kids would never dream of purchasing the ingredients ​separately and mix it themselves.

Cindy Munford on November 17, 2010 at 7:40 PM

With full White House approval, of course. Because if college students can’t control their intake, why should any of us have the chance?

Hey! College kids helped to propel Obutthead into the White House. They must be elated. Isn’t this what they voted for? Government intervention, and control? Whoo Hooooo Hope and Change! Yeah!!!

*sigh*

capejasmine on November 17, 2010 at 7:40 PM

Thank goodness they’ve solved all the other problems and can now focus on the energy drink epidemic.

rogerb on November 17, 2010 at 7:43 PM

Four Loko theme song and video:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J6WP624hvPY&feature=fvwk

gotta laugh . . .

phillypolitics on November 17, 2010 at 7:54 PM

You can get Red Bull and Vodka at practically any bar in this country. This is ridiculous.

BakerAllie on November 17, 2010 at 8:01 PM

I’ve lost the plot on state/federal policy towards health and hazardous substances. For instance, it’s okay to ban sugary drinks — but only for consumers who are on food stamps. It’s not okay to ban cigarettes, but it’s okay to put photos of corpses on the packs to discourage people from buying them. For caffeine/alcohol blends, it’s okay to ban ‘em straightaway; no need to bother with a picture on the can of a kid ralphing on himself or whatever, which I guess makes them the beverage equivalent of Happy Meals. Is there any logic to that that I’m missing, or is it a simple case of Four Loko’s lobbyists not being half as good as R.J. Reynolds’s? And if you think that’s confusing, have a look at Jacob Sullum’s post at Reason. Apparently, the difference between banworthy and not banworthy caffeinated alcohol drinks is highly nuanced indeed.

Allow me to simplify:

You’re too stupid to choose your own food and drinks. The elites know best. We know they’re elite because they’re in the government. You don’t need to know the reasoning, just know that it’s for your own good.

I think that covers everything.

tom on November 17, 2010 at 8:08 PM

Hooray, every college campus will now be alcohol-free! Or perhaps they’ll just go back to trashcans full of Everclear and Hawaiian Punch. (Presumably it includes red bull too, now.)

Tanya on November 17, 2010 at 8:22 PM

Waking up from caffeinated alcoholic beverage black out.
=
Obama voter realizing their mistake.

regal on November 17, 2010 at 9:05 PM

Well that should make them just popular enough to start making their own.

jeanie on November 17, 2010 at 9:15 PM

They can have my Captain and Coke when they pry it from my cold, dead hand!

ZK on November 17, 2010 at 9:35 PM

Mary Katharine Ham has … a nationwide drink-up tentatively scheduled for Saturday night.

Why wait until Saturday.

I am ready now.

slp on November 17, 2010 at 9:40 PM

Will the commies in this administration let me continue to drink white Russians?

Over50 on November 17, 2010 at 9:47 PM

Gee, I just can’t understand why a self respecting con or tea partier would not want to ride shot gun for Jerry “the King of Corruption” Lewis? go figure….

james23 on November 17, 2010 at 9:48 PM

How am I supposed to stay awake whilst I drink myself into a stupor?!?!

Neo-con Artist on November 17, 2010 at 10:07 PM

Nothing worse than a wide-awake drunk.

I suppose the best deterrent, though, is that instead of waking up in a pool of your own vomit – you actually get to experience the vomit-pool creation while concious! woo!

Reaps on November 17, 2010 at 10:59 PM

phillypolitics on November 17, 2010 at 7:54 PM

Sums things up pretty well.

Whilst government regulation is something people are anti- at the moment, especially with Dems in power, one has to wonder just what the populace has to do to change the direction that culture, especially youth culture, is heading in.

Coming from someone who isn’t even out of his 20s himself, well, ‘damn’.

Reaps on November 17, 2010 at 11:02 PM

And yet it will still be legal to buy an Irish Coffee or Captain & Coke in any bar in the United States.

RhymesWithRight on November 17, 2010 at 11:07 PM

This is so stupid, I want them all fired when President Palin comes to town.

gdonovan on November 18, 2010 at 5:55 AM

So are Rum & Coke and Jack & Coke now banned? Will bartenders be dragged to jail for serving up these and other cocktails for having “dangerous additives?”

Beo on November 18, 2010 at 9:57 AM

First they came for the rum and cokes, but I didn’t care. I always disliked that drink. Then they came for… hmm, what’s another drink with caffeine?

Kevin M on November 18, 2010 at 12:27 PM

White Russian!

Kevin M on November 18, 2010 at 12:27 PM

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