Obamateurism of the Day

How to Correct Bad Behavior in Leftist Presidents.

A poorly trained President can embarrass its Constituents and offend other peoples – and at times even make them feel threatened. To ensure a well behaved President, enroll him or her in an electorate obedience class prior to nomination. If that is not possible and you have a bad President in office, here are some pointers on how to handle common leftist presidential problems.

Instructions:

Stop the Begging. This only encourages further bad behavior. Beseeching your President to stop the incessant spending, constitution tearing and the rolling in the stench of his arrogance is ineffective at best. It really is a waste of time. His bad behavior stems from his natural leftist instinct, improper socialization, boredom with continually voting present and his insatiable desire for your attention. To stop it, you must take the upper hand. On a regular schedule, subject your President to large angry crowds of his most honest and forthright Constituents. Your errant President must witness your disapproval and defiance. Loud noise making and threatening recrimination is also very helpful. “Bad President! – Bad! – Bad!”

Don’t Tolerate Car Chasing: In most instances, a leftist President is protecting or expanding its territory by doing this. Sometimes, it can indicate an extreme dislike of especially large cars or of the car creators themselves. Favorite targets seem to be General Motors and Chrysler vehicles. If possible, keep the President confined to a secure location and don’t allow Automobile executives anywhere near the President. When you find that your leftist President is taking excessive vacations away from the secure location, try to keep him on a tight leash. Fox News can help you with this. He will be especially vulnerable in golfing areas where there are many of the small golf type vehicles present. When in these areas, be prepared to yank firmly on the leash as soon as you see him grab his balls and putter. Having said that, it is important to extend praise and treats to a leftist President when he resists chasing cars. Also, allowing some vacation time is a humane way of ridding your President of pent-up energy.

Stop Excessive Chewing. Even though they belittle others with the same condition, some leftist presidents have nicotine addictions. To counter its effects, they may attempt to chew their way out of their confining state. For the most part, leftist Presidents are weak-willed mollycoddles. Consequently, they shun the concept of direct substantive action in dealing with their problems. Chewing nicotine gum is a natural solution for them… much like voting present all the time. The problem arises then they do their chewing at important public gatherings, thereby exposing their complete lack of etiquette and greatly embarrassing their Constituents. If you find that your president is engaging in public chewing, a chew substitute must be found. In an excessively vacationing president, chewing opportunities abound, though condoning this method of upkeep can be highly expensive… especially if the leftist first lady is involved. The author suggests a much cheaper solution… Joe Biden’s hand. It’s readily available, provides chewing satisfaction for the President and the pain experienced to the leftist Vice President would be highly gratifying to the aforementioned large angry crowds of honest and forthright Constituents.

Does your President Dig through the Trash? Sometimes leftist presidents will access other people’s garbage. Their natural instinct is to rummage through its contents and when an especially stinky piece of work is found, they find exuberance by rolling in its vulgarity in order to make it part of themselves. The weak yet controlling nature of leftist presidents makes them very susceptible to the following:

Rules for Radicals – Alinsky
The Communist Manifesto – Marx / Engles
Hugo Chavez – Venezuelan dictator
Fidel Castro – Cuban dictator

These are but a few examples, but there are many others. If allowed unfettered access, the results can be catastrophic and a strong odor will result. In severe cases, a swift neutering action by the electorate may be the only remedy.

Making Holes in the Lawn. Leftist Presidents are thought to be poor golfers and tend to excavate deep swaths when playing with others in the turf. It is not however due to any poor ability but is an inherent instinct to destroy the area for those that follow. This is a difficult problem to correct. Sometimes it is better just to admonish the behavior and take away the clubs. Alternatively, you can also allow a little golf vehicle chasing.

Prevent or Stop Vicious Attacks. Leftist Presidents don’t ever do the actual attacking, they always have someone do this for them. When they feel threatened of feel abused they release their organizer friends to threaten, intimidate and at times perform physical violence. Sometimes, if the lefty President is in perpetual heat, as we experienced in the ‘90’s, they can be especially difficult to control, but are generally more docile and pathetic in their demeanor. As an interim solution, try to provide your lefty President with lots of supporting lefty admirers as a distraction until the next electoral cycle comes due.

Excessive Barking. You may find that your lefty president sometimes speaks to you in a curt, angry and superior tone. All leftists do this from time to time, and they will whine if you don’t tolerate it sometimes. Territorial aggression, lack of exercise and frustration with all those considered inferior are the usual culprits. However, if your President becomes excessively arrogant and abusive, then it’s time for some corrective action. If you are unable to enlist the mainstream press in providing a good verbal lashing, you may have to resort to some painful humiliation by showing him his low poll numbers. If all else fails, and you know he’s getting plenty of exercise, then an electoral neutering may be the only permanent solution.

Bootleghooch on September 8, 2010 at 2:20 PM