Good news: Alvin Greene publishes manifesto for change

posted at 3:07 pm on August 30, 2010 by Allahpundit

The bad news: He published it in a British paper. Close enough?

I think this is the first time I’ve seen a politician use the words “I’m unemployed” in an op-ed.

I’m unemployed, and, if elected, I can teach the Harvard rich kids in the White House and the senate a thing or two. I will vote for any law and propose any measure to keep jobs in my state of South Carolina. I will vote for huge tariffs, and, if necessary, vote to ban imports of foreign goods. Millionaire egghead politicians in the pocket of big business talk about “free trade” – and let all of your jobs get shipped overseas.

No more free trade. Your job is not going to Indonesia.

I will stop house foreclosures. Big banks got their bailout. Their debt was forgiven – and you paid for it. Their executives got million-dollar bonuses.

Did they forgive your debt? Did you get a bonus?…

I will stop debt collectors from calling you. I will make it illegal for a company to sell a debt you have for purposes of collection. You and your family have dignity: you are not cattle to be sold back and forth in the debt marketplace. You know how horrible it is to have those vampires calling you, again and again and again.

He also promises to eliminate wasteful military spending and apply the savings towards making college educations and health care “free,” which … makes him a completely mainstream Democrat, actually. Assuming he doesn’t end up in prison on that obscenity rap, he’ll have some free time after the election and will surely be looking to capitalize on his newfound fame with a TV gig. So I’m thinking: Since there’s already a politically themed reality show in the works starring one of the most obnoxious tools on the American media landscape, why not cast “America’s candidate” as his Democratic opponent? An Alvin Greene/Levi Johnston debate would be one of the greatest things on television ever, and since Greene is likable to precisely the same extent that Levi’s unlikable, there’d be a stark good guy/bad guy dramatic contrast for viewers to enjoy. The only problem: Doesn’t that mean Johnston would be running … as a Republican? Gulp.


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The bad news: He published it in a British paper. Close enough?

Well, it’s sorta’ like English.

Then again, he sorta’ speaks English.

Ideal match.

SteveMG on August 30, 2010 at 3:12 PM

I think this is the first time I’ve seen a politician use the words “I’m unemployed” in an op-ed.

A lot more will be using that phrase after November 2.

Doughboy on August 30, 2010 at 3:13 PM

The gift that keeps on giving.

Smooth Rooster on August 30, 2010 at 3:13 PM

I am fairly certain Alvin Greene didn’t write that op-ed himself.

dczombie on August 30, 2010 at 3:14 PM

Reads like the Democrat Platform.

mankai on August 30, 2010 at 3:14 PM

I dunno. Nader v Obama would be pretty hard to beat.

Christien on August 30, 2010 at 3:16 PM

I will vote for huge tariffs, and, if necessary, vote to ban imports of foreign goods.

At least he is a student of history………..

Vashta.Nerada on August 30, 2010 at 3:16 PM

Alvin Greene/Levi Johnston debate would be one of the greatest things on television ever,

You’ve forgotten me already? ` BasilMarceaux.com

Rocks on August 30, 2010 at 3:17 PM

“I have a dream…..”

portlandon on August 30, 2010 at 3:17 PM

If Alvin Greene wrote that, I’ll kiss a pig on the lips…lipstick or no lipstick.

SouthernGent on August 30, 2010 at 3:18 PM

I will vote for huge tariffs, and, if necessary, vote to ban imports of foreign goods.

What could go wrong? Oh, right.

I will make it illegal for a company to sell a debt you have for purposes of collection. You and your family have dignity: you are not cattle to be sold back and forth in the debt marketplace. You know how horrible it is to have those vampires calling you, again and again and again.

Then don’t borrow money from “vampires”.

amerpundit on August 30, 2010 at 3:18 PM

“I have a dream…..”

portlandon on August 30, 2010 at 3:17 PM

“that I was employeed!”

upinak on August 30, 2010 at 3:18 PM

I will stop house foreclosures. Big banks got their bailout. Their debt was forgiven – and you paid for it. Their executives got million-dollar bonuses.
Did they forgive your debt? Did you get a bonus?…
I will stop debt collectors from calling you. I will make it illegal for a company to sell a debt you have for purposes of collection. You and your family have dignity: you are not cattle to be sold back and forth in the debt marketplace. You know how horrible it is to have those vampires calling you, again and again and again.

So, really all that separates him from Barry is two years, a speechwriter, and some styrofoam Greek columns.

Vashta.Nerada on August 30, 2010 at 3:19 PM

I will vote for huge tariffs, and, if necessary, vote to ban imports of foreign goods.

Bring back Smoot-Hawley!

Rocks on August 30, 2010 at 3:19 PM

No more free trade. Your job is not going to Indonesia.

He is bigoted toward Indonesians. Other than that he’s a perfect liberal.

Still, I like him more than most politicians. There is something refreshing about so much naivete, especially in today’s impertinence from Wash., D.C., from all parties.

Also, he makes Levi look stupid, which is swell.

Schadenfreude on August 30, 2010 at 3:20 PM

You’re so far over your head you couldn’t even see the surface, Greene-Beene.

Dark-Star on August 30, 2010 at 3:20 PM

in Britain, where I was stationed as an intelligence analyst for the air force

Really?

This guy is either truly delusional or else going in deep cover by pretending to be batsh!t crazy.

rbj on August 30, 2010 at 3:20 PM

The University of South Carolina, where I got my degree in political science

Half the members of the US senate work for BP. The other half work for Halliburton. Who works for you?

And this guy is dumber than any other Democrat because…?

I’ll save your house. I’ll save your job

Well, my house is about paid for but tell you what? Fill up my tank and you have yourself a deal!

Forget that Christie porn. We need more Alvin porn!

MNHawk on August 30, 2010 at 3:21 PM

He sure does seem like a guy who would have a manifesto.

Rbastid on August 30, 2010 at 3:22 PM

Really?

This guy is either truly delusional or else going in deep cover by pretending to be batsh!t crazy.

rbj on August 30, 2010 at 3:20 PM

Yeah, I’m calling bull on that. Intelligence analyst for the U.S. Air Force? Really? This guy isn’t qualified to clean the toilets for the Air Force.

amerpundit on August 30, 2010 at 3:23 PM

Oh my!

gophergirl on August 30, 2010 at 3:23 PM

I would like to see what the MSM has to say about race when the blacks turn out in droves to vote for this guy. He will get Obama numbers among blacks.

Rocks on August 30, 2010 at 3:24 PM

I will protect children from violins on television!

Mr. Bingley on August 30, 2010 at 3:24 PM

Geeeeeeeeeze! Mr. Green is just like Obama. Not wanting to run a country, but to ruin it. Not wanting better for their country, but to get their revenge on their country. Juuuuuuuuuust perfect! *sigh*

capejasmine on August 30, 2010 at 3:25 PM

O/T Where the heck is Mark Steyn? Did he get deported and I didn’t hear about it?

Cindy Munford on August 30, 2010 at 3:25 PM

I think Neil Kinnock wrote this

joepub on August 30, 2010 at 3:25 PM

I will vote for huge tariffs, and, if necessary, vote to ban imports of foreign goods.

alvin, look around your living room, dude. If you find something that says “Made in China” or “Made in Taiwan”….then take a baseball bat to it and just keep all the stuff that says “Made in USA”…. After that, when all you have left is a set of Underoos and some Hot Pockets, then get back with us, mmmkay buddy.

ted c on August 30, 2010 at 3:25 PM

Speaking of delusional…dr. that is.

Schadenfreude on August 30, 2010 at 3:26 PM

He and Franken can start some kind of Specialty Caucus centered around Mental Health.

JohnBissell on August 30, 2010 at 3:26 PM

Are there any records we could look up to see if he was ever employed in any capacity by the USAF? I have a very hard time believing they would employ this doofus as an “intelligence analyst”. What could he analyze – ghettobabble from intercepted street gang communications?

Dark-Star on August 30, 2010 at 3:27 PM

in Britain, where I was stationed as an intelligence analyst for the air force

He just begs to be loved.

Schadenfreude on August 30, 2010 at 3:27 PM

This coming election day, let’s teach at least one of those senate millionaires what it’s like to be unemployed.

.
.
You know he might be onto something.

LincolntheHun on August 30, 2010 at 3:27 PM

Ted kaczynski had a manifesto….

ted c on August 30, 2010 at 3:27 PM

Wow! I can understand how someone this stupid is unemployed.

Tommy_G on August 30, 2010 at 3:28 PM

Dark-Star on August 30, 2010 at 3:27 PM

.
What your job title is and what you actualy do in the military are often quite different, his job title could have been “Intell Analyast”, but his job was to empty trash cans.

LincolntheHun on August 30, 2010 at 3:29 PM

in Britain, where I was stationed as an intelligence analyst for the air force….

Schadenfreude on August 30, 2010 at 3:27 PM

is he taking a page from the John Kerry playbook on restoring our relations with Europeans or something by speaking British to the Brits, or French to the French? John Kerry tried that and now all that he has to show for it is Scott Brown sitting next to him and a chick magnet boat to compensate for some other deficiency he has….

jus sayin.

ted c on August 30, 2010 at 3:30 PM

What your job title is and what you actualy do in the military are often quite different, his job title could have been “Intell Analyast”, but his job was to empty trash cans.

LincolntheHun on August 30, 2010 at 3:29 PM

he may have been a man who stared at goats?

ted c on August 30, 2010 at 3:30 PM

Yeah, I’m calling bull on that. Intelligence analyst for the U.S. Air Force? Really? This guy isn’t qualified to clean the toilets for the Air Force.

Well doesn’t the U.S. Air Force have certain criteria for enlistees to meet? They must have found him qualified for something, enough to enlist him anyway.

scalleywag on August 30, 2010 at 3:31 PM

O/T Where the heck is Mark Steyn? Did he get deported and I didn’t hear about it?

Cindy Munford on August 30, 2010 at 3:25 PM

He’s subbing for Rush Wed. and Thurs.

zmdavid on August 30, 2010 at 3:31 PM

I will protect children from violins on television!
Mr. Bingley on August 30, 2010 at 3:24 PM

You forgot the sax … they need protection from the sax, too.

ya2daup on August 30, 2010 at 3:31 PM

“that I was employeed!”

upinak on August 30, 2010 at 3:18 PM

Get a job!…LOL.

This economy is so bad you couldn’t work for free.

portlandon on August 30, 2010 at 3:31 PM

zmdavid on August 30, 2010 at 3:31 PM

Thanks!!

Cindy Munford on August 30, 2010 at 3:32 PM

You know how horrible it is to have those vampires calling you, again and again and again.

I haven’t experienced this. Probably because I work during the day when vampires are cooped up inside…making debt collection phone calls.

NickelAndDime on August 30, 2010 at 3:33 PM

What your job title is and what you actualy do in the military are often quite different, his job title could have been “Intell Analyast”, but his job was to empty trash cans.

LincolntheHun on August 30, 2010 at 3:29 PM

Dang. It’s very often that way in the private sector, but I was hoping the military would be a little more accurate in telling who did what. (except when they can’t for security reasons)

Still, is there anywhere the public can check his claims, or is that kind of information restricted?

Dark-Star on August 30, 2010 at 3:33 PM

… in Britain, where I was stationed as an intelligence analyst for the air force….
Schadenfreude on August 30, 2010 at 3:27 PM

But where did you spend Christmas? Cambodia?
— J. F. Kerry

ya2daup on August 30, 2010 at 3:33 PM

“I can teach the Harvard rich kids in the White House and the senate a thing or two.”

In all fairness, that’s true almost anyone.

zmdavid on August 30, 2010 at 3:33 PM

Al should bottle and sell Awesome Sauce.

Christien on August 30, 2010 at 3:33 PM

Per Rasmussen, the Greene manifesto has the support of a whopping 19% of the voters in South Carolina, or less than a third of those supporting Jim DeMint (63%).

With THIS out on the airwaves, DeMint won’t have to run his own ads. Wonder if he’ll share his “war chest” with other GOP Senate candidates in closer races…

Steve Z on August 30, 2010 at 3:34 PM

I will protect children from violins on television!
Mr. Bingley on August 30, 2010 at 3:24 PM

.
Sir! I must protest, sure shut down the importation of low grade Chinese hamsters, crush the banking industry until every state issues its own specie again, flog debt collectors in the streets, but to go to your lengths of protecting children from violins on TV is just to much!
Good day to you! Harrumph, and twirl of moustache!

LincolntheHun on August 30, 2010 at 3:34 PM

I will protect children from violins on television!
Mr. Bingley on August 30, 2010 at 3:24 PM

You forgot the sax … they need protection from the sax, too.

ya2daup on August 30, 2010 at 3:31 PM

This is starting to sound like a Captain Underpants book. |-} Now wouldn’t that make for a hilarious photoshop…

Dark-Star on August 30, 2010 at 3:35 PM

Finally, somebody who is dumber than Obama.

J_Crater on August 30, 2010 at 3:35 PM

An Alvin Greene/Levi Johnston debate would be one of the greatest things on television ever

It would be just like the Leno/Tonight Show man on the street segments.

MississippiMom on August 30, 2010 at 3:36 PM

You forgot the sax … they need protection from the sax, too.
ya2daup on August 30, 2010 at 3:31 PM

.
My 3:34 post must apply to you as well.

LincolntheHun on August 30, 2010 at 3:36 PM

Wow, he surely is a Democrat. No doubt about that. His sophomoric grasp of economic realities, causes and effects is pretty liberal.

In other words, poorly informed. (Or misinformed, if the liberal codependent.)

ButterflyDragon on August 30, 2010 at 3:37 PM

Dark-Star on August 30, 2010 at 3:33 PM

.
Possible, but difficult. The DD 214 that most candidates release only gives a very general overview of service. Every NCO (which is what Green was, I believe) gets a report card of some type, the Army calls it an NCOER (Non-commissioned Officer Evaluation Report). The NCOER will list duties performed, subordinates managed, and so on. So unless Greene voluntarily releases his entire Military file, or provides copies of his NOCERs, one will never know what he actually did and how well.

LincolntheHun on August 30, 2010 at 3:42 PM

He’s like the movie, The Room, you can’t help but admire such naive badness even if he is a demofart.

Dhuka on August 30, 2010 at 3:42 PM

He completely missed the boat on raising the minimum wage. Wouldn’t a minimum wage of say, $500 an hour, propel poor families into affluence instantly? It’d be sheer genius!

Oh wait. I hope nobody at the DNC reads this blog.

Cicero43 on August 30, 2010 at 3:44 PM

He and Franken can start some kind of Specialty Caucus centered around Mental Health.

JohnBissell on August 30, 2010 at 3:26 PM

They already have one, it’s called the Democratic party… and it’s running the country right now. Eeek.

bitsy on August 30, 2010 at 3:44 PM

So unless Greene voluntarily releases his entire Military file, or provides copies of his NOCERs, one will never know what he actually did and how well.

LincolntheHun on August 30, 2010 at 3:42 PM

I was afraid that would be the case. I’d also bet that he’ll be as squirrely about his records as Obama. Anyhow, thanks for the informative posts!

Dark-Star on August 30, 2010 at 3:47 PM

Nooooooo! Goooooooooooooooo!

Heralder on August 30, 2010 at 3:50 PM

LincolntheHun on August 30, 2010 at 3:34 PM

So you’re gigging me because you didn’t get a harrumph outta that guy? You shall answer for your impertinence, sir or madam; you shall answer! Nerf-balls … on the Weehawken Dueling Grounds … dawn … whenever. My second will call upon you … whenever.

ya2daup on August 30, 2010 at 3:53 PM

Are there any records we could look up to see if he was ever employed in any capacity by the USAF? I have a very hard time believing they would employ this doofus as an “intelligence analyst”. What could he analyze – ghettobabble from intercepted street gang communications?

Dark-Star on August 30, 2010 at 3:27 PM

Perhaps he interrogated spuds with a potato peeler.

Aviator on August 30, 2010 at 3:55 PM

Poor guy…if he was a Republican, the MSM would have already put him on the front page as the face of the GOP.

As a Democrat, he’s lonely and ignored.

Asher on August 30, 2010 at 3:55 PM

I will vote for any law and propose any measure to keep jobs in my state of South Carolina.

Then I ask you, Albin Gree, would you support a statute mandating that any time an employer in South Carolina moves a job to another location out of state, a baby must be thrown into a hole lined with punji sticks?

Your move, Bubba.

fusionaddict on August 30, 2010 at 3:57 PM

Wow, someone knows what a DD-214 is!

Hint, it’s not an old destroyer.

Dhuka on August 30, 2010 at 3:59 PM

Wow, someone knows what a DD-214 is!

Hint, it’s not an old destroyer.

Dhuka on August 30, 2010 at 3:59 PM

Hey, don’t be dissing the Clemson-class 4 stackers! We (and, more importantly, the Brits!) were sure glad we had them in storage, even if they “rolled on a wet lawn” and had the turning radius of a battleship. Props to the Tracy!

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/USS_Tracy_%28DD-214%29

ebrown2 on August 30, 2010 at 4:08 PM

You know how horrible it is to have those vampires calling you, again and again and again.

So he blows 10 grand on a application fee to run in a certain death election.

Sounds like a Democrat.

pedestrian on August 30, 2010 at 4:09 PM

I’m unemployed, and, if elected, I can teach the Harvard rich kids in the White House and the senate a thing or two. I will vote for any law and propose any measure to keep jobs in my state of South Carolina. I will vote for huge tariffs, and, if necessary, vote to ban imports of foreign goods. Millionaire egghead politicians in the pocket of big business talk about “free trade” – and let all of your jobs get shipped overseas.

No more free trade. Your job is not going to Indonesia.

Pat Buchanan…. is that you?

UltimateBob on August 30, 2010 at 4:12 PM

Until recently, in Britain, where I was stationed as an intelligence analyst for the air force….

As an honourably-discharged army veteran who was stationed in Korea, I know how much money is wasted

The man has been everywhere – he truly is a Forrest Gump for the new millennium.

RDuke on August 30, 2010 at 4:14 PM

I am fairly certain Alvin Greene didn’t write that op-ed himself.

dczombie on August 30, 2010 at 3:14 PM

Too lucid?

Dr.Cwac.Cwac on August 30, 2010 at 4:22 PM

He uses “I” an awful lot. “I, I, I.”
.
Don’t we already have a guy hanging around government that is known for his use of “I” unless he’s saying “blame Bush?”
.
No, I’m not talking about Schumer, although I could be. Think 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue.

ExpressoBold on August 30, 2010 at 4:31 PM

I will stop debt collectors from calling you. I will make it illegal for a company to sell a debt you have for purposes of collection. You and your family have dignity: you are not cattle to be sold back and forth in the debt marketplace.

A.G. seems to know an awful lot about the debt collection process.

pain train on August 30, 2010 at 4:33 PM

“I will vote for huge tariffs, and, if necessary, vote to ban imports of foreign goods. “

Smoot/Hawley 2012

Jeff2161 on August 30, 2010 at 4:33 PM

Damn … if history serves me correct – it was states being taken over by guys like Greene that ended the Articles of Confederation. LOL

HondaV65 on August 30, 2010 at 4:38 PM

Alvin and Levi? Time to bust out the popcorn. Hell, pizza and beer for this one!

Ed Snyder on August 30, 2010 at 5:07 PM

Alvin is Obama without the teleprompter.

Adjoran on August 30, 2010 at 5:14 PM

Big banks got their bailout. Their debt was forgiven – and you paid for it. Their executives got million-dollar bonuses.

Best analysis of TARP that I’ve heard from anybody, right or left. Ah, if only it wasn’t for, er, uh, um, everything else in his manifesto. Including this gem:

The army can’t locate 56 planes and 32 tanks – how do you lose a plane? Rumour has it, the Pentagon started off as the Hexagon, but one day one of the sides went missing.

Admit it – he’s a lot more fun than any other Dem I’ve heard from.

(Yeah, I’m still pi$$ed at Cornyn and Hutchison about TARP, and Cantor’s statement on earmarks tells me the GOP ain’t leaned nothin’. Faaaauuugh!! In spite of Republican sweep, I’m still going to have to hold my nose to vote, d__n them.)

ss396 on August 30, 2010 at 5:23 PM

his 15 minutes are up………..

but then again so was Levi whatshisface in Alaska…

RealMc on August 30, 2010 at 5:23 PM

“I’m running for Senate… um… I’m running for Senate. Change.”

orfannkyl on August 30, 2010 at 5:24 PM

Since there’s already a politically themed reality show in the works starring one of the most obnoxious tools on the American media landscape

Am I the only one who expected Olbermann?

Greene could take over for Olbermann… I might watch just to see the spectacle.

gekkobear on August 30, 2010 at 6:25 PM

The only problem: Doesn’t that mean Johnston would be running … as a Republican? Gulp.

Nooooooooooooooooo!

But, if he had run for Senate in 2008, he’d be in Congress right now…as a Dem.

AUINSC on August 30, 2010 at 6:32 PM

Alvin and Levi? Time to bust out the popcorn. Hell, pizza and beer for this one!

Ed Snyder on August 30, 2010 at 5:07 PM

The Dumb, and Dumber remake? I’ll bring the beer. It ought to be fun watching them fight over who’s dumb, and who’s dumber! LOL

capejasmine on August 30, 2010 at 7:17 PM

ebrown2

I would never diss a destroyer. I spent two years on a Gearing class, Fram 2, and it was quite an experience!

Dhuka on August 30, 2010 at 7:37 PM

You know how horrible it is to have those vampires calling you, again and again and again.

Then don’t borrow money from “vampires”.

It’s not that easy. Maybe you’re lucky enough to have a phone number that’s decades old and no one with a similar name owing any money to anyone, but, for the rest of us, this is a chronic irritant. The better companies track you down (due to thinking you’re someone else) and make you call them to let them know that, while your name might be the same as the person they’re tracking down, your social and home address are not. The worse ones leave dozens of automated harassment messages on your answering machine with no way to call back. And the worst will get people who don’t owe anything to pay them bribes just to leave them alone.

Almost anyone who’s experienced this or understands how the collections industry works would be on Greene’s side on this one (albeit perhaps not advocating a ban on the agencies, just a limit on their harassment to protect the rights of the innocent). Some things even an Alvin Greene can figure out.

calbear on August 30, 2010 at 8:22 PM

Although it’s slightly mean to bait the mentally retarded, it makes for pure comedy gold.

Keep em coming Alvin.

You-Eh-Vee on August 31, 2010 at 12:02 AM

You know how horrible it is to have those vampires calling you, again and again and again.

Um. No, Alvin. No, I don’t. I usually don’t buy crap I can’t afford.

CapitalistPig on August 31, 2010 at 12:39 AM

The only problem: Doesn’t that mean Johnston would be running … as a Republican?

I’m sure he’d go greenie for this. In a race with Baby Huey, Baby Daddy and Unnamed Republican, televised, you’d break ratings records.

jamesrileyjr on August 31, 2010 at 8:11 AM