My favorite points from Republican strategist Ken Mehlman, who recently came out as gay: Mary Matalin has made conservativism cool again. Barry Goldwater and Ronald Reagan restored the Republican party to being a party of ideas, rather than something y…

And because I speak out graphically and matter of factly about the homosexual practices which are taught or are being schemed to be taught to our children, you want to silence me by calling me obsessed. You only firm up my resolve to speak out louder. And it is by deliberate and conscious decision that I speak in detail about what really occurs in these acts. It is so that true education may occur through knowledge of what is not “kiky gay sex” as you say, but normative gay sex. Knowledge is power. No one can oppose something if the reality of the thing is hidden from them.

You may be telling yourself that you just talk about gay sex to educate people but your just doing it for shock value. I don’t need to talk about all the weird straight sex my married friends have in order to have a conversation about sex ed. You on the other hand go on and on about it. I already know about gay sex, you do too, I also know that one of my straights friends likes watersports, in fact she has few qualms talking about it. Is it shocking? It was at first but in the vast array of human sexuality it’s not that weird.
You say that only parents have the right to talk to their children about sex, but lots of people are going to, on the playground, at church, (I lost my virginity at a church mostly cause that’s the only place my parents took me.) on TV, on the news. You can’t stop them from learning about it. It’s a huge part of our human nature. Why not accept the fact that an educator with a proper lesson plan might be able to do a better job? Do you teach your kids geometry and physics? Probably not because it’s complicated and some people spend years learning how to teach the subject to kids for maximum benefit.
I don’t think I’ve been anything but honest, I’ve shared deeply personal stories in an effort to help educate others about what happens to gays growing up in our system, I’ve argued that the status quo on bullies should not be continued, I’ve reminded you that gays are normal parts of the human species. I don’t need pray or mystical experiences to convince you, I have research and facts to back up my beliefs not just fears and over hyped propaganda.
Kids are going to grow up and they are going to be exposed to the world as it is rather than how you want it to be. Education is a better tool for dealing with it than faith. Education can help you spot lies and peer pressure, education will give you the tools to resist adults who try to abuse them. Why you take offense to all this I don’t know, I don’t really care about your religion, but neither does 4 billion other people on this globe, I’m not straight. I don’t date children, I pay my taxes, and I support my friends and family. I support these things because it’s good for kids and good for the country.

As to your last post: I have been discussing questions of God, fallen nature, sin, life, death, mercy, redemtion, scientific study and much more. Nowhere have I threatened you with a lake of fire if you don’t convert. Whether you convert or not is not up to me. It’s between you and the Lord. I can do nothing more than pray for you, and have these conversations, if I think they would spark something, but I don’t think that’s the case, so I’ll just offer a prayer.

As to my being obsessed with sex – no. I’m talking to you about it because homosexual activists, of which you are one, are obsessed with “teaching” children about acting out every possible perversion imaginable.

And since this is what we have been discussing, and since you are a man in your late 40′s who seems to have much interest in youth and homosexuality, I wonder why you are misrepresenting some really basic facts here. To wit:

You are claiming that the sex education that is promoted by homosexual activists like yourself and/or in concert with groups such as Planned Parenthood, or SEICUS, or any number of other groups who work closely together on this agenda are basically harmless, merely teaching children the mechanics of reproduction, how their parts work, how to “keep them clean”, etc. You say that the homosexual information, which is sketchy at best, is only there to prevent children from forming “fetishes”, whatever that means. All of the above is in the province of parental teaching, and none of the business of any teacher, by the way, but parental abdication of their children to strangers is another story.

Anyway, to make the above claim as you do, about the current harmless and beneficial state of sex ed, you are either ignorant of the facts, reading curricula from forty years ago and uninformed in the extreme, or you are practicing a crass and transparent deception. Granted, most parents, who are woefully uninformed, would believe you.

I am not one of them.

I also don’t appreciate your misrepresentation of the facts (look at the studies from the past thirty-five years) that homosexuality is not predominately disposed to promiscuity and pornography. Your personal insistence of this with your personal anecdotes are not representative of the behavioural patterns as a whole which has been scientifically measured and statisitically proven out in study after study.

But getting back to the sex ed that you are promoting. I have seen the teachers manuals and the curriculums that are in use and are being pushed into the pipeline. Have you? And if not, why not? And if so, how do you not recognize
them as the most graphic and depraved theft of innocence?
But then you say childhood innocence is a delusion, so how can an illusion be stolen?

Bottom line, these sex ed curricula are absolutely nothing as you so innocently describe. In a word, they are pornographic. But since porn is described by you as being like candy, I don’t think you would find any of this harmful to children. But why don’t you tell the truth about it’s content? Why did you misrepresent it to me?

And because I speak out graphically and matter of factly about the homosexual practices which are taught or are being schemed to be taught to our children, you want to silence me by calling me obsessed. You only firm up my resolve to speak out louder.

Do you have the same opinion of sexual obsession about the pornographic sex education that you are promoting? Or is it not obsession when you are cramming this garbage into innocent minds behind parent’s backs all the while convincing yourself that it is for the child’s own good. Who are you to judge such a thing, and against millenia of teaching to the contrary?

You said you were going to keep on doing what you are doing because it is fun. If you want to run yourself into a ditch in the name of “fun”, that is your choice.

And if you kept your personal life personal and didn’t want to take children into the ditch with you I would have nothing to say.

And if you didn’t want to talk about it, I would just pray for you.

But you insist on making your personal choices and your personal sins very public. You insist that they be accepted, celebrated, forced into unsuspecting children’s minds, destroying the few years of innocence that they have, and you want to use the force of law and every political means and trick at your disposal to do it. And you want it done using my tax dollars.

So now I do have something to say.

Because I won’t be bullied into a pc silence to stand by and let adults take out on innocents their personal problems, sins, “fetishes”, abusive manipulations or perversions, regardless of whether those adults are homo or hetero. Period.

I am upset that you are not being honest in our discussions, because I can’t believe anyone as deeply involved as you are doesn’t know exactly what is being taught, and how much further this “teaching” is being planned to go. If everything is so great about what you are doing, why the need to deceive? If the kids can learn about men’s penises in each others anuses and mouths, fisting, glory holes, golden showers, etc., etc., why can’t the parents of these innocents know that’s what the kids are learning?

Say it loud and say it proud, right? Then let the parents decide.

But that wouldn’t work, would it. So taqiyya it is.

Zekecorlain, I think the best thing for us to do is pray for each other, or in your case, at least wish me well, as I do you. Also, I would like to visit your blog, if you don’t mind, and would like to post the link.

I have been discussing questions of God, fallen nature, sin, life, death, mercy, redemtion, scientific study and much more. Nowhere have I threatened you with a lake of fire if you don’t convert. Whether you convert or not is not up to me. It’s between you and the Lord. I can do nothing more than pray for you, and have these conversations, if I think they would spark something, but I don’t think that’s the case, so I’ll just offer a prayer.

As to my being obsessed with sex – no. I’m talking to you about it because homosexual activists, of which you are one, are obsessed with “teaching” children about acting out every possible perversion imaginable.

And since this is what we have been discussing, and since you are a man in your late 40′s who seems to have much interest in youth and homosexuality, I wonder why you are misrepresenting some really basic facts here. To wit:

You are claiming that the sex education that is promoted by homosexual activists like yourself and/or in concert with groups such as Planned Parenthood, or SEICUS, or any number of other groups who work closely together on this agenda are basically harmless, merely teaching children the mechanics of reproduction, how their parts work, how to “keep them clean”, etc. You say that the homosexual information, which is sketchy at best, is only there to prevent children from forming “fetishes”, whatever that means. All of the above is in the province of parental teaching, and none of the business of any teacher, by the way, but parental abdication of their children to strangers is another story.

Anyway, to make the above claim as you do, about the current harmless and beneficial state of sex ed, you are either ignorant of the facts, reading curricula from forty years ago and uninformed in the extreme, or you are practicing a crass and transparent deception. Granted, most parents, who are woefully uninformed, would believe you.

I am not one of them.

I also don’t appreciate your misrepresentation of the facts (look at the studies from the past thirty-five years) that homosexuality is not predominately disposed to promiscuity and pornography. Your personal insistence of this with your personal anecdotes are not representative of the behavioural patterns as a whole which has been scientifically measured and statisitically proven out in study after study.

But getting back to the sex ed that you are promoting. I have seen the teachers manuals and the curriculums that are in use and are being pushed into the pipeline. Have you? And if not, why not? And if so, how do you not recognize
them as the most graphic and depraved theft of innocence?
But then you say childhood innocence is a delusion, so how can an illusion be stolen?

Bottom line, these sex ed curricula are absolutely nothing as you so innocently describe. In a word, they are pornographic. But since porn is described by you as being like candy, maybe you wouldn’t think that this is harmful to children.

And because I speak out graphically and matter of factly about the homosexual practices which are taught or are being schemed to be taught to our children, you want to silence me by calling me obsessed. You only firm up my resolve to speak out louder. And it is by deliberate and conscious decision that I speak in detail about what really occurs in these acts. It is so that true education may occur through knowledge of what is not “kinky gay sex” as you say, but normative gay sex. Knowledge is power. No one can oppose something if the reality of the thing is hidden from them.

I’m also wondering if you have the same opinion of sexual obsession about yourself regarding the pornographic sex education that you are promoting? Or is it not obsession when you are cramming this garbage into innocent minds behind parent’s backs, all the while convincing yourself that it is for the child’s own good. Who are you to judge such a thing, and against millenia of teaching to the contrary, and in 99% of cases against the parent’s own wishes, if they but knew?

You said you were going to keep on doing what you are doing because it is “fun”. If you want to make personal decisions and suffer the consequences in the name of fun, that is your choice.

And if you kept your personal life personal and didn’t want to take children into the ditch with you I would have nothing to say beyond my hope and a prayer for your salvation.

But you insist on making your personal choices and your personal sins very public. You insist that they be accepted, celebrated, forced into unsuspecting children’s minds, destroying the few years of innocence that they have, and you want to use the force of law and every political means and trick at your disposal to do it. And you want it done using my tax dollars.

So now I do have something to say.

Because I won’t be bullied into pc silence to stand by and let adults take out on innocents their personal problems, sins, “fetishes”, abusive manipulations or perversions, regardless of whether those adults are homo or hetero. Period.

I am upset that you are not being honest in our discussions, because I can’t believe anyone as deeply involved as you are doesn’t know exactly what is being taught, and how much further this “teaching” is planned to go. If everything is so great about what you are doing, why the need to deceive? If the kids can learn about men’s penises in each others anuses and mouths, fisting, glory holes, golden showers, etc., etc., why can’t the parents of these innocents know that’s what the kids are learning?

Say it loud and say it proud, right? Then let the parents decide. Only you and I both know that they would tar and feather you for trying to put that crap into their children’s minds.
Zekecorlain, I think the best thing for us to do is pray for each other, or in your case, at least wish me well, as I do you. Also, you might want to pick up a book called the “Confessions of St. Augustine”. Augustine lived in an age of pagan excess. In today’s terminology he would be considered and orgy kind of party animal. He talks about his life and “what made him tick” and how it affected him, even though like you, he didn’t want to give up the “fun”. He found a better way and became awesomely changed. He thinks for the better. Hope you read it someday.

My Lord, why can’t we just enjoy our lives; enjoy all our gifts and talents, without this disorderd, unbalanced, unhealthy sexual obsession. And a part of homosexual activity is obsession with sex. Doesn’t it just make you weary of mind and spirit?

this is an excellent question why are you so obsessed about sex, your the one that keeps bringing it up, your the one that seems to know about it in graphic detail. Have you ever thought about that? You seem convinced that all gays do is wander around having sex, lets see one of my gay friends has been celibate for two years, the other has been in a monogamous relationship for 4 years, yet another gay friend just met his first real bf when he turned 29 and has been with him ever since. We’re all pretty quiet folk. Yes there are gays that go out and have a lot of sex but they are not the norm. In fact lets look at the numbers gay males make up about 2.6% of the population, in a population of 135,000 that’s 4050 male gays of all ages, now about half of those are partnered up, and a third of them are in the closet or not openly dating. already that’s 3240 gays off the open market that leaves 810 gays ranging in age from new born to near dead. We’ll be generous and that leaves 600 gays actively dating and sleeping around at any one time. From my experience that’s even a little high. Basically I will know someone at any get together or party I go to. How would I sleep with 300 new people every year if the dating pool is that limited??? The gay population is of limited and fixed size.
Also how is when faced with an opposing idea like my friends wife being ok with porn you construct a wildly fanciful idea of what you imagine her mindset is? How do you claim to have such insight? Can you read minds now?

My philosophy of humanism is simple, we should each try to help those around us, endeavor to end cycles of violence, bring peace to our community, and leave the world a little better than we found it. Thats it, no mystic mumbo jumbo no complicated political message. It’s simple and thats all I need. the great part is no one comes asking me for money every sunday so instead I give that money to my friends in need and now I’m the god father of two wonderful kids, and yes they know I’m gay and they’ve met my former bf. They really didn’t care but they liked him speaking german they thought it was silly.

That’s a Father looking out for his child, not trying to deceive a child as you seem to suggest. And aren’t we all like children who may be weilding his/her free will as stupidly as a five year old with matches? A little humility will allow you to answer in the affirmative.

btw, your porn as candy analogy is cute, but a little porn is more like a little cyanide. Deadly at any dose. What is your definition of now and then? How often do you view porn before it is enough to get to know the “stars” and to want to follow them on twitter?

That is why I bother repeating this message, and that is why I think it’s important to educate young people about sex education.

Zekecorlain on August 27, 2010 at 2:03 PM

Your solution to someone confused about his/her sexuality is not to teach purity and chastity, for homo AND hetero outside of marriage, for life, if need be.

No, your solution teaches a headlong descent into practicing any and every kind of sex that comes to mind; properly informed conscience be damned, parental help (sometimes absent or even destructive) be damned, no, just jump on that homosexual thang and run-on-hell-bent, into a life of God knows what, because in school you “learned” all the details and that a fist up your anus was a good thing.

While it may be that some persons cannot look at sex any other way but through the prism of homosexuality, young persons with this issue do not need to be fast tracked into living this out for the rest of their lives by perverts pretending to “educate”.

Young people, in fact all of us, need to be taught to courageously and nobly protect our own souls, accept our own particular suffering and limitations, while developing our gifts and talents to help others, and to live very close to the heart of God in our suffering.

Because all will suffer in this life, but why exacerbate it to unknown heights by living it out in the darkness of sin, still suffering, but even more despairingly beecause God has been banished?

And whether a person can be changed or not, (and usually an older person who has lived the life for years cannot change)is not the point. The point is, no matter what state you find yourself in, homosexual or unmarried hetero, both are called to live in purity and integrity. Sexual activity is reserved to marriage, and even in marriage, there are lines that should not be crossed, in order to maintain the honor and integrity of each spouse for the other. Sexual activity outside of marriage is not a human right. It is something ordained by God, to be practiced in marriage, for the propagation and security of children and for the knitting together of their parents, so that we may have some kind of hope of maintaining a sane society, not a disordered, chaotic mess resulting in disordered chaotic personalities who are intent on taking as many down their dark road with them as they can.

Zekecorlian, I’m not trying to be smart, but why do you follow porn stars on twitter? Why are you into porn?

tigerlily

sometimes because I find them attractive and sometimes because I like them as people. porn is just candy, you can have to much of it and it would rot your teeth but a little now and than is pleasant.

As for @count to 10 if you read my responses to him I’m sure you could figure it. I feel he’s playing a disingenuous game with a faulty thought and if he’s bisexual than it might work for him but if he’s gay than he’s going to hurt someone very badly, and I’d like the chance to discourage him in that course of action.

What are you talking about? Put the BONG down and walk away.

CWforFreedom

Sorry, but its true. Social Conservatives used to be a major bloc of the Democratic Party, along with trade unions. It was not all that long ago that the South voted hardcore Democrat, even when there were big government Democrats like FDR and LBJ, and baffoons like Carter.

Historically, The GOP was represented by northeasterners in it for the economic side, and the western states in it because of limited government and individual freedoms. Those western state Republicans were not really what one would call social conservatives.

Social Conservatives have never been much on the individual freedom part, morality was always more important. I grew up in a very social conservative area, and there were some of the silliest laws, all to control how people lived. You would have thought fire and brimstone were set to come down on our Texan town, because the people actually dared to vote to allow liquor sales, and repealing blue laws.

Social Conservatives started migrating from the democratic party to the Republican Party starting in the late 60s, and going through the 90s. Of course we got from the social conservatives, LBJ and Jimmy Carter as Presidents, so excuse me if I am not too big on them acting like their values determine who is a real Republican or not.

People like Goldwater and President Ford, would be faux Republicans and “RINO”s to the social conservatives. But then again, those two were not moral busybodies either. But they were real Republicans, when the social conservatives were falling all over themselves to give us Democrat big government Presidents.

So excuse me if I take umbrage at Social Conservatives who seem to think that their movement is what gave us the Republican Party, and that they should be in charge

You said that you didn’t think that you should be concerned with being punished by my God.

Well, let me clear this up for you. Properly understood Christianity teaches us that God does not actually punish us, in this life, or in the next. WE CHOOSE OURSELVES the course of our life now, and also choose where we will spend eternity.

This is the awesome power and responsiblity of our free will, which acts at our own behest, landing us in hot water or in clover; it’s up to US.

Our free will separation from God in this life brings about unhappiness, but, even if we have ejected Him from our hearts, He and His beauty remain present and reflected to us in an infinite number of ways.

Not so after death, when our freely chosen separation from God will deprive us of all beauty, truth, goodness and light. It is beyond speaking about, so I’ll end here. Just don’t choose it for yourself.

so let me get this straight, your saying that despite the english translation saying that god calling things an abomination shouldn’t be misconstrued to imagine that god is calling someone or something an abomination because in the original hebrew it means something else? What happened to divine inspiration? shouldn’t the holy spirit have cleaned that up in editing? You mean people might take your holy book at face value and use it to preach a message of hate and death to the rest of the world? Gosh I didn’t see that coming. maybe if you had some rational basis for your morals…

Zekecorian, what the he!! are you talking about????? Really!
I don’t get what words you are trying to put into my mouth,
or into Scripture. Let my try to say this one more time, and please read slowly:

No where, in any translation of Scripture, does God call any human being an abomination. Ever. Period. End. of. Story.

When God speaks of anger and abomination, it is ALWAYS within the context of human ACTIONS

And when God speaks of His human creation in their persons, no matter how far they have strayed, it is with a desire for their salvation; with mercy and love for His children.
He says, “I have loved you with an everlasting love, I have called you by name and you are mine.”

You need to start a real love affair, Zekecorian, one that will change you and give you more happiness than you could ever have expected in this life.

P.S. What did you mean when you said to CountTo10 should contact you on your blog regarding homosexuality and young men, because you couldn’t be sure that you could “push his buttons” on this forum?

You said the following:

How many times do I have to watch someone sink into despair and self abuse when god doesn’t make them straight? To people who are normal having a magical diety is all fun but to people who are different be it from mental disorders or biological issues like being gay it’s not nearly the fun ride

It seems that you are acknowledging that the struggle of homosexuality is not normal, (but still, I say that doesn’t warrent or justify condemnation of any homosexual person.)

Lots of human conditions aren’t normal, in fact our very natures, weak and prone to sin, aren’t normal, because we were originally created in wholeness and integrity, free from sin and sickness. However, that is not the nature of our existence now, and suffering, despair and self-abuse is not confined to the realm of a homosexual person who is struggling to either live free from sin, or falling under the weight of the continuation of the sin.

Nobody living or who has ever lived doesn’t suffer in some way, and usually very deeply. And many sufferings are for a lifetime. I know, I experience several, that I won’t go into here, but suffice it to say that without God and without other people of God stepping in when they did, I probably wouldn’t be here speaking with you.

I have no doubt that those who have homosexual inclinations carry a heavy suffering, both from their own actions and the actions of thoughtless and cruel people. But so do many hetero persons, for a multitude of reasons. And sometimes the suffering is brought about as a consequence of our own actions, and sometimes it is not. But suffering it is.

And many times, prayers to God seem to go unheard. The situation doesn’t change. But many times, the sufferer realizes that they, not the situation, is changing, and that they can bear up, with the help of people that seem to just “appear” in their lives, and with peace, and because a Person named Jesus Christ knows and has experienced all human suffering, and is with them every step of the way.

But it usually takes the giving up of certain actions or attitudes, and definately a willingness to bit by bit, surrender of our life to Him, and at that point He is is able to make us, bit by bit, a new creation in mind and heart.

I hear some anger at your version who God is, and if I thought He was as you think He is, I would hate him too.

But I say again, you are laboring under major misconceptions. I don’t know if your ignorance is self-induced, learned from others, or a mixture of both. But it’s something you should think about addressing.

And you scoff at what I am saying Zekecorian, and we could debate til the cows come home. I just think that whatever you did or didn’t learn about the mysteries of your Creator, sin, life, death, redemption and mercy, along with your creation of many fact-starved straw men only serves to justify a continuation in your actions. And I think your life is layered in these straw men and misconceptions and they are a cover for the real person you used to be, or were meant to be, who is now metaphorically gagged and locked in the basement.

And these choices, are yours, and personal to you, right or wrong.

But you should not push your choices, nor the acceptance or knowledge of them onto others, most especially children, using the force of legislation and the power of the law; using the smokescreen that it is about “educating” them, when in fact the intent is to mainstream personal sin.

Have you ever considered that exposing children to such explicit and perverse practices may confuse many of them, and launch their young minds onto a path that leads THEM into a life of despair and self abuse? And that YOU, in whatever way you promoted this are morally responsible for their suffering? Isn’t that what we are seeing with the youth all around us who have had their minds pickled and saturated from all angles with sex of every kind?

My Lord, why can’t we just enjoy our lives; enjoy all our gifts and talents, without this disorderd, unbalanced, unhealthy sexual obsession. And a part of homosexual activity is obsession with sex. Doesn’t it just make you weary of mind and spirit?

I am as much a fallen person as you are, and as much in need of redemption, and I would never dream of going on a crusade in trying to make others accept wrongs I have done and sins I have committed as something to be celebrated, taught to children, institutionalized and codified by policy and law, all the while disingenously claiming it’s necessary to protect constitutional rights that I already posess.

I understand and assume your good faith when you describe your wish to help other homosexual persons avoid suffering due to cruelty inflicted by fellow human beings. But that problem is not solved with the promoting of homosexuality as something that everyone must accept and be taught about through the force of law, with our tax dollars, as something as wholesome as apple pie.

And those at the top who are promoting this agenda, truth be told, don’t care about anyone else’s suffering. They are promoting it because, like any good Leftist, they want to attack and control others. They want to inflict, not help assuage suffering. They would attack God directly if they could, but since He is out of reach, they attack His creation, their fellow human beings.

And only teaching children charity, love of neighbor and a healthy dose of discipline when they offend others can tame the savage in all of us, and address your wish to help stem the bullying and abuse that happens to others who are perceived as “different”. I am not saying that this human sin of abuse and bullying can be eradicated completely, after all we live in a fallen world. But Christianity and Judaism teach that it is wrong; an affront to human dignity. Which is not to say that Christians/Jews don’t bully. But if they followed their faith more closely this regard, they would not.

And the past 20 years we have seen an avalanche of pc censorship and automatic “homophobe” and “bigot” name calling and extreme bullying aimed at anyone who dares to disagree. I’m grateful that you have not done so in speaking with me.

Zekecorian, until you realize that your limited humanity is going to be, if you haven’t already been, confronted with the suffering, mysteries and realities in life that just cannot be handled in any satisfactory way that brings peace and some real light, it may very well be that as the life curve continues to get steeper (it doesn’t get easier; life is tough, all the way through) that you may find yourself in a really unhappy, dark, lonesome and frightening place. Call out to Him anytime that happens though; He is always with you, anyway. He’ll send a few people to help you out, too.

p.s. Are you a humanist as in a secular humanist? Do you ascribe to the Humanist Manifesto, which is really just a retread of atheistic/marxist principles? Your humanism does sound like a whole lot like garden variety atheism.

pps: Just as an aside, while I’m thinking of it, you are not correct in saying that the explosion of new std’s is not a reality, that in fact they always existed. No, you must do the scientific reseach, all laid out in secular medium. These are all new, and many times incurable diseases that did NOT exist prior to the “sexual revolution”. And as for your friend’s wife, I will never believe that she is approving of her husband’s habitual and chronic use of porn. She may have been putting up a good front for you; I imagine something that deep may not be something she would want to discuss. Or, if she truly accepts it, sad to say but she has a screw loose. Porn, according to many secular scientific studies, actually alters the brain in physically quantifiable ways that are quite harmful and in some ways reflective of what any addiction does to the brain. Those who practice it and have gotten away from it describe it as a highly addictive livign hell that rots the mind, numbs emotions and compassion for others and kills the soul. And that’s porn aimed at anyone, homo or hetero.

In these posts I have tried to speak in terms of both “secular” facts, backed up by science and also share with you a little about the One who your soul knows already, on the deepest level, better than I could ever help you to know, because He created you. You are free to deny it, but you will have to continue to go through some illogical and somewhat angry mental processes in order to stay in denial. Your free will, a gift unique to human beings, can be used in service of the truth, as far as we fallen humans can go, because we will never be perfect, and I know very well that we live in a fallen world, or in service against the truth. The choice is yours Zekecorian, thanks to the God who gave you free will. But the consequences of the choice are yours, also. That should give anyone pause…

Zekecorlain on August 27, 2010 at 11:59 AM

How exactly did we get to wiping someone’s brain? I’m talking about learned habits. You can pick up new ones, you know, and sex is really just a habit.

You seem to have a lot of preconceptions about what I mean when I write something. When I say I respect your choice, I mean I respect that you have made a choice, and that you don’t intend to change you mind. It was your choice to make, and doesn’t harm me in any but the most far-fetch indirect ways. What I criticize is the mechanisms of defense you put up to deflect the criticism of people that don’t respect your decision, because that does have a number of negative effects.

what happens if you get into the marriage and don’t develop affection for each other?

Zekecorlain on August 27, 2010 at 11:42 AM

You try working at it in a different way.
Granted, if the other spouse has entered into it on bad faith, and makes no effort, there isn’t much you can do but call it to an end, but, if both parties enter it in good faith, it should not be a problem.

@Count to 10 I really don’t need to be lectured to about not giving women a proper try. I dated over 8 women and turned down several more that were quite literally throwing themselves at me. There were several I wanted to get to know but i really didn’t have any curiosity about having sex with them. Your glib dismissal of other people’s lives as well as your belief that emotion is not important for marriages says more about you than me.

Zekecorlain on August 27, 2010 at 11:38 AM

I am not dismissing your life, nor am I saying that emotion is not important for marriages. I am saying that the emotion bond is developed over the course of a marriage — and imagining that it must be all be there, from the beginning, is what ripping families apart in the modern age.

If you decide not to pursue the female form, that is your choice. It’s really a habit, formed over years, not something that just springs up full bloom.

Unlike a lot of people I’m sure you have argued with, I respect your choice to live as you do, even if I think you could be doing better. It is the cover you are using to protect you from the criticism of those that do not respect it, the faith that you had no choice, that I am saying is not only self-limiting, but also imposes limits on others.

Also one thing you mentioned — the “loveless marriage”: the idea that a marriage is purely an expression of love/infatuation/sexual desire is at the heart of this problem. Marriage is basically a contract to raise a family between two people who like each other well enough to live together and learn love and sex. However, that concept has been eroded over the years by the idea of “romance”, and entertainment culture has really attempted to replace the idea of that contract with a simple official recognition of a sexual relationship.

what happens if you get into the marriage and don’t develop affection for each other? in europe and india they just take mistress and lovers.

@Count to 10 your thoughts on sexual development do have some glaring holes in them Count, it’s only fair that people call you on them.

Zekecorlain on August 27, 2010 at 11:35 AM

Yours thoughts are the ones with glaring holes, which is why I am calling you on them. You haven’t called me on anything, you’ve just reiterated the faith you have developed on the subject. I am telling you what is wrong with how you are looking at this, nothing more.

Zekecorlain on August 27, 2010 at 11:19 AM

I’m not advocating “political marriages” (marriages as a proxy for a contract between families, generally restricted to the elite), and of course marriages are between equals. Where are you getting this stuff?

The reason I stopped seeing women is I didn’t get hard and I had no empathy for their feelings and desires. I wanted to get hard, but it never happened.

That happens to a lot of people. It’s mostly about the unfamiliarity of the situation. It can be very unexpected, shocking even, but it goes back to normal with familiarity. Of course, if you have something that you find more entertaining, something easier, it would be fairly easy to give up on it and never reach the leave of comfort required.