Greg Gutfeld: I’m raising money to build a Muslim gay bar next to the Ground Zero mosque

posted at 7:07 pm on August 9, 2010 by Allahpundit

Andy Levy assures me that he’s quite serious. Media narrative on the GZ mosque: Shining beacon of liberal values bursting through the overcast skies of American intolerance. Media narrative on the GG gay bar: Dangerous provocation that needlessly inflames cultural tensions in the ostensible service of liberal values.

How very insensitive.

I’m announcing tonight, that I am planning to build and open the first gay bar that caters not only to the west, but also Islamic gay men. To best express my sincere desire for dialogue, the bar will be situated next to the mosque Park51, in an available commercial space.

This is not a joke. I’ve already spoken to a number of investors, who have pledged their support in this bipartisan bid for understanding and tolerance.

As you know, the Muslim faith doesn’t look kindly upon homosexuality, which is why I’m building this bar. It is an effort to break down barriers and reduce deadly homophobia in the Islamic world.

The goal, however, is not simply to open a typical gay bar, but one friendly to men of Islamic faith. An entire floor, for example, will feature non-alcoholic drinks, since booze is forbidden by the faith. The bar will be open all day and night, to accommodate men who would rather keep their sexuality under wraps – but still want to dance.

Not an idea that would play well with Christians or Jews vis-a-vis property adjacent to a church or temple, but oh well: If we’re going to celebrate tolerance regardless of the sensitivities of the surrounding area, let’s celebrate! And the best part? Because, as we’ve been assured many times, the “Park51″ cultural center will be a model of moderation, gay Muslim men don’t have to worry about being seen entering Gut’s establishment. Flaunt it all you want, fellas; you’re in Moderate Town, U.S.A., on that block. I look forward to the congratulatory Mike Bloomberg press conference.

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Comment pages: 1 6 7 8

Sounds like a fine idea to me.

Terrye on August 10, 2010 at 4:48 PM

I used to do stand up comedy in Southern California for a while.

Gutfield just isn’t funny.

Conservative Samizdat on August 10, 2010 at 3:32 PM

Oooookaaaaaaay, if you say so.

Stand up comic? Are you Margaret Cho by any chance? Paula Poundstone? Your sense of humor is at about their level, apparently.

Would I be surprised to find out you believe Stephen Colbert is some kind of comedic genius, too?

Bizarro No. 1 on August 10, 2010 at 4:54 PM

What about ‘My Pet Goat’ as the name of teh ghey bar?

Has a nice 9/11 ring to for liberals everywhere, and would fit in nicely with the clientel?

lukespapa on August 10, 2010 at 6:46 PM

I don’t get the Stewart worship on the left. Now and then he’s funny, but without his staff of talented writers could he stand on his own? I doubt it. Before his Comedy Channel show he was pretty much a failed Grade B actor.

slickwillie2001 on August 10, 2010 at 6:57 PM

Now I can’t stop thinking of bar names:

“The Farmer Infidel”

Scott P on August 10, 2010 at 7:44 PM

I’m all for it. Gay bars right next to churches and mosques that condemn homosexuality…all over the country.

fastestslug on August 10, 2010 at 8:30 PM

I used to do stand up comedy in Southern California for a while.

Gutfield just isn’t funny.

Conservative Samizdat on August 10, 2010 at 3:32 PM

Apparently you’re no laugh riot yourself.

Gang-of-One on August 10, 2010 at 8:32 PM

One last one…

Sheiks-in-Sheiks

txdoc on August 10, 2010 at 8:42 PM

In the spirit of reconciliation, Greg Gutfeld went to the tailor’s
To buy the Ground Zero Mosque building Imam a fine tie and coat
When he came back
He found him humping a goat

Cheshire Cat on August 10, 2010 at 9:42 PM

In honour of NASA’s new outreach to Muslims mandate I think a hole new space theme could be broached, and thats not even touching the obvious Uranus threads.

Koa on August 10, 2010 at 9:54 PM

Big Gay Allah’s

eschatus on August 10, 2010 at 10:10 PM

I’m considering opening Bubba Hussein’s Pork Barbecue Mecca near the proposed mosque site. Listen for the oinking and squealing from the minarets out front and you can’t miss it.

viking01 on August 10, 2010 at 10:20 PM

I’m considering opening Bubba Hussein’s Pork Barbecue Mecca near the proposed mosque site. Listen for the oinking and squealing from the minarets out front and you can’t miss it.

viking01 on August 10, 2010 at 10:20 PM

I can see it now, a pink dome in the shape of a pig’s face.

slickwillie2001 on August 10, 2010 at 10:39 PM

Hisballus

Off Broads way

jbinnout on August 11, 2010 at 12:23 AM

Some people have the right idea…have pig races next to property being considered for a mosque…
http://abclocal.go.com/ktrk/story?section=news/local&id=4808968

lovingmyUSA on August 11, 2010 at 12:56 AM

Would I be surprised to find out you believe Stephen Colbert is some kind of comedic genius, too?

Bizarro No. 1 on August 10, 2010 at 4:54 PM

No, he isn’t a comedic genius either. Neither is John Colbert. But they’re both better than Greg Gutfeld in terms of humor, IMHO.

Conservative Samizdat on August 11, 2010 at 2:04 AM

No, he isn’t a comedic genius either. Neither is John Colbert Stewart. But they’re both better than Greg Gutfeld in terms of humor, IMHO.

Conservative Samizdat on August 11, 2010 at 2:04 AM

There. I fixed my mistake.

Conservative Samizdat on August 11, 2010 at 2:06 AM

He found him humping a goat

Cheshire Cat on August 10, 2010 at 9:42 PM

The love goat.

DFCtomm on August 11, 2010 at 2:39 AM

Did anyone already suggest this name?
“Submission”

redshirt on August 9, 2010 at 11:25 PM

Excellent!

Dork B. on August 9, 2010 at 11:49 PM

Thank you, I love the combo of sexual reference, and the literal meaning of the word “islam”.
I would hope they find it extremely offensive, but they would have to explain that islam doesn’t mean “peace” like they always say.

redshirt on August 10, 2010 at 12:25 AM

Name; Sub-mission.

soundingboard on August 9, 2010 at 9:51 PM

GMTA
=>

soundingboard on August 11, 2010 at 3:28 AM

“Tea Baghdad”
“I~SLAM… but not what you think.”
“The I~SLAM CAFE
“Catcher for the Caliphate”
“Yes effendi… yes.”

“Your Tuckus Is An Ocean In Which My Oar Shall Be Dipped… Club” (Lengthy, but a great allusion to a great story, regarding a very popular book from the region. All about the branding.)

“…Allah Favors The Compassionate- but sometimes he favors the plain old passionate just a little bit more, if you take my meaning. Cafe.”

“I’m 32, I’m done with breastfeeding- I’m ready for A MAN Cafe”

“Hit me with a Fatwah with your Fat One, Bistro”

“Behind the eyes of the elders…”, eh, Cafe.

“Does your Cleric Know Cafe”

“Out of the Closet and into the Caliphate Cafe”

“Let’s Check For Sand In That Bistro”

“Mohamed’s Man-on-Man Emporium. (and cafe)”

“The Only Place In the World In Which A Terrorist Won’t Be Thought of As a Sackless Coward. Cafe.”

ChipDWood on August 11, 2010 at 4:56 AM

pig races next to property being considered for a mosque…
http://abclocal.go.com/ktrk/story?section=news/local&id=4808968

lovingmyUSA on August 11, 2010 at 12:56 AM

Interesting…

From that link you posted:

Baker has long roots here. His family named the road and when the new neighbors moved in, he tells us, they asked him to move out.

“Basically that I should package up my family and my business and find a place elsewhere,” said Baker. “That’s ridiculous, they just bought the place one week prior and he’s telling me I should think about leaving.”

That new owners deny they ever said anything like that, but Baker isn’t budging.

I suspect there is going to be a lot of this occuring in the U.S. proportionately with the number of mosques that are built here: “leave, we’re here now and we don’t want you here.”

“Or, submit to Islam.”

Lourdes on August 11, 2010 at 4:59 AM

slickwillie2001 on August 10, 2010 at 10:39 PM

Preferably if it revolves and has a neon turban on top. Plus there would need to be an outhouse or two with huge red crescent moons on the doors and big smokestacks belching big clouds of greasy pork fat smoke and hickory smoke. A nice touch would be a PA system to call soooieeeee when the barbecue is ready and for whenever that mosque dude starts yodeling. Gotta go whole hog, so to speak.

viking01 on August 11, 2010 at 6:41 AM

No, he isn’t a comedic genius either. Neither is John Colbert. But they’re both better than Greg Gutfeld in terms of humor, IMHO.

Conservative Samizdat on August 11, 2010 at 2:04 AM

I hope you’re just continuing your stand up act here!

I know it’s a matter of taste, but comparing Gutfeld unfavorably to Stewart and Colbert to me is like saying Friends was a better sitcom than Seinfeld. They’re not in the same ballpark. For starters, Greg doesn’t take himself seriously, and he’ll make fun of anything, unlike Jon and Stephen.

Stewart, and especially Colbert, for me are painful to watch. I’ve mocked smug people like them who aren’t nearly as funny nor clever as they think they are my whole life.

Leftists don’t really get good humor because they’re too depressed and nasty to.

Bizarro No. 1 on August 11, 2010 at 8:18 AM

Stewart, and especially Colbert, for me are painful to watch. I’ve mocked smug people like them who aren’t nearly as funny nor clever as they think they are my whole life.

Leftists don’t really get good humor because they’re too depressed and nasty to.

C’mon now. I’m as conservative as they come, but almost all great comedians have been big time lefties, so you can’t really claim that lefties don’t have a sense of humor. Sure, they find it almost impossible to laugh at themselves or their causes, but otherwise, they have senses of humor.

I wouldn’t put Gutfield as comedian funny. He’s an amusing political commentator, not good stand-up comedian funny. I usually get a chuckle out of his stuff, not a belly roll.

Monkeytoe on August 11, 2010 at 8:47 AM

I missed this episode of Red Eye.

Mr. Joe on August 11, 2010 at 12:17 PM

C’mon now. I’m as conservative as they come, but almost all great comedians have been big time lefties, so you can’t really claim that lefties don’t have a sense of humor.

Yeah, bad senses of humor. I also don’t agree with you that almost all great comedians have been big time Lefties.

When I said “good humor” in my last post, I meant in the sense of being silly, lighthearted, and fun (contrast the non-political Mitch Hedberg with Bill Hicks to understand my point.) Leftists don’t usually have the ability to pull that kind of humor off well because down deep (and often not so down deep) they are miserable people. Leftists are passive-aggressive and means-to-an-end people by nature, and predominantly relying on humor to make a point whether it’s a conscious one or not, which is almost always a Leftist comedian’s MO, rather than just being funny for humor’s sake, generally makes for unintentionally bad comedy.

Sure, they find it almost impossible to laugh at themselves or their causes, but otherwise, they have senses of humor.

That sounds to me like, “If Bill Clinton hadn’t been such a big liar, he would have trustworthy!”

If you can’t be objective with your humor and laugh at yourself and/or your causes, that demonstrates a lack of a good sense of humor. Look at where Letterman was in the 80′s to where his is now. He was not a Lefty in the 80′s, he was great, and he seemed to be enjoying himself. Now he’s swung Left, takes himself too seriously, and he’s almost as painfully unfunny and unwatchable as Stewart and Colbert are.

I wouldn’t put Gutfield as comedian funny. He’s an amusing political commentator, not good stand-up comedian funny. I usually get a chuckle out of his stuff, not a belly roll.

Monkeytoe on August 11, 2010 at 8:47 AM

That’s good that Gutfeld isn’t stand-up comedian “funny” – he’d be much less funny if he were. Stand up comedy generally isn’t very amusing to me – I’m not usually very impressed with people who are looking for the kind of instant gratification one-line jokes bring them.

Bizarro No. 1 on August 11, 2010 at 2:29 PM

Did anyone already suggest this name?
“Submission”

redshirt on August 9, 2010 at 11:25 PM

OK – We’ve got a winning name. And the logo has already been created, too!

landlines on August 11, 2010 at 2:32 PM

best name for the gay muslim bar

the allah ak-BAR

Kevin43 on August 11, 2010 at 3:28 PM

Did anyone already suggest this name?
“Submission”

redshirt on August 9, 2010 at 11:25 PM

OK – We’ve got a winning name. And the logo has already been created, too!

landlines on August 11, 2010 at 2:32 PM

soundingboard on August 11, 2010 at 3:28 AM

Damn! Rodney Dangerfield got more respect than me.

soundingboard on August 11, 2010 at 6:08 PM

Keep posting… Need to break 1000 with this one…

Khun Joe on August 11, 2010 at 6:33 PM

Jihotties Come Here

Muslims Who Really Hate Women

Muslim Men Suck 2

Bear Market

Camel’s Hump

Man Mecca @ the Mosque

Mohammed’s Closet

Bin Laden’s Secret Man Cave

69 Virgins

Dick Islamabad’s

Horny Like Goat

Terrie on August 11, 2010 at 8:37 PM

Fruits of Kaboom

JetBlast on August 11, 2010 at 9:26 PM

Now I can’t stop thinking of bar names:

“The Farmer Infidel”

Scott P on August 10, 2010 at 7:44 PM

Okay, actually, literally fell out of my chair at that one.

Ouch.

Noocyte on August 12, 2010 at 12:10 AM

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