Good news: Most Gitmo detainees now enjoying video games, “Twilight” movies

posted at 6:03 pm on July 14, 2010 by Allahpundit

Alternate headline: “Obama figures out ingenious way to get hawks to support closing Gitmo.”

While the 181 men being held in the prison wait to learn their fates after the administration fell through on its January 2010 deadline to move them out, 90 percent now live in a communal environment that includes Skype, the online video chat service, and access to a 17,000-book library.

That’s up from 40 percent of detainees a year ago.

The “Twilight” series, a hit among so-called “tweens,” is also popular with detainees, the camp’s “librarian” said.

Only “highly compliant” detainees can be a part of “communal living,” which locks detainees in their cells for four hours a day and means they are “afforded more liberties” and “more freedom of movement,” said Lt. Col. Andrew McManus, who oversees operations for the detention camps at Guantanamo Bay, as Fox News tagged along for a tour of the facilities there.

At Camp 6, a minimum security facility within sight of bright Caribbean waters, detainees can now watch flatscreen TVs suspended from above (and encased in protective plastic) or attend classes on personal finance — all while their feet are chained to the floor.

Skype privileges are limited to one hour every three months and calls are monitored, of course. As for TV, satellite reception during the World Cup was reportedly poor so the camp staff thoughtfully Tivo’d the games for the inmates and then showed them the next day. I’m almost glad, just thinking about what the reaction must have been to the last-minute U.S. victory over Algeria.

Here’s something from The Onion that came out a few weeks ago. The war on terror is now officially parody-proof, my friends. Exit question: Is KSM “Team Edward” or “Team Jacob,” do you think?


Al-Qaeda Calls Off Attack On Nation’s Capitol To Spare Life Of ‘Twilight’ Author


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Comments

<insert watching "Twilight" is torture joke>

sluhser589 on July 14, 2010 at 6:05 PM

And here I was thinking there was a downside to being an enemy of the country.

Weebork on July 14, 2010 at 6:05 PM

Allahu akbar! Now where’s my ticket to Club Gitmo?

Dr.Cwac.Cwac on July 14, 2010 at 6:07 PM

This is so believable yet so unreal. I’d rather see the prisoners in this country treated better if anyone is but this is like our mental illegal policy. It encourages them because moving to Gitmo is a step up for every Muslim worldwide.

chicagoray on July 14, 2010 at 6:07 PM

I bet they listen to Paramore down there, too

blatantblue on July 14, 2010 at 6:07 PM

Exit question: Is KSM “Team Edward” or “Team Jacob,” do you think?

LOLZ

SouthernGent on July 14, 2010 at 6:08 PM

Obama takin’ good care of the posse.

Hening on July 14, 2010 at 6:09 PM

Fetch the comfy chair!

amerpundit on July 14, 2010 at 6:09 PM

Great. The terrorists get the current movies faster than I can with Comcast OnDemand.

portlandon on July 14, 2010 at 6:09 PM

No lap dances?

Mark1971 on July 14, 2010 at 6:10 PM

Torture them with songs from: Lady Gaga, Usher, Katy Perry, Lady Gaga, Ke$ha, Lady GaGa, Lady GaGa, and Madonna. In that order.

SouthernGent on July 14, 2010 at 6:11 PM

Gitmo: The ultimate staycation vacation location.

Buy Danish on July 14, 2010 at 6:12 PM

All inclusive

blatantblue on July 14, 2010 at 6:12 PM

What stations do the listen to on Pandora?

Did they get iPods with speeches by DOTUS on them?

Any complaining about the death grip on the new i4?

PappyD61 on July 14, 2010 at 6:12 PM

Personal Finance? How to raise a Goat 101

PrezHussein on July 14, 2010 at 6:13 PM

If they’d a just been tried in military tribunals, they’d be in a federal prison somewhere…. with video games and twilight

lm10001 on July 14, 2010 at 6:13 PM

Exit question: Is KSM “Team Edward” or “Team Jacob,” do you think?

Team Jacob, cause he’s furry.

Enoxo on July 14, 2010 at 6:15 PM

Personal Finance? How to raise a Goat 101

PrezHussein on July 14, 2010 at 6:13 PM

How to set up a Roth IRA that will “explode” in value in the future.

Dr.Cwac.Cwac on July 14, 2010 at 6:15 PM

Personal Finance? How to raise a Goat 101

PrezHussein on July 14, 2010 at 6:13 PM

Those little goats are blowing up so fast these days.

amerpundit on July 14, 2010 at 6:15 PM

Guys, it’s a detention facility. It’s not supposed to punish. Punishment is what we have the gallows for.

SWLiP on July 14, 2010 at 6:17 PM

“Punishment?”

These are detainees. They haven’t even been charged, much less been convicted.

Gitmo was never about punishment.

“Enhanced interrogation,” such as it was, was about obtaining valuable information. This many years in, there’s nothing left of value we can get from them.

Better that they’re watching decadent Western videos than that they’re reading their Korans.

When we learn that they’re being given internet access, then I’ll be concerned.

As it is, it’s cheap, it’s mindless, it’s harmless.

Some day, we’ll figure out what to do with these people; until then, so what?

notropis on July 14, 2010 at 6:18 PM

God heavens! These people live in better conditions than I do.

TimeTraveler on July 14, 2010 at 6:19 PM

God heavens! These people live in better conditions than I do.

TimeTraveler on July 14, 2010 at 6:19 PM

I told you to move out from Bill Schulz’s place. Living under that bridge is beneath you.

amerpundit on July 14, 2010 at 6:21 PM

“Punishment?”

These are detainees. They haven’t even been charged, much less been convicted.

In that case, shouldn’t their accommodations be even more luxe? More than an hour of Skype every three months, maybe? A TV in every cell? How comfy should we make it?

And what about the fact, per the president’s own admission, that some of them will never be tried but are clearly too dangerous to ever be released? How comfy should we make them?

Allahpundit on July 14, 2010 at 6:25 PM

“Cake or Death…?”

Seven Percent Solution on July 14, 2010 at 6:28 PM

notropis on July 14, 2010 at 6:18 PM

A very valid distinction. I’m just worried that Gitmo is in danger of becoming a luxury prison on the taxpayer’s dime. It’s bad enough that American prisoners are getting such treatment.

Dark-Star on July 14, 2010 at 6:29 PM

until then, so what?

notropis on July 14, 2010 at 6:18 PM

Howzabout we try to discourage participation in attacks on our people, not provide incentives. When you consider the standard of living in some of the places these ENEMY COMBATANTS come from, Gitmo is a step up, at the least.

They aren’t there for spitting on the sidewalk.

hillbillyjim on July 14, 2010 at 6:31 PM

One upside to this. If the US government is teaching terrorists how to handle their finances then Al Qaeda will soon be broke.

Mark1971 on July 14, 2010 at 6:31 PM

Well, having read all four “Twilight” books and seen the movies (what? I was curious what all the hubbub was about), I would have to say that qualifies as torture. More so than waterboarding.

Well done, The ONE, well done.

mjk on July 14, 2010 at 6:32 PM

And what about the fact, per the president’s own admission, that some of them will never be tried but are clearly too dangerous to ever be released? How comfy should we make them?

Allahpundit on July 14, 2010 at 6:25 PM

Have you ever seen the Family Guy episode “The Former Life of Brian”? One segment involves a Canadian version of Alcatraz. The inmate asks the guard if he can leave. The guard replies, “As long as you’re back by bedtime.”

amerpundit on July 14, 2010 at 6:33 PM

I wonder if Allah would approve of all these little luxuries.

Monica on July 14, 2010 at 6:37 PM

This is so believable yet so unreal. I’d rather see the prisoners in this country treated better if anyone is but this is like our mental illegal policy. It encourages them because moving to Gitmo is a step up for every Muslim worldwide.

chicagoray on July 14, 2010 at 6:07 PM

What is so unbelievable about it? Gitmo is run by the army, an institution has high ethical standards. Our prisons, meanwhile, are controlled by corrupted prisoner guards unions.

year_of_the_dingo on July 14, 2010 at 6:37 PM

I mean allah the god rather than the pundit.

Monica on July 14, 2010 at 6:37 PM

Allahpundit on July 14, 2010 at 6:25 PM

So then I can put you down as officially supporting punishment without trial?

If they’re never getting out, then you favor making their lives miserable, just because?

If they are getting out, I suppose it’s important that we do our best to radicalize them as much as possible.

notropis on July 14, 2010 at 6:43 PM

hillbillyjim on July 14, 2010 at 6:31 PM

Since we’re not putting any more people in Gitmo, decent treatment is hardly an incitement for others to attack our troops.

Nobody’s going to be getting in, no matter how bad they might want to.

notropis on July 14, 2010 at 6:45 PM

I remember when letting dogs near the detainees at Gitmo was abusive, because supposedly Muslim people don’t like dogs.
And it was also torture for a female questioner to have fake menstrual blood on her hands.

So I think Twilight, with it’s dogs and blood, might just indeed be torture for the detainees.

(Using my Andrew Sullivan torture-o-meter)

MayBee on July 14, 2010 at 6:46 PM

If they’re never getting out, then you favor making their lives miserable, just because?

No, depends on the guy. If their guilt is in doubt, no need to assume the worst. If their guilt isn’t in doubt — as KSM’s isn’t — and they have oceans of blood on their hands, why not make it miserable? You want to hook hardened jihadis up with Xboxes too?

Allahpundit on July 14, 2010 at 6:46 PM

Better that they’re watching decadent Western videos than that they’re reading their Korans.

notropis on July 14, 2010 at 6:18 PM

But they didn’t only have television. They also got the PS3. What if during their stay they manage to master the hadoken?

year_of_the_dingo on July 14, 2010 at 6:51 PM

This weeks lineup at club GITMO:

Monday: Passion of the Christ

Tuesday: The 10 Commandments

Wednesday: Prince of Peace

Thursday: A history of the Crusades

Friday: A documentary on Pig farming

Saturday: Thomas Jefferson and the Barbary Pirates.

Sunday: Brokeback Mountain

Guardian on July 14, 2010 at 6:52 PM

notropis on July 14, 2010 at 6:45 PM

I’m pretty sure that Skype access,flat-screen TVs and personal finance classes go above and beyond “decent treatment”.

hillbillyjim on July 14, 2010 at 6:58 PM

Well, since Jacob is a dog, I’d say KSM is Team Edward.

sarahk on July 14, 2010 at 6:59 PM

I’ve come to the conclusion that its all just a big joke. There is no such thing as “justice” in this life, not for criminals, terrorists, pedophiles, perverts or anyone else.

I am left with the hope that at least one being in this universe still has a sense of justice and I hope we all get to meet Him after this life is over, even though it means I will have to face Him as well – which is truly frightening! At least I have the hope of an advocate.

Fatal on July 14, 2010 at 7:08 PM

Making them watch Twilight is cruel and unusual punishment.

Maybe we can get Jimmy to do an al Qaeda version next.

Mr. Joe on July 14, 2010 at 7:13 PM

..classes on personal finance ??? ah, sure , must be their low credit scores….

runner on July 14, 2010 at 7:13 PM

Well, since Jacob is a dog, I’d say KSM is Team Edward.

sarahk on July 14, 2010 at 6:59 PM

Dude? Don’t you remember KSM’s back hair? Definitely Team Jacob.

Mr. Joe on July 14, 2010 at 7:16 PM

Real life is stranger because fiction has to conform standards of reasonable disbelief.

abobo on July 14, 2010 at 7:27 PM

I don’t see anything wrong with letting Gitmo detainees watch movies and play video games. I think a happy detainee is less dangerous than an angry one.

SoulGlo on July 14, 2010 at 7:51 PM

Gulag!!!

MayBee on July 14, 2010 at 7:55 PM

That’s absolutely abhorrent. How the hell can they have a 17,000 work library when most of them can’t even read? That’s our tax dollars at work.

Cr4sh Dummy on July 14, 2010 at 8:44 PM

Why Twilight is popular

Gyro on July 14, 2010 at 9:09 PM

Studies show that al Qaeda members have been suffering from a rash of hernias from laughing to much …

Sonosam on July 14, 2010 at 9:17 PM

Isn’t watching Twilight cruel and unusual punishment. I thought that was just the teenie-bopper set that went to Twilight movies.

Dasher on July 14, 2010 at 9:38 PM

Good news: Most Gitmo detainees now enjoying…“Twilight” movies

I thought homosexuality was frowned upon in Islam.

James on July 14, 2010 at 11:33 PM

And here I was thinking there was a downside to being an enemy of the country.

its more nuanced than that, if you hate the country you get a show on tv or radio paid for by the government of the country you hate.

bombos on July 14, 2010 at 11:55 PM

A new schism is being formed in Club Gitmo as we speak. Camp Edward and Camp Jake.

TQM38a on July 15, 2010 at 9:26 AM

Hivemind…

MaelstromX on July 15, 2010 at 9:47 AM

So, is no one going to which video games they are playing? I think that would be a really interesting question.

JackOfClubs on July 15, 2010 at 3:10 PM