Bummer: Hot Russian spy, 9 others to be traded?

posted at 10:12 am on July 8, 2010 by Ed Morrissey

While the sports world frets over which city LeBron James will choose for his next basketball team, the blogging world has to deal with a trade situation of its own.  LeBron guarantees that arenas will get filled, but Anna Chapman guarantees that comment sections will flow freely.  Now the US will apparently offer the Russians a swap that will send the incompetent espionage sensation back to Moscow for … a couple of dissidents to be named later:

The United States and Russia are negotiating a swap in which 10 Russian spy suspects would be freed after a plea deal in exchange for Moscow’s release of a defense researcher held for the past decade on espionage charges, a U.S. official said.

The official confirmed that talks between the two governments began last week shortly after the June 27 arrest of the suspects, who have been charged with conspiring to act as secret Russian agents in this country. Nine of them are also charged with money-laundering. An 11th person, also named in the indictment, is at large.

The diplomatic discussions depend on lawyers reaching a plea arrangement in federal court in New York, which an attorney for one of the suspects said could come as early as Thursday. Three arrested in Northern Virginia and two arrested in the Boston area were transferred to New York on Wednesday, joining the five others.

In Moscow, an attorney for Igor Sutyagin, a Russian arms researcher who has spent 11 years in prison on espionage charges, said her client was unexpectedly brought to the capital on Tuesday from a penal colony in the far northwest and told that he was being included in the exchange. Sutyagin, who has maintained his innocence, was also issued a passport.

Sounds a bit like Lou Brock for Ernie Broglio, doesn’t it?  Somehow, I see a big hotness deficit in this trade.  Predictions for the number of comments on blog posts about an arms researcher named Igor: 12.  If I include a picture … 7.

Of course, I’m being a little tongue-in-cheek here, but this is actually a serious issue.  If Russia wants a trade for these spies — incompetent and useless as they apparently turned out to be — then we should make sure that Russia releases people who are worth the trouble.  Sutyagin sounds like he fits the bill.  During the Cold War, it often seemed that these exchanges served Soviet PR more than benefited the US, and were usually disproportionate in numbers.

If people have a hard time taking this seriously, it’s not hard to blame them.  The whole affair has been a giant anachronism, as if the Russians really can’t quite believe that the Cold War is over.  Every nation conducts espionage, but the kind of information these “sleepers” attempted to access through stealth was more or less out in the open anyway. The US probably has sleepers and deep cover agents in other nations, too, but hopefully those assets are in countries where information is much more closely held, and where deep covers actually produce information that governments don’t post on the Internet.

The spy swap is just one more anachronism, and a perfect end to the affair  And after all, the best part of the Internet is that hot Russian spies can continue making a public spectacle of themselves anywhere in the world, and no one has to feel they’ve lost anything.  Now if we can just get LeBron to play for every NBA team as easily …


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Comment pages: 1 2

Hold out for a Mogilovich , Yaponchik and 3 other Red Mafia members to be named at a later date… it isn’t like there aren’t a few of them we would like to get our hands on…

ajacksonian on July 8, 2010 at 2:24 PM

So what are the chances that 0 trades the fumble bum spies for some really good Russian spies.

Oleta on July 8, 2010 at 3:35 PM

-
Actually, she is not that hot.
-

esblowfeld on July 8, 2010 at 3:58 PM

Another vote for not hot (she may be knot hot, however).

I have a first cousin twice removed named Anna Chapman … that ain’t her ’cause she’s dead.

ya2daup on July 8, 2010 at 4:32 PM

OK Russia, You drive a hard bargain.

We will throw in Paris Hilton, Parez Helton, Lohan and your pick of 5 others from Holly wood and then we can swap K?

seven on July 8, 2010 at 2:20 PM

Discerning minds insist that Sean Penn be on the “must go” list, too!

ya2daup on July 8, 2010 at 4:33 PM

She might be hot but just look deep into her eyed.This is a women who would make love to you one min. and then put a knife in your back one min later.

thmcbb on July 8, 2010 at 4:48 PM

I actually think this swap is an outrage. What it does is tell the rest of the world that espionage against the United States will get you a slap on the wrist and a plane ticket back home. These 10 did not spend even 2 weeks in jail. Lindsay Lohan will do more time for missing a couple of AA sessions. I am very dissapointed in Ed, Allah and the commenters on Hotair for treating this whole Russian spy affair as some kind of a joke, which it absolutely is not.

coldwater on July 8, 2010 at 4:53 PM

Will they have to walk simultaneously across Checkpoint Charlie, ala LeCarre’? If so, can we get Anna to wear a bikini for the walk? We’re talking Big Traffic here people.

Hucklebuck on July 8, 2010 at 4:59 PM

It’s a damn good thing Ethel Rosenberg wasn’t hot.

Disturb the Universe on July 8, 2010 at 10:47 AM

Well, she was hot at the end, in a singed, my hair is smoking kind of way.

Rational Thought on July 8, 2010 at 5:11 PM

Darksean on July 8, 2010 at 11:12 AM

You and me both. Of course, only true Browncoats will know what the heck we’re talking about. ;-)

itzWicks on July 8, 2010 at 5:44 PM

Well, she was hot at the end, in a singed, my hair is smoking kind of way.

Rational Thought on July 8, 2010 at 5:11 PM

LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!

leilani on July 8, 2010 at 5:45 PM

The Hot For Words Russian import is way hotter, but that doesn’t mean Anna Chapman gets kicked out of bed for eating cookies.

Still, what is missing from all of this is a little more cowbell…

itzWicks on July 8, 2010 at 5:46 PM

coldwater – I’d suggest deporting Lindsay Lohan and keeping Chapman, frankly in the end she’d do less harm.

JEM on July 8, 2010 at 5:46 PM

Do you think the other nine Russian spies feel a bit left out?

They’re gonna go down in history like the Pips.

JEM on July 8, 2010 at 5:47 PM

I am also disgusted with the pathetic way in which American men are drooling Anna Chapman. Makes me think that a lot of them would sell out their country for a nice piece of ass. A sad state of affairs….

coldwater on July 8, 2010 at 6:18 PM

that be drooling OVER Anna Chapman.

coldwater on July 8, 2010 at 6:19 PM

that be drooling OVER Anna Chapman.

coldwater on July 8, 2010 at 6:19 PM

Sooooo hot!

ebrawer on July 8, 2010 at 6:53 PM

I am also disgusted with the pathetic way in which American men are drooling Anna Chapman. Makes me think that a lot of them would sell out their country for a nice piece of ass. A sad state of affairs….

coldwater on July 8, 2010 at 6:18 PM

I think that she is hot in an old guy sort of way. Her “youthiness” and come hither vulnerability have me thinking…….. Well anyway, you know what I mean.

Vince on July 8, 2010 at 7:40 PM

According to wiki, he only has 4 years left on his sentence;

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Igor_Sutyagin

Of course considering the fact the US doesn’t seriously prosecute espionage, I guess you could argue that’s about that the spies we caught would have been sentenced to.

18-1 on July 8, 2010 at 7:46 PM

Hey Ed
Really taking over AP headline teasers aren’t you. You both are becoming quite pathetic.
There is more to being a REAL MAN than ogling on some woman other than your wife.

defendfaithandfamily on July 8, 2010 at 8:05 PM

I think some of you are confusing hotness with beauty. She may be merely cute and not beautiful, but she’s definitely hot. That is, she’s cute and has a strong sex appeal that comes through in her demeanor.

SD on July 8, 2010 at 11:51 AM

Exactly. Too bad she’s a spy and is getting booted out of the U.S.

Dasvidaniya Anna Chapman!

RedRobin145 on July 8, 2010 at 8:59 PM

-
Actually, she is not that hot.
-

esblowfeld on July 8, 2010 at 3:58 PM

I think she could be a “Gold mine” for some Las Vegas cat house.

listens2glenn on July 8, 2010 at 9:35 PM

What ties do these folks have that they were whisked out of the country in the blink of an eye??? Can’t help but wonder if they were associates of any administration figures. Something stinks here…

indypat on July 8, 2010 at 9:56 PM

Since this is such fodder for the sexists, why even pretend it’s about spying or national security.

Move on.

AnninCA on July 8, 2010 at 10:02 PM

Deported

BallisticBob on July 8, 2010 at 11:21 PM

Deported

Unless there is a some wonderful secret part to this deal we don’t know about, this is a complete and total sellout of American interests and I am embarrassed for this country. Absolutely pathetic…

coldwater on July 8, 2010 at 11:55 PM

Somehow, I see a big hotness deficit in this trade.

Doing a great job of picking up Allah’s slack, Ed. :)

Tuning Spork on July 9, 2010 at 12:39 AM

Unless there is a some wonderful secret part to this deal we don’t know about, this is a complete and total sellout of American interests and I am embarrassed for this country. Absolutely pathetic…

coldwater on July 8, 2010 at 11:55 PM

Why? 10 useless, unproductive (intelligence-ly speaking) “spies” are traded for four incarcerated spies. Sounds pretty lopsided in our favor, at first glance.

Granted judging by their names, the four we got in exchange are all Russians, not Americans, but they were allegedly working for America. And they have served — or were in the midst of serving — long sentences.

All-in-all, whatever. Y’know?

Tuning Spork on July 9, 2010 at 1:18 AM

On second thought, I’m smelling something fishy. And it ain’t the salmon teriyaki I had for dinner three days ago.

Remember when that Dominican Republic-bound plane went down in Rockaway Queens? Remember how it quickly dismissed as not due to terrorism? Remember the reports, years later, that a certain detainee had claimed that that was actually an act of terrorism? Remember how we’re usually suspicious about what the Gubmint tells us?

Methinks there may be more to this spy ring story than is being reported. Maybe they were onto something.

Spy rings aren’t found out and apprehended just because they use the internet. We all use the internet.

Perhaps they’d made some sensitive connections that, firstly, caught the eye of the Bureau and, secondly, made them too dangerous to ignore.

I doubt that the FBI is going to waste resources pursuing known incompetent wanna-bes. I’m beginning to think that there’s a concerted downplaying of the success of these spies’ efforts and that it’s all done for damage control.

I wrote above that we were getting the better end of the deal. Now I’m not so sure. I don’t think we’ve been told the whole story.

Tuning Spork on July 9, 2010 at 1:38 AM

Actually, she is not that hot.

esblowfeld on July 8, 2010 at 3:58 PM

Thank you! As a guy whose admiration for the female of the species gets him into trouble on occasion, I was wondering what was wrong with me that I didn’t think this chick was “smokin’.” Say whaaaat? You’d think she was like a Bond girl or something, when IMHO she’s little more than a curvier Molly Ringwald!

I was thinking about this as I was watching a Nightline report on the spy schtuff talking about the “hot redhead” not registering anything on the (ahem)meter, when a commercial for some website called CouponSuzy.com came on. HOLY SMOKES! Now there’s a hot chick!

L.N. Smithee on July 9, 2010 at 5:06 AM

itzWicks on July 8, 2010 at 5:44 PM

Darksean on July 8, 2010 at 11:12 AM

“Can I know her?”

ZK on July 9, 2010 at 8:29 AM

I wrote above that we were getting the better end of the deal. Now I’m not so sure. I don’t think we’ve been told the whole story.

Tuning Spork on July 9, 2010 at 1:38 AM

I’m sure of it.

They weren’t charged with spying. They were charged with charges akin to illegal immigration and business fraud and sentenced to time served (y’know less than a week). Where was all the evidence of spying? The leftists were up in arms about “Rendition” and racist deporting of people who just come here to work and here you have both happening in one shot and NOT A PEEP. We find these guys, we don’t charge them with spying and not a week later we’ve got a deal to swap prisoners?! I’m not denying they were spying per se but Obama wanted these people out NOW with no trial… (I don’t think Russia would’ve gone for the swap otherwise… unless this is some sort of “Hunt for Red October” deal where they’re really Russian business criminals and we’re secretly abetting Putin’s communist control… and don’t think I wouldn’t put that past Obama…)

Skywise on July 9, 2010 at 8:37 AM

What will the Russians give us if we sweeten the deal and include the Lyin Pinnochio Presidente and the racist Eric Holder?

Our dignity back?

dhunter on July 9, 2010 at 10:15 AM

Unless there is a some wonderful secret part to this deal we don’t know about, this is a complete and total sellout of American interests and I am embarrassed for this country. Absolutely pathetic…

coldwater on July 8, 2010 at 11:55 PM

I’m guessing that we burned these harmless spys in order to leverage our guy out of Russian prison.

mugged on July 9, 2010 at 11:39 AM

I think she can do house arrest here at my place.

johnnyU on July 9, 2010 at 5:21 PM

More pictures, more pictures, more pictures, more pictures, more pictures, more pictures, more pictures, more pictures, more pictures, more pictures, more pictures, or a few more pictures please :)

phadedjaded on July 9, 2010 at 7:25 PM

She might be hot but just look deep into her eyed.This is a women who would make love to you one min. and then put a knife in your back one min later.

thmcbb on July 8, 2010 at 4:48 PM

So, how long ago did you meet my ex-wife?

manwithblackhat on July 9, 2010 at 10:32 PM

Makes me think that a lot of them would sell out their country for a nice piece of ass. A sad state of affairs.

coldwater on July 8, 2010 at 6:18 PM

I resent that. I’m sure a few of them would at least expect to treat her to an evening of dinner and dancing first.

manwithblackhat on July 9, 2010 at 10:38 PM

Russia, Soviet Union. Basically no changes in the national character. The bear is ever insecure. Always has been and always will be. And it will never ever be a friend of the US.

Same with PRC.

Simple.

Be assured the relationship is as frosty as ever. Cold war or not.

Sherman1864 on July 10, 2010 at 3:00 AM

Comment pages: 1 2