Aw: Al Franken fights to stay awake during Kagan’s remarks

posted at 5:42 pm on June 28, 2010 by Allahpundit

I’m giving you two clips, the first (via Greg Hengler) of Senator Smalley “resting his eyes” as she drones on and the second of her entire opening statement. Make sure you watch both before passing judgment on him; half of you won’t stay conscious long enough to even comment on this thread. It’s that bad. But in Kagan’s defense, it’s always that bad: Granted, she’s bland even by the standards of Supreme Court nominees, but the opening remarks are necessarily pure pabulum. The point isn’t to say something memorable, merely to avoid saying anything that might be considered the least bit provocative. Anyone who’s sweated his/her way through the tedium of a law-school “personal statement” will recognize it instantly. Sample line: “I’ve learned that we come closest to getting things right when we approach every person and every issue with an open mind.” Like I say, it’s that bad.

In the spirit of mercy, I’ll offer you a tip: The meat of what she says comes from 8:58 to 11:40, so skip ahead unless you want to join Franken in dreamland. One bit that almost rises to the level of interesting, as highlighted by NBC:

Kagan praised the law’s “even-handedness and impartiality, even when it’s not always even-handed or impartial (“What it promises is nothing less than a fair shake for every American”); she talked about how the Supreme Court should be “modest”; and, sure to please court-watchers looking to see if she would uphold the health-care law, she said that the court should try to be deferential to the American people and its elected representatives (“the court must … recognize the limits on itself and respect the choices made by the American people”).

George Will offered some hypotheticals for her in that vein a few days ago. If I had to bet, I’d bet Graham is tasked with pursuing them.

Not pictured here, incidentally: Her introduction by the most popular politician in Massachusetts. And no, I don’t mean John Kerry.



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Where’s a shoe and a strong arm when you need it.

Electrongod on June 28, 2010 at 5:43 PM

Sleep my pretty!

daveinguelph on June 28, 2010 at 5:45 PM

“I’ve learned that we make progress by listening to each other.”

What a complete nonsensical statement. What does that empty platitude even mean?

Queen0fCups on June 28, 2010 at 5:45 PM

if the GOP had balls, now’s the time to fillibuster.
She’s a terrible, predictable lib justice but when we get 50+ seats in 2011, maybe Obumbles will be forced to nominate someone moderately acceptable.

joeindc44 on June 28, 2010 at 5:48 PM

I fought to stay awake during his days on SNL.

CWforFreedom on June 28, 2010 at 5:48 PM

I guess she won’t be in the finals of the Last Comic Standing…

Kuffar on June 28, 2010 at 5:48 PM

Asleep is fine. It’s when he is awake that we have problems.

RobCon on June 28, 2010 at 5:48 PM

Funniest thing Franken has done since “Trading Places.”

YYZ on June 28, 2010 at 5:48 PM

Horrid…the video is of an ugly man and Al Franken!

WhatsRight on June 28, 2010 at 5:48 PM

‘modest’=bashing the roberts court…period

cmsinaz on June 28, 2010 at 5:48 PM

Does Kagan have a serious health problem? Once she starts speaking it appears to be quite painful to her, just judging from her expression.

Oleta on June 28, 2010 at 5:50 PM

George Will offered some hypotheticals for her in that vein a few days ago. If I had to bet, I’d bet Graham is tasked with pursuing them.

George Will’s hypotheticals are great hypotheticals to ask every Democrat running in this election…

ninjapirate on June 28, 2010 at 5:51 PM

But in Kagan’s defense, it’s always that bad: Granted, she’s bland even by the standards of Supreme Court nominees, but the opening remarks are necessarily pure pabulum.

there you go again. First, Ed. Now, AP. Both violating the 9.8 reading level rule with their posts—remember, all o’ us out here in the peasantry can’t seem to understand all ya’all when ya’lls using them pabulumous words n’ such.

ted c on June 28, 2010 at 5:52 PM

Kaganboring!

It’s worse than waterboarding!

Play enless loops of this whack till the jihadis crack!

profitsbeard on June 28, 2010 at 5:52 PM

Al Franken is the Metrodome of the Senate.

Bruno Strozek on June 28, 2010 at 5:52 PM

Unfunny Clown.

SurferDoc on June 28, 2010 at 5:55 PM

Assistant General,

sounded like,

!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SISTER !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

canopfor on June 28, 2010 at 5:55 PM

[Insert cartoon snore here]

The Ugly American on June 28, 2010 at 5:57 PM

If I had to bet, I’d bet Graham is tasked with pursuing them.

Yeah, because he’s the Right’s strong horse. I heard him touting his Gang of Fourteen credentials today.

Cindy Munford on June 28, 2010 at 5:57 PM

Maybe this is why he interrupted loveable Senator Lieberman and refused to grant him more time.

Hey libs, Joe agreed with me once. Hey, that should get him some more grief…

IlikedAUH2O on June 28, 2010 at 5:58 PM

Stuart was sleeping because its all about Social Justice,
therefore,as a good Liberal,he doesn`t need to hear a
word,he will,like Team Socialist,will vote Lock-step,for
the Democrat cause,end of story!!!!

canopfor on June 28, 2010 at 5:58 PM

She may be boring now, but she will be a consistent vote for the radical left…btw, what is it with the pursed lips? Nevermind, I googled it and this is what I found:

This usually reveals an arrogant and superficial character.

d1carter on June 28, 2010 at 5:58 PM

Cindy Munford on June 28, 2010 at 5:57 PM

he’ll probably be the lone gop vote for her in that committee, dang it…

cmsinaz on June 28, 2010 at 5:59 PM

I’m sure McLame would be against having her read bedtime stories to captives at Guantanamo.

Western_Civ on June 28, 2010 at 6:00 PM

He’ll wake up when it’s time to ask her about her favorite episode of Perry Mason and how it impacts her view on the law.

teke184 on June 28, 2010 at 6:00 PM

cmsinaz on June 28, 2010 at 5:59 PM

Agreed.

Cindy Munford on June 28, 2010 at 6:00 PM

My God, I tried watching the first clip with the sound turned off and almost nodded off!

The second one HAS to be a keeper; VERY powerful stuff. I’m trowing away the Lunesta tonight and just looping this…

karl9000 on June 28, 2010 at 6:00 PM

will the gop use dear leader’s words re: roberts against kagan during the vote? will they?

cmsinaz on June 28, 2010 at 6:00 PM

Dean Kagan accepts award from Equal Justice Works

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XrJsh7O8z3s
=====================================

http://www.equaljusticeworks.org/

canopfor on June 28, 2010 at 6:00 PM

This hearing sounds as if it is going to be a war on the John Roberts court…

d1carter on June 28, 2010 at 6:01 PM

she said that the court should try to be deferential to the American people and its elected representatives (“the court must … recognize the limits on itself and respect the choices made by the American people”).

Obama doesn’t – why would she?

Schadenfreude on June 28, 2010 at 6:02 PM

d1carter on June 28, 2010 at 6:01 PM

ding ding ding!

cmsinaz on June 28, 2010 at 6:02 PM

Funniest thing Franken has done since “Trading Places.”

YYZ on June 28, 2010 at 5:48 PM

He was funny in that film?

Del Dolemonte on June 28, 2010 at 6:02 PM

Ummmm, who’s the guy in the blue dress with the pearls?

milwife88 on June 28, 2010 at 6:03 PM

Elena Kagan’s Goldman Sachs “Connection”

http://www.cbsnews.com/8301-504365_162-20004522-504365.html
=====================================================

Testimony of
Elena Kagan
February 10, 2009

http://judiciary.senate.gov/hearings/testimony.cfm?id=3649&wit_id=7600

canopfor on June 28, 2010 at 6:04 PM

Jon Lovitz was nominated for the Supreme Court? When did that happen?

dirtseller on June 28, 2010 at 6:04 PM

If we’re lucky, Franken will ask some more Perry Mason episode questions. You know, REALLY intelligent stuff. Hope those Minnesota voters are really happy with the vast intellect they voted into office.

GarandFan on June 28, 2010 at 6:05 PM

He was funny in that film?

Del Dolemonte on June 28, 2010 at 6:02 PM

His Sen. Paul Simon impression on SNL was cute too, but yeah, he was funny in Trading Places. Everybody was funny in Trading Places!

YYZ on June 28, 2010 at 6:07 PM

I hear the drums are a beat`n for Kagan….

Boom…Boom…Boom..Da Boom…no confirmation..Boom…Boom.
send her….Boom..Boom Da Boom…back to Harvard..Boom..Da.
Boom…Boom..where she will only rein …Boom..Boom..Kaos..
Da Boom..on Harvard Campus..Boom Da Boom……(snark).

canopfor on June 28, 2010 at 6:08 PM

She needs to stop pausing for effect. It makes her look silly. What does she think that if she pauses between each word it makes her sound more sincere? It doesn’t work for Obama and it’s not going to work for her.

milwife88 on June 28, 2010 at 6:08 PM

Jon Lovitz was nominated for the Supreme Court? When did that happen?

dirtseller on June 28, 2010 at 6:04 PM

dirtseller: Lying is the Holy Grail for Democrats,that alone
will confirmed him/her,ahem!!(sarc).

canopfor on June 28, 2010 at 6:10 PM

Law Library of Congress

Elena Kagan

http://www.loc.gov/law/find/kagan.php

canopfor on June 28, 2010 at 6:13 PM

Bueller? Bueller?

Oh man, sleepytime station.

portlandon on June 28, 2010 at 6:14 PM

Poor Al must of stayed up late watching PORN!

KATDADDY on June 28, 2010 at 6:15 PM

Personally, I liked the look on her face during Sessions opening remarks. I’ve seen that look many times when I take someone fishing offshore in seas that are a bit rough…

CC

CapedConservative on June 28, 2010 at 6:18 PM

them pabulumous words n’ such.

ted c on June 28, 2010 at 5:52 PM

I believe that’s spellt ‘setch’…..

BigWyo on June 28, 2010 at 6:19 PM

It can’t be worse than this. Even Senator Byrd couldn’t take it.

portlandon on June 28, 2010 at 6:20 PM

…she said that the court should try to be deferential to the American people and its elected representatives (“the court must … recognize the limits on itself and respect the choices made by the American people”).

Well sure, if this means making rulings consistent with Amendments to the Constitution, as expressed in a legal process to change it. Otherwise, GTFO.

Let’s just say that the Congress just decides that Duh Won can run for a third term (puke); per her logic that would be just fine. That ‘ole Constitution, as amended, sure gets in the way of real ‘justice.’

GnuBreed on June 28, 2010 at 6:25 PM

Is it just me that thinks her hair looks like a wig?

lizzie beth on June 28, 2010 at 6:32 PM

I found his impressions of an unhinged slobbering Moon Bat on Air America very enlightening….

Oh,wait…..

BigWyo on June 28, 2010 at 6:32 PM

Assistant General,

sounded like,

!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SISTER !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

canopfor on June 28, 2010 at 5:55 PM

Agreed, but he was saying “Solicitor General.”

Princess Bernie on June 28, 2010 at 6:41 PM

Who’s sitting behind Franken? He couldn’t stay awake either.

Eren on June 28, 2010 at 6:47 PM

Okay, I made it to 1:38 before I yawned. What I want to know is, how much money was shilled out for the hair and makeup team?

Emily M. on June 28, 2010 at 6:48 PM

Assistant General,

sounded like,

!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SISTER !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

canopfor on June 28, 2010 at 5:55 PM
=================================
Agreed, but he was saying “Solicitor General.”

Princess Bernie on June 28, 2010 at 6:41 PM

Princess Bernie: Your right,my mistake!!:)

canopfor on June 28, 2010 at 6:54 PM

Al ‘Sourpuss’ Franken

RalphyBoy on June 28, 2010 at 7:02 PM

Well on the bright side at least Al is lying about stuff in that video.

Dave_d on June 28, 2010 at 7:03 PM

Kagen reminds me of a Men in Black character. Everytime I see her I expect her head to fold back revealing a small green alien controlling her robotic body.

boomer on June 28, 2010 at 7:20 PM

OMG, the pic on the front page and on the You Tube video literally looks like a Saturday Night Live skit.

Amy Proctor on June 28, 2010 at 7:23 PM

Is it just me that thinks her hair looks like a wig?
lizzie beth on June 28, 2010 at 6:32 PM

Lizzie, it is jsut me or does Kagan look like she’s smelling something really peutrid?

It was soooo booring, I turned off the tv and went picking weeds in my garden…jewel weed, lots of it, grows like, well… weeds!

marybel on June 28, 2010 at 7:25 PM

Excellent observations, AP, which I also share. Earlier today, trying to avoid yelling at the universe for making the mind-numbing dumbness of an Elena Kagan (or could it be the “I’ll bore you to death so you’ll go away and not look” Elena Kagan), I was reading other sites with other comments and could never move past the Kagan opening statements, as this:

Monday 06/28, testimony:

Kagan says she “will work hard and do (her) best to do a good job” — and “I will listen hard.”

If these are the requirements for confirmation to the Supreme Court, then I think the gecko on a certain car insurance ad campaign has this position down.

Lourdes on June 28, 2010 at 7:28 PM

Okay, I made it to 1:38 before I yawned. What I want to know is, how much money was shilled out for the hair and makeup team?

Emily M. on June 28, 2010 at 6:48 PM

I think — whoever they are — they’re trained in the same “reorganization techniques” that Hillary Clinton had done on herself before the various Presidential debates she participated in in 2008. She’d appear *magically* with a new face at the debates and the days before and after those same debates, she’d appear her regular, wrinkled, sagging, eye-bagged self (nothing wrong with that, just saying, that’s how she ‘normally’ looks).

At the debates, it appeared Hillary Clinton had some sort of plastic or wax mask on that held her face in a repositioned appearance such that she was twenty years old versus her actual age (50-ish) (and not a well-maintained 50-ish, either, from the look of her face).

Kagan’s appearance today in the start of her hearings was pohenominally plastic. Plastic, as in, false, phony, artificial, veiled, misleading.

Which, I think, was the whole point of the *magic* plastic repositioning of her nomination in the first place.

Lourdes on June 28, 2010 at 7:36 PM

‘pohenominally plastic’ ^^ should be: “phenominally plastic”.

Lourdes on June 28, 2010 at 7:37 PM

She needs to stop pausing for effect. It makes her look silly. What does she think that if she pauses between each word it makes her sound more sincere? It doesn’t work for Obama and it’s not going to work for her.

milwife88 on June 28, 2010 at 6:08 PM

The Democrats don’t care. Don’t care what she does, how she does it, they don’t care, they’ll vote to confirm her because she’s a Leftwing political activist. To the Democrats, that’s their only requirement for the Supreme Court. They’d confirm Joe Dirt if they thought he’d rally for Marx.

Lourdes on June 28, 2010 at 7:39 PM

Law Library of Congress

Elena Kagan

http://www.loc.gov/law/find/kagan.php

canopfor on June 28, 2010 at 6:13 PM

Boy, Kagan REALLY has a thing with other people speaking, doesn’t she? Her history in print appears as a litany of attempts to suppress if not eradicate people speaking their opinions when they don’t jive with Kagan’s demands for what speech “should be”.

She’s a political activist of the Far Left Kind and there is little about her to suggest she would even begin to approach a S.C. position with any reason other than how to impose her political demands on the nation.

Lourdes on June 28, 2010 at 7:44 PM

“I’ve learned that we make progress by listening to each other.”

What a complete nonsensical statement. What does that empty platitude even mean?

Queen0fCups on June 28, 2010 at 5:45 PM

She also said:

“I will listen hard.”

– whattheheck is “listen(ing) hard” even mean…

and,

“I will work hard…”

– notice the theme…

and,

“…do (her) best to do a good job.”

I NOTE that these are all and each statements that are drummed into medical school applicants to NEVER SAY when asked for a personal statement about why one wants to become a physician.

Lourdes on June 28, 2010 at 7:46 PM

Kagan’s opening statement (today) was worse than a very bad Saturday Night Live routine. Far worse.

Lourdes on June 28, 2010 at 7:47 PM

Dean Kagan accepts award from Equal Justice Works

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XrJsh7O8z3s
=====================================

http://www.equaljusticeworks.org/

canopfor on June 28, 2010 at 6:00 PM

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XrJsh7O8z3s

Gahh, what IS she saying, “to be a Great Dane” over and over again?!?

Lourdes on June 28, 2010 at 7:52 PM

It must be comedians day at the Capitol if they’re letting Mike Myers testify.

viking01 on June 28, 2010 at 8:10 PM

Sorry I missed this… Must’ve been watching the World Cup matches today!

Khun Joe on June 28, 2010 at 8:12 PM

Give her da hook!

Sherman1864 on June 28, 2010 at 8:50 PM

But don’t let my glad expression
Give you the wrong impression
Cause really I’m sad
Oh Sadder than sad
Of all the sad things known to man
Ain’t too much sadder than

The tears of a clown…

When there’s no one around…

KZnextzone on June 28, 2010 at 9:05 PM

Well on the bright side at least Al is lying about stuff in that video.

Dang I messed that one up. At least for once Al is not lying about anything in that video which has to be a first for him.

Dave_d on June 28, 2010 at 9:10 PM

Why stay awake when you know you’re going to vote yea?

Elena Kagan-winner of the Dick Morris look-a-like contest.

gary fouse on June 28, 2010 at 9:18 PM

Could it be there is a Dummycrap senator even more boring than Al Bore ?????

.
.
Naaaaaahhhhh!

cableguy615 on June 28, 2010 at 9:47 PM

Franken wasn’t sleeping. He was checking his eyelids for leaks . . .

tpitman on June 28, 2010 at 9:53 PM

Maybe Kagan’s opening statement can crack the terrorist who doesn’t succumb to waterboarding…

Potfry on June 28, 2010 at 10:34 PM

Whaaaaat?

Is Al drunk, stoned …………… or both??

bannedbyhuffpo on June 28, 2010 at 11:03 PM

Maybe Kagan’s opening statement can crack the terrorist who doesn’t succumb to waterboarding…

Potfry on June 28, 2010 at 10:34 PM

Potfry:)
=====================================================

Kagan shielded Saudis from 9/11 lawsuit
Sided with kingdom in case brought by victims of terror attacks

Posted: May 12, 2010
3:47 pm Eastern
By Aaron Klein
© 2010 WorldNetDaily
====================================================

http://www.wnd.com/index.php?fa=PAGE.view&pageId=152949

canopfor on June 28, 2010 at 11:09 PM

Proof positive again, democracy is designed for kindergartners. Hearing Kagan’s opening remarks is like being a kid again and hearing Captain Kangaroo and Mr. Green Jeans state the lesson of the day, suitably simplified for our comprehension.

J.E. Dyer on June 28, 2010 at 11:38 PM

Al Franken stole the Chris Farley senate seat!

Come to think of it, Chris could have done a good Kagan impersonation.

Noel on June 29, 2010 at 12:02 AM

Stuart is under no obligation to stay awake. He’s a liberal; Elena’s a liberal. Therefore, he will reflexively vote for her.
This hearing is just an informal inconvenience for him, and an excuse to catch 40 winks.
In future hearings he just might bring in some knitting or a Suduko puzzle to work on

ToddonCapeCod on June 29, 2010 at 5:57 AM

Al Franken? Ugh.

Frankenlies.com: The truth about the lies of Al Franken

DPierre on June 29, 2010 at 7:22 AM

Correct me if I am wrong (and you will)…I noticed very little statements about enforcing the constitution, and many remarks about sustaining and supporting “the law”.
She stays away from application of the constitution as to the basis of valid laws, and leans more towards laws that were passed, or mandated laws.
She states she is hesitate to overturn the “peoples law”, but does that mean really the people or the bureaucrats that create laws.
For instance: Health care, bureaucrats created, but obvious the public did not want it…so where does she stand, is it a “peoples” law?

right2bright on June 29, 2010 at 7:38 AM

I hope minnesota is proud of their bafoon Senator. With idiots like those contaminating the voting pool, just add a few million peasant illegal immigrants and you have every thinking mans vote negated.

Unions, minorities, government employees, welfare freeloaders = accomplished hard working taxpayers in the voting pool. Just a matter of time till the trough sloppers outnumber the productive achievers.

What a sad testiment to the USA. The democrats should be proud of their nobel accomplishment. More zeros riding in the wagon than achievers pulling it. We shall see how that works out long term.

saiga on June 29, 2010 at 10:18 AM

Saiga is correct. The great Viking Gene Pool was contaminated by the southern slave owners who came north to beat the humidity which caused the slave owner of the deep south to take naps because any exertion in high levels of humidity caused exhaustion. However, they found when they moved north to beat the humidity they could do the same thing, taking naps to beat the cold.

To enable the rich white southerners to survive they just brought their slaves with them. Thus, they also brought their politics and their slaves. When the slaves were set free they began looking for work within the industrial sector vice agriculture and their history was the landowner the “Boss” provided everything. Now the slaves faced having to work in a harsh environment which ended up fostering the birth of unions, filling the “Boss” magically the same conditions of the south had made their way north and spread.

MSGTAS on June 29, 2010 at 11:02 AM

On a related note:
FIFA efforts to raise excitement levels at the world cup have backfired after they ordered all vuvuzelas to be replaced by Kagan horns.

AverageJoe on June 29, 2010 at 11:55 AM