Good news: Era of sandwiches that contain bread to end next week

posted at 9:59 pm on April 2, 2010 by Allahpundit

Yes, this is a bona fide news event. (Check Google News if you don’t believe me.) Just as the iPad pares down personal computing to its sweetest, most instantly gratifying essentials, so too does this M-80 of meat, fat, and salt. Why, I haven’t felt a craving this intense since … yesterday, actually. Steve Jobs and the Colonel: American geniuses.

On the day that I finally pull the trigger on the iPad, I’m taking it to KFC. And together, united at last, we shall Double Down.

Last August, we wrote about the “Double Down,” a mysteriously tempting (and potentialy lethal) new food item being tested by KFC. For those coming late to the story, it’s bacon and cheese sandwiched between two pieces of fried chicken. And now, many months later, I’ll finally be able to get my hands on one.

KFC announced the decision to go live with the Double Down yesterday, but we weren’t sure they weren’t playing a April Fools gag. But no, they truly are going nationwide with the delicacy on April 12.

So glorious is its arrival that KFC has actually posted a countdown clock on its website. Follow the link for nutritional information if you dare. They tested it last year in Nebraska and Rhode Island, just on the exceedingly remote chance that it wouldn’t be received well. As it is, they’re lucky other states didn’t see black markets spring up (content warning). Now that we’ve reached this point, with breadless lard bombs freely available to American adults, there’s really only one frontier left to cross. And that day is coming soon too, my friends.

Exit question: Is this the final, irrefutable reason not to buy an iPad? (Exit answer: Not if you’re already a beta male.)


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If it weren’t for the breaded coating I’d a couple of them bad boys for a meal. Not every day but, damn, that’d be some good protein. Mind you the sodium is probably a little much.

MT

Mistahtibbs on April 3, 2010 at 2:21 AM

Four things:

1. The guy in that video is a pansy. After listening to him speak in “Wuss” I want to see a beautiful girl walk up to him call him out for being a wuss, and kick him in the Nads.

A real man doesn’t complain about the number of Calories he eats, he simply takes that into account when he schedules just how many people’s dreams he needs to crush with his bare hands to burn them off…. but I digress.

2. I’d eat it if they could make the bacon/cheese dispersal a bit more uniform.

3. I’m not really sure what the point of going without bread is… other than a cost-saving cheap-ass measure. Hardees has the Monster Burger, Burger King has the Quad Stacker Cheese Burger, Mc. Donalds has their double quarter pounder…. why doesn’t KFC slap that bad-boy on a bun so I can get a better grip, and put additional condiments on it (such as BBQ sauce, and perhaps a Beef Pattie between the chicken)

4. Finally, Why would I want an I-pad when my Moto-Droid is far superior, and easier to wipe clean with someone’s necktie than an I-pad.

Jones Zemkophill on April 3, 2010 at 2:29 AM

What is Michelle “Veggie Nanny” Obama going to say about this?

Not gonna be printable!!!

PappyD61 on April 3, 2010 at 2:37 AM

4. Finally, Why would I want an I-pad when my Moto-Droid is far superior, and easier to wipe clean with someone’s necktie than an I-pad.

Jones Zemkophill on April 3, 2010 at 2:29 AM

Yo funnie!

leftnomore on April 3, 2010 at 3:01 AM

It has bread. It’s battered in fried bread.

Now if you want lethal, try a fried chicken Po-Boy. Lettuce, fried chicken, and thousand island dressing on a large bread roll. They’re like knockout drops, except with more mess.

And while I was checking it on the web, it looks like there are french fry po-boys too.

Voyager on April 3, 2010 at 5:06 AM

Silly eastcoasters. Carl’s Jr. rolled out the bunless low-carb burger some six years ago.

http://www.carlsjr.com/menu/charbroiled-burgers/the-low-carb-six-dollar-burger/

year_of_the_dingo on April 3, 2010 at 5:43 AM

Remember the good old days, when eating chicken was considered good for you?

pilamaye on April 3, 2010 at 7:53 AM

Silly eastcoasters. Carl’s Jr. rolled out the bunless low-carb burger some six years ago. – Dingo

Carl’s/Hardy’s also has a grilled cheese cheese burger … mnmmmmmmmm sssooooooooo goooooooooood ….

Tony737 on April 3, 2010 at 7:55 AM

If it weren’t for the breaded coating I’d a couple of them bad boys for a meal. Not every day but, damn, that’d be some good protein. Mind you the sodium is probably a little much.

MT

Mistahtibbs on April 3, 2010 at 2:21 AM

It comes in grilled chicken format too. No breading and less calories but more sodium.

Darth Executor on April 3, 2010 at 8:17 AM

I’m glad they’re also producing a grilled version. I’m watching my carbs.

Kafir on April 3, 2010 at 8:20 AM

Real men double down.

Beta males buy an iPad.

It’s your call, Allah.

tsj017 on April 3, 2010 at 9:25 AM

A real man doesn’t complain about the number of Calories he eats, he simply takes that into account when he schedules just how many people’s dreams he needs to crush with his bare hands to burn them off…. but I digress.
Jones Zemkophill on April 3, 2010 at 2:29 AM

Sigh…where have you been all my life?

All I know is that there is no greater turn-off than being out to dinner with a man who eats like an old woman while talking about his cholesterol. Men should eat heartily. And if they don’t, the last thing they want to do is call attention to it.

CarolynM on April 3, 2010 at 9:28 AM

Carbs are for beer.

Protein is for the main course.

Man invented beer so he didn’t have to carry bread around and has not looked back since…

ajacksonian on April 3, 2010 at 9:38 AM

loved reading all these comments; some made me laugh out loud. I don’t go to fast food stores, but have nothing against those who do, just never had the inclination.. . .hope you all enjoy your Double Down!

Willie on April 3, 2010 at 10:31 AM

Go Nebraska! Have a few friends that tried to eat one. One of which made a video:

The consensus was that it’s impossible to finish without feeling ill.

spkthed on April 3, 2010 at 10:35 AM

I love my bread and am not about to give it up. Maybe if they had some buscuits around that, yum. Then share it with someone, of course.

immigrantchick on April 3, 2010 at 10:50 AM

I remember that the day I stopped counting calories, I actually lost weight. Before that, I was so focused on food, I wanted to eat all the time. Now, if I have a huge meal like that, I probably would skip snacks or the next meal. I also got away from the non-fat stuff and eat the real deal mayo, cheese, etc., and am slimmer now after 2 kids than before the kids. Go figure.

immigrantchick on April 3, 2010 at 10:54 AM

I’m a lot healthier since I cut out almost all grains from my diet last fall. Better lipids, lower BP, fewer digestive disturbances of all kinds. I still eat breakfast tacos on the weekends, and I find I can get away with that small amount of cheating without hurting my progress.

juliesa on April 3, 2010 at 11:01 AM

I just found out this week that my cholesterol and triglycerides are sky high. Cant wait to have one of these….in at least three months.

shick on April 3, 2010 at 12:22 PM

So you could have one of these for breakfast, lunch, and dinner and be at 1,620 calories for the day…I’m going on a KFC diet! Eat your heart out, Jared!

packsoldier on April 3, 2010 at 12:29 PM

“Note to self: figure out a way to feed mayonaise to tunas.”

Akzed on April 3, 2010 at 12:34 PM

For those coming late to the story, it’s bacon and cheese sandwiched between two pieces of fried chicken.

And Western Civilization is saved!

rbj on April 3, 2010 at 12:44 PM

Sweeeet!!

I’m on a one year low carb binge and it’s hard to find stuff to eat at fast food places. I’m gunna git me sum!

Thanks Colonel!

TheCulturalist on April 3, 2010 at 1:57 PM

Eh, it’s Passover. We’ve been eating sandwiches that don’t contain bread all week.

Attila (Pillage Idiot) on April 3, 2010 at 3:18 PM

I’m a lot healthier since I cut out almost all grains from my diet last fall.
juliesa on April 3, 2010 at 11:01 AM

Sounds like a life not worth living. /

CWforFreedom on April 3, 2010 at 5:26 PM

For people with Celiac disease or other intolerance to Wheat or similar grains, the anti-bread / low carb movement is a bit of a help. It’s only about a percent of the population, but that’s a lot of people.

Unfortunately, things like this are no help because fast food restaurants can’t avoid cross-contamination, even with the non-breaded version.

Since most people who have it don’t know it, if you stop eating grains as part of a low-carb diet and start feeling a lot better, losing weight, etc, you might want to get tested.

Merovign on April 3, 2010 at 6:36 PM

The family and I are counting down!! KFC rocks our world.

leftnomore on April 4, 2010 at 4:31 AM

Looks yummy! I think I could handle me some three of them real easy!

:)

Vntnrse on April 4, 2010 at 11:24 AM

Well – That will work great with my Atkins Diet..

Panentheist on April 4, 2010 at 10:38 PM

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