Dem congressman: If Guam gets too overpopulated, it might tip over

posted at 9:55 pm on March 31, 2010 by Allahpundit

Via Weasel Zippers, a clip that’s destined to be viral by tomorrow morning. Even so, go easy on him. Yes, he was an Iraq defeatist, and granted, he demagogued Joe Wilson’s outburst in the scummiest way imaginable, but he’s also a guy with a serious illness that affects his mind (“he regularly gets lost in thought in the middle of a discussion”). Although if that’s what’s going on here, a polite question for Madam Speaker arises: What’s he doing at these hearings instead of resting?

You may also remember Johnson as the man who beat Cynthia McKinney in the 2006 primary. All things considered, I think I still prefer him to her. Barely.

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Seriously? That got moderated?

Wow. Your new overlords are tight-a$$es.

nukemhill on April 1, 2010 at 12:44 AM

I’ve got shoes smarter than this guy . . .

thomasaur on March 31, 2010 at 11:23 PM

I’ve thrown hand grenades smarter than this twink.

[And a lot more useful . . . ]

CPT. Charles on April 1, 2010 at 12:47 AM

R Square on April 1, 2010 at 12:42 AM

R Square, good call!

*SL* I just think this is a riot…

WhoU4 on April 1, 2010 at 12:48 AM

Before being allowed to serve in Congress, elected officials should be required to demonstrate that they possess an IQ that is at least equal to that of a potted plant.

R Square on April 1, 2010 at 12:53 AM

What a moron.

Everybody knows that as long as you distribute the people evenly it won’t tip over. In fact, the weight of more people will make Guam more stable in rough seas.

James on April 1, 2010 at 12:54 AM

You may also remember Johnson as the man who beat Cynthia McKinney

I envy him – I would love to beat Cynthia McKinney.

disa on April 1, 2010 at 1:04 AM

Everybody knows that as long as you distribute the people evenly it won’t tip over. In fact, the weight of more people will make Guam more stable in rough seas

Not true! The Great Turtle upon which all the Earth rests shall summon the Giant Catfish Demigods at the bottom of the sea to prop up Guam on their backs and transport the island to safety, but only after a virgin has been sacrificed by the light of a full moon.

sawbuck on April 1, 2010 at 1:05 AM

Everybody knows that as long as you distribute the people evenly it won’t tip over. In fact, the weight of more people will make Guam more stable in rough seas.

James on April 1, 2010 at 12:54 AM

Yes, but it will cause the seas to rise, and be mistaken for Glowbull Wyrming.

nukemhill on April 1, 2010 at 1:06 AM

What a moron.

Everybody knows that as long as you distribute the people evenly it won’t tip over. In fact, the weight of more people will make Guam more stable in rough seas.

James on April 1, 2010 at 12:54 AM

+1

Good point! If a super typhon generated sufficient winds it might be possible to catch the lip of the shoreline and flip the entire island!

R Square on April 1, 2010 at 1:08 AM

Okay, I laughed but I’m also angry when the guy responds respectfully: “we don’t anticipate that …”

Enough of this deference to these clowns. The only proper response is: “What??? Tip over?? Are you really this f***ing stupid?? Mr. Chairman, I’m a busy man and I don’t have time to answer questions from bozos. Goodbye.”

PackerBronco on April 1, 2010 at 1:12 AM

If you could square this guy’s IQ …

… it would get smaller.

PackerBronco on April 1, 2010 at 1:13 AM

Okay, I’m all for Democrat bashing. All for it.

But the fact that the guy has a real mental illness makes this a bit understandable. If we beat up on him too much over this, there will be a backlash from mental illness advocates.

Just saying.

ericdondero on March 31, 2010 at 10:17 PM

Let the Dems defend this travesty of a Congressman. I dare them. Cause is irrelevant.

Winder what Pelosi promised him in exchange for his healthcare vote.

disa on April 1, 2010 at 1:15 AM

Wonder what Pelosi promised him in exchange for his healthcare vote.

disa on April 1, 2010 at 1:15 AM

Ummm… Pills?

WhoU4 on April 1, 2010 at 1:19 AM

Winder what Pelosi promised him in exchange for his healthcare vote.

disa on April 1, 2010 at 1:15 AM

A Massa massage.

Western_Civ on April 1, 2010 at 1:21 AM

If brains were dynamite, Hank Johnson wouldn’t have enough to blow his nose.

Hawthorne on April 1, 2010 at 1:23 AM

If brains were dynamite, Hank Johnson wouldn’t have enough to blow his nose.

Hawthorne on April 1, 2010 at 1:23 AM

I can see myself giggling about that for quite some time.

daesleeper on April 1, 2010 at 1:24 AM

I agree with MM…how long before there are cries of racism?

d1carter on April 1, 2010 at 1:26 AM

Certain women on the view wouldn’t know why we’re laughing about this.

One of them wouldn’t commit to the fact that the earth was round.

blink on April 1, 2010 at 1:20 AM

No, but I bet they would start a charity for relief, just in case Guam capsizes. You have to be prepared for a disaster of that magnitude you know. The charity might be able to finance the creation of a large rubber raft for Guam just in case.

Hawthorne on April 1, 2010 at 1:26 AM

I agree with MM…how long before there are cries of racism?

d1carter on April 1, 2010 at 1:26 AM

EVERYBODY HERE IS RACIST!

The previous message was just a drill. If this had been a real racists accusation you would have been tuned to a mass media outlet to hear it. It also would have been accompanied by at least one leftist political figure of note or a number of union thugs. You may now return to your regular programming more prepared for the inevitable.

Hawthorne on April 1, 2010 at 1:32 AM

If you could square this guy’s IQ …

… it would get smaller.

PackerBronco on April 1, 2010 at 1:13 AM

But it would still be between 7 and 12 miles wide, at its widest point.

We don’t fully realize it yet, but when we wake up tomorrow, we will discover that this man has solved the AGW problem by thinking outside the box.

If an island can capsize, for whatever reason, that implies that it is floating. If it’s floating, then:

1) As the water level rises, the island rises with it. Honolulu is safe!

2) If the temp gets too warm, we can just hook up a tug boat and move it to a cooler spot.

I suggest Mr. Johnson be given command of a crack scientific unit to explore whether or not continents are also floating. If so, we’ve solved the global warming problem.

BobMbx on April 1, 2010 at 1:33 AM

You may also remember Johnson as the man who beat Cynthia McKinney

It must concern her that she lost to this guy. If it were me, I’d have to self-terminate.

“Say what? You lost to Mr. Capsized Island?”

BobMbx on April 1, 2010 at 1:38 AM

Don’t Congressmen have to pass the Wunderlick exam before swearing in? Or is that NFL draftees? I can’t recall.

Froggy on April 1, 2010 at 1:41 AM

The scariest part of this is that Johnson will be re-elected in November. He will be re-elected because the Dems will protect him by not having a primary in his district. So he will be the only Democrat on the ballot. When his liberal constituency is faced with voting for a Republican or Mr. Guam will capsize, They will send him back to Congress.

Hawthorne on April 1, 2010 at 1:42 AM

Okay, I’m all for Democrat bashing. All for it.

But the fact that the guy has a real mental illness makes this a bit understandable. If we beat up on him too much over this, there will be a backlash from mental illness advocates.

Just saying.

ericdondero on March 31, 2010 at 10:17 PM

So, you are OK with a person who has a mental illness being one of the most powerful people in the country and making decisions that will affect your life? Would you let this man wire your house? Would you want to share the road with him? Would you let him operate heavy equipment near you? Then why in the world do you think it is OK to defend him as a congressman?

AZfederalist on April 1, 2010 at 1:48 AM

Wowsers. Remove this guy from office and get him some help, stat.

That clip is hilarious, but the more I think about it the funnier it ain’t. Either he’s a complete moron or he’s mentally incompetent to be in Congress. Get him outta there.

Well-Armed Lamb on April 1, 2010 at 1:53 AM

A Facebook page already on top of this near-tragedy that only we can stop!

http://www.facebook.com/group.php?v=wall&ref=search&gid=109820762375918

shaner5000 on April 1, 2010 at 2:11 AM

Even so, go easy on him.

On the day he’s no longer got influence over my life and my country, sure, no problem. Until then, bah ha ha ha ha ha!!

Ronnie on April 1, 2010 at 2:13 AM

Honestly, I couldn’t care less about some stupid dem with hep-C; next you’ll be apologizing for Obama if he contracts syphillis and starts babbling like a drunken sailor at State of the Union addresses about Jews stealing his dreams at night. If he’s so sick, get his ineffective, incompetent, deranged, brain damaged, fatal disease carrying ass out of Congress and replace him with a Conservative. Funny how he wasn’t too sick to crap talk Wilson, though. But hey, if he’s removed, he’ll still have great medical benefits.

Virus-X on April 1, 2010 at 2:19 AM

Biden with a tan.

the_nile on April 1, 2010 at 2:34 AM

Wonder what Pelosi promised him in exchange for his healthcare vote.

disa on April 1, 2010 at 1:15 AM

The same she promised all the dems who voted yes—-
—NOT to flash them again

macncheez on April 1, 2010 at 3:18 AM

Obviously, the Congressional health care system is not working for Hank.
Jesus, Mary and Joseph … get the man some methylphenidate .. Ritalin.

J_Crater on April 1, 2010 at 3:19 AM

Why is this man’s main concern Guam??!?
New York should be our immediate priority. Manhattan Island has over 1.5M people and is only about 23 sq. miles. It’s gonna’ go any day now!!!

Apparently this was identified as a problem way back in the 1820′s.

gregbert on April 1, 2010 at 5:25 AM

Most ethical congress ever. Yeah, right. If this guy were a Republican, he’d be out of there.

hepcat on April 1, 2010 at 6:03 AM

Pelosi: “If you don’t vote for Obamacare, Guam will flip over and thousands of Guamians will lose their life. And it will be your fault.

hepcat on April 1, 2010 at 6:05 AM

Congressman don,t worry i just spoke to the tooth fairy and he told me that he along with the Easter Bunny,Jack frost,Superman,Batman and others are aware of the problem and all will go to Guam grab hold of the leaning side to prevent Guam from tipping over.So Congressman you now can rest at ease and work on more important things like Calf.not breaking off because of all the new people moving there.

thmcbb on April 1, 2010 at 6:23 AM

He’s been watching too much LOST.

Alden Pyle on April 1, 2010 at 6:44 AM

The reason this guy is in office, collecting his biggest paycheck possible, is for the state of the art health care that only congress critters get.

tim c on April 1, 2010 at 6:59 AM

Just remember he is a representative and as such he is a perfect representative of the people in his district. Yes they vote, and none of them ever got past the letter “D” in the alphabet.

Just A Grunt on April 1, 2010 at 7:06 AM

Don’t laugh; it ain’t like you got a 100 mill in earmarks and ninety grand cash in the freezer.

Doorgunner on April 1, 2010 at 7:32 AM

Whut’s the problem?

All that’s needed is, more lifeboats.

franksalterego on April 1, 2010 at 7:44 AM

All that’s needed is, more lifeboats.

franksalterego on April 1, 2010 at 7:44 AM

or outriggers for stablilty.

highhopes on April 1, 2010 at 8:02 AM

This qualifies as too dumb to know how dumb he is.

tarpon on April 1, 2010 at 8:04 AM

This man had input into the ObamaCare bill.

Shudder.

angryed on April 1, 2010 at 8:09 AM

The least widest part of the island huh Congressman?

Oh you mean like the narrowest part?

angryed on April 1, 2010 at 8:11 AM

This man had input into the ObamaCare bill.

Shudder.

angryed on April 1, 2010 at 8:09 AM

I’m more concerned that this man is not institutionalized for his own safety. Kudos for the Admiral for not asking Johnson if he was insane.

highhopes on April 1, 2010 at 8:14 AM

WTH???

Just WTH?? Can we rescind whoever gave this guy a diploma, anywhere?

skatz51 on April 1, 2010 at 8:20 AM

We could deem him gone. It’s easy.

BetseyRoss on April 1, 2010 at 8:28 AM

Obviously this man has never ridden in a canoe.

Everything will be fine if everybody stays in the middle and sits down!

cntrlfrk on April 1, 2010 at 8:29 AM

NOTE: I haven’t watched the video but I will be very happy to advise him that Guam will not “tip over”. Puerto Rico is.

INSTRUCTIONS:

1-Book a flight to San Juan, SJU.
2-Stay at any hotel near the area, preferably in Isla Verde area which are the fanciest.
3-RENT A CAR!! LMAO!!!
4-Follow the stupid map to the mall called Plaza Las Américas (and make sure to get on same road and NOT take the toll bridge, that’s cheating, and it’s too expensive!)
5-Make sure you leave at 3 pm. Why? I have not figured that out and I lived there. Better yet, get on Rt. 22 at 3 pm and heading south.
6-Drive to the mall called Plaza Las Américas. Good luck finding a parking spot! And don’t cheat with “valet”.
7-Walk the whole mall, shop ’till you drop and get all that crap in the car.
8-Drive towards Old San Juan, yep; right after the mall.
9-Inhale the sweet smell of smoke, and be patient. Sooner or later someone WILL give up and let people go. See, we don’t necessarily take turns. Nor put signal lights. What for? If people know where you will turn, they will take advantage of your plans ahead and somehow make your life impossible (sometimes) by cutting you off.
10-Find a parking spot. Good luck! I know my way around and it’s hard for us. OSJ residents get first priority.
11-Find your way back to the hotel. Fun times! Oh and make sure if it’s past 11:30 pm, to NOT stop at a red traffic light.
12-You will realize when you look at PR basic info (length, width, population) that you will wonder in amazement how 4 MILLION PLUS people live there. That if we were a State Of The Union, PR would get about 6 seats in DC.
13-You will shut your trap and faint in your sheer ignorance of US Territories.

ProudPalinFan on April 1, 2010 at 8:29 AM

Maybe it was a badly phrased joke?
Does this Congress have a laugh track along with the teleprompters?

RobCon on April 1, 2010 at 8:30 AM

“Even so, go easy on him.” AP

Why?

Would you be comfortable with this guy running a crane near your home? How about driving a garbage truck? Heck, would you be comfortable sharing a bicycle path with this guy?

“All of those are about physical abilities, his job isn’t like that”, you say? Ok, would you be comfortable with this gent running GE? How about something smaller, Conn Ed? Still too big, how about a gas station, in BFE, with 20 customers a day?

Folks who are showing this much, hell even a good bit less than this, impairment have no business being in a position of power or responsibility.

Nathan_OH on April 1, 2010 at 8:31 AM

The best part is watching the Admiral wipe the tears of laughter from his eyes as he pretends to take this fool seriously.

Disturb the Universe on April 1, 2010 at 8:39 AM

You people, listen to him! Don’t you know this is what caused Haiti’s earthquake? Too many people made it start to tip!

itsnotaboutme on April 1, 2010 at 8:43 AM

From The Hill, which can’t resist the snark:

Like other islands, Guam is attached to the sea floor, which makes it extremely unlikely that it will tip over, even if there are lots and lots of people on it.

amerpundit on March 31, 2010 at 10:14 PM

Please please tell me that’s a joke. Choking on water here.

ProudPalinFan on April 1, 2010 at 8:45 AM

Everything will be fine if everybody stays in the middle and sits down!

cntrlfrk on April 1, 2010 at 8:29 AM

Conversely, think of the really cool tsunami that Guam could make if everybody on the island ran back and forth from one side to the other!

highhopes on April 1, 2010 at 8:45 AM

“I am weaker than I ever have been,” Johnson, 55, said in his Capitol Hill office.

He’s only 55? That disease is taking its toll on more than just his mind.

Dude, retire.

Disturb the Universe on April 1, 2010 at 8:50 AM

But the fact that the guy has a real mental illness makes this a bit understandable. If we beat up on him too much over this, there will be a backlash from mental illness advocates.

What kind of sick freak advocates for mental illness?

This guy’s a moron. He may be a moron because he’s ill, but he’s still a moron. What does it say about the voters in his district that they’ve sent a sick freak like McKinney and an ill man like this to Congress?

Crawford on April 1, 2010 at 8:57 AM

The Peoples’ Representative 100%

And a Trillion dollars in Welfare payments since 1965 isn’t enough?

Hey LBJ…..thanks for the “Great Society”!

PappyD61 on April 1, 2010 at 8:57 AM

LOL. Check out his wikipedia page…

Guam

He thinks Guam is a flotation device. [21]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hank_Johnson

TheBlueSite on April 1, 2010 at 8:58 AM

I’ve taken care of a lot of guys with this. When the liver can’t keep up clearing out waste from the blood, levels of toxins rise and make people act just like this.

mikeyboss on March 31, 2010 at 11:00 PM

Ok, but tell me this. This isn’t some homeless guy on the sidewalk. He has access to the best healthcare in the country. I suspect treatment could easily keep any toxins under control. Why is he like this at a hearing?

AUINSC on March 31, 2010 at 11:07 PM

Maybe he is really a homeless guy that was on the sidewalk with cirrhosis and he was put there. I’ve seen men with that condition. And they still find a way to get drunk.

I have had so much fun reading your comments, I can be heard laughing all over the house! Guamites, UNITE!

ProudPalinFan on April 1, 2010 at 9:02 AM

If my legs were any shorter they wouldn’t reach the ground.

Akzed on April 1, 2010 at 9:03 AM

Seems the video is good but I haven’t seen it yet. The way y’all describe it is if it was an AFV video worth winning $100K.

ProudPalinFan on April 1, 2010 at 9:04 AM

Mike Gallagher is having a ball with this!!! LOL

ladyingray on April 1, 2010 at 9:14 AM

He earns $174,000 a year. How much do you make? That’s $83.66 an hour, for a forty hour week.

ladyingray on April 1, 2010 at 9:15 AM

This man is obviously a puppet of Charles Widmore.

Scott P on April 1, 2010 at 9:17 AM

I’ve taken care of a lot of guys with this. When the liver can’t keep up clearing out waste from the blood, levels of toxins rise and make people act just like this.

mikeyboss on March 31, 2010 at 11:00 PM

I think the question is should a person with this issue be a US Congressman? His votes affect me!

ladyingray on April 1, 2010 at 9:19 AM

Yikes…

MechEng5by5 on April 1, 2010 at 9:22 AM

Truly scary because Hank Johnson is one of the smarter Dems.

BottomLine5 on April 1, 2010 at 9:23 AM

This is Obama in thirty years: A dottering old fool still yammering about global warmin’, healthcare reform (long since repealed), and the way them Joos are destroyin’ Palestine.

EMD on April 1, 2010 at 9:24 AM

Silly Congressman!!
Everyone knows Guam won’t tip over– it’ll sink
(with or without the help of AGW)

gstep58 on April 1, 2010 at 9:31 AM

Send his conservative opponent Liz Carter $10 if you think Hank needs to retire for his health.

Animator Girl on April 1, 2010 at 10:05 AM

So how is this brain impaired Democrat any different from other Democrats in Congress?

rplat on April 1, 2010 at 10:09 AM

Best April Fools day prank I’ve seen so far. He “punked” that Admiral!

MHoffpauir on April 1, 2010 at 10:15 AM

It’s good that no body told him about the air valve at the end of Guam. After all somebody could open it and deflate the whole island.

Wills on April 1, 2010 at 10:17 AM

Everybody knows that as long as you distribute the people evenly it won’t tip over. In fact, the weight of more people will make Guam more stable in rough seas

Not true! The Great Turtle upon which all the Earth rests shall summon the Giant Catfish Demigods at the bottom of the sea to prop up Guam on their backs and transport the island to safety, but only after a virgin has been sacrificed by the light of a full moon.

sawbuck on April 1, 2010 at 1:05 AM

Well, is a good idea. But where we are going to find the virgin? Perhaps in the ranks of Code Pink?

:)

El Coqui on April 1, 2010 at 10:30 AM

Now people will not roll there eyes at me when i say .If these congressmen are voted out they would starve they could not get a job at Mickey D,s because they could not even make change and this is one of the learned people that voted on Obamacare .PS congressman not to worry .The navy will put 2 subs on the tipping side which should keep Guam afloat.My GOD we are living in the twilight zone wake me when it,s over

thmcbb on April 1, 2010 at 10:33 AM

It must concern her that she lost to this guy. If it were me, I’d have to self-terminate.

“Say what? You lost to Mr. Capsized Island?”

BobMbx on April 1, 2010 at 1:38 AM

You’ve never had the pleasure of listening to Ms. Mckinney? It’s a treat. This guy is a genius next to her.

katy the mean old lady on April 1, 2010 at 10:34 AM

Seems the video is good but I haven’t seen it yet. The way y’all describe it is if it was an AFV video worth winning $100K.

ProudPalinFan on April 1, 2010 at 9:04 AM

See it. Priceless! I had to put it on Facebook.

katy the mean old lady on April 1, 2010 at 10:37 AM

I can forgive the seriously ill Hank Johnson for slow word retrieval, and math fails… but an island larger than Manhattan capsizing b/c of the weight of an influx of 8000 inhabitants?

Shouldn’t he be considering resignation from his seat for the “good and plenty” of the nation (or whatever that clause in the consitution is?)

That is a man who can’t think straight, period. Why hasn’t his doctor sat him down and given him the bad news about his mental processes?

SarahW on April 1, 2010 at 10:39 AM

This is racist! He thinks those of Phillipine descent are TOO STUPID to figure out how to balance their own island. /s

thanks for the best April Fool

barnone on April 1, 2010 at 10:40 AM

Al Gore at Montecello: “And who is this guy>”

Tour Guide: “Uh, that’s Thomas Jefferson, sir.”

——————————————————

Bill Klinton at the Korean DMZ: “Hey, these binos don’t work.”

Soldier: “You have to remove the lens cap, sir.”

Tony737 on March 31, 2010 at 10:47 PM

Sheila Jackson Lee – During a 2005 visit to the Jet Propulsion Laboratory in California, Lee asked whether the Mars Pathfinder had taken an image of the flag planted on Mars by Neil Armstrong in 1969.

RadClown on April 1, 2010 at 10:43 AM

but he’s also a guy with a serious illness that affects his mind

How does Hepatitis C affect a person’s mind? It destroys your liver, not your brain.

But, even supposing it could somehow affect his mind in ways that would make him lose track of his thoughts, it’s very obvious throughout this entire video that he was preparing himself for the “capsize” comment. Very meticulous about wanting to illustrate the size of the island to make a point (in his mind) about how it’s going to capsize.

Bottom line is this guy has no business being in a position of power to vote on something as important as legislation that is going to affect every American.

Seriously, most people learned islands were not floating in the water before they ever got to 6th grade. What’s really scary is people in Georgia will most likely vote him right back into office due to the gerrymandering of his district.

ButterflyDragon on April 1, 2010 at 10:48 AM

vs Dems in general, he’s average.

vs Dems in Congress, he’s above average

vs Pelosi, he’a a genius

notagool on April 1, 2010 at 10:49 AM

I won’t make fun of him because of Hep. C.
But for the love of God get him medical help and get him to resign due to his health!

Little Boomer on April 1, 2010 at 10:52 AM

OT…

HotAir made the front page of Digg with this article…yeah, I know…Digg!

Kudos!

JetBoy on April 1, 2010 at 10:56 AM

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