Newest cause of global warming: Cocaine
posted at 9:39 pm on March 15, 2010 by Allahpundit
Via Weasel Zippers. My read on most “X causes global warming” stories is that X is an activity which the left frowns upon and which they’d like, if at all possible, to reduce through regulation.
I’m now rethinking that theory.
[British] MPs on the home affairs select committee said the drug was devastating Colombian rainforests because trees are knocked down to grow coca plants.
Group chairman Keith Vaz said: “We were horrified to learn for every few lines of cocaine snorted in a London club, four square metres of rainforest is destroyed.”
Un Office on Drugs and Crime chief Antonio Maria Costa added: “Europeans know they shouldn’t buy blood diamonds or clothes made by slaves in sweatshops.
“Yet with cocaine the opposite occurs. Worse still, models who wouldn’t dare to wear a tiger fur coat show no qualms about flaunting their cocaine use.”
Isn’t cocaine an appetite suppressant? More coke consumed means less food consumed, which means less industry needed to turn animals into food, which means … less carbon emitted. The IPCC should be able to put together some models comparing total emissions generated by a chubby, drug-free population to those generated by a lean, mean, coke-snorting public machine. Plus, don’t forget the population-control factor. Hardcore environmentalists always turn their thoughts eventually to ways to thin the damnable herd. Will cokehead overdoses produce more deaths than heart attacks caused by obesity? Will they perhaps produce earlier deaths, which will carry the added “bonus” of weeding people out before they can reproduce? We need to know these numbers, my friends. Cocaine may be the key to sustainability.
Blowback
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Ah, yes. Columbian Marching Powder. Is there nothing it can’t do?
John the Libertarian on March 15, 2010 at 9:42 PM
I absolutely hated cocaine when I tried it years ago. It made me feel edgy and agitated.
OmahaConservative on March 15, 2010 at 9:43 PM
Didn’t it come out in one of 0′s books that he used cocaine and maryjane in college? Who would of thought he was a global warming offender…
:rolls eyes:
Tuari on March 15, 2010 at 9:44 PM
Cocaine = Global Warming = Global Cooling = Climate Change = Anything they want it to mean.
Reality Checker on March 15, 2010 at 9:44 PM
So when they created crack cocaine, the CIA wasn’t just destroying minority communities, they were helping to bring about a global apocalypse.
Another victory for the forces of darkness!
RINO in Name Only on March 15, 2010 at 9:45 PM
its not like they are building parking lots where the rain forest was, they are just replacing one plant with another right?…
trailortrash on March 15, 2010 at 9:46 PM
Ah, more dogma from the church of global warming!
clement on March 15, 2010 at 9:46 PM
I believe it was Billy Cosby who once said, “My friend tells me cocaine intensifies your personality. So I said, ‘Great, but what if you’re an asshole?’”
Potfry on March 15, 2010 at 9:47 PM
First it was steaks and bacon, then puppies and kittens, now it’s blow. That’s the last straw….
GnuBreed on March 15, 2010 at 9:47 PM
I’ve got a hangnail. Bet it’s somehow tied to Global Warming!
Checkbook won’t balance? Global Warming! Ants on the patio? Global Warming! Fight with the spouse? Global Warming!
IT’S POWERFUL STUFF!
GarandFan on March 15, 2010 at 9:47 PM
Are you back again? Thought you got sent to the woodshed several threads ago.
OmahaConservative on March 15, 2010 at 9:48 PM
Your nose makes the world get warm?
darii on March 15, 2010 at 9:48 PM
The President won’t allow cocaine to be regulated by the EPA.
Denverslim on March 15, 2010 at 9:48 PM
.
fiksd
ronsfi on March 15, 2010 at 9:48 PM
Don’t hide it…
… divide it!
Seven Percent Solution on March 15, 2010 at 9:49 PM
So Obama caused global warming.
lavell12 on March 15, 2010 at 9:50 PM
Anything to drum up a few million more of OUR money for “studies”.
Over the years, we’ve “studied” enough crap to be smarter than Einstein…But we can’t even cure the common cold.
GoldenEagle4444 on March 15, 2010 at 9:54 PM
Well, you can flip this around too…it’s one way to get lefties to become deniers.
AUINSC on March 15, 2010 at 9:55 PM
X = Cutting down Rain Forest.
MirCat on March 15, 2010 at 9:56 PM
reminds me of a movie, as do most things…. one of my faves–Pulp Fiction.
ted c on March 15, 2010 at 9:56 PM
Maybe the greenies will turn all their efforts on suppressing the cocaine trade instead of Co2. Now wouldn’t that be nice! They’d be doing some good for once.
…but then again, how willing would they really be to go after their fellow druggies?
Dark-Star on March 15, 2010 at 9:57 PM
I really don’t like Johnny Depp, but Blow did a helluva good job talking about the coke trade in the 70′s and 80′s.
ted c on March 15, 2010 at 10:00 PM
I hear Mexico is having a little trouble with this “drug war” thingy…
… Maybe this will help to finish the fence?
Who knew?
Seven Percent Solution on March 15, 2010 at 10:02 PM
Waxman would probably say, “Second look at Coke?”….he’s already trying to thin the herd via abortion. All that he’d have to do is legalize Coke, slap a fat ol’ tax on it, and kill two birds with one stone—generate a revenue stream, and kill off a few cokeheads that he wouldn’t have to provide healthcare to in the next few years.
Liberal genius.
ted c on March 15, 2010 at 10:02 PM
The subject in the photo looks barely 13.
thomasaur on March 15, 2010 at 10:03 PM
Mexican drug cartels are clearing up patches inside our national / state forests all over the west coast to grow pot. But I’ve never heard Sierra club complain about it. In fact the moment such a “farm” is busted, the lefty loons line up to call it ‘racial profiling’ and ‘anti-immigrant’ raids !! But they don’t mind cutting off water to the farmers of Central valley who grow food.
macncheez on March 15, 2010 at 10:03 PM
No, there’s no trouble at all. They’ve instituted a big ol’ restrictive gun ban down there—so the war is no problem. All the guys who need guns to thwack US consulate workers have them, and all the peeps who could use them to protect themselves, really don’t. So, no es una problema mi amigo.
/vicente
ted c on March 15, 2010 at 10:04 PM
more proof AGW has run it’s course – the govt is now saying coke causes global warming. desperate times call for desperate measures.
hotdax on March 15, 2010 at 10:05 PM
some coke thread tunes fo ya.
-EC
ted c on March 15, 2010 at 10:07 PM
The only time cocaine had anything to do with warming, it involved Richard Pryor.
Emperor Norton on March 15, 2010 at 10:09 PM
I wonder how ol’ chavez would feel about this.
BTW, if you want to read a good book about the really violent days in Colombia wrt the cocaine trade–read “Killing Pablo” by Mark Bowden (Black Hawk Down).
You’ll then understand why it is so damn difficult to find UBL and Zawahiri.
ted c on March 15, 2010 at 10:10 PM
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Killing_Pablo_(film)
Movie about Pablo Escobar due out next year (news to me) based on the book by Bowden.
ted c on March 15, 2010 at 10:11 PM
Wait ’til they find out they’re really, really gullible.
Pablo on March 15, 2010 at 10:13 PM
The polar bears are screwed. Progressives will never ban cocaine, their essential clutch.
bayview on March 15, 2010 at 10:14 PM
Maybe Matt Damon can resurrect his career by making “Scar Face II”…
Seven Percent Solution on March 15, 2010 at 10:14 PM
I blame Miami Vice.
madmonkphotog on March 15, 2010 at 10:15 PM
I’m sure the same look of utter horror crosses their faces that crossed my brothers face when I told him that every time he spanked the monkey, a little kitten would bite the dust. :0
ted c on March 15, 2010 at 10:16 PM
Cocaine doesn’t effect my world. I have never even seen it.
TXMomof3 on March 15, 2010 at 10:16 PM
Conundrum for the legalizers: Make it easier to harm Mother Gaia or not.
Bishop on March 15, 2010 at 10:18 PM
We purchased offsets for all production from my cartel. The Medellin Cartel is not a faceless multinational conglomerate that pursues profit maximization to the exclusion of all else. We are, at heart, a family-run company. I could never let my cousin snort a line of my high quality coke knowing that Bambi’s home was destroyed in order to produce it. Likewise, generic model at a London club, I could never provide you coke that was produced in an environmentally unsustainable manner.
Sincerely,
Pablo Escobar
CEO Medellin Cartel (Ret.)
P.S. Dude, you shouldn’t have sent the US military to kill me. That was really messed up.
Contributor X on March 15, 2010 at 10:20 PM
Congress hardest hit?
SouthernGent on March 15, 2010 at 10:21 PM
I wouldn’t be surprised if cocaine influenced the judgments of the morons who promoted global warming.
BottomLine5 on March 15, 2010 at 10:24 PM
If a report came out that Liberals caused global warming then just sit back and enjoy the mass suicides.
MaiDee on March 15, 2010 at 10:25 PM
let’s see if we can square this circle….Coke is a product…it’s in high demand….people get rich off its sale and it exploits the poor….the money goes somewhere else and big daddy govmint ain’t be gettin no tax money off of it ‘cept when he runs down a speedboat….I got it! It’s a capitalist pig crime to produce that stuff because it causes global warming and hence, it must be destroyed because if it ain’t making The Church of AGW any coinage, then it’s contributing to the corruption of Gaia, and killing polar bears.
Whew, just don’t send that out on email. Might get philly jones or mikey mann in deeper trouble.
ted c on March 15, 2010 at 10:28 PM
I just contributed to global warming; Whew! Gotta go for a walk.
Cybergeezer on March 15, 2010 at 10:29 PM
Come here mama,
Come here quick.
This cocaine
Gonna make me sick.
COCAINE
’round my brain.
manwithblackhat on March 15, 2010 at 10:29 PM
Details, nitpicking don’t matter. All we need to know is the same people who want to ban tobacco are the same who want pot and coke legalized. And, logically and eventually, heroin.
And they all vote Democrat.
Liam on March 15, 2010 at 10:31 PM
Now we have to convince them that Tempera and oil paints contribute to AGW also—the NEA would lose half its members…
ted c on March 15, 2010 at 10:33 PM
iPods….cause AGW…
and if Coke causes AGW, then Coffee sure as hell does—-them coffee parties, shut em down now Ms. Park.
ted c on March 15, 2010 at 10:35 PM
Or:
If you wanna hang out,
You better take her out
Cocaine
Bigfoot on March 15, 2010 at 10:51 PM
But not ethanol. Noooooo…
chunderroad on March 15, 2010 at 10:54 PM
Next it’ll be hookers.
Ray Flicker on March 15, 2010 at 11:06 PM
+550 ….. 551, 552, 553, hey got any more???
I am spending my year going gray… anything that causes global warming I am for it and I am doing it. My goal is to use more carbon than Al Gore and not buy a single carbon credit. Today I threw away 3 tin cans that I used to recycle. As each can hit the can I shouted “Take that Al Gore, Lindsey Graham, John McCain” It feels sooo good..
Does this mean I can take up drugs again???? So now I can smoke (more carbon that way!!) some coke and scream at Gore and friends while running around my living room.. hmmmm.
kringeesmom on March 15, 2010 at 11:20 PM
‘Will cokehead overdoses produce more deaths than heart attacks caused by obesity?’
Fine printer — Cocaine isn’t necessarily a heart medication.
Lidocaine, on the other hand is commonly used to control (sedate) heart arythmia AND is frequently used to cut (dilute) cocaine with.
Lidocaine is also very good at numbing tissue — hence it’s common use in the dental office. However, lidocaine doesn’t have any of cocaine’s euphoric effects, or there would probably be a line around the block into the average dental office.
Mixed together, they may boost each other’s effects, including heart sedative effects of lidocaine. It’s not one of those things one can do science on for ethical reasons.
In short, a lot of cocaine ODs are probably related to it being cut with lidocaine or other illegal drugs.
drfredc on March 15, 2010 at 11:24 PM
*blink*
AnninCA on March 15, 2010 at 11:51 PM
Cocaine’s for horses, not for men
They say it’s gonna kill me, but they won’t say when
Cocaine
Runnin’ all ’round my brain
With apologies to the late great Dave Van Ronk
JohnGalt23 on March 16, 2010 at 12:02 AM
Lefties will believe anything but the truth.
Slowburn on March 16, 2010 at 12:06 AM
Now we know why Obama is so bent on stopping global warming. It’s guilt. He wants to make up for all those years of crack smoking.
Daggett on March 16, 2010 at 12:19 AM
Charlie Murphy!
russcote on March 16, 2010 at 12:33 AM
Cocaine is a plant, it consumes CO2 and produces oxygen. How can a plant be “anti-green”? I think they have gone full circle now.
Dollayo on March 16, 2010 at 2:09 AM
Hey! This means I get to post one of my favorite satire videos!
The SwiftKids for Truth go up Obama’s nose, this time in the search for truth
OxyCon on March 16, 2010 at 2:26 AM
Obama never had problem with that..
the_nile on March 16, 2010 at 4:23 AM
MP Vaz needs tutoring in geography and agriculture.
katy the mean old lady on March 16, 2010 at 7:18 AM
Meatless Monday was bad enough. Now coke free Tuesday? Is there no end to the sacrifices we must endure to save Mother Earth?
mwdiver on March 16, 2010 at 7:43 AM
This puts the filthy lying coward in the White House into a quandry. Do you blame Bush or Global warming for the incompetence of the current administration?
highhopes on March 16, 2010 at 7:46 AM
Just so we don’t get to toilet-paper free Thursdays.
highhopes on March 16, 2010 at 7:47 AM
I read on Drudge today that Al Gore was saying nutty things like snow storms and blizzards were consistent with man-caused CO2 global warming. But I didn’t know Al Gore was a coke addict. That would explain it though.
tarpon on March 16, 2010 at 8:10 AM
That was Robin Williams.
NavyspyII on March 16, 2010 at 8:50 AM
Shhhhhhhhh…..
……don’t tell Algore….
http://www.forbes.com/forbes/2010/0329/outfront-oxxy-irani-oil-exxon-energy-oil-oil-everywhere.html?boxes=Homepagelighttop
PappyD61 on March 16, 2010 at 8:52 AM
So does this mean Hollywood will suddenly change it’s mind on global warming?
jeffn21 on March 16, 2010 at 9:11 AM
“Autoprotect has detected Trojan.Malscript!html” at one of these links.
Kralizec on March 16, 2010 at 9:23 AM
Cocaine it’s a helluva drug…SMILE
Dr Evil on March 16, 2010 at 9:57 AM
Cocaine causes global warming?
How about drugs in general?
Hey, they’re certainly heating things up in Mexico …
RedPepper on March 16, 2010 at 11:44 AM
Who’s gonna tell Sean Penn?
bloggless on March 16, 2010 at 11:53 AM
Is the soil on existing fields so poor that it can’t sustain more than one crop cycle? Or do eradication efforts require the constant relocation of the crop?
RD on March 16, 2010 at 11:56 AM
No, I know it looks that way; but it’s just the drugs messing with your minds… the walls really aren’t melting either.
Oh wait, these are climate scientists? Well lets just use their drug-addled hallucinations as facts; that’s bound to be better science than what they’ve been doing.
gekkobear on March 16, 2010 at 12:32 PM
Let’s see…
Amazon rain-forest – how many square miles of impenetrable “green hell”? 1,583,000 or thereabouts…
At 1 Meter = 0.000621371192237334 Miles…
And 4 square meters per line, that comes to…
PAR-TAY!!
mojo on March 16, 2010 at 5:15 PM