Oil-rich Venezuela can’t keep the lights lit

It’s been a while since we last visited the Bolivarian Workers Paradise of Venezuela, where “the pluck of a harp on the radio” means Big Brother Dear Leader Hugo Chavez is about to address the nation.  However, in order to hear Hugo, one needs to have power for the radio, and that has become a big problem for Chavez.  Despite having massive oil resources, Chavez has relied mainly on hydroelectric generation for the nation’s power — and now faces a critical shortage of electricity, thanks to a drought:

President Hugo Chavez inaugurated a folksy new radio talk-show on Monday by declaring an “electricity emergency” in oil-rich Venezuela.

Despite its huge crude reserves, the South American OPEC member relies on hydro-electricity for 70 percent of its power needs, and a drought has hit supply since late 2009.

“We are ready to decree the electricity emergency, because it really is an emergency,” Chavez said in the first edition of a show on state radio air waves called “Suddenly Chavez.”

With electricity cuts weighing on Chavez’s popularity ahead of important legislative elections in September, the government blames the shortages on the drought and soaring demand during five years of economic growth until 2008.

But critics say poor management and under-investment have undermined the power grid and exposed the failings of Chavez’s “21st century socialism” policies during his 11-year rule.

“Suddenly Chavez” broadcasts whenever Chavez feels like talking, which is why Venezuelans have been instructed to listen for the harp music.  This comes in addition to his “Hello Mr. President” television show, which usually lasts for hours each day.  Rumor has it that Chavez will shortly launch his own “Law and Order: Caracas” edition of the franchise, too.  No, I’m kidding about that, of course; Chavez would be more likely to start a celebrity reality channel with 24/7 coverage of himself, a sort of “Truman Show” without the charm, humor, or intelligence.  Maybe he’ll call it the I Smell Sulfur Channel, available only when people can actually turn on their television sets.

That won’t be any time soon.  Chavez has called for Venezuelans to turn off the lights, while he mulls an emergency decree that will allow him to seed the clouds and produce rain.  He will also likely impose rationing rather than rely on voluntary compliance, as little in this regime has been left to the latter.

Chavez still exports his crude oil, a necessity for his survival as it generates the majority of Venezuela’s GDP.  The oil facilities have their own generators, which means that the export business will remain relatively unaffected.  However, the standard of living will continue to slide for Venezuelans, who may finally decide that they’ve had enough of Fidel Castro’s Mini-Me, strip him of his power, and reclaim their own.  For the moment, however, Chavez’ ubiquity on Venezuelan broadcasts and the lack of power to the people provide a perfect picture of the strutting, sawdust Caesar* of Latin America.

* – Not an original phrase; William Shirer used it to describe Benito Mussolini in his seminal The Rise and Fall of the Third Reich.

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