Video: Unmarried teen dad inexplicably now a corporate pitchman
posted at 4:23 pm on October 5, 2009 by Allahpundit
Funny thing: Just this morning, I was skimming the headlines at People and thinking Jon Gosselin must surely be the seediest no-name D-bag “celebrity” on the American landscape.
But I was wrong, wasn’t I?
I want to call this tool a Federline for our age, but even that doesn’t quite work because K-Fed was, at least, a celebrity spouse. That is to say, Johnston’s actually a step down on the “accomplishment” scale from Kevin Federline. But of course, that’s the point of the ad: As you’ll see from the second clip, he’s not the only attractive imbecile who stumbled into his Z-list celebrity status to be featured in this campaign.
Blowback
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I think Palin doesn’t need the media circus that will come from that. Most of this stuff is her daughter’s fault and she should be shamed for it.
TimeTraveler on October 5, 2009 at 5:18 PM
Levi the Loooooooooooosah!
capejasmine on October 5, 2009 at 5:19 PM
I don’t know… Britney Spears is a nutjob, but I have a tiny bit of respect for someone who got Bristol Palin to play “Wake the Neighbors”.
RightWinged on October 5, 2009 at 5:20 PM
Terry_Dyne on October 5, 2009 at 5:23 PM
The birth of one’s grandchild should never bring shame. The circumstances leading up to to their birth while it may be disappointing being ashamed is too pious for me to agree with you.
thomasaur on October 5, 2009 at 5:23 PM
TimeTraveler…
And I suppose you have zero skeletons in your closet or family?
And why should her daughter be ‘shamed’ for this? Honestly, how many teen girls fall in ‘love’ with a guy before they wake up and smell the dirt bag?
Bristol should not be ‘shamed’ for what this dirt bag is doing, post relationship.
Gothguy on October 5, 2009 at 5:25 PM
Bristol should file for support payments. and make this tool pay for his child.
unseen on October 5, 2009 at 5:25 PM
Say what you will about Saddam Hussein, he knew how to keep son-in-laws in line.
RobCon on October 5, 2009 at 5:26 PM
God how I would love for Todd Palin to just kick the living crap out of this douche nozzle and leave him for dead along the Iditarod Trail. Tool
Flyboy on October 5, 2009 at 5:27 PM
Most?
Maybe at best 50/50.
Unless you and noted criminologist W. Goldberg think Bristol was guilty of ‘rape rape.’
As for your contention that a teen mother who did not abort an unplanned child and is now supporting said child without financial support from the nutsucking deadbeat father should be shamed…. Well, perhaps you know more about the subject of shame than I ever hope to.
Tom_OC on October 5, 2009 at 5:30 PM
If she would’ve listened to her mother then this would have never happen. The little brat thought she knew better than her mother and look at what happen.
TimeTraveler on October 5, 2009 at 5:31 PM
Snort!
thomasaur on October 5, 2009 at 5:31 PM
News Flash….teens sometimes ignore their parent’s advice.
HornetSting on October 5, 2009 at 5:33 PM
TimeTraveler on October 5, 2009 at 5:31 PM
Nice stone you just tossed there, Scooter.
kingsjester on October 5, 2009 at 5:34 PM
That is why a parent would be disappointed in this instance. My bet is that you don’t have teenage children or you would be saying; “but for the grace of God, there go I”.
thomasaur on October 5, 2009 at 5:34 PM
Levi who?
Oh yeah, don’t forget those CHILD SUPPORT payments…
Thank you…
Khun Joe on October 5, 2009 at 5:36 PM
you have to have something more then a blow up doll. Even a monkey doesn’t count.
upinak on October 5, 2009 at 5:36 PM
Well he did get the Bette Midler endorsement maybe we will see him turning up in bath houses soon GRIN.
Dr Evil on October 5, 2009 at 5:36 PM
So did your dad.
Jim Treacher on October 5, 2009 at 5:36 PM
I really think it’s time to take the gloves off for this POS. He’s been given a pass for too long. So, he wants to make jokes about ‘gettin’ a nut this; time with protection’ at the expense of the mother of his child?
Forget that he’s setting himself up for an ass-whippin’ from Todd- or better yet- his own son in about eighteen years.
No, no, no. Say it with me people:
HEY LEVI! IS THAT YOUR SKEEVY, SKANK-ASS, METH-HO MOMMA’S PIMP?
Doorgunner on October 5, 2009 at 5:37 PM
You’re right, I believe the ACTUAL title is “Who’s Nailin’ Palin”. Thanks for the heads-up Tomoc.
Good4Onan on October 5, 2009 at 5:37 PM
Huh?
thomasaur on October 5, 2009 at 5:37 PM
Jim Treacher on October 5, 2009 at 5:36 PM
Well crafted.
What’s next, “I know you are but what am I”?
Good4Onan on October 5, 2009 at 5:39 PM
Sorry, TT. My bad.
I wasn’t aware I was in the presence of perfection and I was trying to reason with someone who could, in fact, afford to throw stones. My lesson learned.
When you’re done passing judgement could you direct a little of your attention my way and tell me how my life would’ve turned out better if I had listened to my parents a little more?
And then perhaps you could favor us with a brief dissertation about how well one responds to adversity (be it of their own creation or not) is meaningless compared to how irresponsibly they were in contributing to it?
Tom_OC on October 5, 2009 at 5:40 PM
It just saddens me that Palin was working her butt off in Juneau (4 1/2 hour plane ride from Wasilla) while this brat was fooling around and embarrassing her.
TimeTraveler on October 5, 2009 at 5:40 PM
Good4Onan on October 5, 2009 at 5:39 PM
Of course someone with your name would use Pee Wee Herman for a reference.
kingsjester on October 5, 2009 at 5:40 PM
Your bluster isn’t much of a facade.
Jim Treacher on October 5, 2009 at 5:42 PM
Youhave to have someone of the opposite sex to have sex with to produce … please don’t make me have Levi show TT how this is done. yuck.
upinak on October 5, 2009 at 5:42 PM
I think Todd beat the crap outta Levi/Sarah kicked him in his ‘nads, and THAT’S why Levi has the knives out for the family.
SilentWatcher on October 5, 2009 at 5:42 PM
safe to say that any product or service that hires this TOOL as it’s spokehole, will NEVER EVER be bought by my household and I have not problem letting them know that and I encourage all of us to do so…..
SDarchitect on October 5, 2009 at 5:42 PM
Hmmmmm. Deadbeat dad whose only real fame was gained by his failure to use a condom and to run around the country trash talking about a former VP candidate. Perfect, lets put him in a pistachio commercial. What?
scalleywag on October 5, 2009 at 5:43 PM
Thanks ever so much for that mental image.
Snowed In on October 5, 2009 at 5:43 PM
Do all Gen X and Gen Y-ers talk like valley girls?
PrincipledPilgrim on October 5, 2009 at 5:43 PM
Every one makes mistakes otherwise they wouldn’t be human they would be robots or something. Bristol Palin has a beautiful SON, and I wouldn’t refer to him as her shame.
Levi Johnston, now I would call him a big mistake, and yes it’s a shame, he gets showered with attention. But just like Pavlov’s dog, Levi Johnston knows how to perform for his kibble.
Isn’t it odd that the Sarah Palin’s detractors or attackers keep having their moral short comings exposed to the whole world. The people who believe the Palin smears do because they want to, not because they are true.
Johnston and Letterman like to exploit women. I think that’s all anyone needs to know about their opinions of the Palins.
Dr Evil on October 5, 2009 at 5:44 PM
Speaking for myself as the father of 2 grown daughters they could never have embarrassed me but they could have disappointed me. Teens rarely ever do everything we would prefer that they do.
thomasaur on October 5, 2009 at 5:45 PM
Tom_OC on October 5, 2009 at 5:40 PM
Dissertation? Can’t he simply reply in the comment box?
Good4Onan on October 5, 2009 at 5:45 PM
I would bow to your superior knowledge of porn if it held any value.
‘Learn More About Porn’ has long held a spot atop my “To Don’t” list.
Good to know how you use your time alone with the computer
Tom_OC on October 5, 2009 at 5:46 PM
Sorry that last one was for Time Traveler.
Dr Evil on October 5, 2009 at 5:47 PM
Who knows? Maybe she will make her mother proud in the future or maybe not.
TimeTraveler on October 5, 2009 at 5:48 PM
Jim Treacher on October 5, 2009 at 5:42 PM
???
Can I buy a vowel?
Good4Onan on October 5, 2009 at 5:48 PM
One of my cousins does. It’s frigging annoying.
mjk on October 5, 2009 at 5:49 PM
Did someone forget to flush?
HornetSting on October 5, 2009 at 5:50 PM
http://www.amazon.com/Going-Rogue-American-Sarah-Palin/dp/0061939897
Shameless Plug!
TimeTraveler on October 5, 2009 at 5:50 PM
Tom_OC on October 5, 2009 at 5:46 PM
Well you know how it is….a little Hot Air, a little hot and naughty librarian. Life is a banquet Tomoc, don’t starve to death and certainly don’t do anything that the clergy wouldn’t do.
Good4Onan on October 5, 2009 at 5:53 PM
I’m not sure you can afford it after getting a clue.
Jim Treacher on October 5, 2009 at 5:53 PM
That’s your line, genius. The actual next question is
“Why are you here”?
Janos Hunyadi on October 5, 2009 at 5:53 PM
HornetSting on October 5, 2009 at 5:50 PM
Hey sweetheart, I was wondering when you’d show…Wal Mart having another coupon day?
Good4Onan on October 5, 2009 at 5:55 PM
No, but I just say your mom trying to sell her wares in front of the liquor store for $5 a pounce.
HornetSting on October 5, 2009 at 5:57 PM
who is Onan…we’re not all in the know…
I’m glad that Tripp is going to get some money from daddy…just too bad it’s this way… he wouldn’t have this job if he hadn’t quit his apprenticeship program and gone on to a career trashing Sarah Plain.
CCRWM on October 5, 2009 at 5:57 PM
As ad campaigns go, this one apparently attempts to follow Talentless Marketing Rule #1: make your ad memorable, even if it must be in bad taste.
How fitting for Levi to be a part.
I think he should try to play a victim in his next film role; you know, the kind of victim who is so hopeless because his life as a teenager has already reached its zenith…what does he have left to live for?
Too bad pro-choice advocates don’t seek to abort the irresponsible daddies instead of the innocent children.
rwenger43 on October 5, 2009 at 5:57 PM
You, me and Debbie Schlussel.
BobAnthony on October 5, 2009 at 5:58 PM
This phenomenon is unique to this situation, and you have uttered a profound and insightful comment that sheds light into the righty mind!
Or maybe devolved into self-parody and projection again. One of those.
TheUnrepentantGeek on October 5, 2009 at 5:59 PM
Yeah, she needs tp to wipe the snot off your mouth after blowing levi in the epic shot of all.
So levi… when are you going to show that tape?
upinak on October 5, 2009 at 6:00 PM
CCRWM on October 5, 2009 at 5:57 PM
Onan was the second son of Judah. When God killed his brother Er, Onan was asked to sleep with his brother’s wife. He chose not to finish the act.
kingsjester on October 5, 2009 at 6:01 PM
HornetSting on October 5, 2009 at 5:57 PM
You SAY my mom?
Good for you! Keep at it, soon you’ll be up to Sam I Am and Sis the Snake.
Good4Onan on October 5, 2009 at 6:01 PM
what money? He still hasn’t paid a dime.
upinak on October 5, 2009 at 6:01 PM
Ka-Boom!
HornetSting on October 5, 2009 at 6:02 PM
kingsjester on October 5, 2009 at 6:01 PM
And a wiser man he could not be. But you’re wrong, he DID finish.
Good4Onan on October 5, 2009 at 6:02 PM
Good4Onan on October 5, 2009 at 6:02 PM
Not in the way he was asked.
kingsjester on October 5, 2009 at 6:03 PM
Alright, I SAW your mom offering $5 BJ’s in front of the liquor store.
HornetSting on October 5, 2009 at 6:03 PM
Upi…I assume that with the child upport laws being so aggressive about getting payment… he will…
“Oh” to the Onan thing…thanks
CCRWM on October 5, 2009 at 6:07 PM
HornetSting on October 5, 2009 at 6:03 PM
That’s what I love about you darling….no modesty whatsoever.
Good4Onan on October 5, 2009 at 6:08 PM
LOSER
gdonovan on October 5, 2009 at 6:09 PM
Not in the way he was asked.
kingsjester on October 5, 2009 at 6:03 PM
Yeah true, but consider the source.
Good4Onan on October 5, 2009 at 6:10 PM
….And I love my ‘Onans’ dumb as dirt.
HornetSting on October 5, 2009 at 6:10 PM
Living down to his screen name.
Jim Treacher on October 5, 2009 at 6:10 PM
The mother has to call in to the State for child support to start. “IF” Bristol actually called in, right now, can you imagine the back payments Levi would have to pay?
I am not sure as to why they haven’t started the process. It isn’t anyones business honestly. But I hope someone starts taking action on it… and soon.
upinak on October 5, 2009 at 6:11 PM
So someone in the pistachio marketing department said, “Let’s get the biggest viral losers from the internet, and we’ll make them our spokespersons. That will make people want to buy pistachios!”
I guess this is not the marketing that I though I knew.
No wait, it just occurred to me. Beyond the double entendre of cracking open some pistachio shells, the “Get Crackin’” tag line is a reference to the two losers in the clips. As in, “Hey losers, you better ‘get crackin”with your life if you want to make something of yourselves.”
So they really are making fun of Levi and the beauty queen. It’s genius I tell ya, pure genius!
/sarc
Mallard T. Drake on October 5, 2009 at 6:11 PM
HornetSting on October 5, 2009 at 6:10 PM
Just tell me what trailer park to mail the “I’m with Onan” t-shirt to. What size shirt does the Dog Catcher take?
Good4Onan on October 5, 2009 at 6:13 PM
Yeah true, but consider the source.
Good4Onan on October 5, 2009 at 6:10 PM
I do consider The Source. Every morning, 4 chapters at a time.
kingsjester on October 5, 2009 at 6:13 PM
You don’t even know where YOUR MOM lives?
HornetSting on October 5, 2009 at 6:15 PM
I love the smell of trolls with clever nics in the morning
smells like………self-abuse, juvenile narcissism, hypocrisy, etc.
This one and crap6 have adopted the ‘Grow Balls Strategy’ of sticking to one subject and saying the same thing over and over. Must have been to the same seminar, or
All Trolls Act Alike
Janos Hunyadi on October 5, 2009 at 6:16 PM
HornetSting on October 5, 2009 at 6:15 PM
Darling you’re really off your game today. Sleep it off and we’ll try again some other time.
Good4Onan on October 5, 2009 at 6:18 PM
I don’t think so. Jon Gosselin spent several seasons exploiting his EIGHT kids for $$$ then has pretty much abandoned any sense of being a dad as it appears he’s trying to re-live his early 20s.
Johnston is just out there because you Palin-haters need to attack this woman no matter what and keeping this idiot out in public is one way of doing so.
highhopes on October 5, 2009 at 6:19 PM
Yahtzee….you lose.
HornetSting on October 5, 2009 at 6:22 PM
Why is Levi Johnson racist? Isn’t that the stereotypical image of a body guard: a big burly black man? Is Levi saying that the best a black man can do is be his body guard? Or is he saying that only black men are fit to be body guards? Why isn’t Levi the body guard and let a black man eat the pistachio?
Why is Levi Johnson racist?
Mallard T. Drake on October 5, 2009 at 6:28 PM
“Onan” is doing a crr6: Spew insults,
tell everyone you’re smarter than everyone,
slink off after declaring a victory that exists only in his sore and weary hand
–and NO informational content in any post
Janos Hunyadi on October 5, 2009 at 6:30 PM
I’ll stick with ashamed. Not for the grandkid, but for the mother/father. But in the end she did the right thing, when many, now a days would rather kill the baby.
Jeff from WI on October 5, 2009 at 6:31 PM
So,, what will he be doing when his son (or is it his daughter) turns 6? When his son turns 12? Will he fight for visitation rights?? Will he pay child support?? Will he care??
At some point his usefulness for the Palin haters will have been exhausted. The weight will gain, the build will fail, the money dry up. And he’ll be sitting somewhere in a bar or on a bench and he will hear a man’s voice say, “Dad? Is that you?”
JellyToast on October 5, 2009 at 6:31 PM
Oh yeah, Onan’s like cotton candy, all fluff, no stuff. Matter of fact, I think that’s his job…fluffer.
HornetSting on October 5, 2009 at 6:38 PM
Allah, how about Spencer Pratt? Does that work for you?
Rich Fader on October 5, 2009 at 6:54 PM
What I really want to know is: Why hasn’t Levi been on Katie Curic’s show so we can get his take on Afghanistan?
Inquiring minds and all…
chewydog on October 5, 2009 at 6:54 PM
Oh, this helps Sarah. But then, the truth always reveals itself eventually.
AnninCA on October 5, 2009 at 7:09 PM
Yes that’s true.
Dr Evil on October 5, 2009 at 7:17 PM
onan=Bucwheat speak for”gonad”.
theTarCzar on October 5, 2009 at 7:23 PM
Wow, there are some harsh words for Bristol here. Girls have been falling for bad boy lines and promises for thousands of years. Unfortunately, she didn’t see the slime beneath the surface (she could have at least picked it up from his trashy mother) because of the stars in her eyes.
Bristol, with help from her family, is the one living up to her responsibilities. The shame and harsh words should be reserved for the slime.
I’ve been very fortunate that my 17-year-old daughter thinks more clearly and sees boys for what they are. She has many plans for the future that don’t include some immature boy who only wants one thing and will say anything to get it.
Common Sense on October 5, 2009 at 7:41 PM
Another week, another reminder of how trashy the Palin family is. You betcha!
simplesimon on October 5, 2009 at 8:14 PM
It’s my playmate! Hi, Skippy! The only trash around, besides you, is Letterman and Levi. Bristol and her family are taking care of the new baby in a loving home. A teenage making a mistake isn’t trashy. It’s how they handle themselves after the conception that determines the trashiness factor. Now run along. I’m sure Mom has supper ready.
kingsjester on October 5, 2009 at 8:29 PM
If anything, Levi should be used as a reminder to teen girls everywhere that it doesn’t matter how many times that boy says he loves you, he’s a douche that just wanted to have fun without the responsibility. It’s harsh and it’s to the point, but welcome to the real world ladies.
baxtrice on October 5, 2009 at 8:36 PM
Aw man, I love pistachios. I don’t have to boycott them now, do I? I promise to buy them without shells.
Tanya on October 5, 2009 at 8:52 PM
Samson Obama.
Jim Treacher on October 5, 2009 at 9:53 PM
Dude, I used to like Jon. I thought the problem was that meanie Kate. After countless sightings with other women and widely televised temper tantrums, I think he’s a tool. Man, life changes quick.
Oh, Levi Johnston. I never like that guy . I keep wondering if he’ll do something endearing, like not being a gigantic @$$hat, but I won’t hold my breath.
Sorry future daughter. I’m getting me a shotgun so I can be cleaning it right when you introduce me to your very first boyfriend. After seeing jerks like Levi ruin young women’s lives by getting them pregnant and living off of that fame, I will make your first boyfriend VERY uncomfortable.
Rightwingguy on October 5, 2009 at 9:58 PM
I also hope this dude is paying LOT’S of child-support. He can afford it.
Rightwingguy on October 5, 2009 at 9:59 PM
And what’s really sad is that all of actually know who Kevin Federline is. It’s a sad statement on our society that any of us would waste the “hard drive” space to remember the name of such a nobody.
And yes – Levi Johnston is lower than Federline. Good call on that.
UltimateBob on October 5, 2009 at 10:27 PM
Another post reminding us that someone forgot to flush….
HornetSting on October 6, 2009 at 12:15 AM
How sad is it when the only thing you’re famous for is one segment of societies hatred for another person?
SuperCool on October 6, 2009 at 2:30 AM
Post of the thread!!
gary4205 on October 6, 2009 at 2:51 AM
In many cultures a group of men would take someone, like yourself, out and cane them vigorously until they became unconscious. Then the men would tie your nearly lifeless body behind a fast horse and give said horse a swift kick in the behind.
Be thankful you do not live in this sort of culture.
On a similar plane, I certainly hope you don’t have children. That would be a serious tragedy for said children.
gary4205 on October 6, 2009 at 3:17 AM
At least he has the money to pay his child support this month! He does pay child support, doesn’t he?
Bicyea on October 6, 2009 at 7:23 AM
I guess he had to wear the tshirt to remind people of who he was and where he needs to send the child support checks. What a complete douche, on the same level as Kayne West.
Torch on October 6, 2009 at 9:12 AM
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