Video: Unmarried teen dad inexplicably now a corporate pitchman
posted at 4:23 pm on October 5, 2009 by Allahpundit
Funny thing: Just this morning, I was skimming the headlines at People and thinking Jon Gosselin must surely be the seediest no-name D-bag “celebrity” on the American landscape.
But I was wrong, wasn’t I?
I want to call this tool a Federline for our age, but even that doesn’t quite work because K-Fed was, at least, a celebrity spouse. That is to say, Johnston’s actually a step down on the “accomplishment” scale from Kevin Federline. But of course, that’s the point of the ad: As you’ll see from the second clip, he’s not the only attractive imbecile who stumbled into his Z-list celebrity status to be featured in this campaign.
Blowback
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Porn star within two years. Dollar to a donute.
Akzed on October 5, 2009 at 4:25 PM
I know what pistachio brand I’ll NEVER buy. Great ad campaign, morons. I’ve got 3/2 odds the ad manager is a flaming liberal.
jimmy the notable on October 5, 2009 at 4:26 PM
The dominatrix ones both excites and frightens me.
lorien1973 on October 5, 2009 at 4:26 PM
Tool. Take care of your kid, jackhole.
Dr.Cwac.Cwac on October 5, 2009 at 4:27 PM
Nope, Gosselin still wins based on sheer volume of irresponsibility and that he is older and suppose to be wiser.
Cindy Munford on October 5, 2009 at 4:27 PM
Pistachios, huh? Nice get, Levi Hollywood.
Dead Hand Control on October 5, 2009 at 4:27 PM
You shut your mouth. Don’t give him any ideas.
MadisonConservative on October 5, 2009 at 4:27 PM
I want to take off his Alaska shirt and strangle him with it… then leave him somewhere.
Wishful thinking but God what a freaking nut. I am not buying those pistachios!
upinak on October 5, 2009 at 4:28 PM
14:59
Dr.Cwac.Cwac on October 5, 2009 at 4:29 PM
How the minor have fallen. Even Kato managed to wrangle himself a year of Hollywood party invites.
Bishop on October 5, 2009 at 4:29 PM
Johnston needs to take his nuts and go home.
Idiot.
portlandon on October 5, 2009 at 4:30 PM
My love for pistachios—RIP
rjoco1 on October 5, 2009 at 4:30 PM
It would be funnier if he was in a Trojan commercial….
HornetSting on October 5, 2009 at 4:30 PM
Makes me wonder why we can’t have a spay/neuter program for deserving humans.
catlady on October 5, 2009 at 4:30 PM
Well, Levi does lack nuts.
Jackass still does not take care of his son I bet.
cubachi on October 5, 2009 at 4:30 PM
Shouldn’t that have said, “Get Cracker”?
Laura in Maryland on October 5, 2009 at 4:30 PM
Wait till he impregnates some millionaires daughter. Levi who?
upinak on October 5, 2009 at 4:30 PM
I heard Levi got the gig when obama failed the audition.
HornetSting on October 5, 2009 at 4:31 PM
The wee man one is good too. So is the mobster one.
lorien1973 on October 5, 2009 at 4:31 PM
…and that’s what they’ll call the movie;)
Laura in Maryland on October 5, 2009 at 4:31 PM
Nadir of Western culture reached?
Good Lt on October 5, 2009 at 4:31 PM
huge difference here: Bristol going to school, working and raising her child. Levi: acting like a jackass tool
ousoonerfan15 on October 5, 2009 at 4:32 PM
Seriously. I just pictured a Levi/Paylin movie, and am a little scared it might actually happen.
BadgerHawk on October 5, 2009 at 4:32 PM
I hope so, but I doubt it.
notropis on October 5, 2009 at 4:33 PM
Gather ye nuts while ye may.
BL@KBIRD on October 5, 2009 at 4:33 PM
Last I heard, Levi was trying to decide whether to pose full frontal or back in Playgirl. I guess he didn’t meet the size requirements.
txag92 on October 5, 2009 at 4:34 PM
I think the body gaurd already tarts him.
upinak on October 5, 2009 at 4:34 PM
So my “US Americans” honey is pitching Iranian pistachios too?
WashJeff on October 5, 2009 at 4:35 PM
Levi is a moron but so is the former Governor’s daughter….The stupid brat didn’t listen to her mother and now we have to suffer a moron like this.
TimeTraveler on October 5, 2009 at 4:35 PM
I decided to get married before having a kid… that must be why Im not a celebrity with my own commericial. I mean, what’s he got that I haven’t got?
WyoMike on October 5, 2009 at 4:36 PM
Why the F**k is this on the main page?
Go ahead AP, keep it up Mr. Frumite.
Sapwolf on October 5, 2009 at 4:37 PM
Prediction time:
Found dead in a run down North Hollywood motel with a needle in his arm & lots of drugs in his system within….a 2 years?
portlandon on October 5, 2009 at 4:37 PM
The fact that he is a big d!c# doesn’t mean that he has one.
thomasaur on October 5, 2009 at 4:37 PM
Johnston mistook the ‘crack’ reference, now he’s stuck eating nuts for money.
This blog entry subsidized by millionaire democrats for tax evasion, inc.
Spiritk9 on October 5, 2009 at 4:38 PM
did they have to put the alaska shirt on him so people would realize who he was?
jp on October 5, 2009 at 4:38 PM
Someone tell Johnston to go pick up a bra. I see little green man boobs.
RepubChica on October 5, 2009 at 4:38 PM
Where’s Joe Biden’s daughter at? Blind-date payback.
I like it.
portlandon on October 5, 2009 at 4:38 PM
I’ve rethought my position on Levi reminding of K-fed. K-Fed appears to have been slightly responsible in taking care of the munchkins whilst the ex was having her breakdown or rehab or whatever. I don’t know about anymore, but at the time, he seemed to have stepped up.
The John Gosselin/Levi Johnson comparison is actually pretty apt.
mjk on October 5, 2009 at 4:39 PM
I could see Hustler trying to get him to star in “Nailin’ Palin” Part 2
jp on October 5, 2009 at 4:39 PM
Probably. I forgot what he looked like.
mjk on October 5, 2009 at 4:40 PM
How many Americans even know the shape of Alaska? I probably do not want to know the answer to that one.
WashJeff on October 5, 2009 at 4:40 PM
Which of course will be all Sarah’s fault for the way her family treated him (or, if Andrew Sullivan is really feeling frisky that day, will have been because Palin or her henchmen actually injected Levi with the drugs).
jon1979 on October 5, 2009 at 4:40 PM
Guess I’m glad I hate pistacios… Pestacheeos, Puhstasheos… er’ however the horrid little things are spelled.
Warner Todd Huston on October 5, 2009 at 4:41 PM
So we have MS Teen South Carolina tonguing nuts and this is not a porn?
.
.
Very sad
LincolntheHun on October 5, 2009 at 4:41 PM
Aren’t pistachios just getting over their big salmonella “recall” scare? This is supposed to revive their image as “clean and safe”?
Hehehe.
caygeon on October 5, 2009 at 4:41 PM
I want to hurt him in the same way he’s hurt me. *snerk*
Orange Doorhinge on October 5, 2009 at 4:41 PM
Whoops! The shirt is labeled. Now we are down to people who cannot read.
WashJeff on October 5, 2009 at 4:41 PM
You can make that check out to Bristol Palin, Wonder Nuts.
gaius on October 5, 2009 at 4:42 PM
I know what it looks like. Mostly from “Ice Road Truckers.” Now those are some people with some real nuts.
(I did know before, just FYI)
mjk on October 5, 2009 at 4:42 PM
Gay porn…him as the catcher.
mizflame98 on October 5, 2009 at 4:43 PM
Heroes of the Left:
- Levi, knocked up an underage girl and left her
- Letterman, child rape fantasies, sexual harassment expert
- Polanski, child rapist
faraway on October 5, 2009 at 4:44 PM
You know what would cause me to buy this company’s nuts?
Vince from ShamWow and the Ice Road Truckers. That would be the awesomest commercial ever!
mjk on October 5, 2009 at 4:44 PM
Oh, my head…
Can’t this loser just go away, please?
ErinF on October 5, 2009 at 4:46 PM
Sarah should have cracked his nuts
J_Crater on October 5, 2009 at 4:46 PM
Uh, yum?!
Forget about the pistachio, let’s wrestle.
cozmo on October 5, 2009 at 4:46 PM
Commercial work huh?
A nutjob finds a nut job. Perfect!
LeeSeneca on October 5, 2009 at 4:47 PM
Akzed on October 5, 2009 at 4:25 PM
“Nailin’ Palin”
You Betcha!
Good4Onan on October 5, 2009 at 4:47 PM
I think this is good, because now Levi will finally have some money that he can use to start paying all that child support he has missed for the last year or so.
PhilipJames on October 5, 2009 at 4:48 PM
Jon Gosselin at least claims to now believe that being on TV is not in his kids’ best interest and wants them off the show. Right now Kate Gosselin is the one who wants to keep the gravy train rolling. Neither of the Gosselin’s deserves a parent of the year award and they both seem narcissistic, but right now it seems as though Kate is the one who wants to be a celebrity.
Jon Gosselin at least has the appearance of being concerned about his kids. Levi is just trying to wring every penny he can out of his 15 minutes. The irony of Levi Johnston taking swipes at the Gov. Palin for allegedly resigning so she could make a lot of money is that the wealthier Sarah Palin gets, the less likely Bristol will have to go after him for child support.
rokemronnie on October 5, 2009 at 4:48 PM
Well, Bristol’s ultimate revenge will be successfully raising her child while finishing school. That and becoming the First Daughter in 3 1/2 years.
Doughboy on October 5, 2009 at 4:50 PM
He’s like John Bobbitt, except no knife is necessary.
Jim Treacher on October 5, 2009 at 4:50 PM
What a pair, Levi and Tank!
Bristol needs to get a lawyer and start going after this idiot for child support. I don’t know about Alaska (or Kalifornia) but in Texas, they’ll put you in jail if you don’t pay up.
gary4205 on October 5, 2009 at 4:51 PM
I’m sure if he had a video of him and Bristol, he’d have “leaked” it already.
True, but in ripping into Palin, he gets more money and more camera time. I’m sure he considers it a worthwhile trade off.
Esthier on October 5, 2009 at 4:51 PM
Still waiting for Levi Johnston and Meghan McCain to start dating…
roger wilco on October 5, 2009 at 4:51 PM
To: pr@getcrackin.com
Subject: levi jonston ad
Date: Mon 10/05/09 12:42 PM
This is the most offensive, disgusting ad I have seen in years. Levi Johnston is a irresponsible, self-absorbed, low-life. The idea that he laughs about disrespecting his girlfriend and parades around as a pseudo-celebrity is nauseating. Knocking up a girl and then dumping on her is nothing to be proud of. It demeans your product to be represented by a misogynist. It is a shame since I love pistachios. I will try to avoid your brand.
scrubjay on October 5, 2009 at 4:52 PM
Bulk container shipments of pistachio nuts are prone to self heating and spontaneous combustion because of their high fat and low water content.
J_Crater on October 5, 2009 at 4:53 PM
As miserable and debased as Levi Johnston is, at least he’s not Good4Onan.
Jim Treacher on October 5, 2009 at 4:56 PM
So someone (probably more than one person) at Wonderful Pistachios has a serious case of PDS, I presume.
Terrific.
Kensington on October 5, 2009 at 4:57 PM
I don’t know why everyone picks on Jon. I mean really. We all know who the jerk really is.
Kate cheated on him first, why isn’t that published? I know it sounds stupid to point out who cheated on who first but really. If we’re going down that road, let’s get it right.
And now Jon takes $200k out of their joint account and Kate’s on TV crying “I don’t have money to pay the bills and feed the kids”. BS. That broad is worth millions.
I absolutely can’t wait for the “tell all” book by Jon. Kate’s going down after that and it ain’t gonna be pretty. Watch for it.
My guess is, Kate better enjoy this because people are kinda tired of these two. Especially her.
SuperManGreenLantern on October 5, 2009 at 4:57 PM
I wonder how much money he has made in the last year?
seriously, how much?
jp on October 5, 2009 at 4:57 PM
Feel for the others in this ad campaign, being associated with this asshat.
coyoterex on October 5, 2009 at 4:59 PM
Oh yeah, not going to backfire on you one bit…
Terry_Dyne on October 5, 2009 at 4:59 PM
Nothing on the website calling them California pistachios. Couldn’t find anything about where they are grown on the Swiss or British sites, but notice a lot of European country sites in addition to U.S., which makes Iranian provenance more likely. They are NOT part of the CA recall. Could these pistachios be funding nuclear Iran? (Yeah, a little overboard.)
raybury on October 5, 2009 at 5:00 PM
I sort of admire Levi is a demented, perverse way. He did what thousands of teens do every year except he was handed the golden ticket along with his mistake. Can you really fault him for cashing in as much as he can? This is the land of opportunity. He’s just making the most of his (even if he is a skuzzy, phlegm ball for doing it).
sluhser589 on October 5, 2009 at 5:00 PM
Gay Bondage, where he will be the feature in a fisting frenzy…
Seven Percent Solution on October 5, 2009 at 5:01 PM
The up-side: Thanks to the draconian US child support system, Bristol’s got this idiot by his balls for 17 long years. Every dollar he earns in these crappy commercials and appearances is money that’s going back to Wasilla.
That’s the only up-side, of course.
evergreen on October 5, 2009 at 5:03 PM
I’ll celebrate this commercial by buying a can of almonds today.
AUINSC on October 5, 2009 at 5:03 PM
Too bad no one can pull his head out of his butt at the same time.
upinak on October 5, 2009 at 5:03 PM
I already hated pistachios.
And this…doesn’t change that. Re-enforces it actually…
catmman on October 5, 2009 at 5:03 PM
Nah….that’s the Kennedy’s MO on how to shut up Marilyn.
Jerome Horwitz on October 5, 2009 at 5:03 PM
No doubt they realized the need for the Alaska reference so people would place the name to the shame. He has shown himself to be totally deserving of insignificance and irrelevance. The sooner he is forgotten the better.
Only the open-minded liberal left would attempt to make a ‘celebrity’ out of what is nothing more than yet another deadbeat dad.
Say what you like about K-Fed’s lack of discernible talent, but he stood up for his kids when Brittney was
on her back againgoing out to clubs and otherwise acting irresponsibly.Good thing I caught that before posting.
Tom_OC on October 5, 2009 at 5:04 PM
Re: The Miss Teen one,
Feminazi reaction in 10…9…8…7
SuperManGreenLantern on October 5, 2009 at 5:05 PM
Why, no political theme there…
Terry_Dyne on October 5, 2009 at 5:05 PM
Video:Nutless Gutless now peddling nuts, will follow with smut
macncheez on October 5, 2009 at 5:05 PM
:O)
Seven Percent Solution on October 5, 2009 at 5:05 PM
Sarah Palin is so big….this fool gets endorsement deals.
jp on October 5, 2009 at 5:05 PM
Nevermind.
I guess my original Brittney comment was pretty tame by comparison.
Tom_OC on October 5, 2009 at 5:06 PM
He must need money desperately.
jeanie on October 5, 2009 at 5:07 PM
drugs are expensive and jobs suck
jp on October 5, 2009 at 5:07 PM
Jim Treacher on October 5, 2009 at 4:56 PM
Actually Jim, I think Levi wished he had been a bit more like Onan.
Good4Onan on October 5, 2009 at 5:09 PM
Jon and Kate: On My Nerves, They Grate!
pilamaye on October 5, 2009 at 5:09 PM
I can’t see the video? He’s selling pistacios? Good – I won’t ever buy them again.
Problem solved.
HondaV65 on October 5, 2009 at 5:11 PM
About the only thing Levi “Douche-Tastic” Johnston is good for these days is sucking on nuts.
pilamaye on October 5, 2009 at 5:11 PM
and — wait for it:
but you knew that, even before you looked, didn’t you?
Terry_Dyne on October 5, 2009 at 5:11 PM
Child-support payments, deadbeat tendencies…
Snowed In on October 5, 2009 at 5:12 PM
Miss South Carolina is less gifted than most, IFKWIMAITYD, so I don’t object to her making some money off of it. That’s a lot different than that foul turd of a man Johnston and my interest is in seeing him do nothing other than panhandle for nickels on a street corner to get by.
No pistachios for me for a long time, and I usually go through a small bag a week.
Dusty on October 5, 2009 at 5:12 PM
I’m sure he’s crying all the way to the bank.
Snowed In on October 5, 2009 at 5:12 PM
Don’t flatter yourself there, Good4Onan.
Your remark at 4:47 was offensive and Treacher called you on it.
His remark was directed at you, not the Onan.
Unless you think you can — like Onan — hold your own in an exchange with Treacher I think you should just admit your initial remark was inappropriate.
Tom_OC on October 5, 2009 at 5:15 PM
and
and the “Republican” was John Mccain, so doesn’t count.
Terry_Dyne on October 5, 2009 at 5:16 PM
Mmmmm mmmm mmmmmm…salty nuts go good with beer.
Schweaty balls are my favorite, however.
Wyznowski on October 5, 2009 at 5:17 PM
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