Breaking: Chicago eliminated from Olympics voting — in first round; Update: Total shock in Chi-town; Update: Rio gets the games

You’ve got to be kidding. No link yet but stand by for updates.

Update: The president, the first lady, even Oprah — all of them showed up to make the pitch.

And they ended up being the very first city eliminated.

In a stunning development, Chicago was the first city eliminated on Friday in IOC voting to be host city for the 2016 Summer Olympics…

His wife tugged at IOC members’ heart strings by discussing her late father, who had multiple sclerosis. She recounted sitting on his lap, watching Olympians such as Carl Lewis and Nadia Comaneci compete, and how her father “taught me how to throw a ball and a mean right hook.”

“My dad would have been so proud to witness these games in Chicago,” she said.

It’s only right that I eat crap here for having insisted that this was a done deal and that The One wouldn’t dare risk his political capital on a completely needless humiliation. You’re a bigger sucker than I thought, champ.

Update: “Depression and shock” in Chicago.

The Daley Plaza crowd reacted to Chicago’s elimination in silence. Some members of the crowd were crying as they walked away. People blamed negative media attention on the bid and former Chicago Bulls star Michael Jordan’s lack of participation as reasons for the loss.

“We weren’t unified as a city. We didn’t get behind this enough,” said Rob Fox of Chicago.

“Michael Jordan didn’t show up,” said Margaret Johnson of Chicago. “His city asked him for help and he turned his back on us.”

Is that going to be the White House spin? It’s Michael Jordan’s fault?

Update: As expected, The One didn’t stick around to face the possibility of humiliation.

Throngs watching the voting in downtown Chicago’s Daley Plaza gasped in disappointment as the announcement was made.

United States Olympic Committee leaders appeared stunned by the news and had no comment as they left the voting hall. Mr. Obama was flying back to Washington at the time of the vote.

Update: Another potential scapegoat to go along with Michael Jordan: School violence.

Luciano Reyes speculated that Chicago was undone by a negative reputation internationally.

“The violence in the schools became an international issue, and all the corruption, the rest of the world just sees us as Crook Town,” said Reyes, 59, currently unemployed, who bought his first TV two decades ago specifically to watch the Olympics.

Update: There has to be a way to blame this on Bush somehow. Theories welcome in the comments!

Update: Open a browser tab, point it to this Tribune page, and just keep refreshing as reports of the shock over The God That Failed roll in. My favorite quote: “I really don’t know what happened. Maybe the ‘machine’ isn’t working.”

Update: To no one’s surprise, the games end up in Brazil.

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