Video: Hollywood now remaking movies blogger saw in the theater as a kid

posted at 9:10 pm on September 29, 2009 by Allahpundit

To cleanse the palate, a reminder that our child-rape-supporting betters are really, truly, sincerely out of ideas. How soon, I wonder, before the inevitable remakes of Ghostbusters, Ferris Bueller’s Day Off, and Police Academy, directed by Judd Apatow and starring Seth Rogen as a reimagined “schlubbier” Mahoney character? Maybe get Shaq for the Hightower role? $30 million on opening weekend, guaranteed.

Am I reading too much into the trailer here or does the beginning make it seem as though Freddy, the child-murdering monster to end all monsters, has been falsely accused in this one? Given Hollywood’s face-first dive into the tank for Polanski, I guess that stands to reason.

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Pretty in Pink

portlandon on September 29, 2009 at 9:27 PM

There would be a chick uprising the likes of which has never been seen.

exception on September 29, 2009 at 10:15 PM

Am I reading too much into the trailer here or does the beginning make it seem as though Freddy, the child-murdering monster to end all monsters, has been falsely accused in this one?

I noticed that too. I suppose it would be a definite departure from the original storyline to make Krueger innocent of the murders, which at least would mean it’s not a straight up rehash. But at the same time, it also cheapens the character. Freddy’s supposed to be a vile, despicable person, not a tragic, misunderstood victim.

Doughboy on September 29, 2009 at 10:15 PM

What’s the word on Elric of Melniboné? Is that ever gonna happen?

pfamis on September 29, 2009 at 10:06 PM

saw a clip on Youtube once…. was wayyyyyy bad… I’m hoping they do the project right…

Romeo13 on September 29, 2009 at 10:12 PM

I’m scared. It’s too good of a story to f’up.

pfamis on September 29, 2009 at 10:16 PM

Just as long as they remake Red Dawn.

Bill C on September 29, 2009 at 9:21 PM

One of my favorites. But I vote they leave this classic alone. I’m to scared they would screw it up. In fact I would bet that they would screw it up.

Dire Straits on September 29, 2009 at 10:17 PM

One of my favorites. But I vote they leave this classic alone. I’m to scared they would screw it up. In fact I would bet that they would screw it up.

Dire Straits on September 29, 2009 at 10:17 PM

I believe that the remake is already either in the works or in the can. You know that they will ruin it with the mindset in h-wood.

thomasaur on September 29, 2009 at 10:20 PM

Let me get this out of the way first, Hollywood sucks because they fear making anything that hasn’t already been done, and the actors are mostly pampered pretty people. Where the hell has Gene Hackman gone?

Ok. I don’t watch remakes, but did want to see what they did to Vanishing Point. For you youngsters, this was a drive-in classic. It was usually shown along with another great driving flic called Dirty Mary and Crazy Larry. Both were basically pointless as far as plot goes, but the driving was fantastic.

The new VP was cleaned up beyond recognition. The director seemed to try to justify why the driver was eluding the cops. And some of the actual driving was absurd in the planning. I didn’t see the ending, but I doubt that it was the same.

Hey, Hollywood, try something original, and with not-so-pretty people. Oh yeah, and STFU about politics.

TugboatPhil on September 29, 2009 at 10:21 PM

I think not being orignal could be great. But they should remake good ideas that failed. If I were a producer I’d be pouring through all kinds off old crappy movies, thinking of who could make it great.

exception on September 29, 2009 at 10:26 PM

TugboatPhil on September 29, 2009 at 10:21 PM

The old $2.00 a carload Saturday night at the Drive-In, good times.

thomasaur on September 29, 2009 at 10:28 PM

I read that they are going to make a new version of True Grit.

No………..

Dhuka on September 29, 2009 at 10:34 PM

Why didn’t Freddie Krueger just flee to France?

Kensington on September 29, 2009 at 10:36 PM

I read a draft of the script for this one several months ago — someone on another site sent it to me when I requested it from him. I’ve been covering the remake on my blog, so I know way too much about it. Although consider anything written here speculative since I don’t know how far into the writing process my copy of the script is.

SPOILERS! SPOILERS! SPOILERS! SPOILERS!

There’s more that’s been changed from the original. Other than the casting of Jackie Earle Haley (Rorschach from Watchmen) as Freddy, some plot points are being explored.

1) In the original, as we know, Freddy was a child murderer. That was because around the time the movie was being made there was the Day Care Center Moral Panic going on, and Wes Craven didn’t want to be seen exploiting the cases — originally, Krueger was a child molester. For this remake, he’s back to being a child molester.

2) In this one, Freddy is a janitor at a day care center where the characters were students. He’s accused of being a molester by the parents after one of the girls is found with rips on her dress. The characters go through the movie thinking that he’s after them in particular because they lied. When they go back to the now abandoned day care center where their files are, they find out that he’s not after them because they lied, but because they told the truth.

3) They also put a “timer” on how long these kids can stay awake before they constantly go in and out of the dream state involuntarily. The explanation given being that the human body can only stay awake for so long before your body finds ways of shutting your brain down in order to get some rest.

ScoopPC11 on September 29, 2009 at 10:43 PM

(I’ve never seen a single slasher movie.)

Diane on September 29, 2009 at 10:46 PM

Short on new material. Need some new conservative blood!

CynicalOptimist on September 29, 2009 at 10:48 PM

That looked terrible. The only thing more annoying in movies these days than “shaky cam” is that blue tint that everyone uses. Also, the thing that made classic horror films like Nightmare great was that they weren’t high tech, the remakes these days have access to lots of technology and it ultimately ruins the movie.

clearbluesky on September 29, 2009 at 10:54 PM

What’s the word on Elric of Melniboné? Is that ever gonna happen?

pfamis

Wow, talk about a blast from the past.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XCxL3-Fl7bM

xblade on September 29, 2009 at 11:06 PM

One of my favorites. But I vote they leave this classic alone. I’m to scared they would screw it up. In fact I would bet that they would screw it up.

Dire Straits

The new Red Dawn is based in Baghdad, where a group of Iraqi teenagers bands together to defend their town, and their country, from the evil, invading American forces.

xblade on September 29, 2009 at 11:11 PM

Looks generic and uninspired. I was never big in to the Freddy movies, I liked Halloween, Friday 13th and Bloody Valentine much more and the remakes of those movies sucked so I have no desire to see this one.

Daemonocracy on September 29, 2009 at 11:12 PM

Still holding out for a Zachariah remake.

The Ugly American on September 29, 2009 at 11:25 PM

did you see that they are redoing “the stepfather”? there is a giant billboard for it on the gowanus and i’m all, is that billboard 20 yrs old? wtf?

anna on September 29, 2009 at 11:29 PM

Robocop 2 was the worst. First time I seriously thought about walking out but I was too cheap. Dummy me.

CWforFreedom on September 29, 2009 at 9:49 PM

I take it that you didn’t see Robocop 3 then? Robocop + Jetpack = Maximum Suckage

But don’t fret, yet another Robocop is due out in 2011. Only thing is that the reported director is Darren Aronofsky who recently signed the Polanski petition. Small world, ain’t it?

Left Coast Right Mind on September 29, 2009 at 11:30 PM

I hate Hollywood movies. If that trailer was “approved for all ages,” I’d hate to see the R rated version.

leftnomore on September 29, 2009 at 11:38 PM

Casablanca with Seth Green and Miley Cyrus…anyone, anyone?

Laura in Maryland on September 29, 2009 at 11:45 PM

Laura in Maryland on September 29, 2009 at 11:45 PM

Wuthering Heights … with Ben Aflack and… Madona?

Romeo13 on September 30, 2009 at 12:00 AM

Romeo13 on September 30, 2009 at 12:00 AM

Uuugh! you win the gross-out contest!

Laura in Maryland on September 30, 2009 at 12:06 AM

Hollywood is risk averse when it comes to investing in movies, so they continually make sequels, adaptations and remakes. There are thousands of original scripts out there, but except for indies, they’re ignored. I know. I’ve written seven of them.

NNtrancer on September 30, 2009 at 12:10 AM

The Ten Commandments

faraway on September 30, 2009 at 12:12 AM

Ghostbusters 3 – in Scripting / Pre-Production. 2012 release.

Personally, I’m waiting for a re-imaging of Mother Jugs and Speed. They could probably get Cosby, Welch and Keitel for a good price.

juanito on September 30, 2009 at 12:19 AM

Freddy was a great villain because he had a sense of humor, just as all true evil does. Craven’s Freddy cracked jokes and came across as completely devoid of any redeeming qualities, but he didn’t take anything so seriously (‘I’m your boyfriend now!’ and the phone grows a tongue. Heh.)
When the ‘bad’ characters have no humor, they are cartoons. The Devil in Crossroads and Mortensen in The Prophecy come to mind…

TinMan13 on September 30, 2009 at 12:22 AM

Not as cartoons, but as rich characters. Hit send too early…

TinMan13 on September 30, 2009 at 12:23 AM

Heh, did the guy playing Krueger go full retard?

Bill C on September 29, 2009 at 9:24 PM

You never go full retard!

Noocyte on September 30, 2009 at 12:29 AM

Remake “Fountainhead.” That would scare the living sh%& out of libtards.

Mojave Mark on September 30, 2009 at 12:31 AM

pfamis on September 29, 2009 at 10:16 PM

Starship Troopers. There is no story too good to screw up.

jdkchem on September 30, 2009 at 12:32 AM

Am I reading too much into the trailer here or does the beginning make it seem as though Freddy, the child-murdering monster to end all monsters, has been falsely accused in this one?

Robot Chicken did it first.

James on September 30, 2009 at 12:35 AM

They should just remake everything using CG only and have Frank Caliendo do all the voices. That would be the best way to cheap out.

OxyCon on September 30, 2009 at 12:40 AM

Isn’t it about time they remade “Superbad”?

NTropy on September 30, 2009 at 12:51 AM

Brian DePalma is currently cannibalizing “The Untouchables” too.

How long until George Lucas decides he needs more money and starts cranking out Star Wars: Episodes VII, VIII, and IX?

I wonder if the ubiquitous Shia LeBeouf will be cast as Han Solo?

Mike Honcho on September 30, 2009 at 1:16 AM

How long until George Lucas decides he needs more money and starts cranking out Star Wars: Episodes VII, VIII, and IX?

I wonder if the ubiquitous Shia LeBeouf will be cast as Han Solo?

Mike Honcho on September 30, 2009 at 1:16 AM

Wonder if he’d call it “The New Republic…”

Noocyte on September 30, 2009 at 1:21 AM

Wow! Pretty soon Hollywood will try to redo The Fintstones…

Oh! Wait….

Sorry!

shorebird on September 30, 2009 at 1:28 AM

“We felt the novel was very prescient to how the political climate is at the moment. It really showed what can happen when society is ruled by government, rather than the government being run as a voice of the people. I don’t think it’s such a big leap to say that things like that can happen when leaders stop listening to the people.”

- James McTeigue, Director of V for Vendetta

How relevant is that quote to what is going on right now? Very, with a “V”.

Now THAT is a film that could really be a blockbuster if made into some kind of sequel. In the comic, Evey Hammond becomes the new “V” after the first one dies. There is a gold mine to be had there, my friends.

BTW, I think that the Guy Fawkes masks should be all the rage this Halloween, don’t you??? They would scare the sh*t out of our big-government politicians.

OneVision on September 30, 2009 at 1:45 AM

I believe that the remake is already either in the works or in the can. You know that they will ruin it with the mindset in h-wood.

thomasaur on September 29, 2009 at 10:20 PM

Red Dawn just started shooting in Michigan. Not because of the “Wolverine” angle, but because the state now pays filmmakers to shoot here.

rokemronnie on September 30, 2009 at 2:19 AM

rokemronnie on September 30, 2009 at 2:19 AM

**Runs screaming into the night—”nooooo….”**

lovingmyUSA on September 30, 2009 at 2:43 AM

Look at the bright side, now they can stuff it full of “Bush sucks” jokes.

Bladerunner1701 on September 30, 2009 at 3:20 AM

Hate to be the one to break the bad news but they actually are doing a Teen Wolf remake (seriously). Only it’s going to be a TV series on MTV (I think) and they want to make it darker (i.e. full of teen angst). It’s already been dubbed a werewolf Twilight.

And to think that there are hundreds, maybe thousands of writers all with original ideas hoping to make it big in Hollywood some day.

Jay Mac on September 30, 2009 at 5:28 AM

Gone With The Wind with Will Ferrel as Rhett Butler and Janeane Garofalo as Scarlett O’Hara.

Jeff from WI on September 30, 2009 at 5:28 AM

Yes Hollywood just keeps rehashing. Rarely anything original anymore. It seems the same thing goes on in the music world too.

So, you think they are making Freddy innocent? I think they could have been more original by concentrating the entire movie into a prequel storyline. If he were innocent, it would be a departure from the original, though not much detail was ever given. However, if innocent it would fuel his hauntings as revenge. Instead of a true monster we would have a sympathetic, misguided victim indeed. Wow!

Jay on September 30, 2009 at 5:44 AM

Smokey & The Bandit 4?

Jeff from WI on September 30, 2009 at 5:49 AM

Smokey & The Bandit with the bandit driving a Prius?
Dear God what have we become!!

Jeff from WI on September 30, 2009 at 5:49 AM

Ishtar!

Kafir on September 30, 2009 at 6:43 AM

I always thought that you could remake Howard the Duck by keeping it true to the dark humor nature of the comic books instead of making it the way Lucas did. And with CGI, Howard could be more realistic looking.

Another case where the book(s) is much better than the movie.

Pcoop on September 30, 2009 at 6:48 AM

Dirty Dancing 2 with Michael Moore and Rosie O’Donnell

Jeff from WI on September 30, 2009 at 7:04 AM

If that trailer was “approved for all ages,” I’d hate to see the R rated version.

Well, if you read the green band it says that it’s approved for “appropriate audiences,” not “all ages.” Which means this trailer is going to be shown only in front of R rated and PG-13 rated films. And considering the trend towards PG-13 rated horror films, I don’t know if they’re planning on staying with the R rating or going with the “sissified” PG-13.

ScoopPC11 on September 30, 2009 at 7:30 AM

Dear God no remake of : “The 3 Amigos”

Jeff from WI on September 30, 2009 at 7:38 AM

With Politics: In the original HE DIT AND WAS GUILTY. Now in the remake Freddy’s been Polanki’d by those evil rightwing parents.

Without POlitics: This trailer sucked, this movie is gonna suck, Don’t ruin a classic. Robert Englund made Freddy now Michael Bay seeks to undue him. He look horrible to boot.

Rattl3r on September 30, 2009 at 7:41 AM

I saw they were reamaking “Fame”. Why?

vcferlita on September 29, 2009 at 9:25 PM

they want the royalties “..to live forever…”

Red State State of Mind on September 30, 2009 at 7:42 AM

Gone With The Wind with Will Ferrel as Rhett Butler and Janeane Garofalo as Scarlett O’Hara.

Jeff from WI on September 30, 2009 at 5:28 AM

“With God as my witness, I’ll never shave again!”

Red State State of Mind on September 30, 2009 at 7:44 AM

Gone With The Wind with Will Ferrel as Rhett Butler and Janeane Garofalo as Scarlett O’Hara.

Jeff from WI on September 30, 2009 at 5:28 AM

“With God as my witness, I’ll never shave again!”

Red State State of Mind on September 30, 2009 at 7:44 AM

LOL…Fiddle dee dee

Jeff from WI on September 30, 2009 at 7:47 AM

Godzilla…starring Nancy Pelosi as Godzilla

Jeff from WI on September 30, 2009 at 7:50 AM

All I could think of while viewing that was “Michael Bay sucks, and I love you.”

zamoose on September 30, 2009 at 7:55 AM

I wonder, before the inevitable remakes of Ghostbusters, Ferris Bueller’s Day Off, and Police Academy

You should be so lucky! If you’ve missed them, Hoggywood is now down to to remakes of TV sitcoms; “Get Smart”, “Beverly Hillbillies”, etc. I’m waiting for the big screen thrill of “Gilligan’s Island”, “Mr. Ed”, and “My Mother the Car”.

oldleprechaun on September 30, 2009 at 7:57 AM

I wonder, before the inevitable remakes of Ghostbusters, Ferris Bueller’s Day Off, and Police Academy

You should be so lucky! If you’ve missed them, Hoggywood is now down to to remakes of TV sitcoms; “Get Smart”, “Beverly Hillbillies”, etc. I’m waiting for the big screen thrill of “Gilligan’s Island”, “Mr. Ed”, and “My Mother the Car”.

oldleprechaun on September 30, 2009 at 7:57 AM

Car 54 Where Are You, Rawhide, Rin Tin Tin, Sky King, Whirlybirds, Rescue 8, Highway Patrol, 77 Sunset Strip,
Fireball XL5

Jeff from WI on September 30, 2009 at 8:06 AM

Casablanca with Seth Green and Miley Cyrus…anyone, anyone?

Laura in Maryland on September 29, 2009 at 11:45 PM

Slap yourself right now, blasphemer.

SKYFOX on September 30, 2009 at 8:55 AM

Rin Tin Tin…as a poodle

Jeff from WI on September 30, 2009 at 9:06 AM

It was those vile evil conservative white christian men that persecuted and killed that poor Kruger boy.

barnone on September 30, 2009 at 9:06 AM

CHiPs, The Musical.

John Deaux on September 30, 2009 at 9:21 AM

An Affair to Remember.Starring Bill Clinton and.. any number of women

ZeeMI on September 30, 2009 at 10:01 AM

Can ya see the Red Dawn remake now? How sucky will that story line be when instead of resisting the enemy, the cast of characters just sits down for a long chat?

ZeeMI on September 30, 2009 at 10:03 AM

YARM, yet another remake

the issue is financing, no one can get financing without demonstrating a solid draw, sadly they all do that by showing how muhc money the film made back in the day

same thing on tv

originality is punished in Hollywood

the good news is this may save Dimension Films which is on the verge of banktupcy (its parent co Weinstein is)

They are remaking American Werewolf, Halloween (3D) and that may save it from its awful Zombiefication! (rob zombie not romero zombies) and Children of the Corn (which was JUST remade like this week it aired on SciFi)also forthcoming Scream 4

Gen Y has nothing, they remake all GEN Xs greatest hits, music sampled, tv shows respun, films YARMed

guess what Gen I am in, lol- X BABY! I am a SERIOUS horror fan and love to debate YARMS

but I will see the new Krueger cuz Thomas Dekker is in it and I miss TSCC, also I think that new actress Katie Cassidy is pretty good, she was in Harpers Island too…

ginaswo on September 30, 2009 at 12:55 PM

Actually there are still plenty of creative people in the film and television industry.

Most of them just can’t get anything new or innovative made, that’s all.

As earlier posters have pointed out, and as a recent post at Big Hollywood made clear, the ‘star’ system in Hollywood that caused most major film costs to skyrocket in the past 40 years just to handle the salaries of a handful of people have made film executives leery of signing off on risky projects.

If you have to pay your star $20,000,000 to be in your picture before a single frame is shot, they would prefer to go with something that has already been proven successful and demonstrated to have an audience.

This is why film adaptations of popular novels and comic books are at an all time high. These sort of crossover projects already have a ‘built-in’ audience.

Harry Potter, Twilight, Watchmen, Iron Man, Transformers, etc.

They already have a fan base so the only real trick is to use marketing to try to get those fans into the theaters to see your movie.

Of course, this sort of thing ‘locks in’ the creativity of the people working on the picture. If you’re trying to get a fan base into the theaters to spend money to see your film based on one of their favorite novels or comic books or kid’s TV show from the 70′s, or even a remake of an earlier film like The Karate Kid, there are very real boundaries already set in place that you can’t cross.

The basic story is pretty much cast in stone. You can’t really get cute with it or the fans will be turned off. So any creativity on projects like this is limited to coming up with new ways to present ideas other people came up with.

One fount of ‘new material’ Hollywood discovered the past decade was foreign films remade with American stars. Dark Water, The Grudge, and many other recent American films are remakes of Japanese and European films.

This is nothing new of course, those who study film are well aware that ‘The Magnificent Seven’ is based on Kurosawa’s ‘The Seven Samurai’, and ‘A Few Dollars More’ was a remake of ‘Yojimbo’ (and the Bruce Willis remake ‘Last Man Standing’ was……a remake of the remake!)

But the number of remakes of foreign films has picked up the last 10 years or so and so people have noticed that Hollywood films have gotten so expensive instead of cutting costs the industry has sought to tap into ideas that have already ‘worked’ elsewhere.

manofaiki on September 30, 2009 at 2:59 PM

We obviously need the baby boomers to die, to make room for -so- much new stuff.
.

wkgdyw on September 30, 2009 at 3:15 PM

I’d pay real money to see Olga Kurylenko, or maybe even Franka Potente, in Casablanca. Except they’d turn Bogart’s character into some metrosexual asswipe.

YARMs I wouldn’t pay for include: M, with Jeanine Garafolo; Eraserhead, with Rob Scnheider; Buckaroo Bansai, with John C Reilly; Lawrence of Arabia, with Cary Elwes; My Favorite Year, with Matt Damon; or the 1st make of Atlas Shrugged, with Charlize Theron — oh wait, they’re actually about to do that.
.

wkgdyw on September 30, 2009 at 3:34 PM

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