Environmentalists aim for your …
posted at 5:55 pm on September 24, 2009 by Ed Morrissey
Toilet paper consumes 5% of the trees harvested, a much lower percentage than shipping materials made from unrecycled paper, but it’s apparently seized most of the attention from environmentalists. The Washington Post reports on a campaign to get toilet paper manufacturers to stop making the product as soft and to use recycled paper, which thus far has meant economic death for the producers. One has to wonder whether this is really the time or the, er, place for activism:
It is a fight over toilet paper: the kind that is blanket-fluffy and getting fluffier so fast that manufacturers are running out of synonyms for “soft” (Quilted Northern Ultra Plush is the first big brand to go three-ply and three-adjective).
It’s a menace, environmental groups say — and a dark-comedy example of American excess.
The reason, they say, is that plush U.S. toilet paper is usually made by chopping down and grinding up trees that were decades or even a century old. They want Americans, like Europeans, to wipe with tissue made from recycled paper goods. …
Toilet paper is far from being the biggest threat to the world’s forests: together with facial tissue, it accounts for 5 percent of the U.S. forest-products industry, according to industry figures. Paper and cardboard packaging makes up 26 percent of the industry, although more than half is made from recycled products. Newspapers account for 3 percent.
But environmentalists say 5 percent is still too much.
This makes no sense at all. Why spend all of that effort going after toilet paper when the bottom line, so to speak, is that the packaging industry uses almost three times as much unrecycled product? I would agree that we should get the pulp from sustainable resources, at which the industry has agreed to do better, but the net effect will still be to eat at the margins of a much larger problem — especially in the age of Internet commerce, where more transactions get fulfilled in cardboard packaging.
Besides, the environmentalists are attacking the wrong, er, end of the problem. They need to convince the consumers, not the producers, that rougher is better. Toilet paper made from recycled materials is not as pleasing as the normal product, which means that given a choice, people will avoid the former for the latter. The Post’s David Fahrenholtd reports that the environmentalists set up a test for him to prove that there was little difference between the two, which failed.
People understand the difference, and they want comfort and convenience. Many of us have had plenty of experience with recycled-based product, in government or corporate facilities. Those aren’t exactly encouraging experiences, which is why demand remains high for the plush product. Until producers can emulate that with recycled material — or start mandating the elimination of consumer choice, which is the direction they’re going — Americans will not choose to be Europeans in the, er, end.









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Yeah, I don’t really get that either. Is it better to cut down 5 year old trees that haven’t fully grown, or what?
The environmental movement is the reason why I started calling myself a conservationist.
BadgerHawk on September 24, 2009 at 6:22 PM
liquidflorian on September 24, 2009 at 6:16 PM
I was not making a sustainability argument, just stating a fact, we replant more than we harvest. we would be cutting of our nose to spite our face if we did not.
SHARPTOOTH on September 24, 2009 at 6:22 PM
Ah, yes, Giant Sequoia, circa 1412. A fine texture, and very pleasing on the bunghole.
redshirt on September 24, 2009 at 6:23 PM
And, yeah, when trees are apparently not considered a “renewable” resource….
Thanks, public schools!!!
cs89 on September 24, 2009 at 6:24 PM
I think Limbaugh already gave that title to Jimmuh Carter. The National Hemorrhoid.
Oldnuke on September 24, 2009 at 6:24 PM
No worries! I was refering to my comment to Ed, I kinda called him a dumbass… :D
liquidflorian on September 24, 2009 at 6:25 PM
I nominate innominatus for winner of the thread!
Mary in LA on September 24, 2009 at 6:25 PM
Who says toilet humor isnt funny.
I think I needed to go just reading these comments.
Shambhala on September 24, 2009 at 6:25 PM
The enviro wackos are coming after this issue, maybe, because they like the idea of controlling other people and making them live as the wackos do, sore butt and all.
Ride your bike…I do.
Eat tofu…I do. (it’s not bad once in a while)
My lifestyle is good for you. IF you won’t adapt on your own, I will get the local gauleiter and his minions to make sure you do.
Because I am so special and care so much…you should be like me, don’t you see?
Your compliance validates my wisdom. I would be unhappy if unvalidated. I’m supposed to be happy. So do it.
Harry Schell on September 24, 2009 at 6:26 PM
So lorien is a girl? wow that puts an odd twist on all those “id hit it” posts.
Greed on September 24, 2009 at 6:27 PM
I seem to recall from years ago someone with the UN claiming that flush toilets were an environmental disaster as well. There was some push for chemical toilets that followed.
They are so anti-human is insane.
redshirt on September 24, 2009 at 6:28 PM
Nice show of restraint in your word choices. Me, I’d be punning like crazy. Lack of maturity? I would guess so.
troyriser_gopftw on September 24, 2009 at 6:28 PM
Great, then we’ll have bad toilet paper just like all those other Marxist countries that Obama admires.
kingsjester on September 24, 2009 at 6:28 PM
Time for toilet paper made from hemp? It can’t be any more annoying than recycled tp, and hey, it’s a weed.
College Prof on September 24, 2009 at 6:28 PM
I’m pretty sure lorien is a male. That would be an odd twist if he was a she though.
conservative pilgrim on September 24, 2009 at 6:28 PM
HAWT
MadisonConservative on September 24, 2009 at 6:29 PM
Environmentalists simply will not be happy until the human race is on the verge of extinction…this isn’t about saving the planet, it’s about self-loathing
Erich66 on September 24, 2009 at 6:29 PM
Hmm…too much TP….hmmm….see the New York Times sitting on the breakfast table?…hmmm.
kurtzz3 on September 24, 2009 at 6:29 PM
Toilet paper, tampons, condoms, soda, candy, cars, et. al. … Get out of our lives! Control freaks.
conservative pilgrim on September 24, 2009 at 6:29 PM
Yeah but they’re leftists, Ed. Typical leftist play, just look at the gay marriage people. They do not attempt to convince the public, they go straight to the source to force it on unwilling people.
amkun on September 24, 2009 at 6:30 PM
The right to comfortably wipe, I happen to believe, is an inalienable right worthy of constitutional protection.
Hence, I propose the following Amendment to the Constitution:
Congress shall make no laws abridging a citizen’s right to wipe with any material he or she chooses.
TXUS on September 24, 2009 at 6:30 PM
If the environmentalists mandate that we all use crap recycled toilet paper, can I mandate that these environmentalists can lick my a$$ instead?
ICBMMan on September 24, 2009 at 6:30 PM
This story is full of crap!
I am sure this has been said on this thread a dozen times, but I didn’t read the comments so what the heck?
Grafted on September 24, 2009 at 6:31 PM
Break out them thar banana leaves!
pilamaye on September 24, 2009 at 6:31 PM
Maybe this explains the funny smells found where environuts congregate. Well, that and the stuff they smoke.
MikeA on September 24, 2009 at 6:31 PM
Come On Dean. As resident Troll, you can’t just “roll” over on this issue. No “Humans are the plague of Mother Earth”. No landfills or choking sea gulls? No “Save you ass or save the Whales” trade off arguments?
We need a better class of Trolls.
GunRunner on September 24, 2009 at 6:32 PM
This is why I love you guys.
itsacookbook on September 24, 2009 at 6:33 PM
I can’t believe you said tampons LOL!
upinak on September 24, 2009 at 6:34 PM
Just tell him that Israel is our primary source of two-ply. He’ll take up the torch.
MadisonConservative on September 24, 2009 at 6:34 PM
Great, then we’ll have bad toilet paper just like all those other Marxist countries that Obama admires.
kingsjester on September 24, 2009 at 6:28 PM
last i heard cuba was kinda runnin short on tp, i guess it’s a communist thing.
SHARPTOOTH on September 24, 2009 at 6:35 PM
Just one sheet for the wackos. Only bathe on thursday. I enjoy the carbon offsets. Since cancelling the New York times, we indulge in charmin, Puffs and unlimited use of napkins. I always ask for extras at the fast food drive up.
seven on September 24, 2009 at 6:35 PM
Thanks for the love!
Love your nic, btw… classic.
redshirt on September 24, 2009 at 6:35 PM
These people are insane. They wouldn’t even let industry take those millions of trees that blew down in the BWCA a decade ago and decided it made them feel more divine to let those trees remain lying there as fire fuel.
Buddahpundit on September 24, 2009 at 6:36 PM
I give you Demolition Man and the three sea shells.
Three Seashells
Funnily enough I get the impression that the future society in Demolition man is exactly the sort of progressive utopia that the far left would sell their first born to achieve.
Hellrider on September 24, 2009 at 6:37 PM
Haha. It is the most absurd item to tax.
conservative pilgrim on September 24, 2009 at 6:37 PM
Let’s be like eastern europe where you got a 2″ x 4″ piece of paper cut from a magazine.
Blake on September 24, 2009 at 6:38 PM
In the movie Moscow on the Hudson, Robin williams was a Russian Orchestra member. He toured the U.S. and brought a roll of TP back to his girlfriend in Russia, because their TP was so horrible. That’s where we’re heading. And not just the TP.
kingsjester on September 24, 2009 at 6:38 PM
Well it is true. The Dems are rags… they don’t like insertion.
upinak on September 24, 2009 at 6:39 PM
Ouch.
conservative pilgrim on September 24, 2009 at 6:40 PM
OT, bit CJ is after Beck again, and right next to the story, he has an ad for Becks book.
Irony much?
redshirt on September 24, 2009 at 6:41 PM
NEWSFLASH for environmentalists….Trees are RENEWABLE! They grow!
American Elephant on September 24, 2009 at 6:42 PM
What kills me is that, here in Maine, we have 3 times as much forest as we did during the 1860′s. People stopped using it as a primary fuel, most of the farmers moved west after the Civil War and the majority of the mills are gone. Maine and Canada have huge logging concerns, but they replant more than they harvest and, as a result, Maine is the home a vast forested unpopulated areas. In fact, the upper half of the state is almost entirely privately owned by logging and paper companies.
Trees are the ultimate renewable resource. These eco-terrorists really need to get a life.
AW1 Tim on September 24, 2009 at 6:45 PM
Smeging Red Dwarf!
GunRunner on September 24, 2009 at 6:46 PM
Attention Enviro-wackos:
I STILL live in the greatest country on the face of the planet earth. I have the option of buying the fluffiest,softest,most comfortable ass-wipe that money can f-ing buy. I will continue to do so until it can no longer be found, and if you intend to mess with my availability of said asswipe, I will consider that an act of war,and may God have mercy on your soul. I have an EMPTY recycle bin, if it looks like garbage,smells like garbage,and attracts bees like garbage, then it goes in the GARBAGE bin.
Trees, among many things, are a completely renewable resource, and since you enviro-wackos have nothing else to do except fill my children’s head full of crap about “climate change,global warming,or whatever you will call it when the science proves you wrong,go back to the days of jimmy carter,be as usless as you were then, and get the hell out of my way.
UNREPENTANT CONSERVATIVE CAPITOLIST on September 24, 2009 at 6:47 PM
they just don’t want to make Castro look bad
unseen on September 24, 2009 at 6:48 PM
The trees used are planted for this purpose, aren’t they? Thus why they’re called tree farms. Those trees wouldn’t be alive today if it weren’t for people planting them. I just can’t believe that TP makers are cutting down virgin forests.
Even Marilyn Vos Savant, and she’s not conservative, isn’t worried about our use of paper products b/c they come from tree farms.
-Aslan’s Girl
Aslans Girl on September 24, 2009 at 6:48 PM
American Elephant on September 24, 2009 at 6:42 PM
I know! They’re always shoving down our throat that we need to use renewable resources yet they don’t recognize one when it bites them in the – um – butt ;)
-Aslan’s Girl
Aslans Girl on September 24, 2009 at 6:50 PM
Tree harvesting is sustainable and has been so for generations.
toliver on September 24, 2009 at 6:50 PM
In other words, trees planted over the past century, trees planted to be harvested. In northern Michigan, which has no shortage of forest, almost all of which is second and third growth, you can see the pulp wood depots filled with 5″-6″ pine tree trunks. The pulp wood industry likes uniform trees – that makes handling easier. What’s been going on for decades, or even a century, is that the lumbering industry plants a lot more trees than it cuts down.
BTW, studies show that single ply toilet paper is the most economical. While you end up using more squares, you still use less paper overall. A good brand-name single ply that’s soft is the best buy.
It’s interesting, btw, that environmentalists are going after Americans and their toilet paper while ignoring the fact that India is the fastest growing market for TP in the world. Indians are quickly abandoning traditional methods of hygiene in favor of modern toilet paper.
rokemronnie on September 24, 2009 at 6:52 PM
Girl Scout camp was worse!!!!!! A two-holer and John Wayne T.P. Ouch! No wonder I am so messed up!
yoda on September 24, 2009 at 6:52 PM
toliver on September 24, 2009 at 6:50 PM
Yeah, I caught that, too. Sometimes Ed says things that make me scratch my head… and say “huh?”
-Aslan’s Girl
Aslans Girl on September 24, 2009 at 6:53 PM
Is Sheryl Crow behind this crock of crap?
Ryan Gandy on September 24, 2009 at 6:53 PM
Ah yes, a true ‘keeper’.
A ‘cautionary’ tale with tons of un-PC comedy.
Far superior to Idiocracy.
CPT. Charles on September 24, 2009 at 6:54 PM
Maybe Cherly Crow can become toilet paper “Czar”. Limit of 4 squares per day!!
Dire Straits on September 24, 2009 at 6:54 PM
Dire Straits on September 24, 2009 at 6:54 PM
You think she’d be that generous?!
-Aslan’s Girl
Aslans Girl on September 24, 2009 at 6:55 PM
The environmental movement has a long and colorful reputation in the paper industry of facing a choice, whether to make a political statement or to make a more significant impact on “post-consumer pulp.” They’ve unfailingly chosen to make their political statements, over chosing policies that actually do what they claim to want.
Combine that with how the primary expense in the movement appears to be fundraising, and you start to grasp a clear picture of the watermelon crowd. These people don’t give two tin turds for the environment. They are misanthropes, technophobes, and powermongering collectivists who can mouth pieties to fool the rubes. They seem to think that when their policies are enacted, they’ll be in charge. I hope for their own sake that those policies never come to pass – because not ten minutes later, their more ruthless fellow-travellers will have them up against the wall.
Blacksmith on September 24, 2009 at 6:56 PM
nothing bite more then having to go back and re-wipe!
upinak on September 24, 2009 at 6:58 PM
Remember…1 sheet’s the limit!
yoda on September 24, 2009 at 6:58 PM
John Wayne paper as a solution?
Seems a little rough…
catmman on September 24, 2009 at 6:59 PM
Good Point.
Dire Straits on September 24, 2009 at 7:03 PM
TXUS @ 6:30
Constitutional Amendment s/b Constipational Amendment. ;)
24K lady on September 24, 2009 at 7:04 PM
I love it when eco-morons throw themselves into the wood-chipper of public scorn.
It’s almost better than popcorn.
CPT. Charles on September 24, 2009 at 7:05 PM
where is the picture of my wallet?
CWforFreedom on September 24, 2009 at 7:05 PM
I dunno if it’s been asked yet, but, can you wipe with an environmentalist…? I wonder if you steamroll them over and wind ‘em up on a little cardboard (recycled of course) tube, that they’d do the job and save a few trees.
seemed like a valid question to me…
ted c on September 24, 2009 at 7:05 PM
And the sears catalogue.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iUkoje5Q3VQ
Johan Klaus on September 24, 2009 at 7:07 PM
Sounds like a job for Colon Powell.
mrt721 on September 24, 2009 at 7:15 PM
Enviro’s had there way, we’d be using our fingers. No, wait, Kalifornia already has a water shortage.
GarandFan on September 24, 2009 at 7:16 PM
They say we can’t produce our own energy due to a global hoax…
They cut off water from farm land that makes food inexpensive and abundant in lieu of a smelt…
They regulate every aspect of our lives in the name of a religion called ‘Environmentalism’…
… and now they want to tell you what toilet paper you can and can not have.
Anyone else had enough yet…?
Seven Percent Solution on September 24, 2009 at 7:17 PM
I’m sure this has been suggested already but we should help the cause and send all our used toilet paper to this environmental group.
Hey man, we care too!
hisfrogness on September 24, 2009 at 7:18 PM
It’s “Big Paper” I tell ya, and their obscene profits..
chewydog on September 24, 2009 at 7:19 PM
Quaddafi will not have no worries because he can use the notes from his ninety minute speech .. Oh wait that paper was already used. As for Obama; I don’t think the teleprompter would like that too much.
Dire Straits on September 24, 2009 at 7:21 PM
From my
cold deadwet warm fingers!profitsbeard on September 24, 2009 at 7:23 PM
It is time to find out where the leaders of the environmental movements live. Publish that information and let those who have something to say to these folk as some recourse. I think they might see the light if they are approached in the right way. If given the correct choice. Just a thought, but they are threatening our way of live. What is wrong with a little reciprocity?
Zelsdorf Ragshaft on September 24, 2009 at 7:24 PM
They always do because they like to dictate.
As for recycled paper, White Cloud is rather good.
jdkchem on September 24, 2009 at 7:26 PM
Americans won’t choose cast-off cardboard as their toilet paper of choice? Well it just shows how they’re a bunch of selfish adolescents who need Daddy Government to make their decisions and kick them in the (badly chapped) ass. That Chu fellow was spot on.
Maybe it’s time for a stadium execution of Mr. Whipple. That would change some minds.
Cicero43 on September 24, 2009 at 7:26 PM
Two thoughts,buy stock in Metamucil while you can and never touch a muslim’s left hand.
McBride on September 24, 2009 at 7:28 PM
Time to TP the White House?
Let’s Roll!
profitsbeard on September 24, 2009 at 7:31 PM
Save the world, plant a greenie!
OldEnglish on September 24, 2009 at 7:39 PM
The Crap Czar, and the best part is that this czar could handle everyone of Obama’s initiatives.
Buy Danish on September 24, 2009 at 7:40 PM
The enviromentalist polices with requard to brush clearing in forested areas have resulted in the burning almost enough trees and houses to supply the industry for a year or more. But like most socialist, they only look at today without a clue of yesterday or what will be the results down the road in tomorrow.
Franklyn on September 24, 2009 at 7:42 PM
That’s the problem with America. We’ve become SOFT when it comes to TP. Nothing wrong with a 4 pack of Scotts, the regular stuff. It’s 88% “Splinter Free” and it’ll toughen ya up
Jeff from WI on September 24, 2009 at 7:43 PM
I would have volunteered to be Booty Czar,but definately not now.
McBride on September 24, 2009 at 7:44 PM
‘Hemorrhoid Czar’ ahahahahaha…whoever came up with that is a total genius! though, knowing this administration, this isn’t too far fetched! I strongly agree with the post that mentioned the bad toilet paper in ex-Communist countries….I did grow up in one, and oh, boy our toilet paper there was rougher than the most abrazive of sandpapers :-( (P12 or P16 – grit designation that is)…what a relief when I moved west-ward :-) Oh, well, I’d be willing to pay a fine if it all comes down to the enviromental brigade inspecting my bathroom :) …oups, wait a sec, you wouldn’t think…that…they might want to inspect err…oh, boy, I am dismissing this thought as totally repugnant and nightmarish :-( I mean they can’t possibly have pervs in their ranks, can they…:-)
jimver on September 24, 2009 at 7:45 PM
Damn liberals want to control what cleans my butthole too?!?!
Sheesh. I’m gonna have to eat some extra fiber just for them I guess.
Yakko77 on September 24, 2009 at 7:46 PM
Not true, that isn’t how the liberals “roll.” They merely need to convince a majority in Congress to outlaw the plush stuff “for our own good” in much the same way they are going out after our incandescent lightbulbs, our big cars, our choice in fuels for those cars…. need I go on?
highhopes on September 24, 2009 at 7:49 PM
OK, can we start hording TP now? That should be great for the recovery, don’tcha think?
MikeA on September 24, 2009 at 7:52 PM
Let’s remember Sheryl Crowe’s demand that we only use one square for all our business. Combined with this effort at getting rid of the “good stuff” and this initiative could really be effective. I say cut out the concept of TP completely and simply develop green areas similar to dog parks where we can all do our business just like our pets.
highhopes on September 24, 2009 at 7:52 PM
Yesterday the story was that Americans were hoarding ammo. Today this. I’m going have to get a much bigger bunker if we don’t do something soon about the filthy liar in the White House and his corrupt party.
highhopes on September 24, 2009 at 7:54 PM
I don’t think I want to shake the hand of a person that subscribes to the Sheryl Crowe brand of enviro-nutism
Jeff from WI on September 24, 2009 at 7:54 PM
Recycle newspaper, if you still actually buy one, through your bathroom.
Jeff from WI on September 24, 2009 at 7:56 PM
Nice thought. Imagine the screams from the enviro wacko’s over the use of water.
chemman on September 24, 2009 at 7:58 PM
I don’t know about the story, but most of the American’s I know are still hording ammo. I know that in my case, every time I see another of OBama’s commie creeps make some new declaration about how evil and selfish and racist we all are, I go buy another couple hundred rounds. But they are doing that some often now that it is really getting expensive.
MikeA on September 24, 2009 at 7:58 PM
Heck, forget just ‘soft,’ I need lotion in my TP as well.
James on September 24, 2009 at 7:58 PM
Mr. Springfield will have something to say about them trying to inspect my bathroom, light bulbs or energy use.
chemman on September 24, 2009 at 8:00 PM
Ok, ok, let’s face it and get in the environmentalist’s face and shout: ‘You’re nuts’.
Little Nell on September 24, 2009 at 8:02 PM
Liberal unintended consequences: Less toilet paper used means longer washing times for ones underwear, and more Mother Earth hating detergent.
Jeff from WI on September 24, 2009 at 8:02 PM
As a man, I’m ashamed of you! LOLOL
Jeff from WI on September 24, 2009 at 8:03 PM
In things big and small
Our Betters know what is best.
Yield to their wisdom…
Haiku Guy on September 24, 2009 at 8:06 PM
Objection! You’ve introduced unproven facts. What makes you think the tree-huggers going out after TP even wear underwear or know what a bar of soap looks like?
highhopes on September 24, 2009 at 8:08 PM
You learn about TP in my line of work. I’m a “Test Pilot” at the Kohler Toilet Company.
Jeff from WI on September 24, 2009 at 8:10 PM
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