Andrea Mitchell thinks the unthinkable: What if Obama’s teleprompter breaks down tonight?
posted at 5:55 pm on September 9, 2009 by Allahpundit
If you watched SNL during the Will Ferrell years, you already know the answer to this question. Actually, if The One’s fated to have a power outage strike his rhetorical life-support machine, tonight would be the perfect time. He’s already delivered 28 separate speeches devoted exclusively to health care; if you include speeches where he touched on the subject, the number’s 121. His arguments long ago reached the level of rote shtick, interrupted periodically by bizarre digressions about how we need to address the threat of doctors performing unnecessary amputations. So drearily familiar are the talking points by now that I figure it can’t have taken Geraghty more than three minutes, tops, to put this together. Holman Jenkins, writing at the Journal, has the act down so cold that he’s even anticipated the schmaltzy Kennedy-echo applause lines:
We may not get there right away. But by taking these steps, we will bring closer the day when the only form of health care for most Americans will be government-provided health care, and the dream will never die. (Pandemonium among Democrats. Nancy Pelosi daubs her eye.)
Give TOTUS the night off. Pericles should be able to stutter his way through “The time to act is now” on his own.
An interesting question via Karl to mull while you watch: Who, exactly, is the intended audience for this speech? It won’t do much to move Congress, the public’s heard most of it before, and the one truly newsworthy possibility before him — demanding the public option in the final bill — ain’t happening. I think he’s aiming it squarely at the media. The only constituency he can rely on to have an O-gasm over tonight’s “historic moment” is the press; presumably he figures that if they slobber over him enough, that’ll create a “comeback” narrative that will sway undecideds and give him back some momentum. Which means that the success or failure of the most ambitious statist program of the century rests on how bad-ass Obama can manage to look while saying “Yes we can” or whatever. Fitting. Click the image to watch.
Update: I swear I hadn’t seen this NBC post before I wrote the Pericles line.











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Very clever turn of phase, Mr. Allah.
Geochelone on September 9, 2009 at 5:57 PM
phasephraseGeochelone on September 9, 2009 at 5:58 PM
Drudge has a small headline on the top of his page (now in the middle column):
2:15 PM ET: TELEPROMPTER ARRIVES ON HILL…
*snickers*
jennifernaz on September 9, 2009 at 6:00 PM
You nailed it Allah – the intended audience is 100% the media. Because they are the ones who are more than prepared to label it the “game changer,” the proof that the greatest orator of our time is back on his game and ready to lead.
It’s an O-gasm that’s been building for several hot summer months. Gonna be messy.
BardMan on September 9, 2009 at 6:00 PM
I would consider it serendipity.
Fletch54 on September 9, 2009 at 6:00 PM
They seriously have a count-down clock on the bottom of the screen… I hate these people.
Jussi on September 9, 2009 at 6:01 PM
Be it the President or teleprompter,lies don’t care who tells it, as long as it gets told.
Sanjoboy on September 9, 2009 at 6:01 PM
And I’m sure the media will be only too happy to slobber away.
Makes me wonder if they’ve already submitted their post-speech analysis to the administration for approval.
Gator Country on September 9, 2009 at 6:01 PM
beat me to it…snicker indeed
Rogue on September 9, 2009 at 6:01 PM
Jarret looks like a muppet or something. Beaker’s mother?
Caper29 on September 9, 2009 at 6:01 PM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4qsWFFuYZYI&eurl=http%3A%2F%2Face.mu.nu%2F&feature=player_embedded#t=229
Ill have that on loop during the Obama Event.
jharada on September 9, 2009 at 6:02 PM
Why is he giving this speech? It won’t do a damn thing for him unless he ditches the public option and says “Okay” … to Tort reform.
I mean seriously – he has to shake things up with some substance. Don’t tell me he’s just going to put his purty face on TV and expect all to be well?
HondaV65 on September 9, 2009 at 6:02 PM
Major Garrett just said the speech is now 40-45 minutes…without applause.
kingsjester on September 9, 2009 at 6:02 PM
I suppose it’s too much to expect that they’ll be wearing triple condoms.
Gator Country on September 9, 2009 at 6:03 PM
Boy…TOTUS is on the hot-seat now.
AUINSC on September 9, 2009 at 6:03 PM
I will be watching HULU to catch up on some TV shows I’ve missed. I have no interest in what BO has to say.
jbh45 on September 9, 2009 at 6:03 PM
It would be more funny it TOTUS just fell over half way through.
milwife88 on September 9, 2009 at 6:04 PM
they all look like Tom Friedman to me.
rob verdi on September 9, 2009 at 6:04 PM
Why is this historic? He already did a joint address in February and he rambled on about nothing then. How will tonight be different? Will they tie Pelosi down or just go ahead and shove a spring up her butt?
Monica on September 9, 2009 at 6:04 PM
I’m not thinking of the Wake Up And Smile skit… I’m thinking more of Anchorman.
I wouldn’t be surprised if someone changed the final line to “FU, America” and he said it anyway.
teke184 on September 9, 2009 at 6:04 PM
Security for the Presidents’ teleprompter has been ratcheted up to wee’wee’d proportions.
Nobody is allowed within the 12′ radius circle of protection.
portlandon on September 9, 2009 at 6:04 PM
Now THAT is funny…
Seven Percent Solution on September 9, 2009 at 6:05 PM
While a significant number of Americans know it will require a “diaper changer”.
Patrick S on September 9, 2009 at 6:05 PM
Have Teleprompter Will Travel reads the card of the man.
A cipher without a thought of his own in what he’s turning into a bankrupt land.
His ah, oh, umm, loose mouth heeds the calling of a Alinsky wind.
A man without a clue of his own is the cipher called Obamadin.
Obamadin, Obamadin, Where do you roam?
Obamadin, Obamadin, Just be sure to never leave your teleprompter at home.
He travels on to dissemble and deceive whenever he feels he must
His yearning for power is his guiding lust
These are legends that themselves do spin
Of the Ventriloquist Alinksy’s dummy
Of the cipher called Obamadin
Obamadin, Obamadin, Where do you roam?
Obamadin, Obamadin, Just be sure to never leave your teleprompter at home.
MB4 on September 9, 2009 at 6:05 PM
I’ll be taking a red pill to get through the evening.
myrenovations on September 9, 2009 at 6:06 PM
We have all heard the Obamunist lie to the nation before.
He has zero cred.
Geochelone on September 9, 2009 at 6:07 PM
If TOTUS dies, Bama will dissolve. Maybe this whole bad dream will end and I will wake up. Please Lord, let it be so.
Harry Schell on September 9, 2009 at 6:07 PM
McChimpyObamaBurton
Topsecretk9 on September 9, 2009 at 6:07 PM
TOTUS! Oh how I’ve missed you. Hope you don’t crack under the pressure.
lawtwin on September 9, 2009 at 6:08 PM
If TOTUS goes south, he’ll pop the tops off them Dumbo ears and put the Vulcan mind meld on our asses…
Wyznowski on September 9, 2009 at 6:08 PM
the megalomaniac narcicist to address his adoring believers
pathetic
gatorboy on September 9, 2009 at 6:08 PM
Oh please let a glitch happen to TOTUS today. I need a laugh.
cubachi on September 9, 2009 at 6:08 PM
I remember when Bush went before Congress and held up that policeman’s badge that had belonged to a victim of 9/11. Now there was a reason to have a speech before the country, but Obama is just wearing us all out.
I have never seen any president spend so much time in front of a camera. It feels as if he has been president forever.
Terrye on September 9, 2009 at 6:09 PM
lol, good post allahp.
bridgetown on September 9, 2009 at 6:09 PM
You GOTTA be kidding me. Well that confirms it – the speech is for 1) Obama himself and 2) the media.
BardMan on September 9, 2009 at 6:09 PM
so is this like the most historic speech evah to the power of 24 trillion or something?
gatorboy on September 9, 2009 at 6:09 PM
There is nothing wrong with your coming life. Do not attempt to adjust your income. My teleprompter and I will control your income. If we wish to make you richer, we will lift up your income. If we wish to make you poorer, we will crush you with taxes. Do not attempt to live your own life. We will control your life. If we wish we can reduce your life to a living Hell by selling you and/or your children to China or Saudi Arabia, or sharpen it to Heavenly socialist wonderfulness. We will control your ups. We will control your downs. For the next
four eight twelve sixteen twenty twenty four twenty eight thirty twothirty six years, sit quietly and obediently and we will control all that you see, hear and feel. You are about to experience theclawawe andmiserymystery which reaches from the innerdeliriummind to THE OBAMA SOCIALIST FASCIST NATION UNLIMITED.- The One
MB4 on September 9, 2009 at 6:10 PM
TOTUS, don’t let me down….
tatersalad on September 9, 2009 at 6:10 PM
Maybe they do read you Allah…and thought, “hey, that’s a great idea!”
AUINSC on September 9, 2009 at 6:10 PM
Let’s all make Dancing with the Stars the most watched TV program of the year tonight.
lawtwin on September 9, 2009 at 6:11 PM
If the telepromter breaks and Obamy has to take a dump….what does he do?
Can he find his way to the bathroom?
notagool on September 9, 2009 at 6:12 PM
Sorry, but I would rather watch Obama get naked and sweaty with Andrea Mitchel, than watch one of those reality dancing shows.
myrenovations on September 9, 2009 at 6:12 PM
It’s all he’s got. It’s all he’s ever had. He has no ability to lead, no ability or experience to govern. 52% elected him because he could stand before a crowd and look good and sound good. Now that they don’t like/see through what he’s saying, his only option is to stand up there and say it some more. The cat’s out of the bag, the horse is out of the barn, the bird’s flown the coop… but nobody has bothered to tell him the jig is up… so he will just keep talking and talking and talking like that vacuum salesman you can’t get out of your living room.
UnderstandingisPower on September 9, 2009 at 6:12 PM
NBC, CBS, CNN, ABC (minus Tapper) can all have their circle jerk. I’ll take my dog to the park.
stldave on September 9, 2009 at 6:13 PM
Here’s the famous Will Ferrell Wake Up and Smile SNL video.
aquaviva on September 9, 2009 at 6:13 PM
remember when Big Dawg’s TelePrompTer had the wrong speech and he did that Congressional Address from his memory? good times
TOTUS is no Big Dawg
ginaswo on September 9, 2009 at 6:13 PM
lawtwin on September 9, 2009 at 6:11 PM
Not even for this cause will I watch that show….
catlady on September 9, 2009 at 6:13 PM
When (Bill) Clinton’s teleprompter broke, he continued on, as if nothing at all had happened.
When Obama’s fails, will the same ‘intellectuals’ who questioned “who’s Palin’s ghost-writer?” ask “who’s Obama’s speaker?”
Schadenfreude on September 9, 2009 at 6:14 PM
I can’t handle 40-45 seconds of the stool. I guess I’ll chop firewood and listen to the ballgame on the radio.
thomasaur on September 9, 2009 at 6:14 PM
hondav65, I predict TOTUS gives a bit on tort reform to get the GOP on board
BUS meet the Trial Lawyers
Trial Lawyers, finally YOU are unda da bus
ginaswo on September 9, 2009 at 6:16 PM
Valerie Jarret looks like a monchichi. A little leftist monchchi. http://serialdrama.typepad.com/photos/uncategorized/2008/03/30/monchichi.jpeg
elduende on September 9, 2009 at 6:16 PM
I thought he was giving this speech in the Hall of Mirrors – that would be much more appropriate, no?
pcpower1 on September 9, 2009 at 6:17 PM
I am sure there are lots of bots working to make sure TOTUS performs, but how beautiful of a sight would it be to see TOTUS screw up? Obama will be LOST! Dancing with the Stars baby!!!! Who is on it?
immigrantchick on September 9, 2009 at 6:18 PM
Don’t forget the channeling of Ted “scuba driver” Kennedy.
Blake on September 9, 2009 at 6:18 PM
If this happens I will return to church. I swear to GOD!
SouthernGent on September 9, 2009 at 6:19 PM
I think that will happen regardless. The last couple of times FOX has chosen to air regular programming over The One’s speeches, they have won the ratings quite handily.
You would think The One would learn from that but that would require some self-reflection and fact-checking…
jennifernaz on September 9, 2009 at 6:19 PM
Obama has released a copy of his speach to lefty websites, including Huff Po.
Here’s the link
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/09/09/obama-health-care-speech_n_281265.html
I don’t see a word about a public option…just ‘exchanges’, which i think means ‘co-ops’.
And as predicted, he casts all doubters as partisan hacks and obstuctionists. Not a word of ‘we understand you might think we should be saving money right now instead of spending a trillion more.” He’s a clown.
DrW on September 9, 2009 at 6:19 PM
He’s not going to try to fool us again and put the 58′ Jumbotron behind all the reporters?
Caper29 on September 9, 2009 at 6:20 PM
You nailed it.
rrpjr on September 9, 2009 at 6:20 PM
It’s actually So You Think You Can Dance that’s airing tonight.
Dancing with the Stars airs in a couple of weeks.
I know you were all concerned. :-)
jennifernaz on September 9, 2009 at 6:20 PM
If “time to act is now” why wait until 2013 to implement it. It the same “limited offer , buy now!” shtick as porkulus.
the_nile on September 9, 2009 at 6:21 PM
I’m with the left wing loons, go for the public option and no bill without it, it will be the demise of Obama.
lavell12 on September 9, 2009 at 6:22 PM
Circuses got big tents, you know.
the_nile on September 9, 2009 at 6:22 PM
Shame on you for doing these “American” things while your President needs your utmost attention…..Where’s your dedication to hope and change?
Rovin on September 9, 2009 at 6:22 PM
After reading the excerpts of the speech, it seems that this is intended to convince the left that the public option is dead, and that co-ops are the way to go.
Lefties heads are exploding at HP this very minute.
DrW on September 9, 2009 at 6:23 PM
Ooooooh. I wonder who wrote this. Way to harpoon ‘em after they took your bait!
hoosiermama on September 9, 2009 at 6:23 PM
OT: What this farce of a POTUS should be focused on. Where are the jobs? Obama’s recoveryless recovery…
http://market-ticker.denninger.net/archives/1418-The-Governments-Effort-Has-Failed.html
elduende on September 9, 2009 at 6:23 PM
We’ve heard this speech before. Man, talk about one trick ponies. I’d like to send the WH an email after he’s done telling him to FU and that I am sick of his threats.
Blake on September 9, 2009 at 6:23 PM
Circuses got big tents, you know.
the_nile on September 9, 2009 at 6:22 PM
Don’t say “big tent”. Terryonline will show up.
kingsjester on September 9, 2009 at 6:23 PM
I most fervently hope that no president ever again seeks to nationalize our health care insurance industry.
Wow. I support something Obama said.
RushBaby on September 9, 2009 at 6:24 PM
I have a feeling that TOTUS and TOTUS 2.0 are part of the vast, right wing, domestic terrorist, angry mob. These two subversives will do their thing and yet again, the president will stumble over his own stupidity and fail. Again.
HornetSting on September 9, 2009 at 6:25 PM
I see a time of reckoning arising
I see trouble for him on the way
I see earthquakes and lightnin’
I see bad times for Obama coming into play
He lost his teleprompter tonight
Well, it’s bound to take his oratorical life
A time of reckoning is on the rise
I hear hurricanes ablowing
I know Obama’s dictatorial end is coming soon
I see rivers of tea over flowing
I hear the voice of rage that will lead to his ruin
He lost his teleprompter tonight
Well, it’s bound to take his oratorical life
A time of reckoning is on the rise
All right!
Hope he’s got his things together
Hope he is quite prepared for his star to die
Looks like he’s in for nasty weather
One eye is taken for an eye.
He lost his teleprompter tonight
Well, it’s bound to take his oratorical life
A time of reckoning is on the rise
He lost his teleprompter tonight
Well, it’s bound to take his oratorical life
A time of reckoning is on the rise
MB4 on September 9, 2009 at 6:25 PM
When did Rod Stewart get a show on MSNBC?
V15J on September 9, 2009 at 6:25 PM
She is the camel
nosetoe that will not stay put. :(HornetSting on September 9, 2009 at 6:26 PM
Piper , Sarah tells her not to upset the Whitehouse but she just wont listen.
the_nile on September 9, 2009 at 6:26 PM
Yep, now is the time to be reminding an angry American public that we are being ruled by a bunch of douchebag family dynasties. You know, the same kinds of people who have gotten us into this mess and now they demand that we shut up while they fix it.
myrenovations on September 9, 2009 at 6:26 PM
It’s the one case where I would be in favor of the government pulling the plug on a life support machine.
Scrappy on September 9, 2009 at 6:27 PM
What ever they call it – public plan or co-ops or exchanges, it is the same: mandatory government controlled healthcare. No, thanks.
Blake on September 9, 2009 at 6:27 PM
….And if you come in with anything other than a Trojan Horse for a Single Payer Option I’ll send you to your room without your supper. Tough love and all that, you contemptible, childish Plebes.
Buy Danish on September 9, 2009 at 6:27 PM
Oh someone poke out my minds eye.
Dude really? Some of those female dance instructors are hot.
Greed on September 9, 2009 at 6:28 PM
One thing is certain, if he does manage to pass the load of garbage they are considering, he won’t be the last president to deal with it. Because not to far down the road it will be a failing monstrosity that will require severe “reform”.
Scrappy on September 9, 2009 at 6:29 PM
Just remember this as he rails against the health insurance industry…..these businesses operate around a 3% profit margin. So this is what it has all come to. We are now at a time and place where politicians can rail against a 3% profit margin and label it obscene. And they do it with a straight face.
This is also a point that I use to hammer my leftie thinking friends with. The savings they pretend are there aren’t there. Sure they pay people a lot and there are always going to be enough anectodal examples of things that can be done better when you are talking about businesses of this scale. But the government is going to be exponentially much WORSE when it comes to efficiency. They’ll pay MORE beuracrats and will add ADDITIONAL layers of inefficiency to the process. In large part, simply because they don’t have to worry about profit. They can make it come out of our wallets.
Obama is after 3% profit margins within months of inauguration. THAT’s what is obscene.
stldave on September 9, 2009 at 6:30 PM
Ya’ll stop pickin’ on Larry. -_*
thomasaur on September 9, 2009 at 6:32 PM
Rope and Chains have made it an economic necessity to burn wood for heat.
thomasaur on September 9, 2009 at 6:33 PM
Somebody got the SRM talking points early! ;-)
conservative pilgrim on September 9, 2009 at 6:35 PM
We could not be so lucky.
mchristian on September 9, 2009 at 6:37 PM
Notice that he dropped the idea of saving money. now he’s up to ‘slowing the growth of health care costs’
Phoenician on September 9, 2009 at 6:37 PM
Is it just me, or is the shape of Andrea Mitchell’s face the inverse shape of Ogabe’s butt cheeks?
TugboatPhil on September 9, 2009 at 6:38 PM
What would happen? Comedy gold!
PrincipledPilgrim on September 9, 2009 at 6:39 PM
We’ll have the Fox Dances with whatever on, with the sound off on one of the TV’s here in the house. Never watch that drivel. Just my way of protesting and contributing to the ratings against Teh Won.
I refuse to watch Teh Won once again denigrate and impugn those of us who happen disagree with his perceived socialist mandate.
FU, Mr. President. Have a nice remainder of your single term in office.
techno_barbarian on September 9, 2009 at 6:40 PM
How many people will know the tune for that?
Cindy Munford on September 9, 2009 at 6:41 PM
I hope Barak Obama(‘s teleprompter) fails.
- The Cat
MirCat on September 9, 2009 at 6:41 PM
Thank you for that especially, MB4. Top of the chart.
NaCly dog on September 9, 2009 at 6:46 PM
MSM post speech script is already to go:
“Truly awe inspiring”
“The President has his game back”
“Vintage Obama”
“Simply Electrifying”
“SCHOOchildren should be required to watch this speech.”
“I wish I could marry him!”
“JFK & Reagan were garbage compared to his speaking ability”.
My Lord, Dear Leader, I’ll follow you forever”
“Both my legs quivered tonight, I think I’m going to wet myself!”
“Take That Beck!”
Jeff from WI on September 9, 2009 at 6:51 PM
I thought there were 114 senators, two from each state.
rjoco1 on September 9, 2009 at 6:51 PM
Funny how the ‘necks that supported a fool who stammered like the guy from Slngblade and hid from the press and the public like the cowardly Male Cheerleader that he was now criticize Obama’s speaking skills and overall intelligence. It’s a good thing that America doesn’t need the ‘necks any more – they’re getting dumber by the day.
simplesimon on September 9, 2009 at 6:55 PM
The suspense will be killing me…. I hope I don’t need government health care to revive myself!
WyoMike on September 9, 2009 at 6:58 PM
simplesimon: what are you talking about?
kelley in virginia on September 9, 2009 at 6:59 PM
During the Hillarycare speech in ’93(?), the teleprompter worked fine. George Stephanopoulos loaded the wrong speech and had to scramble to get the correct speech loaded, while Bill Clinton winged it. The incompetence continues. I don’t think Obama could match the performance.
Grunch42 on September 9, 2009 at 7:03 PM
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