Roundtable: Should we let a minotaur interrogate detainees?
posted at 7:12 pm on August 27, 2009 by Allahpundit
Everyone hates the minotaur until it’s their mom hanging out the window of the 110th floor. Ah well. Human nature, my friends.
I wonder, which mythical creature best represents our new, more enlightened technique of interrogating terrorists? Read this before answering. Tribbles, maybe?
There are 19 approved techniques in the [Army field] manual, last updated in 2006. The manual, which Obama designated as the standard for interrogations when he took office, prohibits techniques like waterboarding, electric shock, forced nudity, mock executions and other acts. …
Charles Stimson, who as the former deputy assistant defense secretary for detainee affairs worked on the 2006 revision of the field manual, said the administration is expected to consider other techniques…
Stimson is opposed to waterboarding and other “enhanced interrogation techniques” that were employed under the Bush administration. But he said other methods — for instance, lying — should be at the disposal of interrogators. He said any new methods that are devised or approved should stay classified.
While “lying” might seem like an obvious interrogation method, the Army Field Manual only approves it in very specific circumstances.
Under the “we know all approach,” interrogators are allowed to “subtly” convince the prisoner that they know what he or she knows. This can be complemented by the “file and dossier” approach, in which interrogators present a “file” to a prisoner that appears to be much bigger than it really is, by being “padded with extra paper” and other decorations.
Also endorsed by the field manual: The silent treatment, in case one of our boys has to crack KSM by getting into a staring contest with him or something. Exit quotation: “Some mild criticism aside, the report says the CIA ‘invested immense time and effort to implement the [program] quickly, effectively, and within the law’; that the agency ‘generally provided good guidance and support’; and that agency personnel largely ‘followed guidance and procedures and documented their activities well.’ So where’s the scandal?”
Is Using A Minotaur To Gore Detainees A Form Of Torture?









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Should we let a minotaur interrogate detainees?
Only if after the Minotaur’s mask is removed revealing Michelle Obama or Henry Waxman.
portlandon on August 27, 2009 at 7:17 PM
Wait a tic,thats in operation right now!
Obama has been torturing Americans for the
last six months!!
He’s been TORTURE LYING!!!!!!!!!!!!!
canopfor on August 27, 2009 at 7:18 PM
“Consultant, The Consulting Foundation”
Love it.
Weight of Glory on August 27, 2009 at 7:19 PM
We’ll all be killed if we remain at the mercy of Obama’s “wet noodle” interrogation unit. This poor Republic is very, very sick.
rplat on August 27, 2009 at 7:21 PM
Michelle isn’t wearing a mask.
csdeven on August 27, 2009 at 7:22 PM
Should we let a minotaur interrogate detainees?
Only if after the Minotaur’s mask is removed revealing Michelle Obama or Henry Waxman.
portlandon on August 27, 2009 at 7:17 PM
portlandon: Ahem,thats Barny Franks territory!
He has had a similar operation,of a questionable
nature in his own basement!!:)
canopfor on August 27, 2009 at 7:22 PM
So the black panthers broke the Geneva convention and the field manual.
How about those crickets we keep hearing , are those too torture.
the_nile on August 27, 2009 at 7:23 PM
Minotaur, meh. My sister ran into one in a drainage culvert near York, Nebraska, two years ago. She kicked its ass.
whitetop on August 27, 2009 at 7:25 PM
Obama is the Pussietaur.
Defanged, spineless, toothless and only able to whine like a baby and throw like a girl.
(Momjeans optional.)
profitsbeard on August 27, 2009 at 7:25 PM
Meanwhile,back in in the caves of Afghanistan,
the Jihadys gather to discuss Obama’s torturing
techniques!
After a debate of their own techniques,they all
come to an agreement that cutting off heads is
still the best method for interrogating!!!
canopfor on August 27, 2009 at 7:26 PM
Is the threat of a special prosecutor an attempt at getting death panels made law?
fourdeucer on August 27, 2009 at 7:26 PM
Crap,forgot(Sarc)tag!
canopfor on August 27, 2009 at 7:26 PM
This one?
Weight of Glory on August 27, 2009 at 7:27 PM
Rolled up newspapers are out?
It’s like 9/11 never happened.
My liberal friends and co-workers insist that 9/11 was just a “lucky” attack and we’ve overreacted. Well, the “neocons” took advantage of the attack and us sheep-brained conservatives panicked and went along with the scare tactics.
Yeah, they believe all of this.
It shows.
SteveMG on August 27, 2009 at 7:28 PM
Let me get this straight. Cops are allowed to lie with impunity in interrogations of citizens but it’s bad to lie to suspected terrorists?
obladioblada on August 27, 2009 at 7:28 PM
If they don’t answer our questions immediately, Barney Frank will personally throw a hissy-fit.
GarandFan on August 27, 2009 at 7:29 PM
The horrors of all horrors…………
…………. The minotaur silent treatment!!!
Seven Percent Solution on August 27, 2009 at 7:31 PM
Is the minotaur halal? That’s the most important concern.
innominatus on August 27, 2009 at 7:31 PM
I recall Sen. Dick Durbin saying that having terrorists listen to rap music was torture so vile that it was reminiscent of Nazi Germany.
I can’t say that I necessarily disagree… but what types of music should interrogators be allowed to play?
malclave on August 27, 2009 at 7:31 PM
A bit off topic… but if we are going to let a minotaur interrogate detainees, surely we can allow A CHORUS LINE to administer our healthcare.
Enjoy!
singlemalt_18 on August 27, 2009 at 7:31 PM
A couple of weeks ago there was a “study” about how we should deal with any potential Zombie problem…hit them hard was the conclusion.
I just wonder if we capture a Zombie, could we use a Minotaur to interrogate them? Would that be torture…I mean if they’re already dead, right?
Blaise on August 27, 2009 at 7:32 PM
yes, along as cerebus is allowed to bark at the detainees.
rob verdi on August 27, 2009 at 7:33 PM
We should simply stop taking prisoners.
Rebar on August 27, 2009 at 7:33 PM
Tinkerbell? Tooth Fairy?
BobMbx on August 27, 2009 at 7:35 PM
How about Barry Manilows’ Greatest Hits on loop?
BobMbx on August 27, 2009 at 7:36 PM
Forget the Minotaur–we need Trogdor to interrogate terror suspects.
robblefarian on August 27, 2009 at 7:36 PM
Mythical creature? A fiscally conservative Democrat.
amerpundit on August 27, 2009 at 7:37 PM
Interrogator: Ahmed, tell Mohammed to tell me where the attack will take place.
Ahmed: Tell him where the attack will take place.
Mohammed: No. Tell him he’s an infidel.
Ahmed: He says you are an…
Interrogator: Yes, I heard him; I’m the one doing the silent treatment. Tell him I won’t speak to him for another 24 hours if he doesn’t tell me.
Disturb the Universe on August 27, 2009 at 7:39 PM
Yeah, but this is the one we want!
Or better yet, this one.
I think we have something closer to this.
CPL 310 on August 27, 2009 at 7:40 PM
Unicorns will apologize to the man-made disaster-makers, give them free healthcare and life-time memberships in the SEIU.
/s
ROCnPhilly on August 27, 2009 at 7:41 PM
If the U.S. used minotaurs the War on Terror would have been over already.
terryannonline on August 27, 2009 at 7:43 PM
When dealing with CIA I’m one for don’t ask don’t tell.
- The Cat
P.S. Please don’t kill me Mr. Minotaur.
MirCat on August 27, 2009 at 7:45 PM
I feel obligated to say that I think Dick Cheney is one cool dude.
terryannonline on August 27, 2009 at 7:45 PM
Minotaur is not a signatory to the Geneva Convention, no holds barred.
Captain America on August 27, 2009 at 7:47 PM
All this Camelot , round table stuff . Mordred Hussein Obama ?
borntoraisehogs on August 27, 2009 at 7:50 PM
O/T: If anyone cares (yeah right) I probably won’t be on HA for a long time. Taking an indefinite break so I can focus on more important matters. I’ll miss some of your witty incisive insightful comments, but I shall overcome. Sorry about putting this here, there was no better place for it and I figured probably at least somebody would care.
OneGyT on August 27, 2009 at 7:51 PM
OT: Beck over 3 million viewers last night at 5 pm est
theTarCzar on August 27, 2009 at 7:51 PM
The Minotaur is essential to our market economy.
Rambotito on August 27, 2009 at 7:51 PM
Sleeping with the lights on tonight, than you very much.
Weight of Glory on August 27, 2009 at 7:51 PM
JustTruth101 on August 27, 2009 at 7:53 PM
I wonder, which mythical creature best represents our new, more enlightened technique of interrogating terrorists?
This one?
Weight of Glory on August 27, 2009 at 7:27 PM
Weight of Glory:I think you nailed it!!haha:)
canopfor on August 27, 2009 at 7:53 PM
Been a fan of the Onion for a long time…really love the Onion Radio Network with Doyle Redland stuff…
These things look like they take some $$$ to produce…is the Onion that successful??
I know I got a couple of the ‘Holy $hit, Man Walks on the $*%(ing Moon’ tee shirts awhile back…but really!!!
Funny story…I gave one to my cousin, and he wore it when we went golfing one time…the dude from the clubhouse came out and told him to either take it off or put it on inside out. My cousin got out his pitching wedge and planted it right in the guy’s forehe….
wait…never mind….
BigWyo on August 27, 2009 at 7:56 PM
Also endorsed by the field manual: The silent treatment
Interrogator: Ahmed, tell Mohammed to tell me where the attack will take place.
Ahmed: Tell him where the attack will take place.
Mohammed: No. Tell him he’s an infidel.
Ahmed: He says you are an…
Interrogator: Yes, I heard him; I’m the one doing the silent treatment. Tell him I won’t speak to him for another 24 hours if he doesn’t tell me.
Disturb the Universe on August 27, 2009 at 7:39 PM
Disturb the Universe : That sounds about right!!hehe:)
canopfor on August 27, 2009 at 7:57 PM
I knew fifth graders who would see right through those techniques.
jeanie on August 27, 2009 at 7:58 PM
A black conservative…once conservative they are no longer “black”.
right2bright on August 27, 2009 at 7:59 PM
But then who would take care of the lead garden?
Joe Caps on August 27, 2009 at 8:02 PM
They will be given i-pods with Obama speeches preloaded.
Joe Caps on August 27, 2009 at 8:04 PM
Stay cool, brother!
Joe Caps on August 27, 2009 at 8:08 PM
If the silent treatment doesn’t work, the agent can escalate to “I’m not touching you.”
No wet willies or punch-buggy, though. Those are war crimes.
malclave on August 27, 2009 at 8:09 PM
To hell with the Minotaur…I’ll do it. It’s about saving American lives. To be honest, I’m not concerned with the terrorists rights, or their lives, for that matter.
Sam_I_Am on August 27, 2009 at 8:13 PM
Maybe we should just let the terrorist interview each other.
darwin-t on August 27, 2009 at 8:19 PM
I really think we should be using these creatures for interrogations.
mizflame98 on August 27, 2009 at 8:25 PM
Being skinned alive with a box cutter and a blow torch?
OK, maybe…………..
Exposure to “second hand smoke”??
GOD FORBID!!!!
bannedbyhuffpo on August 27, 2009 at 8:27 PM
Holder needs to be restrained and have a couple of interrogators blow 2nd hand cigar smoke in his face. That’d sure teach him a lesson!
bannedbyhuffpo on August 27, 2009 at 8:43 PM
The Minotaur is like Liberty and Tax Cuts… Works everytime it’s tried.
Empiricist on August 27, 2009 at 8:44 PM
So, Obama actually expects that techniques any SERE graduate can easily resist are going to work in the real world? And, since the Army’s FM 34-52 is unclassified, and available across the internet, our potential and actual enemies are not going to obtain a few copies, study them and develop sound practices to enable complete resistance to the same?
We’ve taken that essential part of successful interrogation out of the equation…the fear of the unknown.
Way to go, Obama.
coldwarrior on August 27, 2009 at 8:51 PM
I saw this in The Matrix. You can’t fool me with this Gestapo crap.
Only if it’s Al Gore…watching An Inconvenient Truth for 24 hours oughta do it.
GnuBreed on August 27, 2009 at 9:17 PM
Unicorns and fairies.
farright on August 27, 2009 at 9:46 PM
Is there something wrong with actually liking the idea of having a minotaur ‘interrogating’ terrorists?
I guess it explains why I can’t follow the sleep deprivation and water boarding is torture arguments.
jhffmn on August 27, 2009 at 9:58 PM
I wanted to make some witty comment about this video and the current state of our overseas contingency operations, but really, I think it’s all been said. “Obama is the Pussietaur” is my favorite. Good job, profitsbeard, good job indeed.
Bru on August 27, 2009 at 10:08 PM
Forget the minotaur!
Send them to a tropical island to become groundskeepers at a golf course!
That will teach ‘em to come clean!
/sarc
SouperConservative on August 27, 2009 at 10:11 PM
Nothing other than the minotaur being a mythical creature that doesn’t really exist.
Bru on August 27, 2009 at 10:11 PM
Good luck to you! When you take the red pill, it is time consuming keeping up all the events. Come back when ready for more. :-)
JustTruth101 on August 27, 2009 at 10:11 PM
Yes, only if the Minotaur is Marianne from True Blood…
AprilOrit on August 27, 2009 at 10:19 PM
Can we get a Porky Pig costume?
daesleeper on August 27, 2009 at 10:21 PM
Problem is they said “Field Manual” and it was naturally assumed they meant “Monster Manual”.
Like you’ve never fought an 11-hit die aberration before… :D
CPL 310 on August 27, 2009 at 10:25 PM
Depends on how many virgin terrorists there are.
Dr. Charles G. Waugh on August 27, 2009 at 10:26 PM
You know what mythical creature I hate? Griffins.
Always walking around with their damned beaks in the air, like they own the joint.
Damn griffins.
madmonkphotog on August 27, 2009 at 10:28 PM
Spine pile?
madmonkphotog on August 27, 2009 at 10:32 PM
I think the absolute best interrogators would be NFL Cheerleaders!!!
Vntnrse on August 27, 2009 at 11:13 PM
Oh did I neglect to mention that I have a game on?….so sorry!!!
Vntnrse on August 27, 2009 at 11:21 PM
I heard those pricks at PETA won’t come out with a statement on the Minotaur and whether he has constitutional rights to a trial.
The ACLU is nowhere to be heard.
Hypocrites.
By the way, on her Facebook, Sarah Palin posted the site of the Minotaur’s defense fund, the “Golden Fleece Fund” and mentioned it is a travesty that a patriot like him would be treated like this after his years of professional and dedicated service.
Sapwolf on August 27, 2009 at 11:38 PM
If they don’t answer our questions immediately, Barney Frank will personally throw a hissy-fit.
GarandFan on August 27,
Could we threaten them with old Frank spending the night with them in their cell?
Can we use Vince from Sham WOW!
DSchoen on August 27, 2009 at 11:38 PM
Seems like the best bet right about now but the idea of a minotaur interrogating prisoners is appealing.
Yakko77 on August 27, 2009 at 11:43 PM
God I wish we had a Minotaur.
munchnstuf on August 28, 2009 at 12:38 AM
Ask and ye shall receive!
http://www.amazon.com/Minotaur-Plush-Greek-Mythology-Monster/dp/B000HE9WGM
CPL 310 on August 28, 2009 at 12:43 AM
Maybe Clinton was right-turn these terrorists over to the domestic police departments. Sounds like they have more latitude in interrogating burglars than the Feds and the military do with international terrorists.
Seriously. If they hit us again, are we really going to just sit around and complain on the ‘net and wave a few flags?
Dr. ZhivBlago on August 28, 2009 at 1:02 AM
Actually, after reading the whole Fox News story on what the Army Field manual does and does not allow, I think a nine year-old can resist the interrogation techniques.
Here’s what it says on (horrors!) the “silent treatment”:
“When employing this technique, the (interrogator) says nothing to the source, but looks him squarely in the eye, preferably with a slight smile on his face,” the guide says, urging the interrogator not to be the first to break eye contact.
Slight smile? Puh-leeze!
Rightwingguy on August 28, 2009 at 1:02 AM
If only SERE school was this easy.
Rightwingguy on August 28, 2009 at 1:04 AM
See this related parody: “Justice Department Announces New Interrogation and Detention Policies” http://optoons.blogspot.com/2009/05/justice-department-announces-new.html
Mervis Winter on August 28, 2009 at 3:33 AM
I’m a retired LEO and I spent several years as a Detective Sergeant. To everyone who said the police have more leeway than the Army Field Manual, you’re absolutely right. I don’t even know where to begin on this. I think the biggest problem is going to a law enforcement mode, as opposed to a warfare/anti-terrorism mode. The motivation and mind set of the two groups is totally different. These people aren’t criminals in the usual sense, athough what they do can be classified as criminal. They’re terrorists and should be dealt with as such. Their status is explicitly covered in the Geneva Conventions and that’s how they should be handled. This whole thing is just crazy, and it will come back to bite us in the future.
Dan859 on August 28, 2009 at 7:05 AM
Mask? I thought that was Michelle.
Jeff from WI on August 28, 2009 at 7:23 AM
Couldn’t be a unicorn because that long pointy horn might unnecessarily frighten those hardened terrorists. Couldn’t be a care bear cause of those claws. I too go for the fairy option.
eaglewingz08 on August 28, 2009 at 10:27 AM
I think second hand pixie dust might cause cancer, so that’s out.
jhffmn on August 28, 2009 at 11:06 AM
Can’t help but think of this Monty Python sketch when I think of Obama’s interrogation methods:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CSe38dzJYkY
Mig on August 28, 2009 at 11:19 AM
Hmmmm.
Staring contests? I wonder if other childhood games are allowed like thumb-wrestling.
Or patty-cake.
memomachine on August 28, 2009 at 6:40 PM