I just thought I’d share a few pearls of wisdom from Michael Moore, along with some helpful commentary from yours truly:

[GM's] decision to build cars that would fall apart after a few years so that the customer would then have to buy a new one — has now made itself obsolete. It refused to build automobiles that the public wanted, cars that got great gas mileage, were as safe as they could be, and were exceedingly comfortable to drive. Oh — and that wouldn’t start falling apart after two years. GM stubbornly fought environmental and safety regulations.

Well, when your overpaid labor goons on the assembly line are eating up the majority of your costs, and any attempt to rein in labor costs gets you debilitating strikes and riots, how the hell else are you going to turn a profit?

And it was hell-bent on punishing its unionized workforce, lopping off thousands of workers for no good reason other than to “improve” the short-term bottom line of the corporation. Beginning in the 1980s, when GM was posting record profits, it moved countless jobs to Mexico and elsewhere, thus destroying the lives of tens of thousands of hard-working Americans.

Again, you idiot…when your choice is between assembly workers getting above-market wages and gold-plated benefits that exist nowhere else but government, and Mexican workers who will happily take a market-wage job as opposed to seeing their family starve, who is any half-intelligent businessman going to pick? Perhaps if the unions came down to earth for once they might actually be competitive with cheaper Mexican labor.

But you and I and the rest of America now own a car company! I know, I know — who on earth wants to run a car company? Who among us wants $50 billion of our tax dollars thrown down the rat hole of still trying to save GM? Let’s be clear about this: The only way to save GM is to kill GM.

So the champion of the poor, tread-upon union worker wants to see them all out of a job. The hypocrisy is staggering.

Just as President Roosevelt did after the attack on Pearl Harbor, the President must tell the nation that we are at war and we must immediately convert our auto factories to factories that build mass transit vehicles and alternative energy devices.

And magic unicorns that fart Skittles that grow cars that run on sunshine and corporate executive blood. Did this guy get hit over the head at age five and is now mentally stuck there?

Don’t put another $30 billion into the coffers of GM to build cars. Instead, use that money to keep the current workforce — and most of those who have been laid off — employed so that they can build the new modes of 21st century transportation.

So let’s take a workforce that only knows how to build cars, put them to work in factories that are only designed to produce cars, and have them build technology THAT DOESN’T EVEN FRIGGIN’ EXIST YET.

For the time being, have some factories build hybrid or all-electric cars (and batteries). It will take a few years for people to get used to the new ways to transport ourselves, so if we’re going to have automobiles, let’s have kinder, gentler ones.

Yes, only a few short years of skyrocketing food prices, mass starvation and 40% unemployment because no one can afford to transport anything, anywhere…while we develop a technology insufficient for the needs of our economy. If this guy wasn’t as big as Mars I’d say he’s from there.

To help pay for this, impose a two-dollar tax on every gallon of gasoline. This will get people to switch to more energy saving cars or to use the new rail lines and rail cars the former autoworkers have built for them.

Goodbye airline industry. Goodbye trucking industry. Hello food shortages. I wonder how much we’ll manage to collect from this awesome new tax when NO ONE WILL BE BUYING ANY FRIGGIN GASOLINE?!

100 years ago this year, the founders of General Motors convinced the world to give up their horses and saddles and buggy whips to try a new form of transportation. Now it is time for us to say goodbye to the internal combustion engine.

And in 2009 we won’t have to be convinced. We’ll just stop driving cars at the point of a gun and the threat of unaffordable, inefficient “clean” cars. Of course, we’ll still need those heavy-duty limos and SUVs to cart Mike’s big ass around, but you see…he’s the champion of the people. We can forgive his carbon footprint.

TheMightyMonarch on June 1, 2009 at 7:47 PM