Comedy gold: “Total Eclipse of the Heart,” the literalist remix
posted at 1:55 pm on May 30, 2009 by Allahpundit
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The A-ha remix was good, the Tears for Fears remix was better, but this tops them both. How could it not? They had an infamously bombastic song and arguably the worst music video ever made to work with. It’s like taking a free throw from half the standard distance aimed at a hoop that’s twice regulation size. Swish.
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Please make it stop! It burns!
Neo on May 30, 2009 at 1:58 PM
b-but… that’s my favorite song ever!
homesickamerican on May 30, 2009 at 1:59 PM
I happen to disagree and thought the TfF was teh suck, myself.
Topsecretk9 on May 30, 2009 at 2:01 PM
My favorite was the Beatles one.
cyclosarin on May 30, 2009 at 2:06 PM
LOL
“the gayest man ever would call this over the top”
blatantblue on May 30, 2009 at 2:07 PM
Thank goodness for a laugh like that to briefly forget about the poop that going to hit the fan over this summer…we are going to need a bigger fan.
WashJeff on May 30, 2009 at 2:07 PM
Favorite line in the song!
WashJeff on May 30, 2009 at 2:09 PM
Here is the Beatles one I mentioned. Penny Lane.
cyclosarin on May 30, 2009 at 2:11 PM
Agreed
great video
I loved when the backup guy went
“DOOO-OOOOUUUCHHEEE BAAAAA-EEE-AAAGS”
blatantblue on May 30, 2009 at 2:11 PM
LOL That’s pretty good.
eforhan on May 30, 2009 at 2:13 PM
Wow, I finally get that song.
pjean on May 30, 2009 at 2:13 PM
Thank God they don’t make video’s like they used to. Wait…
RedbonePro on May 30, 2009 at 2:14 PM
Thanks for the laugh – now I have to watch the rest of them… (the REM one is not funny though) but it does make you realize how douchebaggy these videos are
HawaiiLwyr on May 30, 2009 at 2:15 PM
WTF?
Hal-9000 on May 30, 2009 at 2:16 PM
Holy crap, Allah.
How in the hell did you find that?
BallisticBob on May 30, 2009 at 2:23 PM
Now this is a classic HA post. Thanks, AP, I needed that today.
Weight of Glory on May 30, 2009 at 2:25 PM
That is the funniest video!! Thanks for the laughs!
Oh man. I’m tearing up with all this laughing.
jencab on May 30, 2009 at 2:29 PM
Sullivan had this on yesterday.
Mr. Joe on May 30, 2009 at 2:40 PM
The sad part is that its still better than anything done the last 10 years.
Speedwagon82 on May 30, 2009 at 2:41 PM
This proves AllahP reads Sully. ;)
Now for something RELLY bad.
However did u miss that AllahP?
OW OW OW!
Make it stop!!!!
Now that WAS torture!
;)
strangelet on May 30, 2009 at 2:47 PM
strangelet on May 30, 2009 at 2:47 PM
Scroll down, stupid troll. He covered it last night.
Disturb the Universe on May 30, 2009 at 2:51 PM
I like the song too!
Never seen the video till now though.
lorien1973 on May 30, 2009 at 2:57 PM
What the effin’ crap
That angel guy just felt me up
Thank you HotAir… I needed a laugh.
Shivas Irons on May 30, 2009 at 2:59 PM
I hated that song so much back in the day that I never actually watched the video back then. What the hell was that supposed to be? Does it have anything to do with the real lyrics? I could just listen to the original song, but that’s just not going to happen.
exception on May 30, 2009 at 3:03 PM
But…but…how come that locker room shower scene was so short?
ladyingray on May 30, 2009 at 3:03 PM
Ha, that was pretty good.
conservnut on May 30, 2009 at 3:03 PM
Clever. Wish I had this type of free time on my time.
watson007 on May 30, 2009 at 3:04 PM
I haven’t clicked on the video yet but is that a picture of Arianna Huffington on the blog page?
Cindy Munford on May 30, 2009 at 3:04 PM
I vaguely remember the original playing in the background during some all night super nerd Zork parties. Good times.
Infidoll on May 30, 2009 at 3:05 PM
That’s hilarious….
….really needed the laugh after yesterday.
tru2tx on May 30, 2009 at 3:09 PM
Well, there is the line “the gayest man ever would call this over the top”
I kid AP, I kid! :)
That video always made me think WTF!?!?!
Good find, hahahaha!!
aikidoka on May 30, 2009 at 3:10 PM
Calm down, lady.
Wipe up the drool :D
blatantblue on May 30, 2009 at 3:10 PM
Oh wow! The Beatles!!!! I love Ringo. He’s yummy. Thanks for sharing.
ladyingray on May 30, 2009 at 3:10 PM
my bad, wan’t on yest. ;)
heres my comment response.
And you wonder why you can’t get the youth vote!
;)
strangelet on May 30, 2009 at 3:12 PM
Very clever.
Cindy Munford on May 30, 2009 at 3:12 PM
did the angel guy at the end look kinda like Andy D*ck?
Aggie85 on May 30, 2009 at 3:12 PM
Hows the AP stalking going?
No matter how moronic I find you to be, I cant help but like you for some strange reason.
Maybe because you are obsessed with AP
blatantblue on May 30, 2009 at 3:13 PM
Women love drummers.
I should know. :D
blatantblue on May 30, 2009 at 3:14 PM
That’s just the cold medicine talking….
ladyingray on May 30, 2009 at 3:14 PM
Hey now.
I meant “like” as in, “you’re not so bad.”
blatantblue on May 30, 2009 at 3:16 PM
Well you certainly aren’t “laconic” like Ringo…yep, it must be the drums.
ladyingray on May 30, 2009 at 3:19 PM
Are you implying I am loquacious?
blatantblue on May 30, 2009 at 3:20 PM
I have a theory about this song:
I think Total Eclipse of the Heart has existed since the Middle Ages, and it gets remade every 5-10 years to pass through the generations. Even my grandmother calls this song “old.” But it’s still pretty good.
ashleymatt on May 30, 2009 at 3:21 PM
That was _awesome_! :) :) :) Thanks for the laughs.
Theophile on May 30, 2009 at 3:26 PM
I’m impressed.
ladyingray on May 30, 2009 at 3:27 PM
Thank you.
blatantblue on May 30, 2009 at 3:32 PM
This is like MST3K for music videos. Love it :)
beatcanvas on May 30, 2009 at 3:32 PM
Hey AP -
You should post these videos more often. We really need a good laugh with all the gloom and doom out there….
ladyingray on May 30, 2009 at 3:35 PM
Suddenly I am very glad I never made any music video’s. ;p
doriangrey on May 30, 2009 at 3:37 PM
Best pisstake on the ’80’s, evah.
Thanks, AP.
Meanwhile when you go shower, you’d better take the soap on a rope, because strangelet just might be in the stall waiting for you one day…
Wanderlust on May 30, 2009 at 3:38 PM
Hey, doriangrey, ltns.
Wanderlust on May 30, 2009 at 3:38 PM
Those choir boys are creepy tho.
ladyingray on May 30, 2009 at 3:39 PM
just focus on the shower room guys
blatantblue on May 30, 2009 at 3:40 PM
Makes meh sad.
You see……I remember when AllahP DEFINED cooltown.
Now, not so much.
>:(
strangelet on May 30, 2009 at 3:42 PM
you love him
hey you should check out the facebook group about allah.
couple girls have photos of their chests with shirts that say stuff about him.
maybe you can get in touch with them and make like 10,000 shirts about him and sell them.
…or keep them all for yourself
blatantblue on May 30, 2009 at 3:43 PM
Kampy……
Seven Percent Solution on May 30, 2009 at 3:44 PM
Or that hunky guy who only wants a towel…
ladyingray on May 30, 2009 at 3:45 PM
Check Pink Five on Youtube.
El Coqui on May 30, 2009 at 3:52 PM
I could see that.
AllahP is so heathcliff-wuthering-heights, or mebbe Basil St. John with a Black Orchid (from my moms classic Brenda Starr collection…love of manga runs in my family).
AllahP fangrrls.
Totally.
Still he is nowhere near cooltown n/e more.
You guyz have ruined him. Mebbe conservatism doesn’t kill brain cells, but it hella sure kills cool cells.
strangelet on May 30, 2009 at 3:52 PM
idk
i know more badasses who are conservative than i do liberals
lefties are generally frail and fragile people
blatantblue on May 30, 2009 at 3:54 PM
but i digress
he’s pretty cool town
i cant get a reading on what type of person he is though.
i know he’s sarcastic, but other than that hes kind of hard to get a read on.
perhaps you can investigate
blatantblue on May 30, 2009 at 3:55 PM
Her dove-brain needs AP’s reserve brain-power, to make her halfway cogent. Dumbest troll on HA, no contest.
If AP lowers himself to this, there’s no hope for the world.
Schadenfreude on May 30, 2009 at 3:56 PM
Better than watching Olberdung.
oakpack on May 30, 2009 at 3:57 PM
strangelet on May 30, 2009 at 3:52 PM
Cool is vastly overrated.
Disturb the Universe on May 30, 2009 at 3:57 PM
No Babylon 5 fans around? I expected this to be linked: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nw7TPhjb_7U
kc8ukw on May 30, 2009 at 4:01 PM
Absolutely hilarious, but as someone who was in college back then, Damn Bonnie Tyler was sexy, with that gravelly voice! I often imagined that voice calling out my name while those fingernails………
Teacher in Tejas on May 30, 2009 at 4:05 PM
Thanks Allah. I needed the laugh.
And that was funny. I was hesitant to click on the link though because I do like the original song.
Canadian Infidel on May 30, 2009 at 4:42 PM
ROTFLMAO…. Funny how those of us who actually are cool are always telling our very uncool friends exactly that… ;p
doriangrey on May 30, 2009 at 4:49 PM
“Starring at the swim team gets you killed by a gang of dancing ninja men who know how to twirl”
NeverLiberal on May 30, 2009 at 4:58 PM
I happen to love that song and making fun of its video should be illegal. Illegal. Creative license, man. So many negative vibs.
keep the change on May 30, 2009 at 5:15 PM
AP
You need to get out more.
Push your hands away from the keyboard…..
mountainmanbob on May 30, 2009 at 5:49 PM
Unintentional humor is always the funniest. I’m hella sure of it.
Infidoll on May 30, 2009 at 6:01 PM
That video was on what seemed like every hour back in the early MTV days. It needed to be made fun of.
kahall on May 30, 2009 at 6:06 PM
This is the end all, be all of the literal videos.
myrenovations on May 30, 2009 at 6:08 PM
Cheered me up. Got laid off yesterday. I needed that. Thanks
Sekhmet on May 30, 2009 at 6:16 PM
Emo kid with too much make up.
LOL!!!
pullingmyhairout on May 30, 2009 at 6:22 PM
Two more fav lines:
Blind possessed choir boys…
And I’ve joined the glee club of the damned…
pullingmyhairout on May 30, 2009 at 6:27 PM
sorry about that
blatantblue on May 30, 2009 at 6:32 PM
The A-Ha version is no longer available – due to copyright infringement. I suspect the others will be short lived too.
You can’t have any fun on YouTube any more.
HondaV65 on May 30, 2009 at 6:35 PM
An Abomination Tour de Farce,5*Stars,
two thumbs up.
-USA Today.
canopfor on May 30, 2009 at 6:59 PM
This is the best!
400lb Gorilla on May 30, 2009 at 7:04 PM
Any ideas what you will do? I am gone it the first quarter of next year, best case.
Cindy Munford on May 30, 2009 at 7:26 PM
How in the world can you talk about the literalist videos and neglect Under the Bridge by the Red Hot Chile Peppers? It’s at least as good as the others.
Enjoy.
ynot4tony2 on May 30, 2009 at 7:55 PM
Literalist videos are the best entertainment these ghey 80s videos will ever serve.
Coronagold on May 30, 2009 at 8:05 PM
It has been taken down. :(
Joe Caps on May 30, 2009 at 8:10 PM
Under the Bridge
ynot4tony2 on May 30,2009 at 7:55PM.
ynot4tony2: I’ve never seen it,pretty cool,thank-you for
posting it!:)
canopfor on May 30, 2009 at 8:19 PM
Ugh,posting it,I mean linking it!:)
canopfor on May 30, 2009 at 8:23 PM
I always loved this song (I know all the words) however, I never got the video…….
ctmom on May 30, 2009 at 8:23 PM
Me neither. Until now. The clue is the last scene. Bonny Tyler is a school teacher of some sort.
Which makes it “The ode to Mary Kay Laourneau”.
Heh
Hey, that’s the sort of subliminal messaging the powers that be were feeding children of the eighties.
Sick.
papertiger on May 30, 2009 at 9:11 PM
At least Sting had the good grace to tell the kid “don’t Stand so close to me”.
Bonny didn’t have those scruples.
papertiger on May 30, 2009 at 9:14 PM
This had some L O L for me, much needed, thanks H.A.
Spiritk9 on May 30, 2009 at 10:02 PM
Classic!
txag92 on May 30, 2009 at 10:02 PM
Funny! Thanks AP1
Sekhmet, good luck. I got laid off from Chrysler in 1979 and became a stockbroker so that turned out ok.
Vince on May 30, 2009 at 10:07 PM
My hubby was on HA and played this. Had to log on and say how cool this was! I enjoyed it AP! Thank you so much….I loved Penny Lane, and both of these video’s made my day!! Been working almost full time, 5:30 in the morn, and today I am rested and this made my Day!
sheebe on May 30, 2009 at 10:34 PM
Sekhmet, am sorry to hear this. Will keep you in my prayers.
sheebe on May 30, 2009 at 10:41 PM
You mean your job wasn’t one of those Obama claims he’s “saving” either? I feel ya, Sekhmet, I haven’t worked in 3 months… Sucky part for me is that on paper I was an independent contractor (internet marketing), though I only worked for one guy/company, so I can’t get unemployment. Draining my savings, as Obama hasn’t knocked on my door with a bailout check yet.
Now, back on topic… This song/video was before my time I guess, because I’d never seen the video (have heard the song plenty of times though)… But what the hell was the video supposed to actually have been about? I suppose if I listened closely to the real lyrics it might shed a little light, but still, that was messed up.
RightWinged on May 30, 2009 at 11:50 PM
Cheered me up. Got laid off yesterday. I needed that. Thanks
Sekhmet on May 30, 2009 at 6:16 PM
RightWinged on May 30, 2009 at 11:50 PM
It doesn’t mean much, but both of you are in my thoughts. I wish you both all the best.
On the plus side, this may be a chance to find the next job that will make you happy. I left IT 2 years ago and ended up teaching in South Korea. Aside from threats from North Korea and a wussy in the White House, I couldn’t be happier.
Canadian Infidel on May 31, 2009 at 1:05 AM
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