PETA’s Newest Spokesman?

What does PETA look for in a celebrity spokesperson?  Someone famous, of course.  Well-liked.  Respected.  An established, loyal fan base who want to emulate their idol.  It helps if that person has a public track record of interaction with animals.

So what could go wrong with this?

Michael Vick is in talks to become the new spokesman for PETA.

Yes, you read that correctly. The disgraced one-time NFL superstar serving prison time for funding an illegal dog-fighting ring is primed to do public-service ads for People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals upon his release later this month. According to three people with knowledge of the matter, the proposed endorsement is part of a comprehensive PR scheme aimed at rehabilitating the quarterback’s image and gaining him readmission to the league that banned him from playing.

“I’m familiar with [the plan],” said Dan Shannon, director of youth outreach and campaigns for PETA. “We have been in discussions with Michael Vick, with his management team, about the possibility of him putting out a public-service announcement with PETA when he’s out of jail. We want him to discourage people from taking part in dog-fighting. I can do it until I’m blue in the face and it might not convince anybody. Michael Vick sure can. He can say, ‘Look, I did it, I was wrong, and it ruined my career.’”

My first reaction was bwa-hahahahaha … until I realized they were serious.  Michael Vick as a spokesman for PETA?  Isn’t that like having Jeffrey Dahmer doing spots for vegetarianism?  Jack Abramoff doing PSAs for ethics in government?  Richard Nixon flacking for Memorex?

Simon at Deceiver notes that Vick has less-than-altruistic motives for his proposal:

Just a few months ago, PETA withdrew its previous offer to make Vicks a spokesman, because in exchange he wanted their support for his return to the NFL. Not only did they balk at that, but they demanded that he undergo a brain scan and psychotherapy to determine whether he’s even crazier than Ingrid Newkirk. …

Seems like a perfect match. But can pretending to be sorry, on behalf of a group that’s killed way more pets than he ever did, resurrect that career?

I thought Simon was exaggerating about the brain scan.  Not at all:

Citing a recent government report that listed several instances where Vick was personally involved in the cruelty and killing of dogs, PETA wants Vick to undergo extensive psychological testing.

Nachminovitch continued, “We believe that the behavior he has shown might very well be an indication of psychopathy and we’re asking for a brain scan and a thorough psychiatric evaluation.”

The people at PETA considering Vick as their spokesman should queue up right behind him for the brain scan … just to see if the organ exists.

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