Video: Well-meaning dorks fight crime, wear tights

posted at 8:42 pm on April 30, 2009 by Allahpundit

An overnight viral sensation (literally) to cleanse the palate. Look at it this way: If they weren’t doing this, they’d be playing D&D or hanging out at comic-book conventions dressed as elves or whatever. Better that they’re walking the streets chasing off graffiti artists, no?

Plus, they make the kids smile.

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They need better outfits… I’m thinking those HAL exosuits from Japan covered in Dragon Skin…

John_Locke on April 30, 2009 at 8:44 PM

This is not the Cincinnati I thought I knew.

Not the sort of thing one does unless it is at high noon in a well lighted and protected part of town.

But, if it takes masked super-dorks to bring ordnung to the old town…still looks like a lost episode of WKRP.

coldwarrior on April 30, 2009 at 8:46 PM

as a huge comic book nerd, i can tell you that comic book conventions are awesome. the only drawback is that you end up spending money on crap you really don’t need. that and the fact that women don’t see me as date material. oh wait, i’m gay and i can find sex with men in a wal-mart restroom if need be. (kidding)

Ghoul aid on April 30, 2009 at 8:46 PM

Never give a sword to a man who can’t dance.
- Confucius

MB4 on April 30, 2009 at 8:50 PM

I’ve been wondering when Allah was going to blog about this.

Zetterson on April 30, 2009 at 8:50 PM

I hope that one in the red shirt is genre savvy enough to understand the risk that he/she is taking. But then again, red shirt is a sci fi trope not a superhero trope so maybe they are safe.

Ars Moriendi on April 30, 2009 at 8:50 PM

I like that sheriff deputy, he was like “whatever”.

I hope they are carrying video cameras around so we can see when the superhero gets his @ss kicked.

Vigilante on April 30, 2009 at 8:51 PM

Dear AP, I think you missed the most important question here:

Does this improve their chances with the ladies?

Answer that, and you may find the path you have been seeking.

Loxodonta on April 30, 2009 at 8:51 PM

Great Rolling Stone profile on other real-life super hero crime fighters.

SnarkVader on April 30, 2009 at 8:51 PM

Scary thing is that my daughter’s best friend’s father makes these kind of costumes as a sideline. Sells quite a few of them also.

coyoterex on April 30, 2009 at 8:52 PM

Not bad!

I kinda like this idea. Of course, one day something big is going to happen…I just hope nothing bad happens.

Godspeed, Shadow Hare!

JetBoy on April 30, 2009 at 8:53 PM

LOl

its lorien!!!!

blatantblue on April 30, 2009 at 8:57 PM

Dear AP, I think you missed the most important question here:

Does this improve their chances with the ladies?

Answer that, and you may find the path you have been seeking.

Loxodonta on April 30, 2009 at 8:51 PM

Im told that AllahP is not too fat
And that he wears a rakish hat
That he carries several whips
And could have women at his fingertips
They say hes nearly seven feet tall
And yet quite graceful……all in all
But unfortunately he eats his breakfast in the nude
And most ladies find that rather crude

PercyB on April 30, 2009 at 9:00 PM

Dont ever let ABC film ya heros thats all Im saying. They just outed the CIA specialists in charge of waterboarding.

canditaylor68 on April 30, 2009 at 9:01 PM

Two thoughts from the 2nd video.

1. The lady just before 1:00 is better built physically to “subdue” criminals than Shadow Hare.

2. He got his shoulder dislocated by a homeless person, that does not bode well for fighting anybody who does weights etc

VeniVidiVidic on April 30, 2009 at 9:01 PM

I don’t care how dorky they look, I’m thrilled to know that some of our youth care enough about our country and our safety to take a stand against the crime that’s destroying good neighborhoods.

Go Shadow Hare! ;-}

KendraWilder on April 30, 2009 at 9:01 PM

PercyB on April 30, 2009 at 9:00 PM

Totally crude, O’ Hot Air Minstrel!

blatantblue on April 30, 2009 at 9:04 PM

Nerds w/o significant others, assemble!

Neo on April 30, 2009 at 9:05 PM

Get these dudes some testosterone. STAT! Shadow Hair has the voice of a 12 year old for cripes sake.

Guardian on April 30, 2009 at 9:10 PM

I’m enraged
ABC is releasing the photos of interrogation architects.

blatantblue on April 30, 2009 at 9:10 PM

So this is what beta-male atheists do in their free time.

Bishop on April 30, 2009 at 9:14 PM

ABC is releasing the photos of interrogation architects.

blatantblue on April 30, 2009 at 9:10 PM

The CIA needs to disappear interview these journalists that would give away state secrets.

Guardian on April 30, 2009 at 9:15 PM

Batman has been fighting crime in Thailand.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dc8vmZt_sLI
Some thugs stole a gasoline truck & threatened to set it on fire. The caped crusader distracted the badguys, allowing the authorities to recapture the truck.

jgapinoy on April 30, 2009 at 9:15 PM

blatantblue on April 30, 2009 at 9:10 PM

Two former Army psychologists, contractors to the Agency a few years ago.

OK…back to our spandex commandos…

coldwarrior on April 30, 2009 at 9:15 PM

coldwarrior on April 30, 2009 at 9:15 PM

It is making me sad beyond belief that ABC is doing this.

Filthy kalab traitors.

blatantblue on April 30, 2009 at 9:16 PM

I think they’re taking dress up play / cosplay a little bit too far

MechFighter on April 30, 2009 at 9:18 PM

But, if it takes masked super-dorks to bring ordnung to the old town…still looks like a lost episode of WKRP.

coldwarrior on April 30, 2009 at 8:46 PM

As God as my witness. I thought turkeys could fly…

Caper29 on April 30, 2009 at 9:24 PM

Dude, they got a chick. There’ll be a legion of beta dorks following these king dorks in no time.

- The Cat

MirCat on April 30, 2009 at 9:26 PM

I’ll repeat my comment when this was in “Headlines”.

I see virgins.

Dr.Cwac.Cwac on April 30, 2009 at 9:26 PM

I salute their spirit, but I’m truly afraid they are going to get beaten to death.

Thresher on April 30, 2009 at 9:26 PM

I see virgins.

Dr.Cwac.Cwac on April 30, 2009 at 9:26 PM

Not so sure.

I’ve heard there is plenty of promiscuity at those ICON conventions.

blatantblue on April 30, 2009 at 9:29 PM

I salute their spirit, but I’m truly afraid they are going to get beaten to death.

Thresher on April 30, 2009 at 9:26 PM

Might wish to clue them in…lots of tough neighborhoods down there.

coldwarrior on April 30, 2009 at 9:31 PM

They look to me to be the kind of grown men who drool over pictures of Sarah Palin.

The Wall on April 30, 2009 at 9:33 PM

I’ve heard there is plenty of promiscuity at those ICON conventions.

blatantblue on April 30, 2009 at 9:29 PM

Isn’t Cathy St. George a regular?

coldwarrior on April 30, 2009 at 9:34 PM

Me thinks there’s something in the water in Cincinnati.

nineveh on April 30, 2009 at 9:36 PM

Me thinks there’s something in the water in Cincinnati.

nineveh on April 30, 2009 at 9:36 PM

Don’t tell you know who or he’ll wanna join.

- The Cat

MirCat on April 30, 2009 at 9:43 PM

SUPER SCHMUCKS!

RobCon on April 30, 2009 at 9:44 PM

Isn’t Cathy St. George a regular?

coldwarrior on April 30, 2009 at 9:34 PM

I’ll have to go next year and find out!

Tap dat!

blatantblue on April 30, 2009 at 9:46 PM

This site is a riot:

http://www.worldsuperheroregistry.com/world_superhero_registry_gallery.htm

Anyway, I wish them luck. I might pick up the habit myself eventually.

Darth Executor on April 30, 2009 at 9:48 PM

It won’t be too long before we have exotic semi-liquid armor, invisibility cloaks or fields, shock-gloves and micro-servo-driven powered armor. We’re on the slow path to REAL superheroes (and villains), these guys are just tragically ahead of the curve.

I predict an interesting future.

I also predict that, as true superheroes begin to emerge, a lot of creepy journalists are going to get their butts kicked, re: the “outing” of politically unpopular CIA contractors.

Merovign on April 30, 2009 at 9:52 PM

blatantblue on April 30, 2009 at 9:46 PM

Why is it that all the fictional international spies look like her…but in real life…not so much? Not even close, most of the time.

coldwarrior on April 30, 2009 at 9:53 PM

Darth Executor on April 30, 2009 at 9:48 PM

Check out Knight Errant

Identity: Secret

Secret Identity. You’re doin’ it wrong.

lorien1973 on April 30, 2009 at 9:55 PM

This is what I call “Enchanted.”

bluelightbrigade on April 30, 2009 at 9:59 PM

lorien1973 on April 30, 2009 at 9:55 PM

Check out Life: community organizer. Did Ogabe wear a mask and tights while pretending to do something useful?

Darth Executor on April 30, 2009 at 9:59 PM

Darth Executor on April 30, 2009 at 9:59 PM

Organization: Justice Society Of Justice*

(*Motto: The JUSTICE SOCIETY OF JUSTICE ™…offering twice the JUSTICE as the leading competitors!)

lorien1973 on April 30, 2009 at 10:01 PM

The chick had a discernible female form with healthy hair and toned upper arms (as bare as shaved beavers). Whats under the hood?

Shadow Hair? Isn’t that the hair between your butt cheeks?

BL@KBIRD on April 30, 2009 at 10:02 PM

blatantblue on April 30, 2009 at 8:57 PM

My only super power is the ability to leave my wife completely unsatisfied! :P

lorien1973 on April 30, 2009 at 10:02 PM

My only super power is the ability to leave my wife completely unsatisfied! :P

lorien1973 on April 30, 2009 at 10:02 PM

My gf always has a complaint!

blatantblue on April 30, 2009 at 10:06 PM

blatantblue on April 30, 2009 at 10:06 PM

We talked about that on another thread, just yesterday, if I recall. :-)

coldwarrior on April 30, 2009 at 10:14 PM

Seems like viral for the comic book and soon movie “Kick-Ass”

Ampersand on April 30, 2009 at 10:15 PM

We talked about that on another thread, just yesterday, if I recall. :-)

coldwarrior on April 30, 2009 at 10:14 PM

lol — i cant recall

blatantblue on April 30, 2009 at 10:17 PM

This reminds me of the Reality TV show Stan Lee’s Who wants to be a Superhero.

StubbleSpark on April 30, 2009 at 10:18 PM

I say “God Bless Them”………..

…….. I just hope they don’t come across a S/M Ghey Bar looking for some new recruits.

“To the Bat Cave!!!”

Seven Percent Solution on April 30, 2009 at 10:21 PM

The only thing missing is a theme song by Tay Zonday.

The Ugly American on April 30, 2009 at 10:25 PM

Nobody was working out of Washington DC. Not even superheroes can save us from that mess.

2rightwings on April 30, 2009 at 10:35 PM

That’ really sweet.

Cindy Munford on April 30, 2009 at 10:43 PM

God bless these poor shmoes.

They try so hard, only to fail so spectacularly.

rihar on April 30, 2009 at 10:43 PM

In a world where everyone is being crushed by moral ambivalence, this kind of thing happens. People tend to think of societies driven by moral absolutism as crushing to the human spirit. Like a sandwich, you press too hard and you get a bunch of crazy stuff that squishes out the sides.

But moral ambivalence can be just as, if not more crushing because people generally do not recognize it as having that potential in the first place. So we live in a world where pirates freely roam and terrorists who want to destroy us to the last man get the rights and privileges due citizens. We fear a man in office who is combining the powers of big government and big business in order to recreate and socially engineer our country. Gun sales go up. Interest in joining militias goes up. Americans start to realize they must do for their own. Hence superheroes.

Why shouldn’t something like this be happening? I am just about to don a cape and mask too, if someone tells me one more time my deeply-held beliefs make me an evil bigot.

StubbleSpark on April 30, 2009 at 10:45 PM

I think these heroes are missing an important tenent of superhero…ism. Wasn’t it Edna Mode who said…

Words to live by.

rihar on April 30, 2009 at 10:49 PM

Seven Percent Solution on April 30, 2009 at 10:21 PM

I’m just trying to imagine what a S&M bar would be like.
“Leather with your martini?”

Rightwingguy on April 30, 2009 at 11:03 PM

StubbleSpark on April 30, 2009 at 10:45 PM

+1

…Should I be ashamed to admit I did this kind of stuff like 15 years ago? I mean hence my screen name and all.

…Ya know thinking back on those times I am not ashamed, I actually saved a guys life. (he had been stabbed in the chest by a screwdriver and I was able to give him first aid till help arrived.)

So… I guess, Godspeed Shadow Hare.

-Wasteland Man.

WastelandMan on April 30, 2009 at 11:22 PM

This is just like anything else. Every year they have news reports about this kind of stuff going on. It’s admirable, but laughable too, all in the same breath.

cabbageheat on April 30, 2009 at 11:24 PM

Haven’t finished watching the video yet, but i think I’ve seen this movie before.

apostic on April 30, 2009 at 11:37 PM

Haven’t finished watching the video yet, but i think I’ve seen this movie before.

apostic on April 30, 2009 at 11:37 PM

I’m not ashamed to say I’ve seen Rat Phink ‘A’ Boo Boo, not to mention that director’s magnum opus The Incredibly Strange Creatures That Stopped Living And Became Mixed Up Zombies. However even in RPaBB the directors seemed to give up on the notion that they were making a serious movie and started making it into a “comedy”.

Will these super heroes finally come to that conclusion in real life?

rihar on April 30, 2009 at 11:43 PM

geek lisp on> Broadcasting from the basement of the science building /geek lisp off>

juanito on April 30, 2009 at 11:57 PM

Good for them :D.

Anyone here think that if AllahPundit joined these people, he would be a beta hero? or how about sidekick?

FontanaConservative on May 1, 2009 at 12:21 AM

He needs to watch a few episodes of The Tick and work on his super hero voice. I hope the cameras are there when they get chased down the street by a gang of teen-age thugs, and get their a$$es whipped. Thats the video I want to see lol

Paco on May 1, 2009 at 12:27 AM

He needs to watch a few episodes of The Tick and work on his super hero voice. I hope the cameras are there when they get chased down the street by a gang of teen-age thugs, and get their a$$es whipped. Thats the video I want to see lol

Paco on May 1, 2009 at 12:27 AM

You need to get out more.

Richard Romano on May 1, 2009 at 12:32 AM

Richard Romano on May 1, 2009 at 12:32 AM

You know it’s gonna happen. I’m from N.J. and I can tell you right now,that guy wouldnt last one day in Camden or Philly

Paco on May 1, 2009 at 12:37 AM

Is Ohio a right to carry state?

AZfederalist on May 1, 2009 at 12:41 AM

AZfederalist on May 1, 2009 at 12:41 AM

Yes.

What’re you suggesting? Cincinnatti is about an hour or so down the road…rabbit hare season? :-)

Nah…wouldn’t want to do that. These guys are harmless. Might get harmed in certain neighborhoods of the Queen City, though.

coldwarrior on May 1, 2009 at 2:15 AM

They need to find that superhero, “GetAJobMan”.

albill on May 1, 2009 at 6:14 AM

Looking through the superhero registry webpage I can’t help but think some of those guys should change their name to ‘Moob Man’! “Surrender evil doers! Else drink defeat from my masculine mamaries of justice!”

wolfva on May 1, 2009 at 6:37 AM

This could pass as Onion News. I can’t say that I’ve ever seen them downtown. A super hero usually has super powers. I suppose it’s better than dressing up as the Penguin and robbing banks.

threeCents on May 1, 2009 at 8:28 AM

threeCents on May 1, 2009 at 8:28 AM

I thought this was Onion at first. ANYHOW, like environmental regulation, this is the sort of thing that will only happen in rich nations. Unless yall see some superheroes in someplace like Ethiopia.

Bladerunner1701 on May 1, 2009 at 8:50 AM

But, if it takes masked super-dorks to bring ordnung to the old town…still looks like a lost episode of WKRP.

coldwarrior on April 30, 2009 at 8:46 PM

As God as my witness. I thought turkeys could fly…

Caper29 on April 30, 2009 at 9:24 PM

Beat me too it…dang.

Pilgrim on May 1, 2009 at 9:34 AM

Yikes – someone call Janet Napalitano! These guys are clearly TERRORISTS!!!

warriorlawyer on May 1, 2009 at 9:42 AM

Unless yall see some superheroes in someplace like Ethiopia.

Bladerunner1701 on May 1, 2009 at 8:50 AM

A super hero in Addis Ababa is an Ethiopian with two apples.

coldwarrior on May 1, 2009 at 10:23 AM

You laugh because you care? You are worried because the police scoff at them? The newscaster is a douchebag and is laughing at these people. What the hell is so funny? These people are obviously serious. The MSM just plain suck and mock us at every opportunity.

Levinite on May 1, 2009 at 10:49 AM