Video: Total superiority of Japanese TV once again proved

posted at 8:52 pm on April 27, 2009 by Allahpundit

When you’re well and truly beat, you have to admit it. I admit it. After watching dozens of goofy clips in this vein over the years, here’s what I’ve realized: An American version simply wouldn’t work. Hold all other variables constant — theme, talent, audience enthusiasm — and it still wouldn’t work, for the simple reasons that Americans simply aren’t this odd naturally. We’d know it was a performance, and that would drain all the kooky joie de vivre from it. This works only because, as Cracked so memorably put it, Japan is the capital of WTF. The thrill here isn’t watching some guy try to wake up, get dressed, and cook and eat breakfast in under five minutes; it’s watching how a WTF culture works, how it relates to each other. Endlessly fascinating. The man who finally brings this crap, subtitled, to American cable will be a very rich man indeed.

Incidentally, total time elapsed for me to wake up, brew a cup of Senseo and down a Zone bar, and be at my work station: 90 seconds. Thanks, MM!

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Incidentally, total time elapsed for me to wake up, brew a cup of Senseo and down a Zone bar, and be at my work station: 90 seconds. Thanks, MM!

Not fair this japanese had a woman in his bed that slow him down by at least 10 seconds. You have an advantage Captain Beta Male !

William Amos on April 27, 2009 at 8:55 PM

Eight minutes of my life. Gone. Never to return.

jennifernaz on April 27, 2009 at 9:00 PM

Something to aspire to, AP.

blatantblue on April 27, 2009 at 9:00 PM

Ok, the bobby pin trick and the one with the tie are keepers.

Jim708 on April 27, 2009 at 9:02 PM

Well, the Japanese may be weird but they still put on their pants on one leg at a time like we…wait

carbon_footprint on April 27, 2009 at 9:02 PM

awesome! makes me miss japan. i left tokyo 3.5 years ago after being there for 9 years and recently have started to miss a lot of this quirky stuff (as well as other things).

incidentally, japan really, really is the capital of WTF, and that doesn’t change even after being there for a long time and even is you are fluent in the language.

it’s a special, special place. ;-)

homesickamerican on April 27, 2009 at 9:02 PM

They simply have the best game shows EVAH! We have American Idol…they win hands down. Yes, I would pay extra for a subtitled version of NHK on my cable channel…Gold mine!

AUINSC on April 27, 2009 at 9:03 PM

even is if you are fluent in the language.

homesickamerican on April 27, 2009 at 9:04 PM

William Amos on April 27, 2009 at 8:55 PM
OUCH!!!!!
+100
Too funny

FontanaConservative on April 27, 2009 at 9:07 PM

Umm what about the dead body in the bed?

ronsfi on April 27, 2009 at 9:07 PM

Yet again proving that the Japanese are born engineers. Why? Because their entire ethos is about taking the mundane and making it an art.

spmat on April 27, 2009 at 9:08 PM

Incidentally, total time elapsed for me to wake up, brew a cup of Senseo and down a Zone bar, and be at my work station: 90 seconds.

Nowhere in there did I see “get dressed”. Uh….thanks for sharing, AP. I’ll have images in my head every time I see one of your posts.

amerpundit on April 27, 2009 at 9:10 PM

I love how “necktie” in Japanese is “necktie”.

Dr.Cwac.Cwac on April 27, 2009 at 9:10 PM

How is it that these are the people who create all of our electronics? They react to this nonsense like they’re small children.

RightWinged on April 27, 2009 at 9:11 PM

This morning, I got up, drank some yogurt, brushed my teeth, dressed up, checked my mail and stepped out of the door in under 3 minutes.

Unimpressed.

radiofreevillage on April 27, 2009 at 9:13 PM

You have a Senseo?

I gotta get one of those…

JetBoy on April 27, 2009 at 9:15 PM

Man I love Japanese TV.

jencab on April 27, 2009 at 9:15 PM

I guess the morning constitutional will have to wait for work……..

……….. on the boss’s dime.

Seven Percent Solution on April 27, 2009 at 9:15 PM

If I had caught my girlfriend in bed with another man, I would be reluctant to post the video. Allahpundit, a man dedicated to our amusement.

Memnon on April 27, 2009 at 9:16 PM

Senseo is the beta male version of the Keurig.

SnarkVader on April 27, 2009 at 9:17 PM

How is it that these are the people who create all of our electronics? They react to this nonsense like they’re small children.

RightWinged on April 27, 2009 at 9:11 PM

Would you expect any less from a country so obsessed with Hello Kitty?

Dead Hand Control on April 27, 2009 at 9:17 PM

Thanks Allah for pointing out that the Japanese dont wear their pants one leg a time.

Plus you dont seem to brush your teeth before eating… Zonebars. yeah, real healthy habit !

Hopefully you do find the time to take a shower.

nagee76 on April 27, 2009 at 9:17 PM

Japan: nuked too much or not enough…?

Yesterday I posted on a Nagasaki businessman who had a meeting in Hiroshima one day in 1945…

Yep, you guessed it.

After he got nuked the first time, he got bandaged up and went back to work — where his boss accused him of making up the whole story — just before…

As a friend of mine commented: Now THAT’S the Japanese work ethic for you.

fivefeetoffury on April 27, 2009 at 9:18 PM

Hello Homesick,

I’ve been there many many times on business. I love that country. I’m especially found of Kyushu even though once you get there you realize that you are very far from home. Few restaurants have translated or picture menus. But the people are so wonderful, getting around is no problem.

Once, after a long trip, I spent the night near Narita before my early flight back to the states. It felt like I had already left Japan.

I look forward to returning someday.

-FatOldGuy

Fogpig on April 27, 2009 at 9:20 PM

I knew there was a missing rule to the Allahpundit Drinking Game: Do a shot every time AP posts a video that he considers proof of the superiority of Japanese television.

SteakRules on April 27, 2009 at 9:21 PM

That pant trick was pretty slick.

Weight of Glory on April 27, 2009 at 9:22 PM

I knew there was a missing rule to the Allahpundit Drinking Game: Do a shot every time AP posts a video that he considers proof of the superiority of Japanese television.

SteakRules on April 27, 2009 at 9:21 PM

I love me some drinking games…but you gotta admit…AP is right about Japanese TV. It’s just awesome.

AUINSC on April 27, 2009 at 9:23 PM

Okay, that necktie technique is tres cool.

irishspy on April 27, 2009 at 9:24 PM

Today I woke at 5am and spent 3 hours “getting ready for work”. Sleep and work are my 2 least favorite parts of life. Everything in between is the good stuff. What’s the freaking hurry?

bagoh20 on April 27, 2009 at 9:27 PM

That was absolutely and awesomely funny. I’ll have to learn the tie trick!

threeCents on April 27, 2009 at 9:30 PM

Excellent Kabuki style dance type putting on your pants,
me thinks!

canopfor on April 27, 2009 at 9:31 PM

I see,Japanese men getting ready for work,is a turn on for
Japanese women,very interesting!!

canopfor on April 27, 2009 at 9:33 PM

Except for the Japanese trying to produce human-like female robots…this quirky stuff, like most of their television programming, isn’t all that bad. Strangely entertaining. real reality TV, no?

But the female robots? That’s truly weird.

coldwarrior on April 27, 2009 at 9:34 PM

If your in a panic to get ready for work,
and your not a morning person,then you,and
everybody else around you,might be in a world
of hurt,jus sayin!!

canopfor on April 27, 2009 at 9:35 PM

I see,Japanese men getting ready for work,is a turn on for
Japanese women,very interesting!!

canopfor on April 27, 2009 at 9:33 PM

A man having a job is always attractive :)

terryannonline on April 27, 2009 at 9:37 PM

1) This is NOT as good as Human Tetris.

2) This is NOT as good as Unbeatable Banzuke.

3)Dude, you have a Senseo? I want a Senseo.

Michelle on April 27, 2009 at 9:42 PM

A man having a job is always attractive:)

terryannonline on April 27,2009 at 9:37PM.

terryannonline: Ain’t that the truth!!haha:)

canopfor on April 27, 2009 at 9:43 PM

90 seconds to AP in his Underoos and on the job.

/fighting….. fight off any.. possible..visuals….

AAAAAArrrrrrgggggggghhhhhhhhhhh!

44Magnum on April 27, 2009 at 9:43 PM

/fighting….. fight off any.. possible..visuals….

AAAAAArrrrrrgggggggghhhhhhhhhhh!

44Magnum on April 27, 2009 at 9:43 PM

Don’t worry about the visuals. Allahpundit probably doesn’t take a shower. So it’s not the visuals I’m worried about it is the smell :)

terryannonline on April 27, 2009 at 9:46 PM

This is…

Michelle on April 27,2009 at 9:42PM.

Michelle: Don’t the Japanese have a crazy game of downhill
log rolling,or is it log sliding competition!:)

canopfor on April 27, 2009 at 9:48 PM

Michelle on April 27, 2009 at 9:42 PM

“Videos no longer available….”

Bummer……….

………. but if you get a chance, tell Bryan we say “Hi”, miss him, and wish him well.

Funny stuff………

Seven Percent Solution on April 27, 2009 at 9:49 PM

Ya know,there’s a Liberal somewhere who has watched this video,

and has declared it, TORTURE!!(Sarc).

canopfor on April 27, 2009 at 9:54 PM

I always figured AP sat around in his underwear blogging.

Michelle on April 27, 2009 at 9:42 PM

He can afford one if he doesn’t have to buy work clothes.

boomer on April 27, 2009 at 9:57 PM

Ya know,there’s a Liberal somewhere who has watched this video,

and has declared it, TORTURE!!(Sarc).

canopfor on April 27, 2009 at 9:54 PM

Nope, only white people are capable of torture according to liberals/lefties.

AUINSC on April 27, 2009 at 9:58 PM

I love them there Japanese women.

Ah the good ol’ days when the ship pulled into Sasebo, Japan.

Bishop on April 27, 2009 at 9:59 PM

I always figured AP sat around in his underwear blogging.

If the rumors of his beta-ness are true, AP also wears a ruffled pirate shirt while blogging.

Bishop on April 27, 2009 at 10:00 PM

It wouldn’t be as funny if you knew what they were saying.

WisCon on April 27, 2009 at 10:03 PM

Allah you really need to eat better and get some sun before you develope a vit D deficiency…

CCRWM on April 27, 2009 at 10:04 PM

jmo, but the car soccer/demo. derby has this beat …

Buckaroo on April 27, 2009 at 10:05 PM

I freaking love the Japanese. They are proof positive — in defense of silliness — people can be both smart and silly. We love that.

Spent 2 weeks there in the 90′s and can’t wait for the chance to go back.

Moxie on April 27, 2009 at 10:11 PM

A man having a job is always attractive :)

terryannonline on April 27, 2009 at 9:37 PM

mine works too hard..which is why I can sit next to him and surg blogs on my laptop…

As to the video now I kind of get why an asian woman would rather be with a gumpy white guy than an asian man…

CCRWM on April 27, 2009 at 10:16 PM

This makes me wish I still lived in Asia.

Blarg the Destroyer on April 27, 2009 at 10:17 PM

Necktie-o, jacket-o, technique-o. Can’t these people think up their own words for stuff?

rivlax on April 27, 2009 at 10:18 PM

man..years ago…in the 80′s..i did some work outside of Osaka….i LOVE the japanese people….in the 2 years i was there…..i saw the craziest things and the most beautiful people in tune with their ancestors and the land…and those people love to drink….and can NOT handle their booze….their sense of the absurd is well honed and almost pythonesq….hell..even their gangsters are civilized…and those yakuza tattoos are awesome….i’m hoping they re-arm, to the hilt….we need the help….

JJKRN on April 27, 2009 at 10:23 PM

Gotta make a note of that butter the toast move.

The Ugly American on April 27, 2009 at 10:24 PM

Necktie-o, jacket-o, technique-o. Can’t these people think up their own words for stuff?

rivlax on April 27, 2009 at 10:18 PM

Just go with it…they are helping us enjoy the spectacle of it all…mighty accommodating of them, I think.

AUINSC on April 27, 2009 at 10:24 PM

It’s been a long time since I laughed so hard it made some of the soup I ate come back up. I guess you would call that Japanese reflux.

Anyhow, it shows how the Japanese can take Western ideas – eg.– neckties- and improve the application.

Texas Mike on April 27, 2009 at 10:30 PM

All I have to say is that Blond chick was freakin’ hot!

TheSitRep on April 27, 2009 at 10:45 PM

This from the same country that belched forth the Cup Nude?

Not surprising. Japan is the megalopolis of WTF, indeed.

Ryan Gandy on April 27, 2009 at 11:17 PM

either you are being ‘ironical’ or you’ve lost your bearing AP.

bains on April 27, 2009 at 11:25 PM

Americans simply aren’t this odd naturally.

Man. You have never worked with a bunch of male librarians.

Rosmerta on April 27, 2009 at 11:31 PM

My favorite bit of Japanese video.

I once started learning the words so I could sing along, but gave it up.

Rosmerta on April 27, 2009 at 11:35 PM

This from the same country that belched forth the Cup Nude?

Not surprising. Japan is the megalopolis of WTF, indeed.

Ryan Gandy on April 27, 2009 at 11:17 PM

You just have to love ‘em dotcha! I do. The Japanese aren’t pretending to be anything but Japanese…weird, kinky, but lovable. It’s not like they are forcing this down our throats, is it? And have you seen the pervs on our side of the fence..makes this look pretty mild by comparison.

AUINSC on April 27, 2009 at 11:38 PM

From a somewhat conservative guy from my neck of the woods…great site for a reasonable look at Japanese life:

http://www.rockinginhakata.com/

AUINSC on April 27, 2009 at 11:40 PM

Why was the countdown in English?

rihar on April 27, 2009 at 11:52 PM

Why was the countdown in English?

rihar on April 27, 2009 at 11:52 PM

They borrow a lot of english…and oddly enough, they still think America/English is very cool…it’s still a very positive brand there…I’m sure they’ll learn soon enough that the new America of ‘Hope and Change’ isn’t that cool after all.

AUINSC on April 28, 2009 at 12:03 AM

Pfffft. No wonder they lost the war.

Shy Guy on April 28, 2009 at 12:14 AM

I like the Pan-kun the smart chimp videos from the Shimizu Zoo show frequently posted on Japan Probe. I happened to come across these two while searching for one that has since been removed from YouTube/Japan Probe.

Pan-kun the Dog Trainer Part 1: Pan-kun ‘trains’ the six-month old bulldog puppy Buchi-kun to walk on a leash (with some help from James-kun the bulldog), go up steps, and go through a doorway.

Pan-kun the Dog Trainer Part 2: Pan-kun takes Buchi-kun to a dog run for socialization with other dogs, then goes up an incline, gives him some water, and goes shopping for sausages at a store (where Pan-kun prepares and eats Cup Noodles).

eigafan on April 28, 2009 at 12:21 AM

Shimizu Zoo show should read “Genius! Shimura Zoo” and “Unbelievable Animals!” shows. Pan-kun is the property of Cuddy Dominion a zoo theme park attraction in Kumamoto prefecture on the island of Kyushu, Japan.

eigafan on April 28, 2009 at 1:25 AM

I knew there was a missing rule to the Allahpundit Drinking Game: Do a shot every time AP posts a video that he considers proof of the superiority of Japanese television.

SteakRules on April 27, 2009 at 9:21 PM
I love me some drinking games…but you gotta admit…AP is right about Japanese TV. It’s just awesome.

AUINSC on April 27, 2009 at 9:23 PM

Spanish language TV can be pretty funny too.

petunia on April 28, 2009 at 1:45 AM

Americans simply aren’t this odd naturally.
Man. You have never worked with a bunch of male librarians.

Rosmerta on April 27, 2009 at 11:31 PM

Have you ever been around engineers… always thinking…

petunia on April 28, 2009 at 1:48 AM

Oddly enough . . . .I’ve actually done a few of those things.

But I have learned a couple of new party tricks.

- The Cat

MirCat on April 28, 2009 at 4:25 AM

P.S. Even though you can’t understand them do any of you also find yourselves laughing at their jokes?

P.P.S. Blond Japanese Chicks, oh yeah.

MirCat on April 28, 2009 at 4:35 AM

Those folks in the audience look like they dress with 1970s/1980s Goodwill reject cloths… Too much.

RalphyBoy on April 28, 2009 at 7:30 AM

The guy who got out of bed and out to work just got divorced for having multiple affairs. The wife? Norika Fujiwara. Her official site is: http://www.norikanesque.com/

Now you understand why he had the skills…. He was rumored to had affairs with over 10 women during the 2 years they were married.

MikeRossTky on April 28, 2009 at 8:35 AM

The chick with the giant goldilocks Ruppenzel hair doo baffles me. I can’t wrap my head around blonde asians, I don’t get it.

My wife (asian) has loooong black silky hair that everyone admires, she constantly runs the idea past me of coloring it or highlighting it. She went through a phase in the 80′s where she actually permed it…not a good look. Both od my neices colored theirs too, one with blonde highlights the other maroon..I guess the grass is always greener.

Alden Pyle on April 28, 2009 at 9:05 AM

If Japan is the country of WTF, then what makes the US? I wonder what the Japs or any other culture as a matter of ract think of Americans from all the news, tabloids, movies and shows that we produce?

“How is it that these are the people who create all of our electronics? They react to this nonsense like they’re small children.” Ever see Jerry Springer????

“Would you expect any less from a country so obsessed with Hello Kitty?” Ever see parents fighting over Tickle me Elmo at Christmas time?

One show does not represent the whole Japanese culture and if you believe that then you should be content that they believe all Americans are fat, drink beer and watch Nascar all day then.

JayJay123 on April 28, 2009 at 9:23 AM

If you thought american games shows were lame, I give you…

sonofdy on April 28, 2009 at 9:54 AM

So, no morning shower?…Gross.

Falz on April 28, 2009 at 10:10 AM

Great stuff. Watching Oriental TV is entertaining and educational, because they have fun.

Reading all of the posts, there is one thing missing that is an important part of the Oriental culture that we must regain – innovation.

The key to innovation is the ability visualize how things are done, and what makes visualization difficult is that the mind is trained to see things in only two dimensions (width and height). Innovation really requires the ability to add depth to the view, thus watch carefully how the concept of depth is critical to tying the necktie and putting the pants on without hands.

After watching carefully, he is still going to leave the house unzipped. The next trick is to see him come home and get undressed.

MSGTAS on April 28, 2009 at 10:25 AM

Okay, that necktie technique is tres cool.

irishspy on April 27, 2009 at 9:24 PM

Yeah, but is it possible to tie a half Windsor knot that way?

Maybe… but it would probably take some practice.

UltimateBob on April 28, 2009 at 11:34 AM

I spent 3 years in Osaka in the early 90s, one thing I never could quite wrap my head around was Japanese entertainment TV, especially the late-night stuff.

The people at Cracked have it right: a lot of times, I just sat there, gaping at the television screen and saying, “What the Fuh…?”

They’ve got to be among the most fascinating people on earth.

Spurius Ligustinus on April 28, 2009 at 12:21 PM

Ha! That guy is good!

tx2654 on April 28, 2009 at 12:25 PM

Where I come from, the wife gets up and makes breakfast so the hombre can get out the door in 5. Shower included.

Gaunilon on April 28, 2009 at 1:23 PM

I’m going to practice putting on the pants.

scrubjay on April 28, 2009 at 1:38 PM

Japanese TV is certainly odd, but one of the things that makes it so odd is that there are so many things about it that are a generation behind the States. VERY few people have cable TV; they all watch the same 5 or 6 channels with a narrow variety of shows (sitcoms simply don’t exist; I think these days Alf re-runs are on NHK) and a rotation pool of about 50 or so famous personalities. I think that is one main reason that there is an atmosphere in the studio to support this kind of thing.

This would have worked about 30 years ago in America when there was a real community of TV/screen celebrities–think of the Carol Burnett Show or Battle of the Network Stars. I could easily see Tim Conway or somebody doing that stunt.

DrZin on April 28, 2009 at 1:42 PM

Something to aspire to, AP.

blatantblue on April 27, 2009 at 9:00 PM

Thanks for the warning. I’ll pass.

Jarhead68 on April 28, 2009 at 2:57 PM

Scratch my last comment…I cut and pasted incorrectly…

Eight minutes of my life. Gone. Never to return.

jennifernaz on April 27, 2009 at 9:00 PM

Thanks for the warning. I’ll pass. There! Fixed it.

Jarhead68 on April 28, 2009 at 2:59 PM

I spent 3 years in Osaka in the early 90s, one thing I never could quite wrap my head around was Japanese entertainment TV, especially the late-night stuff.

The people at Cracked have it right: a lot of times, I just sat there, gaping at the television screen and saying, “What the Fuh…?”

They’ve got to be among the most fascinating people on earth.

Spurius Ligustinus on April 28, 2009 at 12:21 PM

Must be remnants of the nuclear fallout from ’45. Blame Truman.

Jarhead68 on April 28, 2009 at 3:00 PM

There were eight seconds left on the clock. That’s probably used for a shower and a shave on other mornings.

ricelchew on April 28, 2009 at 4:40 PM