Olby to Hannity: I’ll give you $1,000 per second to be waterboarded
posted at 3:23 pm on April 24, 2009 by Allahpundit
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In which Kayo, who spent last week making teabagging jokes, warns Sean to be more serious about policy matters. There’s a whiff of “chickenhawk” idiocy to this: If Olby’s hot to pronounce waterboarding definitively torture there’s an easy way for him to do so, but he’d rather bait Hannity instead — not unlike the leftists who were too gutless to sign up for Afghanistan clucking about the cowardice of conservatives who didn’t enlist for Iraq. Watch for the part where he sonorously intones about torture turning the bad guy — or rather, in Keith’s words, the “presumed bad guy” — into a victim and the good guy into an evildoer. The moral myopia of saying that about the planner of 9/11 is characteristic of the left’s hysterical sanctimony on this subject; for another example, see Paul Krugman’s piece today in the Times declaring, no joke, that “never before have our leaders so utterly betrayed everything our nation stands for.” Never? Ever?
If you’re eager to see a journalist get waterboarded and can’t wait for Hannity to take the plunge, there’s no shortage of clips available. Here’s one from 2006 and another from last week. Judge for yourself how shattered they look. Exit question: Didn’t Obama turn those bad-guy pirates into victims by having them shot in the head? Sure, he saved the captain, but at what price?
Update: From the comments, “I offer $1000 for every second that Keith can hang on to the outside of a skyscraper while a fire rages inside.”
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I offer $1000 for every second that Keith can hang on to the outside of a skyscraper while a fire rages inside.
Bishop on April 24, 2009 at 3:27 PM
sure, what about all the Terrorist who have been Renditioned under Obama and are really being Tortured over in Egypt or someplace? Are they not Victims too?
jp on April 24, 2009 at 3:27 PM
If it is torture, isn’t Obermann going against his principles in wanting it used against anyone?
Oh wait – can the word principles be used in the same sentence as Olberman?
kybowexar on April 24, 2009 at 3:28 PM
I’d pay to see a Hannity vs. Olby boxing match.
jp on April 24, 2009 at 3:28 PM
I really hope Sean Hannity TOTALLY ignores him. 100% ignore.
Don’t give him relevance. Even if someone asks Sean a question about it…I hope Sean says, “who?” and moves on.
He’s looking for ratings.
bridgetown on April 24, 2009 at 3:28 PM
Hannity is a punk. He’ll never do it.
robertnyc212 on April 24, 2009 at 3:28 PM
where do I sign up to be waterboarded? I need the money…
Lehosh on April 24, 2009 at 3:29 PM
Obviously, in the world of progressives, Hannity is worse than any Jihadist ever could be. Get with the program man.
jp on April 24, 2009 at 3:29 PM
Olbermann should pay people 1,000 dollars for each episode of his show that they watch. Maybe then he’d do a little bit better than the 950,000-1,000,000 or so viewers he averages.
JG2K6 on April 24, 2009 at 3:29 PM
I’ll give any HA reader $1000 for every minute they can watch Olbermann.
Sir Corky on April 24, 2009 at 3:30 PM
Very fitting that Keith O wants law abiding Americans to be “tortured”, but not the ruthless muslims in arms.
bridgetown on April 24, 2009 at 3:30 PM
Hannity’s got to do it, but he needs to put KO on the defense by upping the ante. Say $10,000 a second and every penny goes to Palin’s Defense Fund (SitRep’s idea).
Either that or challenge Olby to do it with him. It would be one of those ‘great television moments’.
BadgerHawk on April 24, 2009 at 3:31 PM
I will give Hannity 1,000 dollars kick Olbermann in the peanuts when/if they meet to do this event.
carbon_footprint on April 24, 2009 at 3:31 PM
Ten seconds was my limit. I just had lunch. Id like to keep it down.
canditaylor68 on April 24, 2009 at 3:31 PM
I’ll give my left arm to anyone who waterboards Kieffy UberdouchemanN.
Branch Rickey on April 24, 2009 at 3:31 PM
Take the money, Hannity, but demand matching seconds from Olby.
Feedie on April 24, 2009 at 3:32 PM
And of course it’s funny that Olby doesn’t want terrorists ‘tortured’ but sees no problem in doing it to someone he disagrees with on policy.
BadgerHawk on April 24, 2009 at 3:32 PM
I would love for Olbermann’s money to go to Palin’s defense.
Sir Corky on April 24, 2009 at 3:32 PM
I realize that the Left have screwed up the language quite a bit about the whole morality thing (Lefties worried about morality…okay moving on) what they mean to say – is we are more civilized.
I would presume they are meaning that – because there are Native Americans, Mexican, British, Spanish, Japanese, German, and fellow Americans of the past who could testify to the “rigor of questioning and tactics” of American soldiers – and civilians.
No, torture has not nor will be a tool of choice of Americans – the problem we are having is figuring out just what half of us mean by that word!
kybowexar on April 24, 2009 at 3:32 PM
I would give a thousand dollars to watch KP get waterboarded.
In a tight.
T Shirt.
carbon_footprint on April 24, 2009 at 3:32 PM
I hope Olby is the first person to ever drown from waterboarding. Slow, painful, and with everyone watching!
HornetSting on April 24, 2009 at 3:32 PM
That would be hilarious!
kybowexar on April 24, 2009 at 3:33 PM
The context is all off – what they should do is have Hannity be the sole holder of information about a bomb that is set to go off under Olby’s chair and then make a wager as to whether Hannity will give up that info or not.
Otis B on April 24, 2009 at 3:33 PM
I’ll give Olby $2,000 for every minute he spends hanging at the end of a rope with a live 220v current running through his junk.
Make that $5,000 a minute. I really want to see this.
Spiritk9 on April 24, 2009 at 3:33 PM
Which is similar to MSNBC’s new offer of $1,000 per second for anyone willing to watch Olby’s show. No payouts so far.
amerpundit on April 24, 2009 at 3:33 PM
You’re right – I just had no decency there for a moment.
kybowexar on April 24, 2009 at 3:33 PM
Heh. I would laugh hilariously.
Guy from Fox didn’t seem too shaken up
deidre on April 24, 2009 at 3:34 PM
What Olbybama really wants is to suck off some of Hannity’s ratings.
RandyChandler on April 24, 2009 at 3:34 PM
Like I said in headlines…
Hannity should be trained and waterboarded by a pro and taught how to endure the process like our Special Forces are taught. Then he should go 60 seconds. One minute. Even the most sensitive of those trained at SERE to endure water boarding can go 5 minutes or more.
Hell, Hannity should be able to hold his breath longer than 60 seconds.
$60,000+
Olberdouche would never pay up that kind of dough.
And if he did pay up, I hope Hannity’s charity is the Survivors of 9/11.
SilverStar830 on April 24, 2009 at 3:34 PM
Let me try :)
UberdouchemanN, from the agriculture college of Cornell, believes in the principles of character assassination mud-throwing if it will free him of his white, liberal guilt?
Branch Rickey on April 24, 2009 at 3:34 PM
Haha, your best snark in a while.
RightWinged on April 24, 2009 at 3:34 PM
Sorry, rather be waterboarded.
cntrlfrk on April 24, 2009 at 3:34 PM
At a grand a second, sign me up. I’d love to be able to pay off my student loans this year!
Anna on April 24, 2009 at 3:35 PM
I wonder if that is the going rate KO pays for ‘company’. 1000/min sounds about right.
Spirit of 1776 on April 24, 2009 at 3:35 PM
I think Hannity should agree if Olby goes backpacking through Iran.
kingsjester on April 24, 2009 at 3:35 PM
Do you suppose Sean could handle about 10 hours worth? ($36,000,000.00)
db on April 24, 2009 at 3:35 PM
Someone give me a 10 buck a sec and I will waterboard Moldy on camera!
upinak on April 24, 2009 at 3:36 PM
Why should Hannity entertain Keith Olberman’s sexual fantasies?
portlandon on April 24, 2009 at 3:36 PM
Fox News is the hippo, Olby is the Tilapia.
29Victor on April 24, 2009 at 3:37 PM
Olby to Hannity: I’ll give you $1,000 per second to be waterboarded.
Hannity to Olby : Eat my ratings!
elderberry on April 24, 2009 at 3:38 PM
HA!
lorien1973 on April 24, 2009 at 3:38 PM
I watched a few moments of his show – once. I’d heard all the stuff about him and thought – surely it’s a put-up job. He’s doing it for ratings, right?
Well, in just a few moments I realized – dang, he’s serious. I think he honestly believes his own rantings.
At any rate, this debate makes me think of the similar about the death penalty. This is a country that bends over backwards to make it as humane as possible. Sort of silly, but well, a defensible silliness.
This is the same thing. We do not torture people – even when they dang well have asked for it. It is not comparative morality. The enemy we face does not even have a morality that any sane person would identify as such.
kybowexar on April 24, 2009 at 3:39 PM
You owe me $23.78, Pay up.
Oldnuke on April 24, 2009 at 3:39 PM
Do you folks see where this is going? One by one, if allowed, the junta occupying power in Washington will, indeed, go after every historical figure (including Democrats) as they break away into their own little party of a utopian future ushered forth by their stuttering messiah and his band of lunatics, misfits, and criminals.
The cult of personality is all that the junta has and they are going in the direction of enhancing that one feature to the exclusion of all others. It will not be long before all history is wiped out (in their propaganda and show trials) to have the new instructions codified. They will condemn Truman for the nukes, in order to put themselves on a higher pedestal – but only after they have taken care of conservative historical figures.
I would note the eerie similarity between the left’s view of the US and how Mohammed viewed Christianity and Judaism. Mo palgiarized stories from the Christians and the Jews, changed the stories to appeal to his primitive culture, and then went on to say that the original authors and supporters were liars who had been spreading lies. The left is trying to achieve the same, at this very moment, stealing US history, twisting it into an unrecognizable form, and declaring all who subscribed to the originals to be heretics and liars.
Very chilling.
progressoverpeace on April 24, 2009 at 3:40 PM
I’d do it myself if the money is taxed at normal rates, but since Olby works for the Obama administration it would probably be taxed at 90%.
FloatingRock on April 24, 2009 at 3:40 PM
Is that you Keith?
rihar on April 24, 2009 at 3:40 PM
SIGN ME UP FOR OLBER-DOUCHE’S MONEY!!!!!!!
Daddy wants a new laptop!
jcrue on April 24, 2009 at 3:41 PM
Yeah, that’s pretty much the post of the century. Sums it up in one neat sentence.
Moral relativism meet cold reality.
Professor Blather on April 24, 2009 at 3:42 PM
Perhaps Olby should pay $1,000 for every time he uses the name “Sean Hannity” on his show.
And if I were Hannity – I would take the original challenge from Grodin (good God what happened to that once funny man) for charity and make sure to point out Olby’s a) unoriginal idea, b) the fact Olby needs to mention him for ratings and c) he is not welcome anywhere near the challenge.
Odie1941 on April 24, 2009 at 3:42 PM
Olbermann thinks the Navy SEALs were right to shoot those 3 pirates, yes? Then donate $2,000 to charity for every bullet that fits in his skull.
Jim Treacher on April 24, 2009 at 3:42 PM
I
Absolutely. No reason to get in the gutter with the rats.
sherry on April 24, 2009 at 3:42 PM
The videos of guys (and gals) going through it – I realize make a point – but it is not exact – each person knows they will live through it. It is not a complete test of it.
(save the snorts of disgust…)
On the other side – bad guys need to fear for their lives (it is coercion after all..right?) Isn’t this much more humane than the murders deserve or are entitled to? If they knew us at all – they’d know (just like the soldiers being waterboarded) that Americans do not kill prisoners. Unlike what they do to prisoners.
kybowexar on April 24, 2009 at 3:43 PM
How about for each second that Hannity endures the board, Olby has to agree to one minute of advertising the Hannity Show on his program.
Bishop on April 24, 2009 at 3:43 PM
In all seriousness though, doesn’t this take the effectiveness out of the method? Hannity knows he’s not going to drown, and that it’s just a used to mimic drowning. Is it still that horrible a feeling to go through, or does knowing that you won’t really drown just make it kind of unpleasant?
Sir Corky on April 24, 2009 at 3:43 PM
$1000 for Olby to endure a ‘turn and cough’ check… shouldn’t take long
gatorboy on April 24, 2009 at 3:43 PM
That is the NewsCorp policy towards this kind of Olby shtick anyway. Hannity is under standing orders not to engage with the twit.
toliver on April 24, 2009 at 3:43 PM
Does any rational, thinking person even watch Keefums?
GarandFan on April 24, 2009 at 3:45 PM
“Didn’t Obama turn those bad-guy pirates into victims by having them shot in the head ? Sure, he saved the captain, but at what price?”
Don’t start to mix proportionality and reality into this.
The private killing was good PR for Obama = morally correct.
the_nile on April 24, 2009 at 3:45 PM
Wait a minute…why does Hannity have to do it? What of the challenges the conservatives have sent over to the left side? Bill Kristol’s challenge to Matt Damon, etc. Did they ever answer the call? Absolutely not, and until they do so, Hannity can just laugh in Olbermann’s face as far as I am concerned.
jakev on April 24, 2009 at 3:45 PM
Wow, he must be living it up like us poor folk if he has $1000/minute to just throw around like that. Wow, he’s such a populist.
gsherin on April 24, 2009 at 3:45 PM
Look, I understand there’s some pro-torture people in this place, but I’m sorry this is just way too far.
LibTired on April 24, 2009 at 3:45 PM
I’m sure it still sucks even if you know you won’t die.
BadgerHawk on April 24, 2009 at 3:45 PM
$1000/second for Olby to have a guest on his show that doesn’t agree with him or visa-versa.
toliver on April 24, 2009 at 3:46 PM
Olby is a prostituting whore. He’d take it up the @ss and gag down the throat, but whine about the choking sensation from water.
Talk about swallowing a camel but choking on a gnat.
maverick muse on April 24, 2009 at 3:46 PM
$1,000 a second for OLBY to jump on Janine Garfalo…….
SDarchitect on April 24, 2009 at 3:47 PM
It’s a little different because Hannity agreed to be waterboarded for charity while arguing with a guest on his own show. It kind of opened the door to this.
BadgerHawk on April 24, 2009 at 3:47 PM
I hope Hannity does the smart thing and does a complete and total ignore on this low-rating bore. Dont mention it on your radio show, dont mention it on TV.
That will hurt this whore-for-GE more than anything he could do. The whore-for-GE needs ratings badly…thats the only thing this is about.
The Wall on April 24, 2009 at 3:47 PM
Be careful, Olby. I don’t know if you have the authority to spend 50% of MSNBC’s revenue.
BacaDog on April 24, 2009 at 3:47 PM
Shock waterboarding works. CIA gives credit that it prevented all attacks on US
William Amos on April 24, 2009 at 3:48 PM
This would solve the bank crisis in a minute.
Hanity should ask him this:
“I’ll do the waterboarding for one hour , if you take one head shot from a sniper”
the_nile on April 24, 2009 at 3:49 PM
Being Waterboarded beats the crap out of being Olberboarded. A few minutes of watching Olberman and I’d admit to being the second gunman in Dealy Plaza, the iceberg that sunk the Titanic and the Hindenberg sabatour.
sdd on April 24, 2009 at 3:49 PM
Like I said when this was a headline make him put the money in escrow upfront.
Cause you know if hannity does this, Olby won’t pay up.
And then hannity should go as long as it takes to bankrupt olby. two minutes is 120 Grand.
Iblis on April 24, 2009 at 3:50 PM
I’ll give Olbermann a penny a minute for every minute that he normally would be on television, but decides not to speak.
MadisonConservative on April 24, 2009 at 3:50 PM
I propose “Olberboarded” be added to the conservative dictionary.
Sir Corky on April 24, 2009 at 3:51 PM
As usual, the libs win either way. If Hannity goes through it well and proves that it’s endurable, then the libs get to ask why we bother doing it in the first place, and suddenly it falls under the category of “cruel and unusual punishment”.
We really need to get off the lib playing field of “defining” torture. The bottom line is the vast majority of Americans would sanction putting someone through the most hellish nightmare imaginable if they knew their family or children were about to be subjected to another 9/11 and it could prevent it. The vast majority.
LibTired on April 24, 2009 at 3:51 PM
So, could I get $1,000 per second for being waterboarded? I certainly don’t think it’s torture (yeah it sucks, but so did being held in a room with cs gas in the army and having a molar completely drilled out before I knew that side of my mouth can’t be numbed) and I sure could use the money.
jarodea on April 24, 2009 at 3:52 PM
I’ve got an idea…let’s airdrop Olby into the Taliban occupied territory and give him $10,000 for every turd he drops in his pants while they’re beheading him…
rich8450 on April 24, 2009 at 3:52 PM
Id give $1000/second if Olby would be a guest of the Al Queda or Taliban scum he loves so much.
Heck I would even throw in a dull knife.
Kuffar on April 24, 2009 at 3:53 PM
$1000 for every day that Keith can survive in the Swat Valley while wearing a shirt with an American flag emblem.
A matching amount if he takes Garafolo along but she has to keep her head uncovered.
Bishop on April 24, 2009 at 3:54 PM
I can’t find many opportunities to make $40K in less than a minute.
…and could I get waterboarded multiple times for more money, then put leins on Olberdouch property?
Right_of_Attila on April 24, 2009 at 3:54 PM
From listenting to Col. North on Glenn Beck a couple of days ago, the CIA is in turmoil. The operatives who waterboarded were apparently told that they would not be prosecuted; however, the CIA has told those same operatives to “lawyer up” because the CIA may not be able to defend them.
It boils down to this: Will America be able to defend itself from threats when necessary, using every possible resourse at its disposal, in order to protect the nation, its interests and its people, or will it execute any further operations in a textbook manner?
To the latter, the Soviet Union operated in that manner in Afghanastan – and they lost.
madmonkphotog on April 24, 2009 at 3:54 PM
That’s a great comparison that I hadn’t thought of. Every single person who joins the Army goes through the CS gas chamber. You’re in there, unable to leave, choking and coughing, gasping for breath but literally unable to breathe.
That’s a pretty similar comparison to waterboarding, and CS gas is clearly not torture.
BadgerHawk on April 24, 2009 at 3:55 PM
I’d pay-per-view to see Hannity and Olberman in a waterboarding resistance competition. Never paid-per-view before, but I’d have to see that.
If I was betting, I’d bet Hannity wins when Olberman pisses himself and collapses when the board comes in sight.
DarkCurrent on April 24, 2009 at 3:56 PM
I’m shocked. Utterly, utterly shocked.
…I mean, Olby has that kind of money nowadays? Anyone seen his ratings?
CatsGodot on April 24, 2009 at 3:56 PM
Spiritk9 on April 24, 2009 at 3:57 PM
Why don’t you save your money for the next terrorist………..?
………. After all, all of our techniques are now known and they are training to defeat them.
Never mind though, no intelligence officer will want to use what ever it takes to save American lives anymore, because some politician will only go after him even though future techniques will be approved by the President, the Attorney General, briefed and approved by Congress………..
……..but, a campaign promise is a campaign promise, even though you have no idea what you are talking about and what the damage to this Nation could occur.
Seven Percent Solution on April 24, 2009 at 3:57 PM
To the left, logic is torture. Keep pouring it on boys and girls.
pugwriter on April 24, 2009 at 3:58 PM
$1000 per second for Hannity to get waterboarded?
two questions for Olbermann:
1. Does he make enough money to offer any money to anyone?
2. I’m pretty sure Hannity doesn’t drive on that side of the street, if you get my drift.
mjk on April 24, 2009 at 3:58 PM
BadgerHawk on April 24, 2009 at 3:55 PM
In the Navy I attended advanced firefighting courses which required me to enter a smoke filled chamber as part of a team and douse various fuel fires burning inside; it was almost as bad as the CS gas chamber.
I’ll pay $1000 for every second that Olby manages to stay in that chamber, something which sailors do voluntarily.
Bishop on April 24, 2009 at 3:59 PM
Don’t chickenhawk etiquette forbid hannity from participating in such unsavory activities?
benny shakar on April 24, 2009 at 4:00 PM
Up the ante – Olbermann sells his entire baseball card collection for charity.
KO will waterboard his pants with merlot for free, but only for his mentally unstable viewers.
rw on April 24, 2009 at 4:00 PM
Hannity should never have have shot his mouth of and given people something to go after him with in the first place.
If he pu$$ies out now he’s, well, a pu$$y.
Dave Rywall on April 24, 2009 at 4:00 PM
Hey Olbydouche… Make that same offer to me?
I don’t mind making it a forth time.
LegendHasIt on April 24, 2009 at 4:01 PM
Olby is awfully infatuated with Hannity…doesn’t anyone see this, a desperate attempt for attention from Hannity?
right2bright on April 24, 2009 at 4:02 PM
Stupid but funny story: On one of my trips through the chamber a friend and I were tired of doing the usual “mask off shout your name and social” routine, so we decided to see how much of ‘Ice Ice Baby’ we could get throw before throwing up.
I got to “To the extreme I rock a mic like a vandal” before I couldn’t go on.
BadgerHawk on April 24, 2009 at 4:02 PM
Allah Pundit, if it wasn’t for you, Olberdouch wouldn’t have any ratings.
It’s the worst form of feigning rage I’ve evah seen!
Kini on April 24, 2009 at 4:02 PM
WTF Olby…please get a life, say on some God forsaken, remote, and out of the way island, where we NEVER have see or hear you again.
byteshredder on April 24, 2009 at 4:02 PM
Actually, I think he believes his crap is more valuable than that…
kybowexar on April 24, 2009 at 4:02 PM
I completely agree. He brought this upon himself. But Olby’s still a giant douche.
BadgerHawk on April 24, 2009 at 4:02 PM
Up the Ante’
If Hanity can last for 1 minute or more, O-barely-a-man has to quit all broadcast television.
PappaMac on April 24, 2009 at 4:03 PM
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