Newest cause of global warming: Fatties

posted at 9:13 pm on April 20, 2009 by Allahpundit

Two possible solutions: Rationing food or extermination, which makes sense given the warnings about cannibalism and reproduction taxes if we don’t get our carbon output under control.

If we can figure out a recipe for soylent green, we can solve this whole problem. Dibs on the 200-pounders.

Each fat person is said to be responsible for emitting a tonne more of climate-warming carbon dioxide per year than a thin one.

It means an extra BILLION TONNES of CO2 a year is created, according to World Health Organisation estimates of overweight people.

The scientists say providing extra grub for them to guzzle adds to carbon emissions that heat up the world, melting polar ice caps, raising sea levels and killing rain forests.

The environmental impact of fat humans is made even worse because they are more likely to travel by car — another major cause of carbon emissions.

Solution: Kill them, let animals feast upon their carcasses, then let humans feast upon the animals, yes? What could go wrong, Darwinists?

Breaking on Hot Air

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It’s about time people were made aware of this. These people have no respect for themselves so it’s no wonder they have no respect for the planet. The first move should be to impose quarterly “fat tariffs” as an incentive for the horizontally challenged to mend their ways. If that doesn’t work, then perhaps a program can be designed to reclaim the excess adipose tissue so as to make the serial abusers of the “all you can eat” buffet line more carbon friendly and, thereby, reducing their carbon footprints.

TheCulturalist on April 20, 2009 at 11:55 PM

Can any of the global warming whackos explain ONE little thing to me???

1. The Great Lakes did not exist 5000 years ago. That area of the continent was under an ice sheet TWO FREAKING MILES THICK.. Yep, there were no lakes, just a planet load of ice.

2. I was driving along the Delaware River just outside of Philly, pa this weekend on my way to a tea pary.. Along the road are huge grey rocks… left there by the last glacier which deposited them about 20000 years ago..

3. Mankind has only been around for 30k years or so.. The Industrial age has only been around for about 200.

SO, Al Dorko Gore and the rest of the Goreons… Just what in the flying monty python caused the ice caps to recede all the way into the far reaches of Canada??? Eh?? Wot?? The wisconsian ice age, and I forget the name of the other one, was about 90K years ago… 90 THOUSAND FREEKING YEARS OF FREAKING WARMING.. Do ya think there is a trend here???

Yes, we should try to conserve and not pollute, but this global warming druidism is a bunch of horse squeeze.

bullseye on April 21, 2009 at 12:15 AM

So… Will my size 13 carbon footprint reserve me a spot in the fatty re-education camp? We’ll be taught the error of our ways wile being fed rice cakes and wheat grass juice.

By this twisted logic we should not drive to the gym, take our kids to soccer practice or purchase exercise equipment that has been transported by truck or rail.

The only hope is to kill all humans!!!!!

superstretch on April 21, 2009 at 12:26 AM

What could go wrong, Darwinists?

Because I have guns, you see.

SouthernDem on April 21, 2009 at 12:30 AM

The Sun UK is not a reliable news source. You might as well get your news from NBC or CBS. These people also ran a story that stem cell injections will cure blindness. Simply and appallingly incendiary – when it’s not being totally ridiculous.

long_cat on April 21, 2009 at 12:30 AM

This is the best case yet for stopping Oprah and Rosie.

Claypigeon on April 21, 2009 at 12:36 AM

Newest cause of global warming: Fatties

AllahP will need to go all anorexic if he wants to be a couple with Meagan then – balance things out and all.

As for Al Gore, I would say he needs to pair up with someone who doesn’t even register on the scales.

MB4 on April 21, 2009 at 12:48 AM

I’m tellin’ ya, once Obamacare kicks in, they’ll be taxing fatties by the pound!

Rae on April 21, 2009 at 12:59 AM

Two possible solutions: Rationing food or extermination, which makes sense given the warnings about cannibalism and reproduction taxes if we don’t get our carbon output under control.

No, extermination does not make sense if cannibalism is in the near future.

And the population bomb fear mongers don’t have a clue about what is really happening to world population. Particularly those who live in the United States, who obviously haven’t looked at the birth and immigration figures.

HotWeaver on April 21, 2009 at 1:04 AM

Enviromentalist whackos!

Johan Klaus on April 21, 2009 at 1:12 AM

The real problem is fat heads.

Global imbeciles.

profitsbeard on April 21, 2009 at 1:14 AM

I am a proud and willing contributor of greenhouse gases. I ilve in south Texas where the Tex-Mex is to die for. Beans, rice, enchilladas, chips and salsa, tamales, fresh made tortillas… then I have some nice smoked brisket for dinner. In the morning some awesome breakfast tacos, bean & cheese, or maybe chorizo and egg. My gastrointestinal system is a well-oiled machine. I am about as opposite of green as you can get.

Farts are funny. Always have been, always will be.

:-)

cannonball on April 21, 2009 at 1:29 AM

Global warming > fatties. What would you rather look at? This or a pile of plastic cups? And they multiply.

radiofreevillage on April 21, 2009 at 1:32 AM

TheCulturalist on April 20, 2009 at 11:55 PM
radiofreevillage on April 21, 2009 at 1:32 AM

I love when people take stuff like this seriously. It’s cute.

GoodBoy on April 21, 2009 at 1:36 AM

“Climate Change” hysteria should be classified as a form of OCD.

Mike Honcho on April 21, 2009 at 1:45 AM

Kiss my fat ass, environmentalists!!1!1

Emily M. on April 21, 2009 at 1:56 AM

Don’t you get it AP? Everything causes global warming?

nazo311 on April 21, 2009 at 2:08 AM

GoodBoy on April 21, 2009 at 1:36 AM

dude, seriously?

TheCulturalist on April 21, 2009 at 2:22 AM

CAN’T STOP BREATHING

Hey, smoking Pot is great! You exhale plant material!

Kini on April 21, 2009 at 3:47 AM

Farting while driving is a deadly weapon of mass destruction or something like that.

Ropera on April 21, 2009 at 6:04 AM

These people just do not have enough to do.

Terrye on April 21, 2009 at 7:09 AM

Hell, these idiots will probably be taxing fat people.

Terrye on April 21, 2009 at 7:10 AM

“It is time we took account of the amount we are eating.

“This is about over-consumption by the wealthy countries. And the world demand for meat is increasing to match that of Britain and America.

“It is also much easier to get in your car and pick up a pint of milk than to take a walk.”

I agree with this. HOWEVER, this should be said by a family, not a government. Government should be concerned with infrastructure and defense. Get out of the way, otherwise.

Mommypundit on April 21, 2009 at 7:14 AM

It WILL lead to death. This (the earth) is a god to some and a political tool for others. This will not end well.

Mommypundit on April 21, 2009 at 7:15 AM

The Sun UK is not a reliable news source. You might as well get your news from….

long_cat on April 21, 2009 at 12:30 AM

The National Inquirer

The fabrication of global warming comes full circle with The Sun. Blame Al Gore for losing his self control at the dinner table.

maverick muse on April 21, 2009 at 7:18 AM

Hell, these idiots will probably be taxing fat people.

Terrye on April 21, 2009 at 7:10 AM

In a socialist state, particularly given socialized medical attention (rather than science addressing the latest “fat gene” with another Rx pill) poor fat people who can not personally afford liposuction to appear within the standard norm are placed at the end of the waiting list and told to lose weight first before being recommended for an appointment for anything else. Fat people are a bad risk to “waste” socialized medical money on; they won’t last long enough to put out the effort to help or save.

Taken seriously or not, this article in The Sun promotes public opinion to target fat people for popular expressions of moral hatred. There are too many asshats who actually believe whatever gets published in any rag. Take those Annenberg/USC 17 seconds to ponder that before determining your emotional response.

maverick muse on April 21, 2009 at 7:30 AM

maverick muse on April 21, 2009 at 7:18 AM

lol

blatantblue on April 21, 2009 at 7:48 AM

I don’t understand why atheists who are fearful of a state run religion aren’t as concerned about this.

This global warming scare has all the ear-marks of blind faith cult written all over it.

– Carbon alms and givings (tithing)
– Protecting Mother Gaia’s
– Pseudo science backing its claims
– Insistance that global warming policies are universal and that anything other than complete devotion is heresy.
– Infiltration of government policies.

shick on April 21, 2009 at 7:54 AM

shick on April 21, 2009 at 7:54 AM

.
Because it is their religion.

darktood on April 21, 2009 at 8:04 AM

Newest cause of global warming: Fatties

Studies like this suggest to me that GW scientists have hit rock bottom and have just kept digging.

*eats*

bluelightbrigade on April 21, 2009 at 8:07 AM

Bad news for some of our liberal posters…and poor Michael Moore, Oh and Al Gore looks like he qualifies for being “downsized”…

right2bright on April 21, 2009 at 8:18 AM

***NANNY STATE ALERT***

You’ll eat what Emperor Hussein tells you to eat, fat asses.

Pretty soon Obama will start giving speeches in Gunnery SGT. Hartman’s voice, and make all of America do pushups whenever Meghan Mclame eats a jelly doughnut.

leetpriest on April 21, 2009 at 8:54 AM

That is the lame statement from the UN. but then again, everything that comes out of the UN is lame-for they are lame

hawkman on April 21, 2009 at 9:24 AM

And I just lost 8 lbs…that makes me mad, I think I’ll want a cheezburger!

kirkill on April 21, 2009 at 10:13 AM

Each fat person is said to be responsible for emitting a tonne more of climate-warming carbon dioxide per year than a thin one.

So the Fat Police will force all overweight people onto a treadmill or bicycle to lose weight, and they start panting, and exhaling more CO2, and their sweat will evaporate and absorb more infrared rays than the CO2.

Then these slimmed-down fat people will live 10 years longer than they would have otherwise, and pollute the planet even more! Oh, horrors!

/sarc

Steve Z on April 21, 2009 at 10:19 AM

So like I said maybe a month or two ago, the only thing left is the openly genocidal phase of the green movement. All they have to do is drop the “voluntary” from the Voluntary Human Extinction Movement as it is anyway. When do-gooders get it in their heads that the problem is the number of people, solutions present themselves in short order.

It is funny (but not ha-ha funny) how the people who claim to be the most caring, all-knowing, and progressive always start the mass murder.

Beagle on April 21, 2009 at 10:42 AM

I can certainly see some similarities between the Global Warming crowd and other ‘true believers…’

CaptFlood on April 21, 2009 at 11:00 AM

We need a fat tax

bladegripp on April 21, 2009 at 11:06 AM

Algore needs to do something with his porklard rear. It is a bad testimony.

On the other hand, i see Obamacare rationing health care to the overweight, the elderly and other groups..Not smokers. we need 20 million more smokers to get tobacco tax to it’s target.

seven on April 21, 2009 at 11:06 AM

Then these slimmed-down fat people will live 10 years longer than they would have otherwise, and pollute the planet even more! Oh, horrors!

/sarc

Steve Z on April 21, 2009 at 10:19 AM

Ha. That’s the rib! So we cannot win this war of stupid ideologies.

Badger40 on April 21, 2009 at 11:08 AM

Under this kind of rationale, shouldn’t we be equally concerned with anyone who habitually exercises, or engages in atheletic activities or makes a living by engaging in spectacles for the masses that involves the use of human energy.

Because, everyone of those calories burned exercising, or engaging in atheletics, etc have to come from somewhere. So, it would seem, that people who are so careless about their caloric intake as to expend those calories engaged in frivolous physical activity are equally dangerous to the world even if they aren’t fat.

Hmm, so maybe this screed is just another display of prejudice and hatred towards those who don’t conform to the acceptable body shape. I thought we were past all that in our post-hatred world.

Shucks…

::rolls eyes::

Fatal on April 21, 2009 at 11:16 AM

Fatal on April 21, 2009 at 11:16 AM

Good point… it isn’t really about “fat” it’s about how many calories are consumed.

A marathon runner will often consume far more calories and exhale far more co2 than a fat couch potato.

Premade, calorie controlled, vegan meals are the only way to save the planet.

woohoo, problem solved… next!

TheCulturalist on April 21, 2009 at 11:52 AM

More to Love!

Ordinary1 on April 21, 2009 at 2:49 PM

I’m not fat, I’m a mobile carbon sequestration unit.

Anachronda on April 21, 2009 at 2:56 PM