Video: Our “Rain Man” vice president

posted at 9:57 pm on April 2, 2009 by Allahpundit

A new one from Crowder, evidently aimed at offending every decent person in the western world. I wouldn’t have called Biden a “Rain Man”; I’d have called him a Special Olympics reject, which is much more light-hearted, jocular, and forgivable.

There’s nothing funny about this administration. Nothing.

Blowback

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Thank you Allapundit for an uplifting post!
I love this guy.

carbon_footprint on April 2, 2009 at 10:01 PM

I get to wear my BIG BOY plugz…

sven10077 on April 2, 2009 at 10:02 PM

His “Tom Cruise” is hilarious.

pleaseandthankyou on April 2, 2009 at 10:04 PM

OMG LMAO!!!!

Man he does a GREAT Rain Man…

and Sarah Palin is an idiot…
*shakes head*

alexraye on April 2, 2009 at 10:04 PM

Yeah, 256 hair plugs.
Ha
I do think that estimate is a bit on the low side.
More like 30, 277.

carbon_footprint on April 2, 2009 at 10:07 PM

I love this guy…

D2Boston on April 2, 2009 at 10:09 PM

Man he does a GREAT Rain Man…

alexraye on April 2, 2009 at 10:04 PM

Ditto that. And a pretty OK T Cruise too.

“256 hairplugs” – LOL!

inviolet on April 2, 2009 at 10:09 PM

9/10. He’s still got to tighten up the skit parts of his videos. The sharp timing he has in his monologues seems absent in them.

I wasn’t aware of the three-letter word quote. Sweeeet.

MadisonConservative on April 2, 2009 at 10:10 PM

Dumb.

lorien1973 on April 2, 2009 at 10:10 PM

Oh, and it was 246, not 256, Crowder. 4 left in the box. Keep it up and we’ll put your name in the credits of Half Hour News Hour on IMDB.

MadisonConservative on April 2, 2009 at 10:11 PM

Now that brings teh funny.

JammieWearingFool on April 2, 2009 at 10:11 PM

fwwwwwwwwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!

29Victor on April 2, 2009 at 10:11 PM

Zo be better.

So did anyone else spend a thousand dollars on the White House sex-chat line before figuring out it was a fake?

Why is everyone looking at me like that, she said I made her hot. Jeez.

Bishop on April 2, 2009 at 10:13 PM

Poor Joe, Somehow I can’t see him completing his term as VP. Barry will throw him under the bus soon enough and some convenient excuse will be made so that he can resign allowing Hillary to take his place.

Dreadnought223 on April 2, 2009 at 10:18 PM

Asked for comment about this mishap, Deputy White House Press Secretary Bill Burton responded: “A corrected phone number on a press release is probably one of the stupider things FOX News has covered lately.”

Right.

FOX News is the incompotent outfit of morons here.

Got it.

Hawkins1701 on April 2, 2009 at 10:19 PM

Who is this “Joe Biden” he speaks of?

Has he been sent to an “undisclosed location” in order to keep the President safe (from his verbal gaffes)?

omnipotent on April 2, 2009 at 10:20 PM

Hilarious! And I agree, there is so much comedic material with this administration it’s a shame most of it’s going to waste.

4shoes on April 2, 2009 at 10:20 PM

Dreadnought223 on April 2, 2009 at 10:18 PM

Am tempted to agree w/ you but have to beg to differ. Hillary, though (let’s be blunt) evil is 1000x more competent than Obama and would make him look even more stupid than he is by comparison. Not to mention the worrisome fact that this woman, when put in positions of influence, stops at absolutely nothing to get more. Am surprised he made her Sec of State to tell you the truth, but VP? Too uncomfortably close IMO.

inviolet on April 2, 2009 at 10:22 PM

Hilarious! And I agree, there is so much comedic material with this administration it’s a shame most of it’s going to waste.

4shoes on April 2, 2009 at 10:20 PM

What comedic potential?

-D. Letterman

sven10077 on April 2, 2009 at 10:22 PM

Bishop on April 2, 2009 at

Lol. Hey its your personal contribution to saving the economy.=) We need more Zos and Crowders.

canditaylor68 on April 2, 2009 at 10:23 PM

Give Crowder a show! He is so hilarious. When will Dennis Miller interview him?

jencab on April 2, 2009 at 10:24 PM

One weak spot was the Biden quotes….the ones he did are fairly recent….Joe has a very long and distinguished history of being a complete tool….

And to think, when they announced JOE BIDEN as Ogabe’s running mate….I said to myself…game over.

God Bless America…or something

BigWyo on April 2, 2009 at 10:24 PM

Per the last link, I wonder if FOX News got their own “special” press release, or did this happen to other news outlets?

hillbillyjim on April 2, 2009 at 10:25 PM

You are right, there is nothing funny about this Administration…………

“In a press release, the White House accidentally listed a sex line number for journalists seeking an “on-the-record briefing call with Secretary of State Hillary Clinton and National Security Advisor Jim Jones to discuss the NATO summit.”

BBBBBWWWWWWWWWWAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!

Seven Percent Solution on April 2, 2009 at 10:28 PM

AP, that’s not fair. You need to share the toll-free number.

’cause I have this FEVAH for H, pantsuits, and absentee sex.

Let me vote “present,” baby! I got your cloture right here! (Futile, stupid gesture towards pants) ACCCCK!!!!

/we did everything we could, but he STILL pulled through.

wccawa on April 2, 2009 at 10:28 PM

That’s an insult to Rainman. I think Joe Biden’s hair plugs are eating his brain.

HornetSting on April 2, 2009 at 10:38 PM

aimed at offending every decent person in the western world

I wasn’t offended. Is that because I have a sense of humor not not a decent person?

Hog Wild on April 2, 2009 at 10:39 PM

“In a press release, the White House accidentally listed a sex line number for journalists seeking an “on-the-record briefing call with Secretary of State Hillary Clinton and National Security Advisor Jim Jones to discuss the NATO summit.”

976-CIGAR and 976-KOOL-AID.

HornetSting on April 2, 2009 at 10:42 PM

I’d LOL if it weren’t so freaking pathetic.

Oink on April 2, 2009 at 10:45 PM

Yes, we’ve never heard “stand up, chuck”. Teh MSM!!1eleventy!! is hiding that from us.

radiofreevillage on April 2, 2009 at 10:46 PM

Between Obama bowing to the Saudi king and Biden, well, being Biden, I would think this is all just a sick, twisted joke, but alas, this is our life, at least until one or the other gives up.

HornetSting on April 2, 2009 at 10:50 PM

Yes, we’ve never heard “stand up, chuck”. Teh MSM!!1eleventy!! is hiding that from us.

radiofreevillage on April 2, 2009 at 10:46 PM

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C2mzbuRgnI4
here

thomasaur on April 2, 2009 at 10:51 PM

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C2mzbuRgnI4
here

Dude, what smiley should I use to denote sarcasm? But thanks for providing that link. What’s those three red letters in the bottom left corner? Oh, that’s right. We’ve never heard that story from frigging CNN.

Here’s the thing. This guy is ok, since most of the time he says things that I agree with, particularly on economy, healthcare etc. But I’ve watched all his bits, and I haven’t heard a single original thought. And my standard of original here is something that’s not repeated daily on every conservative site.

If this is your new star, I pity you.

radiofreevillage on April 2, 2009 at 10:56 PM

1) Biden on poor D.C. school performance compared to Iowa: “There’s less than 1 percent of the population of Iowa that is African American. There is probably less than 4 or 5 percent that is, are minorities. What is it in Washington? So look, it goes back to what you start off with, what you’re dealing with.”
2) Biden, predicting crisis before June: “Watch, we’re gonna have an international crisis, a generated crisis, to test the mettle of this guy (Obama)…we’re gonna need you to use your influence, your influence within the community, to stand with him. Because it’s not gonna be apparent initially, it’s not gonna be apparent that we’re right.”
3) Biden told Jon Stewart, “John McCain is a personal friend, a great friend, and I would be honored to run with or against John McCain, because I think the country would be better off — be well off no matter who …,” where Stewart cut him off.
4) Biden repeatedly insisted that Hillary Clinton would’ve probably been a better choice for Obama.
5) Biden publicly opposed the AIG bailout, not realizing his running mate was for it
6) Biden called Palin Alaska’s “Lieutenant Governor”.
7) Biden accidentaly introduced his running mate as “Barack America”.
8) Biden, while trying to win votes in hotly contested Ohio, taunted Ohioans by announcing that Delaware’s team could “kick” the Ohio State football team’s, uh, posterior.
9) Biden publicly promised to ban “clean” coal after his running mate promised to invest heavily in it.
10) Biden told an endearing three-sentence summary supposedly about his own life, but it was taken nearly word-for-word from British politician Neil Kinnock.
11) Biden claimed his helicopter was “forced down” in enemy territory, but it was later learned that the flight was only postponed because of weather.
12) Biden looked at Missouri state senator Chuck Graham–seated in front of him–and demanded that he “Stand up!” without noticing that he was in a wheelchair.
13) Biden called Obama “the first mainstream African-American who is articulate and bright and clean…to run for President,” insulting Shirley Chisholm, Jesse Jackson, Carol Braun, and Al Sharpton.
14) Biden offended certain immigrants in Delaware by claiming, “You cannot go to a 7/11 or a Dunkin’ Donuts unless you have a slight Indian accent. I’m not joking.”
15) Biden angrily challenged a sincere questioner by insisting, “My IQ higher than yours!”
16) Biden on poor D.C. school performance compared to Iowa: “There’s less than 1 percent of the population of Iowa that is African American. There is probably less than 4 or 5 percent that is, are minorities. What is it in Washington? So look, it goes back to what you start off with, what you’re dealing with.”
17) Biden, unaware that Hoover was President in 1929, many years before TV was invented: “When the stock market crashed, Franklin Roosevelt got on the television and didn’t just talk about the princes of greed. He said, ‘look, here’s what happened.”‘
18) Biden slammed an Obama ad that mocked McCain for being “computer illiterate” without mentioning that it is McCain’s war injuries that inhibit him from using a keyboard. “I thought that (the ad) was terrible, by the way,” Biden said. Asked why it was done, he said: “I didn’t know we did it, and if I had anything to do with it, we’d have never done it.”
19) Delaware, he noted, was a “slave state that fought beside the North. That’s only because we couldn’t figure out how to get to the South. There were a couple of states in the way.”
20) Biden: “…a three letter word: J-O-B-S!”
21)Just after 9/11: “Seems to me this would be a good time to send, no strings attached, a check for $200 million to Iran.”
22) Forgot address of website he’s in charge of:
http://wbztv.com/video/?id=73411@wbz.dayport.com

jgapinoy on April 2, 2009 at 11:04 PM

BBBBBWWWWWWWWWWAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!

Seven Percent Solution on April 2, 2009 at 10:28 PM

In their defense Hillary did get the number Bill.

- The Cat

MirCat on April 2, 2009 at 11:09 PM

funny guy. needs to work on those room acoustics though…

swash_plate on April 2, 2009 at 11:20 PM

Love this guy. Love the Zo too.
They are both brilliant and very talented.
They need to hook up and do a show together.

TheSitRep on April 2, 2009 at 11:26 PM

You people know he’s crazier than a shithouse rat, right? Joe Biden is crazy uncle joe, Every family has an uncle joe of some sort in it, this one just happens to be Vice President of the United States of America. Unfreakinbelievable! I’ve been entertained every time uncle Joe opens his mouth.

Dadzilla on April 2, 2009 at 11:28 PM

They need to hook up and do a show together.

TheSitRep on April 2, 2009 at 11:26 PM

How ’bout we skip the “hook up” part, and have them work together? (Not that there’s anything wrong with that.) My late night snack is kind of sitting funny.

Laura in Maryland on April 2, 2009 at 11:29 PM

I don’t want them to end…

Move over Rush, this guy has talent on loan from God too……

katy on April 2, 2009 at 11:53 PM

I’m suprised he hasn’t been banned from youtube yet for content violation or some such crap.

boomer on April 2, 2009 at 11:53 PM

Love this guy,pc be damned,full speed ahead,
and he’s Canadian!

And he’s absolutely right,

if this was Bush….

canopfor on April 3, 2009 at 12:22 AM

Best laugh of the day!

Maquis on April 3, 2009 at 12:26 AM

This guy is great. He probably offended people with autistic and asperger children.

jediwebdude on April 3, 2009 at 12:29 AM

This guy is great. He probably offended people with autistic and asperger children.

Yeah…probably…probably yeah…offended…yeah… ;)

Maquis on April 3, 2009 at 12:38 AM

Joe Biden sort of reminds be of a younger Grandpa Simpson.

Dreadnought223 on April 3, 2009 at 1:06 AM

Love this guy. Love the Zo too.
They need to hook up and do a show together.

TheSitRep on April 2, 2009 at 11:26 PM

As long as it’s not PJTV that hooks them up… you have to admit that his latest work for PJTV has stripped away a lot of the manic energy that made Zo, Zo.

I’d rather Crowder either have a tipjar or sell DVDs/merchandise on his website so that people support him in a market-driven way.

ScottMcC on April 3, 2009 at 1:31 AM

Barry will throw him under the bus soon enough and some convenient excuse will be made so that he can resign allowing Hillary to take his place.

Dreadnought223 on April 2, 2009 at 10:18 PM

Yeah because Hillary has been doing such a bang-up job as secretary of state! That reset button was really classy wasn’t it, you know the one with the wrong translation? And bowing down to China and letting them roll over us, ignoring their human rights abuses and pleading with them to buy the debt that the Obama administration was putting on us. Oh yeah, Hillary will make a great VP! I think it won’t be too long that SHE gets thrown under the bus.

Christian Conservative on April 3, 2009 at 1:36 AM

Okay, Okay, this vid surpassed mere amusement in a heart beat, and vaulted past ha ha, or a warm chuckle effortlessly,
blew doors off the regular old belly laugh, and finally, most deservedly, settled into the prestigious promised land of –

Pissed my pants – dom.

Now I have to go the cleaners.

Damn.

moc23 on April 3, 2009 at 2:18 AM

I think I’m in love with Crowder.

CarolynM on April 3, 2009 at 5:57 AM

My fave Bidenisms are his being against clean coal and his FDR on TV. If Palin had said either she would have been forced from the ticket. But not Rain Man Biden. Despite his hair plugs having strangled his remaining brain cell, he still troops on.
Oh, and State Department’s giving out a phone sex number for updates, three thoughts come to mind: if it was lesbian, then Hillary’s Office gave it out, if it was straight sex line, then Bill probably inserted it into the Press Release. But either way, State is telling the American people that screwing them is the uppermost task in the minds of the Obama Administration.
But we will see how the late nights and cable comics handle this one, cause we know how they’d skewer a republican who did this. Condi Rice’s Office giving out a sex phone line number, why it might even make it into a Broadway play or something.

eaglewingz08 on April 3, 2009 at 6:39 AM

A little O/T, Racist British Aquarium scientists have named a destructive four foot brown colored monster worm, “Barry”, after capturing it in a coral reef bed of the aquarium as reported by AOL:

Huge Sea Worm Captured in Britain
AOL posted: 8 HOURS 9 MINUTES
April 2) –

Staff at a British aquarium have captured a massive sea worm that had been terrorizing other aquatic life.
For months, the 4-foot-long creature — which staffers call “Barry” — had been devastating coral reef at Newquay’s Blue Reef Aquarium, the Daily Mail newspaper reported Tuesday. The menacing monster also apparently injured a Tang fish.
Skip over this content

Initially, aquarium workers weren’t sure what was harming the coral, which in some cases was cut in half. After weeks with no clues, they decided to take the display apart to see if they could find the culprit, the Mail reported.
Workers laid bait traps, which were mysteriously destroyed in the night, as the glutton apparently devoured the fish hooks right along with the bait. Finally, staffers spotted the tropical worm, which bit through a 20-pound fishing line before staffers were able to successfully remove it from the tank.
Skip over this content The creature is covered with nasty bristles that sting and can cause permanent numbness in humans, the newspaper said.
“Tt really does look like something out of a horror movie,” Matt Slater, the aquarium’s curator, told the Mail. “It’s over 4 feet long with these bizarre-looking jaws.”
Slater said he suspects Barry arrived as a baby in a shipment from another aquarium. The worm now lives in his own tank.

So just as President Barry is destroying our economy like this massive sea worm, the British Barry was destroying its own home in the British Aquarium. Ironic, no?

eaglewingz08 on April 3, 2009 at 6:57 AM

Thursdays are now my favorite day of the week – er, Friday AM.

gopmom on April 3, 2009 at 7:16 AM

I guess it depends on party.

tarpon on April 3, 2009 at 7:49 AM

hahah I thought it was funny.

becki51758 on April 3, 2009 at 8:45 AM

This guy is great. He probably offended people with autistic and asperger children.

jediwebdude on April 3, 2009 at 12:29 AM

As an Aspie, I thought it was hilarious. I do have a sick sense of humor, though. : D

Anna on April 3, 2009 at 9:01 AM

Soros and Geffen knew exactly what they were doing when they chose this boob to be first in line for the most powerful position in the world. He was not chosen for his self-proclaimed ‘foreign policy expertise’ or for any of the stupid and dangerous ideas he has put forth in the past, but only for distraction. Joey boy provides the distraction while the socialists reshape our economy and our society. I laughed heartily when Biden was chosen. I don’t think it’s funny any more.

maryo on April 3, 2009 at 9:12 AM

maryo

I thought he was chosen so no sane person would consider assassinating Ogabe for fear of who would step…er, stumble into the oval office.

SKYFOX on April 3, 2009 at 9:50 AM

Who is better at getting their word out Obama, Zo, or Crowder? Anybody but Obama, so says the teleprompter.

MSGTAS on April 3, 2009 at 9:58 AM

There’s nothing funny about this administration. Nothing.

Brown chicken, brown cow. “For deep, anal r@ping deficits, call 1-900-…..”

Well, did you see Bill “Megyn Kelly’s Punching Bag” Burton’s response?

Dr.Cwac.Cwac on April 3, 2009 at 10:18 AM

Crowder is off the chain!

Kjeil on April 3, 2009 at 10:38 AM

Joe Biden sort of reminds be of a younger Grandpa Simpson.

Dreadnought223 on April 3, 2009 at 1:06 AM

“Lets’ see, I’m an Elk, a Rotarian, a Communist, I’m the President of the Gay And Lesbian Alliance for some reason… Here it is, the Stonecutters!”

Frozen Tex on April 3, 2009 at 11:48 AM

This is the irony I see here is this: The left has, for the last 8 years, insinuated that Bush was an bumbling idiot who is capable of nothing more than enriching his buddies and provoking the rest of the world; and that Chaney is an angry, old man.

So what did they elect in 08? ……..A bumbling idiot who is capable of nothing more than enriching his buddies and provoking the rest of the world, and a VP who is an angry, old man. The flaw I see in this video (which, honestly, was funnier than anything on “mainstream late night”, such as the dried-up Letterman and the hack Stewert) is that, despite Biden being Rainman-esque in almost every regard, his delivery isn’t as soft-spoken as Rainman. For instance, in the budget scene, rather than quitely call himself an excellent driver…

“MY DAUGHTER SNORTED COCAINE!! [throws stapler across the room] I AM THE BEST MAN EVER IN THE WHOLE UNIVERSE! WAPNER ON IN 5 MINUTES! [turns over the table] MUST SAVE AMERICA! [charges through the wall behind him, leaving a path of rubble]”

Thankfully, unlikely what the left accused of the previous administration, apparently Biden isn’t whispering in BigO’s ears. And God help us all if he is. ….Or maybe he was, and that’s why BigO is now deaf to the rest of the world.

CatsGodot on April 3, 2009 at 2:43 PM

I liked Crowder’s Tom Cruise impression. It’s note perfect.

aengus on April 3, 2009 at 9:03 PM