MYOB-wax?

posted at 6:05 pm on March 16, 2009 by Ed Morrissey

An old political joke instructed people that the difference between liberals and conservatives was that the former wanted government in the boardroom while the latter wanted government in the bedroom.  Maybe we need a new category of people who want government in your underwear.  New Jersey now wants to outlaw the Brazilian wax job:

Things could get hairy in New Jersey this summer for women who sport revealing bikinis or a little bit less.

The painful Brazilian wax and its intimate derivatives are in danger of being stripped from salon and spa menus if a recent proposal to ban genital waxing is passed by the state’s Board of Cosmetology and Hairstyling.

Cherry Hill salon owner Linda Orsuto said that women would “go ballistic” if the proposal passed. She said that some women would resort to waxing themselves, visiting unlicensed salons or traveling to other states, including Pennsylvania, in a quest to remain bare down there.

“The clients are going to freak,” said Orsuto, who owns 800 West Salon & Spa, on Route 70. “It’s a hot issue, and we’re going to have to do something.”

New Jersey statutes allow waxing of the face, neck, arms, legs and abdomen, but officials say that genital waxing has always been illegal, although not spelled out.

Without commenting on the value or the need for such services as a Brazilian wax, why is New Jersey involved in the issue at all?  Politicians say they have received complaints about injuries and infections, but point to a grand total of two such hospitalizations in a year.  I’d bet bicycling generates more than that in a month in New Jersey, and is less regulated.  Those two cases can be addressed through licensing boards and legal action against the service provider, not an outright ban.

People pay for a lot of services and goods I’d choose not to buy, including this, but that doesn’t mean it should be banned.  What possible state interest could be found in banning hair removal and the voluntary agreement for compensation for it?

On the other hand, maybe Garden State residents have it good.  Obviously, their state government has solved all of their other problems if they have time to worry about Brazilian wax jobs.  Maybe New Jersey voters should call their state legislators and, er, congratulate them on having so much free time that they feel compelled to worry about bikini lines.

Update: As commenter Csdeven warns, get ready for a flood of back-alley wax jobs.  “Keep your hands off of my … er …”


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There be tarantulas in New Jersey!

lorien1973 on March 16, 2009 at 6:07 PM

they know best….ask ‘em they’ll tell you….

google benzene ban for a real laugh…

Ogabe’s lucky the young are morons now because “benefit to cost” is a real ratio…

sven10077 on March 16, 2009 at 6:08 PM

I hope that Corzine gets his clock cleaned in NJ.

William Amos on March 16, 2009 at 6:08 PM

Can you imagine all the backroom wax jobs that will be performed?

Oh the horror!

csdeven on March 16, 2009 at 6:09 PM

There be tarantulas in New Jersey!

lorien1973 on March 16, 2009 at 6:07 PM

Bikini spiders?

Guardian on March 16, 2009 at 6:09 PM

New Jersey girls are famous for their big hair.

DeweyWins on March 16, 2009 at 6:11 PM

The Brazilian Wax could replace waterboarding down in Gitmo. Trust me.
Could you imagine just how hairy KSM is?

HornetSting on March 16, 2009 at 6:11 PM

There be tarantulas in New Jersey!

lorien1973 on March 16, 2009 at 6:07 PM
Bikini spiders?

Guardian on March 16, 2009 at 6:09 PM

East European women.

William Amos on March 16, 2009 at 6:11 PM

I have a feeling this thread is gonna get hairy.

HornetSting on March 16, 2009 at 6:12 PM

Do we want to outlaw this procedure and force young women to get back alley Brazilians?

Tantor on March 16, 2009 at 6:12 PM

“It’s a hot issue,..

.
So very, very hot…

ronsfi on March 16, 2009 at 6:12 PM

Do they really want the..aftermath.

Speakup on March 16, 2009 at 6:12 PM

Huh…

You sure they weren’t talking about Brazilian whack jobs? This is Jersey, after all…

AW1 Tim on March 16, 2009 at 6:12 PM

This is what they do. When politicians refuse to do what they are suppose to do,, all that is left is everything else.

JellyToast on March 16, 2009 at 6:12 PM

Politicians like to wax long on frivolous legislation?

beatcanvas on March 16, 2009 at 6:13 PM

Only the NJ mafia will be doing wax jobs after this passes…

Scotsman on March 16, 2009 at 6:13 PM

Sadly, this will mostly cause a downturn on New Jersey beach tourism.

myrenovations on March 16, 2009 at 6:14 PM

Oh, for the love of peat… moss.

I think its raaaaaacist! That’s not the Brazilian I knew!

singlemalt_18 on March 16, 2009 at 6:15 PM

I do think this needs further research to lay the facts bare.

cryptojunkie on March 16, 2009 at 6:15 PM

“Bring back Bush”

the_nile on March 16, 2009 at 6:15 PM

They are looking forward to all the bribes they will collect from the people who want to man the checkpoints looking for, um, violators.

pedestrian on March 16, 2009 at 6:16 PM

Anyone care to send out a warning to the overcrowded beaver population?

holymack on March 16, 2009 at 6:16 PM

FWIW, I just checked my underwear, and there are no liberals there. Thank God, I though we were facing an infestation or something!

Scotsman on March 16, 2009 at 6:17 PM

Damn. There goes my summer job.

Greg Toombs on March 16, 2009 at 6:18 PM

I’ll volunteer to do it for all nubile lowerly-hirsute young ladies if they want to cross the line.

State line, I mean.

No woman should have to bear hair she doesn’t want.

Plus, it can all be donated to the Veep.

profitsbeard on March 16, 2009 at 6:18 PM

If Brazilian waxing is outlawed, only outlaws will be Brazilian waxed.

I know that’s pretty hairy, but someone had to say it.

;o)

kakypat on March 16, 2009 at 6:19 PM

They had over 3,000 men and Rosie show up for the new Brazilian wax inspector position…

right2bright on March 16, 2009 at 6:19 PM

Things could get hairy in New Jersey this summer for women who sport revealing bikinis or a little bit less.

Thanks for ensuring that I go to bed tonight with the most horrible of images.

radiofreevillage on March 16, 2009 at 6:20 PM

“Hey mom, I just got a job at the Y”…

right2bright on March 16, 2009 at 6:20 PM

Heh, I like the thread pic! If this Nanny-state business keeps up it won’t be long until the gubment goes from banning Brazilian waxes to banning bikini’s and only allowing women to wear that “beach-burka” when at the beach!

If the gubment even thinks of such a ban then the revolution would be on and it won’t just be conservatives that revolt, every red-blooded American male will be hauling-azz to DC with pitchforks and torches in hand!

Liberty or Death on March 16, 2009 at 6:21 PM

Mob-controlled beautician speakeasies?

Hmmm…the password could be, “Hillary”

/ducks

Wanderlust on March 16, 2009 at 6:22 PM

How do they plan to enforce it?

“Excuse me miss, I’m with the department of hair control. You have been chosen for a random inspection to ensure you are not waxing illegally. Drop ‘em Toots.”

Guardian on March 16, 2009 at 6:23 PM

WWWD?

What Would Waxman Do?

profitsbeard on March 16, 2009 at 6:23 PM

Nothing wrong with hairy women.
But, seriously, what were they thinking?

Count to 10 on March 16, 2009 at 6:24 PM

How do they plan to enforce it?

Someone’s gonna have to study HARD to learn the minute and exacting differences between a brazilian and a shave…

I’m so there :)

Wanderlust on March 16, 2009 at 6:24 PM

It’s OK to rip a baby from the inside, but not the hair from the outside…… Swell

thomasaur on March 16, 2009 at 6:25 PM

Oh, sure. You can abort babies, but you can’t depilate. Here’s your choice, New Jersey.

mchristian on March 16, 2009 at 6:25 PM

I guess the headline should read: BLUE STATE POLITICIANS SUPPORT BUSH!

Teacher in Tejas on March 16, 2009 at 6:26 PM

This might slow down the effects of the stimulus……

JeffVader on March 16, 2009 at 6:26 PM

Thinking of back-alley Brazillians reminds me of the chain-email I got a while back – where a woman tries to wax herself, and gets stuck to the toilet-seat/bathtub with hilarious results.

Waxing (which I don’t do) is a lot like getting your hair dyed (which I do) – if you want the job done right, it pays to pay a professional. Regulations, proper training and licensing are the way to go, not banning.

Anna on March 16, 2009 at 6:26 PM

People pay for a lot of services and goods I’d choose not to buy, including this

Thank you ed for not buying this! The thought is really too much.

jsulman on March 16, 2009 at 6:27 PM

So, most likely any enforcement of this would be in terms of sting operations–sending in someone to request the…procedure.
Dirty thoughts aside, no one is going to get the authority to view women unclothed.

Count to 10 on March 16, 2009 at 6:27 PM

U.S.G.C.W.P. at your cervix!

(U.S. Government Crotch Watching Patrol.)

profitsbeard on March 16, 2009 at 6:27 PM

There be tarantulas in New Jersey!

lorien1973 on March 16, 2009 at 6:07 PM

Bikini spiders?

Guardian on March 16, 2009 at 6:09 PM

East European women.

William Amos on March 16, 2009 at 6:11 PM

Well one doesn’th ave to go as far as Eastern Europe to see bikini spiders, tarantulas, etc. One only has to have the misfortune of cruising through Berkeley on a warm summer day to see the above along with some leg and armpit moss….yuck…I think I just threw up a little in my mouth….

Liberty or Death on March 16, 2009 at 6:28 PM

There will be stiff penalties, of course.

profitsbeard on March 16, 2009 at 6:29 PM

“Shave and a Hair Cut………… Two Bits!”

Seven Percent Solution on March 16, 2009 at 6:31 PM

Gives a new meaning to………

……….. “Going Green”.

Seven Percent Solution on March 16, 2009 at 6:32 PM

Another prime example of Legislatures only being in session PART TIME. They’ve obviously got way too much free time on their hands.

GarandFan on March 16, 2009 at 6:32 PM

Well one doesn’th ave to go as far as Eastern Europe to see bikini spiders, tarantulas, etc. One only has to have the misfortune of cruising through Berkeley on a warm summer day to see the above along with some leg and armpit moss….yuck…I think I just threw up a little in my mouth….

Liberty or Death on March 16, 2009 at 6:28 PM

As with many things, it is not the natural presence of this particular feature that offends–but the kind of people most likely to sport it.
(If you are ever in Davis during the Whole Earth Festival, remember to stay upwind of campus)

Count to 10 on March 16, 2009 at 6:33 PM

This brings up a whole new definition of “Bad Hair Day!”…

AW1 Tim on March 16, 2009 at 6:34 PM

This can not be serious.

ORconservative on March 16, 2009 at 6:34 PM

I use an epilator on my legs and it does a dandy job, but in the, ahem, area, egads.

For the gentlemen, who may not know, an epilator is an electrical device used to remove hair by mechanically grasping multiple hairs simultaneously and pulling them out by the root.

The things we women do…

tru2tx on March 16, 2009 at 6:34 PM

Brings new meaning to the term waxing poetic….

Braindroppings on March 16, 2009 at 6:35 PM

There they go blaming bush again.

faraway on March 16, 2009 at 6:36 PM

Such a ban would bring the Miami social scene – not to mention the economy – to a screeching halt.

SWLiP on March 16, 2009 at 6:37 PM

Lord, she looks like she has a squirrel trapped in her bikini brief!

AW1 Tim on March 16, 2009 at 6:37 PM

I use an epilator on my legs and it does a dandy job, but in the, ahem, area, egads.

For the gentlemen, who may not know, an epilator is an electrical device used to remove hair by mechanically grasping multiple hairs simultaneously and pulling them out by the root.

The things we women do…

tru2tx on March 16, 2009 at 6:34 PM

…and then there are the practical reasons…

Count to 10 on March 16, 2009 at 6:37 PM

I can imagine that these wax places can probably spread some rather interesting infections. They don’t replace the wax between customers, after all. Very few such infections would require hospitalization, but the state health department would get the reports, since most STDs are still reportable illnesses.

There may have been some outbreaks that were traced back to waxing facilities. Ewwwww.

I can’t think of any other reason that the state would have even paid attention to the topic.

funky chicken on March 16, 2009 at 6:38 PM

This is terrible. Those NJ Italian girls need a waxing more than anyone.

keep the change on March 16, 2009 at 6:39 PM

Didn’t obama just meet with the President of Brazil over this matter? Where is Donna Brazile when you need her?

portlandon on March 16, 2009 at 6:40 PM

I’ll bet this happened five minutes after someone in Trenton asked, “Hey, why the hell do we have a state Board of Cosmetology and Hairstyling?”

Mike Antonucci on March 16, 2009 at 6:41 PM

She said that some women would resort to waxing themselves, visiting unlicensed salons or traveling to other states, including Pennsylvania

Pennsylvania? Amish wax mills?

Question: When does a follicle become a full-blown hair?

peski on March 16, 2009 at 6:42 PM

They don’t replace the wax between customers, after all.

funky chicken on March 16, 2009 at 6:38 PM

What?!! How do they get the last persons hair out of the old wax? Melt it and strain it out?

Baaarrrrffff!

Guardian on March 16, 2009 at 6:42 PM

So, if I’m to understand this, the pols want to stop hair removal but allow tatooing and piercing of the same spots (and even more sensitive ones)?

I think the remedy to this is to force all NJ pols who are pushing this cr#p to get public Brazilian wax jobs (posted on YouTube) to demonstrate exactly what the problems are.

P.S. As a smoker (part of the most put-upon, over-taxed, demonized funder of wasted health care money) who has had to deal with the daily dictates from the fascists, I’m not at all surprised. We smokers were only the first. Fascists are never satisfied. People will learn tha hard way. Laugh about these waxes, but they are just another pit-stop for the fascists, who are moving on to bigger and better things.

progressoverpeace on March 16, 2009 at 6:43 PM

That really makes my scrotum blue!

bloggless on March 16, 2009 at 6:44 PM

Question: When does a follicle become a full-blown hair?

peski on March 16, 2009 at 6:42 PM

Line of the day!!!

bloggless on March 16, 2009 at 6:45 PM

RULE ONE

YOU DO NOT MESS WITH A JERSEY GIRL’S PERSONAL GROOMING.

DO NOT.

blatantblue on March 16, 2009 at 6:47 PM

First, Bush was in for four years.

Then, Bush was out for eight years.

Then, Bush was in for another eight years.

This doesn’t make sense…

pain train on March 16, 2009 at 6:48 PM

Liberals in your underwear.

Good god…have you any idea how much that line creeps me out?

flipflop on March 16, 2009 at 6:48 PM

Can you imagine all the backroom wax jobs that will be performed?

Oh the horror!

csdeven on March 16, 2009 at 6:09 PM

My collie says:

If waxes are outlawed, only outlaws will have wax.

CyberCipher on March 16, 2009 at 6:48 PM

What possible state interest could be found in banning hair removal and the voluntary agreement for compensation for it?

Simple: Marxists want to run every aspect of every person’s life.

They’re power-hungry, totalitarian bastards who deserve, at least, the back of the hand and, at most, to be the first against the wall when the revolution comes. Trenton is full to the brim with them, and Corzine their Dear Leader.

/spits

I hope to God the voters have enough common sense to kick his bald ass to the curb and put either Christie or Lonegan in office.

Harpazo on March 16, 2009 at 6:48 PM

Quick! Invest in tweezers.

bloggless on March 16, 2009 at 6:49 PM

Mob-controlled beautician speakeasies?

Hmmm…the password could be, “Hillary”

/ducks

Wanderlust on March 16, 2009 at 6:22 PM

Hmmm…I am looking for ways to supliment my income, maybe I should move to NJ and setup a wax-easy! First I’ll wax out all the competition, then I’ll need a secret password for entry into the wax-easy, something like no-bearded-clams…hmmmm…no too obvious, someone help me think of a password!

After I’ve cornered the prohibited Brazilian wax biz in NJ all the other mobsters will come to kiss my ring and I will be known as “Don-Baldie.”

Liberty or Death on March 16, 2009 at 6:50 PM

What?!! How do they get the last persons hair out of the old wax? Melt it and strain it out?

Baaarrrrffff!

Guardian on March 16, 2009 at 6:42 PM

Oh, sorry. They throw away the used wax with the hair attached. But they just use the same pot of melted wax over and over on all the different customers. And they use one applicator stick to apply wax to the same customer, basically double-dipping until the job is done.

I had my legs waxed one time and was pretty grossed out by the thought, actually.

That’s what a degree in microbiology can do for you, I guess.

funky chicken on March 16, 2009 at 6:51 PM

Liberals in your underwear…the NEW venereal disease.

CyberCipher on March 16, 2009 at 6:51 PM

There they go blaming bush again.

faraway on March 16, 2009 at 6:36 PM

Heh, excellent! +1000

Liberty or Death on March 16, 2009 at 6:51 PM

So basically, they use the same pot of wax and stick to wax all parts of the anatomy? You would think they would at least have a seperate pot of wax specifically for hineys. That’s the least they could do.

bloggless on March 16, 2009 at 6:53 PM

I guess the headline should read: BLUE STATE POLITICIANS SUPPORT BUSH!

Teacher in Tejas on March 16, 2009 at 6:26 PM

Snort

This might slow down the effects of the stimulus……

JeffVader on March 16, 2009 at 6:26 PM

Double Snort

Amadeus on March 16, 2009 at 6:53 PM

I don’t mind a woman who’s au naturale, but honestly, a Brazilian should be forced on some women, like hippies.

Sheez!

madmonkphotog on March 16, 2009 at 6:54 PM

My gawd…is nothing sacred anymore?

I blame Bush.

Wyznowski on March 16, 2009 at 6:55 PM

Those silly politicians are looking for a way to tax cootie.

Amadeus on March 16, 2009 at 6:55 PM

I think I like it. Quite franky, I’ve had enough of this Bush bashing.

pain train on March 16, 2009 at 6:55 PM

I guess the headline should read: BLUE STATE POLITICIANS SUPPORT BUSH!

Teacher in Tejas on March 16, 2009 at 6:26 PM

Headline will more likely read: BIKINI BAN BLAMED ON BUSH.

Liberals in your underwear.

Good god…have you any idea how much that line creeps me out?

flipflop on March 16, 2009 at 6:48 PM

Frankly, it leaves me thong-tied.

Dr. Charles G. Waugh on March 16, 2009 at 6:56 PM

Obama bans bonuses for wax companies.

faraway on March 16, 2009 at 6:57 PM

(If you are ever in Davis during the Whole Earth Festival, remember to stay upwind of campus)

Count to 10 on March 16, 2009 at 6:33 PM

Oh man, I know exactly what you are talking about, I went through a certificate program at Davis and remember those, yep just as bad if not worse than Berkeley.

I DON’T CARE WHAT LIBERALS SAY…HIPPIES DO SMELL!

*PLUGGING MY NOSE AND GAGGING*

Liberty or Death on March 16, 2009 at 6:58 PM

Nair stocks will skyrocket tomorrow

RightWinged on March 16, 2009 at 7:01 PM

Oh, sorry. They throw away the used wax with the hair attached. But they just use the same pot of melted wax over and over on all the different customers. And they use one applicator stick to apply wax to the same customer, basically double-dipping until the job is done.

I had my legs waxed one time and was pretty grossed out by the thought, actually.

That’s what a degree in microbiology can do for you, I guess.

funky chicken on March 16, 2009 at 6:51 PM

Showing my ignorance of the subject, but…
I thought the wax was hot. Wouldn’t that tend to make hygiene questions moot?

Count to 10 on March 16, 2009 at 7:03 PM

I don’t mind a woman who’s au naturale, but honestly, a Brazilian should be forced on some women, like hippies.

Sheez!

madmonkphotog on March 16, 2009 at 6:54 PM

Yep, and lets not forget to force them to take showers and use deodorant too….’cause hippies smell!

Liberty or Death on March 16, 2009 at 7:04 PM

Oh man, I know exactly what you are talking about, I went through a certificate program at Davis and remember those, yep just as bad if not worse than Berkeley.

I DON’T CARE WHAT LIBERALS SAY…HIPPIES DO SMELL!

*PLUGGING MY NOSE AND GAGGING*

Liberty or Death on March 16, 2009 at 6:58 PM

and the other students claimed not to notice.
Of course, its not just unwashed bodies. Frankly, I have no idea what they were smoking, but it didn’t improve the smell at all.

Count to 10 on March 16, 2009 at 7:06 PM

Whatever happened to “keep your laws off of my body” mantra?

Is NOW outraged?

Chubbs65 on March 16, 2009 at 7:07 PM

My collie says:

If waxes are outlawed, only outlaws will have wax.
CyberCipher on March 16, 2009 at 6:48 PM

My domestic short hair feline says:

Come on down, collie. You can still be waxed in NM. Less postage to send you to Korea.

HornetSting on March 16, 2009 at 7:07 PM

On the other hand, one wonders how many of those women with matted never-been-washed lumps of head hair also have said Brazilian wax.

Count to 10 on March 16, 2009 at 7:08 PM

This coming from the state that won’t let people pump their own gas.

askheaves on March 16, 2009 at 7:09 PM

…Bush attacked Dukakis on many fronts. Dukakis, for his part, was slow to respond to charges that he was ‘soft‘…

True story.

pain train on March 16, 2009 at 7:10 PM

Oh NO!

This would spoil one of my favorite summer pastimes!

At 275 lbs. 6’5″ tall (each), my two bearded brothers and I LOVE to wander into Florida salons in bibbed overalls, Caterpillar hats, work boots, and so on, and demand ‘estimates’ for a group rate on some o’ that bikini waxin’.

There is nothing so priceless as the look of horror on the receptionist’s face when you grab that shoulder strap button and say:

“But I guess you’ll need a GOOD look before you can give us a quote”.

Brings a whole new meaning to “shock and awe”.

We’ve actually threatened sexism lawsuits, too.

It’s only fair!

heldmyw on March 16, 2009 at 7:10 PM

Must take the entire output of Yankee Candle to do Michelle Obama.

marklmail on March 16, 2009 at 7:13 PM

These are the kind of dumb questions that make me embarrassed to be a conservative. Cosmetologists and other professions involving touching are carefully monitored because Prostitutes and Criminal Quacks will pretend to be anything in order to victimize people. Open your brain cells, will ya?

Observation on March 16, 2009 at 7:20 PM

WHY DO YOU TEMPT ME SO!

- The Cat

P.S.

visiting unlicensed salons

Speak Waxies?

MirCat on March 16, 2009 at 7:23 PM

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